Part 7

"Mornin', little one," Spike greeted the slayer's sister as she descended from the stairs.

"Hi Spike," she gave him a sleepy smile, yawned and looked into the kitchen. "Want anything?" he asked, nodding at the bowl he was holding in his hand.

"Uh," she glanced at his blood-soaked cereal and shuddered slightly in disgust. As much as she liked the bleach blond vampire, she doubted she would ever get used to his eating habits.

His eyes followed hers and a grin spread across his features.  "I was thinking, scrambled eggs and bacon, munchkin."

"Oh," she smiled sheepishly, "Yeah, I could do with some of those. Giles isn't here?"

"Watcher-man stayed at the hospital for the night."

Her head shot up in alarm, "Why? Is something wrong with Buffy?"

"No," Spike didn't look up from the eggs he was smashing into the pan. "The Poof had some business to take care of and needed him to stay with the big sis."

Dawn sighed in relief and took a glass from the cupboard to pour herself some orange juice. "This actually smells good," she complimented and hopped up on one of the stools.

"I was famous for my scrambled eggs and bacon in my human days," he grinned at her over the rim of her glass. "Famous, huh?"

"Hey, I'm English, never heard of an English breakfast?"

"Uh-huh," she grinned as well now. How did he always do it, she wondered. She'd waken up with a heavy heart, since her first thought with her sister and within minutes Spike had made her smile, even grin. Maybe it was because he was evil, not bothered by mere human emotions. But then she remembered how he'd looked at Buffy and wasn't so sure anymore. She was certain that there was much more to Spike than met the eye. He had taken a plate from the cupboard and was about to fill it with eggs and bacon when suddenly the doorbell rang. Spike nodded at Dawn as to signal her to answer it. She nodded back. It was bright daylight; no surprises would be waiting at the other side.

How wrong she was she realized the moment she pulled the door open and came face to face with a familiar figure. "Riley," she exclaimed in surprise.

****

"What do you want?" Willow couldn't help but being taken aback by this blunt question. She knew she should be used to Anya's style of conversation but somehow she wasn't entirely. "I think, I'm expected to say good morning or something first," the former demon went on, "but you made me get out of bed and I'm still tired."

"Uh... Sorry," the witch replied. "I know it's a Saturday and early but I... That is Tara and I... We need your help."

"Oh," Anya's face lit up. She always felt a little bit like an outsider, none of the other women really befriended her.  They all merely seemed to tolerate her presence for Xander's sake. So being needed was a nice feeling for a change. "Well, then, come in." She motioned the redhead to enter and closed the door behind them. "Xander left a while ago to get some donuts," she explained her fiancé's absence. "Uh... Well," Willow nodded.

"What can I do for you?" Anya asked in a voice a salesman would've used and the witch hid a grin at the very last moment. The former demon tried so hard to fit in and it wasn't nice to laugh at her efforts. "We need your professional help, so to say," the redhead began. She saw Anya raise a brow and continued, "as a former vengeance demon you must have met a lot of people."

"Well, I was around for a while," Xander's girlfriend replied haughtily.

"I know," Willow smiled at her briefly. "Did you ever happen to come across a Romani?"

"A gypsy?" Anya asked and when she saw the other woman nod she thoughtfully tipped her finger against her chin. "Let me think? A Romani?  Hmm... Oh yeah, I remember.  There was this girl who was married to the most unfaithful rogue," her whole face lit up like a Christmas tree at the memory. "He was good looking, they all are, but...," she suddenly trailed off and narrowed her eyes at the witch, "Why are you asking me that? You were never interested in stories from the vengeance days before?" Willow eyed the other woman for a moment, before she asked, "Anya, how much do you know about gypsy curses?"

****

"Hello, Dawn," Riley smiled at the young girl before him.

"Hello," she replied and stepped back to let him in. "What are you doing here? The last thing I heard was that you went to South America."

"I did," he said looking into the living room. Not seeing anyone there, he focused back on the girl before him. "Are you on your own?"

"No, she's not," came the well-known British voice from the kitchen. Riley frowned darkly in hearing it, but Dawn just took his elbow and pulled him towards the smell of her breakfast.

"Spike was about to make me something to eat. Are you hungry?" she asked as they entered the kitchen.

"It's only enough for one," the vampire stated matter-of-factly, pushing the plate into Dawn's direction, "and I'm not cooking for soldier-boy here. Seems my relatives from the rain-forest have lost their touch with you being as all alive looking," he glanced at the commando, and then looked back at Dawn with a wink, "as ever."

"Spike," Riley merely glanced at the hated vampire and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"I'm curious," Spike leaned casually at the counter, "Why are you here? Killed all the vamps down there? But no, you don't kill them, do you? You capture them and like to poke them with little needles and stuff."

"Or plant chips in their head," Riley shot back, smirking at the vampire. "Not that it's any of your business, our squad was moved. There's a lot of vampire activity in L.A. at the moment and I thought I'd use the opportunity to stop by."

"L.A., I see." Spike scratched his skull. "So you just decided to drop in on a Saturday morning."

The commando ignored the biting comment and looked at Dawn, "Is Buffy around? I'd really like to see her. And by the way, how's your mom?"

The fork Dawn had been holding clattered on the plate and immediately tears welled up in her eyes. Spike was at her side in a flash and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Joyce died almost a year ago," he explained the stunned commando. "Rather unexpected. The slayer found her dead body. And Buffy is at the hospital in a coma, and has been for the last eight months." The vampire's voice was quiet and Dawn sent him a grateful glance. She hated to talk about her mother's death and even more so she hated to talk about her sister, especially with former boyfriends who had left her when she needed them most. She had liked Riley once, but not after all she'd heard about him.  She even heard things she wasn't supposed to, like his frequent visits to a local vampire-whorehouse, she'd decided that he wasn't worth spending a second thought on him.

"Joyce is... Oh my God... And Buffy?" Riley stuttered, suddenly pale.

"You've been gone for a while, fish-boy," Spike nudged Dawn gently in her ribs to get the girl to continue eating, he moved over to the fridge, got one pint of blood, poured it into a cup and placed it in the microwave.

"My God, Buffy," the commando whispered. "Where is she?" he asked.

"Sunnydale General," Dawn answered chewing her eggs, feeling much better now. "But she's in a coma," she reminded the ex-boyfriend, "you can't talk to her."

"And if I might suggest," Spike added, "maybe it's not the best idea to go there. You better wait until the watcher is back and talk to him first."

Although he'd really love to see his grand-sire beating the crap out of soldier he had the feeling Angel wouldn't appreciate the ex-boy-toy's presence in the slayer's room.

"And pray, why is that?" Riley sent an icy glare at the vampire. The same moment the front door opened and Giles' voice sounded through the house, "Do I smell breakfast?" he asked coming into the kitchen. "I really am-," his voice cut out when his eyes fell on the commando.

"Riley," he raised a brow, but his eyes were cold, almost hateful when he looked at Buffy's former boyfriend. "What are you doing here?"

"I asked him that already," Spike said while starting the water boiler and filling a pot with tealeaves.

"And?" Giles looked at Riley expectantly.

"Says he wants to see the slayer," the vampire answered instead. "I don't think it's a good idea," the watcher said calmly, but the icy tone in his voice was unmistakable. "Didn't you leave her? Why bother to see her now?"

"I hardly need to explain myself to you," Riley didn't intend to back down, "all I want is to see Buffy. I'm very sorry to hear about Joyce," he added.

Giles ignored the last sentence and just replied to the first two. "Buffy's in a coma. We're lucky she's alive at all, thanks to Angel. He's with her almost all the time and I don't want to upset him with your presence. Especially not now," he added almost cryptically. He had the feeling the dark-haired vampire was slowly making progress with the dreams he shared with the slayer and Giles didn't want any disturbances now. "And as Buffy's watcher I have every right to hear an explanation for your... disgusting behavior before you left."

"Angel is with her?" the commando asked incredulously. "What happened to get him back into your good graces?"

"He saved her life," Dawn answered, her voice barely above a whisper. "Without him, she'd be gone, like Mom." A single tear slipped from the girl's lashes and she quickly wiped it away. "And he helped her through a lot, Mom's death especially. While you were gone, hunting vampires in the jungle."

Riley cast his eyes to the ground for a moment and breathed in deeply. No, he wouldn't lose his temper now. They were condemning him, but accepting a vicious animal back at her side.  **God, they're all nuts.** He'd been right about them from the start. Maybe he should talk to Xander or Willow. He knew they liked him and especially Xander had never hidden his feelings for Angel. Yes, he would talk to them first. Then he would go and see Buffy. They couldn't keep him from her bed, certainly not some souled vampire ex-boyfriend who liked to play the white knight in shining armor.

"Again," he said, looking back up. "I'm very sorry to hear about Joyce. She was... a very special person. My squad is in L.A. at the moment, so we might see each other again."

"Not really looking forward to it," Spike muttered under his breath. For him the commando could just go straight to Hell and stay there.

Dawn choose to ignore the commando, so it was up to Giles to show him out of the house. "Yes. Well, thank you for your condolences. They are a bit...delayed but I know you like Joyce and she... liked you." His voice left no doubt that if Buffy's mother had known everything about Riley she would've probably changed her mind. "And as I said. If you want to see Buffy, please call me first. I'll take you, if you really want to go."

"Thank you," the commando replied politely, but wasn't sure the watcher had heard it at all through the already closed door.

Part 8

"Where are we?"  Buffy tilted her head and glanced at Angel expectantly.

It was odd, he admitted, to communicate with her through dreams. He could hold her here, kiss her and it felt real. Yet, the moment he woke up he knew it had just been imagination, or not. Part of it was real. He was sure he wasn't just imagining the conversations.

"We're in one of my worlds today," he replied with a smile. He held out a hand for her and she took it.

"It's the Santa Monica Pier," she remarked. "Why are we here?"

"I need to show you something. Something that might get you thinking."

"But I don't want to think," she said stubbornly and tried to pull her hand away but he held fast. He held her fingers tightly entwined within his. "You said you were tired and lonely and I would live a wonderful life in L.A., but that's not true. Yes, I have friends there, and yes, I even have something that resembles a family. You have that too," he stopped and forced her to look at him. "You have Willow, Xander, Giles. They are your friends. Sure Giles is your Watcher but he's so much more than that and then there's Dawn."

"Who isn't real."

"She is too. Buffy," he reached out with his other hand and cupped her chin, "she is a person. Whatever she was, she's your sister now.  She feels like your sister and I know you love her. Don't do this. Don't push them away from you."

"You don't understand," she cried. "Of course they're here. I know they love me, but there's nobody, do you hear, nobody who understands what it really means to be The Slayer." She cast her eyes to the ground, "You did, you understood. The darkness, the death and danger surrounding me, because it was, is part of your life as well."

"I'm here," he said simply and looked at her.

Slowly she raised her head. "Yes. You are here. Now. In this reality, that isn't really one. But out there, in real life, as soon as I open my eyes you will leave and I'm alone again. I'd be out battling demons, fighting vampires, saving mankind, and leading an empty, lonely life. Do you really think I'd believe that you'd be here if I wasn't in a coma?"

"I don't know," he replied honestly. "I don't have answers for all your questions and I don't know if this will be enough, but I need to show you something." **And I pray this is going to work.**

"What is it?" she asked, turning her head and looking towards the ocean. She always loved the sea, the smell of it, the salty air, the waves rolling towards the shore.

"You don't remember," he began, "but we've been here before."

"What?" her head jerked around and she looked at him confused. "No, we-"

He held up a hand, "I already told you, you don't remember. It's been almost two years. The day you came to L.A., you know, after I went to Sunnydale without telling you." When he saw her nod, he continued, "I'm not sure this is going to work, but I tried to contact the Powers That Be and-"

"Angel, my friend," came an Irish accented voice from behind them. Slayer and vampire whirled around, and in seeing the figure, the voice belonged to, Buffy smiled while Angel's face showed a mixture of joy and pain. "Doyle," he whispered.

"There you go again," the little Irishman joked. "There'll be no brooding today, my friend. I came on a mission and I don't need this brooding routine right now."

"Isn't he dead? " Buffy asked.

"This is a dream, remember?" Doyle grinned at her and winked before he focused back on his former employer. "It's good to see you," he said.

"It's good to see you too," Angel replied and desperately tried to blink the threatening tears away. "So they sent you."

"They did," the Irishman nodded. "When I died I thought I might be rewarded with a nice little Irish pub in Heaven. But of course nothing ever goes the way I want," he sighed dramatically. "Once a messenger, always a messenger. Now I'm needed to make contacts with warriors. At least the headaches are gone." He suddenly grinned, "Speaking of which. How's Cordelia?"

"Ready to kill you for your little present," the vampire said with a smile on his lips. "She tried to pass it on to everyone. Even me."

"That's my Cordelia," Doyle had to laugh. "It's a pity we never had a chance to..." he shrugged. "Anyway. That's not the reason I came." He looked back at the slayer whose face still wore a confused expression. "Come on, beautiful," he motioned her to follow him. "You're about to see a little movie. Well, at least you'll have the impression it's one, although it really did happen. And not, at the same time."

"Huh?" she frowned. "Could you be a little less cryptic?"

"Sorry," he apologized with a grin, "must be a little reminder of the time I spent with Angel here." The vampire rolled his eyes at the comment and followed his friend and his love.

The Irishman led Buffy to the place where Angel's former apartment had been. "Do you remember this spot?" Doyle asked the slayer when they came to stand in front of the ruins.

"Yes. Oh God," her head jerked around, her eyes locking with Angel's. "What happened here?"

The vampire shrugged, "Some 'friends' blew the building up."

"Yeah, well," Doyle interrupted their exchange a little bit impatiently and with a wave of his hand the scene before their eyes changed.

Buffy saw herself and Angel standing in his old office, she remembered everything about it very well. She also remembered having talked to Willow afterwards, telling her that just being in the same room with the vampire had been more exciting than having Riley around and if love wasn't meant to be like that. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and concentrated on the scene before her eyes. She expected the Mohra demon to jump in and Angel would smash the jewel in its head, but it didn't happen the way she remembered. Angel didn't kill the demon.  He didn't seem to have any idea how to do it; instead, the vampire barely avoided the stroke of its sword.  Buffy heard herself calling his name and saw how she pushed the Mohra against the wall. Angel came sliding across the floor and stabbed the demon with it's own sword. The demon jumped back, causing slayer and vampire to land on top of each other, pulled the sword out of its own body, and jumped out of the window.

(("Friend of yours?"

"Never seen it before."

"It was rude. We should go kill it."

"I'm free"

"Got somewhere I can change?"))

"Wha- What is this all about?" Buffy's eyes darted wildly between Angel and Doyle, the Irishman's expression somber and somehow compassionate. The vampire's face almost twisted in agony. "Angel?" she looked at him, a question in her eyes, pleading with him to explain what was going on.

"Just watch," he whispered hoarsely, the emotions choking him. She turned her head back to the scene before her eyes. She saw herself and Angel tracking the demon through the sewer tunnels. They were talking to each other, arguing, then he was touching some of the demon's blood.

(("I feel weird."

"I know. I do, too. I mean, I only came to see you so I could tell you    face-to face not to see me - face-to-face anymore, - and I know there is a      flaw in the logic here somewhere, but ... The next thing I knew we're being      attacked by this mutant ninja thing, and then we're on the floor on top of       each other, and it's just really confusing being around you."

"No. I- It is confusing. And I... When we're apart - it's easier. It hurts -    every day. But I live with it. And now you're - you're right here - and I    can actually reach out ... and - it's more than confusing - it's    unbearable."

"But we have to bear it, right? I mean what else can we do? I doesn't work    with us. It can't."

"No, I-I can't give you a life, or a future or anything a real girl would    want."

"No matter how much we miss each other."

"Or what we feel in the moment."

"If we let something happen here - we'd want more."))

She saw them arguing a little bit more and then parting, with herself up towards the light, Angel staying in the sewers and finally finding the demon.

Buffy felt her heart beating in her throat. Her pulse was racing a mile a minute, and she felt her whole body trembling. What was this? Was this some bad joke? She quickly glanced at Angel, but no, the pain in his eyes, the agony etched on his features was very real, almost palpable.

She could see Angel fighting the demon and finally his blood mixing with its. And then... **Oh, God** He was breathing, not just breathing because he was used to it, but needed to breathe, she could hear his heart beating, the shock in his chocolate orbs when he began to realize what was happening to him.

Then the scenery changed yet again, Angel with Cordelia and Doyle at the office. Angel was eating out of the fridge, his laughter, him making a face at the taste of yogurt, telling them he loved chocolate. Then she saw him standing in front of a window seeing his own reflection for the first time in over two hundred years.

Buffy felt her eyes water, felt the first tears run down her cheeks. This was their dream come true. Angel's human! Angel was human? The thought hit her full speed and again her head jerked around to meet the vampire's eyes. He wasn't human now. So what had happened? She realized he was fighting with tears as well and his eyes locked with hers. She suddenly knew this... Everything she was seeing right now had happened. But how, she wondered, and why couldn't she remember?

She looked back at herself when she was turning around. She was standing at the Santa Monica Pier, looking lost and feeling something. Then she saw Angel, in bright daylight, the sun shining down on his incredibly pale features while he was walking towards her. She was then pulled into his arms and they were kissing in the sunlight.

"This happened," she said finally, sure now that it wasn't some weird fantasy she was seeing.

"It did," Angel assured her. "And it didn't. Please pay attention to the rest." She did. She saw herself and Angel sitting in his kitchen, drinking tea, talking, agreeing to take it slow, touching his hand and then **Oh God**, she felt herself redden. **This is going to get x-rated. And Doyle's watching, but then he's a ghost, so why bother.** Still her face matched a ripe tomato by the time she saw herself falling asleep in Angel's arms.

(("Angel? This is the first time I ever felt this way."

"What way?"

"Just like I always wanted to. Like a normal girl, falling asleep in the     arms of her normal boyfriend. It's perfect."))

Afterwards she watched Doyle coming to get Angel, telling him about the Morah demon, and Angel refusing to wake her up, him and Doyle going on their own to fight the Morah, and almost getting himself killed. She come to his rescue, killing the demon in the end and holding him in her arms, glad he had survived.

The next cut was on Angel talking to two strange looking creatures, begging for her life, offering his in exchange, the shock on his face when they told him the only way was to swallow the day, the pain in his eyes that nothing of the wonderful hours they'd spent together would be real afterwards. Then him coming back to her, telling her what was about to happen, she crying in his arms, his tears falling on her shoulders, the clock ticking and then back in his office, Angel wearing the most confused expression on his face after killing the demon with one blow. She saw herself leaving him, not knowing anything about it. The scene faded and again she found herself standing in front of the blown up building that once had housed his office. She was trembling uncontrollably, embracing herself, and feeling cold and utterly selfish.

She'd accused Angel to lead a wonderful life in L.A., leaving her to her lonely, empty existence. Sure, she hadn't known anything about it, but that didn't make her feel any better. Angel had made the ultimate sacrifice for her, had let her go, and carried the memories of that day, that wonderful day, alone. She could only begin to imagine the pain and agony it had caused him. **Oh God, how am I ever going to apologize for what I said to him?** How had he done it? How had he found the strength to go on?

"I knew you were around," he answered her unspoken question, reading her mind. "And I was hoping you'd be happy. It broke my heart thinking about you with another man, but at least you'd be happy," he admitted brokenly. "I loved you so much," he went on. "If you love someone, really love them, nothing is more important than the person's happiness."

"I'm sorry I forgot," she whispered, not daring to look at him.

"Oh, Buffy," he reached out, but didn't allow himself to touch her. She wasn't ready for his touch yet. "I didn't show it to you to make you feel bad. I was showing it to you to tell you that," he took a deep breath, "there might be a chance we could have it again. Maybe."

"What?" she said as she whirled around.

"What my friend here is trying to tell you," Doyle put a hand on Angel's shoulder, "is that there's prophecy that once he's fulfilled his destiny he'll become human."

"Human?" Buffy stared at the vampire with huge eyes, "You're going to be human?"

"Buffy, we don't know when. The prophecy... It just says I'm going to shashu, are going to live, but it doesn't give an exact time-table. It could be years from now. I just want you to know that there's a chance that it might happen."

"I don't care," she replied quickly, her words almost tumbling over each other, "I don't care when. I'll wait, I'd wait forever for you!"

"But how are you going to do it? Sleeping? In a coma?" Angel asked gently.

"And why not?" she shot back, her chin rising stubbornly.

"And how am I supposed to fight knowing that you're lying in a hospital room, wasting your life? That you've given up?"

"I..." she didn't know what to say.

"Anyway," Doyle interrupted their exchange. "My job's done here. They're callin' me back. It was nice seein' you again, Buffy," he bowed slightly towards the slayer. "Fight the good fight, my friend," he then said, turning to Angel. "They're watching you and they like what they see."

"Thank you, Doyle, for... everything," Angel replied, referring to a lot more than just the help during this dream.

"Be seein' you," with a wink the Irishman was gone, leaving Buffy and Angel alone in their dream again.

The slayer closed her eyes for a moment, then looked back at the vampire, "What do you expect me to do now?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said gently, finally daring to take her hand. "I just wanted to show you that there are things worth fighting for, worth hoping for. Nothing is ever completely hopeless. Believe me, I know." For a moment his thoughts went back to Darla and how he'd tried to lose himself, how he'd given up and found his way back the very last moment, the image of Buffy firmly in his mind. She was the love of his life, his purpose for fighting the good fight, for going on.

"I need to think about this," she replied without looking at him.

"I know," he pulled her hand to his mouth. "Sleep, love. I'll be there if you're ready to talk again.

"I'll see you... Maybe tomorrow," her voice was uncertain.

"Whenever you're ready," he repeated.

"I love you, Angel," she said before the dream was fading.

"I love you, too."

Slowly the vampire opened his eyes, raising his head from its resting place on the slayer's belly. She looked peaceful and fast asleep. Her breath left her mouth in regular puffs. She seemed undisturbed, the same way she looked before the dream. Angel shortly closed his eyes and sent a quick prayer to whoever was listening. **Bring her back to us. To me. I need her. I need to know she'll be all right. Please let her be alright.**

He leaned forward and brushed his lips over her forehead, then took one of her small hands in his large ones and held it there for a long time. He was a vampire, he was immortal, time was not important to him, or at least not the same way it is to a human. He had learned patience was important ever since he'd regained his soul and he would wait for her. Whenever she was ready, he'd be too.

 Part 9

"Xander, I want some more of those nachos," Anya ordered, chewing the last bit of chocolate she'd been eating over the last ten minutes.

"Honey, if you continue eating like this, you're going to look like a whale in no time, and I'm going to have to divorce you," her fiancée joked while he was roaming through the cupboards to find the food she demanded.

"We aren't even married yet and you're threatening to divorce me already?" she asked not looking up from the pages she was scanning, only glancing from time to time at Tara and Willow who were watching her progress with expectant eyes.

He returned from the kitchen and dropped the pack of nachos in her lap, then let himself plop into the love seat. "Is this going to take the whole night?" he wanted to know.

"Xander, this is important," Willow reminded him. "We're doing this for Buffy, remember?"

"Actually we're doing it for Dead-Boy," he replied, playing with the remote control, "they aren't even together yet. What if he just says thanks and runs off with the next skinny blonde."

"I'm not going to comment," the redhead glared at him.

"Hey, he's just a man," he winced slightly at his own words, "well, not really, but still. He's a member of the male sex."

"And that makes him what?" Willow wanted to know. "We men tend to look for nice looking females. It's in the genes," Xander said with a firm nod, getting a stern look from his girlfriend for that remark. "Not in my genes of course, or at least, not anymore. I'm off the market."

"Mmph," Anya made and cast her eyes back on the paper.

"Are you making any progress?" Tara asked after a moment.

"No.  And if you continue asking me the same question every five minutes, I'll never get done," the former demon shot back and rolled her eyes. "Maybe you should just leave me to this. I'll call as soon as I've got it done."

"No," Willow shook her head. "This is so exciting. And we can learn a lot. You know curses aren't really something we usually do. We do spells, 'cause we're witches... Who do spells... and stuff. But curses," she bit her lower lip. "We'd like to know more though."

Suddenly Anya looked up from the pages and frowned for a moment. "This part is strange," she glanced back down, and then up again. "This has to be the part about the happiness clause. I've never seen anything like that before. And it's a strange language, not quite Romani, maybe some dialect." She rubbed her forehead. "I'm not familiar with that," she sighed, "but... maybe I know someone who knows," she jumped up in a swift movement and headed for the phone when suddenly the doorbell rang.

"I'm coming," she exclaimed and walked over to the door. She and Xander had moved into this new apartment shortly after he'd proposed to her. The others heard her open the door, making a surprised sound, then heard her saying, "I'm not talking to you," and the door slammed shut and then she was back in the living-room, took the portable phone with her on the way, sat down again and, collected the pages. Then she began to eat the nachos, while was dialing a number.

"Uh... Honey? Who was at the door?" Xander asked after a moment.

"Oh, it was Buffy's ex," she said absentmindedly, waiting for someone to answer the phone.

"Buffy's-.  Do you mean Riley?" her boyfriend asked again.

"Uh-huh," she made, listening to the ringing at the other end of the line.

"And why didn't you let him in?" he wanted to know.

"I don't like him, and now stop disturbing me," she replied angrily.

Xander closed his eyes for a short moment, then shook his head in disbelief, stood and walked over to the door and opened it. Riley stood there, hand poised to ring again and smiled when he saw the other man.

"Xander, how good to see you," the commando greeted the man he considered if not a friend then at least an ally.

"Riley."

The blonde's one eyebrow rose at the tone of Xander's voice and the more than cool glance he was getting. "Can I come in?" he asked.

Xander considered it for a moment, then nodded and moved aside, closing the door behind them, then motioned for the commando to follow him to the living room where he found his girlfriend in a lively conversation, just saying, "... yeah, wasn't that fun. And remember the guy in Italy? Yes, the one we took swimming ... well, drowning would be the better term," she laughed happily at the memory and Xander knew he didn't want to ever meet the person she was talking to.

Then he turned towards his guest, "What do you want?" he asked, hoping his voice contained enough ice for the commando to get the message that he wasn't welcome.

"I need a favor," Riley replied, looking at Willow and Tara. "Hello you two."

"H-hello," Tara greeted back, while the read-head decided to ignore him. In her eyes the things he'd done were unforgivable, even more so since she thought he'd be a wonderful partner for Buffy.  Willow hated being wrong. Riley had seemed so nice and normal and then he went off to vampire-whorehouses. **God, what is wrong with guys?**

"Wait a minute," Anya held the phone down and glared at the others. "I'm engaged in a serious phone call here," she announced, looking around.  "*You*," she glared at the two witches sitting before her, "wanted me to do this," she pointed at the papers. "So be quiet."

"Honey, why don't you take the phone and your stuff and go to the bedroom?" Xander suggested. His girlfriend shot him a look, but did get up, collected her papers and disappeared in the bedroom, slamming the door shut.

"She seems angry," Riley commented, giving Xander a compassionate look.

"No wonder," Willow stood and glared at him, "you interrupted a very important phone call. Why are you back, Riley?" she demanded.

"As I said, I need a favor. I went to Buffy's house first, but Giles all but threw me out of the door and so," he gave them a smile, "I came to the people who actually are my friends."

"Is that what you think?" the redhead raised a brow and sent him a challenging glance. "How'd you come to that conclusion?"

"What is the matter with you people?" Riley crossed his arms in front of his chest. "We were on good terms when I left. What happened?"

Maybe we found out some things about you, we didn't like," Xander replied, not trying to hide his anger. "I can't believe I even bothered to convince her to run after you," he shook his head and snorted in disgust.

"What the hell?" the commando said, "If this is about the vampires and stuff, I know it was wrong, okay?! And I'm sorry. But don't tell me that Buffy was always the normal girl. Apart from being the slayer, don't you think it's a little disturbing for her to let her boyfriend suck her blood?"

"This happened long before you even entered the picture," Willow said coldly, "it's none of your business and you only know this because Spike let it slip. You weren't there when it happened and you have no idea *what* happened and why. It doesn't give you any right to judge her and certainly doesn't apologize what *you* did."

"I said I'm sorry," he almost shouted. "I. Am. Sorry. Okay? I don't know what happened to me. When I realized that Dracula had bitten her and then I found out about Angel... I lost it. Besides, the fact that Buffy just used me to get over her grief about Angel has slipped your mind, hasn't it?"

"You didn't seem to mind being used," the redhead shot back. She was so angry now that her hands trembled and she was grateful when Tara put a hand on her shoulder. "But all of a sudden the poor boy couldn't take it anymore. I actually felt sorry for you, you know," she admitted. "But the couple last months have changed my mind. Sometimes it needs a tragedy like that to really get to know people or vampires for that matter."

"You people are all nuts!" Riley exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "Are all of you on the Angel-fan club now?" he asked incredulously. "Xander, my friend," he put a hand on the other man's shoulder. "Don't tell me you're on the team too?!"

"This isn't a game, Riley," Xander replied shrugging the commando's hand off. "This is life. Yes, I hated Angel. For a long time, actually. But as Willow said, sometimes things happen and that changes... things. Perspectives or minds. I learned a lot about Angel and maybe because my mind isn't clouded anymore," he trailed off, not feeling the urge to tell Riley he'd been jealous as hell for a long time. He thought about Anya for a moment and a warm feeling entered his heart that almost made him smile. Almost. Of course, he didn't smile, because the anger he was feeling towards Riley was preventing it from happening.

"This isn't happening," Riley looked from one person to the other in the room, then with an incredulous headshake turned and left the apartment.

****

"So you connected with her, again?" Giles handed the paper bag containing fresh pig's blood to Angel who was sitting across him in the waiting area.

The watcher had thought about telling the vampire about Riley's visit, and then decided against it. There was no reason to do it. He'd told the commando to call him first and he hoped Riley would do exactly that.

"I did," Angel nodded, and then opened the blood-container, then quickly closed it, embarrassed.

Giles gave him a quick smile, "Just go ahead. I'm used to Spike all the time and he never cares if I like it or not. I don't mind, really."

The vampire glanced at him gratefully. To tell the truth, he was starved, even more than usual. The dream, living through the forgotten day again, had been exhausting and drained him of his energy. He emptied the container with long, hungry gulps, then wiped his mouth with a cloth. "Thanks," he handed it back to Giles who looked at him expectantly.

"And?"

"I... I showed her something. Something that might change things. That was the reason I went to L.A. I needed help for this special project," he said cryptically, not really wanting to tell the watcher about his special secret that Buffy was sharing now. At least he hoped she was. True, the dreams felt real, Doyle had even been in them and still he couldn't be hundred percent sure it wasn't just his imagination.

"Do you think you made any progress?"

"It's too early to tell. I gave her something to think about and maybe she'll come to the right conclusions, but all we can do is wait," he took a deep breath, "if this is real at all, and I'm not just imagining it," he finally admitted his greatest fear.

"No," Giles shook his head emphatically in the negative. "This is real. Well as real as dreams can be.  I'm positive you're connecting with her in another reality. I've read a lot about comatose patients recently and many scientists are sure they're able to even recognize voices in their state. Taking the special circumstances with Buffy being the slayer and the fact you always shared a special bond... No, I'm positive. This is more than just dreams. You're meeting her... Her spirit ... or your two spirits meet, whatever you want to call it."

"I hope you're right," Angel said after a moment of consideration, "Because if you're wrong I have no idea what to do."

 Part 10

"Exactly what I thought," Cordelia exclaimed when she entered Buffy's hospital room and found Angel sleeping, his head resting on her stomach. The vampire's head snapped up and he looked at her through sleepy eyes.

"Cordelia?" he asked incredulously.

"It's a good thing you're a vampire," she said throwing her purse on the empty chair in the corner. "Only someone supernatural can endure this," she motioned at his position on Buffy's bed. "People would end up with a thrombosis or such."

Angel slightly shook his head, discussing inwardly what the former cheerleader was up to. He quickly glanced at the clock on the nightstand and noticed it wasn't that late, so he decided better to go through with whatever it was, quickly and as painlessly as possible. "What do you want, Cordelia?"

"What? I can't see a friend?" she raised her brows and shot him a look daring him to question her motives.

The vampire sighed, got up and walked over to where she was standing at the window. "What's the matter?" he asked gently. "Did you have any problems at the agency? With Faith?"

"No," she shook her head. "Alright, alright," she turned to him and threw her hands in the air, "I'm concerned, okay? After the things that happened with Darla..."

"This is different," he interrupted her.

"I know that," she put a hand on his arm. "Angel, I know this is different. I know you love Buffy, but the thing I'm concerned about is what's going to happen if she doesn't pull through this, what if..." she trailed off and cast him a concerned glance.

"That's not going to happen," he replied firmly, looking at the woman in the bed. "But it could, Angel you have to-"

"NO!" He pulled his arm from her touch and walked back to the bed. "Cordelia, I really do appreciate your concern, but I don't want to talk about it. There are things... We talk. I can't explain it to you, but Buffy and I... we talk through dreams."

The brunette raised a brow, "You... talk?"

"Look, I really don't want to talk about it, okay? Just leave it. Again, I appreciate your concern. I know that after Darla you always fear the worst, but this is something I have to do."

Cordelia looked at him for a long time and finally nodded. "Alright. Do you need anything? Some... blood or... anything else?"

"That's very sweet of you," Angel told her with a smile and put a brotherly hand on her shoulder. "I owe you for this."

"Dead right, you do," she shot back and grinned. Her demeanor became serious when she asked, "Did Giles tell you about the soldier boys in L.A.?"

"He did," the vampire retook his seat at the slayer's side. "Did Faith have any problems?"

"No," Cordelia removed her purse from the other chair and sat down as well. "She just saw them. She says it's the same army gear Riley wore."

"I know," Angel looked thoughtfully. "He's been here," he then said quietly.

"WHAT?!" the former may queen almost shouted, and then with a glance at the clock she repeated more quietly, "What, he's been here? At the hospital?"

"No, not at the hospital, but here in Sunnydale. He wanted to see Buffy at her house."

"And how do you know?" she asked. Giles had told her about Riley's visit, but they'd agreed not to tell Angel. There was already enough he had to deal with.

"What do you think?" he asked, raising a brow.

"Spike," she sighed loudly. "We should've known... I mean... That is, Giles thought..." she tried to amend her slip.

"It's okay," he said with a knowing smile. "He came only two hours ago, right after sundown. I'm glad he told me, not that he did it out of the goodness of his heart, although... Somehow, he's changed. I mean besides the fact he thinks he's in love with Buffy," Angel couldn't help but chuckle slightly. **Who would've thought?**

"You know, your reaction surprises me," Cordelia said, "about Spike, I mean. I would've expected you to-"

"Shout, rage, try to dismember him?" Angel asked with a grin. "Uh... Yeah, something along those lines."

"To tell you the truth... It was my first reaction. But as soon as I was able to see through the red haze of jealousy I realized that Buffy can't decide who's falling in love with her and who's not. And if I'm sure of one thing it's that she would never fall in love with Spike. She deeply believes in the fact that a soul is required to feel true love. And I'm also sure she's aware that only the chip in his head keeps him from trying to kill her."

"I hope you're right," she sighed. "Dawn seems to forget the fact sometimes."

"I know," a slightly concerned expression entered his eyes. "I don't like it, but on the other hand he's different around her. I know it's strange, but it almost seems he truly cares for her." "You just said..."

"I know," he held up a hand. "I know what I said. But caring for someone and loving someone is completely different. And Spike," he shook his head, smiling slightly, "the way he felt for Drusilla... Yes, she was his sire, but their bond was far beyond that. Darla was my sire and Angelus might have been infatuated with her, but he certainly never felt anything comparable. Spike and Drusilla were... Well, they were unique," he chuckled in seeing Cordelia's surprised expression, "in their own twisted way of course. He was devastated when she dumped him. Willow can tell you a lot about it."

"Oh, I remember that," she replied. Certainly, she would never forget Xander and the redhead engaged in that passionate kiss when all she and Oz had thought about was saving their lives. It had been the end to her strange romance with the boy and somehow, thinking back now, in a twisted sort of way, she was grateful for that. Xander and I, she thought with a slight shudder.

"Anyway," Angel took Buffy's small hand in his large one and gave the brunette a smile, "as long as he looks out for Dawn I'm not going to question his motives. Giles says he behaves well enough. And besides," he said, grinning, "it must be hell to live with such a chip being evil inside."

Cordelia just shook her head and chuckled.

*****

"This really starts to get annoying," Faith slammed the door shut, then stopped and looked at the two men sitting in the lobby of the hotel, hands firmly planted at her hips.

"Sorry, what did you say?"  Slowly Wesley raised his head from the book he was reading. Over the months, he had gotten used to the brunette slayer's outbursts and had learned to ignore them most of the time.

"Ugh," she threw her hands in the air, ready to scream. The fact that Gunn just smirked at her didn't help much either. "I'm angry. No, rewind that, I'm all but furious."

"We realized that," the former watcher replied, looking back down. "But it's not really something new. And if I may suggest, you should try to rein your temper, you're still out on parole. So, if you calm down, you might tell us what happened."

Gunn bit his lip. Wesley usually wasn't like that. Truth to be told, this was new to him, he'd only heard Cordelia's stories about the Brit and he had a hard time to imagine he'd ever been all stiff and impersonal. But with Faith and her outbursts some of the old Wesley seemed to shimmer through.

"What happened?" she echoed sarcastically. "The commandos. That's what happened."

At the mention of the Initiative, the former watcher's head snapped up and the brunette suddenly had all his attention. "You met them, again?"

"Met? I'd really love to meet them," she walked over to the kitchen, got herself a coke, then came back and sat down. The adrenaline was still pumping through her veins and for a moment, she discussed if it was a wise decision to wire herself with more caffeine. She shrugged inwardly, popped the can, and took long gulps. Wiping her mouth she looked at Wesley, "You want to know what happened. Let's see. I was tracking that big, ugly demon you looked up yesterday. I was about to get to it when suddenly those soldier-wannabes appeared out of nowhere and caught it, right under my nose. They zapped it with their stun guns and took it away. After all this tracking and waiting I needed a good amount of violence, you know unloading my energy so to speak, but nothing."

"I see. Did you follow them?" Gunn asked.

"Do I look blonde? Of course, I followed them. Figured you might want to know where they have their headquarters. And guess where," she held out her hands, palm up, and when they didn't answer, she sighed. "It seems I just have to tell as you two don't seem to be up for a quiz show. They have their headquarters in a large building right next to our favorite law firm."

 Part 11

After Cordelia left the room, Angel was anxious to get to sleep. After what he and Buffy had shared, he needed to contact to her again. He was briefly wondering if something like this could get addictive, like a drug, but he really didn't care. He also didn't want to bother himself with the fact that Buffy might not want to come back, not want to wake up. When Cordelia had touched the subject he'd dismissed it instantly, but he was afraid of it. The slayer had been more than reluctant so far and Angel wasn't sure if the memories of a forgotten day could change her mind or the vague possibility of him becoming human. The momentary situation still hadn't changed, which meant that as soon as she was better he'd have to leave her again. And that was the thing that seemed to scare her the most. He couldn't lie to her, he vowed he wouldn't do that. Firstly, it just didn't feel right. He couldn't lie to her about something so important. She had to come back by her own free will. He was also afraid of what would happen if she came back because of his lies and then completely broke down in hearing nothing had been true. No, he told himself firmly. He wouldn't lie, he couldn't. There had already been enough secrets between them and now the only way to go was honesty. He turned when he heard the door open and his eyes widened when he saw Xander peep into the room.

"May I come in for a moment?" he asked hesitantly.

"Sure," Angel invited him, glancing at the clock. "What happened? It's after midnight. How did you manage to pass the nurse?"

Xander shrugged and grinned, "You don't have the slayer as your friend for years without learning one or two things," he said cryptically. "I don't want to bother you for a long time, but we had a very unpleasant visit this afternoon," he told the vampire.

"Visit?" Angel raised a brow. "Yeah," the young man, pulled a chair to the bed and sat down. "Riley came to Anya's and my apartment. I think he's eager to see Buffy. Thought you should know. We... Willow, Tara, Anya and I talked about it, then decided you should know."

"I already did," the vampire replied. "He was with Giles and Dawn in the morning."

"Yeah, he told us. He also said the G-man threw him out the door."

"No, he didn't," Angel smiled slightly. "Spike was very disappointed that he was so polite." Then he chuckled, "If Spike ever finds a way to remove this chip..." he trailed off, not needing to evaluate the point.

Xander grinned, "Oh yeah. I'd really like to see Spike and Riley in a room together." Then he sobered, "I can hardly believe I said that," he shook his head. "Riley was a nice guy, you know. He really seemed to care for Buffy, when he left, I blamed her... and you, for it. It wasn't right. I've thought about it for a while and I think I was angry because Riley was a lot like me."

"What happened to make you so... grown-up? " Angel asked with a smile.

"Who knows," Xander shrugged. "Isn't that supposed to happen when the years go by? Or maybe it's Anya, I don't know. Is it really important?"

"No," the vampire shook his head, "you're almost bearable this way, you know."

The young man grinned, "Wow, I think that was some sort of compliment." "It was," Angel replied. He looked at Xander when his former rival was standing up and headed for the door. "Thanks for telling me." "You're welcome," he quickly glanced at Buffy, then back at the vampire, "I'd say take good care of her, but then that's what you always did, didn't you." With a last smile, he was gone.

*****

Giles rubbed his eyes and looked up from the book when the front door opened and the blonde vampire strolled in. "Still up, Watcher?"

"Yes, I am," the Brit replied, stretching to remove the kinks in his muscles.

"The runt asleep?"

"Dawn went to bed at ten," Giles told him. "Some tea?" he offered. Spike looked as if he'd been insulted, then turned away with a shudder, "I may have been born in England but I never understood what they had for coloured water. I need some real drinks," the vampire said and poured himself some whiskey. Sipping from the glass, he sighed deeply, "Dusted three fledglings," he reported. "They were so stupid they never even saw the stake coming," he shook his head. "Vampires aren't the same anymore these days." Giles had to chuckle at the comment, "Anything else?"

"No," Spike plopped down on the sofa and grabbed the remote control. Switching on the television he asked, "News about fishboy?"

"He went to see Xander this afternoon."

"I told the poof about him," the vampire said casually while flipping through the channels.

Giles put the glasses from his nose and shot the blonde a sharp glance, "I thought we agreed not to tell him."

Spike shrugged, "I never agreed. And I think you're wrong. My bloody grand-sire needs to know about it. Not the best move if the ex turns up at the hospital as a surprise."

"Why, Spike," the watcher's mouth turned up to a smile, "it almost sounds as if you're concerned about a member of your ... family."

The vampire grumbled something unintelligible, then said, "The runt would have my head. Now, shut up. I need to see this," he pointed the remote control towards the screen where they started a series about the great horror crimes of our times.

Giles leaned back in his chair and sipped at his tea. Who would've thought, a vampire developing a conscience? Maybe there was a place for wonders in this world.

****

"Angel," the voice was faint and almost shy, but he was so glad to hear it. He whirled around and saw her standing in the shadow of a large tree. "Buffy," he smiled at her. "I was afraid you wouldn't come."

"I almost didn't," she admitted, casting her eyes down. "I feel so bad about what you showed me."

"Don't," he stepped towards her, but she held up a hand preventing him from coming any closer. "Buffy," he said quietly. "I didn't want to make you sad. I wanted to show you what we might have to look forward to. If you decide this life is worth living after all." "You gave up your chance to live. For me," she whispered and he could see a single tear running down her cheek. "I was angry too. You did this without asking me first, but I can understand. They didn't really give you a choice. There wasn't time to talk to me."

"No there wasn't," he agreed. "And if you feel better, there isn't a day I wondered if this was the right decision. But it's done and I can't take it back."

"I know," she nodded and finally looked at him. "And it's not the main reason I feel bad. I said that I thought you had a wonderful life, but now I know that's not true. And I'm sure there's a lot more." She gazed at him for a long time, before she added, "Am I right?"

"You are," he admitted. "It's been difficult, although Cordy, Wesley and Gunn have been a great help. But there were some things..." he shook his head, ridding himself from the pictures of Darla that involuntarily danced before his eyes. "Anyway. We're warriors, Buffy. Fighters. We can't just give up when things get rough. We have to go on, even if it seems fruitless, even if we're lonely and tired and don't see any reason. If we give up, they've already won."

"But maybe I don't care anymore," she replied quickly and he realized she'd given the subject a lot of thought.

"You care," he said firmly. "I know you Buffy. We might have been apart, but you were always a fighter. You were still fighting when I tried to end the fight."

"You were vulnerable then. Just returned from hell," she reminded him, although she knew she didn't need to. None of them would ever forget that Christmas morning. "And the First Evil thought you were an easy target."

"But they didn't count on you," he replied with a smile. "You saved my life that night." "No," she shook her head. "They did. The Powers or whatever they call themselves. They let it snow. I don't know if you would've listened to me otherwise. They found you worth saving after all. But you were hurting too much to notice how precious you are."

"Oh Buffy," he reached out and took her hand and was glad she didn't pull back. "You were the only one who ever thought of me as precious. They just saved me because they needed a warrior. And who is easier to manipulate than an ensouled vampire with a guilt-trip as big as the whole country."

She chuckled slightly at his comment, "You have changed a lot," she remarked. "You can even joke about yourself. I like it."

"Thanks," he smiled at her. "But now I'm on my own here. Life is very empty without you in it," he said quietly, changing the subject, needing to get back to the pressing matter. He could almost see her withdraw from him even though her hand was still in his, "I can't," she frowned. "It's... It's too early. I'm not ready. I'm scared Angel. This loneliness... It's killing me. Not visibly, but inside I'm dying. Each day a little bit more. So much of the Buffy you knew has disappeared already. You say I'm a fighter, but you're wrong. I might have been one. When you were there to catch me, to listen to me. But now..." she shook her head. "I have changed a lot too. And you won't like it."

"I don't believe you," Angel pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed it. "You had a hard time. The whole thing with Dawn, you mom's illness, then you finding her dead body and Riley..." he trailed off, not willing to even discuss the commando. "It was a lot, Buffy. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are still the same wonderful person I fell in love with. I can see it in your eyes, my love," he said gently and pulled her closer.

"Angel, I can't," she whispered but went willingly into his arms. "I can't do this, I can't just live on a vague hope that someday we might be together. I'm not as strong as you think."

"Not even for me?" he asked and put a finger under her chin, to make her look into his eyes. "Can't you do it for me?"

"I don't know," she said hesitantly. "I have to think about this. It's too early."

"Take as much time as you need," he smiled. "May I have a kiss?" Now she smiled as well, "You may."

Their lips met for a sweet, gentle kiss. It wasn't as desperate as the kiss they'd shared not so long ago in the cemetery beside her mother's grave. It was just a nice kiss, like two lovers who were about to part on a doorstep, would share. They smiled into each others eyes when their lips parted. "You'll be back tomorrow?" she asked.

"I will," he promised. "And you'll be thinking about this?" he wanted to know.

"I will. I love you, Angel," she said when she let go of him and stepped back into the shadows. "No matter what happens. Don't forget that."

"I love you too," he replied, but she was already gone.

Go to Part 12