Disclaimer: I do not own them. All the characters belong to Joss, MutantEnemy and other companies. So don't sue.
Rating: if you see the show you can read this
Spoilers: some parts of the Seasons, but mainly AU
Summary: This is an AU. Angel and Buffy have met, they have kissed in the 'Angel-episode' (Season 1). But all the dating, kissing and for this Surprise/Innocence never happened. Also not Becoming. Angel was in love with Buffy from day 1, but he never told her. She had a crush on him but becausehe was always distant they were only friends. He left after GRAD2, because he could not stand being near her and not telling her about his feelings. He did not think he was worthy, you know all the guilt yadda, yadda... AND he knew about the curse and the loophole. Angel went to LA, IWRY happened in a different style. She came to see him for business reasons, he told her that he loved her and they made love (for the first time, because he was human), and he made the Oracles turn back time for well known reasons. The rest of Season 4- Buffy and 1-Angel happened (well Sanctuary of course was different), but Buffy did not sleep with Parker or Riley so far!!! However we are now at a time when Buffy graduates from college.

Part 1

Angel closed the files he had been reading when Cordelia rushed in his office - without knocking as always.

"I am going to the mall," she said, looking at him.

Angel only quirked an eyebrow and she continued: "I need a dress, you know. Buffy invited us to her graduation and the party, I repeat a party, which means I have to dress up."

Angel rolled his eyes: "Cordelia, you have what hundreds of robes to wear."

Now it was her term to roll her eyes:

"That's the typical answer from Mr-I-dress-only-black-and-look-good. But I need a robe. However I just wanted to inform you I will be gone for some hours. Oh, and by the way, did you call her?"

"Whom?"

She sighed in frustration: "Buffy! The little, blonde slayer living in Sunnydale. Did you tell her about your news?"

"No, there is no need to do it. She'll see it soon enough and besides why should she be interested, we haven't seen each other for over four years."

"Yeah, yeah, fine. But I am not blonde, you know. And I have eyes."

"Meaning?"

"Come on, don't you think I never saw you sitting in your office staring at her picture. Why did you never tell her you loved her for Christ sake?"

"Sorry, Cordelia, but that is none of your business."

"Fine. But this," she pointed at the open window and himself sitting in sunlight: "Does this not change everything?"

"Change what?"

"Angel," she sighed in frustration: "I know you left Sunnydale, because you did not feel worthy to tell her about your feelings. Plus you were a vampire and you saw no future for you both but now..."

"Didn't you say something about shopping?"

"I'm going, but that does not change anything."

With this she turned and left.

Angel leaned back in his chair and pulled out an old picture of Buffy. Xander had taken it at the prom, she had looked so beautiful that night and Angel had been so close to tell her what he felt. He would never forget her face when he told her about his decision to leave Sunnydale.

Sunnydale - five years ago in the sewers

"Buffy, there is something we have to talk about."

"What?" She stopped and looked at him.

"I am going to leave Sunnydale."

"What?" Buffy stood before him in complete shock :" What do you mean, *leave*?"

"I will leave, right after the ascension - if we survive that is."

She stepped back with an expression of hurt and disbelief:

"B-But you cannot leave. Angel, you are my best friend, you always watch my back, you ..."

"I am sorry, but I cannot stay." Seeing her like this broke Angel's heart.

"Did I do something?"

"No... no, Buffy, this has nothing to do with you." Of course it has, he thought, but I cannot tell you, I must not tell you.

"Where will you go?"

"I am not sure, maybe LA."

She nodded:

"Will you phone or write?"

"We will see, maybe."

"There is nothing I can say to change your mind?"

He shook his head:

"No, I am sorry."

She only nodded and turned to hide the tears that were running down her cheeks.

LA - Angel's office - present

Angel snapped out of his thoughts when Wesley knocked and entered:"I just wanted to check when we are leaving for Sunnydale?"

Angel looked at his clock:

"In three hours. We are invited to the party tonight. I am not looking forward to it, but even Giles insisted us in coming. At least it is a private party only for the gang."

Wesley nodded:

"Where is Cordelia?"

"Looking for a dress."

"I see. Angel?"

"Hmmm."

"Are you alright?"

He sighed: "Why on earth is everyone asking me that?!"

Wesley smiled: "Maybe because we are worried about you. You will see her again."

"I know, but I am able to deal with it."

"As the last time."

Angel frowned:

"What do you mean?"

"The last time you saw her. That Thanksgiving when she came for business reasons."

"What do you know about that?"

Wesley rose his hands in defense:

"Nothing, nothing. Cordelia told me you were brooding for months though."Angel sighed:

"That's not true and it is not the same now. It's been a long time we saw each other and she has moved on. She has dated some guys and she has a boyfriend now."

"You are well informed."

"Drop it, dammit," Angel stood up, anger building up in him. Why on earth was everyone so interested in his private affairs?

"Okay. So we are going tonight."

"Tonight."

...

Part 2

Willow looked down at her feet and smiled. The red toe nails looked nice she had to admit. She had never been one for dressing up but Graduation party was special and she wanted to be a good match for Tara who was sitting on her side of the bed, nails red as well. Willow and Tara were a couple for some years now, Oz had decided to come back to Sunnydale one day but Willow was not willing to let him into her life again and she also realised how much love she felt for Tara by then. In their sophomore year Willow, Tara and Buffy had moved out of the dorm and found a nice apartment near to college much to the disappointment of Mrs. Summers who had hoped Buffy would come home again. She had been very possessive of her daughter but since she got married two years ago she was much better. There was a knock at their bedroom door and Willow smiled:

"Come in, Buffy."

The slayer entered with a grin on her face when she saw the picture before her:

"Red toe nails, Will?"

"Yeah. Why not go crazy for one night," the redhead grinned back. Tara only smiled. Willow frowned:

"Why are you here? We thought you were with Riley."

"Riley," Buffy sighed.

"What about him?"

"Nothing ... and everything. He annoys me."

Willow looked at her friend disbelieving:

"I thought you were getting along. I thought," she gazed at Tara "we thought, you liked him."

Buffy sighed again: "I thought so. But somehow we are not getting along. I mean we have some fun, but I always wonder."

"Wonder what?" Tara asked her.

"There must be more, I mean romantic, satisfying, passionate are not the keywords when I am thinking about Riley."

"Is there someone you connect the words to?" Tara asked slyly. Willow stared at her girlfriend, she did not understand what Tara was going for. Buffy's eyes became distant and dreaming when she finally asked: "I had this feeling - once - a long time ago."

"What? When? Who? Why did you never tell me?" Willow said confused.

"What?" Buffy snapped back into reality, shaking her head she said: "I told you about it, Willow."

"You did? I cannot ... oh, OH," the redhead exclaimed finally.

Now it was for Tara to look confused. Buffy explained:

"You never met him, Tara. He ... he was a ... is a friend, I really hope he still is as I did not talk to him for a *long* time. His name is Angel."

Tara smiled: "Oh, I know about him. Willow told me."

Buffy nodded and said: "I invited him to the party and for graduation. But he never called so I do not know if he will come."

"I am sure he'll come," Willow tried to comfort her friend.

"I truly hope so. I know there are no romantic feelings on his side, but I miss my friend."

******

When she heard a knock on the door Jenny Giles went to open it and smiled when she saw the visitors:

"Angel, Cordelia, Wesley, nice to see you."

The three of them smiled back at her and followed her into the house. Since Jenny and Rupert had been married four years ago they had moved into a bigger house. Giles had been reluctant to give up his apartment but finally gave in when Jenny became pregnant a year after the wedding. Little Arthur was three by now and playing on a blanket in the living room when the guests entered. Giles was sitting beside his son and looked up when he heard voices at the door:

"Angel, good to see you."

Angel nodded and shook Giles' hand who got up in the process. Surprised and confused he gazed at the man in front of him: "What happened?"

Angel sighed: "It's a long story."

"I bet. You are warm, Angel. I mean your hand is warm and it is still daylight outside. Would you explain?"

"I am human, Giles. I am no vampire anymore."

Giles' eyes widened in disbelief when he saw Cordelia and Wesley nodding their heads behind the ex-vampire. Wesley explained:

"It was a prophecy, Mr. Giles. Actually we found out some years ago, that there was a possibility he might become human and all of a sudden it happened."

Giles was still in shock but managed to ask: "When?"

"Only a week ago," Angel answered.

"Angel was fighting two very ugly, slimy demons. He looked dreadful when he returned to the office. Then sleep, next morning. heartbeat. End of story." Cordelia explained in typical fashion. Angel rolled his eyes at her:

"Thank you Cordy. But this is the short version."

Giles nodded: "I see. So you just woke up and were ... human."

"Sort of. I asked the Oracles about it and they said it was my gift, that I had earned it."

"The Oracles ... they are real?"

"They are. We are quite familiar with them."

"Oh, yeah and can I just say it sucks." Cordelia walked over and sat down beside Giles' son.

The former watcher shook his head and said: "What?"

Angel smiled: "Cordelia gets visions from them. She kinda ... inherited them. However her visions are my connections to them. I was their warrior."

"Oh I see, a warrior of the light. I have read about this."

"Darling, business again," Jenny said when she entered the room carrying a tray with tea and cake. Putting it on the table she looked around: "I hope everyone wants tea and cake. It will be some hours until the party."

When all of them were seated around the table in the living room, Giles spoke again: "You really have to tell me more about this, Angel. It is fascinating."

"I can do that, but maybe later."

"Later is good. Because it already gives me a headache talking about the subject." Cordelia took a sip from her cup and rolled her eyes :" And there are more important things. Where will the party be?"

"At Buffy's house, I mean at her mother's. Joyce and Frank, he is Joyce's husband, are staying in New York until tomorrow morning and so the house is empty. They will come back for the official graduation ceremony though." Giles eat a piece of his cake and continued: "I am really glad this will only be a small party, it was a relief when they decided to have a private thing. There are a lot of frat parties going on tonight and I would not looking forward to one of these."

"Who will be there?" Cordelia was anxious to know.

"Well, Buffy, Xander, Willow, Oz, Tara, she is Willow's ... err ... friend."

Jenny put a hand on her husband's and smiled: "Tara is Willow's girlfriend. They are lesbians."

Cordelia nearly choked in her tea and Wesley patted her back: "They are what? Willow? Sweet little Willow? Why did nobody tell me that? I mean we phone or e-mail from time to time but they never told me that."

Jenny shrugged: "I do not see why this is important. They love each other."

Cordelia only shook her head: "It is important. I thought Oz was back."

"He was and still is, but I think Willow was not able to forgive him, he hurt her a lot and inbetween she had fallen in love with Tara. I have to admit they are a cute couple."

"Okay, fine, a cute couple. Oh these mental pictures give me nightmares for months. So who else will be at the party?"

Giles thought for a moment: "Anya will be there, she and Xander are quite serious now and Riley of course."

"Buffy's boy-toy," Cordelia stated matter-of-factly shooting Angel a look. He did not change his expression when he said: "Of course she will bring her boyfriend."

"Of course," Giles said : "You have never met him, have you? He is ... well, he is nice, though I never really understood what she sees in him. Nevermind, he was ... is a sort of demon-hunter. I told you about the Initiative?" He looked at Angel, who nodded.

"Talking about Buffy, " Jenny said :"Does she know about that?"

"You mean about me being human? No, she doesn't. Jenny, I have not talked to her in over four years."

"She really misses you, Angel. She was very sad when you left and she had a hard time after she went to LA to see you. She had dreams and nightmares for quite some time."

Angel's head shot up in alarm: "Nightmares?"

"Yes. She never told us about, but Willow could hear her crying in her sleep. It stopped about a year ago."

"I see," the former vampire only answered, but deep inside of him an alarming voice would not stop shouting.

...

Part 3

Buffy frowned looking around the large living room of her mother's and step-father's house. She was glad they had allowed her to held the party there. She had insisted on having a private celebration with Riley being angry at the beginning as he had been looking forward to the party in his new frat house. But the slayer had long ago decided to invite Angel as she knew he would not refuse an invitation for something as important as graduation from college, but true as this she also knew that he would have never want to go to a frat party. After their meeting at Thanksgiving all these years ago they had not spoken again. Buffy had never quite understood what caused this. After he left Sunnydale he had written a letter from time to time but after her visit to LA he had cut the contact immediately. She had tried to phone him but he was never there or that she was told. She was not able to believe this anymore and had to accept that he was not interested in talking to her. It had hurt her more than she could say. Especially after she had realised she was in love with him. Deeper and more serious than she had ever thought. She cursed herself for being so stupid to realise this when he was already gone. Of course he was a vampire, of course there were worlds between them but the kisses - oh these kisses - they had shared so long ago had been beyond imagination. Like electricity streaming through her body, like the world faded away and nothing was important than being together. He had told her they could not be together like that and rationally she understood but the feelings were a different matter. But then after he had refused to talk to her she had to move on somehow. She had dated some nice guys for a short time and then she had met Riley. He had been sweet and thoughtful and he seemed to love her. And as a surprise it had appeared he was a demon-hunter and she had no reason to hide her identity from him which was release. After the Initiative had been destroyed Riley left town for a while and Buffy was single again. He had returned a year ago and somehow they came together again. The slayer was never sure why. As she had told Willow and Tara before her feelings for Riley weren't passionate but he was nice and it was better to go to parties with a boyfriend. But Buffy felt bad deep inside of her, she had the feeling of using him because his feelings obviously were deeper. She had realised how disappointed he was that she would not have sex with him, to calm him she had told him she had decided to marry as a virgin. She was a horrible liar but he seemed to believe it, make it for his country origin, maybe farm-girls in Iowa would marry as virgins Buffy wondered.

"Do you think everything is ready?" came a voice from behind and an arm slipped around her waist. She turned her head and saw Riley smiling beside her.

"I think. It looks good, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. Cosy," he whispered: "made for couples in love." He lowered his head and gave her a soft kiss on the mouth. Buffy pulled back:

"I am sorry to interrupt this but I have to look for the food and drinks."

A flicker of disappointment was in his eyes but after a second it was gone and he said: "Can I help?"

"You could bring all the plates from the kitchen over here," she pointed to the table she had moved to the corner so there was enough room left for some slow dancing. He nodded and disappeared in the kitchen when Buffy heard a knock at the front door. Gladly she invited Tara and Willow in, both in black skirts and red shirts and of course with red finger and toe nails. Buffy laughed it really looked funny. Willow looked around: "Wow. This looks good. You did all by yourself?"

"I helped." Riley came from the kitchen two plates in his hands and went over to put them on the table, then heading for the kitchen again.

"He helped and Xander. Well, Xander did most of the furniture moving," Buffy explained :" I could have done that myself but he insisted on it. So who am I to hurt a man's honour."

The three of them laughed. Willow leaned over to her friend and whispered: "I talked to Giles on the phone. He is there."

Buffy looked at her and a wide genuine smile appeared on her face.

"I would hope that is for me," Riley said when he brought the last plates.

"What?" the slayer asked confused.

"The smile, it was the most wonderful smile I have ever seen in you."

"Oh," Buffy slightly blushed, Tara and Willow exchanged a knowing look.

"Shall I bring the bottles and glasses as well?" Riley asked.

"Yes, that would be wonderful," Buffy gave him a smile as well, but it was not the same Willow noticed at once. She had always known Buffy had a crush onAngel and personally she had never understood what was the problem. Her romantic nature saw no problem in dating a vampire, he was a good vampire and he was ever so handsome. Another knock on the door disturbed her thoughts and Buffy went to answer it. She opened the door and her heart skipped a beat. There he was, dressed in black as always, handsome as always. She cleared her throat and smiled:" Hi."

And then it happened, he smiled back, how she had missed that smile and these eyes, deep as the ocean although they had changed somehow Buffy could not really explain.

"Can we come in or do we have to party here which would be bad because in the darkness nobody could see my new robe and I bought it especially."

"Hi Cordy," Buffy said to her friend :" So please do come in, all of you."

When Angel entered his hand touched her arm for a second and there it was again that shock of electricity, she looked at Angel but his face showed no emotions.

Behind him, Cordelia, Wesley, Giles, Jenny and their little son entered the house. Arthur smiled at Buffy:

"Hi," he said looking at her with his big blue eyes. He simply adored the slayer.

"Arthur," Buffy exclaimed, clapping her hands, then opening her arms to pick him up. He laughed and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

*

Angel was overwhelmed by her presence. God she was so beautiful, she wasn't a girl anymore but an attractive young woman. He was barely able to look at anyone or anything but her. And seeing her with the little boy took his breath away, he smiled thinking about this. It was nice to feel like a human being.

"It's so good to see you," a voice came from beside him. When he looked down he saw Willow's smiling face. He smiled back: "The same here. It's ... like coming home."

Willow nodded and exchanged another look with Tara, both of them had seen the way Angel had looked at Buffy. Willow mouthed 'see I told you' at her girlfriend who nodded in response. When they heard a slight cough from the doorway they turned round to see Riley standing there. Buffy looked at him:

"Oh, sorry. You don't know each other, these are Angel, Cordelia and Mr. Pryce from Los Angeles and this is Riley."

"Buffy's boyfriend," he added smiling at the three guests. Willow did not miss the annoyed look on Buffy's face at his announcement.

The next guests to come were Xander and Anya. Xander grinned when he saw who was already there:"Hi everybody, and dead-boy you haven't changed at all."

Everyone shook his head at his words, to Buffy's surprise Angel only grinned. But Riley was completely confused:"Don't you think this is a strange nickname?"

"Why? I always thought it fits for a vampire," Xander said smiling good-naturedly.

Riley's eyes widened in shock when he glared at Angel: "A vampire? He is a vampire?"

Buffy nodded, but was taken aback when Cordelia only said: "Was would be the correct term."

Five heads shot around, Angel gave her a look but she grinned enjoying the moment beyond everything. She knew something her friends didn't: "He is no vampire anymore."

Buffy's thought she would faint when she finally managed to ask: "Care to explain?"

"I became human. A week ago," Angel's soft voice came from behind her.

"Human? You are human, as in breathing-heartbeat-eating-food-human?" Buffy was still in complete shock. Angel nodded:

"Yes. It was a prophecy we found some years ago. And it became true."

"Wow," Willow said :"This is good, isn't it. I mean you are happy to be human because I would be. You are happy, aren't you?"

Angel smiled: "I am. Very." His voice became deep and his eyes rested on Buffy for a moment.

"Dead boy isn't dead boy anymore."

"Why does it surprise you. I am not a demon anymore."

"I know sweetheart but I never knew you as a demon, on the other hand he was always deadboy for me. It will be hard to digest."

(AN: I leave it to you to discover who was speaking ... grin.)

Suddenly the telephone rang and Buffy went to answer it, when she came back she announced: "Oz will come later. He has some things to do first. So, what are we waiting for, let's start." She pointed to the table with food and drinks and walked over to Angel:

"So, human, hmm?"

"Yeah."

"How does it feel?"

"Different."

"I bet."

"Yeah, first of all there are things I nearly forgot like a rumbling stomach or sweating or other things."

Buffy smiled, she had seen the first minute that something was different in him, now she realised that his whole attitude was lighter and easier. She would bet he had smiled more the last minutes than he had in the years they spent together.

"Your boyfriend seems nice," he stated

"What? Oh, Riley, he is alright."

Angel quirked an eyebrow: "Alright?"

Buffy sighed: "He is nice okay, can we skip the subject?"

He grinned: "Are you angry with him?"

Her head shot up: "What?" He had done it again, he had seen what was going on in her at once. She had never been able to hide anything from him.

"I can see it. Why are you angry?"

She shrugged: "Nothing really important."

He laughed, Buffy could not believe it. Angel laughed and she loved it, it sounded nice, oh how she loved this sound. She really hoped she would hear this more open but then how could that be, he would leave after the graduation - again, going back to LA. Buffy could feel the electricity in her body only standing next to him, it was the familiar feeling, the feeling she had missed so much these last years. Maybe he missed me she thought and almost unconsciously said: "I missed you."

His face became serious, his eyes suddenly darker than normal when he answered: "I missed you too."

"But then why would you not answer my phone calls, why, Angel? I thought we were friends but all of a sudden you closed up from us ... me."

He closed his eyes for a moment: "It's complicated, a long story."

"I am free tonight."

"Buffy this is your party in your house."

She rolled her eyes: "And? Giles can be the one in charge for some time. Do you want to go for a walk?"

He was discussing this shortly in his mind, but then threw all doubts out of the window: "I would love to."

She nodded: "I meet you outside in five minutes."

******

"We could switch one or two graveyards if you don't mind. Giles gave me the night off but maybe it's worth a try," Buffy said.

Angel nodded: "It's fine with me."

So they headed for the first cemetery, everything was quiet, it was a nice summer night, warm and pleasant. Buffy cleared her throat and asked: "So are you going to tell the story now?"

"I don't know. I am not sure it is a good idea anymore," he replied averting his eyes. She stepped closer:

"But you said..."

"I said nothing, you were just assuming I would tell you the story."

"Oh, fine," her voice sounding angry and hurt : "I thought we were friends, but then you've already proved that our friendship is worth nothing." With this she turned round and stomped away. Only for a short distance when a strong hand grabbed her arm and forced her to turn round:

"It is not true. Our friendship means everything to me, everything," he yelled.

Buffy looked up and was taken aback by the pain apparent in his eyes. But she was not able to soften her voice now, so she shouted back: "But why would you not talk to me anymore, why did you shut me out of your life?"

As if it was suddenly to painful to face her, Angel turned his back on her, his voice was hoarse when he answered: "It was to hard, Buffy. I could not do it anymore, not after...," He broke off suddenly realising what he had been about to tell her.

"After what?"

He only shook his head, still not facing her: "I cannot tell you, Buffy. I cannot, but even if I would you would not believe me."

"Try me."

He turned round to see her standing before him, hands at her hips and waiting for, no demanding an answer. But could he do it, could he answer her question. It was true she deserved an answer but he was not sure if he would be able to deal with her reaction. But then on the other hand she was hurting because of his behaviour towards her. He took a deep breath locking his eyes with hers: "Your remember when I told you that I was cursed with my soul," he began. When she nodded he continued: "There was more to this curse I had known at the beginning. There was a clause attached to it. It said that if I would find a moment of true happiness I would loose my soul. So I was living with the threat the demon would gain control over my body and by no means I was willing to risk that. I had to live with all the memories of my early deeds and I would not let this happen again."

"Why did they do it?"

"I do not know. Maybe to make it harder, maybe to torture me. Oh, I am not complaining, I certainly earned all of it, but I do not really know the explanation. Constantly I was wondering what a true-happiness-moment could be, until ... until I met you."

"Me?" she whispered without understanding.

"Yes, you. I was a miserable homeless man before I met you, protecting you made my life less worthless."

"But your life was never worthless," she protested.

"That is not the point. The fact was I felt better being around you, doing something that was important, that would help people and not endanger them. But I never, " he took another deep breath and Buffy could see he was searching for the right words: "Being around you made me feel happy, I felt less depressed, my heart was less aching and I realised how dangerous this could be for the clause in my curse."

"But Angel, that has nothing to do with true happiness. Feeling better has nothing to do with true happiness," Buffy could still not understand.

"No, but falling in love could." His eyes were still resting on hers, she whispered: "Falling in love? What do you mean?"

"You, I mean falling in love with you," he whispered with a trembling voice.

"You...you fell in love with me? When?"

"The day you were called, when you were shown to me on the steps of your school in LA."

"Oh god," she whispered and turned away from. None of them did speak a word for some minutes. Buffy was to confused to think straight, he had been in love with her? The same time he knew about the curse and for that how forbidden this love was, how dangerous it could be. She took a deep breath and faced him again:

"But you managed to be my friend nevertheless. What changed? I mean you left, why?"

"It became to strong. I was not sure I could resist you any longer, telling you about my feelings, so it was better to leave, to bring some distance between us."

She looked at him and suddenly she thought she understood: "And it helped right?"

Now Angel was confused: "What helped? What do you mean?"

"The distance. When we met in LA you realised the love was gone and you did not need me in your life anymore."

Buffy nearly screamed from the pain when his hands grabbed her arms roughly, his eyes showing more pain and desperation than ever and he shouted: "No. You do not understand, I only realised that I loved you more than anything, but after making love to you, holding you that day it was to hard, to painful being near you..." he suddenly stopped, shocked by the words that had escaped his mouth unwillingly. Buffy's expression was not less confused:

"Making love to me? What are you talking about, we never made love."

Angel took a deep breath and tried to control his voice, he failed miserably:

"You do not remember. You are not meant to remember. The day was erased. I was human on that day."

"Erased? Who could do such a thing?"

"The Powers That Be, they are like god, they are in charge of the fate, the future."

Suddenly Buffy's eyes widened, her hand flew to her mouth, then she whispered:"The dreams, oh God, the dreams I had. They were no dreams, they were memories. Oh God, Angel, I dreamed about that day. You told me you loved me and we slept together ... I remember your face, you were so happy, so relaxed," a sad smile crept up her face, but it was fading quickly: "and you gave it back, you gave it back for me. Oh God." She was not able to stop the tears anymore, they were running down her cheeks. She reached out for his face and stroke his cheek: "I told you I loved you."

He nodded, tears in his eyes as well: "You did."

She shook her head to clear her mind: "Do you still? Do you still love me?"

"Yes, I do," Angel said. He had decided some minutes ago that only the truth would help both of them to go on with their lives, but he was not prepared for her answer:

"Me too." His world stopped, he was not able to see anything, feel anything. He was completely lost in Buffy's eyes. She smiled a little bit:

"Are you okay?"

"I ... I'm fine. I just ... didn't expect that."

She laughed a bit nervously:

"Talk about not expecting this. I certainly did not expect that when I invited you for a walk."

Now he was able to smile, but became serious at once: "What are we going to do now?"

"I do not know. I only know ... I would try to ... would love... gods ... could we try to be together? I mean you are human now, there is no curse anymore," she stopped and asked: "There is not curse anymore?"

"No, there is not. But what about your boyfriend?"

"Yeah, good question, Buffy, what about me?"

Buffy and Angel spun round to see Riley standing behind them.

...

Part 4

Willow looked at her watch and gave a concerned glance to Tara:"They've been gone for a while."

"How long?"

"Nearly an hour."

Tara scanned the room with her eyes: "And Riley is missing," she said.

Willow's eyes widened: "This is not good, this is definitely not good."

********

"She is in love with him," Anya took a sip from her coke and stroke Xander's arm absentmindly. His head spun around: "Who, what?"

"Buffy, she is in love with the tall, dark, handsome."

"Deadboy," Xander's face showed confusion :"Why do you think that?"

"Oh, Xander. I was a revenge demon for thousand years, I can see if a woman is in love or not. And she is and who would not understand, he is so hot."

Xander quirked an eyebrow: "You think he is hot?"

Anya nodded: "Of course he is."

"What about me?"

"You're hot too."

"That's it, that's all? I am hot too," Xander said slightly hurt.

She smiled and took his hand: "I still like my orgasms with you, you know. But I have eyes and it is not as if you would not see a pretty girl when you meet it."

Xander heard a giggle behind him. Noticing Cordelia with a huge grin on her face he turned deep red which made his ex-girlfriend burst out in laughter. Xander shook his head and turned back to his present love: "Anya, I think this is not a subject for a public conversation, you know."

"Don't be so childish Xander, everyone knows we are having sex."

Xander took a deep breath and tried to ignore the laughter in his back. He stood up and walked over to the CD-player, starting some slow music. When he turned round Cordelia was still holding a hand over her mouth.

******

Buffy gasped in shock and felt suddenly weak. She grabbed for Angel's hand and he slipped and arm round her waist to comfort her: "Riley," she whispered: "What are you doing here?"

"You were gone for a while so I thought it was a good idea checking on you, after all this is still Sunnydale and it is night," he answered, his arms still crossed in front of his chest: "And I am glad I did come here right in time."

Regaining some control Buffy straightened: "Meaning?"

He stepped closer, glaring for a moment at Angel then returning his attention to his girlfriend: "Aren't you supposed to be my girlfriend?" When Buffy gave no answer he continued: "Is it true?", seeing her confused look he asked: "Are you in love with him?"

Buffy lowered her gaze, then took a short look at Angel who smiled at her reassuringly, and answered: "Yes, I am. I am sorry, Riley. I wanted to tell you in private."

He let out a short pained laugh: "And this would make it better? Saying it in private? When did you plan telling me you lied to me all the time, Buffy? When?"

"Lied to you? When did I lie to you?" she asked not understanding his words.

"Come on, we know each other for a while and you are still holding me on the long arm, refusing having sex with me because you wanted to marry as a virgin while you were fucking a vampire," his voice was loud and accusing now and the last words were shouted in pure disgust.

"I am really sorry...", Buffy began, then the words hit her and anger was building inside of her: "You were following us, weren't you? And you overheard the whole conversation, you were spying on us. Well, that really shows your trust in me, doesn't it?"

"And I was right. God, I was such a fool, trying to be kind and understanding. I thought you were shy and pure and all the time you were laughing behind my back."

"I was not laughing behind your back," Buffy said trying to calm down :" and if you heard all the conversation you know that I did not remember the day with Angel."

"Oh, and that makes it better," he yelled again :"but you were with me when you jumped in bed with him, you had no problems losing your virginity with him, you slutty bitch."

"Now, that's enough," came Angel's angry voice.

"You stay out of this," Riley shouted back: "This is none of your business, this is between me and my ... and this person."

Angel was about to say something when he felt Buffy's hand on his arm, when he looked at her she shook her head. So he took a deep - now necessary - breath and kept his mouth shut. Buffy turned her attention back to Riley: "As I said before, I am sorry for this, the way I treated you. I am aware I was leading you on, in a way, but I really liked you..."

"Liked me. Now I feel flattered and it makes up for all the nights I stayed lonely while I wanted to have sex with you."

"Is this all you are thinking about. Sex? Maybe you should have tried to hit on Anya then." Buffy knew he was hurting but his words had been harsh and she could not help but give him such a sarcastic reply.

"Thanks for your compassion. You know I had a girlfriend when I was back in Iowa for the two years and she wanted to have sex with me. Thinking I let her go for you - it just sounds ridiculous."

"Then why don't you take your ass and hurry back to her?"

"Buffy," came Angel's warning voice from behind and Buffy calmed down immediately. She again focused on Riley: "Again, I am really sorry, but obviously that means nothing to you. It seems we cannot part as friends, so why don't you just leave us alone."

Riley glared at her for a last time, turned round and stomped away. When he was out of sight, Buffy suddenly felt weak and would have fallen if Angel's strong arms had not supported her. She looked up at him: "I am sorry," she laughed : "it seems I am saying this often tonight."

He smiled at her: "I am sorry too. I never wanted to cause you trouble, it was the reason I left in the first place."

"You have nothing to do with this," Buffy answered, straightening up again: "he was hurt and I was the reason for this. So he had a right to be angry."

Angel shook his head: "But he had no right to talk to you like that. He behaved like a brat, his words were harsh."

"Yes, they were. But on the other hand I am glad it is over. I was not looking forward talking to him," she suddenly grinned : "I told him I love you, did you hear that?"

He grinned back: "I did."

"So what are we going to do with this now?" she asked smiling seductively.

"Maybe we could start with this," he answered lowering his lips to hers and capturing them in a kiss that began sweet but soon became passionate. Buffy felt as if she was flying, this was the kiss she remembered all these years ago at her bedroom window. When they had to come up for air both were panting heavily, suddenly she let out a giggle, seeing his quirked eyebrows she said: "I was expecting you to vamp out, that's all."

He laughed out loud: "Not going to happen, my beauty."

"My beauty," she repeated : "I love that, it sounds nice. Do you really think I am a beauty?"

"Of course. You are the most beautiful woman in the world for me," he stated, his eyes full of love.

"You know, this is somewhat unreal, I mean, you just came back to Sunnydale and after all these years we just know we loved each other from the very beginning."

His head shot up in surprise: "What did you say?"

"From the very beginning, Angel, I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you in that alley. I did not realise it then but I know now. Why do you think I never slept with one of my boyfriends, not even with Riley. I was always hoping you would be the first," she blushed slightly : "You know. Only to realise now, that you already were the one."

He smiled: "Well, technically you are still a virgin, Buffy. The day was erased, so it never happened, although I have all the memories. They were just given to me to prevent it from happening again."

She gently stroked his cheek: "To think you were carrying all these memories on your own, it must have been so hard."

Angel closed his eyes for a moment, remembering the pain he had felt afterwards: "It was. I was like a ghost for months, knowing what we could have had. Actually it was Cordelia who was able to bring me back into the real world. She is a good friend."

"I am glad they were with you, Cordelia and Wesley, I mean. They are good for you."

He nodded: "They are. Buffy," his voice suddenly serious again: "what are we going to do now? I mean, with us. I have the agency in LA and you cannot leave Sunnydale."

She grinned: "Actually I can."

"You can?" his voice full of disbelief.

"I am graduating from college tomorrow. This means I am released from my duties as a slayer. Giles might have told you that I came to terms with the coucil again. They wrote a letter to me some weeks ago, to inform me I was free to choose if I wanted to go on with slaying or quit after graduation."

"What happens if you quit?"

"Then Kendra will take over. You remember Kendra?"

"Of course I do. So, what will you do?"

"I was thinking, you know. How about a new employée at your agency, your own private slayer? I could take care of the demons and vampires in LA, you do have them, don't you?"

Angel laughed: "Yes, we do. So you are offering your service to me," he said with a wicked grin.

"Yes, Sir," she answered and blushed immediately: "I mean... I wanted to say..."

He kissed her gently and smiled: "I know, what you meant, dear. I would love to have you there. And we could date for a while before...", his voice trailed off.

Now it was her term to grin wickedly: "Oh, I would not go that far. I mean, you told me about that erased day, but I would prefer a practical demonstration some time soon."

"Good," he simply answered and offered his hand which she took: "we should go to your house, they will miss us."

She nodded and together they went back.

...

Part 5

When they returned to the house most of the gang was engaged in dancing so they did not even see the couple coming back. Except Cordelia, she had been watching the door all the time eager to be the first to get any news. When she saw the entwined hands she grinned and came over to them: "Can I say I knew it all the time?"

Buffy grinned back while Angel shot her a look, she laughed: "Come on, Angel, I am not blind." Now Angel smiled back. Cordelia turned to Buffy once more: "Riley left," she said.

Buffy nodded: "Yeah, we already know. He followed us and kinda overheard our conversation."

"Seeing you now may I just say ooops."

"It was not something I want to do again, but I am glad it is over. I mean, I would have broken up with him, I even decided that before Angel came, but somehow it is easier after he behaved the way he did," Buffy sighed.

"Bad, hm?" Cordelia laid one hand on Buffy's arm and Angel answered in her place:" You can say that. He is a brat."

"It's okay, Angel. I am fine, really," Buffy smiled at him and squeezed his hand slightly. He relaxed immediately. Cordelia took her other hand and patted Angel's arm: "Now why don't you two just dance and enjoy. After all it is a graduation party, a big thing and you also give some nice comments about my robe." She smiled once more, then turned and took the hand of a stunned Wesley to pull him to dance.

Angel looked at Buffy: "May I have this dance?"

"With pleasure."

They had just reached the dance floor when the front door open and shut. Buffy's head shot up and turned to see her mother and step-father standing in the door of the living room. Joyce saw her daughter, came over to her and smiled: "Honey, I do not want to disturb your party, but we had to come earlier as they canceled the early flight tomorrow and by no means I would miss your Graduation." With this she hugged her daughter, then she realised there was standing someone beside her. She gasped: "What..."

Buffy laid a hand on her mother's arm: "Mom, you remember Angel?"

Her mother was still to much in shock to say anything so she only nodded. After a minute she said: "Aren't you, I mean, isn't he a ..."

"He was, mom."

"Was? What do you mean?" Joyce face showed confusion.

"He is human, mom and we are ... err ... we are together."

"WHAT?" Joyce yelled and it made everyone turn their heads towards the three persons in the room. When Buffy's mother realised the attention she lowered her voice: "And where is Riley?"

"We broke up," Buffy stated matter-of-factly.

Joyce looked back to the door sending a pleading look to her husband who came over at once. Frank took her hand and greeted Buffy with a smile, then he asked: "Is there something I can help with?"

His wife nodded: "In fact there is. Our daughter just broke up with her boyfriend."

Frank quirked his eyebrows: "And this is a problem?"

Buffy smiled at him gratefully, he was always so calm and rational.

"The problem is," Joyce explained :"he," she pointed at Angel :"He is her new boyfriend."

Frank looked at his wife then at Angel and back to Joyce: "He looks nice and obviously your daughter cares for him, so I do not understand. Joyce, she is old enough."

"He is not normal, I mean he might be now, but for a long while he was a vampire."

Angel's eyes widened when he turned his gaze to Frank but he did not seem impressed so he obviously was informed about Buffy's secret identity. The older man looked at Angel and asked: "Do you love her?"

"I do, very much, sir," Angel answered with a smile that made Buffy smiling at him immediately. Frank smiled back and slipped a hand round his wife's waist: "Come on, Joyce, you are tired. We should talk about that tomorrow and leave the young people to themselves. He again smiled at Angel and Buffy and pulled his wife up to their bedroom.

"He seems nice," Angel stated.

"He is and he likes you, well who could not," Buffy said taking a step closer to him and bringing her lips only an inch in front of his. Angel grinned: "Yeah, who could not?" With this he caught her lips in a kiss that became passionate very soon.

"Oh my god," came Willow's exclaim from behind and made the lover's jump. Both had a rapid breathing when they turned to the red-head. "Willow," Buffy exclaimed: "don't do that. I thought my heart would stop."

Her friend grinned widely: "But that is just, I mean ... you guys. I always knew it."

Angel rolled his eyes: "Everyone seems to have known that tonight."

Buffy giggled: "It seems, but hell, who minds."

"Where is Riley?" Willow wanted to know.

"Gone for good. Well not really good, he was mad actually. He followed us and ... he heard when we were talking. It's fair to say he did not like it, he did not like it at all."

"Poor Riley, "Willow felt with the boy. He had been so in love with Buffy.

"Don't pity him, Willow," Angel said, still angry how Riley had treated his love: "he behaved in a way he does not earn any compassion."

"So the Buffster has dumped fishboy. It was about time," grinned Xander who had heard the last part of the conversation: "I never liked him."

"That's because you were jealous, Xander," Willow said.

"Hey, why would my boyfriend be jealous? He has no time to be jealous, he needs his energy for me."

Xander rolled his eyes and the others laughed. He gave them an annoyed look: "I was not jealous. Okay I once had a crush on Buffy but I am over it. However the boy is an ass, I mean come on all this hostile-talk at the beginning and this clinging on Buffy who was not at all interested." Everyone shot him a look and he exclaimed: "Everyone could see that. She never had this look in her eyes."

"This look?" Buffy questioned.

Xander grinned at Angel: "This look, yes. The one you had for Dead-Boy, sorry I mean Angel."

"Thanks," the former vampire said.

Xander grinned again and nodded at him.

"And you are together now?" Willow finally asked.

"Yeah," Buffy said: "we are." She reached out and stroked Angel's cheek, he smiled at her and bowed down to kiss her forehead.

Suddenly Buffy turned round: "Where is Giles?"

"He left about twenty minutes ago, said he was tired. Personally I think he was annoyed by the kissing going on and Arthur started to fuss." Willow said.

"Well, then we have to tell him tomorrow," Buffy shrugged.

"Tell him what tomorrow?"

"I am leaving Sunnydale, Willow. I am moving to LA, with Angel."

...

Part 6

Willow's diary

I cannot believe it is the day of our Graduation from college. It seems like yesterday when we were 16 and at high school. I remember Buffy coming to Sunnydale and changing all our lives, before this I always thought vampires were some sort of a fairy tale, well not a fairy tale but not real anyway. Now I know better. I was afraid first but now I am glad I know, it is better than to be ignorant. At least you know what could happen.

I also remember the first time I saw Angel. None of us knew he was a vampire then, he was always so nice and gentle, he saved our lives more than once. I knew from the very first day he was in love with Buffy and never quite understood why he was behaving so distant to her when his eyes gave him away. Only Buffy did not notice and Xander, but that was no surprise. And now he is back, Angel I mean. And he is human. It's one of the miracles which only happen on the Hellmouth and this time it is a good one. I am so happy they are both together, it is like a fairy tale although I am sad at the same time because Buffy wants to leave Sunnydale. I have to go now, get ready for the ceremony, will write more later.

******

Buffy blinked when her alarm clock blared at eight in the morning. Groaning she reached out and turned it off. Stretching her arms and legs she yawned, it was to early. The evening had been long and eventful. She grimaced when Riley came back to her mind. Then she remembered Angel and smiled at once, jumped out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. Some things in your life can be very refreshing.

******

"Angel are you up already?" Cordelia called from the hall of the mansion. The former vampire sighed and pulled the covers over his head when he heard a noise at his door. He looked up: "Cordy, it is to early, go away."

She shook her head disapprovingly: "Come on today is her big day, you do not want to miss it, do you?"

He sighed: "No. Alright, alright, I am coming. How long have you been up?"

"Half an hour, Make Up needs time, you know women are not born pretty, it's all a matter of skill and the right utensils." With these words she turned and Angel crawled out of his bed, laughing heartily.

******

"Oz never showed up yesterday," Tara said casually while she got dressed.

"I saw it," was Willow's answer: "I wonder what happened. I tried to call him tough but got only his answering machine."

Tara came over to her girlfriend and touched her arm: "You still care for him, that is okay Willow. He is an important part in your life, he was your first lover. I am fine with that."

"Are you really?" Willow looked at her skeptically. "Sometimes I wonder if it is fair to be with you. I still have feelings for him, it's not that I am thinking to cheat on you, but somehow I still love him, maybe I always will."

Tara smiled at her understandingly: "I would not love you the way I do if it was different. It only shows how wonderful you are," she kissed her on the cheek.

"I do not deserve you, Tara, but I love you anyway."

******

"I cannot understand how you can be so calm, Frank."

Frank Chambers took another sip of his morning coffee and looked at his wife: "Joyce, please calm down. Your daughter is a grown up woman who graduates from college today. She is able to make her own decisions and if she is in love with that Angel-guy so be it. And by the way: I like him, he seems honest and he loves her, I can tell."

Joyce sighed: "It's of no use talking to you. I have to speak to Hank. He will be here in half an hour, maybe he is able to talk some sense into our daughter's head." She shot her husband a glare and left the kitchen. She really loved him but he could be so ... oh, men!

******

"Xander, you look ridiculous."

"I do not."

"You do."

"Why are you saying that, Anya. This is my best suit."

"It still looks ridiculous. Look at you, it is to small, it is to tight."

"Would you like me better in jeans?"

"Well at least they would fit."

Xander sighed, he knew she was right, but the hell he would show her, he would never live that down. He could punch himself for not trying the suit before, of course if he had thought only for one minute he might have guessed it had to be to tight. The thing was five years old, he had worn it for the prom. But there was no going back now, no way he was going to wear jeans on Buffy's and Willow's graduation.

******

"When will Angel be here to get you?" Willow asked her friend at the breakfast table.

"In ten minutes. Oh Will, I am so thrilled. We are graduating from College and I am with him, he will be there. It's like a dream. I am still afraid I will wake up and nothing was real."

Tara smiled: "It is true. Otherwise we are all dreaming."

"Yeah," Buffy sighed happily. "It is true. Oh I love him, god, I love him so much."

"We know, everyone can see that. Now more than ever." Willow grinned.

Buffy suddenly frowned: "I really fear the after-graduation-reception though. Mom will be there and ... Dad, hopefully ... and Giles and he does not know anything of my plans to go to LA."

"Are you sure of this?"

"Yeah, Will, I am. It might look spontaneous but the truth is it is not. Well in one way it is, but being with Angel like ... like this, was something that I was having in my mind for so long now."

"Buffy, I am really happy for you, you know," the red-head said "but you have not seen each other for a long time. I mean you do not really know each other anymore, how do you know if it is right?"

"It just know it. And I am not rushing into things. I am not going to live with him ... now ... I hope to convince my father to stay with him for a while. Angel and I do not want to rush, we want to date, see each other, know each other," she grinned: "then marry and live happily ever after."

"Buffy," Willow said looking serious.

The slayer frowned: "I hear you, mom. Willow, I am totally aware that we have been separated for a while and that there is a lot we have to talk about, but we love each other and we will find a way to make it work. We find a way. When you love someone it is of no matter what obstacles are in your way. You live only once and you have to make the best of it."

Willow nodded and smiled sadly at her, she closed her eyes for a moment. When Tara saw it she tried to hide the tears that were burning behind her lashes.

The door bell rang and Buffy went to open it. Angel stood there and oh god he looked gorgeous. He smiled: "Hi my beauty, did you sleep tight?"

"I did," she answered, stepping on to him and putting her arms around his neck: "I was dreaming of you," she whispered and kissed him. He responded at once, but they were disturbed by Willow clearing her throat. Angel looked up and grinned: "Hi Willow, good to see you. Tara," he added nodding at the blonde standing behind the witch. Tara nodded back. Angel looked at his watch: "So are you ready, you three? I think it is time to go."

*****

"Miss Summers." The man on the stage said and Buffy stepped forward. Angel had only eyes for her. She looked just lovely in her summer dress, her eyes were sparkling. He had been so concentrated on her the whole time that he had been able to overlook Joyce Summer's disapproving gaze resting on him from time to time. It would have bothered him some years ago, but Buffy was a grown up woman now, she was able to make her own decisions and he was human. Sure he was not the regular human boyfriend, but there was no curse and he could do all the normal things with her now, take her on picnics, go swim, take her out for lunch. And she loved him, god, she loves me he thought. I cannot believe it, it is just unreal. That wonderful person loves me, despite all the things that were going on in my life or un-life. She just loves me the way I am now. I am really blessed. He startled when he felt a hand on his arm:

"You have such a goofy grin on your face, it makes me nauseous."

He sighed: "Cordelia, that is none of your business. I can make all faces I want."

"Sure. Go on, but be careful not to be mistaken for Xander."

He shot her a dirty look. But Cordelia only smiled sweetly: "It could happen, you know, I mean, sure he is not brooding, but goofy grins are his trademark," she turned round to look at Xander: "But on second thought, there is no danger. At least you can dress for the occasion."

Angel decided to ignore her. He really liked her and she was a good friend but sometimes tact was not something she seemed to know and he was glad she did not say anything for a while.

Then the official part was over and Angel saw Buffy's parents rushing to her and hugging her tight. She pulled back after a while and ran over to him, smiling lovingly: "Angel, there you are. Why are you not coming?"

He frowned: "I am not sure if your mother will be so pleased to see me."

"Hush. You are my boyfriend, uh that sounds nice, well you are. So you belong to me."

He grinned and let her pull him over to her parents. Joyce lips tightened at once and she reached out for her ex-husband: "Hank, that is the guy I was talking about to you before."

Hank Summers turned round to face the horrible man that - taking the words of his ex-wife - seduced their little daughter. Seeing him he suddenly smiled broadly: "Angel, it is so good to see you. How are you doing?"

The ex-vampire took his hand and shook it. Buffy looked at both men in confusion.

Joyce was totally taken aback: "You know each other?" she asked.

Hank nodded: "Yes, we do. Angel was taking care of some things for me. He is a private investigator in LA and when we had some ... uuhm ... unusual problems he took care of them."

Buffy punched her boyfriend playfully: "So you know my father, why didn't you tell me?"

"There wasn't really the time. And it was not very important."

"It was important. I would not have known how to deal with the situation without you," Hank said and looked at his daughter: "So he is the new man in your life, my princess. Well all I can say, congratulations. You could not have taken a better one."

"I cannot believe it, all the men in my life seem to plot against me," Joyce exclaimed in frustration.

"Mom, come on. Maybe it should tell you something that everyone likes Angel. Maybe you should try to know him better and then decide," Buffy tried to calm her mother.

Joyce nodded: "Fine, I can do that. But I am still not happy with it."

Buffy took her father's hand: "Daddy, there is something I have to ask you. A favour."

"Of course, darling. Tell me."

"Could I stay with you for a while. I mean could I stay at your house?"

"Everytime. You know, I love it to have you with me."

"Ahem. Don't you think that is something we should talk about?" came Giles' angry voice from behind.

Buffy spun round and looked at the now red-faced watcher: "Uhm... Giles," was all she was able to say.

"Yes, Giles. I think we have to talk, don't you. And you," he turned to face Angel: "are coming with us." He turned again and walked a bit away from the group. Buffy gave her parents a short glance, then she and Angel walked after him.

Hank looked at his wife in astonishment: "What does he have to do with that?"

******

"This is a nice bomb you are dropping on me, Buffy. You cannot just quit and leave like that. And you Angel of all people should know that."

Buffy glared at her watcher: "Leave him out of this. It was my decision and you know very well that I can leave. The Council gave me permission to do if I want. They wrote I can decide if I want to stick to my duty in Sunnydale or not. So, guess what I decided to skip."

"Buffy," Giles sighed: "I thought we have talked about it and you told me you would stay. All of a sudden... tell me one reason."

The slayer reached for her boyfriend's hand and smiled: "Angel is the reason or better the fact that we love each other. We have just found out that we love each other for a very long time and as we have been separated for a while we have to know each other again. That is not really possible if I am staying here. Angel cannot move at the moment for he has the business."

"You found out ... WHAT?"

"It's not really my fault that you find it out like that," Buffy pouted: "everybody saw it yesterday night but you were already gone."

"So you are telling me that he," he pointed at the former vampire: "came back yesterday, all of a sudden you find out you love each other and now you're rushing to LA ... Buffy, that is ... I don't even have words for this."

Buffy was about to answer, her anger boiling inside of her when a soft voice cut in: "Giles, you are acting like an idiot. They are in love. Can't you remember how that feels like?" Jenny walked beside her husband and squeezed his arm. He looked at her and suddenly his tense broke away from him. He shrugged: "Well, maybe you are right. It's just, it is a bit out of the blue. And I still feel you should have told me - yesterday."

"Ah, I should have rang your doorbell in the middle of the night and wake Arthur?" Buffy could not help but grin now.

"Oh ... no, of course ... well, I have to accept it then. And I will have to deal with Kendra," he sighed loudly: "She is a nice girl, but she is very different from you, Buffy."

"Yeah, but think about it, Giles, you will have a slayer that lives after the handbook - not the annoying Buffy who will be mad because she cannot go to a party," Buffy laughed and she could feel Angel beside her.

Giles now completely calmed down reached out and took her hand: "You never were annoying." When he saw Buffy quirking an eyebrow he said: "Alright, sometimes you were difficult, but it was always a pleasure to have you. Maybe it is not the watcher that worries parting from you, maybe it is more ... you became like a daughter to me and it is hard to let her go."

"I know," tears were shining in Buffy's eyes. "But I am only going to LA, that is a two hours drive, right. So we can see each other and if some great evil shows up, Kendra is not able to handle on her own you give us a call and Angel and I rush back for help."

Giles looked at the couple in front of him and he finally realised that they just belonged together: "So you are staying with your father?"

"Yes. Angel and I decided to take it slow. We have to get known to each other first. But he offered a paid position in his agency to me, so I can actually work in the business. No energy wasted. Okay I have been to college but I do not see myself somewhere in an office."

"I wish you luck and hope you will call from time to time," Giles said finally and his wife smiled.

"I will call. And I insist all of you come to LA - as soon as I have moved to my father's house I will throw a party. He does not know this but I think he will be cool with it. He has a lot to make up for, I mean he even missed my 18th birthday, only sending a present and a card. So we will see you all soon."

******

When they left the College grounds some time later, Riley Finn still stood in the shadow of a tree. He had watched Buffy and Angel the whole day. The feeling of betrayal would grow stronger with every minute he saw them together, the pain in his stomach became worse with every kiss or touch they shared. He loved that woman, he had given up everything for her, to be near her again and she had only used him. He did not know what to do but he knew that she would not get away with this so easily, she and her lover.

...

Part 7

Willow's Diary

Geez - it's been a week since Graduation - I cannot believe it. I've got two letters from software companies offering jobs to me but I am not sure. I love being a witch and would like to improve magic. The whole celebration was very nice and I will always remember it. Xander looked so stupid in his Prom-suit and I could tell that Anya was slightly embarrassed to show up with him. And Buffy really wants to move to LA, in fact she is moving today to her father's house. We are all going with her and the stuff in Xander's new van.

Angel went back to LA the day after Graduation, I still have to process he and Buffy are together now. We will have a little party tonight at a club near Mr. Summer's house who is out of town for a week, so the whole gang is staying in LA for that time. Taking Buffy's words he has a rather big house with room for all of us. Buffy finally has told her father about her being the slayer and all and surprisingly he took it quite well.

Annoyingly Riley showed up at our apartment two days ago, he was slightly drunk and looking for Buffy who was at her mom's and I am really glad. He was talking about Buffy's betrayal and how sad he was. Fortunately Tara used some magic on him and so he changed his mind and left after some minutes. I hope he is not going to cause trouble - somehow I have a bad feeling.

Oz has not shown up so far. I am really worried, he promised to be at the Graduation and never came. I tried to call him but no answer, but then I have no right to expect him coming, we are only friends now - at least I hope that. Ever since I have told him about Tara and I he has been distant. I could tell he was hurt he'd expected to have a relationship with me again in typical Oz-manner. Taking me in his arms, kissing me and smiling. No discussion, no explanation. So I just said NO, and I do love Tara, I do love Tara, well I hope I really do, for all our sake.

Well, I have to go now, the others are waiting for me. So I will write again, when I come back.

*******

Buffy directed Xander through LA towards her father's house. She had not been there for a while but had no problems with directions. Xander pulled in front of a large white building and the whole gang climbed out of the van.

"Wow, that is some house," Xander exclaimed.

"It's big, no it is huge," Anya added :" he must have some money."

Buffy grinned: "Yeah, he lives. But actually the house is to big for one person."

"A house can never be too big," Anya stated matter-of-factly.

Xander looked at her, shrugged and then grinned himself.

*****

Two hours later everyone was sitting in the living room. They had carried all of Buffy's stuff inside and were now waiting for the pizzas to arrive. There was a knock on the door and Buffy jumped up:

"Going."

Expecting the pizza boy she opened the door going through her purse and not looking up: "How much is it?"

"I don't know if you can pay for me."

"Angel," she exclaimed and launched herself into his arms, looking at him lovingly and pulling his head down for a kiss: "What are you doing here? I thought you had to work."

He smiled: "Change of plans, so I thought I would come and see you. I take it you are not mad."

"Mad?" she questioned: "Why would I be mad. I am happy you came."

"Whom were you expecting?"

"Only pizzas. Come in, the whole gang is here, we're just carrying my things inside." She took his hand and pulled him into the house and then towards the living room. Smiling at her friends she said: "Look who I found on the doorstep." Several 'heys' came in response.

"Nice to see you, dea... Angel, but I'd rather prefer the pizzas, I am starving."

"Poor Xander," Willow grinned and looked at Angel: "I cannot believe he actually is hungry, while we were carrying things he and Anya were mostly making out."

"Hey, I resent that," Xander shot her a glare.

"Making out makes hungry, one burns a lot of energy. Not as much as with having sex, but it burns nevertheless," Anya said to help her boyfriend and everyone just shook their heads smiling slightly.

Buffy pulled Angel to a large seat, forcing him to sit down and curling herself up in his lap. She looked at him: "How are Cordelia and Wesley?"

"They are fine. Cordelia has an audition right now and Wesley is researching something for me, but they will be here tonight."

"Something that needs a slayer?"

He smiled: "We don't know so far." Angel looked round: "Some things are going on in LA, I am not sure what to think of it. Last night I was attacked by two vampires. In Sunnydale this would not surprise me but this is LA. Usually the vamps around here do not jump on you and if they would they would not choose me."

"Already a bad reputation?" Xander grinned.

Angel only glared at him: "This is not funny, Xander. It is very unusual. And it came out of the blue, there are no prophecies and nothing." He frowned.

Buffy reached out and stroke his forehead gently with her fingertips: "We can take care about this later, right?"

He smiled: "Yeah, we can."

When the pizzas arrived Buffy went to the kitchen to get plates for everyone and placed herself again with Angel. It felt so good to be near him, she had not seen him for almost a week and was seeking for contact.

Biting from her slice Willow said: "Buffy, maybe you should tell Angel about Riley."

At the mention of this name Buffy felt Angel stiffen, she gave him a gentle kiss and explained: "He came to the apartment two days ago and was complaining about how I treated him. I was at my mom's at that time."

"What did he say?" Angel asked Willow.

The witch shrugged: "Not much. He was slightly drunk and babbling about Buffy's betrayal and stuff," she looked at Tara: "but she used magic on him and off he went," she finished with a proud smile at her girlfriend. Tara blushed a little bit, she did not like to be in the middle of everyone's attention.

"You can get someone to leave by using magic?" Angel found that fascinating.

"It is rather simple. Some Latin and a bit of training do the trick," Tara explained: "But I don't know about him, he had an evil aura. Not like a vampire or so and I know him for a while, he usually had a good aura but all of a sudden it has changed. I cannot say what it means, but I do not like it."

Willow squeezed her hand: "I felt the same, but what could that mean?"

"I don't know and I don't care," Buffy shrugged: "There was no way in staying with him. It would only have hurt him. Besides his foolish behaviour in the graveyard he was a nice guy the whole time and I hope he will find someone who loves him the way he deserves it."

Everyone nodded in response and Angel smiled at her lovingly. She grinned: "So it is still early, I mean it is only four. Anyone an idea what we could do until tonight?"

"Picnic," Anya suggested.

"A film," came from Willow.

Buffy looked at Angel: "What do you think? After all you are local here. Is there anything we could do?"

"I am sorry, usually I," he looked at the floor: "I ... do not go out."

She smiled: "Old habits, hmmm? Well we could go to see a film. I see where my father's newspaper is."

She got up and returned after a while studying the newspaper: "There is not really anything tempting," she sighed: "Then let's go to the park and enjoy the afternoon sun."

******

An hour later the gang was sitting in a little park near Mr. Summer's home. Anya and Xander were making out under a tree, Tara and Willow sat back to back on a blanket they had brought with them. Angel sat near them, his eyes closed and Buffy lay with her head in his lap. She smiled looking up at him. He looked so beautiful in the sunlight: "Angel," she began.

He looked down at her and smiled: "What?"

"Are you going to patrol tonight? I mean after the party at the club?"

He nodded: "Yes, I have to. This whole thing I talked to you before is just to strange to be careless."

She reached out and stroke his cheek: "I want to come with you."

"You are very welcome. It's always good to go with a slayer." He bowed his head down and caught her lips in a sweet kiss that grew more passionate in a second, but they broke apart when Willow sighed rather loudly beside them.

"What," Buffy looked at her friend.

Willow grinned: "I fear this is going to be a serious making out session," she said gazing over to Xander and Anya.

Buffy giggled: "Yeah. But who cares." With this she pulled Angel's head down again. Feeling him smile on her lips she looked at him: "What is it?"

He chuckled: "Nothing. You're cute."

"Am I," she grinned : "Well, that's nice." She sighed: "It's wonderful out here."

"As if you would have noticed," Willow teased.

Buffy shot her a dirty look: "I have noticed. Besides I know that park. My dad used to come here with me when I was a small child, you know."

Angel looked at his watch: "Which time are we meeting?"

"Seven straight," was Buffy's response.

"Maybe we should head back then. Knowing you it will need sometime for you to get ready," he grinned.

"Hey," she playfully punched his arms: "I am born good looking."

He smiled and kissed her again, then all got up and walked back to the house. Buffy tossed Willow the key and they went in. She stayed with Angel for a moment who was leaning against his car: "See you later," he whispered.

"I am going to miss you." Her lips almost on his.

"It's only an hour."

She sighed: "Yes, it's an eternity."

Angel laughed: "Go in and get ready. Meet you later."

Reluctantly she pulled back, blowing him a last kiss she went into the house.

******

When the car drove away a tall figure appeared behind a tree, tears were welling in his eyes, he had the feeling as if someone had hit him in his stomach. He loved this woman and now she was touching and kissing another man. A man that had once been a vampire. With a noise of disgust he turned and left.

...

Part 8

"You know this is kinda nice club," Willow glanced lovingly over to Tara. The blonde only nodded in response, she wasn't very much into clubs but this was really nice, not as loud as usual.

"I am glad you like it," Buffy said and took Xander's arm to look at his watch. She frowned: "I wonder where he is. We said we'd meet at seven straight."

"Calm down, Buff, he will be here soon, I am sure of it," Xander tried to comfort her.

Buffy sighed: "I know I am overreacting, but he is no vampire anymore which means he is not as strong as he was. What if he overestimates his strength, what if he is attacked, what if..."

"Stop it, Buffy. That isn't doing any good."

"I know, Will, but I cannot change it," Buffy replied nervously biting on her lower lip. Suddenly her face brightened up: "Cordy, Wesley," she shouted at the two standing in the doorway, then her face fell again when they approached the table: "Where is he?"

"Don't know. He'll come on his own he said, had some buisness to take care of. Someone called and he went off, he said we should not worry if he would be late."

"Not worry, hmm? Not worry, oh I am going to kill him," Buffy exclaimed. "I am already worrying. And he went all by himself?"

"Of course. But you don't have to worry, he is a trained fighter also without his vampire abilities," Wesley said.

"So when will you start at the agency, I mean start working," Cordelia tried to change the subject. When Buffy did not answer she repeated her question rising her voice.

Buffy's head snapped round: "Oh sorry, Cordy. Next week actually. But it will be mostly patrolling so not too much office work."

"Oh I don't know, I have a feeling we will see you in the office pretty often," the Brunette grinned.

"Hey, isn't that Riley in the doorway?" Anya exclaimed suddenly and all heads turned round.

Buffy's gaze fell: "Well this was supposed to be a nice evening and now it turns out to become something ... well something completely different. I SO do not look forward seeing him," she said nodding at Riley.

The same moment Riley had seen Buffy and quickly came over to their table: "Hey guys," he said, then facing Buffy: "hey Buffy. It is good to see you."

"I wished I could say it is mutual but it is not. What are you doing here Riley?" Buffy's voice was low which meant she was rather angry.

Riley looked hurt: "I just wanted to see you. Appologize for my behaviour, my words ... you know," he streched out a hand: "maybe we could be friends." He gave her his best puppy dog expression and Buffy's anger disappeared.

She smiled: "I would like that. So, friends!" She took his hand and shook it.

Then Riley looked round: "Where is your ... errr ... Angel?"

"We are expecting him every minute," Cordelia snapped not liking the boy at all. Geez how old is he, she thought, he must be 24 and is still looking like a baby. And his clothes, god, this was so out of fashion. How could Buffy ever have dated him. She herself had dated Xander but this, this was just gross. She sighed loudly and everyone looked at her. "Nothing," she said quickly.

Buffy forgetting all about Riley standing next to her glanced again at Xander's watch and a twisting feeling entered her stomach. Something was wrong. When she felt everyone's concerned eyes on her, she smilied appologetically: "I am sorry, not the best mood. I am just worried. I have a bad feeling."

"Hey that is Angel's sentence," Xander tried to make a joke, but nobody laughed. It was alomst eight by now.

Buffy stood up appruptly: "I have to go, look for him."

Willow laid a hand on her arm: "And where? This is not Sunnydale, Buffy. LA is pretty big."

Buffy sighed in frustration: "You are right, but I cannot just sit here..."

The same moment Cordelia's cell phone rang: "Hello," she answered it. Everyone looked at her while she listened. When she finished her call she looked at Buffy: "I hate to say that, but you were right, Buffy."

"Right? What do you mean. Angel?" Buffy's voice barely a whisper.

Cordelia nodded her face now full of concern: "He is at the hospital. They found my number on a card to call in case of emergency. Let's go."

"How ... how bad?" Buffy's face was pale, her hands shaking.

"He did not say that, the doctor I mean. But when they had to use the card I would guess he was at least not conscious."

With this the gang headed out of the club and straight for the hospital leaving Riley behind them.

******

Willow and Tara were sitting quietly in the corner of the large waiting room, Xander and Anya stood in the other corner and were - surprisingly - not making out because the situation did not fit and Anya actually showed some concern.Wesley sat beside Tara. Cordelia leaned on the wall and Buffy had herself curled up in a chair, her face even paler than before. When they had arrived at the hospital the doctors had told them that Angel had been found by a woman in a dark street. He had been shot with two bullets in his chest and his heart had stopped on the way to the hopital. Luckily they had managed to revive him and he was now at surgery.

Thousands of thoughts were running through Buffy's mind but she was not able to focus on them. All she could feel was fear, they had just found out about their mutual feelings, she loved him so much and she could not lose him. Angel had just regained his humanity and now it should be taken away by some bullets. She closed her eyes to afraid to think about it anymore. Instead she tried to remember his kisses, his eyes, his mouth on hers.

Then the doctor came and Buffy nearly jumped out of the chair. He looked around: "Is there any family of Mr. ... Angel?"

"I am his fiancée," Buffy lied, well aware of hospitals only telling relatives about their patients. Ignoring the looks of her friends she gazed at the doctor who nodded at her.

"Now, Angel. As I told you before, he had two shots in his chest. We are glad we found the bullets and were able to remove them. He lost some blood but it was not as much as we thought first. So we are pretty sure he will fully recover, given time and enough rest."

He could hear the sounds of relief around him and smiled, that guy must be very lucky to have so many friends caring for him. He looked back at the blonde standing before him: "So Miss..."

"Summers."

"Miss Summers, do you want to see him?"

"Yes, of course."

The doctor nodded at the rest of the gang and showed her to follow him. In front of Angel's door he stopped her once again: "He is still very weak, Miss Summers, but he was really lucky. One bullet was near the main artery, if it had been only one inch to the right," he paused: "that would have been his death. He will not awake for some hours but if you want you can stay for a while."

Buffy nodded at him then entered the room. Tears sprung in her eyes when she saw him, pale and unconscious, hooked to numerous machines. She took a chair and sat beside him, carefully taking his hand in hers, pulling it to her mouth and kissing it. Then she put the hand down and reached out for his face, stroking the cheeks gently : "Oh god, Angel. I could have lost you tonight. Why on earth did you go out on your own, why did you not take me with you?" The tears were now running down her cheeks. "Don't you know that I need you. You cannot leave me, I could not bear it. Do you hear me!"

A gentle knock on the door and then Cordelia entered almost noiseless: "How is he?"

"The doctor said he will sleep for a while because of the anesthetics, but he is going to be fine," she reached in her pocket and found her keys. Tossing them to Cordelia she said: "Tell them they should go home, getting some sleep. I will stay, I want to be with him when he wakes up."

Cordelia smiled: "I'll go and send them away. But I stay. No, don't look at me like that. Angel is the best friend I've ever had. He did so much for me, actually he changed my life, so there is no way leaving him now."

Buffy looked up and smiled at her gratefully: "I am glad you will stay. I could need some company."

Cordelia nodded and left and Buffy turned her attention back to the man she loved.

...

Part 9

Buffy had a wonderful dream, she and Angel were walking through a large park. It belonged to one of the manor houses in Ireland. She and Angel were on their honeymoon and they had gone to his native country. The air was clear and the sun was shining. In the park were large oak trees, some of them hundreds of years old. Angel was smiling at her and pointing at a tree: "They are even older than me," he was saying :" I have never seen them before but it's as if I come back visiting old friends." Buffy kissed him softly: "I like it here, it's so peaceful. How is it called?" "It's called Powerscourt, it's one of the most famous buildings in Ireland." "When are we going to Galway, I want to see where you come from." "Soon, beloved, soon," he whispered before kissing her again.

Buffy's head shot up and she licked her lips, it was as if she could feel the dream kiss on them. Slowly she came back to reality and remembered she was in a hospital room - ANGEL, her mind said, quickly she turned her head.

"Hey," he said, smiling at her.

"Angel," she whispered back: "You're awake. God I am so happy." She leaned forward and kissed him gently. Pulling back she said: "We were so worried when you did not show yesterday and then..." she finally cried.

"Shhh, it's okay. I am going to be okay." He took her hand and squeezed her tightly.

"I know. The doctor told us but I have never been so scared before. I mean I was pretty scared when Spike and Drusilla kidnapped you, but this..."

"But it's over, Buffy. Please don't cry."

She rubbed her eyes: "I am sorry. It's a mix of exhaustion and relief I suppose," she tried to smile. "How do you feel?"

"As if I was shot," he tried to joke, but became serious again: "Better then I would expect. Maybe some of my supernatural abilities are still working. I am not sure."

"I am glad. You looked so pale and fragile last night."

"Fragile, uuh? Not a good thing for a guy's image."

"Stop it," she suddenly yelled, but calmed down instantly: "It's not funny. You could have died. What the hell were you thinking going after a demon on your own? And what demon shoots with a gun anyhow?"

Angel let go of her hand and reached out to stroke her cheek: "I am not dead, right? And I am used to go alone, I am not helpless, Buffy. I can fight for myself, sure I do not have my vampire strength anymore, but I have been training for over 200 years, so I am used to fight. And for the demon. I am not sure if there was a demon at all."

Her eyes grew wide: "What do you mean?"

"It's good to see you awake again," Cordelia exclaimed when she rushed through the door.

The ex-vampire quirked an eyebrow: "What are you doing here? Not quite your time of the day."

"She wanted to stay, she was really worried," Buffy explained.

"Please, don't ruin my image. I am not supposed to be worried. I am a major bitca, you remember."

"No you are not. And thank you," Angel simply stated.

She gave him a genuine smile: "I am glad you are back amongst the living. I just wanted to check on you. I have to go home to change, but I'll be back in the afternoon." She waved and left the room.

"She is a good friend," Buffy looked at Angel.

"That she is. She has changed a lot, she's grown up."

"So what did you say about you were not sure if it was a demon," she came back to the subject before they were interrupted.

Angel took her hand again: "I do not want to scare you, but I have the very bad feeling this was an ambush."

"What," Buffy gasped.

He nodded: "When I arrived at the place there were no signs of demons or vampires. Then I heard a very human noise and the next were the shots."

"A human noise."

"Someone was sneezing. Vampires or demons don't sneeze," he explained.

"Oh. But why and who?"

"No idea to both questions. But somehow I also have the feeling this is not over."

Buffy became pale and her hand was shaking: "You mean whoever did this might try again?"

"Please, Buffy. I did not want to scare you but I had to tell you, I do not want to have secrets."

"I am glad," she said: "but that does not mean I am not scared. Actually I am - horribly. Why do you think they will try it again?"

"Don't know, just a feeling. I mean whoever did this wanted me dead," Buffy tightened her grip on his hand and Angel continued: "That does not mean they will succeed. At least we now know."

"Oh and that makes everything better. Angel, someone wants to kill you, we do not know why and not who could be the person. How can you be so calm?"

"I have to say she is right."

Slayer and ex-vampire turned to see a blonde woman in her early thirties standing in the door. She entered and closed the door behind her: "Angel, I am glad you are going to be okay." Then she reached her hand out for Buffy: "Hey, I am Kate Lockley, LAPD."

Buffy took her hand: "I am Buffy Summers."

When Kate rose her eyebrows in question, Angel explained: "She is my girlfriend." Buffy smiled at him.

"Oh," was Kate's comment. "Well, Angel I am here for the case report. Do you think we could make a short interview. You were shot and the hospital reported it to us. When I saw your name I took the case."

Angel looked at Buffy: "Kate and I are helping each other with some cases. She is a friend." Buffy nodded and Angel turned back to Kate: "A case report. Well I got a phone call. A man telling me there was a demon in this street. When I arrived I did not see anything demon like, but I heard someone sneeze. Then the shots came and out I was."

"Sneeze," Kate asked in confusion.

"Yeah. Sneeze. Something only humans do," he explained : "So I am thinking more along the line of a human attacker."

"I see," she nodded. "Did you see anything, smell anything?"

"No, I am sorry. All I can say is that it was well planned. Like someone who had done these things before. Maybe an army guy or so."

Kate nodded again: "Who found you?"

"I do not know."

Buffy took his hand: "The doctor told me it was a woman. But he might be able to tell you the name."

"Okay," she stood up: "thanks for the details. I will call you if we have any news. When will you go home?"

Angel shrugged: "I don't know, hopefully soon."

"You will stay as long as you have to," Buffy said, her voice serious.

"Fine," Kate said : "however we'll be in contact. Was nice meeting you Buffy." With this she left the room.

"She has a crush on you," Buffy stated.

Angel rolled his eyes: "Oh, please, she is just a friend."

She kissed him: "That's how you feel for her, but she would want more, I can see that. I am a woman myself. She nearly eats you with her eyes."

Angel grinned: "You're jealous."

"No," she protested. "No, really I am not. I am not afraid of her. I know you love me."

"That I do. And I know you love me."

"Do you? Well then it has to be true." She smiled and kissed him again.

"Sorry to interrupt," the doctor's voice came from the door. "But we have to make a check on him now. This will need about an hour or two, could you wait outside, Miss."

Angel took Buffy's hand: "Why don't you go home for a while?"

"No, I don't want..."

"Go. Have a shower, breakfast and come back later. I am fine."

"You're sure?"

"I am, now go."

Buffy kissed him again and hesitantly left the room.

"Now ... err ... Angel, how are we today?" the doctor began.

******

The gang was already sitting at the table in the dining room when Buffy entered the house. All were asking questions about Angel and she told them he was going to be fine and that he still seemed to heal quickly. She also told them what Angel had said about the ambush. Then she headed for the shower.

"Who would want to shoot deadboy?"

"We don't know, but I do not like that," Willow answered : "Look at Buffy, she is exhausted. Yesterday she was scared to death. She really loves him and there is a possibility she could lose him. How horrible."

Tara cleared her throat: "Guys, I-I,"

"What?" Xander demanded.

"Did she... she said ... I mean h-he said something about a human that attacked him, right," the blonde said.

"Right." Willow looked at her quizzically: "What are you thinking about?"

"Isn't he in demon things usually?" Tara asked.

"Yes. Why? What is it Tara?" Willow became impatient. Sometimes her girlfriend was a little bit too shy.

"So I-I would guess that he did not have m-many human cases. I-I mean."

Suddenly Willow's face brightened: "You are right. We have to go through his files, maybe we find something."

"Find what?" came Buffy's voice from the doorway. She was in a robe and had a towel around her head. Xander stood up and got a mug for her to pour her some coffee. She took the cup from him and nodded gratefully.

"Tara had a good idea, Buffy," Willow explained. "The guy who shot Angel, well if he was human we should go through Angel's files. He was dealing with demons and stuff, so the actually 'human' cases have to be only few."

"You are right, Will. We could make a list of the people that could hate Angel and check these persons." Buffy's mood was better in an instant. Now she could do something. "What about you guys going to the office. Cordy will be there. I am coming later, I have to check on Angel first."

*******

When Willow, Xander, Tara and Anya arrived at Angel Investigations, Cordelia was not there. Instead of her Wesley opened the door: "Good morning everybody," he greeted them. "Can I help you?"

"Actually you can, we would like to go through Angel's files," Willow said.

"His files? Why?"

Willow explained everything to the ex-watcher and he agreed in an instant. He went to make some tea and the gang began their work.

*******

Angel was asleep when Buffy came back to the hospital. So she left the room after a second and went to see the doctor. He smiled when he saw her: "Miss Summers, nice to see you."

"Doctor?"

"Oh, I forgot yesterday. Davies, my name is Davies."

"How is he?" Buffy asked.

"He is very well. Better then we would have expected. I have never seen wounds heal that fast. I think we will keep him here for two more days then he can go. But you have to promise to have an eye on him. He has to rest when he gets home and I have a feeling he does not like to be treated this way," he smiled.

Buffy sighed: "You can bet on it. But I will watch him and he will rest even if I have to tie him to the bed."

The doctor laughed: "Fine. Is there anything else?"

"Actually. The woman who found him, do you know her name? I would like to thank her", Buffy said. It was only half the truth. She was hoping the person could have seen anything to identify the attacker.

"No, I am sorry. She only called the ambulance. When they arrived she was already gone and she did not say her name when she was on the phone."

Buffy nodded: "I see. What a pity. I better go now and see him."

"Sure, see you then, Miss Summers."

...

Part 10

The next two days were mostly spent with reading through Angel's files and the gang was surprised how busy he had been. From time to time there was a disgusted sound to be heard or a look to be seen when they read through one of the most ugly cases. 'Now you see what I have to deal with' Cordelia said then proudly. She felt somehow superior because she had dealt with things that were new for the Sunnydale-gang. Wesley would shake his head then, grinning slightly but becoming serious when he recieved a glare from the former cheerleader. Buffy helped most of the time but left some hours to stay with Angel at the hospital. He recovered fast and all the staff in the hospital came to see the miracle happening in room No. 45. A patient shot with two bullets who was almost fully recovered when he was released only three days later. Nobody had seen something like that before. One young doctor even asked Angel if he could use him for a medical report he had to do, but Angel and Buffy decided it was to risky because none of them knew if Angel was truly human. Obviously not completely as the last three days had shown.

At the time, Buffy and Angel entered the office the gang had made a list of possible suspects. When the they saw Angel they greeted him heartily. He smiled:"Hey guys. Thanks for the welcome."

"How do you feel?" Cordelia asked.

"Fine, really. I am the miracle of the LA-General Hospital," he joked.

"They wanted to study him," Buffy giggled.

"They wanted what?" Cordelia did not understand a word.

"A young doctor came and asked me if he could make a paper of my case. But as we do not know if they could find things they better shouldn't we said no," Angel explained. He walked over to his desk and sat down in his chair. He looked round: "Buffy told me you were going through the files. Did you find anything?"

"In fact we did," Wesley handed his boss a list. "These are the cases where we had to deal with human criminals. Thanks to Cordelia's filing practice we had a hard time to find them."

"Hey, what is wrong with my filing?. I am fine with it, I can find anything I want."

"It's okay, Cordelia," Angel sighed, not willing to discuss that matter now. "So we have this list. The best is we would split into teams and check the people. But please be careful. All of them are dangerous people. First of all we should find out if some of them are still in jail." He reached for the phone. After a short time someone seemed to answer it. "Hey Kate. It's Angel... yes, I am home ... fine. Do you have some news?... I see ... yes, I am not surprised. Listen Kate, I have a favour to ask. We have made a list of human criminals the agency had to deal with. Could you check it for me? ... No. I just want you to check if any of them are still in jail or even dead. Could you do that? ... Great, thanks. Okay, I fax the list right away." He handed the paper over to Cordelia who put it into the fax.

"You should lay down, now," Buffy told Angel.

He sighed: "I will. Later. I want to wait for Kate's answer. It should be only five minutes. She usually is quick with things like these."

"No. You can wait downstairs," Buffy walked over to him, grabbed his arm and pulled him to the stairs. He gave the others a smile and let her lead him downstairs.

"So we are damned to wait," Xander said.

Anya's head shot up: "Does Angel have another spare room?"

"Why?" Wesley asked in confusion.

"Oh Wesley, grow up," Cordelia exclaimed. "Yes he has. Make yourself free to use it. It is downstairs to the left, just before you go into Angel's apartment."

Anya got up instantly and pulled Xander with her. The girls in the office shook their heads and grinned. Wesley still did not understand what had been so funny.

*******

"Buffy, do not treat me like that. I am fine."

"No, you are not," she insisted. "You were shot, you nearly died and the doctor said you had to rest. So you are lying down now."

The ex-vampire sighed: "Fine, if this pleases you." He removed his coat and went over to the bedroom where he lied down in his full clothes. Buffy was right behind him and sat herself on the edge of the bed. Angel smiled: "I am really fine, not even tired."

"Do you want anything? Are you thirsty or hungry?" Buffy looked into the direction of the kitchen.

Angel shook his head: "No. Buffy, come here." He patted on the other side of the bed. The slayer looked at him and after a short hesitation she placed herself beside him. He took her hand: "What is it? Are you still scared?"

She nodded after a short while: "Yes. I am. I nearly lost you, Angel. This was close. I never really thought something like this could happen. You always ... you were so strong, almost invincible. When Darla shot you, you were on your feet only some minutes later to save my life and even after Spike kidnapped you - the recovery was in no time. But now that you are human you are the more vulnerable."

He cupped her cheek in his right hand and forced her to look at him: "Are you regretting it? That I am not a vampire anymore?"

"No," she answered quickly. "That is not what I meant. I am glad you are human, incredibly happy in fact, because we can be together now. Maybe because I know you are my one true love I am so scared to loose you. Because I know I could not stand to be without you." A single tear run down her cheek. Angel captured it with his thumb and weeped it away gently.

He smiled: "You are not going to lose me, Buffy. And if it helps the feeling of fear is mutual. I know you are the slayer and you are strong. But I always fear for your life. You are constantly in danger, fighting demons and vampires, because that is your destiny and it is an important part of you. Knowing this I had to try to hide my fear - otherwise it would have driven me insane. I had to learn to believe in your strength. But still there is that feeling one battle could be your last."

"Well not anymore, as I am no official slayer anymore."

"But you will work with me, so you will fight anyway. And as I said before, it is an important part of you, it is part of your personality. You have seen to much to just live a normal life again. So we have to live with the danger, deal with it somehow and believe that the other one is strong."

"You are right and know that. But it is still hard," she swallowed to stop another tear from falling.

"I know. And it will always be. But together we can make it, I am sure of that." He smiled at her assuringly. Then he cupped both her cheeks in his hands and kissed her. Breaking the kiss after a while he smiled again: "I love you."

"I love you too. So very much." She smiled back now: "And I will try to believe in our strength."

Angel kissed her again.

******

"There it is," Cordelia exclaimed when the fax started to work. She reached over and pulled the paper out. "There are six names left on the list. The others are either dead or in jail. Good work Kate." She frowned: "I cannot believe I said that about Kate of all people."

"Cordelia does not get along with Kate," Wesley explained to Willow and Tara and Willow nodded understandigly. Cordelia was Cordelia after all.

"Whatever," Cordelia paid no attention to him. "We should go get the others."

"I go to Buffy and Angel," Willow exclaimed and quickly went down the stairs.

"And who is going for Anya and Xander," Cordelia asked and looked around.

******

"So we have six names, " Angel said when they finally were all together in the office. "We split in teams and look for them, but only look, no questions. Is that understood? No contact!" He looked around and gave everyone a serious look. When they all nodded he continued: "Fine. So Willow and Tara you get that one." He wrote the first name and adress on a little note paper and handed it to the couple. They nodded and went away. The same procedure he did with Anya and Xander and with Wesley who went on his own. When they all had left, he turned to Buffy:"We are taking the last three."

She looked at him doubtfull: "Do you really..."

"I am fine, Buffy. Can we go now?"

She tried to remember their earlier conversation, nodded and they both headed for the car.

********

In a cheap motel room a young man looked at a young woman. She was pretty, a pretty whore. He had met her last night out in the streets. She was so much like her, blonde and a small frame. But it had not been satisfying. She felt different, she smelled different. He made himself believe he was making love to her, whispering her name all the time.

She rose her head: "You know you have to pay again if I am staying," she said.

"You are not her," was his simple answer, then he turned and said: "Go."

She pulled her clothes on and left as soon as she could, this guy was just creepy.

...

Part 11

The checking of the suspects needed the whole day and when they met at the agency at night they had not more than before. Everyone was tired and Buffy extremely frustrated. She sat with Angel in his kitchen and was constantly kicking her toes against the table-leg. Her boyfriend watched her with growing concern.

"What is it?" he asked after what seemed an eternity.

"I hate that," she replied. "We were working the whole day and the result is nothing. We do not know a bit more than before. None of them was behaving suspicious, which means there is still a psychotic attacker running around waiting to kill you."

Angel reached over the table to take her hand: "Buffy, please calm down."

"No," she stood up and paced the kitchen. "I am not calming down. How can I? And on top of this you were up the whole day while you should rest," suddenly she froze in track. "Correct me, but did you say something about an army guy."

He did not understand: "What? What do you mean?"

"When you talked to that Kate-person in the hospital you said something like that the person might have been trained, like an army-guy."

Angel nodded: "That's right. Whoever it was he knew how to set an ambush and make himself invisible."

"Oh hell," she cried in frustration. "I am stupid, stupid, stupid." Repeating the word she slapped herself against her forehead. "Tara, would you please come in?"

"Buffy," the ex-vampire began. "Would you please explain..."

"Hush," she interrupted him. "Just a moment."

The blonde witch came into the kitchen, Willow in tow: "C-Can I help?"

"The other day, you said something about Riley's aura."

She nodded: "Yes, i-it was r-r-really bad. Full of b-bad intentions."

"Bad intentions," Buffy exclaimed. "Oh, I am such a fool. And I, look at me the stupid, oblivious Buffy Summers, shake his hand in *friendship*."

"Buffy," came Angel's impatient shout.

She snapped out and looked at him: "Sorry. It is Riley."

"What?" asked Willow in confusion.

"Riley shot Angel." When she saw the unbelieving faces she explained: "It's as easy as Maths. Okay so I was never good at that, but it is really easy. Angel comes to town, Riley flips and yells at me. Then all of a sudden he changes onto 'I am your friend' mode. And then Angel is shot. Just use simple maths."

"I have to say it makes sense," said Xander who had come to the kitchen as well. "I never liked that slimy army-boy."

"There you go," Buffy said. "Army boy. He was at the Initiative, I forgot that before. Ambushing vampires was their specialty."

"But Buffy, Riley. He is such a nice boy." Willow was always ready to find the best in everyone.

"Nice," she hissed. "Very nice. Psychotic I would say. And you think that only happens in bad movies."

"Okay," Angel said: "Assuming he is the person. We should now see what we can do. I mean, if he really is psychotic I do not want anyone of you in his line of fire. Understood."

Everyone nodded, except Buffy: "I am not staying away from you. No way mister."

"Buffy."

"No. I am the slayer, you are not getting rid of me."

He sighed: "Alright."

"You should call Kate and tell her," Cordelia threw in. "He is after all a human, so this is a case for the police."

"You are right, Cordy," Angel told her. "Could you give her a call?"

"Done." She turned and headed for the office.

...

Part 12

The gang left Angel's apartment and office at 10 p.m. Buffy had insisted to stay with the former vampire. Her father had called during the day to inform her he would be away for another week. So there was no need for anyone to look for a another place to stay over the next days.

Nobody could know what the attacker's next move would be. The slayer was sure about him being Riley while Angel still had his doubts. Sure the boy was aggressive and hurt and certainly jealous as hell (he could understand it better than anyone) but he didn't look like a homicidal killer at all. But then the ex-vampire better than anyone knew how looks could be deceiving. His own face had belonged to a vicious killer for far too long.

Cordelia and Wesley stayed at the office for some more hours. The brunette didn't want to leave. Angel was the best friend she'd ever had and she felt she couldn't abandon him in a situation like this. In usual Angel-manner he didn't really take it seriously. Somehow the fact he had been a vampire for so long still made him think he was almost immortal. Now as a normal human being he could die every minute and it frightened the former may queen. He had been her rock in life, a person who would always be there, no matter what. She looked over at Wesley who was sitting at his desk reading some old book. She frowned: "Geez, can't you just stop reading in demon lecture. It's not that we have to go against vampires or stuff like that."

"I truly wished it was vampires, at least we could kill them. A human attacker is totally new territory. Well, maybe not completely new, but it's a difficult situation nevertheless."

"*We* could kill them?," Cordelia asked, her brows raised in mocked disbelief. "Tell me, when did you ever kill a vampire? You usually run when they attack as I recall." She raised her hand when he was about to answer and continued: "I know you were a rogue demon hunter once and a watcher also, but killing vampires, as in more than one?"

"I have killed a number of them," he protested, his voice sounding slightly hurt. "I had to kill two before I became a watcher, it was part of the training."

"Wow," she said trying to sound impressed. "I suppose they have been tranquilized before," she muttered under her breath.

"Excuse me," he asked not having been able to understand her words.

"Oh, nothing. I was just wondering, if you do not miss being a watcher," she lied.

"Not really, to be honest. My time as a watcher was nothing but disaster. I had a young slayer to train and she joined the other side. I tried to convince her it was the wrong way but she slipped from my influence. She died only some weeks later by the hands of the demon she had joined."

"That must have been hard," she replied in honest sympathy.

"It was. But it helped me to find my way. So I left the council and working here with Angel has been very interesting. He became a true friend."

She smiled: "Yeah, mine too."

*******

"Buffy, you can take the bed, honestly..." Angel started but was interrupted by her amused reply:

"I know you had it worse before. You already told me that, remember?"

"I do," he smiled. "I will never forget that night in your bedroom. All I could think was to kiss you."

"And you did. I was the best kiss in my entire life."

"Now was it?," he asked stepping closer to her, his eyes never leaving hers. "Maybe we should try to make some new memories then." His lips were only an inch apart from hers now.

"I am a great believer in making memories," she whispered, reaching out and gently stroking his face.

He smiled again and caught her lips in a gentle kiss, that became passionate in a second. When they pulled away they both almost panted. He looked deeply in her eyes: "We better stop that now."

Buffy thought about it, but for only a second, then her hands pulled his head down again: "But I do not want to stop," she said, the intention clearly written in her eyes.

Angel's eyes widened in response: "Are you sure?"

"Of course I am, I already said I needed a practical demonstration, didn't I. And now shut up and kiss me."

*****

A knock on the office door started Wesley and Cordelia and almost in unison they said: "Come in."

The blonde detective's head popped in first, she looked at the two employées of Angel investigations and gave them a greeting smile: "Hi, I know it is late, but I thought I just stop by. Angel isn't an early sleeper anyway."

Cordelia grinned: "Today he is. Maybe it's the company."

Kate nodded: "Oh I remember, Bunny, right? I met her when he was at the hospital."

"Buffy," the former cheerleader corrected. "Yeah, she is staying here tonight. She wouldn't leave him because of the danger."

The detective frowned: "Doesn't she know she is in great danger this way? This person, whoever he is tried to kill Angel before and if she is in the line of fire..."

"Believe me, Kate. She can handle it."

"How? I mean, Angel, he is used to be in battle, but that little blonde," Kate had seen the girl, small, almost fragile. How could she be of any help?

"She is a vampire slayer," Wesley stepped into the conversation. "She looks small and weak but she is strong, very strong. Actually she is even stronger than Angel, I mean when he was a vampire."

The blonde's eyes widened. A slayer? She had read about them, the time she found out about Angel's true nature, the time she had been so disgusted by what he was. This was the slayer? The almighty force of light? This blonde little girl, Angel was in love with? "How? I mean, he was a vampire and she is the slayer. How could they become a couple?" She was lost there.

Cordelia sighed dramatically: "Mutual attraction," she then said matter-of-factly. "That's the way it usually goes."

Kate rolled her eyes: "Thanks for the lesson. I would have guessed that myself. No, what I meant. Didn't she realise, I mean, didn't she know."

"Look, it is a complicated story and if you really want to know it, just ask Angel. Change of subject: why did you step by?"

"About the attacker. I checked that Finn in the computer, he was part of an organisation called the 'Initiative'. They were government sponsored and all, but somehow the thing went down. So he certainly has battle and ambush experience, I would say." Kate felt home again, talking about business matters, police work, she felt safe.

"We knew that already," Wesley said. "Did you find anything else. What did he do the last years?"

"No criminal records, if you are asking about that. We tried to locate him in LA, but no Riley Finn anywhere," she sighed. "Listen, I think I really should talk to Angel about that."

Cordelia rolled her eyes: "You can go down, but if I was you I wouldn't. They might not like to be disturbed," she said, giving up to shield the couple downstairs against the intruder. After all she'd done her good deeds for today by speaking more than 10 minutes with Kate.

...

Part 13

Riley Finn stood behind a car just on the sidewalk opposite to Angel's office. He had watched the place for a while. He had seen the gang leaving - without Buffy - some time ago. So *she* had still to be in there, the mere thought made his blood boil. He clenched his fists in jealousy. He felt like shaking her, screaming at her she should stop this nonsense, but he had seen her eyes when she was talking about the other man and he knew it wouldn't help. He had tried to kill his feelings with at least five whores and far too much Gin throughout the last days, nothing helped. His heart still longed for the tiny, blonde slayer. Dammit, why can't one just wake up and stop loving another person. Life would be so much easier.

A while after the Sunnydale-gang had left a blonde woman had entered the agency, Riley didn't know her. She seemed familar with the place, well she should be coming at that time of the night.

Suddenly he saw another figure completely dressed in black watching the agency. Another one of Buffy's admirers, he thought. The figure moved powerful and was obviously trained in hiding. The fact Riley could see the person was he or her did not expect him to do so. Who was that? Why did someone watch the agency? The ex-commando made a decision, he would find out, he was sure Buffy would be impressed.

********

When Kate reached the bottom of the stairs leading to Angel's apartment she suddenly stopped. Cordelia's last word's were ringing in her mind, she really didn't want to disturb a love-display down there. So she cautioulsy turned around the corner looking into the empty kitchen. The room was a mess, several fruits and dishes were spread on the floor. It looked as if someone had just thrown them from the table, which had a broken leg. Kate frowned, what if something had happened to Angel. She knew he had not the same feelings for her she had for him, but he was her friend. After all they had been through, her shocked reactions finding out about his true nature, her hatred towards him regarding the horrible death of her father. Their friendship had survived everything and now that he was human she was not about to let a jealous lover make an end to his newly regained life.

So she turned from the kitchen and made her way to the bedroom to stop dead in tracks seeing the picture in front of her. Angel and his girlfriend were curled together in his bed, their tight embrace making it difficult to see where he began and she ended. It was easy to see they were wearing nothing underneath the sheets that were rumpled so it was an easy guess what they'd done there. The police officer took a deep breath and was about to leave when a female voice stopped her.

"What the hell are you doing here," came Buffy's loud yell. The blonde sat up in bed, clutching the sheet to her breast with one hand while rubbing her eyes with the other.

"Buffy, what is going on?" came Angel's voice.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," she tried to appologize, but looked back at Kate: "Still. What are you doing here? Are you stalking us? Or do you usually watch people in their bedrooms?"

"Kate?", the former vampire looked at the blonde police lady in surprise. He was fully awake by now, staring at the uninvited intruder.

"I ... I am so... sorry," was her embarrassed answer. "I was concerned about ... you. Oh God," she run her hands through her hair. "This is the most awkward situation I've ever been in ... well, almost." She tried a smile but failed miserably.

"Maybe you could just wait for us in the living room," Angel suggested, nodding in that direction.

She blushed: "Sure, again, sorry," she turned around as quickly as she could and left.

"She is in love with you, I told you before and you woudln't believe me, but now you see yourself," Buffy said, getting up from the bed and searching for her clothes.

"Buffy, she is just concerned. She is a good friend," Angel still didn't believe her although a tiny little voice in his head told him she was right.

"Crap," she said matter-of-factly. "I can see it in her eyes, pure lust," she grinned. "I cannot really be mad, you know." She turned, now wearing one of his shirts, because her clothes were still somewhere in the kitchen.

"Not?," he quirked his eyebrows.

"No, because," she stepped closer locking eyes with him. "I know the feeling," she whispered laying her hands on his still bare chest.

He took a deep breath: "You better stop that now. She is still out there, remember?"

"Oh sure," she replied, her hands falling to her sides while Angel reached behind him to grab a sweater and pulling it over his head. She was about to leave the room, when his hand held her back: "Buffy I am sorry for this," he gave her an apologetic smile. "When dreaming about making love to you the waking up was never meant to be like this."

A smile appeared on her face: "Well, that leaves room for improvement."

He smiled back and together they went for the living room.

******

The person was still standing in front of the agency building, still hidden in the shadows of the house. Riley carefully tried to get closer without being noticed. It was easier then he'd thought, because the figure's whole interest was on the building. Suddenly the person turned and headed down the street. Riley thought for a moment about telling Buffy or her ... lover. But then he decided for the lone rider - scenario and followed.

A big mistake. The moment he was round the next corner he saw that the person had noticed him right away, in fact the man was standing there. Riley's eyes widened in shock: "What the hell are you doing here?"

"What do you think?"

"You were the one that shot Buffy's boyfriend. You are insane," he shouted.

"What do you know," was the short reply before the person pulled a gun and shot without any further warning.

Riley felt the bullet piercing his skin and sinking in his heart at almost the same time. It didn't really hurt, deadly wounds rarely do, he remembered one of Pro Walsh's early lectures. I am going to die, oh God, was his last thought, when darkness began to surround him. "Buffy," he whispered before his heart stopped.

The tall dark figure left out a laugh: "Fool," he said with a grin on his face, then he shrugged: "One down, one to go."

*******

"I am going to leave now," Wesley said closing a file he was reading. "What about you?"

"I'll stay for another while," Cordelia nodded towards the stairs. "Maybe I will be needed." When she saw his questioning eyes she simply added: "Kate."

He nodded in understanding and left: "See you tomorrow," he glanced at his watch. "Today," he corrected himself.

"See ya."

Suddenly Cordelia heard a an angry shout, she recognized Buffy's voice at once. Oh Kate, she sighed silently, she knew she would be needed after all.

*******

Angel quirked an eyebrow when he saw not only Kate but Cordelia sitting as well on his sofa in the living-room. "What is this," he asked, his voice sounding slightly amused. "The female invasion?"

"Sorry, but I thought you might need my diplomatic skills," the brunnette said nodding in Kate's direction.

"Your what?," Buffy's brows raised in amusement. She looked at Angel who chuckled as well.

"When did you achive diplomatic skills?" he asked his employée.

"Hey," she yelled.

"Okay," Angel turned to face the police officer. "What did you want to talk about, Kate?"

"I just wanted to tell you that we tried to track down that Finn-character but without any success."

"And you couldn't have said that through the phone," Buffy motioned for Angel to sit down on his futon and placed herself on his lap.

"I was concerned, okay," Kate still sounded embarrassed. "You are my friend, Angel," she looked him straight in the eye. "I have a right to be concerned."

"It is alright," he answered trying to assure her he wasn't angry. "I appreciate your concern, I really do." He felt the slayer's eyes resting on him but avoided them purposely, the tension in her body had already told him she wasn't sharing his forgiveness.

"Hello," Cordelia waved her hands through the air to get everyone's attention. "Now that we are all together like this, maybe we should find a way to prevent that pervert to attack my boss again."

Six eyes turned at her when suddenly Kate's beeper started them. She pulled the noisy box out of her pocket, shut it off and looked at the number shown in the display: "Can I use your phone?" she asked Angel.

"Sure, you know where it is."

The eyes followed Kate taking the phone and dialing the familar number: "Lockley here ... yeah ... I see ... WHAT?" she suddenly shouted. "I've got it. Thanks for the call." She took a deep breath and slowly turned to the people still sitting behind her: "That was a collegue of mine. They found a dead body in the alley just round the corner of this building. A young white male, he had an identity card," she paused locking eyes with Buffy. "It is ... was Riley Finn."

...

Part 14

The two women in Angel's apartment still sat in shock. Kate had left shortly after the phone call to check the body and Angel had gone with her to identify the dead man. He had insisted Buffy shouldn't go with them, he wasn't about to let her see her long time boyfriend - close or not - as a corpse in the mortuary.

"I was so sure, Riley was the attacker," Buffy broke the silence after a long time. "And now he is dead and I've never felt as guilty as I do now. I have accused him to be a horrible person."

Cordelia reached over the small table and took the slayer's hand: "You couldn't have possibly known this would happen to him. We still don't know what happened. Maybe he was the killer, maybe he just had an accident that solved our problem."

"Maybe," Buffy said, not believing one word of this. It would be to much of a coincidence. Riley was dead and Buffy felt guilty. Guilty for misjudging him, guilty for accusing him, hell almost guilty for dumping him. If she hadn't left him he'd never come to LA, he'd never died. A part of her knew she was thinking nonsense, but she couldn't listen to it. All she could think was that she had been making passionate love to Angel, while Riley's dead body was laying only metres away. The body of the man that had longed for her for so many years. She snapped back to reality when she felt Cordelia squeezing her hand tight. "What," she asked confused.

"Geez, where have you been? Are you alright," the brunette asked showing honest concern. "I know that must be hard on you, you knew him for years."

"You have no idea," Buffy replied, her hand flying in front of her mouth. She stood up and fled into Angel's bedroom.

Cordelia only prayed her boss would be back soon. The slayer really didn't look well.

*******

"So is it the boy?," Kate asked the former vampire when they were standing in the mortuary.

He nodded: "Yes, I have only seen him once or twice but I am sure. He has been shot," she said, pointing at the wound in his chest.

"Yeah, the doc said he didn't suffer, he was dead the instant the bullet pierced into his body."

"Alright. Kate, I am sorry to make this short, but I have the feeling I need to go back." He smiled at her apologetically.

She laid a hand on his arm: "I understand. It must be hard for her."

"I fear it is. She's always blaming herself for the bad stuff that happens. If you hear anything..."

"I'll call," she said and smiled as well. He turned and was about to leave when her voice stopped him: "And Angel, she is really sweet."

He smiled back, a genuine smile that assured her he would stay her friend. It wasn't what she wished but she had realised with Buffy in the picture she would never stand a chance.

******

The first thing Angel saw when he returned to his place was Cordelia's concerned gaze looking up from the magazine she'd used to distract herself: "I am glad you're back," she pointed towards the bedroom. "She isn't in a good condition, mentally I mean. I was hardly able to speak to her."

He nodded: "I've expected that. She always blames herself."

"Yeah. What happened to the guy?"

"He was shot, straight through the heart, he was dead immediately," he informed her. "Cordelia, I am going to talk to Buffy. Please stay, take the couch. I would offer the bedroom, but..."

She waved with her hand: "It's okay. Of course I'll stay. See you in the morning."

He nodded and quickly glanced to the clock: "It's almost three o'clock, so we'll see each other soon." With this he turned round and disappeared in his bedroom.

Cordelia sighed and laid down on the comfortable couch in the living room, she had slept here before, mostly because of some demon- or vampire-problem. Mostly she hadn't slept at all fearing she would wake up dead the next morning. Well not really waking up... However this night her eyes closed the minute her head touched the pillow.

******

Angel cautiously walked over to the bed where Buffy had obviously cried herself into sleep. Her eyes were swollen, her cheeks showing the streaks of the tears she'd wept. She was curled into a fetal position, her whole body was showing her mind's pain even now when she was obviously sleeping soundly. He sat down on the edge of the bed softly removing some golden strands from her face with his fingers. He loved her so much, so completely, a feeling he'd never thought possible in his long life or rather un-life. As a human he hadn't paid attention to deep feelings. Haunted by the harsh words of his father, he had taken revenge the worst possible way. Killing his family he had made sure his father had to watch the deaths of his wife and daughter. He had also made sure that his father realised it was his fault his son had become a vampire. He'd never forget the pure look of horror on the face of the old man and he could also remember how much the demon had enjoyed this.

Angel shuddered slightly, shaking off these dark thoughts. He had come to terms with his past - somehow, but at some times it would rise it's ugly head, he just had to live with it.

He snapped back into reality when Buffy stirred and slowly opened her eyes. He smiled at her: "Hey," he said softly. "How are you feeling?"

She only looked at him and burst into tears - again. He gathered her in his arms and held her tightly, rocking her like a child, whispering words of comfort in her ear. When her tears slowed down, he gently cupped her chin in his big hand: "I am so sorry, Buffy."

She shook her head: "It's not your fault," her voice still hoarse with emotion. "He feel bad because I dumped him."

"It's not your fault either. You didn't tell him to come to LA."

"I know," she said, slightly pulling back. "Deep in my mind I know. But I can't get that tiny voice out of my head, that says it's all my fault."

He gently kissed her on the forehead: "Because you were with me when it happened."

Surprised she looked at him. He knew her so well, she'd almost forgot how he was always able to read her mind. She'd always thought it was because he was a vampire, but that was wrong. It was because he was a part of her, a part of her soul. "Yeah," she replied softly. "I am not regretting what we did," she assured him quickly. "On the contrary, it was wonderful and like heaven."

"I know," he said, smiling slightly. "I understand. And it was wonderful," he added, his smile growing wider.

She finally took a deep breath and asked the question she had dreaded so much: "What happened to him?"

"He was shot," he said slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. "A bullet straight through the heart, he was dead at once. He didn't have to suffer, if that is any comfort to you."

She only nodded and took another deep breath: "Any idea who was the killer?"

"No. But the police, well Kate thinks that he's maybe seen something or someone and followed the person...."

"The attacker," she interrupted him.

"Possibly," he nodded.

"God, he tried to do that for me," she said, tears welling up again. "And I thought he was a homicidal killer."

"Buffy, you couldn't have known."

"But you didn't think he was the attacker and you barely knew him," she replied.

"Buffy..."

"Tell me, did you think Riley was the one, and don't lie to me."

He took a deep breath: "Well... not really," he admitted hesitantly.

She closed her eyes and swallowed hard: "Can you just hold me?"

Kicking his shoes off Angel laid down on the bed holding her tightly. He knew it was all the comfort he could offer her at the moment. He couldn't take away her thoughts, her doubts, he could only be there for her, letting her feel she could count on him whatever crossed her way, making her feel safe. The healing she had to do herself.

...

Part 15

When Angel woke up in the morning he was alone in bed. He was fully awake in an instant, got up and went to the living room. He smiled seeing Cordelia still soundly asleep on the couch, still fully clothed, but Buffy was nowhere to be seen. She wasn't in the kitchen and there were no noises from the bathroom. Deeply concerned he went upstairs into the office but found it empty as well. He took a deep breath, where could she be? It was still early, only seven in the morning. She had been so exhausted Angel hadn't thought she would wake up that early and now she was gone. He took another deep breath, maybe she just needed some time alone, it was only to understandable, he knew exactly how she felt, he had been in similar situations more than once.

His thoughts were interrupted by Wesley who was entering the office: "Good Morning," he greeted.

The ex-vampire looked up: "Oh, Morning Wesley. You are early."

He shrugged: "Well, I thought with the attacker still running around..."

Angel smiled slightly: "You don't need to protect me. But I am grateful for your concern."

Wesley smiled back: "You're welcome. Buffy still asleep? Cordelia called me yesterday night," he explained seeing the surprised look on his boss' face.

The former vampire nodded and then said: "No, actually I do not know where she is. She left before I woke up. I am a little bit concerned."

"She is the slayer, she can take care of herself."

"I know. But she ... It's just I know exactly how she feels at the moment and all I want to do is take her in my arms to take the pain away."

The former watcher smiled knowingly: "I can understand. But maybe she needed some time of her own."

"Yeah, I know. But..."

"You still worry, of course. You love her, you worry."

Angel frowned slightly: "Now you go wise on me. I better phone Willow and the other people at her father's house now, they don't even know about Riley. Plus Buffy might need Willow to talk to when she comes back." He turned and went into his office.

********

Willow almost jumped out of the bed when the phone rang early in the morning. She hadn't slept well the whole night and envied Tara by her side who seemed to be able to block bad things out. The witch ran down into the hall and answered it:

"Hello?"

"Willow? It's Angel."

"Oh, Angel. Are you alright?"

"I am fine. I just wanted to tell you. Riley was shot dead yesterday night."

"WHAT?," Willow shouted then realised everybody else was still asleep and lowered her voice: "What," she repeated. "How did it happen?"

"I don't know. He was found in an alley round the corner of the office. The police thinks he might have followed someone, maybe the real attacker."

"Oh! So Riley didn't try to kill you."

"No, I never really thought he was the person. Don't ask me why, it was just a feeling. However, Buffy is really upset that she suspected him. Maybe she will need to talk to you later."

"I see. We will have something for breakfast and head over to your place."

"Another idea, why don't you just come over and we have breakfast here."

She smiled: "Fine. I get everyone out of the bed and we will be there in no time. See you then."

"Bye, Willow." He put the phone back to the receiver and looked back to the clock. Seven thirty and still no Buffy. Don't behave like an idiot, she is fine, he thought. The same moment the door opened and the slayer walked into the outer office. Angel jumped up and ran to her: "Buffy. Where have you been? I was so worried," he asked forgetting all about Wesley who was sitting at Cordelia's desk.

She looked up: "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just needed some fresh air and a bit of time with myself." She reached out with her arms and Angel gathered her body tightly in his.

"How do you feel?," he whispered in her hair.

"A bit better. My head is willing to believe it wasn't my fault now, but it will need some more time to be totally convinced."

"Of course you need time. I phoned Willow and told her about Riley, they will be here in some minutes. Are you hungry?"

"Actually yes."

"Good, they are all coming over for breakfast. Let's go down, I am making some eggs and you get to wake Cordelia." He grinned slightly.

Buffy rolled her eyes: "Why do I always get the hard jobs," she complained.

Angel turned again: "Wesley? Some eggs?"

"Sure," the ex-watcher answered smiling. "I will just finish this and join you in some minutes."

*******

A figure dressed all in black sood again near Angel's office building. He watched the gang arriving and smiled. He had followed the slayer while she was wandering around this morning. She was obviously distracted because of the boy's death. Excellent, he thought. A distracted slayer was a less careful slayer. Tonight, he thought, tonight he would make his final move.

...

Part 16

"Are you crazy?" An angry slayer stood in the middle of Angel's living room, hands on her hips and glaring at him.

"Stop that Buffy," he said, his voice as soft as possible. "I do this every night. You can come with me, if you want. We talked about this."

"Patrolling together is fine - usually," she replied, trying to calm down. Why did he have to be so stubborn! "Maybe you forgot: there is a homicidal killer running around just waiting for his chance. Do you even think at all. Going on patrol is like inviting him to kill you." Her voice had become louder again at the end of her speech.

The rest of the gang plus Wesley and Cordelia were seated in the living room, not daring to say a word, but exchanging glances from time to time. After a prolonged breakfast where they all had tried to improve the slayer's mood with quite good success, Willow and Cordelia had convinced Buffy to accompany all the girls to the mall for a shopping trip. They came back for dinner and after that everyone had assembled in the living room, the evening looked promising and quiet until Angel got up to collect his weapons for the nightly patrol. That had been ten minutes ago and Buffy had been shouting at him ever since. Her friends knew that she wasn't really angry with him, her behaviour was more a result of her frustration. In her eyes he was just behaving stubborn and incredibly careless.

"Buffy," Angel began again. "How long do you think I can hide? One night, two? It won't help. I cannot hide forever, so it is better to face the danger. This way I will be prepared."

"Prepared," she echoed, rolling her eyes. "You think taking a sword, a crossbow and some stakes defines as prepared!"

"Maybe not in your eyes, but at least I know he is out there, right. It means I am expecting him."

"And he knows that. I doubt, he will just stand there somewhere waiting for you - face to face. He probably will set up an ambush or something," she wanted to scream. Her voice was already loud and angry but all she wanted to do is scream out loud and punch him into his beautiful face to knock some sense into his head.

Suddenly Cordelia stood up and came over to the lovers: "She is right, you know," she said, facing Angel. "But he is right too." She turned to look at Buffy now: "It is dangerous out there with this freak lurking in the bushes, but he cannot hide either. Why don't we all go - strength in numbers Giles would say."

"Cordelia," Angel began but was cut off by Xander's voice. "No, don't give us the 'I don't want to endanger you'-speech, dead ... I mean Angel. We are friends, right. We went through too much together to hide now. I say we go. All for one, one for all - I always liked that!" Now he stood close to Cordelia grinning broadly.

"Xander goes, I go," Anya stood up as well.

"I-I'll come," Tara said, laying a hand on Willows arm, who nodded assuringly. "I m-mean, we'll come. Maybe you w-will need s-some magic."

"Guys," Buffy looked at them with tears in her eyes. "You really don't need to do that. Angel is right, there is no excuse for endangering you."

"No," Willow said, coming over to the slayer. "But we want to help. This is our decision, right." She looked around and everyone nodded at her. She smiled: "See, there is nothing you can do to stop us. After all, we are the scooby gang. Danger is our daily bread."

Xander coughed behind her, but didn't say a word.

Buffy turned to look at her lover: "Fine," she said. "Patrol it is."

Angel just rolled his eyes, but saw there was no way in changing their opinion.

********

Patrol was boring, the vamps were slow, they only met one who had a girl cornered against a wall and Buffy dusted him easily. So they spent their stroll through nightly LA mainly by talking and joking as a group. The attacker hadn't made an appearance so far and the slayer slowly began to relax, reaching out for Angel's hand who was squeezing hers assuringly in return. Her turned his head and smiled at her lovingly. This moment she knew that she never could have stayed with Riley, it would have been a lie and he would have noticed it sooner or later. She loved Angel, deeply and completely, her feelings for him were something she'd never felt towards anyone else and she doubted she would feel something like that ever again. It had been right to dump Riley and suddenly she didn't feel responsible for his death anymore, it had been his decision to come to LA. He was trained in combat and he had faced the danger out of his free will. A smile crept across her face, she felt at peace again. She would mourn her friend, she knew but she also knew she could live with this now. She squeezed Angel's hand wich made him again look at her. Her answer was a genuine smile.

"I am bored," Anya exclaimed. "Xander, can we just go home and have sex?"

Her boyfriend went deep red and looked to the ground. After all these years he was still not comfortable with Anya's comments about their private life.

Cordelia laughed out loud: "God, Xander. Does she think of anything else at sometime?"

"You are only jealous because you do not have such an attractive boyfriend," Anya replied.

The brunette looked at the former demon: "I am not jealous, believe me, I have been there and I don't. want. him. back."

"Girls," Xander tried to step in. "Can we just stop that! As much as I like two girl's bickering about me."

"Please," Cordelia exclaimed rolling her eyes. "Will you get over yourself!"

"Guys," Willow raised her hands. "Stop it now." She looked back and forth between the three of them and when they nodded hesitantly, she turned to Buffy, rolling her eyes now: "Kids," she said with a short laugh.

Suddenly they heard a scream, it was a female voice and the person was obviously in panic. Angel and Buffy were speeding into the direction of the voice in an instant, the gang following on their heels. They ran around a corner when another scream was to be heard. The slayer looked at her boyfriend: "I think it came from the building there," she said pointing at an old warehouse opposite to them.

He nodded: "Let's go," and was about to cross the street when her hand held him back.

"It's the perfect ambush, you know."

"Maybe, but we cannot ignore this," he replied.

"I know," she looked him straight in the eye: "But promise to be careful. Please."

"I promise," he smiled and caught her lips in sweet quick kiss. Then he nodded and both entered the warehouse. The gang had reached them by now. Buffy turned to them: "You stay behind us. Do you understand!" It was a statement, not a question and everyone nodded in response.

Angel and Buffy turned left and followed the noises they still heard but which didn't seem as loud as before. "I hope we are not too late," the former vampire whispered, when a voice suddenly came from behind the group: "No, you are just right in time, Angelus."

The group turned and stared at the figure in black standing in front of them, holding a gun in each hand. Angel's eyes widened in surprise while Buffy let out a gasp: "Oh god," she whispered, before her world went black.

...

Part 17

Buffy's body slumped down and Angel caught her the last possible second to prevent her from falling hard to the ground. His concerned gaze wandered over her features and relieved he realised that she was unconscious but seemed fine otherwise.

"Poor little slayer," the attacker's voice mocked with feigned pitty. "She looks really sweet when she is helpless."

The gang still stared at the man standing in front of them, not able to believe their eyes, Willow was surprisingly the first to find her voice again: "Mr. Chambers," she said, her voice still full of disbelief.

He cocked an eyebrow at her: "It seems to surprise you," his eyes wandered over the whole group. "All of you."

"But why? I do not understand," Willow wanted to know. "You are married to Buffy's mother," she added as if this would make more sense.

"Please! As you might guess this was nothing but cover. I just wanted to stay in touch with the slayer and this was my best shot. Joyce," he said the name with disgust.

"Oh god." Buffy slowly came to her senses and looked at Angel who was kneeling on the floor holding her in his arms. "Angel," she whispered and then her head moved to Frank. "Why?," she asked him. She shook her head and tried to get the dizzy feeling out of her mind, it worked but the nausea in her stomach was still there.

"Why? God, you are all so pathetic. You killed my sister, little girl."

"Your sister?," Buffy frowned. "I do not know your sister. What the hell are you talking about?" She took Angel's offered hand and stood up.

"Maggie Walsh," he replied, stepping nearer and pointing at Angel's head with one of the guns. "She was my sister and you are responsible for her death."

"She tried to kill us," Willow jumped in. "Buffy only protected us."

Frank did not look at Willow, his eyes stayed on the slayer: "She was so smart, all her ideas about testing demons. She was about to create a better world, breeding beings above us and you destroyed everything."

"So you planned to take revenge," the slayer said. "But why didn't you just kill me?"

"Kill you? Please, I am not stupid. That would only be half the fun. You took my sister away. No, it had to be someone you really cared for," he replied, his eyes wandering to Angel.

"But why did you marry my mother?" Buffy was tring to imagine how Joyce would react to this. It would destroy her world. First the divorce from her father and now this.

"I had to know you," Frank told her, interrupting her thoughts. "Really know you. For some time I thought Riley would be the one," suddenly he smirked. "But that is no problem anymore, is it? The fool really thought he could go after me and Maggie once told me he was bright," he sighed and rolled his eyes. "Nevermind. I was about to take your mother, although I realised your connection wasn't that strong. Then I thought Willow ... however suddenly the fate brought him," he again looked at Angel. "Your love is almost tangible, I just knew he would be the best choice. Besides, he's been a vampire, my sister would be on my side, I just know it."

"You are sick," Buffy shouted and made a step forward when Angel's hand held her back. She looked at him and saw him shaking his head no. He was right. There was no way reaching her stepfather, oh god, she thougth, before he was able to fire his gun, the gun that was pointing at Angel's head. The former vampire on the other hand saw the other gun pointing at the slayer's heart and stayed frozen in place.

"Maybe," he smiled. "But I am the one with the guns, right." He suddenly laughed. "I never dreamed I would get you and your friends all at once. What do you think, little Buffy, who should be the first?" His eyes wandered over the group and rested on Cordelia. "You are pretty. You would make a nice corpse."

"Thanks," the brunette replied, cocking an eyebrow. "But I'd prefer to stay alive and breathing. Pale just isn't my colour." She took a deep breath, but was desperate to keep her cool. She would never show that sick jerk how scared she was.

"Alive?," he mocked at her. "Well, that is not really an option tonight. Just to inform you, it is only a question who is first. You are all going to die tonight."

"If I still had my powers I would go after you," Anya said, her trembling hand reaching for Xander. He tried to smile assuringly but failed miserably.

"A former demon," Frank grinned. "It must be a nightmare to be stuck in a mortal body. Now," his voice suddenly changed. "I think this was enough talk for tonight. I think I am just going to kill you now." One gun was still pointing at the group, with the other he scratched his cheek as if he seemed to think what to do next.

Willow suddenly felt Tara's hand on her back. The blonde witch whispered: "Do you see the shovel in the corner." The red-head nodded slightly. Her girlfriend continued: "It is a difficult task, but we can do it. I need you to concentrate, to link your mind with mine. Do you understand?"

Willow nodded again. She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate, to shut out anything that was happening in the room espcially the man with the scary guns. She opened her mind and was reaching out for the link, Tara wanted to create. First it didn't seem to work, but suddenly she felt a connection and smiled slightly.

'We have to reach over there', Tara told her over the link.

'Let's try', Willow replied.

Both turned their heads towards the shovel.

'We have to be very careful, there's only one chance. And it has to be quick,' Tara said over the telepathic link.

'Thanks, that really helps,' the red-head told her.

Tara giggled slightly behind her: 'We can do it, I know it.'

Willow nodded again. They connected their concentration and suddenly Willow felt her mind touching the shovel.

'Pick up the shovel with your mind, now. Good. And now hurl it at him. NOW', Tara's mind screamed.

Fortunately Frank was too concentrated on Buffy and Angel to see the both witches, not that anyone noticed. They were working in total silence. So he never saw that suddenly a shovel was flying in his direction, hitting his head with a loud crash and leaving him unconscious. The eyes of the other's went wide and then they immediately turned them to Willow and Tara who seemed a little bit exhausted but smiled proudly.

"Wow," Buffy said, grinning at her friend. "That was ... wow."

"Thanks," Willow grinned back, slightly bowing her head, while Tara was shyly looking to the ground.

"I think we should better take care he will not be a danger anymore," Xander said, walking over to the man, who was now laying on the floor. He pulled at his belt and used it to bind Frank's arms, while Anya picked the guns up.

Cordelia on the other hand had pulled out her cell phone and was already calling the police.

"He was Pro Walsh's brother," Buffy said, looking at Angel. "She was my psych teacher at college and she was nuts."

"Seems to run in the family," he replied smiling at her. "I am glad it is over now."

She nodded: "Me too." She reached out and embraced him tightly. "I am so glad, you are safe. He tried to kill you because of me." Tears were now running down her cheek.

"Not because of you," he said, cupping her face in his hands. "Because of what you are. Don't forget that."

"What I was," she tried to smile as well. "I am not a slayer anymore, not officially that is. Angel, how am I going to tell my mom? She will be desperate."

"We talk to your dad, maybe he can help. I know your mother and father are not close anymore, but they share a past. And we will be there for her. Maybe she can come to LA, spent some time with you."

"Yeah," she nodded. "How do you always know what to say?" She smiled at him.

"Because I love you," he smiled back.

"I love you too," she replied, pulling his head down for a kiss.

"Oh geez, get a room," Cordelia shouted behind them, while the noises of the police cars reached the building.

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