Part 25

Hushed voices were all Wesley could hear from behind the curtain marking the entrance to Angel's bedroom. The former watcher wanted to kick himself for his careless words. Explaining about the Gate of Hell, about the danger they would face, in short going into full watcher mode, had made him forget all about Buffy's amnesia.

The rest of the group was exchanging concerned glances, while Tara and Willow were holding hands.

Everyone staring at her followed Buffy's shocked gasp. Before anyone had been able to say a word Angel had pulled his girlfriend towards his bedroom, closed the curtain and was now obviously trying to explain.

How could he have been so stupid to let something like that slip, Wesley asked himself again and again. It was probably Buffy's most traumatic experience throughout her time as a slayer. Sending a person you loved to the demon's dimension, like it had happened with Angel, would be more than most people could bare. The former watcher could only guess what it meant to her.

Wesley had only heard stories about Buffy missing for the whole summer, and that when she returned her eyes had been serious and sad, and grown up all of a sudden. She'd lost all her innocence, her youth, and that even when Angel miraculously returned from Hell she never got it back. It had changed her life forever.

Of course, at one point, she would've remembered, or they would've told her, but not now. Now was a bad moment. With an inward sigh, Wesley looked around, catching Giles' gaze. There was concern in the watcher's eyes but no accusation and strangely it made Wesley feel even worse. If someone had been shouting at him, he would've known why, but nobody blamed him and for this it seemed as if he had to blame himself even more.

A shocked gasp was to be heard from behind the curtain, then a muffled shout, then silence, and then sobbing. Buffy's sobs. At the same time Angel's soothing voice. Only seconds later the curtain was pulled open, revealing slayer and vampire, the blonde's face puffy and red from crying, her eyes red-rimmed, her hand was firmly clasped into her lover's, she couldn't quite meet the eyes of her friends.

"We're going on patrol," Angel announced, looking around. "It might need some time. Xander could you please take care of Dawn?"

"Sure," he answered, nodding towards the slayer's sister, who smiled quickly in return, and then fixed her gaze back on Buffy, who seemed very small and fragile at the moment.

"Spike," he addressed his grand-childe, "Could you and Faith patrol as well?"

The bleached blond vampire grinned at the brunette slayer, and nodded. "Yeah. Might be fun.""Good," Angel said, looking at Giles, "We'll be back in a few hours. Make yourselves at home. Cordelia knows where everything is." He glanced at the former cheerleader, who gave him a smile. He thanked her with his eyes then pulled Buffy with him into the night.

*

Riley had followed the whole situation in bewilderment, sensing that there was a lot more history between Angel and Buffy than he had guessed. Sure, Xander told him one day and later Buffy explained even more, but this particular, and obviously peculiar, subject never came up.

From all he observed it was clear that the subject was very painful and that nobody in the room felt comfortable with it. Nobody, who knew what was actually going on, that is. The police lady and Tara seemed as lost as he was. But of course none of them had been close to either Buffy or Angel, or at least not in the way he had been, or rather made himself believe so.

If Buffy's reaction behind the curtain were any hint, Riley wasn't so sure he wanted to know what had caused the shocked gasps and the concerned glances of friends and family or why the girl he was still in love with had looked so fragile in a way he'd only seen her when her mother had been diagnosed with a brain tumor.

But curiosity and that nasty feeling of jealousy got the better of him and the question had left his mouth before he was able to stop it, "What was this all about? What do you mean Angel had experience with the demon's dimension?" his gaze was on Wesley.

"It's a long story," the former watcher replied, not willing to tell Buffy's ex-boyfriend private details of her life with Angel. "And frankly not my place to tell. If you want to know, ask Angel."

Spike grinned seeing the commando narrow his eyes. He could smell anger. Anger for being left out. It gave the bleached blond vampire another kick to see Captain Cornbread's face when his grand-sire had pulled the slayer behind the curtain, making it quite clear that this was *their* private space. A room with a large bed - the Poof always had it with them - was his and the slayer's private space. Eat that soldier boy, he thought. And guess what they're doing there.

Not that Riley didn't know already. The way Angel and Buffy were acting around each other would tell any idiot what kind of relationship they shared. But then, soldier boy wasn't the brightest person on this planet and giving it to him with the sledgehammer couldn't harm. If Spike couldn't get the slayer for himself he would at least make sure that Riley got the message as well. Once and for all.

"They make quite a couple, don't they," Spike said almost casually, grinning at Faith. The brunette slayer was more serious than Spike, but she had a special dislike for Riley and caught on very quickly.

"Yeah," she said, leaning back against the wall, "She so petite and blond, he so dark, and... big. Night and day, sun and darkness," she sighed, "vampire and slayer. It's really romantic."

Riley gritted his teeth. He hadn't expected a warm welcome in Sunnydale. Hell, the way he acted just before he left he even expected some hostility, but he would be damned if he'd take such crap from an evil hostile, chip or not, and some psycho-bitch who had once tried to screw up his relationship with Buffy. He was about to reply, when he suddenly felt a hand on his arm.

"Please don't," a soft voice said and gazing down he found himself looking into Dawn's huge blue eyes. "We all need to work together now," she said, "I've lost my mom, and then Buffy, I don't want to lose her again." Her gaze then shifted towards Spike and the bleached blond vampire felt himself forced to nod with a gruff noise.

He turned to Faith, signaling her to follow him. "Yeah, let's go," she agreed, grabbing a stake from a bag Angel had shown her. "I really need to hit something." With a quick grin at Kate, she added, "Only if it's dead or rather un-dead or ugly, slimy..." she trailed off. Seeing Kate smile, she smiled as well and she and Spike left without another word.

*

"Are you feeling any better?" Angel asked Buffy after they'd dusted six vampires. They were now walking through Restfield, her hand firmly clasped in his. She hadn't said a word since they left the mansion.

"Not really," she replied, a frown appearing on her forehead, she tried to pull her hand from his grip, but he wouldn't let her, wouldn't allow her to retreat, feeling overwhelmed by the things Angel had told her. She'd seen the pain on his face while he had been telling her how he'd reverted into Angelus, had tormented and killed and how she finally had no chance but sending him to hell.

And she just knew that he hated her for it. How could he not? She condemned him to a fate worse than anything she could imagine and he would still be there if some miracle hadn't brought him back. He had tried to talk to her, but she had refused to listen, so he'd just taken her hand and pulled her with him out of the mansion.

And here she was, standing beside him, feeling worse than she remembered, which actually didn't say anything in her particular situation, but still...

"I don't blame you." His quiet, firm words destroyed the silence that had settled over them. "I never did. To tell you the truth, I was, and still am incredibly proud of you. You were acting like the slayer. To do what you did... You were so strong, so wonderful and I loved you so much... still do. Please don't blame yourself."

"How can I not?" she cried, finally managing to pull her hand from his, whirling around to face him, "What I did to you..."

"I did worse to you before," he argued stubbornly.

"That wasn't you," she shouted, anger flaring in her eyes, "You told me it was your demon. I know enough about vampires to understand that you had no control about what he did."

"No, I didn't. But the reason he was tormenting you, trying to get to you, was because I allowed myself to feel for you, to get close to you and worse, I hadn't managed to prevent you from falling in love with me. That was pushing the doors open for him, you were open for the hurt he inflicted on you," he reached out, grabbing her shoulders. "So you see, if anyone is guilty here, it's me or maybe the Romani for creating such a stupid curse, not thinking about the danger, but not you. Do you understand? NOT YOU."

"God, I drove a sword right through you," she cried, still not able to look at him. "I hurt you..." a sob tore from her throat, shaking her whole body. "God, Angel. I killed you."

With a strangled sound her pulled her to him, held her close. "We both hurt each other," he told her quietly, not trying to hide the pain in his voice, "And I never saw this as some sort of competition, but I'd say I win in the department. Although I never wanted to hurt you - not intentionally, but that doesn't change the facts, Buffy."

Finally her arms came to encircle his waist. "What else?" she asked after a moment. When he didn't react, she said, "I need to know, Angel. I know Giles and the shrink think I should get my memory back piece by piece but I need to know. What else happened?"

"I'm not quite sure what you remember," he began hesitantly. "I came back from the demon's dimension. I have no memory of it. I just found myself back on earth."

"But you do remember hell, right?" she asked, raising her head and looking at him. "How was it?"

"I... I don't know how to explain it," he said carefully, for the first time talking about his experience there, "It's a place without love, without mercy, without any emotions besides hatred and joy of torture. The average demon's suffer..." he hesitated, not quite finding the right words, "Some of them enjoy the torture. Especially the vampires do. But I... I was the perfect victim."

"Because of your soul," she said. It wasn't a question.

"Yeah," he answered it anyway. "The goal was to destroy me - my soul - and they almost succeeded. Then I was suddenly gone, finding myself back in Sunnydale," he told her and then added softly, "with you."

He was glad when he saw her nod, glad that she didn't ask any more questions, because there were things he didn't want to tell, didn't want her to know. Ever. "And after you came back? I remember some things. I even remember the night you told me you were leaving," she said and saw him wince. "Why?"

"There were lots of things. I already told you that. Part of it was the danger to my soul, part of it..." he took a deep breath and run his hand through his hair in a helpless gesture. "I was so sure they were all unselfish reasons, wanting you to be happy, to have more beside darkness and slaying, but I think I was also afraid that one day you'd wake up and hate me for holding you back. And that I wouldn't be able to face."

"I would never hate you," she said fiercely, tightening her arms around him, stepping on her toes and kissing his jaw. "I love you so much. And I have one last question," she pulled slightly back and touched the scar on her neck. She could almost see him cringe. "You gave me this, didn't you?"

She saw him struggle; saw shame entering his eyes, almost felt his withdrawal and held him tight. "Didn't you?" she asked again, softly, lovingly.

Slowly he nodded. "I..." he closed his eyes. "I drank from you." The words were choked, colored with pain, shame and self-hatred.

"What happened?"

Her voice was still gentle, loving, and he managed to open his eyes, "I was shot with a poisoned arrow," he told her. "The only cure was a slayer's blood."

"And I guess I had to beat you half-unconscious to make you -" she stopped mid sentence seeing him wince, "It's the truth," she exclaimed incredulously. "You refused to do it. That's just so like you," she scolded gently. She laid her cheek against his chest, "I love it. The scar, you know. I love it. It's like showing that I belong to you. And I love it even more knowing it saved your life."

"Oh, Buffy," he whispered in awe, marveling the fact that she loved him like this. "I love you," he said, tilting her head up with a finger under her chin, "I love you," he repeated, covering her lips with his.

Part 26

"They've been gone awfully long," Kate remarked about two hours later, looking up from a book Wesley had pressed into her hands. After the first shocked gasps in seeing the pictures of extremely ugly demons in it, she'd managed to concentrate on the facts and actually be a lot of help in research.

"Patrol is unpredictable," Willow said with the voice of experience.

"Even more so now," Giles added, reaching for his tea. Taking a sip he sighed deeply then pulled his glasses off and rubbed his tired eyes. "We know a lot by now about the Gate of Hell. What we still don't know who this master vampire is. None of the books give the slightest hint."

"I've been through every web-page I know," Cordelia announced from her spot behind the laptop, "The oldest vamp I found is 500 years. But Angel said even the one they met last night was older." With a shake of her head she leaned back, running her hand through her short hair. "One would think that vamps of that age should have met at least one watcher or a slayer, but this guy must have laid low for a very long time.""That's it," suddenly excited Wesley jumped up from his chair, walked quickly to the large table in one of the corners, and came back with a thick book. "Rupert," he addressed the watcher, "Cordelia is right."

"I am?" the brunette asked, not quite understanding what they were talking about, but liking the attention nevertheless. "Well, I mostly am," she added, "still most of the time nobody cares to listen."

Wesley ignored her comment, "We were only researching vampires that actually crossed the path of humans, that walked the earth." He shook his head over his own stupidity, "We should've thought about vampires that aren't. That," he looked up, locking his eyes with Giles', "have been confined."

Understanding dawned in the older man's eyes, "Like the master Buffy killed some years ago. He wasn't able to walk the earth. Good God, what if this particular master was confined by the -"

"Demon's Dimension," Willow finished his sentence.

"Exactly," Wesley nodded at her. "What if all this was meant not only to free the heart of evil, but first and foremost to free the master."

"But..." Tara stammered, her eyes wide with dread, "that w-would mean it could be any m-master. There must be more then one down there."

"Really not liking the idea," Xander had paled visibly.

"What if they're trying to free all of them?" Dawn asked innocently. Instant silence settled over the room, only disturbed by some shocked gasps. The slayer's sister felt herself suddenly very much as the center of attention. "Uh... it was just a thought," she said helplessly.

"Unfortunately," Giles said, his voice grave, "it was a good one. What if really?"

****

"Wow," Faith straightened her back, then looked down at herself and with a grin, brushed her clothes to get rid of the vampire ashes that settled all over her. "This is number 10 for tonight. Talk about action around here. Sunnydale definitely has changed. But hey, I was brought here to slay, and here we are, slaying like champions." Suddenly she cocked her head and gazed at the vampire standing beside her, "What I wanted to ask. How come you've joined this game?"

"Game?" he raised a brow at her.

"Yeah, game," she pointed the stake in her hand at him and Spike unconsciously stepped back. "You know. Good versus evil. I mean you're a big badass vampire, right? I know about the chip, but why are you hanging around the slayer?"

Uncomfortable with the subject Spike turned away, "You think there might be more around?" he asked, looking into the darkness that for his preternatural eyes was just a little darker than dawn.

"Still not enough fighting for you?" she joked behind him. "Well, teeth-boy, I suppose tomorrow night you get everything you're dreaming about."

He muttered something unintelligible under his breath, and then turned around, "And what's the matter with you. A slayer turned evil? Not the average kind either." He saw her flinch at his words and almost felt bad for her. Almost. "You've still got your soul and stuff, so what's your excuse."

"None of your business," she snapped, thrusting the stake under her waistband. Suddenly she smirked, "Didn't think you liked being around your grand-daddy. I mean, I've only heard about you two sharing a woman, but," she let her eyes roam over his figure, "comparing the two of you it isn't hard to guess who won."

"Fuck you," Spike snarled, spinning away from her, and began to walk.

"Oh," she grinned, following him, "I've hit a nerve, haven't I. Poor Blondie has lost a girl to Angel. Maybe it wasn't just one," she guessed and he actually flinched. The same moment it hit her, "Oh holy shit, you have the hots for B." Her laugh was loud and incredulous. "There has to be something about her that all the undead fall for her. Goodness gracious," she shook her head. "So first you lose your vampire honey and now you've got to watch Angel banging the new flame. What a pathetic life."

Spike stopped instantly, whirled around and got right into her face, "Oh, and you are so much better, huh?" he growled. "Your so called friends got you out of jail, and for what? To feed you to some loony vampire master that sees himself as the new ruler."

It cut deep. His words sliced through her like a knife, but Faith struggled not to let him see how much he hurt her. She knew exactly why Angel got her out of jail for a few days, why Kate had brought her to Sunnydale. But it hurt hearing someone saying it loud and in such a hurtful way. But she also remembered Angel risking everything, even his relationship with Buffy, to help her. And somehow that counted more.

So she managed to smile coolly at him, "At least I have friends, while you," she shrugged, "But then you're just an evil vampire. With a little chip in his head of course." She reached out and patted his cheek with her hand in mocked pity, "Poor vampy."

He growled again and narrowed his eyes. Damn, this girl was tough. She wasn't like Buffy, or Red, or all the other human girls. She wouldn't back down. She didn't break and start to cry in front of him. He knew he'd hurt her, but she held her head high and didn't try to evade his eyes. Involuntarily Spike felt himself admiring her. And by God, he thought, she is beautiful with all that anger in her eyes, her hair flying in the nightly breeze.

Plus he'd seen her power when she fought by his side. She was the same deadly weapon as Buffy, but unlike the blond slayer, she'd tasted the dark side, smelled the temptation of evil, felt the power of killing.

Spike felt his body respond, quickly, urgently, powerfully and before he could think twice he surprised himself and her by pulling her roughly to him and capturing her lips in a passionate kiss.

****"Angel," Buffy breathed when he finally raised his head, they were staring into each other's eyes. She felt her heart beat frantically in her chest, forgotten were all the demons and the danger surrounding them. Forgotten also the pain of hearing the very dark hours of their relationship.

"Buffy," he responded, not letting go of her, holding her, his hand caressing her back, sending goose bumps allover her body. They were mesmerized, caught in each other. There was nothing, but them, no vampires, no prophecies, no Gate of Hell.

Drawing a shaky breath Angel closed his eyes for a moment, then exhaled the unneeded air. "I want you," he admitted on a little, shaky laugh. "But this isn't the time and place for it."

"I want you too," she replied.

"Buffy," he all but growled.

She suddenly giggled in his arms, "I always wanted to make love to you in a graveyard."

"Oh God," he groaned.

"Oh, yes," she whispered, passion searing through her. "I want you, Angel," she repeated her words from just before. "Now."

"This is madness," he whispered, but already felt himself give in, her warm, sensual body too tempting in his arms, he realized that he was already pushing her into the direction of a crypt. "Buffy," he whispered her name again. It sounded almost exotic in his passion colored, hoarse voice.

"Yes, madness," she agreed, "let us be crazy together," she whispered, before words became unnecessary.

Part 27

"I still can't believe you did that," Spike muttered while he was following Faith through Restfield cemetery. Unconsciously his hand moved to his cheek to rub the bruise that was showing there.

"You better shut up," she hissed, not bothering to turn and look at him. "Be glad that one punch was all you got after the stunt you pulled on me."

"Stunt, my hell," he shot back. "I kissed you."

"Yeah, and I can still taste that undead-flavor on my lips," she replied, scanning the area.

"Don't make me laugh," he said, "you enjoyed kissing me. You all but melted in my arms. Not that I want to brag," he had to snicker at that, "don't get me wrong, but I've got quite a reputation with kissing. So I say again. You enjoyed it."

"Enjoyed?" she echoed, anger radiating from her in waves, "Dream on, vamp-boy."

"Uh-huh," he grinned, enjoying this teasing-game. It was almost like post foreplay between lovers, only that he and Faith hadn't had sex. Damn that stupid fledgling. "If that vamp hadn't disturbed us, who knows what would've happened."

"You should thank his pile of ashes. Without him you would be blowing in the wind right now. Thanks to him you just got a small bruise."

Spike laughed out loud, "Yeah, sure." He reached into his pocket to grab a cigarette. He still couldn't believe that she'd hit him after they'd dusted the vamp. As he lit his cigarette, he saw her stop and did the same. "What?" he asked.

"I hear a noise," she announced, her face crunched in concentration, "I think it came from over there," she pointed at a large crypt.

"A noise?" Spike raised a brow. "Let's have a look."

They both approached the crypt, avoiding noises. When they were almost there, the blonde vampire whispered, "There's a human in there. I hear a heartbeat. That's really odd."

"Yeah," she whispered back. What would a human do in a crypt, in a graveyard, at night? The moment she pushed the door open she had her answer. Sprawled out on the ground and obviously naked under the duster that covered them, barely, were Angel and Buffy, lying in each other's arms, her head resting on his chest.

Spike stopped dead, the moon bathing the scene before them in a pale light. The opening of the door had woken the couple on the ground, the slayer was blinking her eyes sleepily, while the blond vampire could clearly hear an annoyed growl coming from his grand-sire's chest.

The two slayers and vampires stared at each other for along moment, Angel pulling the duster more protectively over his mate.

But afteranother minute the whole situation began to sink in and the lovers began to laugh. Actually Buffy started to giggle, but Angel soon joined her. Spike rolled his eyes and exclaimed, "Bloody Hell! What did I do to earn this?"

Faith only looked back an forth between the blond vampire and the couple on the ground, then she joined the lovers in their laughter.

****

Willow's head snapped up when the book she'd just been holding suddenly met the ground with a loud thump. She blinked rapidly in confusion only to realize that she obviously fell asleep. Turning her head, she was met with her lover and found Tara smiling at her, then reaching out a hand their fingers touched and they shared a very private moment, that was suddenly disturbed when Xander returned from the kitchen of the mansion carrying a tray with coffee.

"Oh look, the little witch is back with us again," he joked, giving his long-time friend a warm smile. "Here, the first cup's for you," he said, offering her the hot, black drink, adding, "I made it. Not Cordy."

The former may queen gave him a nasty look, but he just grinned, and noticed that he managed not to think about Anya for about five minutes. Maybe it was a good sign, he thought, maybe it showed he was making progress, getting over her betrayal. But somehow he doubted it. Willow's words made him think and then there was the tiny little fact that he loved her. Coward or not, he loved her. And this love, unlike the ones he believed to feel for Cordelia, Buffy, even Willow, was real.

He had no idea if Anya was the one. He saw too many relationships break up, too many hearts break than to easily believe in forever and always. Those were words for certain vampires and slayers. He just knew he loved Anya and that he was willing to make their relationship work and that he'd do everything to keep her. They were both still very young, but it felt so right to think about marrying her, so he decided to ask her and she said yes.

Damn he loved her. Why had she left? Was Willow right? Had he been too hard on her? Expected too much from a person that had joined the human race only a couple of years ago, a girl who still struggled to find her place in life. She hadn't run when Glory had threatened all of them. No, she had stayed and told him she loved him, so why now? Why now when their wedding was only weeks away where they would promise to love each other for better and worse?

But then she hadn't known Glory before while she'd... Uneasiness settled in his stomach like lead. "How do we find out what masters might be in the Demon's dimension?" he asked to avoid further thinking about the subject.

"We can't," came Giles' answer. "There's no way to find out."

"But how can we fight something if we don't even know what it is?" Dawn asked, stifling a yawn. It was already well after midnight. Part of her enjoyed the fact that nobody had bothered to send her to bed, but the other part knew why and didn't like it one bit.

"Well, tomorrow we'll know," Cordelia said sarcastically, shutting her laptop. The images were already blurry and her eyes hurt like hell. She was sure she was getting wrinkles from all the frowning. Maybe by this time tomorrow the Gate of Hell would be opened and wrinkles would be her least problem. And then, maybe not. Smoothing the skin of her forehead with her fingers, she sighed, "And we have two slayers and two vampires. That has to count for something."

"Don't forget two witches," Willow piped, feeling the caffeine working in her bloodstream.

"That is most certainly a relief," Wesley agreed. "We do have some supernatural power amongst us. Still, we might be facing up to ten master vampires," he sadly shook his head, "I have no idea how to handle them."

"I doubt they're immune to teaser guns," Riley offered from his spot beside Kate, eager to point out the power of his squad. They exchanged a short glance and the police officer gave him a short smile.

"I'm afraid they are," Giles replied, pulling his glasses off again. God, he was getting old. He could hardly see the words on the pages. He was dead tired, but he couldn't sleep either. "You see a master vampire is unlike others. You never encountered such a creature. It's..."

"Frightening," came Angel's voice from the doorway. "A master's more powerful than anything you could imagine. It's not the power of his body, although his strength is unique, but first and foremost he overwhelms you mentally. Masters can invade your mind, force you to act like their slave." He walked into the hall, his clothes rumpled, Buffy's hand again firmly clutched in his, her clothes not any better. Behind them Spike and Faith appeared, their faces wearing similar, amused, expressions.

"But even with all that a master vampire is still a vampire, right?" Riley asked, standing up, pacing the hall. He couldn't sit still for another second. He'd seen Buffy often enough after they having sex, so he knew the signs. Her face all but glowing and she looked like a woman thoroughly loved. There was no mistaking what they did during patrol. Damn it, he thought, damn him, damn her, damn the situation, damn fate. He still loved her, but the expression in her eyes made perfectly clear that there was only one man in her life, the only one she'd ever truly loved. It had hurt to admit it to himself all those months ago, but to see them together was tearing all the barely healed wounds open again.

"You're asking if a master can be killed by a stake through the heart, right?" Angel replied, "Then the answer is yes. The problem is getting the stake there."

"I wouldn't like to be the one trying," Spike said from behind him, walking into the light, and the bruise on his cheek shining in the light. "The master, Darla's sire, could kill you by just looking at you. And I've seen some more of them during our time in Europe. Really not the kind of fellow you'd like to meet. But why this talk about masters? I thought we don't even know what we're going to face."

"We don't," Wesley agreed, "but Cordelia just had a thought and unfortunately it sounds rather likely." He looked at the two slayers and the two vampires and explained the theory they'd been talking about before. When he ended Angel nodded.

"Yes, it sounds possible," he gazed at Buffy.

"Don't ask me," she threw her hands in the air, "I remember the master, but only bits and pieces. But I know I killed him," she frowned suddenly, then tilted her hand, looked at Angel and asked, "Twice?"

"Sort off," he replied. "You killed him once. The second time you just smashed his bones to make sure he stayed dead."

"Which was, thinking about the things we're going to face, a very smart thing," Xander said approvingly, reclaiming his seat again. "At least that one's not coming back."

"Why doesn't that make me feel better?" Cordelia stood and walked over to the table to get a cup of coffee. "Are you alright now?" she asked Buffy, surprising the others with her concern."Getting there," the blond slayer replied, sharing a private smile with her boyfriend, who if he hadn't been a vampire, would've blushed. Not something he wanted to do in front of Riley. Sometimes being a vampire came in handy.

"Good," Willow gave her friend a warm smile. "We really need our four fighters in best shape." She tilted her head, "That reminds me, what happened to you Spike?"

His sidelong glance at Faith held a warning, before he answered, "We met a couple of really nasty vamps out there."

"Oh," the redhead said. "Not as stupid as the others?"

Faith's grin was very wide when she replied, "No, not stupid at all

Part 28

When Riley finally left the mansion the first rays of the morning sun had appeared. He was weary and every step seemed heavier than the one before. God, he was tired. It wasn't that he wasn't used to staying up all night, he was still a young man and as such he shouldn't mind sleep-deprivation. Yet, he couldn't remember ever having been so tired before.No, not just tired, disillusioned maybe. Or both. Yes, definitely both. It had been shocking to listen to all the revelations, the description of the upcoming danger. **It's tonight.** The thought should've rocked him to the core, but it didn't. What really got to him was watching Angel and Buffy for hours. Not only the way they were acting around each other, just everything.

The way the vampire had pulled the slayer behind the curtain and she followed him. The way her eyes had been all puffy and red and had glowed after returning from patrol with him, or whatever you wanted to call what they did together. And last but not least the way she all but ignored him the whole evening.

Sure, she had lost her memory, but listening to her friends Riley understood that she'd also recovered parts of it. She'd even told him she remembered him. But somehow it didn't seem important to her and that bugged him. They had been together for over a year for God's sake and that had to mean something. Anything.

But it didn't, not now, and maybe not ever. Maybe the fact that she didn't remember a single kiss or just one simple emotion they'd shared told him more than words ever could. He thought he'd lost all illusions about their relationship months ago, but now he knew he was wrong. There had still been that tiny bit of hope, the wish that he might have been more than just a distraction, a help to recover from a painful breakup.

More than just a rebound guy.

He loved her with all his heart. Riley had been sure she was the one, but he was never anything but the rebound guy. And for a vampire of all things. If there wasn't irony, he didn't know what was. An unhappy laugh escaped his throat. They were like attached at the hip, barely a minute had passed that night where vampire and slayer hadn't been touching and time and again they exchanged a smile, a loving glance and each time Riley wanted to shout.

How on earth was he going to get through this? Not in his wildest dreams had he imagined his return to Sunnydale would be like this. That it would hurt so much. Cost him so much. Pride. Love. Hope. All of them were damaged, his pride hurt, his love stamped on, and hope destroyed. Talk about feeling like crap, he thought. He would give his non-existent wealth to just switch off his feelings for the blond girl, but he couldn't. He still loved her. But finally he had to accept that they were never meant to be.Their whole relationship had been nothing but a bad joke. Not intentionally, he was sure of that. He had loved her and Buffy... Riley was certain she'd tried her best to make herself believe he was exactly what she wanted. But self-betrayal worked only for so long. On both sides. He had told her he was leaving, but she hadn't done anything to hold him back. Deep inside she must have known, that it had been a lie.

A lie.

Somehow that hurt more than anything else.

Riley reached for his car-keys when he heard the door of the mansion open and shut again. He turned to see Xander coming towards him and saw that the other man's car was right behind the commando's. "Going for some doughnuts?"

"Sort of," Xander replied with a nod, "The gang needs breakfast. We're going to stay here for planning. I was surprised to see you leaving."

"I need to go back to report. But I'll be back in awhile so we can coordinate our actions for tonight." Riley leaned back against his car and blinked his tired eyes into the morning sun. "I didn't see Anya in there," he said after a moment.

"No," Xander said hesitantly. "We had a fight."

"I see," the commando nodded, "You're going to work it through?"

"Who knows," the other man sighed and leaned against his own car. Then added, "I hope. I love her."

"Love just sometimes isn't enough." Riley turned his head slightly so that he could look at Xander. The other man had always been supportive of his relationship with Buffy, and to a certain extent the blond commando had seen him as a friend. Not the kind of friend as Graham, but Riley trusted Xander and he liked him. "Do you think it will be enough for them?" he asked nodding at the mansion.

"Buffy and Angel?" Xander raised a brow. Then he rolled his eyes, "Who knows. But after what they've been through, I'd have to bet it would. If we're going to survive tonight of course."

The commando nodded slowly, looked back into the sun and closed his eyes. "I got the impression you weren't fond of him either," he said after a while.

"I wasn't," Xander admitted, "And I doubt we'll ever be the bestest buds. The guy bugs me. A lot actually. But I've grown up too, you know."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that I've looked inside of me and didn't like what I found. Like the fact that I was jealous of Angel or rather the kind of love he and Buffy shared. Or both," he suddenly laughed. "At the beginning I had the hots for her, then when I got over it, I just was jealous of the things they shared. They had some sort of understanding, some silent communication," he shook his head, laughed again, "I didn't like seeing it. I put Buffy through a lot with my stupid behavior. We all did."

"And she chose him," it wasn't much of a question.

"No, she didn't. She was torn. Between her friends and Angel. That was after all the going-evil-stuff. After we all saw what his alter ego was capable of. We all had difficulties to make differentiating between them, all except Buffy. She took him back with open arms. She never had a problem seeing Angel and Angelus as two different people. She was even better at it than Angel. Sometimes I think that was part of the reason he left. That she was stubbornly refusing to see the demon inside of him.

"But of course that wasn't it. I think Angel noticed how torn she was. Between her hopes and wishes, her love for him, her friendship to us, her watcher, her mom," Xander shook his head. "I think he left because he made himself believe that because she was so young, she would get over the love they shared more easily than living in that kind of dilemma."

He sighed deeply. "I think I finally got that part of the whole breakup was our non-acceptance of Angel and the fact that he loved her. We all underestimated how much he loved her, that her happiness would be more important for him than his. But of course we all never realized that happiness without him wasn't truly possible."

"God, I really love to hear these revelations," Riley made a strangled sound and rubbed his forehead.

"Did I say anything you didn't know already?" Xander asked, looking at the other man.

Riley turned his head as well, then on a sigh he said, "No. No, unfortunately not. It was the reason I left. Because I knew that she wouldn't love me or at least not the way I wanted her to. But you know what the real problem is? I still can't stop loving her." He blinked rapidly, feeling tears well up in his eyes. God, he was pathetic. "Man, this sucks," he said harshly.

Xander looked at the commando for a moment, and then reached out and put a hand on the blonde's shoulder, "I don't know if it helps any, but I know exactly how you feel. Whatever they do, we can't just stop loving them. But we can't force them to love us back either, can we?"

"No," Riley agreed, turning and opening the door of his car. He was about to get in, then suddenly stopped again, "Tell me something," he said without looking up, "We're good guys, aren't we? Then why does this happen to us?"

"Because life isn't fair," Xander replied without hesitation.

"Yeah," the commando nodded, "But somehow that didn't make me feel better."

Xander smiled slightly at this, "Whoever said you should?"

****

"How are we doing this?" Faith asked looking around in the hall of the mansion that was almost overcrowded. Gunn and his friends had joined them shortly before sunrise and you could barely move without bumping into someone. When she had everyone's attention she clarified, "I mean, how are we going to fight tonight? By now we know what they're planning, we know they might set free a number of master vampires, but there's still no real plan."

"Well, we go there, plant a stake in their hearts and then wave them goodbye," Gunn grinned at her and his friends laughed nervously. From time to time someone had tried to lighten the mood, but it didn't really work.

"If I recall correctly," Kate said from her spot on the sofa, a cup of strong coffee firmly in one hand, "Angel said that this is the problem."

"So he did," Giles nodded, giving her a smile. "What we really need is a plan to overcome a master's ability to hypnotize people, to force his will on others."

"We could try a spell," Willow offered, exchanging a glance with Tara. "I have no idea how, but we could look."

"Do that," the watcher said approvingly. "It's at least worth a try. And let's not forget that we have some preternatural power on our side as well." His smile was tight now. "Speaking of which," he looked around. "Where are they?"

"Uh... Spike went to one of the back rooms," Cordelia said yawning. She wasn't sure how she could manage to stay awake and functioning, but she would. The world was at stake. A couple of years ago she wouldn't have bothered with this, but now... Now she was different. A vampire had changed her view on things. Talk about weird, she thought. "And the other two are over there," she nodded at the curtain that was closed.

"Oh," was all Giles said to that. Well, he sighed inwardly, they probably needed this time together. Nobody knew if it would be their last and even if it wasn't, the night had been traumatic for Buffy, hearing about Angel being sent to hell and probably some other things as well. The watcher sighed again, there was enough time to talk about this later, he decided. "Faith, why don't you train with them for a while," he suggested looking pointedly at Gunn and his friends.

The brunette slayer grinned, "Sure. Come on guys. Ready for some serious pain?"

****

"How are you feeling?" Angel asked, tightening his arms around his mate and gently kissing her crown. They were seated on his large bed, the curtain hiding them from curious eyes. Buffy's back was leaning against his broad chest, his chin resting on her head, their hands intimately entwined in her lap.

"Tired," she said and laughed slightly. "Also afraid," she admitted after a short silence. "Angel, what if-"

"Shhhh," he soothed.

"No," she shook her head stubbornly. "It could be our end, couldn't it? We could all die. Willow, Tara, Giles," she took a deep breath, "Dawn and..." she stifled a sob, "you."

"Don't think about it," he whispered, breathing a kiss behind her ear.

"But we need to. Angel, we can't just do as if-," this time she couldn't stop the sob and the vampire quickly turned her around so that she was facing him now. Gently stroking her cheeks with the tips of his fingers, tracing her lips, heleaned forward and kissed her softly, lovingly.

"I know," he said quietly, "I know we could die, cease to exist, but we have to believe we can overcome this, Buffy. We need to. Without it we've lost long before we even start fighting."

"You know all about this, don't you," she said looking deeply into his eyes. "When I died, you wanted it to end, didn't you?"

He was almost startled by her words, her insight into his soul. After a moment he said simply, "Yes. I did. I've been to the bottom before. I've lived of off rats in the streets before we met and then," he frowned to get a grip on his emotions, "When I left Sunnydale," he shook his head.

"I understand," she replied kissing his jaw. "I do now. I don't think I did before. I can't remember everything, but somehow I have a feeling I was too angry to understand how much you were suffering too."

He smiled slightly at her words. This amnesiac Buffy was so much more grown up than the one he remembered, but maybe it was just the fact that all the pain he involuntarily inflicted on her was just like a far away cloud, not so real, so hurting as before. "But I managed to go on. Knowing that you were around, somewhere on this planet, fighting the same fight, hopefully happy... It wasn't enough, could never be enough, but at least I knew you were out there. When you died," laughed unhappily, "Cordelia once asked me if there was a shrink for vampires. For the first week they handcuffed me to the bed."

Reflexively she tightened her arms around him. But he shook his head, "I wouldn't have killed myself. I thought about it, I won't deny it, but I wouldn't have. I could only think how disappointed you would be if I just gave up. So there was simply no way."

"I love you," she whispered. "Make love to me."

He chuckled, "Do you think this is a good idea? We have a whole audience out there."

Her answering grin was wicked, "Then we just have to be real quiet."

"You are insatiable Miss Summers."

"Uh-huh," her grin got even wider and her eyes flickered to his lap. "I know someone else who's insatiable as well."

"God, I love you," he said fiercely, pulling her close. "I love you," he repeated. "So very much."

"I know," she kissed him deeply, "I do too. Love me, Angel. Show me how much you love me," her eyes were huge and a little bit sad, when she added, "It could be the last time. Let's not waste it."

Their lips met again, more urgent this time, and losing themselves in each other they quickly forgot that only a velvet curtain was separating them from about 20 people.

Part 29

Kate felt her lids drop heavily when the afternoon arrived. Not even the horrible pictures in the book in her lap, the upcoming danger or the uncounted cups of coffee she'd consumed since she'd arrived in Sunnydale could prevent that. She couldn't remember ever having been so tired before.

The room around her had fallen quiet as well. Gunn's ever bouncing friends had left for a stroll around the town and given the size of Sunnydale would be probably back soon. Cordelia had fallen asleep over her laptop, Gunn was dozing in a corner and Wesley was constantly rubbing his eyes, trying to keep himself from falling asleep.

The redhead, whose name was Willow and the other girl, her lover, were sleeping in each others arms on the large leather sofa while the young man they called Xander had left an hour ago and promised to be back in the evening. The young girl, Dawn, was sleeping in a large seat, her form curled up, her hands like a pillow beneath her head.

Giles, older than Wesley, hadn't been able to fight nature. His head was rolled back, his glasses dangling askew from his nose, and a slight snoring sound left his mouth with every inhaled breath.

Only Faith and Spike seemed to be under the influence of overflowing energy. They'd slept a little in the morning, but were now somewhere in the building sparring again. But then, Faith had been confined to jail for a long time and Spike was a vampire. Kate read a lot about vampires but she'd never come across information how much sleep they required.

She felt uneasy in the presence of Angel's grand-childe. Not that Spike could hurt her. Giles had assured her that the chip worked perfectly, but the police officer had a hard time accepting Angel, even with his soul, a real human asset. Spike on the other hand was still an evil creature, only a tiny bit of metal preventing him from killing humans. Although so far he hadn't bothered her at all. And even if it was clearly visible that Angel was not fond of the bleached blond vampire, he seemed to tolerate him, even trust him up to a certain extent. And Kate had learned to trust Angel.

Thinking about him her eyelashes fluttered open. He and the little blond slayer hadn't returned from behind the curtain so far. It had been quiet there, only one or two moans had penetrated the velvety material. The people in the hall had exchanged one or two amused glances at that, but nobody commented on it and that, more than anything else, told Kate that they all approved of the uncommon relationship. Because it was only too clear what vampire and slayer had been doing in the bedroom.

Kate smiled when she saw Giles stir, blink and then fish for his glasses that were about to fall. When his eyes met hers he smiled back. "It seems I fell asleep." He stifled a yawn, and then rolled his head over his shoulders.

"You deserve it," the blond officer whispered, not wanting to weak the ones who'd been blessed with sleep. "You've been doing this longer than I have and I can't remember having ever been so tired before."

He laughed slightly, a nice sound, Kate decided, "I severely doubt that," he said. "You work with the police. I suppose long working hours, even working all through nights are familiar to you."

She made a dismissive gesture, "Oh that. Yeah, we do one on occasion. But this is so all consuming."

"Frightening," Giles amended for her. "To think it could be the end of the world. I know I sound oddly rational about it, but then, I've faced these situations before."

"And to think that all those people around us are so oblivious. They have no idea what's really going on. I was one of them, until I met Angel. And even then I didn't see what he was until..." she sighed, and shook his head. "Waking up wasn't that nice."

"Angel told me that vampires killed your father. I'm sorry."

"Thanks," her smile was tight. "I almost lost it over that. I couldn't deal with all the new, frightening information."

"Nobody could blame you," his smile was genuine. "How do you think I felt when my father took me aside and told me about the darker side of life. I was only ten." He saw her gasp and smiled again. "He was a watcher like I am. My whole family was devoted to the cause. It was only logical for me to become a watcher as well. Of course I had dream of becoming something else, but somehow I couldn't."

"Yeah," she nodded understandingly. "My father was a police officer too. I happened automatically with me."

They shared a moment of common silence, before Giles spoke again, "You and Angel seem... close."

"Really?" she laughed shortly, almost disbelievingly, "Well, it's nice to hear. But the truth is, we went a long way to get where we are now. Friends," she explained. "And it's mostly his doing. He's amazingly stubborn."

Giles smiled, thinking about a certain blond slayer, the many things she shared with the dark-haired vampire, "I know what you mean," he said.

"Do you?" she raised a eyebrow, then sighed. "Yeah, I suppose you do. But he's the best friend I ever had," another unhappy laugh, "or the only one, thinking about it. I never had them really. Friends, I mean. I had a partner for a while. Then buddies at the office. But they're all men and sometimes incredibly rude." When she saw him look quizzically, she explained, "I'm female and a blond. Being the center of all dumb and rude jokes is only logical."

"Oh," he made, a little bit startled. This sort of behavior was completely unfamiliar to Giles and again he realized how far away from the real world he lived. "What about your private life?"

"Private life?" she echoed. "Police work and having a private life don't really mix. If you don't come to your dates or have cancel them all the time..." she shook her head and laughed again.

"Yeah," Giles nodded, his eyes shortly darting to the curtain. Maybe Buffy wasn't as alone in her way of living than she thought.

"I suppose," Kate, said, tilting her head, "it must be the same for you. Even more so as you can't go running around and telling people about what you do."

"You have no idea," he agreed, smiling at Wesley who had put down his book and was listening with interest. "Wouldn't you say, Wesley?"

"Oh sorry... yes, absolutely. Being a watcher is almost as lonely as being a slayer," the younger man said with a nod. Then he added, "Or an ensouled vampire. I think Angel tops all of us." He glanced towards the curtain and amended, "Or did."

"Is Riley..." Kate began then cleared her throat, "I really don't want to seem nosey, but quite frankly I am. What kind of person is he? He seems to know most of the people here, but he seems..." she shrugged, searching for the right word, and finally decided on, "non-fitting."

"He was Buffy's boyfriend for over a year," came Willow's sleepy voice from the sofa. She blinked against the brightness of the light. "And for a while he did belong to the group. But things happened," she said, a bit hesitant to enfold the whole story, "Riley worked for this government organization, called the Initiative."

"Doesn't he work for them now?" Kate asked, feeling a bit confused.

"Yes, he does," the redhead confirmed. "But when he first came here, his boss, one of our professors, went nuts and used her knowledge to create some sort of monster. She tried to kill Buffy. When Riley resisted he had to leave and hide for a while. After things cooled down he just became a normal student. But when he lost his strength..." she sighed, "things fell apart."

"His strength?" Kate was even more confused.

"Uh-huh," Willow said, "he was surgically altered and given drugs and stuff. So he'd be stronger and fight better. But it caused severe medical problems. They had to do surgery on him and afterwards he was just a normal Joe. He had problems to deal with it."

The blond police officer raised a brow, "And that was the reason he and Buffy split up?"

"It was a point, but not the reason," the witch admitted, "Riley realized that she didn't love him. Not the way he wanted it. She couldn't get over Angel," she added with a shrug.

A smile played around Kate's lips, "No kidding," she said. When she saw the others look at her quizzically, she grinned, "Well, if given the choice which one would you take?"

They all laughed. Still chuckling, Wesley said, "Really Kate. I thought you and Angel are just friends."

"Oh, we are. But that doesn't mean I've closed my eyes. I mean, Riley isn't bad," she looked at Willow now, with a very feminine expression, "Not bad at all, actually, but Angel is... well, Angel."

"Definitely," Willow agreed.

Giles couldn't help but shake his head at this, "Leave it to women to be only interested in men's bodies."

"Oh come on, Giles," came Cordelia's voice from behind them. She walked over to the table and got herself another cup of coffee, then found a spot beside Wesley. "You might be old," she began and seeing him casting her a nasty look, she grinned, "well, you are older than I, but that doesn't mean you stopped looking." She leaned back on the sofa and eyed him speculatively, while she brought the cup to her lips, "Because I could swear you were quite interested in Kate's assets when you first saw her yesterday."

****

"This really is fun," Faith panted, wiping the sweat from her brows. She was grinning widely at Spike and reached for the water bottle, while the vampire's gaze swept over her. "What?" she asked. "Do I have warts or something?"

He slowly shook his head, "You like being in charge, don't you?"

"Oh yeah," she confirmed. "This is like a vacation for me. It's getting mighty annoying always listening to orders in jail. It's no fun."

"Some vacation," he snorted. "You'll be glad to survive the night." And he would be too, he realized. To many vampires already knew he was helping the slayer and her friends. They wouldn't be too pleased to see him. If he was lucky they would just kill him. If not...

"This isn't the first danger I'm coming across," she said after taking a long gulp from the bottle, "lethal danger is part of the slayer job description. I knew what I was getting into when I took the offer."

"Oh?" he raised a brow. "Took the offer, huh? As far as I know there isn't actually a choice in this."

She shrugged, "No, not really. But for my part I was glad to be the one doing the pummeling for a change. I was on the receiving end for too long."

"Yeah," he replied, nodding slowly. He knew what she meant. He was a real loser while he was human. Full of dreams and hopes, but still a loser. Not that this had really changed, he thought reminding himself of his chip. He and Faith had been sparring for about an hour or rather Faith had sparred. He'd just stood and defending her punches and blows. Yeah, definitely still a loser.

Suddenly she tilted her head and gave him a glance, her eyes narrowed, "Why did you kiss me last night?," she asked. She felt something stir inside of her, something that had been buried for over a year, something she usually didn't neglect for so long. She was the slayer, yes, but she was a woman too.

"Because I wanted to," he answered, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I see," she nodded, "Do you usually do this? Kiss strange women in graveyards?"

Instantly a cocky grin appeared on his face, "Actually..." he started, wiggling his brows. "Not really, no," he amended quickly seeing her frown. "But you looked damn kissable to me."

"Did I now?" slowly she stepped closer to him. Surprised Spike backed away to the wall until he couldn't go any further.  "Afraid all of a sudden?" she asked, licking her lips.

"Uh.." he was very aware of the fact that she was close now. Very close actually.

"Ever thought about slayer stamina?"

Spike felt as if something had slammed into his gut, his male flesh reacting instantly. She was disheveled, sweaty and thoroughly messy, but she was attractive as hell, her body language was more than obvious. And it had been damned long since he'd had a woman. The stupid bimbo called Harmony didn't count. So his responding smile was all male, "I always wanted to know."

****

Angel woke slowly from his deep sleep. Shifting he felt a beloved weight on his shoulder and smiling he bent down to kiss Buffy's forehead seeing her blinking. "Hi," he said.

"Hi," she smiled back, snuggling into his chest, still hardly awake. "I like seeing you first thing in the morning."

"It's afternoon," he replied with a grin. "But you said it before, do you remember?"

"What? That I like to see you first thing in the morning?" she cocked her head, "No, actually I don't. Remember, I mean. But I definitely like seeing you."

"Well that's good. I like seeing you too."

Their lips met in a sweet kiss. "I slept well." There was surprise in her voice. "Must be the company. Nothing like a vampire in bed. No snoring, no disturbing noises. I hardly even noticed you're here, but on the other hand I do." She frowned and looked at him, "Did that make any sense?"

"It did for me," he kissed the tip of her nose. "We need to get up, sweet."

"Do we have to?" she whined. "I'm so comfortable like this." She tightened her arm that lay loosely around his waist. "Maybe we could just stay here all day and pretend there isn't some evil vampire who likes to free all the nasty masters down there."

He sighed, the light mood instantly forgotten. It was part of their fate. They would never really have peace. Angel felt anger rising in him. He could deal with this, he was a vampire, he deserved a hard life for all the things that had happened in his past, but Buffy had done nothing. It just wasn't fair. But then, the PTB weren't known for being fair.

"I'd give anything to make your wish come true," he said, stroking her hair, "but unfortunately I can't."

"Yeah," she sighed too, "I know. Maybe this will be the last time we're together in private before all hell breaks loose." She grimaced, "No pun intended," she said. Another sigh escaped her mouth, "I want you to promise that you'll do all you can to survive this. Promise."

Her gaze resting on him was intense. There was fear in her eyes, but determination too. And the will to make her dreams come true. God, she was beautiful and he wasn't sure if he'd ever loved her like this before. "I promise," he said honestly. "But you need to promise too. Without you..." his voice cracked and he had to blink. "Just promise."

"I do." She sat up in the bed and reached for him, holding his face between her palms. "I love you, Angel. And I want more of this. Us."

"Me too," he replied, holding her face the same way. "We need to believe. You taught me to believe in possibilities, did you know that?"

"No," she shook her head. "But I'm glad. I love you."

"I love you, too."

The kiss they shared was hard and urgent, full of promises and hopes and filled with the will to overcome whatever was thrown their way. Together you are strong. The words of the Morah rang in Angel's mind while he held her in his arms. Yes, they were strong. And they would fight. And they would survive.

Or die trying.

Go to Part 30