Part 13

"And?" Cordelia looked expectantly at the vampire who was walking beside her towards the mansion. Angel hadn't taken the car and Xander picked up the brunette. Besides, Angel wanted to have some fresh air after the meeting at Giles' and Cordelia wasn't about to leave him brooding again. She had a plan and this plan was to break him down and convince him that Willow's discovery was his chance to finally be happy. Even if it was with Buffy.

"And what?" He didn't look at her, just stared straight ahead.

"Duh," she shook her head at him and glared when she caught his gaze, "Did you talk to Buffy, about what Willow told us?"

She saw him frown. "I take that as a no," she said with a sigh. "Well, that's just so typical of you. Why, on earth don't you talk to her? It was obvious that she ate you up with her eyes. I don't think she would mind breaking the curse with you."

"What," he stopped and slowly focused his eyes on her, "are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Buffy and the way she's looking at you. 'Angel, do you think Wesley is right for me? Okay then, if you think he's okay, I'm fine with Wesley'," she mocked, trying to copy the slayer's voice. "Humor me for a moment, Angel. Did you kiss her already?" she asked studying his face.

A muscle in his cheek twitched and her eyes lit up triumphantly, "HA!" she cried. "I knew it. You kissed her. When? Today?"

Angel narrowed his eyes and contemplated for a moment, if eternal torment in hell wasn't looking too bad if he'd kill her right now. "I. Don't. Want. To. Talk. About. It." he hissed slowly through clenched teeth. "I thought I made myself clear already." With this, he began to walk again.

"You can't get rid of me that way," she ran after him, "and besides, you wouldn't want me to get accidentally attacked and hurt by some vampire. Remember, their numbers are increasing."

"Actually it sounds tempting," he muttered under his breath, but said, "No, of course I wouldn't want that. But I don't want to talk about Buffy. Or the curse. Or Willow. So keep your opinion to yourself, I'm not interested."

"Angel," she sighed slightly, "It's not that I want to annoy you. I care about you. I just want you to be happy."

He stopped, closed his eyes, then took a deep breath, and finally looked at her, "Cordy, I know that. I know you just want to help. But I don't want talk about it right now. I need to think about it-"

"You mean you want to brood," she grinned and he involuntarily had to smile.

"Think. Brood. Call it what you want. But this is too serious to just decide it in a flash. Don't think I'm not tempted. Because I am. But after all..." he stopped for a moment, took another deep breath and then continued, "Buffy and I... It's always been difficult. The curse was one reason I left her, but it wasn't the whole story. And I..." He ran a hand through his hair, searching for the right words, a way to explain, "Maybe I'm just a coward, I don't know but experience has made me careful to hope. Do you understand?"

"Oh Angel," she reached out and touched his arm, tears welling up in her eyes, "Damn, now you made me cry," she angrily wiped a tear away. "I know you're afraid. Did you forget, I've been there, I've seen what happened to you - when you lost hope, but," she drew a shaky breath, "I know I was never very fond of Buffy, but it seems she's the one. And you are such a wonderful person, so if she's the one, then she might not be too bad either. And that leads me to the most important question. Don't you think she's worth the risk?

****

It was one of those rare nights when Anya couldn't sleep because usually she had no problems with it. She had seen almost everything in her times as a vengeance demon and so life didn't hold an awful lot of surprises for her. That was the reason she looked bored so often although she tried hard not to. It just wasn't normal human nature to wear the same expression all the time, and she wanted to be normal, more than anything.

She had cursed her fate, her human body, her - in her eyes - miserable existence as a student at Sunnydale High, but then one of those rare surprises had entered her life. She propped herself up on one elbow and looked at the man soundly sleeping beside her. He was lying on his stomach, one hand under the pillow, his hair tousled, his face turned to the wall.

Anya had punished unfaithful men for more than 1100 years, she had listened to pleading of thousands of scorned women, but she had never really understood why they even bothered going through such trouble to have vengeance done.

But now she could.

She didn't think it was possible for a person as old as she was, but Anya was head over heels in love with Xander Harris. If she'd been able to choose a mate for herself, it would've hardly been someone like him, but if she learned a thing or two, then it was that fate dealt you the cards and you had to play with them.

Not that she didn't like what she'd been dealt with. Again her eyes swept over his dark-haired head and a loving smile crept across her lips. Yes, she thought, she loved him. And the idea of him leaving her or touching another woman sent such waves of fury through her body that she sometimes shivered with the mere thought.

Like that girl she met in the 15th century. The one that had fallen in love with a noble man, but he was out of reach for her, a farmer's daughter. Yet, he promised her everything and broke that promise. And Anya had been summoned to take revenge. It had been one of her best masterpieces for she got him into a dark alley where she knew some vampires were usually hanging out at night. It had been that time in London when...Immediately she sat upright in bed. "Xander," she whispered.

Of course he didn't move. Xander was a sound sleeper and noises didn't usually bother him. Reaching out she touched his shoulder, said his name again. For a moment, she thought about waiting until tomorrow. No, this was too important and besides with her thoughts running wild she would never be able to sleep. And after talking to Xander, when he was still awake...

"Xander," she said loudly and shook him.

"Mmph," came from him while he tried to pull the pillow over his head.

"Xander, I need to talk to you. NOW!"

"Anya?" his head slowly came around and then he blinked because she'd switched the bed light on.

"I just remembered something," she informed him exited.

He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them again. "You... remembered something... at three o'clock in the night?"

"Yes," she bobbed her head up and down.

"Uh..." he yawned and rose his upper body. "That's... uh... interesting. But actually people sleep at that time of the night."

"I know that," she replied angrily, "I'm human for a while now. But it's important."

He yawned again. "Well, then... for God's sake, tell me."

"I was just remembering about an unfaithful husband and-"

"Do you have a point here?" he asked annoyed not really believing that he was having this sort of conversation in the middle of the night.

"It has," she replied haughtily. "Alright. So to punish him, I made him go into an alley where vampires were usually hanging around. And I was thinking about it and then I remembered."

"Remembered? What?"

"That it happened then too," she said.

As soon as Xander realized she wasn't about to explain, he rolled his eyes. "And what happened?" What was this? Twenty questions?

"It was exactly 550 years ago, or at least that's what I think, I could be wrong about a year or two, but-" She heard him groan and waved her hand. "Okay. Okay. The point is-"

"So this actually does have a point?"

She rolled her eyes again, "Why do I even bother. If my experience isn't needed..." she trailed off, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Honey, please," he reached out and touched her arm, "you woke me up in the middle of the night for this. So please tell me why!"

She sighed loudly, "All I wanted to tell you was that it was that year when there was an enormous increasing of the vampire population in London. London had a hellmouth then, before it was closed - I even think that happened the same year."

He looked at her for a long time, and then narrowed his eyes, "And why didn't you say that earlier?"

Anya leaped up from the bed and threw her arms in the air. "I didn't remember it then. Sorry that after living 1100 years things sometimes slip your mind. I've seen so many battles, wars and even apocalyptic things happen... I wouldn't even have remembered it until now. I was looking at you, and then I thought about a husband being faithful and-"

Xander held up a hand, "No, don't bother telling me. I don't need to know. I don't even want to." He got up from the bed and was about to leave the bedroom.

"Where are you going?" Anya wanted to know.

"The bathroom. Then the kitchen. I have a feeling that's quite a story you're going to tell me and without coffee I'm not sure I can stay awake."

****

"Yes, Wesley, everything's alright so far," Angel told his friend at the other end of the line. "Giles told us about the Council and his plans to join it."

"I hope you don't mind my agreeing to take over as Buffy's watcher, maybe I should've-"

"No, that's alright," the vampire assured him. "You are your own man, Wesley, you don't need to ask me and actually I'm glad it's you taking over. I trust you completely and there is nobody else I'd rather see Buffy with."

The former watcher felt his throat closing up at Angel's words and he had to clear it before he could speak again, yet his voice sounded quite strange, "I'm glad to hear you say that. Cordelia also told me about Willow's discovery," he said then, changing the subject.

He heard the vampire sigh deeply, "So you know already. It seems Cordelia is quite obsessed with this. I've told her repeatedly that it's out of question to even think about as long as Buffy hasn't regained her memories in full."

"Yes I understand the... er... problem. The... process... of lifting the course needs her full cooperation and she should know what she's getting into and I also understand that this procedure bears certain risks," Wesley replied. "But on the other side, I can't forget the advantages of it. You could rest far more easily and wouldn't need to fear threats like Wolfram & Hart. Speaking of them," he changed the subject again. "Gunn had a really interesting encounter tonight and he came by to tell me."

Angel was instantly alert. Wolfram & Hart never meant anything good. "What exactly?"

"Gunn came across a Brachen demon tonight. And he had interesting things to tell. It seems that Wolfram & Hart are in possession of another ancient prophecy regarding the hell mouth in Sunnydale. Unfortunately, the Brachen didn't know much more than that, but he said that the prophecy is saying something about a 'gate'. I've already tried to find more information but have only run into dead ends so far." Wesley pulled his glasses off and rubbed his red-rimmed eyes.

"The 'gate' means nothing to me," the vampire thought aloud. "I never came across that word. Well, of course I did, but never regarding a prophecy. Was there anything else?"

"Unfortunately not," the former watcher sighed, "I know it's not very much. But maybe we'll find something. I'm going to inform Mr. Giles as well. Besides that, the Brachen demon confirmed our observation that the vampires seem to be leaving L.A. So I think it's a good guess that Sunnydale is their destination. Together with the information about Wolfram & Hart, I have to say I have a very bad feeling."

Angel nodded, and then realized that his friend wasn't able to see him, "Yes, I agree. And I think Giles shares our concerns. Something is going to happen, and it's going to happen soon. And it doesn't make me feel any better that we have absolutely no idea what."

"Well," Wesley put his glasses back on. "I'm off researching a bit more. Give my regards to Buffy. I'm going to come to Sunnydale soon, so that we can meet. And I also think that a combined search might be more helpful."

"Yes, yes, of course. Do that," the vampire agreed quickly, "But please be careful around Buffy. I don't want her to know about... you know."

"Of course. That's entirely your decision to make. I will see you soon then."

"Yes. Good Bye, Wesley."

Angel ended the connection, but stood still for a moment. This didn't bode well, Giles was right. And with a slayer lacking a large part of her memory the situation was even more dangerous.

Part 14

Lindsey MacDonald thought of himself as a patient man, or at least that he'd become one over the past few years. Dealing with demons and vampires and other immortal creatures had taught him that time was completely different for them than for a human being. And working for them, with them, meant to adapt some of their habits, like pulling the blinds in his office, not hanging up mirrors on the walls or being patient.

Still, patient or not, the vampire that was sitting in his office at the moment, was about to make his control snap. For more than three hours, it had been staring at the same ancient roll and hadn't said one word. It was an ancient vampire, more than eight hundred years old, very powerful, and obviously not short on time.

Holland had taken him aside and whispered to him to take care of that very special client, show him the secret prophecy, and to offer any help necessary. And so there he was, staring out of the window, down onto the city of Los Angeles and all the people who had no idea, or didn't want to have one, of what was really going on in this world, where the power really was.

Lindsey couldn't help but feel a little bit proud that he made it. He had opened his eyes, done the right steps and was earning the profits to show it. He had a nice, spacious, and sunny, apartment and enough money to buy whatever he wanted. The thrill of power was intoxicating, addictive, and he knew that there was no way he would be able to live without it now.

He remembered his short lapse about a year ago, when his conscience wouldn't let go, but fortunately, he was over it now. He was healed from temporary insanity and back on track. Of course, he didn't delude himself and think he was untouchable. He was mortal, a human being and one look at his missing hand told him that there were many more powerful beings out there - some of them even his enemies.

Heck, all of them were his enemies. In a position like his, a man had no friends, not even allies. All you had were people or non-people who were temporary sharing your goals. Like now.

Lindsey turned around and was startled when he saw the vampire staring at him, its features betraying its age, the eyes endless pools of emptiness. There was no soul in them, no conscience, no remorse. The lawyer pulled himself together, "You're finished," he remarked, slightly nodding at the scroll laying on his desk.

"I am." The vampire's voice was deep and rich. The timbre was sending shivers up and down Lindsey's back. Not nice shivers, like when you saw an attractive woman, no more the kind that made the panic crawl in your guts. Fortunately, Lindsey was used to clients like that and didn't even blink.

"And may I ask if it's what you were looking for?" he asked, reclaiming his chair at the other side of his desk.

"It is," the vampire stood, and then walked to the opposite end of the office, turned and stared at the lawyer. "It proves what we assumed. I saw it happen once already. Unfortunately for us, there was nobody around who was familiar with an event like that. Therefore, the attempt failed. The hellmouth was closed, but we had the satisfaction that it swallowed the slayer before that. Of course a new one was called - so the effects were only temporary."

"As Mr. Holland already told you," Lindsey said, "We will be glad to give you any help or assistance needed."

"My sources tell me, that you have a private interest in the events coming soon," the vampire's eyes changed its color for a moment, then a smile crossed its features. It was so cold Lindsey was surprised his office wasn't freezing. "I see," the creature nodded knowingly. "The one with a soul is your concern. I have heard about him. He fights and kills his own kind. I once met him before the tragic events in Romania took place. He was one of the most magnificent creatures I ever met."

Lindsey coughed slightly. "We came across him quite often during the last two years and he cost us too much money to ignore him." He tried to shake off the uneasiness inside of him the moment he realized that vampire was able to read his mind.

"He won't be ignored," the vampire assured him, and sat down again. "But as far as I heard there is a way to remove his soul. So one wonders why it wasn't done already."

The cold, inquiring eyes resting on him, Lindsey was glad not to tremble. "We tried, but it didn't work. The bastard is stronger than we thought."

Slowly, the vampire nodded. "Then it's settled. You will assist us in our attempt to open the gate and in return I will help you to get rid of an inconvenience."

****

The lack of sleep will become an issue at some point Angel decided when he lay awake on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He had always been used to irregular sleeping hours. In his early times as a vampire he'd only slept during the day, but now working in L.A. and being around humans he became accustomed to staying awake during most time of the day and mostly sleeping the second half of the night.

These days he was having problems sleeping at all. The moment his head would touch the pillow and he closed his eyes, his thoughts started to run wild. Pictures of Buffy were flashing through his head and he wasn't able to shut them out. And even if he slept he'd be dreaming about her and more than once he'd wake up with her name on his lips.

He knew he couldn't go on like this for long. As a vampire, he could go on without any sleep or very little sleep for a while and still function properly, but everybody has limits and he was close to his. It wasn't just the lack of sleep.

His life during the last months had been anything but a fairytale. There had been the mess with Darla, and then, after he pulled himself together he received the news of Buffy's death. He would never forget the moment when he found Willow sitting there staring at him with tears in her eyes.

It was all he could do not to welcome the sun, but he knew that he couldn't just let it go. Buffy wouldn't have wanted him to give up and he loved her too much, had too much respect of all she believed in to just let himself slip. So he had pulled all the strips of his self-control and held himself together.

Now she was back. Alive. Miraculously, beautifully alive. Smiling, fighting and loving him.

Loving him.

She said she loved him. She had told him about the flashbacks, about the memory of loving him, and had insisted she loved him now. She had said it from the bottom of her soul, of her heart, and Angel knew she meant it. She loved him. Well, he loved her too. He had never doubted that they loved each other, at least not before he left her. And with all the heartache gone from her memory it wasn't really a surprise that she had fallen in love with him again.

It was his dreams coming true. True, he had left her for something he couldn't give her, but a tiny little part of him - okay, so a big part - had always hoped that she would never stop loving him. That her feelings for him were as strong as his for her and now that she said those words, he'd wanted to hear so badly for the past two years. Hearing her say that she loved Riley had been his worst nightmare.

Of course, he was a hypocrite. He had left her and then here he was, hating the idea of her loving someone else. And it wasn't entirely true. A part of him, the rational part, was glad for her. He loved her and he wanted her to be happy, even with another man. But the moment he closed his eyes he wanted nothing more to rip apart every man who touched what was his.

And now Willow had offered him the possibility to be with her. There was a chance to give him his soul for good. He would be able to be with Buffy, to express his love, the fear would be gone, the guilt that a simple touch could lead to something nobody would be able to control. He wouldn't, and couldn't, risk Angelus making an appearance again.

So why was he hesitating? Yes, he gave Cordelia many reasons. And yeah, he wasn't sure if Buffy was able to see what she was getting herself into. On the other hand - memory loss or not - she was a grown up woman who said she loved him. The moment she would hear about this, he knew she would go for it. And maybe that was another reason he didn't want to tell her.

There were too many ifs in this. What if the new curse didn't work? What if he couldn't be re-cursed again? Yes, he wanted to be with Buffy, and during the difficult time with Darla, he even wanted to die, but he didn't want to die now. Especially not when Buffy was alive and he might be needed to help her.

And then there was his deepest, private fear. What if Buffy agreed to do it, then regained her memory and hated him for not talking her out of it? What if she regained her memory and didn't want to be with him? What if she suddenly realized she had stopped loving him? Would he be able to survive seeing all his hopes shattered?

Cordelia and Spike were right. It all came down to one question. Was it worth the risk?

***

"Xander would you please stop interrupting her!" Giles voice was louder than usual when he addressed the young man and the other people in the room, namely everyone who had been there the previous night, looked slightly startled. The watcher rarely raised his voice but when he did it never meant something good. It was a lot like hearing him mutter his beloved 'oh dear, oh dear'.

Xander held up his hands and leaned back on the sofa, "Shutting up now."

"Very good," Giles gave him a last hard stare, and then turned towards Anya again. "Alright, let me resume this. Last night you remembered having seen something similar happening in the 15th century. You said the vampire population in London was increasing due to some changes at the hell mouth." He gave her a smile and encouraged her to continue her story.

"Yep, that's what I said," she quickly glared at Xander, "before I was so rudely interrupted. Anyways. As I told you, I decided to punish this very unfaithful man by getting him into that alley as a meal for the vampires. And that's when I remembered that I had the idea because there were so many vampires in town. Unfortunately I've seen so much during the centuries that I'm probably mixing something up."

"That's okay," Giles assured her, exchanging a glance with Angel who was standing near the wall. His favorite spot these days it seemed. "Nobody will blame you for this. We are grateful for any information you could give us."

"Very well," she nodded at him, "Speaking in human terms you would certainly say the increase of vampires in London that year was scary. A lot of people disappeared with no traces of their whereabouts, but around the second half of the year it changed."

She slightly turned her head to look at Angel, as if she wanted him to confirm the following words. "In my experience, vampires are quite selective when they chose an individual to become their childe. And it's quite a lot of work to teach those vampires properly, so a sire cannot have too many children at the same time."

When she saw Angel nod, she went on, "But in London, the second half of that year, the older vampires suddenly started to turn humans left and right. And I'm speaking of quantity, not quality. I had no idea what that all was about, and frankly, I didn't really care, but then I came across a witch. We had a nice chat about spells and during that conversation, she warned me to leave London.

"She'd also noticed the strange behavior of the vampires and found the reason," she paused for a moment and looked around, enjoying that the attention was directed towards her. "They needed souls."

"They needed *souls*?" Buffy stared at the former demon, "What the hell for?"

"Exactly for that," Anya replied, and then since nobody had understood, she elaborated, "They needed souls. The witch said that the souls wouldn't go the usual way, you know to... let's call it heaven, for lack of a better term. Because of the growing energy of the hellmouth they were bound to it and fed to evil, increasing the hellmouth's power that way."

"They... they were feeding souls to... the hellmouth?" Willow swallowed hard. Her face was white as a sheet, shock written allover it.

"Can I say this is SO gross?" Cordelia wrinkled her nose in disgust. "The hellmouth eating souls..." she trailed off.

"Well not literally of course," the former demon said, not understanding the reaction. "I mean there wasn't the hellmouth chewing..." she broke off seeing the others stare at her in disgust. "Alright," she threw her hands in the air, "obviously I'm lost here. But as I said before, I have seen so many things, it really isn't anything special."

"We... uh... believe you," Buffy managed to say. "We're just... shocked."

"Yes," Giles agreed, "quite shocked." He slightly shook his head to clear his mind. He had seen a lot in his life too, but this... "So they needed the souls for the hellmouth, to increase its power. For what? To open it?"

"In a way, yes," Anya answered. She grabbed some potato chips from Xander's lap where the bowl was resting - untouched - and munching on them, she continued, "But not the usual way. I mean, every idiot can open the hellmouth. All they need is some magic and voilà," she emphasized it by gesturing with one hand.

"Wait a second," Xander yelped and straightened beside her, the chip bowl flying down in the process, the contents littering Giles' carpet. "Are you saying that it's that easy to open a hellmouth?"

"Well," Anya looked around, "maybe I've made it seem a bit too easy. Well they'd need a certain constellation of powers and stuff. But compared to other things, opening an hellmouth isn't that complicated."

"Oh well," her fiancé closed his eyes and let his head roll back. "Now I'm really going to sleep like a baby tonight.""As interesting as this is," Angel pushed himself off of the wall and walked to the counter, sitting down beside Spike on one of the barstools, "I would prefer to get back to the matter at hand. Anya," he addressed the former demon. "You said, they wanted to open the hellmouth, but not in the classical sense."

"Yeah," she nodded. "Usually you just open up this hole, it's not nice, but usually if you have a slayer at hand, it's not too difficult to close it up again."

"Well, thank you very much. I really don't like to remember the two times we went through," Willow commented and then smiled when she felt Tara's hand on hers.

"So what was different then?" Angel wanted to know, slowly getting annoyed. He had a bad feeling and the sooner they knew what they were up against, the better. Besides, all this soul talk was making him nervous. He didn't want to talk about souls in general right now.

"The difference is that year they weren't just trying to open the hellmouth, they were trying to open the gate," she said, her voice suddenly grave.

Angel felt alarm slamming into him. "The gate?" he asked, suddenly feeling breathless.

"Yes," she confirmed. "The gate to hell. The gate to the inner dimension of hell or in other terms, they tried to free the heart of evil."

Startled gasps or harshly indrawn breaths were the only noises for a while, before Giles suddenly muttered, "Oh dear, oh dear."

"Oh no," Willow looked at the watcher. "It's never good when you say this."

"The gate to hell," Angel whispered, seemingly deep in thoughts. Then when he realized everyone was looking at him, he shook his head. "Sorry, but Wesley called last night. After our meeting. He told me that Gunn met a Brachen demon and he was saying the same. And that there was a prophecy somewhere referring to the hell mouth in Sunnydale." The vampire ran a hand through his hair.

"A prophecy?" Giles was instantly alert. "What kind of prophecy?"

"I have no idea," Angel said. "There is this law firm in L.A., Wolfram & Hart. Some time ago I stole an ancient roll from them." He saw Giles nod, and remembered that Wesley had told him about the discovery.

"What does a law firm have to do with this?" Buffy asked confused.

"Yes, I wanted to ask the same," Dawn spoke for the first time that evening, "I mean, I know lawyers can be evil, but..." she trailed off, thinking back to a time when her parents had been fighting over their divorce.

"They're not your average lawyers," Cordelia replied. "They're the evil kind. Not regular evil, but evil-evil. Their clients are a bit out of the ordinary. Vampires. Demons. Assassins. All those nice, cozy creatures everyone of us wants to invite for dinner."

"Plus," Angel continued, "they've got their fingers in almost any shady plan or organization in L.A. and probably other parts of the country. The idea of them having this prophecy isn't all too comforting. I wouldn't be surprised if they're going to be severely involved in all this."

"Oh dear, oh dear," Giles muttered again, earning a sharp look from Willow for it. "Anya," the watcher addressed the former demon again. "I assume, from the way you're describing this, it didn't work in London that year."

"No, it didn't," she confirmed. "But I didn't stay to watch it. I left a week before it was supposed to happen. But I talked to someone who had seen it. The local slayer managed to close the hellmouth and disturb the plans. But she died in the process. The hellmouth just swallowed her."

Part 15

Three days later

Willow bolted upright on her bed in the dorms from some kind of daydream when she heard a firm knock on her door. Wearily she ran a hand through her hair before she got up with a sigh. She didn't know who she expected to be at her door, but she was truly surprised to see her best friend there. So far, the slayer had avoided the dorms, or the whole college grounds for that matter. "Buffy!" she exclaimed happily and gave the blond a smile.

"Hi, Willow," the slayer nervously glanced around. "Can I... come in?"

"Oh," the redhead looked at her bit sheepishly, then stepped aside and closed the door behind her. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Buffy made a dismissive gesture with her hand. "It's just, I feel a bit uncomfortable in here. Not in your room," she clarified, "but at the college. It's just the way I thought I would. A lot of people smile at me, greet me and I feel... stupid." Frustration was written all over her face.

"Because you don't remember them." Willow nodded understandingly, then sat down on her bed and crossed her legs underneath her. After only a short hesitation Buffy did the same, and the redhead couldn't help the joy she felt. This was as it had always been. Sitting together on a bed, talking, even crying, just the way best friends did. "I wouldn't worry. Don't get me wrong, but you don't really have any close friends around here - just those who know about your secret identity."

"And why doesn't it surprise me?" the slayer let out a sigh. "Well, I guess, it's good at the moment. Otherwise they'd think I was rude."

"Nobody would think that," Willow assured her. "But I suppose that isn't the reason you came. So what's the problem?"

"I... uh... need someone to talk to," the blonde admitted after a moment.

The witch's face lit up, "That would be me! I mean you always confided in me and we talked about everything. So tell me."

"It's Angel." The words came together with a harsh breath.

"Angel?" Willow raised a brow. "He's in L.A., isn't he?"

"He left last night," Buffy confirmed. "But that's not it. He's so distant, all business, avoids any private conversation. It's going to drive me nuts!" she exclaimed finally.

"I see."

"But you don't," the slayer protested, "You have no idea. We kissed," she said and nodded when she saw her friend's eyes widen. "We did. Several days ago in the cemetery, after patrol. You know when Cordelia called him."

"Oh! " now it was Willow who nodded. "And?"

"And I remembered. Things. Stuff. From the past. Kissing him, more than once and even..." she stopped for a moment, blushed slightly and then continued, "... making love to him or rather him making love to me. It was awesome. And then I told him I loved him and... and he said he loved me too. It was like magic, but after five minutes he pulled back and since then he's been... distant."

The redhead's eyes had widened even more during Buffy's speech, and she realized that now even her mouth was open in surprise. "He really said that?" se asked. "That he loves you."

"Yeah. He did. He said he never stopped loving me. And then five minutes later he began to argue, telling me that I wasn't fit to decide about my feelings because of my amnesia, that I wasn't able to decide without my memories. I was shocked at first, but the longer I think about it the angrier I get. It's such bullshit," she shouted, then clamped her hand over her mouth and giggled. "Sorry."

Willow made a dismissive gesture with her hand, "Don't apologize. I always thought Angel was rather stubborn."

"Rather? He is the most stubborn man I ever met ... which doesn't say anything as I've probably forgotten most of them, but still, I can't imagine anyone more thickheaded."

The both women shared a laugh at that. "That reminds me," Buffy said after a moment, "Did you find anything? I mean, you said you'd look into his curse. Did you find anything interesting?"

Willow shifted uncomfortably on the bed. What was she supposed to do? Angel had told her not to tell Buffy, she needed to keep this a secret. If the witch hated anything, it was secrets. She wasn't good at keeping anything hidden, it simply felt... wrong. On the other hand, she saw the expression on Angel's face. "I... uh... we're still... investigating," she said evasively and it wasn't completely wrong. They still were - in a way. Investigating to find a way to persuade Angel to risk it.

"Oh," the blonde's face fell slightly. Then she shrugged, trying to hide her feelings, "Well, then, all I can do is wait, I suppose."

"I'm... I'm sorry," Willow put a sympathetic hand on Buffy's arm. Then she decided to change the subject, "What about Wesley?"

"What about him?"

"Well, what do you think of him?" the redhead wanted to know. The formerwatcher had arrived in Sunnydale the night before, to see Buffy and to confer with Giles about "The Gate".

"He's... okay, I guess," the slayer grinned, "A bit stiff and formal, but he seems to know a lot of things," she shrugged, "He's a friend of Angel's and so I guess I can trust him."

"He was a lot worse when he first came. He was only wearing suits and behaving as if he'd been born hundred years ago. The way he talked," she shook her head, laughing slightly, "and the way he behaved. You always used to ignore him."

"I did?" Buffy raised a brow. "Really?"

"Oh yes. I think you were never the average slayer. At least that's what Giles said. And then after meeting Kendra I was sure he was right."

"Kendra?"

"She was another slayer," Willow explained.

The blond drew her brows together, "But I thought there was only one."

The witch wanted to kick herself, but of course, it was too late now. "You... uh... kinda died some years ago," she admitted hesitantly.

"I died? Twice?" Buffy shrieked and jumped up from the bed, staring at her friend.

"Uh... yes. You fought the master, he hypnotized you, and then you were face under in water. You almost drowned. But Angel and Xander found you and... Xander revived you with CPR," Willow reported, and then suddenly realized what she'd done. "But please don't tell Giles. If he finds out I told you something like that he's going to go stern watcher on me. And I really hate it when he's nailing me with his eyes," she shivered a little bit.

"Don't worry, I won't tell. So I died and then there were two slayers," Buffy was excited to finally find out more about her life and couldn't let it go now. "And what happened to her?"

"She died," the witch said sadly. "Dr ... a vampire killed her. She was... different, but... nice. Just... her whole life was concentrated on becoming a slayer. Her parents had given her in the care of her watcher when she was very young, a baby. It's sad, don't you think?"

"It sounds sad," the slayer agreed. "And what-"

"No," Willow's refusal cut her off mid sentence. "I won't tell you anymore." Besides I really don't want to talk about Faith, she thought. "I already told you more than I was supposed to."

"But I said I wouldn't tell Giles," Buffy protested.

"I know. And I believe you," Willow gave her a smile, "but the shrink said it too. That you have to remember by yourself, not just being told."

The blonde looked at her friend and then nodded. "I understand. I don't like it though. Besides, there's so much I can look forward too. Angel will be back tomorrow."

***

"Do you really think that's wise, man?" Gunn said eying his vampire friend busting the lock at the back entrance of the apartment complex.

"No, probably not," Angel replied on a sigh. "But it's really the only idea I've got left. I'm not going to watch her die again," he said firmly, smiling slightly when the lock gave way. With an inviting gesture of his hand, he pushed the door open and Gunn stepped inside.

The African American looked around, "Crime pays I'd say," he remarked, whistling through his teeth. The apartment complex was top class, the hall completely decorated with marble, they could see a guard standing at the front door, who fortunately didn't expect any threat from inside, so his gaze was directed towards the street. "This stinks of money. At least our friend enjoys life."

"That he does," the vampire agreed and nodded towards the stairs. "Without a conscience life is simple," he said, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "Let's go."

Angel led on and Gunn followed him to the second floor where the two entered the elevator and then left it again at the 15th floor. "He has the apartment on the corner," the vampire explained.

Gunn nodded, touching his back for the gun he hid there for this special case. "Let's just hope this will work," he said.

***

"There is absolutely nothing," Wesley exclaimed and threw a thick book on the table of Giles' apartment. "What the hell did this watcher do? He didn't write one single word about the events in London." The former watcher ran a weary hand through his hair and then exhaled a long breath. "Any luck?" he asked turning to Cordelia who was searching the net on her laptop.

"No, nothing," the brunette replied, not looking up. "I've tried all the databases and none of them has any information. What about you Willow?" she addressed the witch who was busy at another computer.

"Nada," she answered and when she saw everyone except Tara staring at her, she shrugged, "Xander's influence, I guess."

Giles shook his head and then closed his book as well. "I can't believe nobody ever described it. Each time anyone tried to open the hell mouth it's reported into detail. I could even find a mention about the events in 1550, but there is no word about 'The Gate'. We still have no idea when it's going to happen. We have no idea what exactly going to happen. We don't even know who might be leading the forces."

Willow looked up from her screen, "Leading the forces?" she asked, not liking the sound of it. Forces. That was like an army. An army of demons or vampires. Not something she wanted to face.

"I believe Rupert refers to the leader," Wesley replied. "We have no idea who might be this leader. It has to be someone with power. Maybe some master vampire, or an ancient one, or some very powerful demon," he shrugged helplessly.

"There's something," Cordelia exclaimed suddenly. "Not much," she said apologetically, "Here it comes. 'In addition to an opening of the hellmouth there might be powers able to go further. Further meaning the opening of 'The Gate to Hell' or rather the inner, most evil part of the demon dimension. Whilst the first event merely frees the demons captured in the more outer dimensions and gives them ability to walk the earth again, the second would end in the ultimate destruction of Good'."

The brunette looked up, rubbing her forehead with one hand. "Can we say no thank you? Then there is a mention of prophecies, but we already know that." She took a deep breath, "I hope Angel calls soon." Then she suddenly frowned, "Where's Buffy by the way?"

"On patrol, with Spike," Dawn replied.

"Angel knows about that?" the brunette wanted to know.

"Uh-huh," the slayer's sister grinned. "He said if Spike messes this up he's going to stake him. And it seemed as if Spike believed him. So he plays watch-dog."

"And he loves to hit," Willow said dryly.

"And that," Dawn agreed laughing aloud.

***

There was a noise inside as if someone was struggling to get out of his bed, what was probably exactly, what just happened. Then footsteps. Finally a curse. "Damn Mark, I told him he should ask first," a voice came from the inside, before the door opened.

The person froze in the door, his eyes widened, but before he could close the door again, Angel had already pushed it open, sending the man flying backward. With a smile, the vampire turned and then looked down to the man who was trying to get up again. "Hi Lindsey," he said pleasantly. "I know it's rather late, but I'm in urgent need of your service."

Part 16

The night air was good for clearing ones head, but Angel wasn't sure it would be enough to clear the turmoil in his mind tonight. After their little encounter with a first thorough mocking, in the end slightly panicked lawyer, he had decided he'd head back for Sunnydale rather tonight than tomorrow. He'd gotten all the information possible. He just hoped it was enough.

He still couldn't get over Anya's last remark about the hellmouth swallowing the slayer. He held Buffy's presumed dead body in his arms years ago and he went through the agony of her dying without him these last months. He simply couldn't see her die again.

He was sure that Lindsey had told them the truth. He mocked him and Gunn at first, but then the lawyer realized the vampire hadn't come to play games and began talking. To say it had been interesting would be understatement. It was shocking, terrifying, and filling his veins with icy horror he'd rarelyfelt before.

Angel knew instantly he had to go back. He was sure Spike would look out for Buffy, because he had seen the expression of love on his childe's face, but he needed to go back. This time she wouldn't face evil alone, he would be at her side, to protect her or die trying. It wasn't that his Shanshu meant nothing to him. On the contrary, it was important. Not in the way that he would be human in some distant, unknown future, probably when Buffy was long gone and his wish to see her in the sunlight would never come true.

No, it was the knowledge that redemption was possible. Even for him, who'd taken thousands of lives, had tortured, without conscience, without mercy. Had fed the demon with his own personal hatred for his father and the rest of the world that didn't love him and welcome him the way he had wanted. Yes, he knew it had been the demon who had killed and tortured, and yes, there were times when even Angel thought it was a little bit unfair that he suffered for that, but then he thought back about a dark alley in Galway when he had allowed a beautiful woman to promise him everything he longed for. He realized that whatever the demon might have done wouldn't have happened if he hadn't agreed to become a vampire in the first place.

Of course, he hadn't really understood what it meant to be a vampire, but he had agreed nevertheless, had never asked, never wanted to know.

And then there was this traitorous part of him that couldn't really damn the fact he was a vampire. As a human, he'd be dead and dust by now. Only the fact that he was a vampire, immortal, had him brought to Sunnydale, to Buffy. Shanshu or not, for Angel she was his real redemption. The fact that a creature like her, a girl, never doing anything but fighting the good fight, could fall in love with him, could love him unconditionally, something he'd never dared to dream.

He thought back about Cordelia's words about him trying to punish himself and although he had denied it then, he couldn't do it now. Not completely. He doubted, had always doubted, that he was worth being loved like that, and by a woman like her. That she would see the good in him and push all the darkness aside. But how could she when darkness was surrounding him everywhere? He even had to avoid sunlight. How was he worth her as creature that feared the sun?

To pull her with him. Into the darkness. To take the sunlight from her as well. No, he hadn't been able to do that. Now, where a discovery of Willow's was occupying a large part of his thoughts he tried to figure out if it had been for her or for himself as well. And there was that uneasy feeling growing inside of him that it hadn't been completely unselfish.

Angel didn't like thinking that way. No, he didn't like it at all.

"How long?"

The question startled him out of his thoughts and glanced to his side where Gunn was sitting and looking at him. He had insisted in coming with him to Sunnydale and Angel hadn't even tried to argue. If it was true - and he knew it was - what Lindsey had told them, they would need all the help they could get. Gunn had even promised to inform his friends tomorrow and get them to drive down to the hellmouth.

"About ten minutes," the vampire replied.

Gunn nodded and looked straightforward. "It's some mighty shit were going to face, man."

"Yeah," Angel agreed, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.

There was another minute of silence before the African American spoke again, "You believe that scum of a lawyer?"

"Usually, no," the vampire replied. "But this time. Yeah. Unfortunately I think he told the truth."

"That's no good," Gunn exhaled a sharp breath. "You think they're going through with it. They're really trying to open the gate of hell?"

"Yes," Angel nodded, not taking his eyes from the road. "Yet, I'm not quite sure what Wolfram & Hart will win through it. They're human. Evil, sure. But still human. I can't understand what they're gaining by freeing the heart of evil."

Gunn cracked an eyebrow and slightly turned his head, "You can't? I'd say it's clear as day what they're after. Our friend Lindsey was quite specific about that." He saw Angel shift uncomfortably on his seat and although he knew the vampire didn't want to talk about this subject he went on, "Cordelia told me this little problem of yours could be fixed."

Angel swore under his breath, "She should work for global mail," he ground out through gritted teeth.

"I suppose she thought I should know."

"Oh, I know," the vampire still fumed. "It's nothing personal. I don't mind you knowing it, Gunn, because I trust you," he added quickly. "But she's sticking her nose into other people's business all the time, but this is my decision to make."

"I hate to disagree with you, but this time you're wrong, man. This time it seems the decision is already made for you, because seeing what's going to happen, you don't really have a choice."

****

Xander had been dreaming about huge wedding cakes, crying mothers, a stuttering priest and Anya turning into a demon the moment he lifted her veil. So it had been more a nightmare than a dream and he was actually quite happy to wake up although he hated finding himself in bed, bathed in sweat. He inhaled deeply. Pre-wedding hysteria. There could be no other explanation for that.

It would be all right. There would be no hellmouth opening, because Buffy would prevent it and with Angel at her side and - he grudgingly admitted - Spike their chances were definitely up. There would be no demons flooding the earth, and no freeing of evil. Nada. Nope. Nothing. And he was going to marry the girl he loved. And of course she wouldn't going to turn into a demon at their wedding, Anya loved him. She was soundly sleeping beside him.

With a sigh, he turned his head and opened his eyes.

Nothing.

He blinked, but there was still nothing. Or rather nobody. There was an empty spot beside him. No Anya. Panic seized through him, a cold hand gripping his neck, he reached for the lamp on the nightstand, then took a deep breath. It had been a nightmare. He was still in his apartment, and there was no hellmouth. Well, there was, but it wasn't open.Yet, Anya was still gone. The same moment he heard noises from the living room. Anya? Up at four o'clock in the night? Something was definitely wrong. Sighing again, he swung his feet over the side of his bed, then tapped, only wearing his boxer-shorts, towards the noise.

He didn't know what he had expected, but this wasn't it. "What the hell are you doing?" he asked, his voice sounding sharp, but somehow he didn't care.

"What do you think it looks like?" she replied, casually, not even looking up from packing her suitcase.

"Maybe I'm already losing it, but I can't remember planning a vacation. Besides. There is some prophecy-"

"Exactly," she interrupted him. "The prophecy. You don't think I'm going to stay around for it, do you?"

Xander wouldn't have believed a pain like this was possible, not without a weapon slicing through his skin, ripping his guts out, but now he knew it was. And the disappointment was so strong, he wasn't sure he would be able to make his voice work. "You... you're leaving?", choked out.

"Sure," she nodded, still not looking at him. When he didn't say anything, she finally turned, a T-shirt in one hand. "Xander, they are going to try to open the hellmouth. *That* would be bad. But they are planning so much more. This is more than just bad. So don't expect me to stick around."

"No," he said simply, surprised that he could sound even bitterer than when he'd told Buffy, Angel was more important to her than everybody else. "I really shouldn't have. Running seems to be a specialty of yours," he added, remembering the ascension when she'd left too. "But some stupid part of me must have thought that you loved me enough to stay with me."

"Why, you don't think I'm leaving you, do you?" She seemed honestly surprised by his words.

Xander's brows crunched, "You're not? But you just said-"

"You're coming with me of course," she pointed at the suitcase, "or why do you think I'm packing all your shirts and trousers."

Her fiancé stared at her for a long time, then he slowly shook his head, "You still don't get it, do you?" he asked. "Let me spell it out for you. Slowly. They. Are. My. Friends. Friends, do you understand? Friends don't leave each other in times like these."

"But... but that's not your duty. Buffy is the slayer. Angel and Spike lust after her and will stay to help her. You're just human. Xander, opening the gate of hell," she shook her head, "Armageddon is cake compared to that."

"And here I thought you really had changed," he wearily ran a hand over his face. "You have to decide what you're doing," he said finally. "I'm going to stay." He turned and was about to leave the room, then stopped in the doorway and looked over his shoulder. "As long as you haven't decided I think we probably shouldn't talk about the wedding anymore. I'm going to tell my mother that the date might be delayed due to unexpected circumstances. And another thing, whatever you do, please do it quietly. I'm really tired."

With this, he left the room, and he never felt more like bawling than right this moment. And he couldn't remember ever having felt so old.

****

"Angel!" Cordelia exclaimed happily when the vampire and the vampire-hunter stepped into the mansion. "Gunn," there was no surprise in her voice.

"Hello Cordelia," Angel said and chuckled slightly at her display of affection, then stepped inside, greeting Wesley as well. Then he raised a brow, "Not that I'm not moved by this reception, but it's the middle of the night or rather almost the end of it. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"Gunn called," the brunette explained. "He said you were on our way toSunnydale and that you had some information."

"Gunn and I persuaded a friend of ours to tell us about the prophecy." With a side-glance at Wesley, Angel added, "I think Lindsey left L.A. - this time for good. Anyways. He talked all right. I'm not sure he said all he knows, but it was quite interesting."

"So what did he tell you?" Wesley asked, eager to get the news.

"It's not pretty. I just give you a short version now. I have to tell the whole story tomorrow anyways. It seems there's a prophecy that says during the time of a slayer who died twice," he looked pointedly at the former watcher and saw Wesley nod, "there will be an increase of energy of the hellmouth. That we already knew."

He shrugged his duster from his broad shoulders and deposed it on a chair. "Wolfram & Hart have a new client, who is a vampire. Lindsey didn't know the name. He said Holland wouldn't give him that bit of information. But to him it looked rather ancient and powerful and it makes sense. Whoever is going to try the ritual described in the prophecy has to be extremely powerful.

"Anyways. There is a constellation of stars in the night of the new moon, that seems to favor the whole idea."

"The night of the new moon?" Wesley thought aloud. "That's three days from now. Not really a lot of time to prepare. The power of the hellmouth is steadilyincreasing," he reported, "Buffy and Spike staked 11 vampires tonight. It's extraordinary. Also, Willow reported that three of the students in her class are missing."

"Buffy's alright?" Angel asked concerned.

"Yes, yes," the former watcher assured him quickly. "Spike got hit, but it isn't serious either." He smiled when he saw the vampire chuckle. The two vampires might have made some kind of peace for the time being but there was no love lost between them.

"It's going to get worse," Angel said after a moment. "They will have to feed souls to the hellmouth the next days. A lot of them. Anya was pretty exact with the details. She seems to have an amazing memory."

Cordelia had listened to the men for a while, but there was something she couldn't understand and she asked almost the same question, Angel had asked before, "Why are Wolfram & Hart involved in this? They're human. I can't believe they want to die."

Angel shot Gunn a silencing look, then said, "It seems they're expectingsomething from it. Then hope to stop the ritual in time. But this time they're overestimating their powers. I think they don't have the slightest idea what they're dealing with."

"What are they trying to gain?" Cordelia asked again.

The vampire shrugged, trying to find some good explanation for her, but this time Gunn didn't back down. Looking steadily at his friend, he said, "If you're not going to say it, I will." He saw Angel glare at him, but shook his head. "No my friend. I already told you, this is far more than just your personal business. I once saw you almost going down and we couldn't help. I'm not going to watch again." Then he turned and looked at Wesley and Cordelia, "What he didn't tell any of you is that part of the bargain is to remove Angel's soul." .

Go to Part 17