First of all: Thanks for all the feedback I got for "This Time". Many of you have asked for another sequel (as "This Time" was a sequel already). I am willing to write one, in fact I have already started to write on it. But I want to wait sending it out until I got a little bit further on. So please be patient. I also have to finish "Finally", but there are only two or three more parts, so it should be finished soon. This story came into my mind when re-watching 'Anne'. Basically it is meant to become a series, but I won't bother to send out all the parts of the series if nobody cares. So I am hoping for lots of feedback:
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of the story, they belong to Joss Whedon, WB, Fox, Mutant Enemy and many others. I just play with them for a while. So please don't sue.
Rating: see the show, then you can read this
Spoilers: Basically the whole BtVS and Angel-series. You might not think so at first, but you'll understand soon.
Summary: Buffy is in LA after sending Angel to hell, she is haunted by dreams but someone is sent to help her.

Buffy closed the door behind her and switched on the light in her little apartment in LA. She was tired and exhausted which was not surprising considering she'd worked all day. But it wasn't the cause for her state although she truly wished it was. She would give everything to be 'Anne', a normal, tired waitress after a stressing day at work, but she wasn't. She would never be. She could wear a name tag calling her 'Anne' and she would still be Buffy, the vampire slayer, the person who sent her lover to an eternal life of torture in hell.

She felt again tears in her eyes and swallowed hard, shaking her head angrily. No she would not cry, this time she would not cry. She cried a lot these days or she would just sit on her bed staring out of the window into the night listening to the sounds of this big city. Trying to imagine he would just climb up and come through her window as he had done it so many times before.

It would have been hard to send Angelus to hell wearing his beautiful face, but she would have dealt with it, knowing Angel's soul was finally free, would never be tormented again. As it was now this soul was damned to suffer eternal torture. She would never forget his eyes so full of love, the hint of a smile on his face when he'd closed his eyes for her. A hard sob escaped her throat.

There was nobody she could turn to. Not that she really wanted. Exept - maybe - Willow, although she doubted that the red head would understand her feelings anymore. After all Angelus had threatened her too. Willow had been able to separate Angel from his demon as long as she did not have to be a witness to his deeds. After Jenny Calender's death this understanding was vanished from her eyes. Yes, she had tried to use the course on him, successfully in the end, but the reason was her fear for Buffy's life. The slayer could understand it, maybe she would have reacted the same, but as the situation was now Buffy didn't really care anymore.

Xander truly hated Angel and Buffy was just not able to see anyone with feelings like these. Cordelia and Oz would come around, but she was not as close to them anyhow.

Giles wouldn't mourn Angel's death. The slayer couldn't blame him for that, but because of his feelings he wouldn't understand her either. So there was just nobody left. Well, there was her mom, no that wasn't a real option.

The only person who could ever comfort her was gone. Truly gone. All the time Angelus had been in Sunnydale she had been able to survive bearing the hope to bring Angel back, but now everything left was a feeling of being empty and lost.

Buffy sighed, poured some juice in a glass and put a piece of cake onto a plate. A real gourmet dinner she thought sarcastically. She ate slowly and drank in tiny gulps listening to the voices in the next apartment. The couple was quarreling loud - almost every night and they finished it the same way every night. The noises the old bed-frame made were proof of that. A small smile spread on her face, like Cordy and Xander, well not really but ...

She pulled the blinds over the windows, her mind again wandering to many other occasions she had to pull them to protect another person in her room. She closed her eyes and shook her head again. Changing her clothes she sunk on her bed. Only minutes later sleep overwhelmed her.

And then the dreams were coming. One part of her welcomed them, she was reunited with her lover, he was holding her, kissing her. She could almost feel him holding her, this part was definitely better than real life. But there was the other part, where he was accusing her, looking at her with hatred in his eyes and the most horrible ones, where his eyes showed nothing but betrayal. Buffy knew they were only mirroring her own guilt but it was still Angel saying the words in her dreams. The feeling he could hate her was almost to much to bear. She had never thought of suicide so far. This would have been much to easy. When he had to suffer eternal torment in hell she'd suffer the same on earth, it was not much but all she could offer him.

Tonight he came again. He looked so beautiful, he stood in front of her smiling with love in his eyes.

'Hi', dream-Buffy said to him.

'Hi', dream-Angel would answer back.

'You came to me', dream-she smiled.

'I have to make sure, you never forget what you did to me'. dream-he replied the love vanished from his eyes. There was again this expression of betrayal and hurt. And suddenly a sword was protruding from his stomach. Dream-Buffy tried to pull it away from his body, but dream-Angel flinched back and was laughing, a horrible laughter. 'You cannot make it better, Buffy. There is no way you can ever make it better', he finally said, his body vanishing into Acathla's vortex.

"Angel," Buffy bolted from her sleep, sitting upright in her bed. Her body was covered in sweat, her breath coming in little gasps and her heart pounding in her throat. And then she sunk into herself, heavy sobs shaking her tiny body and the tears were running again.

Dreams like these were almost more terrible than the ones she had about him being tortured in hell, hanging from a wall in chains, blood all over his body. The accusation in his eyes was the most horrible torture.

"I am so sorry, Angel. So sorry," she cried to the darkness in her room, praying he could somehow hear her, know she hadn't had another choice. But was it true, maybe there had been another choice. Why had nobody told her about the fact Willow was trying the curse again. Maybe then she and Angel would be in Sunnydale, together. But no, there would have been no way the others would ever accept him again, there would not have been a happily ever after.

A knock on her door snapped her back into reality. She frowned and looked over to her clock. It was 2 a.m., it had to be something serious to knock at that time of the day. Quickly she grabbed her sheet and wiped her face dry. She pulled one of Angel's shirts over her head, she had taken two of them with her to LA. Cautiously she approached the door and whispered:

"Who is it?"

The answer was another knock. She wasn't afraid to open the door, after all she was still the slayer, so she should be able to handle whatever stood there. When she finally opened it she knew it had been a lie. She was not prepared for this, her mouth hang open, her eyes went wide. She stared at the person who was looking more than uncomfortable. She was about to speak when her world went black.

Go to the next story Dreaming

Send feedback to Jill

Back to the Fanfiction Archive