Okay so this was the first fanfic I ever wrote. It was a long time ago and I'm afraid it isn't very good. I wrote it as a birthday present for my friend Anne, who was completely depressed after Becoming and the beginning of season 3. I didn't want to send it out but Anne convinced me it's worth a try. Of course it isn't completely the same it was at the beginning, because I rewrote some parts. So maybe it's better than it was initially.
Dedication: to Anne (ha!)
AN: Just pretend that Angel didn't exactly lose his soul, but that the demon took over control in Surprise.

Prologue

As the kiss became more passionate a light appeared above Buffy and Angel and the two tortured souls of teacher and pupil went to an eternal reunion. Suddenly Buffy and Angel broke the kiss and looked into each other's eyes. The slayer whispered, "Angel?"

Immediately the vampire's eyes became yellow and a growl escaped his throat, but suddenly the eyes turned human again and he whispered, "I love you."

Buffy was frozen in shock but within the second the eyes turned yellow again, the growl became louder and he jumped away from her. She could only stare after his disappearing form.

Part 1

Buffy was still walking in a daze when she left the school building and found Giles waiting for her: "Are you alright?" he asked concerned.

She shook her head to clear her mind and then replied: "The two are together again, in peace." She took a deep breath, "Angel was there too."

"Oh God," the watcher took her arm, "Are you alright? Did he hurt you?"

"No," she shook her head, "it was so strange Giles. We," she closed her eyes, "I have to be alone for a while."

"Sure," Giles nodded. "Do you want me to drive you home?"

A ghost smile crossed her features, "No, I only ride in your car if I have to. But thanks. I need to walk."

He smiled back, "See you tomorrow then?"

"Yes," she replied and walked down the street.

She needed to think about the happenings of the evening. She could clearly remember the words "I love you" from his mouth. But no, she thought unhappily, only the ghost of the teacher made him say them, why do I lie to myself. He's lost forever. But why would his eyes change back for a moment, what could've caused this?

She had to talk about it, but not to Giles. Giles would never understand her feelings and she couldn't even blame him. But Willow would understand, the only person she could trust with her thoughts. She looked at her watch, the red-head would be probably asleep by now. Oh hell, so she had to get up. She went to the Rosenburg residence, climbed up the tree and knocked at Willow's bedroom window. She grinned at the muffled sound from inside and suddenly her friend appeared in the door, blinking sleepily. "Buffy?" Her eyes went wide, "Oh god, has something happened?"

"Calm down, no catastrophy or anything, but I need to talk to you. I just need to."

"Sure, come in," the red-head invited her and moved aside.

When they were seated on the bed Buffy slowly began to explain the events of the evening. When she was finished, Willow hugged the slayer, "Oh, Buffy, that must have been so weird. What do you think about it?"

"I don't know," the blonde shook her head unhappily. "What should I think? I mean it wasn't my Angel in there, but for a second, a short second..."

The red-head nodded, "I can understand. But maybe you only want to believe it. I know how much you miss him, Buffy."

"I do." She burried her head in her hands and groaned, "Willow, I miss him, I miss him so much."

The young witch gathered her friend in her arms and held her tightly.

Chapter 2

Angelus ran out of the school building into the night, trying to get rid of the scent of humanity by simply running as fast as he could. But at the next corner his head started aching and had a feeling as if he couldn't breathe anymore, which was rather odd as it had been a long time since he had to breathe at all. The pain in his head became more intense with every passing second and finally he fell to the ground, crawling to a house wall he tried to sit, supporting his back with the wall behind him. He began to hear voices, he saw flash-backs, Buffy in his old apartment, the morning after her 17th birthday.

The happiness he felt and the horrible things the monster said. Oh God, Buffy! The next flash-back, Jenny Calender ... oh God! The images were coming so fast his while mind was muddled. Shaking his head in his daze he couldn't understand what had happened. He hadn't been a killer for hundred years, he had been safe, why did the monster come back again?

Then Willow standing in the school and he stood with her, tried to bite her and Buffy standing next to them, her face showing the horror she felt, the confusion.

Dru and Spike at the factory, the Judge... to many images to process, too much ...

But where was Buffy now? Was she alright? Was she ... alive? Yes she had to be alive, there was no image of him killing her, but then everything was so confusing he couldn't be sure of anything. Then one thought entered his mind, he would take care that his demon would never hurt her again. The easiest way was to get rid of that body, then the demon wouldn't have a home anymore, no opportunity to come back!

Searching his eyes wandered around looking for a wooden object to finish this here and now, when suddenly an image materialised in front of him. He gasped in shock and pressed his back to the wall. "Oh God," he whispered.

"Hello Angel," Jenny Calender smiled down at him. There was no rage in her eyes, they were clear and ... friendly.

"I... I'm so sorry," he stuttered.

"I know," she said gently. "But there isn't anything to be sorry for. You didn't do anything. You had no control over the demon's actions."

"No...," he shook his head emphatically.

"No," she replied firmly and reached out to touch him. She wasn't human anymore, so her touch was like a breeze. "You have to believe me. And fast, because I don't have much time to discuss it with you. Don't you want to know why you're back in control."

Not able to speak he simply nodded.

"You remember the moment just before when you told her you loved her?"

He nodded again.

"This was a historical moment. Never ever a soul won over a demon before. Never ever before a soul was stronger than the demon in control. Your soul was the first - even if it was only for five seconds. That was so amazing."

"And the result is that I got my soul back?" the vampire asked cautiously.

"You were a drunken bastard 200 years ago, a monster was in control of your body for a long time after that, but you became someone, especially when your love began to grow. You became a strong person, your soul became so strong that you didn't lose it that night, but that it was just suppressed by the demon. There's prophecy that one day a soul will win over the demon and it seems it was yours. As a result the vampire's soul will be restored forever." She went on for a while, told him about the happiness clause, he hadn't known before.

"So there isn't a clause anymore?" He asked finally. He had to be sure of this, it would change his world.

"No. There isn't. You earned your soul this time. For me as a great-grand-daughter of Janna, the girl you killed a long time ago it is the final gift to see a soul stronger than a demon."

"And what now?" Angel slowly stood up. "How can I face them? How can I look into their eyes? How can I expect them to look at me? After what happened they must hate me."

"I don't hate you," she replied simply. "Buffy will forgive you because she loves you and knows it wasn't you. As for Giles," a cryptic smile spread across her face. "I will take care of him tonight. And now live and help her. That's your destiny. And don't try to kill yourself again."

Startled he looked at her, "You knew?"

Now she grinned, "I'm a ghost!" With a giggle she was gone

*****

Buffy sat still on Willow's bed, the tears had run dry, but the sad look, the lost look, was still in her eyes. Willow's heart went out for her. Especially since she dated Oz she knew what her friend was missing although she knew what Buffy had with Angel was not to compare to her very new feelings for the werewolf.

After ten minutes the slayer stoo and hugged her friend, "Thanks for listening Will. I needed that. I think I still hope...," she trailed off.

"Of course you hope," the witch said with a nod.

"But now I understand, that there isn't any hope left. He's lost forever. Oh Willow, why can't I stop loving him. I miss him so much."

They hugged each other again. But then the slayer pulled back, "I think I will do a late patrol now. I cannot go back to bed. Thanks again."

"I'm glad you came," Willow gave her a smile, "Take care."

*****

Angel stood stunned for another hour trying to digest what he had just heard. Slowly the images in his head became clearer and it hurt deep down in the core of his soul. He could see Buffy's eyes staring at him when he mocked her for the first night they spent together. He had to see her, explain her, that he never meant to hurt her.

And then there was Acathla, the strong demon now with Dru and Spike.

He had to find Buffy. As fast as possible.

*****

Willow was just back in her bed when she heard another knock on her door. Discussion why everyone seemed to love her tonight, she patted to the door and stifled a cry the last possible second. "What do you want," she demanded, remembering that he couldn't enter her house anymore.

Averting his eyes in shame Angel replied, "I'm looking for Buffy. She wasn't at home, so I thought..."

"You've no business with her. Leave her alone. Didn't you do enough already," she was surprised to behave so brave but her heart-broken friend had given the young witch more stregth.

Angel on the other hand felt horrible in seeing Willow's fear. He liked her a lot and she'd been always loyal to Buffy and even to him. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I know I have no right to come to you ... after ... what I did, but I didn't know where to go." For the first time he looked straight into her eyes.

Willow stared at him. She felt irritated, could it really be... his eyes were different ... the mocking, cold look was gone. "Who are you?", she asked.

"I ... I just got my soul back or it got back in control," he explained. "It's difficult to explain, but I need to find Buffy. Please help me."

Slowly a smile spread across her face, "Angel," she said. "It's true. She was right," her voice became excited. "Buffy went on patrol. You'll find her at Restfield."

He smiled back. "Thank you. You're a good friend Willow. And I will explain. But later. Now I have to find her." With this he was gone.

Chapter 3

Buffy went a last round by the mansion, carefully avoiding any meeting with its new inhabitants. Usually she would look forward to face Spike, Drusilla or even Angel, but she was to shaken that night. The encounter in the highschool had caused her inner wounds to bleed heavily.

Sighing inwardly she turned to go home when suddenly five vampires appeared out of nowhere, probably some of Angel's minions, she thought. Certainly not what she was looking forward too, but it was her damned duty. She staked the first two easily but then the remaining three attacked her all at once. Oh, not good, she thought instantly and saw her worst expectations proved when two held her while the third tried to access her neck. She tried to kick him, but to no avail. The situation was only too familiar but this time there wouldn't be a gorgeous stranger coming to her rescue.

It was all she could do but keep from faining when a voice suddenly growled, "Good dogs don't bite," and the third vampire disintegrated into dust right before her eyes.

Her instincts kicking in Buffy staked the remaining two without a sweat. She dusted off her shirt and only then dared to turn around, not that she hadn't immediately felt his presence. Raising her brows she looked at him, "So why did you help, hmm? Is this a new sort of ..." The words died in her throat. She looked at the vampire standing in front of her. She blinked several times then shook her head, desperately trying to clear her mind from the image she thought it could only be a dream.

Angel just stood there, unmoving, not saying one word. He wanted to drown in her eyes, wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch her but knew there was no way he could do it. He wasn't even sure if she would allow him to step nearer.

Swallowing hard she stepped closer, her eyes never leaving his. "How?" she breathed incredulously. "How is this possible?"

She knew! She didn't doubt him for a second. If his heart would beating he was sure it would skip a beat right now and he was glad that the clause was gone because the feeling right now was damned near to true happiness. He could see it in her eyes which were shining with happy tears. God, how could she be happy seeing him. After all he'd done she looked at him like that? "I ... I didn't understand it first. But then Miss Calender ... or her ghost ... came and explained it to me."

She reached out with a trembling hand and touched his cheek, "So it's not a dream?" she whispered. "It's really you. Oh God, Angel."

"Buffy," was all he managed to say. And then after a while, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't," she replied wincing when she realised her voice had sounded sharper than intended. "I missed you. I thought I'd lost you forever."

"I know. Buffy, I..."

"No," she held up a hand. "Just hold me," her voice was small and he could see that she was desperately trying to suppress the sobs that threatened to escape her throat, "Can you just hold me, Angel. I've missed your arms more than anything in the world. It's the only place I feel safe. So would you? Hold me, I mean?"

With a groan he pulled her to him and held her tight. Instantly her arms went around his waist and she pressed herself close. "Whenever things went rought the last months," she muffled against his chest, "I wanted to run into your arms, but you weren't there. I went to your apartment, dozens of times hoping...," her voice broke and a sob escaped her mouth.

Soothingly Angel stroked her back and gently kissed her skull. "I'm not going anywhere," he tried to assure her. "God, Buffy, I missed you. I missed you too."

"B... but," she sobbed. "I..it c..coul ha-happen again."

"No," he said firmly slightly pulling back to look into her eyes. "Miss Calender explained everything to me. In conquering the demon - when I told you I loved you just before - I got my soul permanently. It won't go anywhere."

"Really?" she asked with a small voice, but hope shone in her eyes.

"Really." He managed to give her a small smile, but his gaze sobered instantly. "I'm so sorry for ... everything."

"Don't," she repeated. "I said it before. You have nothing to apologize for. You couldn't know what would happen. And afterwards you weren't in control."

"That's exactly what Jenny Calender said."

"And she was right," Buffy said with a firm nod.

They stood together then for what seemed like an eternity, just holding each other, feeling the closeness and the slayer realised that this was the first time she was really relaxed since the night he'd turned into his evil self.

"This is nice," she sighed and broke the content silence.

"Hmmm," he replied and pulled her even closer. He wanted to stay like this forever, feeling her body near to his, feeling her heart beating against his chest. But there was something he had to tell her, something that couldn't wait. "Buffy," he said and the tone of his voice made her pull back and look up.

"What?" traces of panic were evident in her eyes.

Quickly he kissed her on the forehead, for the first time daring to bring his lips to her face, "There's something we have to talk about. And believe I'd rather not, but ... when I ... well... when I was with Spike and Drusilla we ... went to a museum and stole some rock."

"You?" she asked with wide eyes.

"You know?" he asked back.

"Yes ... no ... I mean yes, Giles went there after the rock was stolen, but we didn't know it was you. We only guessed, but ... anyway. So you stole the rock."

"Yes," he replied with a nod. "But it's not the rock. It's what's inside. There's a dormant demon called Acathla."

"Aca... what?"

"Acathla," he repeated. "A very strong demon. It was active over thousand years ago and killed hundreds ... thousands of people before a brave knight conquered it. But it wasn't destroyed entirely only dormant as I said before. They burried it deep so that nobody would find the demon again. But unfortunately some archeologists found it and brought it to the museum.

"At the moment it is nothing more than some heavy, ugly stone with a sword protruding from its chest, but if it becomes active it can suck the whole world into hell - literally. Every human being ... just everything. Now you can use your imagination how pleasant that would be." He had to take a deep unnecessary breath at the end of his speech.

"Well then we have to go and prevent it," she said simply after a while.

Disbelieving and confused he looked at her, "That's all you have to say? Buffy, did you listen, I helped to steal that demon ... no rewind that, I had the idea and now ...,"

He was stopped when the slayer laid a finger over his lips. "Shhh," she made, stood on her tiptoes and caught his lips with hers. "I told you before, it wasn't you. You remember what Miss Calender said, right?"

"Yes," he gave her a loopsided grin. "You won't let me take the guilt."

"Never," she said firmly.

"Well, however, maybe you should talk to Giles about it."

"I agree, there's some research needed." She looked at him. "Certainly the sooner the better."

"Spike isn't the brightest of vampires," Angel said, "but I ... the demon ... told him everything and ..."

"Right," she nodded. "And I can also see that you don't want to just stumble into Giles' apartment or the library, but maybe we could go and see Willow. She's the true research girl after all."

*

So it happened the third time that night that someone was knocking at Willow's window. Muttering a curse she got out of bed and patted sleepily towards the door of her balcony, silently discussing why she'd tried to sleep that night in the first place. Maybe she'd send out some invitations and have a party instead.

But the second she saw the two persons in front of her a smile crept over her features, "Hey. Good to see you two together again."

Buffy smiled at her a bit forced, "You're probably the only one who thinks that," she said but squeezed Angel's hand she hadn't let go off since the moment they'd met in the graveyard.

"Oz will be supportive too," Willow assured the couple. "I'm sure he will. After all he's a werewolf and can relate ... in some way." She nodded to emphasise her point.

"Thank you, Willow. And I'm sorry ... about ...,"

She waved her hand at him, "It's okay. I mean it wasn't really you, right? And the fish were quite new, we hadn't really time to bond. Just the idea you ... he ... well," she shook her head, "that someone was in my room, was a bit creepy."

"I'm so..."

"No," she held up her hand. "It's the first time I see a genuine smile on Buffy's face. That's worth more than anything else," she said taking her friend's free hand. "I'm so happy for you both."

"Willow," Angel looked at the red-head. "There's a reason we came to you."

"Yes," Buffy nodded. "Will we need your help. Tell her," she looked at the vampire. And so he did. After he was finished, the witch gazed at him thoughtfully.

"Well, that calls for some serious research, but ... I mean, Giles...," she trailed off.

"That's the reason we came now," the slayer said. "Maybe the internet?" She gave her friend a hopeful look.

"Or," Willow's face lit up, "we could go to the library now. Giles wouldn't be there and we could have our own little late-night research party. I call Oz. I'm sure he'll help too and he can drive us." With this she turned and went for her phone.

Buffy looked at Angel and grinned, "Leave it to Willow to get excited over some research." Then she sighed, "But I'll do anything as long as you're in it."

Chapter 4

So it happened that an hour later four silent figures entered the Sunnydale Highschool and found their way through the dark hallways to the library. Willow giggled several times while Angel and Buffy exchanged amused glances. Oz held the red-head's hand, said nothing but a smile was on his lips. There wasn't really anything funny in that situation, but they had all been so tense during the last months that the tension had to be released somehow.

Only minutes later every one of them sat in front of a book while Willow had started the computer. She had brought her beloved powdered dognuts and Oz had thankfully thought about some soft-drinks. So it was already four a.m. when the young witch suddenly shrieked, "Guys, guys, I think I found something."

Instantly three expectant pairs of eyes turned towards her, "There's something about Acathla and a key." She frowned, "It's not completely clear but obviously there's some key to ... bring the demon back to life." She scanned the screen again and when she realised that the others were still looking at her she blushed, "Oh, sorry. Oh no, that doesn't sound good. Obviously Angel hasn't exaggerated with his stories about what this demon can do. Listen, here it says, 'once revived the demon has the power to pull every being, human or not, into the hellmouth where the humans are condemned to suffer the eternal torments of hell'."

"Definitely not where I want to go," Oz said dryly and opened a can of coke.

"Anything else?" the slayer wanted to know.

"No, not really. The key is mentioned several times, but they don't elaborate it," she moved her shoulders in a helpless gesture. "Sorry."

"No need to be sorry," Angel said quickly and smiled at her assuringly. "I studied some book too, while ... well, while I was with Spike and Dru and all I understood was that in order to remove the sword and to reopen the portal some sort of sacrifice is required. The demon was sure to know what it was, but I'm not." He quickly glanced to Buffy who reached out and took his hand.

"What did Angelus think?"

He took a deep unnecessary breath, "He thought he had to kill several humans to be worthy. I'm not so sure though. This demon might be evil, but somehow that doesn't seem sacred enough." He shook his head. "I think there must be something else. Something we don't know yet."

"I have something," Oz interrupted them. "Here it says as soon as the sword is removed and the vortex opened it can only be closed by the same sacrifice that opened it," he frowned, "doesn't sound very clear." He looked up, "any suggestions?"

"No," Angel shook his head and his shoulders sagged. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "If it wasn't for me we wouldn't be dealing with this mess."

"Stop that," came Buffy's sharp reply the same second Willow exclaimed, "That's not true, it wasn't you." Both girls looked at each other and smiled then their eyes turned towards the vampire.

"Angel," Willow said, "see my resolved face," her chin came up and the vampire couldn't help but be amazed how unconditionally they took him back into their group again. But then Giles and Xander weren't present, he thought grimly. "Besides. It won't help if you burry yourself in grief and guilt. We need your help, Buffy needs your help to stop whatever might happen with this demon."

"She's right," the slayer squeezed his hand. "No way I can go against Spike and Dru by myself, I need your help."

"Sorry," he gave her a sheepish smile, "it's just so hard. I see all these images. I admit it's easier because of Jenny but still."

"I know," Buffy moved closer to him. "Or better I understand. Of course I can't know what you're going through, but you're not alone. We're here for you, all of us. We're your friends."

Angel had to swallow hard to keep himself from bawling right there. He was glad his more than two centuries had taught him one thing or the other about self-control, anything else would've been too embarrassing. Still he felt his eyes water and his voice was hoarse when he replied, "Thank you. You can't know what that means to me."

After a moment Willow cleared her throat, "Uhm, guys ... maybe we should stop now and go home. We could meet tomorrow again, maybe Giles knows more. I mean he's really bookish and he's the watcher after all," she sighed, "and it'll be sunrise in some hours."

"That's fine with me," Buffy said when she saw Angel nod.

"Do you want to drive with us?" Oz asked but already knew the answer.

"No," the slayer shook her head, "Angel and I will walk."

*

For a while they walked the dark streets in silence. After some minutes their hands met and held. They didn't look at each other, just enjoyed the feeling of being connected to each other again. Hand to hand, soul to soul.

It was Angel who broke the silence by asking, "Can I walk you home?"

Instantly the slayer stopped and looked at him, "Sure. My mom isn't home, she's somewhere looking at art for the gallery. But at a second thought I could walk *you* home."

"Whatever you want," he replied and smiled at her.

"Fine," she nodded and the started walking again. "Everything is the way it was when you left," she said almost casually. "In your apartment I mean."

He stopped again, staring at her, "You ... you've been there?"

"Uh-huh."

He swallowed - hard. "But why?"

"As I told you before, I missed you. It was there where I felt closest to you. In your bed I could still smell your scent. When I closed my eyes I could pretend you'd be still there," she admitted.

"Oh Buffy," he whispered. "I missed you too." Without warning he pulled her to him, closing his arms around her and holding her. "God, how I missed this. You."

"Angel?" she asked after some minutes.

"Hmmm?"

"Didn't you tell me that Jenny said something about your soul's being permanently returned to you?"

"Yes, why?"

Buffy smiled inwardly. He was so cute. "Then why are we standing here on the street. It's been some months but I have a definite memory about your bed being very comfortable." She looked at him innocently, but he could see the mischieveous glimpse in her eyes.

"You can't possible think about ..."

"Why not?"

He pulled away and took a step back. "Buffy we ... we can't do that."

She let out an exasperated sigh, "And why ever not?"

"After ..."

"Especially after," she interrupted him. "And now be quiet. Never say something that could make a slayer angry."

He couldn't help but grin, "Angry, huh? Let me tell you, it's definitely not anger I smell right now."

She blushed and swallowed, "You ... you can ... smell," she motined at herself, "that?"

"Uh-huh," he nodded. "But even if I couldn't. You were quite obvious with your words and actions."

"Angel," her voice became pleading all of a sudden, "I want to wake up in your arms. Don't send me away. Think about Acathla and the vortex. Maybe in some days we're all sucked into hell. Wouldn't it be a shame to waste precious time, motherless time, if I may remind you."

"You're not fighting fair, Miss Summers," he teased.

"Who said I had to? You know the saying, 'In Love and War...," she trailed off.

"I know," he chuckled and pulled her close again. "I'm very sorry," he whispered into her ear.

"For what now?"

"For the first morning after. What ... what he...,"

"I know," she interrupted him. "It was only at first that I was hurt. As soon as I realised it wasn't you..." She gave him a brilliant smile, "I began to remember what you had whispered while you were making love to me."

"Good," he breathed while he began to nibble at her earlobe. Then he stopped and looked at her again, "Buffy, are you really sure?"

"Absolutely," she said without hesitation.

"Alright, then let's go."

And they ran the rest of the way.

Chapter 5

Waking up the next morning Buffy instantly reached out only to touch ...NOTHING!

Or precisely the empty sheets to her left. She bolted upright in the bed, her eyes frantically searching for Angel in the dim light of his apartment. "Angel!" Her voice was high and holding a note of panic but it quickly turned into relief when she heard the answer.

"Buffy?"

Only seconds later he came around the corner, "My love. What's the matter?" he asked concerned.

She forced a smile on her lips, "Nothing."

But he knew, "You thought it was happening again, right?"

Her smile faded from her lips and embarrassed she realised that her hands were trembling. "Y-you weren't there," she stuttered. "I - I ..."

"I'm sorry," he whispered and gathered her in his arms while she started to cry. "I was just feeding. Thanks for keeping the fridge stocked, by the way. You were sleeping so peacefully that I hadn't the heart to wake you and I was sure I'd be back in time."

"I-its o-okay," she sobbed against his shoulder.

"No it's not," he said firmly, "and I'm sorry. But I'm here and still myself."

"I love you," she whispered in his hair. "What time is it?"

"Only six a.m., why?"

She slightly pulled back, now recovered again, "Because school starts at nine today."

"You're insatiable, Miss Summers," he grinned.

"Well it's been a long time, so you have a lot to make up to me."

"Always your humble servant," he joked and then lost himself in her.

*

Two and a half hours later Buffy left Angels apartment, barely able to keep her eyes open but content and relaxed for the first time in months. Even the danger Acathla represented faded in the face of her new found happiness.

Willow and Oz were the first she met and both smiled at her conspiratively, "Now did you enjoy your reunion," the red-head asked.

"Will please," the slayer shook her head, "these things are private."

"But did you do ... stuff?" the young witch didn't give up easily.

"Stuff?" Buffy asked innocently, "What stuff?"

"Well, I dunno, kissing and things."

"There was kissing too," the slayer grinned and gave her a pointed look.

"Too ... uh .. oh, OH!," Willow turned beet red, while Oz bit his lower lip. Then she sobered instantly, "And Angel is ... uhm ... I mean."

"Yes, Will, he's still Angel."

"God," the red-head released a breath, "That's really great!," she chirped and hugged the slayer. Pulling back she asked, "Did you tell anybody else?"

"No," Buffy shook her head, "That's the hard part. Xand and ... Giles. He's the one who lost the most through Angelus. I can't even blame him, if ...," she trailed off not willing to say it loud. The mere idea of the two most important men in her life hating each other or more precisely the one hating the other, was something she didn't want to deal with.

"Whatever happens, we'll be supportive," Willow offered.

"Thanks Will, you're the best," Buffy gave her a quick smile. "See you than after classes in the library," they told Oz.

*

Giles was looking up from the book he was reading when he saw the two girls coming through the door. "Someone has been in the library tonight," he said without greeting. "I wonder if it was one of Angel's minions. They have been here before," he reminded them, recalling the event when one of Spike's minions had stolen a book.

"How do you know?" Willow asked and tried to look innocently, but failed and reminded more of child who was caught stealing choloate from the fridge.

"Because books were scattered on the table," the watcher replied not looking at them. Buffy and the red-head quickly exchanged a glance. "They've read about Acathla, the demon that was stolen in a rock from the museum. This might be really serious," he looked up, "they've been reading about how to revive it."

"Giles...," the slayer began, but he went on.

"This is a very dangerous demon. I haven't told you so far but I think it's time to do so ..."

"Giles," Buffy interrupted him impatiently.

"Yes?"

"It wasn't any vampires. It was," she bit her lower lip, "it was Willow, Oz and I who came and looked through the books," she finally admitted.

"You?" the watcher asked surprised. "But how? Do you know something I don't? Did you come across one of Angel's minions, did anyone..."

"Giles!," her voice was impatient again. When she saw he was finally listening to her, she said, "No, I didn't come across one of his minions. It was ... well, something came up."

"Something?" He looked back and forth between the two girls. "Why didn't you tell me in that instant? Buffy, this is serious."

"I know," she cried. And more calmer, "I know. Giles, something occured last night. And it just wasn't the right time to confront you." She took a deep breath, "The reason we didn't call on you was the fourth person who was with us last night."

"The fourth person? I thought you just said ..."

"I know," Buffy pulled out a chair and sat down, "Giles, Angel was here last night."

"Angel?!," he jumped up from his seat, "he was here? Himself? Buffy, this was completely...," he shook his head, put his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Looking at her again, he asked much calmer, "What happened? Did you fight him?"

"No," she shook her head. "Giles," she leaned forward and as soon as he sat down again, she went on, "Angel came with us. He is Angel again, Giles."

"Angel again? What do you ... no, Buffy," he shook his head emphatically, "Don't fall for this. He is one of the most dangerous creatures ever walking this earth."

"Not anymore," she replied softly, "He's got his soul back, Giles."

"How?" he asked, clearly angry. "Some good spirit came and gave it back, or what?"

"Something like that," she said softly and left him stunned. "He told me it was a reward for ..." and so she told him the whole story Angel had told her the night before.

Contrary to what she was expecting he smiled at the end of her story. "Then this wasn't a dream."

"Giles?" Willow asked concerned.

"I had a visit last night. I thought it was a dream, but obviously it was much more." Looking up he saw the three teenagers staring at him. "Jenny. Jenny came last night and told me the same story. She said I should open my heart and see that Angel isn't the same anymore. She made me promise not to forget what a great friend he has been...," embarrassed he interrupted himself and cleared his throat. Straightening in his chair he looked at his slayer, "And I promised. So if he wants to come," he gave her a smile.

"Oh Giles," she felt happy tears well up in her eyes. "Thank you."

"And you're sure about his soul?"

"Yeah, it's safe. We tested it tonight." This time she grinned seeing him blush.

And then they told him about everything they'd found out about Acathla. He listened and nodded at the end, "So I say we need some more research done."

"Goody, another research party!," Willow exclaimed happily.

Buffy just shook her head and laughed, "What is this about Will and research, seems she's got addicted to it."

Chapter 6

They met again after dark in the library. Willow had called Xander and Cordelia to join them for some urgent research to be done but had left out any information about Angel regaining his soul.

Buffy could feel Angel's tension about meeting Giles again and although she'd assured him the watcher wasn't harbouring any hard feelings he wasn't entirely convinced. Recalling all the events of the past months the slayer couldn't really blame him for it. The guilt he felt was still strong, no word Jenny or any other person said would completely ease it, she could only hope her presence would give him the strength to deal with it on a daily basis.

When she saw him stop in front of the swing doors she took his hand and squeezed it tightly. He smiled at her gratefully, took a deep unnecessary breath and pushed the doors open. Exept for Xander and Cordelia the others were already there. Willow and Oz smiled in a matter of greeting and Buffy inwardly hugged them for it. She couldn't wish for better friends. It was the moment when Giles stepped out of his office and stopped in mid-stride seeing the vampire standing beside his slayer. His presence hit the watcher like a fist into the gut but surprisingly - although they shared the same body - he found only a slight resemblance between the soulless and the ensouled version.

If Buffy hadn't loved Giles before she would've now. After only a minor hesitation he walked over to Angel and offered the vampire his hand, "Hello Angel." The watcher even managed a smile and then said, "I guess Buffy told you Jenny was visiting me last night."

"Yes," Angel nodded, his body still tense, his eyes only flickering quickly to the man who'd experienced so much pain by the hand he was shaking now. His esteem for the sometimes stiff Brit grew immensely. "But still...,"

"You don't need to apologize," Giles interrupted him firmly. "You were a victim the same way we were. Even worse, you have to live with all the memoires. I think none of us can even begin to imagine what that means."

"Giles, I...," Angel's voice was hoarse with emotion and he couldn't speak anymore.

The watcher laid his other hand on the vampire's shoulder. "I will never forget what the demon did," he said looking Angel straight into the eye. "But I will neither forget that you weren't in control when it happened." Releasing the vampire, Giles stepped slightly back. "And I'm glad it can't happen again."

Angel just nodded in response, still a complete loss of words.

Trying to ease the tension, the watcher went back to business, "Buffy, Willow and Oz told me everything you told them about Acathla. Is there anything else you can remember?"

The vampire shook his head, "No, I'm afraid I have told anything I know. I think it's safe to say that Spike and Drusilla have the demon now. And as crazy as Dru is I have no doubt they'll use it. Spike isn't very fond of hell, but he's so besotted with Dru he'll do anything to make her happy." Suddenly he had an idea, "But maybe the watcher diaries," he said and walked over to the desk scanning the books scattered over it. "As far as I know Acathla was put into earth about thousand years ago. Maybe some slayer," he shrugged, "I don't know." He turned and looked at Giles.

"That's a magnificent idea," the watcher exclaimed closing a thick book laying right in front of him. "What would we do without you, Angel!" And with this he disappeared into his office and they could hear him going through the books he had their in his private collection.

Buffy gazed at Angel and she could have cried seeing the relief in his eyes. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed herself to him, his arms encircled her as well and they still stood like that when Giles came back holding the diary triumphantly.

"I've got it," he declared, found a seat and began to flip through it, ignoring the amused looks of the others. Buffy and Willow exchanged a glance, Giles was in full watcher mode.

"There it is," he exclaimed after a minute, "It's all in a very stiff sort of language," he told them and ignored the giggle that escaped the two girls. "This watcher tells a lot about the demon," he said, scanning the pages, "and about the difficulties the people had to find a knight brave enough to fight it." He looked up for a moment and his gaze met Angel's. Then his eyes were on the pages again, "Ah, there, it seems to revive the demon the blood of someone worth it is needed."

"Not really big information," Buffy entangled herself from her boyfriend and walked to look over Giles's shoulder. "And my I say yuck! Why do these demons always have to look that ugly?"

Her watcher smiled despite of his concern and read aloud, "The worthy one is the one to touch the demon first." He shook his head and gazed at Angel, "Here's where you come in."

"Touch the demon first," the vampire spoke almost to himself, deep in thoughts. "But wouldn't that be one of the persons digging it out of the ground?" he quickly glanced at Giles.

The watcher thought about it for a second, then shook his head, "Not necessarily. The demon was inside of a large stone after all. They might not have touched the demon itself so far."

"It was still in the stone when I left," Angel informed him. "But I doubt it is anymore. Dru was very eager to look at it."

"So we can probably guess it'll be one of the minions getting the demon out of the stone," Giles closed the watcher diary and looked at the vampire.

"The question is, can they know it too?" Angel asked what everybody in the room thought. "I don't like this, Giles. Spike isn't the most brilliant of vampires but he isn't entirely stupid and Dru," he shrugged, "well she's psychic up to a certain amount."

"Psychic?" Willow's eyes went wide. "You mean she can see ... things?"

"Yeah," the vampire nodded. "She even could when she was a human. Being an insane vampire hasn't weakened it, she's just confused most of the times."

Giles was instantly concerned, "This might be serious. It could mean that she might know you got your soul back."

"Probably," Angel agreed. "But they would guess something's wrong anyway. I didn't return last night," he reminded them.

"Good for you," Buffy smiled at him and snuggled in his lap.

"You think?" he raised a teasing brow and she giggled.

Willow - always the romantic - almost sighed seeing them this way together again and Oz squeezed her hand, sensing something similar. Even Giles couldn't entirely ignore the way they looked at each other and so they almost jumped out of their skin when suddenly an angry voice came from the door.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Chapter 7

Xander, Cordelia's hand firmly in his, stepped into the library ignoring everybody, his eyes fixed on the couple now standing together and looking at him. Pointing at the vampire he asked, "What the hell is this freak doing here?"

The brunette cheerleader at his side let go of his hand and raised a brow, "It seems we have missed one or two things?"

"Angel got his soul back," Buffy began to explain, but was cut off by Xander's angry voice who spoke as if he hadn't listened at all.

"At a second thought I really don't care. Are you all out of your mind?"

"Xander," Giles' sharp voice finally managed to penetrate his anger and the boy looked up.

"What?"

"He is Angel again. The Angel we know," the watcher explained. "It's quite complicated right now, but it was a reward. And now he's here to help us."

"Help us?" Xander echoed, his eyes glittering with hatred, "How long? Until they get groiny again? Oh, no thanks very much, but I'd rather see him reduced to a pile of dust."

"Xander!," Willow exclaimed angrily, but her childhood friend ignored her.

"How can you just stand there," he spat into the vampire's face. "And you," his heated gaze turned towards Buffy, "holding his hand as if nothing's happened. He killed Miss Calender. He's a cold blooded killer, your ... your ...," he made a gesture with his hand, "whatever you call him now. You're disgusting Buffy."

"Watch your tongue," Angel growled dangerously. He'd expected hard words and hatred from the boy and he would take all of it, but that didn't mean he would tolerate him insulting Buffy.

But Xander didn't back down, "He killed Miss Calender, Buffy. And you're holding his hand ..."

"Stop it!," Giles shouted and Xander's mouth closed instantly. "Don't you dare," the watcher's eyes were narrowed dangerously as he came to stand in front of the boy, "Never, do you hear me, never use Jenny in this. You have no right to do it. You never particulary cared for her when she was alive, so don't use her now when she'd dead. You can hate Angel any way you want, God knows, you already hated him before, and without reason, if I may say so, but leave Jenny out of it, do you understand?"

"But ...," Xander tried to protest, but was interrupted by Cordelia.

"Let it go, Xander," she said and sat down at the desk. "This is getting old." Then her gaze went over to the vampire and the slayer. "Is there any possiblitly it might happen again? Because if, I'm going on a prolonged vacation right now. I've got *SO* enough of this."

"No, this is not going to happen again," Buffy told her only to be interrupted by Xander again.

"And how do you know this?"

"Because we know. Period." Hand on her hips she walked over to Xander, "I'm not going to explain myself to you, do you hear me! You of all people should understand, Mr. I-was-posessed-by-hyenas-and-ate-a-piglet!"

Xander blushed slightly and looked to the ground.

"Damned right," Willow supported the slayer's argument. "You know it wasn't Angel, not this Angel anyway."

"As far as I'm concerned," Cordelia said from behind them, "if you can assure he won't become evil again, that's fine with me. Just keep away from PDAs - it really makes me sick."

"You mean go and find yourselves a closet?", Buffy raised an amused brow.

"Exactly," Cordelia replied with a nod. "Exchanging body fluids - even if it's only with the mouth - in public is so out."

Xander shot his girlfriend an irritated glance, "Let me clarify this, as long as they're not kissing you're okay with it?"

"Sure," she said and began to search her purse for her nail-file.

Defeated her boyfriend threw his hands in the air, "God, you're all crazy. But then," he shrugged, "I haven't got any other friends. So he can stay here. But keep him away from me."

"It's not as if I'm looking forward seeing you each day," Angel shot back. "Great," Xander shook his head and took a seat beside Cordelia. "Can anybody fill us in now? Because the way they make googely-eyes at each other is rather sickening."

Chapter 8

Not so far away in a big mansion Spike was rolling back and forth in his wheelchair. Two minions stood at the open door while Dru was sitting on the ground in a pinkish sort of dress, completely unaware of the tension in her blonde lover.

"Where the hell is he?! He just wanted to get some books from the school library. This is a mess! Bloody Hell!"

The vampires at the door stepped back when he rolled over to them. Granted he was in a wheelchair but his reputation made him to one of the most dangerous vampires around. He was old, well at least older then most of the others and there was still Drusilla to be considered. She might be nuts but she was very strong too.

At the moment she seemed to be in her own little world though, talking to her dolls she had sourrounded herself with, but suddenly she began to whimper as if she was in pain and her body was rocking back and forth. Her eyes rolled back, "Ooooooh, noooo," she sobbed, clutching her head between her hands, "Spiiiike! My Angel, no, no, my Angel. She took him. The nasty girl took my daddy."

Her lover whirled around in his chair, "What's the matter? Drusilla!"

Still wearing the far away expression she stood up and walked over to where the demon Acathla was standing, the sword protruding from its chest. Trailing her fingers over the blade as far as possible, she spoke to nobody in particular, "My Angel has left us again. I can see him, he is with her! He helps them."

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" Spike's patience with the insane vampiress was about to snap. He might love her, but a vampire could only take so much.

"They got him back," Drusilla turned and faced her lover, "I can see him," she began to whimper again, "with her!" Groaning she fell to the ground and an inhuman cry sounded through the mansion, "Nooooo, they are kissing, I see them kissing. He is lost to us, Spike, lost forever."

"Dru baby, are you sure?" he asked cautiously. He didn't like to see his lover in pain, but he was first of all a vampire and as such he hated his grand-sire wholeheartedly. It might have been fun to play along with him for a while but Angelus had the idea he was a born master and if Spike hated something then it was obeying orders. Not to mention the fact that he didn't like the competition regarding his lover.

Still whimpering, Drusilla nodded, "Yes, my Angel is lost."

"So he won't come back," Spike's shout was almost triumphantly. With a powerful movement he stood up from his wheelchair, pushing it back in the process. It met the oposite wall and broke into pieces while the minions at the door backed even furter away. Whirling around Spike faced them, "You two, go to the library and get me the book, Angelus wanted to have. The rest of you," he shouted through the mansion adressing the other vampires around. "We're moving out. They know our location. And take the statue with you!"

******

It was not even midnight when Buffy and Angel left the library again. They'd come to the conclusion that it was the best idea to destroy Acathla in a way it was impossible to revive it again. Only problem was how. Just breaking it into pieces wasn't going to work or it maybe would but nobody could know for sure and the demon was far too dangerous not to be sure.

They were walking the streets of Sunnydale in silence, holding hands and enjoying the feeling of closeness. Mrs. Summers was still out of town and so they were going towards Angel's apartment again.

"I can't get over the fact that you're taking me back like this," the vampire said and was the first to break the silence.

"That's easy," Buffy replied withoug looking up, "you two are not the same."

Angel stopped and forced his girlfriend to do the same, "The demon is still inside of me, Buffy. I can feel it. It's as if it's whispering to me. Quietly, consistently. Always trying to convince me to give in."

"But your soul...," the slayer started to protest but was interrupted by her lover.

"Yes, my soul. I admit it's good to know it's safe now, but that doesn't mean I'm human like you or Willow. Or Xander," he shuddered slightly, "no, not like Xander."

Buffy had to grin at that, "Was this an attempt to be funny?" she asked.

He smiled, "No, not really. It's too serious. No, but Buffy, what I mean is, soul or no soul, I'm still a vampire. My body is almost 250 years old, it would be dead without the demon inside of me. Do you understand that?"

"You're dead anyway," she tried to joke but became serious again when she saw his eyes, "Angel," she took both his hands in hers, "I understand. But you have to understand that it doesn't matter to me! I love you. And ... no, I have to rewind that. It does matter to me. You're strong when you're fighting by my side, I don't have to worry all the time. You can hold your own. It's important Angel."

"I believe you, but still..."

"What, you think I'd be better with a nice human guy? Let me tell you, been there, done that and no, thank you! I tried it with Owen, do you remember Owen? He was a little bit like you, always quiet, always brooding..."

"I'm not always brooding," he protested.

She gave him a pointed look and went on, "The point is, we went out on a date and it got him almost killed. With you, it's different. You cannot only hold your own, you also watch my back. I can lean on you. You cannot imagine how exhausting it is always to be the one to be strong. Angel, I'm 17 years old and can't even tell my mother of my so called sacred duty because she might freak." There were tears in her eyes now, "But you take me in your arms and make me feel safe and for a short time I can loose myself in you. Is that too much to ask? Maybe a vampire is the only choice for a slayer. After all it's not very likely that I will grow old and wrinkle."

"Stop it," he shouted. "Don't say that. You're going to grow old. You're not going to die any time soon! I won't allow it to happen." He took her at her shoulders and shook her.

"There you go," now she grinned. "You said it yourself. Demon or not, Angel, I love you."

"And I love you," he whispered, closing his arms around her body while her arms encircled his waist. "And I won't ever leave you. I will always be there for you. Whatever happens. I promise."

"Good," she muffled against his chest. "I need you Angel. Please never forget that."

Chapter 9

"Buffy?", Angel said some hours later when they were lying together in his bed.

"Hmmm?" she made, not opening her eyes.

He had to chuckle slightly. He still had difficulties to believe this. Buffy lying by his side, the gift fate had given to him, a vampire who'd tortured and killed humans for more than a lifetime. She looked so beautiful, so pure and he could vividly remember the night she'd given her virginity to him. It probably didn't mean much to the guys grown up in the 20th century but for someone born and raised in 18th century catholic Ireland it was the most incredible gift a woman could give to a man.

He might have been a drunken bastard in his human days but that was long past and he knew he would cherish the woman in his arms as long as he lived. And there was something else Buffy had to know. "Are you asleep?" he asked into the dimness of his apartment.

"Not really," she replied and popped herself up on one elbow. "Why?"

"There's something I have to tell you," he said after a moment and took her hand, tracing the outlines of the ring she wore. The ring he'd given to her on the day of her 17th birthday.

"Then tell me," she demanded, getting impatient now. "Is it something serious?"

A nervous laugh escaped his throat, "Maybe," he said cryptically. "But maybe not. It depends on you actually."

"Oh, good," she grinned. "I'm not in a serious mood right now. So tell!"

"The ring I gave you, you know the one for your birthday," he began, pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed the ring.

"I know, it's a claddagh-ring, the hands represent friendship, yadda, yadda, yadda, so what? You told me the meaning."

"Well, not entirely," he reached over and switched the bedlight on. He wanted to see her face when he told her.

"What do you mean, not entirely?" she asked on a frown.

"These rings are quite common today, but when I grew up, when two people in Ireland exchanged these rings, it meant they were committed to each other."

"Yes," she nodded. "You told me that, they exchanged it as a sign of devotion," she repeated the words he'd spoken so many weeks ago at the docks.

"Well that and...," he took a deep breath, "in Ireland when two people exchanged Claddagh-rings they showed to all the other that they were going to get married, Buffy."

"You mean like a betrothal?" she asked, suddenly excited.

"Exactly," he replied, watching her anxiously. "All that was needed afterwards were church vows to make it official. But wearing the rings meant it was final."

"So you're saying we're as good as married, right?"

"Yes," he said, holding his breath.

"Angel!", with a squeal of delight she threw her hands around his neck, sprinkling kisses allover his face. "This is wonderful, just wonderful," she repeated again and again.

With a laugh of his own the vampire pressed the slayer against him. "I didn't know how you would react," he admitted finally.

"Really?" she pulled slightly back and looked at him. "Why? To be your wife ... well, almost ... is all I ever wanted."

"Even if you didn't know what it meant, when you took my ring?" he had to ask, he had to know for sure.

"Yes," she answered without hesitation. "And besides. I'm not an 18th century girl, I could've said no if I wouldn't have liked it." She looked at the her hand and at the ring on it. "I love it." Then she took his hand and kissed the matching ring there. "I love you. Make love to me, Angel, my fiancée."

*****

Willow almost fell out of her bed when she heard the phone ring in her room in the middle of the night. Quickly she reached out for it not wanting her parents to wake up. "H-hello?" she said, her voice still rough from sleep.

"Willow?"

"Yes, who ..."

"It's Mrs. Summers, Buffy's mother."

The red-head almost let the receiver drop from her hand, "Mrs. Summers," she said, instantly wide awake. "Did something happen?"

"That's what I wanted to ask," Joyce replied, her voice sharp. "Is Buffy with you?"

"Buffy?" Oh, God, Willow thought, she's with Angel. "Buffy! Oh yes. But she's asleep," the red-head lied. "Do you want me to wake her?" God, please no, she prayed silently.

"No," the relieve was audible in Mrs. Summers voice. "I came home late and she wasn't in her bed. And there wasn't a note anywhere."

"But ... well, Buffy told me you weren't expected before tomorrow night," Willow rubbed a hand over her face.

"Yeah," Joyce took a deep breath. "Well, as long as she's with you. Sorry Willow for disturbing you at this late hour. Please tell her to call me first thing in the morning."

"I will," the red-head replied.

"Fine. Good-night, Willow. And again, sorry."

"No problem, Mrs. Summers. Good-night." Putting the receiver down Willow realised that she didn't know the phone number of Angel's apartment. Did he have a phone at all, she wondered.

Go to Part 9