Disclaimer: nope, still not mine; the title is a song by the great Tina Turner, so it's not mine too
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: B/A
Category: Angst, Romance
Spoilers: the whole B/A-cannon; the previous stories in the series called "Without You", "One in a Million" and "You are the One".
Summary: talk about surprises
Timeline: a week after "You are the One"Dedication: to Kate in Australia, she knows why! Thanks, hun.
Buffy's POV (again)
I cannot remember ever having been so nervous before. It doesn't happen each day that a man everyone believes to be dead will come to your home.
I didn't tell anyone about Angel - or Josh - I just couldn't bring myself to. I know Willow is understanding, but I'm not so sure about her reaction if I'd just told her that I've met Angel. So I didn't tell her. I told none of them.
He came regularely the last week, always bringing his step-son, we talked, one afternoon we even had a coffee together. I'm sure by now that he doesn't remember a single thing.
Why?
That is the question I've been asking myself over and over again, but couldn't find an answer. I will ask Giles and everyone but not before they've seen them in flesh and blood and won't call me nuts.
We talked a lot, he and I, about my life, his life. I told him I had a daughter and that her father was dead. Then last night he asked if I would be interested to have dinner with him and I answered that he could come to a party we're having tonight. He said yes.
I don't know if it was right not to tell him that the others might pale at his sight, but what could I've said. Surely 'hey the others might faint because you came back from the dead' won't do. He'd probably run as fast as possible. So that was out of question. But then he already knows he looks like someone I once knew.
And then I told Willow I would bring a date to the party.
Huh?
Her face wore the most comical expression I've ever seen. She needed about an hour to progress the news and then she couldn't stop babbling, she called all of our friends telling them Buffy would bring a date. And all the time she looked at me as if I've just jumped out of the birthday cake.
In the end I was so annyoed I refused to look at her. What's the big deal, Buffy has a date? I don't have warts, I'm quite attractive, young ... well, but I also haven't dated for years, use to dream about dead - presumed dead - persons more specifically one presumed dead person. So maybe she has a reason to look at me like that. As if she wants to smack herself to be sure my words were real.
At six the first of our friends arrive. Xander and Aya are early. Did I mention they're still together? No? They are the weirdest couple on the planet. Xander grins at me and kisses my cheek which gets him a frown from his girlfriend. He wriggles his eyebrows at me and whispers, "I hear there's some new guy in your life. Good for you. It's about time." If he only knew!
I told Angel - Josh - he could bring Andrew and he said he would. So now that all my friends are here we're just waiting for them. After an hour is passed I catch Giles looking at me with that odd expression that says 'poor demented Buffy'. "Hey, he said he'd come," I almost shout and I see them all flinch. Well, almost all. Willow just smiles and nods assuringly.
*
Finally the doorbell rings. I almost run to the door and have to catch my breath when I see him standing there. "Hi," I smile shily.
"Hi," he smiles back. "I'm sorry, I'm late but Andrew was being difficult and so I left him with a neighbour. They have a son around his age and those two are thick as thieves."
"Oh," I nod and motion for him to come in. "I'm glad you could come at all." I hear whispering from the living-room and lean towards him lowering my voice, "Just one thing. My friends are okay, but they can be pretty weird sometimes. So if they stare or so..."
He grins, "Don't worry, I obviously remind you of someone you once knew." Something - some sad expression - flickers through his eyes but it's gone quickly, "So I'm just going to smile."
"Alright," I nod again and lead him towards the living-room. "Everybody," I say when I enter, "this is a friend of mine. Josh Jones."
They all turn around and I have to bite my lower lip when their eyes finally fall on the man behind me. Willow's and Oz's eyes widen, Giles looks as if he's swallowed something unpleasant, Cordelia gasps and grabs Gunn's arm, who just stares. Xander on the other hand sits down, shaking his head. Only Anya - as usual - looks undisturbed.
Angel leans down and whispers in my ear, "Maybe you should've prepared them."
"Believe me," I whisper back. "They wouldn't have listened. It's better they see you in flesh." I produce my best smile and introduce them, "Josh, these are my friends. Cordelia and Gunn, Xander and Anya, Willow and Oz and Rupert Giles, he is some sort of ... well ... kinda replacement-dad."
"Hello together," Angel replies. "Buffy already told me that I have some similarity with someone you all knew. But I assure you, I never met someone of you before."
Willow surprisingly is the first to snap out of her daze and extends her hand, "Hi, Josh. Nice to meet you. We're not always that strange," she assures him with a smile. "It's just ... it's unbelievable." While Angel exchanges hand-shakes with the others she leans towards me, "Buffy," she hisses in my ear, "what the hell is going on?" "I don't know," I reply. "He just appeared at the center last week. He doesn't remember anything. He says his name is Josh Jones and he swears he never suffered from a case of amnesia."
"But it is Angel," she insists.
"I know," I nod. "I know," I repeat.
"Why didn't you tell me?," she wants to know.
"Would you've believed me?"
"I ...," she begins to protest but then shruggs and smiles a bit sheepishly, "no, probably not. But how is this possible?"
"I don't know. All I know is that it's him and whatever his name is, he came back to me. That's all that counts." I don't even try to hide the smug look in my eyes. Now they all know. I was never crazy. Now they can all choke on their compassionate, pityful looks they gave me over the years.
"I'm so happy for you," Willow whispers, touching my arm and squeezing it.
"I know," I reply and smile.
*
While the others sit outside in the sand and talk, Angel and I went back to the house. I asked him if he wanted to see Aileen.
So we are standing in the door of her bedroom and my little girl is sleeping soundly. "She's an angel," he says, smiling down at her.
"Yes," I agree. "She's one of the best things that happened in my life."
I almost gasp when I feel his hand touching mine, "I know what you mean," he whispers. I quickly glance at him then pull him out of the room. I don't want Aileen to wake up.
"I'm so glad you came tonight," I tell him, smiling.
"Me too," he says, looking into my eyes. "Did you ever have the feeling you know someone completely although you've only met the person a week ago?," he asks all of a sudden.
"Oh yes," I reply wholeheartedly. He has no idea how true my words are.
Sadness enters his eyes and I look at him quizzically. He smiles, "I know," he begins, letting go of my hand and shoving his hands into his pockets, "the first time we met you told me about someone special in your life. Someone who resembles me. You lost him. And it was hard."
"Yes," I reply still not understanding but sensing his uncertainty. "But that was a long time ago."
"Still," he says, "one doesn't forget the people one has loved. And from all I saw and heard you must have loved him very much."
"Yes," I reply again, still lost.
"Man," he suddenly sighs and shakes his head, laughing slightly, "thit is difficult to say. But what I want you to ... look, I understand that he was important in your life, but I like you. I like you a lot, you've probably noticed that already. He is dead, right? And I don't want you to forget about him, but maybe ... if you give it time and ... me a chance ...," he stops and takes a deep breath, "I would very much like us to try to ... well, I'm not good at that, but I would like to see you again. In private."
I have to smile. He has no idea - he can't have - how happy I feel. "Josh," I look at him and tug at his sleeve so that I can take his hand, that had been burried deep in his pocket. "I would like that too," I whisper, almost overwhelmed by emotion.
"You would?" His honest surprise brings tears to my eyes. He really thinks that man in my past is his silent rival. God, how much I want to tell him the truth, but he would never understand, *could* never understand. He would think I'm crazy.
So I just say, "Oh, yes. I would like that very much."
I can see the light in his eyes at my words and when his lips finally close over mine I pray that this is going to work.
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