Part 4

The precinct hadn't changed very much, Angel noticed the moment he and Spike stepped through the swinging doors, only half an hour after their unexpected meeting with Cordelia at Angel's apartment. She wouldn't meet with them in public she'd told them, and that they should get used to her dropping by like that. Angel groaned at the mere thought. Well, he would have to get used to it. Cordelia was the assistant DA and not some snotty law student anymore, he could tease. Plus she was still Buffy's friend and although she hadn't mentioned their break-up, he'd heard the underlying accusation that if it wasn't for him, Buffy wouldn't have looked at Riley Finn.

It wasn't fair, of course. Riley Finn had never been part of the deal, only later he'd become one. Unexpected and for that so much more painful. Angel hadn't just lost the woman he loved, but to a man who he thought to be his friend, whom he'd told about his feelings towards Buffy, whom he'd trusted and who had betrayed him. So much for friendship, Angel thought, frowning at the name tab on Riley's desk with disgust. Then a sardonic smirk crossed his features. His so-called friend had gotten Buffy, but he had lost her too, after only four short years. What a bummer.

The office rooms were still empty, but for the ever-present Captain Rupert Giles, who was already sitting in his private office, a lamp illuminating his desk, he was reading files, hadn't heard them so far.

"This is really a very... shabby... room," Spike remarked, crossing his arms.

Angel grinned at his comment, "Not that the one in New York was so much better."

"No," the blond sighed, and then nodded towards Giles' office. "That the big boss?"

"Yeah," his friend replied. "We really should say hello." Saying it, he already walked towards the closed door and after knocking he entered.

Giles looked up from the papers he'd been reading, his face breaking into a smile as if seeing a long lost son, "Angel, how good to see you," he stood and extended a hand, shaking the other man's warmly. "And that has to be Mr. Stevens?"

"Yeah, that's me," Spike said, extending his hand as well. "But please, everyone calls me Spike."

"Spike?" Giles raised a brow, but didn't comment it. "It's good you're early. I would like to have a word with you before everyone arrives. Please, close the door."

Grinning Spike sat, looking at the older man speculatively, "Which part of good old England do you come from?"

Giles smiled, "Oxfordshire," he replied, "And you?"

"What do you think? London, of course. No breed's alike."

The Captain's brow rose again, "What brought you over?"

Spike shrugged, and then grinned, "Fell in love, didn't work out, got stuck. As simple as that."

"Or not," Angel said, giving his friend a long, knowing look. Spike's breakup with his girlfriend had been everything but easy. The blond might look like a womanizer, and he was certainly behaving like one too, but deep down he had been deeply hurt by Cathleen's refusal to marry him, and now avoided relationships that could become too serious. His entire flippant attitude, and his open charm was nothing but a shield to prevent himself from being hurt again.

"Yeah, or not," Spike agreed on a released breath, clearly not liking his friend's insight. "Well," his light smile back in place he looked at Giles, "What did you want to talk to us about?"

The Captain looked back and forth between the two men, and crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned back, "I'm not happy with this investigation," he began and when he saw Angel was about to speak he held up a hand, "but of course I understand it's necessary." Releasing a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding, he shook his head, "I still can't believe that one my officers might be playing dirty. God, this makes me feeling so sick. Most of them I know many years, some of them," he focused on Angel, "are like children to me."

"I know," the dark-haired man nodded. This time a long look passed between Angel and Giles, a look Spike didn't quite understand, but he made a mental note to ask his friend later.

Taking a deep breath, the Captain took a file from the table and handed it two the two officers. "Maybe we should start with you reading this," he suggested.

*

"But this is good news." Buffy looked at her redheaded friend when they entered the precinct five minutes later.

"It is," Willow said hesitantly, "It really is, but... not now. You see Oz and I... we always... Buffy?" She stopped when she saw her friend wasn't following her anymore and turned. "What is it?"

Buffy stood very still, her body rigid, her breath shallow, her eyes fixed on Giles' office, where you could see the people sitting there in the light of his desk lamp. Willow followed the blonde's look and froze as well. "Oh Buffy," she sent her girlfriend a compassionate glance, then stepped towards her, "But we already knew he would be here."

"I know," Buffy managed to croak, "But... for the first time it's real. I can't lie to myself anymore and say it's just a bad dream."

"Yeah," the redhead agreed and took the blonde's arm. "Come on, let's get going. The others should be here in a moment and you wouldn't want anyone to find you staring like this, would you?"

"Staring at whom?" came a voice from behind them.

"What do you think?" Willow turned slightly and glared at her childhood friend. It had to be Anya's influence, the redhead decided. Xander's wife was the most tactless person she'd ever met, and somehow it seemed to rub on Xander as well.

"Oh, the ex is back," he said, his voice holding a certain note. "Who's the blond guy?"

"I suppose it's William Stevens."

"Oh, they're here," Drusilla, accompanied by Faith, were entering the precinct as well. The raven-haired woman's face lit up, while her brunette partner wrinkled her nose.

"Well, let the drama unfold, I say," Faith joked and sauntered to her desk, ignoring the newcomers completely. She wasn't the kind of person to participate in mass hysteria. Okay, so it wasn't exactly hysteria, four people staring through a glass window, but still she didn't like that. She would greet Angel later in private.

"Spoil sport," Xander grinned at her retreating back. She snorted over her shoulder, but he could see her shoulders moving with silent laughter.

"Hey," Drusilla put a hand on Willow's shoulder, "the guy with Angel, is that William Stevens?"

"I would think so," the redhead replied, eyeing the black-haired woman very closely. "Why?"

"Oh," Drusilla battered her lashes, then quickly looked to the ground, "No special reason."

"Drusilla?" Willow's voice held a certain warning.

"What?" the other woman asked. "I think he's cute, that's all."

"Cute?" Buffy and Willow asked unison, something similar to panic in their eyes. "Dru, you know, the last time you thought a guy was cute..." Buffy trailed off.

"You always think they're cute," Xander added pointedly.

"Oh, shut up," she said, "How could I know that last guy was a drug dealer? No, I couldn't." It hadn't been her fault, had it? So, okay, she fell in love easily, and out of it, and yeah, it had caused problems, mainly her crying the whole night, calling her friends at four o'clock in the morning, throwing away all her clothes, because they reminded her of her lost love. But, hey, life was short, and where was the fun if no one was falling in love. Maybe, one day she would find the one who'd stick, she thought and couldn't help the bitter feeling that rose inside of her. She suppressed it quickly and tilted her head. "Still, he's cute. He dyes his hair."

"You like guys who dye their hair?" Xander asked disbelievingly. "Don't you think it's a bit ... uh ... unmanly?"

"No, absolutely not," Drusilla replied, "It's fun and-"

"Cute, we know," Willow finished her sentence, making a dismissing gesture with her hand.

The same moment the three men inside the office rose from their chairs and only a second later the door opened and stepped out into the main room. "Ah," Giles smiled at the officers who had arrived by now. "Good, you're here. Most of you will remember Angel, but this gentleman," he pointed at the blond, "is William Stevens who has asked to be called Spike," he added with a grin.

"Ooooh, that's so cute," Drusilla whispered, making the others roll their eyes.

*****

It was strange being in the same room with him again, Buffy thought half an hour later. Not that he was crowding her. Not at all. On the contrary, he was avoiding her. Well, not really avoiding her, but he hadn't talked to her so far. He had been talking to Faith and Kate, had embraced with Drusilla, shaken hands with Xander and the others, but there wasn't one word exchanged with her.

Well, it wasn't really right. He hadn't talked to Riley either. But then, Riley had ignored Angel from the moment he stepped into the precinct, and was glaring at him from time to time. Not that she expected them to shake hands.

Buffy remembered Riley's face when Giles had told them about Angel's return to L.A. and to their precinct. To call it anger would've been too mild. It had been hostility, hatred, and another myriad of negative emotions she'd given up trying to count. It was hard to believe that Riley and Angel had once been best friends, almost as close as brothers. It had changed when Riley had shown an interest in Buffy. She hadn't known it at first, and it had needed two more years for her to figure out why Riley had been interested in her in the first place.

It had been the beginning of the end of their relationship. Jealousy was never a good foundation for a marriage. And Riley had been so eaten up by it. God, she thought, running a hand through her hair and glancing quickly at Angel, who was currently talking to Darla. Darla? Buffy narrowed her eyes, assessing the situation. They *had* been lovers once, so it could be possible that... And that's a very bad thought Buffy, she scolded herself. Don't even go there. It'll just lead into dangerous territory.

"Hey there."

She jerked around and found Spike sitting at the edge of her desk, smiling at her.

"Hey back," she replied and forced a smile on her lips. This was Angel's friend and she would keep up appearances in front of him - even if it killed her. "What do you want?" she asked a little bit too sharp, instantly scolding herself for it. So much for good intentions.

He raised a hand in a gesture of peace, "Maybe I should come back later?" he suggested.

She rolled her eyes, "Sorry, I'm just not at my best today."

"Yeah," he said, looking pointedly at Angel, "I know what you mean. He wasn't in a very good mood either this morning."

One of her eyebrows rose in understanding, "So you... know?"

"I do," he answered, "or rather, I know the facts. That you were together once, that you split and you married another guy who happened to be Angel's friend and partner. But that pretty much sums it up." He gave her a warm smile, "He isn't the kind of guy to run around and brag."

"I see," she smiled tightly, "It was quite messy," she said, busying herself with some files on her desk. "You know each other long?"

"Since the day he came to the big apple," he told her. "He's been my partner ever since." He paused for a moment, then added, "Never had a better one."

"That's... good," she replied without looking at him, but he could still see the frown on her forehead. She was so tense he was afraid she would crack if someone as much as touched her. Spike's separation from Cathleen had been messy too, mostly because he loved her and she - after two years - had discovered she didn't, but he sensed that there was a lot more to Buffy and Angel than he knew.

"And that guy is the one you married," he said casually nodding towards Riley.

She looked up, followed his eyes and nodded, "Not that it's any of your business, but yeah."

He knew a dismissal when he got one. Well, he'd heard enough for now anyway. But of course, being Spike, the guy who always had the last word, he couldn't just leave. So he put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it. Leaning forward he said quietly, "I heard you're divorcing him. Good for you." Then he turned and went back to his desk.

Buffy stifled a gasp and looked after him. Then her eyes wandered to Angel who was now sitting at his desk, reading a file Giles had given him, and was still ignoring her. It was hard to believe that a person like Angel, who had always been so quiet and earnest, could work with someone like Spike, but obviously they had - for a long time. Much longer than the time she and Angel had spent as a couple. And deep inside Buffy felt herself envying Spike for that.

*

She hadn't changed much. Physically. Angel didn't look up from the page he'd been reading for the last ten minutes. He hadn't understood one word. He didn't need to look at Buffy. He'd seen her before and remembered every detail. She was still incredibly beautiful. Her blond hair longer than it had been four years ago, her figure more mature, she had blossomed into a grown-up woman, a real knockout.

But he had also seen the sadness in her eyes. They were still those hazel-eyes that had haunted his dreams for so long, yet they were different, older, but it wasn't just caused by age. And Angel didn't like seeing it, he found himself wishing they hadn't changed at all. That they still shone with that innocent laughter that had drawn him to her, wishing to keep it there, to protect her from the rough reality called life.

Well, she'd chosen Riley for the job and regarding her eyes he'd done a pretty lousy job. Why did he care anyway? he asked himself. They hadn't seen each other for over four years. She wasn't his damned business anymore. Why would sad eyes threaten to make him throw all his resolutions out of the window? He had sworn to himself, not to fall for her again, not to care. But somehow that sadness was almost more attractive than her youthful innocence. God, he was a fool.

Angel put the file down and looked up, catching her in a lively conversation with Spike. They were laughing, Spike leaning forward, his killer smile firmly in place. Angel could feel the irritation stirring in him. He didn't like seeing Spike with her, like two old buddies - or even more.

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to stay calm. This was Spike. His friend and partner. Spike would never... And damn he was doing it again.  Trusting a friend and partner. But Spike wasn't Riley and Angel certainly wasn't the gullible idiot anymore he'd been once. If nothing else, Riley's betrayal had taught him that even long time friends could be false and that a smile didn't have to mean anything. Angel had become a better detective for this, even if he hadn't become a happier man.

He saw Spike squeeze Buffy's shoulder, then leave her desk. He quickly looked back down onto the file. He could feel her staring at him. What had Spike said to her? His last comment had left her shaken and stunned.

His blond partner came over and sat down on his chair, whistling slightly. When Angel looked up, Spike grinned at him.

"What?" the dark-haired man asked.

"Oh, nothing," his friend replied, his face all innocence. "She's nice," he said and his grin widened when he saw Angel narrow his eyes. "Hey, I mean that in a strictly friendly way. I'm not interested in her that way. And speaking about interest," he tilted his head, his eyes wandering to a certain dark-haired woman who was talking to a blond. Then his gaze came back to rest on his partner, "Didn't you say you were once Miss Peterson's senior officer?" When he saw Angel raise his brows, he continued, "I'd really like to know more about her."

Part 5

"Tell me again what we're doing here," Spike whined as he got out of the car Angel had parked in front of a nightclub called "The Splash".

"Investigating," the dark-haired man replied coming around the car and to stand beside his friend.

Spike's eyebrows rose, "Investigating?" he echoed.

"Yeah. The Splash is *the* bar all the officers attend after duty hours. No better place to meet everyone. Everyone is here. Or they were, but according to Darla they still are."

"Ah, Darla."

Angel gave his friend an irritated look, "What does that mean?"

"What?"

"The 'Ah, Darla' in that tone of voice," the dark-haired man clarified.

"Nothing," Spike shrugged, walking towards the entrance of the club. "She's a hottie."

"Yeah, she is, and she's also old news. We were over long before I met Buffy. Now we don't even qualify as friends any more. But we know each other and respect each other as police officers." At least that was what Angel hoped.

"If you say so."

Angel stopped abruptly, holding the other man's arm, "Would you care to explain?" there was a definite edge in his voice. He didn't like what his friend was implying.

"Hey, no need to get cranky," Spike raised his hands in a gesture of surrender, "I know that there's nothing going on, from your side at least. But I also have eyes and she's far from over you."

Angel looked as his friend for a long moment, then frowned, "You have to be imagining things," he murmured. No way, could Darla still be interested in him. No way! He knew his former lover only too well, and if Spike was right, it would only complicate things.

"No, I'm not. I saw the way she was watching you this morning. Sure, she tries to hide it, but believe me, I see it if someone is interested."

Angel's frown deepened. Spike sounded sure and he had enough experience in that field to judge people, women in particular. "Oh shit," he muttered and ran a hand through his hair. "Just what I need." There was no way he wanted to get involved with Darla again. He met her on his first day at the Police Academy. She'd been an instructor and older than him. They had fallen in lust quickly and strongly and it had lasted for about three months. Then their ways had parted for a while, with her going back to active duty. They had met again when Angel had left the Academy, but none of them had been interested to repeat their former involvement, or so Angel had thought - until now.

Angel couldn't shake off the uneasy feeling of Spike's revelation all evening. Spike wasn't usually wrong about these things. If Darla was still, or again, interested in him, it could mean trouble. The reason for their split-up had been her growing possessiveness of him. First Angel had felt as if she was watching him, and then there had been the incident with one of his classmates at the Academy.

They had been talking over a cup of coffee when Darla had entered the cafeteria and raged like a madwoman at him, implying he was betraying her. Angel was more than irritated by her behavior but she'd apologized and for two weeks everything had been fine. Then, Angel had found a bug in his phone and a little bit of investigation had revealed that Darla had planted it to check up on him. After that he had refused to see her again. She'd pleaded, whined, begged, and screamed but he didn't change his mind and a week later she'd been called back to active duty. Still, Angel wasn't able to shake off an uneasy feeling whenever he was around her. Although, as he'd told Spike, he respected her as a colleague.

"Hey, good to see you."

His head jerked around and a smile spread over his face when he saw who had been talking to him. "Faith," he said, hugging her close.

"It's good to see you," she grinned and pulled back. "It's been freaking long since you left. I could hardly believe it when old Giles told us you'd be back. This town just wasn't the same without you."

"Really?" he grinned as well, noticing from the corner of his eye that Spike was just approaching Dru, who was sitting at the bar sipping her campari soda. He forced his mind back on Faith. Dru was a grown up woman, and it wasn't his job to look out for her anymore. After all she'd been fine the past four years without him. "I never thought you the type to settle on one man."

She laughed out loud, a throaty, generous sound, "Yeah, well, you know me. The world is full of men, why settle on one?" Her eyes sparkled with mischief and she nodded towards the bar, "Seems your partner has it for Dru. They'd make a nice couple, don't you think."

"Maybe," Angel replied evasively, then again forcing his mind away from the couple at the bar, nodded at the table, "You don't mind if I join you?"

"No," she shook her head, and gestured invitingly at a vacant seat, "On the contrary. Sit down."

After the waitress had taken their orders, Faith leaned back and crossed her arms, "Now, tell me, what have you done on the other side of the country. Solved a lot of cases? Broke a lot of women's hearts?"

"Yes and no," he replied, relaxing a little bit. He and Faith had never been anything but friends. He felt comfortable in her presence, and liked her from the start. "New York is really different from L.A."

"Yeah, I know," she said, and smiled at the waitress who was serving their drinks. "We went to New York quite often when I was still living in Boston."

"Yes, I remember," Angel sipped from his soda. He'd never been much for alcohol. A glass of wine here and there and a beer some times, but he had never cared for whisky or any harder drinks. "What about you? Lots of exciting men in your life?"

She raised a brow at him, "You were always good at evading questions," she remarked, "but I let it go - for now. The men in my life," she sighed dramatically, "let's put it that way. Mr. Perfect never came along."

"I see," he couldn't help the grin that spread across his face, "So you content yourself with investigation."

Her answering grin was matching his, "If you want to put it that way. Yeah. And it's rather time-consuming, you know. Lots of interesting subjects around." She wiggled her brows and winked.He laughed good-naturedly, "Oh, it would never work with us, Faith. I'd never be able to keep up with your pace. I like my life quiet and steady. I like to spend evenings at home, watching a baseball game. You're too active for my taste."

Another dramatic sigh came from her, "Oh well," she shrugged, "That means I'll just have to continue looking around." Her eyes fell on someone entering the club, and her expression sobered instantly, "Well, at least," she said, sipping from her drink, "I've been over the worst of them already. It can only improve after that."

Angel looked at her quizzically, and then turned following her eyes. It had been four years, and there had been times in New York when Angel had thought he could forget all the things that had happened before he'd left L.A., but now he was sure it was far from over. His body tensed the moment he discovered the subject of her words.

Riley sauntered into the bar, a curvy blond on his arm, her eyes adoringly on his face. She looked young and was obviously in love with the older detective. "Seems he's favoring kindergarteners these days," Faith said dryly, taking another sip from her drink. "No wonder. A grown up woman would figure him out in a flash. There's a nice body, I have to give him that much, but it's not worth it."

Angel turned back to face the dark-haired woman, the hair in his neck standing up straight. He would never be able to relax in Riley's presence. Too much had happened between the two men. To think that they had once joked about girls, shared the first forbidden drive in his father's car, joined the police force together. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Ever seen the girl before?" he asked.

"No," Faith shook her head, "he changes them so fast, it's impossible to keep up with it. I think even babies like her find out quickly what sort of guy he is. Considering everything, it took Buffy a long time to realize what was going on." Catching what she'd just said, she reached out to cover his hand with hers, an apologetic smile on her face, "Sorry. I just put my foot in my mouth. This should be a relaxing evening, didn't want to remind you."

As if he needed a reminder. Buffy had never been out of his thoughts, not one day had passed in New York, that her image hadn't entered his mind. Her laughing eyes that looked so sad now, sometimes he even wondered if he could feel the silky strands of her hair with his fingers. "It's okay," he managed to say, then took a large gulp from his soda.

"Uh oh, I'm getting bad vibes, here," Dru looked from Angel to Faith and back when she sat down at their table. "Are we interrupting something?" She gazed at Spike, who was sitting down beside her.

"It looks as if we just came in time," he replied grinning, "my friend Angel here tends to get too serious sometimes. I usually have to save him then."

"It's just the company in here," Faith said, nodding towards Riley and the blond girl, "Doesn't help to improve the evening."

"Ah," Drusilla nodded understandingly. "Don't let him spoil the evening, he's nothing but an idiot. Never understood what you found in him," she was looking at Faith now who groaned.

"Sure, remind me of that. Now *you're* spoiling the evening. If I could cut out a part of my life, it would be definitely the part where I was too blind to see beyond a well-trained body. But, hey, look at the bright side, at least I'm over it, and unlike others I never married..." she trailed off, instantly wanting to kick herself for the slip when she saw Angel's face that had just been relaxing tense again.

Spike had seen it too, and he reached out, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder, "Don't let him get to you, man. He isn't worth it."

"My words exactly," Faith agreed, giving Angel another apologetic look. She was really doing it tonight. Now she only had to find a dog and kick it to make her performance perfect, she thought. "As Dru said, he's an idiot. Not worth another thought."

"Yeah," Angel released a breath. "I really thought I was over it."

"You never get over these things," Spike said, understanding in his eyes. "They stay with you. All you can do is, live with them, learn and avoid the same faults in the future. But if it's any help. I really dislike the guy. There's something about him..." he trailed off, exchanging a look with his friend. There was a certain expression in their eyes. They were looking for a dirty cop, and it could be Riley Finn.

The problem was Angel wasn't sure if he'd really like it. Sure, lots of things had happened between Riley and he, Buffy being the most important of them, but there were those good times as well. Maybe it had all been a lie where Riley was concerned, but that didn't mean, you could just forget them and pretend they never had happened. There were all the evenings they had been studying together, the first night they'd gotten drunk at college. No, Angel wasn't sure if he liked the idea of Riley being the man they were looking for.

Forcing himself back to the present, he turned towards Dru, "You've grown up," he said, smiling, "Heard a lot of good things about you, officer."

"Oh," she raised a brow, "well, I had a good teacher," she said, smiling as well.

"Glad to hear that," Angel commanded his body to relax and to ignore the man still standing only a few feet behind him at the bar, "heard you received a commendation for rescuing a kid."

She blushed slightly at that, "Yes, I did. But it really wasn't anything big. I just did my job."

"She did a lot more than that," Faith disagreed, "You should have seen her, Angel, she wouldn't give up when everyone else thought the boy was dead. And she found him. It was great."

"Don't exaggerate," Drusilla said a bit uncomfortable with all the attention, "I'm just glad we found him and that he's now back with his parents. He was lost at the fair," she explained the two men who didn't know all the details. "The fair was near a river and they all thought he'd fallen into it and drowned, but I couldn't shake off the feeling that he was still alive. Finally we found him hanging on the roller coaster. He'd climbed up and couldn't get down again."

"So Dru just climbed after him and brought him back down," Faith added, giving her partner a sideways glance. "She really earned her commendation for the bold climbing. I think I'd have fainted up there."

"So you're not just beautiful and bright but brave too," Spike looked at Dru with admiration in his eyes, "What a combination."

She blushed again, this time delicately, "Stop that," she whispered. "I'm not worth all this. I'm just a woman who did her job. And I'm not beautiful."

"Leave that up to me," Spike replied with a wink, enjoying the fact that her blush deepened. God, but she was lovely. He felt the same stirring in his groin he'd already felt this morning, but now it was accompanied by something he had experienced once, and he wasn't sure he liked to feel it again.

Angel's voice was casual when he suddenly asked, "Buffy never comes here?"

"No, not anymore," Faith told him, "With their divorce going on and Riley hanging around all the time," she shrugged, "She doesn't really care to see him after work. Besides, I think she went to Willow and Oz's tonight with Xander, his wife and probably Cordelia."

"Oh?" Angel raised a brow.

"Yeah. They're celebrating. Willow's just discovered that she's going to have a baby."

*****

"I'm so glad you all could come tonight," Willow exclaimed, her gaze wandering over the little crowd assembled in her and Oz's living room.

"We're glad to be here," Cordelia assured her with a smile. "It's what friends are for. To share the good and the bad times. And this is definitely a very good one. Do you know already what it's going to be?"

"No," Oz shook his head, "It's too early to say it. But we aren't sure if we even want to know."

"Why not?" Anya looked at the expecting parents with puzzlement, "But if you don't know what you're getting how will you get the people buy the right things? I mean you don't want your little boy grow up in pink, do you?" She thought about her own baby that was being taken care of tonight by her mother-in-law and shuddered. No way she wanted to imagine him in pink.

Willow raised a brow at Xander's wife, "I really think that's old-fashioned. Like giving only dolls to girls or never one to a boy. Whatever the child is, it will have blue *and* pink clothes and it will get to play with whatever she or he prefers."

"Hear, hear," Doyle grinned at the redhead and raised his glass, "But congratulations, whatever it is. Maybe it'll get a playing pal soon," he added and wiggled his brows at his fiancée.

"Oh, no, buddy," Cordelia shook her head, "I just got the new job. No way I'm giving it up for a baby. I agreed to marry you, but a child will definitely have to wait for a while."

Doyle looked at her, and then shrugged.

"Trouble in paradise already?" Xander inquired, raising a brow.

"Xander," Anya elbowed him in his ribs, making him yelp.

Willow watched her friends and smiled to herself when her eyes fell on Buffy who had been very quiet the whole evening. She was sitting in the back, sipping at her coke, not really following the conversation going on. The redhead exchanged a short glance with her husband who nodded at her and then left the table to join her best friend for a moment.

"Heavy thoughts?" she asked approaching the blond.

Buffy's head snapped up, her startled eyes on the other woman, and then she forced a smile on her lips, "No. Sorry, I haven't been real fun to have around tonight. I shouldn't have come."

"Nonsense," Willow said firmly and sat down beside her. "We love to have you around. What's the matter? Talk to me," she urged gently.

"It's really not important."

"But it is if it makes you sit quietly in the dark, zoning out everything and everyone."

The blond ran a hand through her hair, and put her glass down, "Am I that readable?" she asked, shaking her head, a sad laugh escaping her mouth. "It's just hard," she admitted finally, "you're all so happy. Such wonderful couples. Anya and Xander are on cloud number nine with their little boy, Cordy and Doyle seem to be perfect for each other, as hard to believe as it is," she had to laugh at that for a moment, "and now you and Oz... It just shows me what a failure my life has been."

"Oh Buffy," Willow reached out, putting a hand over her friend's, "that sounds as if it's over already. You're just 30. Your life has barely begun."

"Oh yeah?" the blonde's voice was full of sarcasm, "That's not how I'm seeing it. I screwed up royally, Willow. I pushed Angel away, and then I fell on Riley. What would you call it? Good judgment?"

"No," the redhead said calmly, but firmly, "No, I wouldn't. But that doesn't mean your life is over. You need to put it behind you and move on. It could be worse you know. You could have been one of the women who wake up at 50 only to realize the things you know at 30."

Slowly a smile spread over the blonde's features, "You really know how to make me feel better, Willow. I'm sorry," she said, "sometimes self-pity overwhelms me."

"And rightfully so," the redhead assured her. "You had some very rough times. But now you're straightening things out. You'll be divorced soon. You're still young and have a lot to look forward too." She quickly looked down then back at Buffy, "And maybe there's even a chance to get things back together with Angel?"

"Angel?" Buffy considered it for a moment, and then remorsefully shook her head, "No, I don't think so Willow. Besides. It's been over four years. I hurt him. A lot. Why on earth would he still have feelings for me? No," she shook her head again, "whatever has been between us once. It's over. And we both know it. It ended four years ago, and it's the best for everyone if it stays that way. None of us wants to repeat past mistakes." She took her glass and sipped, missing the doubtful expression on Willow's face.

Go to Part 6