Part 11

Friday, August 25th, 7.00 a.m., Los Angeles

Buffy leaned against the counter in her kitchen and looked out of the window onto the street beneath her. Los Angeles was already busy, even this early. It was Friday and life started early because people wanted to leave their offices as early as possible to start their weekend.

Weekend.

It once meant a time to relax, to enjoy spending time with the people she loved, for family and friends. But not anymore. First of all there wasn't any family left and her friends... Well, they were all married now or going to be soon and for quite some time the feeling of loneliness had increased on weekends.

Maybe it was because she'd finally hit the big 3-0. Or maybe it was just that she couldn't remember the last time she had had fun. No, that wasn't fair. She had fun, sometimes, when one of her friends choose to save her from herself and dragged her out of her apartment. She would laugh and joke with them, but deep inside the emptiness wouldn't leave.Empty. Yes, she felt empty and exhausted. Not physically. Physically she was perfectly fit, she was working out three times a week, ran every other day for about an hour after work. It came in handy if you had to chase down a suspect. Last week she'd outrun a thief and she was extremely satisfied that she hadn't even broken a sweat.

Yes, physically she was fine. Her mental state was an entirely different matter. But maybe she earned it. Earned it for wasting her one chance for happiness, for love. Maybe if she'd been stronger, not been so devastated by her brother's death, she wouldn't have listened to Riley. God, "if" was the worst word in the world.

Willow believed there was a chance she and Angel could get together again. But she had no idea, not the slightest idea what her best friend had done. Yes, Buffy had told the redhead that she'd sent Angel away, but she didn't know the hurtful words Buffy had said. The blond, on the other hand, remembered them all to well...

##

Buffy frowned at the face in the mirror. It was a pretty face, flawless almost, a woman, she even smiled but her eyes were strangely dead. They were hazel like hers. Over all, the woman looked familiar, but somehow Buffy wasn't able to find herself in the reflection.

In a few minutes she would marry Riley Finn. She would be Riley Finn's wife. She would make a vow to love him, to honor him, to be with him until they both died. It was exactly what she wanted. She loved Riley. Didn't she?

God, her mind was so muddled, nothing made sense anymore. Nothing was real since that terrible day that had cost the life of the only relative she had left. Just yesterday Riley had kissed her and told her that in only 24 hours she would have a brand new family. His family. Their family, he'd said. It sounded so good, then why didn't it warm her heart? Why didn't it warm her soul?

She was interrupted in her thoughts when the door opened. She knew it wasn't Cordelia because she had refused to come at all. But she thought it was Willow coming to check on her for the last time, so she didn't look up and inserted her second earring instead. "I'll be ready soon, Will, don't worry," she said.

"I'd rather you not be ready at all or at least for another man."

Buffy wasn't sure if her heart had stopped beating that very moment, but she was having a problem breathing.

His voice was very soft, when he added, "You look beautiful, Buffy. Like I always imagined you would look on your wedding day." He didn't come any closer, just stayed near the door, looking at her, watching her.

"Angel," she managed to acknowledge his presence. He was the last person she expected to be here, but maybe she should have. He'd tried to talk to her again and again during the past couple weeks. She'd refused to see him. And now here he was. She didn't want to see him, didn't want to talk to him. She could only think about an evening six weeks ago when all her hopes had been shattered with a single shot that went through her brother's heart. "What a surprise," she said finally, her voice sounding strange, even to herself. It wasn't the warm sound she was used to; it was cold, lifeless, without emotion.

"Is it really?" he asked, taking one tentative step towards her. "A surprise? You really thought I would just stand by and let you marry him? Watch you make the biggest mistake of your life? You don't know me very well then."

"Yes, that's true," she replied, standing up slowly. "I don't know you very well."

"But you do," he said, taking another step, "Don't you remember, Buffy?" he asked, "Did you forget all the time we spent together? All the times, we loved each other, touched-"

"That isn't important anymore," she cut him off, turning and staring at him through cold eyes. "Whatever was between us, died with Mike. It died the day you decided to end his life."

It was almost a physical blow and Angel actually had to draw a sharp breath, fighting against a sudden tightness in his throat, a nausea that threatened to consume him. She could see how hard he fought for control and it gave her some sort of twisted pleasure. She wanted him to suffer. The way she suffered. He could burn in hell for all she cared, Mike was dead and he wasn't.

"Not important, huh?" he said, his voice hoarse. "Well, it is for me. I love you Buffy. You really think I would harm a person you love? You really think I would kill Mike? I wouldn't have been able to harm him. He was your brother and I liked him. He was fun. But even if I hadn't, the fact that you loved him..." he ran a hand through his hair, "Do you really think I'm capable of killing someone? Anyone?"

She made a sound that was somewhere between a snort and a laugh, "As I already told you. I don't know you. I have no idea what you're capable of. And as far as I'm concerned you can just leave. I don't want to listen to you any longer. In a few minutes I'm going to be married."

That was another blow. He flinched, and only six weeks ago the pain in his eyes would've made her weep. Not anymore though. There was no pity left inside of her, there was nothing inside of her. She was a walking shell. Going through life on autopilot.

"To the wrong man," he replied, managing to stay calm. She could see how hard he was struggling. "You're not in love with Riley. You love me."

He had no idea, she thought. Love? What was love? A sudden panic took hold of her for a moment. In a few minutes she was going to marry. A man she was supposed to love. Did she really love him? Did she even care? Fortunately she had herself under control again, "Oh really?" she raised a cool eyebrow at him. "And you're the expert, aren't you? Well, let me tell you that I *am* in love with Riley. Actually Riley just showed me real love."

This time he had to blink. The moistness in his eyes came instantly and without warning. "Real love?" he echoed incredulously.

"Oh yes. Love. He loves me. With all his heart," she said without mercy, enjoying the tightening of his lips, the way his jaw locked. Then she took aim for her next blow, wanting to hurt him even more, "And you know. I thought I knew all about making love. I was wrong. Riley was able to show me another dimension."

He turned away. Swiftly. Violently. His fists were clenching and unclenching at his sides. Six weeks ago, she would've reached out and apologized for hurting him, for being so cruel. But the Buffy of six weeks ago was dead, died when she read that the weapon that killed her brother had been Angel's. The new Buffy however still wasn't satisfied, "And I love him. I love him in a way I didn't think I was able to love. Everything before it pales in comparison."

He didn't turn to her again. He just walked to the door, opened it, and paused for a moment. "Good luck then," he whispered, his voice broken, his shoulders slumped in defeat. Then he walked out of the room and out of her life.##

That had been four years ago, but to Buffy it felt as if it happened yesterday. Tears were running down her cheeks and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. God, she wanted to run to him and plead for forgiveness, tell him that she hadn't meant a single word. That she didn't blame him and that she loved him and...

Her breath caught in her throat and she closed her eyes for a moment against the revelation the memory had brought with it. There was no way she could lie to herself any longer. She loved Angel Reardon. Still loved him. It also implied that she'd never stopped loving him. That was the simple truth. Riley had sensed it, although Buffy had tried so hard to keep it locked up in some safe place, not visible to anyone.

At first her marriage with Riley had been okay. They had laughed together, spent time together. She had genuinely liked him even if she couldn't return the love he told her he felt. But after a while it had changed. Buffy wasn't quite sure how it had happened. Riley had changed or maybe she'd just woken up and finally realized she was living a lie.

And still she had tried. You just didn't throw a marriage away, even if it was a mistake. So she had tried, again and again. Had even overlooked Riley's infidelity at first. She even believed it was her fault because she couldn't return his love. Then Cordelia had visited her one evening, another evening when Riley had called and told her he was working late on a difficult case. A lie of course.

Cordelia had told her what she thought of her so-called marriage and of Riley and the mess her life had become. And after a week of thinking about it, Buffy had come to the conclusion that her friend was right. So the next Sunday she'd confronted Riley, hoped against reason that they would find a solution, to save their friendship if not their marriage.

And he went berserk. She'd never seen him like this. He just lost it. First he shouted, taunted and accused her of not being able to love him. When she hadn't been able to deny it, he hit her. Once, twice and then again. In the end he'd just looked at her and the way she was lying on the ground, one eye already swelling, blood trickling from her lip. "You're a whore," he'd said. "Nothing but a cheap whore. I know lots of them, you know, but you're the worst. Nobody would ever pay for your service. You're a pathetic lover. Frankly, I don't know what Angel ever saw in you."

"I'm going to file for a divorce," she'd told him, wiping the blood from her lips but not standing up. "Tomorrow I'm going to contact a lawyer."

He just shrugged and took his coat from the hook, "Do as you please," then he stopped and turned to her, his smile cruel, "Oh and while you're at it. I had lots of contacts with women during the last two years. You understand," he winked, making it very clear what sort of contact he was talking about, "Maybe you should see a doctor too. About infective diseases, you know." With another wink he was gone and Buffy had struggled to get on her feet, then ran to the bathroom where she emptied her stomach, feeling sick in a way she'd never felt before.

God, she'd been such a fool, she thought, her sightless eyes still directed towards the street. It could have been so different if she hadn't freaked after Mike's death, if she'd been able to believe Angel's words at the inquiry, or Drusilla and Faith who had sworn he hadn't used his weapon that evening. But it wasn't any different and now she was paying the price for her stupidity. Had been paying it for four years.

A sob tore from her throat and she wrapped her arms around herself, wishing it were Angel's arms that were holding her the way they did a few days ago. Wishing he would talk to her, tell her he forgave her, that he still loved her.

She startled when the phone suddenly rang. Pulling herself together she reached for it, "Yes?"

"Hi, Buffy," came a cheerful voice from the other end of the line.

"Faith?" the blond asked incredulously.

"Yeah, it's me. Are you busy tonight? Because if not, would you like to have a drink with me at the Splash after work."

"A drink with you?" Buffy had the feeling she was suddenly living in a dream world. The relationship between her and Faith was strained at best.

"Yes, that's what I said. Look, now that you dumped the ass- I mean Riley, don't you think there's a way we could bury our... uh... problems? I'm not expecting you to be my bestest bud after all this, but what about a peaceful co-existence. Hey if Americans and Russians can manage..." she joked, trailing off.

The blond thought about it for a moment, and then decided, the brunette was right. Their problems had mainly centered around Riley and there was no way she would allow her husband to rule her life any longer. "Sure," she said, "Why not. At the Splash, after work. I'll be there."

"Good," Faith replied. "See you then. And Buffy, thanks for not just hanging up on me."

Replacing the receiver, Buffy stared at it for a moment. Spending an evening with Faith at the Splash? Well, still better than spending it alone at her apartment. Better than just hoping for a dream that might never come true.

****

Faith pressed the red button of her cellular phone and slowly turned around.

"Well?"

"Well, what?" she said, grinning.

"Arrrgh," Willow threw her hands in the air, "What did she say? Is she coming?"

"Yep."

The redhead's eyes lightened up, "Good," she beamed. "Now all we have to do, is to get Angel there as well."

Faith smirked and patted Willow's shoulder, "That, girlfriend, is your problem. I've done my part."

Part 12

Same day, 11.00 a.m.

"I'd really like to know what they're talking about."

Riley looked up to find Darla sitting at the edge of his desk, her face directed towards Giles' office where the lieutenant was sitting and obviously listening to Angel and Spike, the former pacing in agitated steps, gesturing from time to time. Riley gave Darla a look, then shrugged.

"Can you imagine what's going on in there?" she asked, not able to take her eyes from Angel Reardon, the embodiment of her secret, or not so secret, fantasies.

"No," Riley replied, slowly getting annoyed with her. The last thing he wanted to think about was his so-called former best friend. Involuntarily his eyes darted to Buffy's desk, but in not seeing her there he remembered that she and Xander had left early to check out new information for a case they were working on.

"I would really like to know. Giles doesn't look happy, that's for sure."

Riley was about to retort something not very nice when Kate joined them, "Who doesn't look happy?" she asked.

"Giles," Darla replied, "He looks as if he's eaten something he can't digest."

"Oh," Kate's eyes were wide and now she was staring at Giles' office as well.

"Look," Riley said, pointing at the file on his desk, "I have work to do here. I'm not interested in what's going on in there." It was an outright lie of course. He would have given a month's salary to know what they were discussing. Then he snickered, "Maybe our New York cops have already fallen out of Giles' good graces."

"Yeah, yeah, for all you care he could go to hell, we know," Darla said, "but fortunately nobody here is interested in your opinion." She stood and exchanged a glance with her partner. Kate nodded and the two women returned to their own desk.

Riley's eyes followed them. There was no doubt that Darla still had the hots for Angel. Riley remembered everything that had happened between them all those years ago. Angel had still trusted him then, and told him all the gory details, including the way Darla had been clinging to him. It was pathetic. Darla was pathetic in her feelings for the dark-haired man. She had to be about 10 years older than Angel.

Riley snorted in disgust and looked back at Giles' office. No, Angel certainly wouldn't be interested in the blond detective, but you never knew when some information you knew came in handy. With a satisfied smile he continued reading the files.

*

Angel stopped his pacing for a moment to look at Giles, "I have the feeling there's a lot more to this case than we've ever dreamed of."

"Dream?" Giles shook his head and sighed deeply, "I'd call it a nightmare. I can still hardly believe what you've been telling me. Diana Massey, Darla Massey and then Riley Finn with Simone Chambers," he shook his head again. He hated this, had hated it from the beginning but with each day he hated it even more. One dirty cop was already enough in his eyes, but now it looked as if there could be several.

"Here's something none of us have thought about so far," Spike said, studying his hands thoughtfully, then he looked up and straight into Giles' eyes, "Who says that the case is connected to them? It's possible neither of them has anything to do with what we're looking for. I mean, who says that Darla and her sister are up to something at all? Or that Simone doesn't just want to have one final fling before Mike puts the ring on her finger."

"Believe me, Simone didn't look as if she enjoyed her hour with Riley. She looked ready to kill him. I've seen rage in women's eyes and Simone was certainly raging," Angel replied, sitting down beside his partner.

"And you're sure you're not making more of it than there is?" Giles asked tentatively.

"Making more of it?" Angel raised a brow, understanding dawning in his eyes, "I see, because Riley and I had - have - several issues, I'd want to nail his ass?" he asked, his voice uncommonly soft. Spike knew what it meant. His friend was walking on the edge and he was close to exploding. As he'd expected Angel's eyes narrowed, "Believe it or not," he said, "I want to know who the dirty cop is but I'd rather not see Riley hang for it. Issues or not, we go way back and the idea of arresting him," he exhaled sharply and shook his head, "It's like arresting my brother."

"Yes, I understand," Giles replied slowly, and nodded, "But you are aware that Riley might be the one we're looking for."

"Yeah," the dark-haired man nodded too, "I realize that. And there is a part of me that wants him punished for all the things he did to Buffy and me. For the way he treated her, but then I think back about other times, better times and..." he shook his head again, "I never thought this would be so hard."

Spike and Giles exchanged a short understanding look, then the Lieutenant said, "So what we know is that there is a connection between Darla and Diana Massey and probably even to David Griffin. And we also know that Riley and Simone Chambers know each other, we even," he gazed at Angel, then continued, "are able to assume they sleep with each other, whatever the reasons may be. Anything else?"

"No," Angel replied. "But we do have a problem. I'm not quite sure if we can keep this up with only two detectives. There are simply too many suspects running around." He paused and looked at the other two men in the room, "How about two more to help us?"

Giles straightened in his chair, "I'm not sure it's possible. I mean, who should we choose?" he gestured towards the outer office where the other detectives were busy writing reports, reading files or were absent because they were investigating a case. "They're all suspects."

"He's right and you know it," Spike commented, looking at Angel. "But you're right too," he admitted. "It's just not possible to observe everyone with there being just the two of us. Maybe we should talk to the lovely Miss Chase about our little problem," he suggested with a grin. Cordelia Chase was some cocky woman for sure and he might've even looked twice if she wasn't already engaged and obviously very much in love. Also, if he hadn't already found his own object of admiration, he mused, his eyes drifting to Drusilla who was engaged in a conversation with Riley Finn.  Damn the man, Spike thought, a sharp stab of jealousy surging through him. Not that he thought Drusilla would fall for the loser, but he deeply disliked the blond detective and the idea of his love interest being connected to him - in any way - was nothing he liked to see.

"I already did," Angel, informed the other men, "We talked about the problem last night when I went to see her. She agreed that we can't do it on our own and promised to talk to her boss about it. She's going to call me as soon as she has news."

"I see," Giles nodded thoughtfully. "I'm going to think about it too."

"Thanks," Angel replied standing up. Spike did the same and turned towards the door when it suddenly opened and Willow entered, "Oh," she made a startled sound. She'd been deep in thoughts and not really looking.

"Detective Osborne," Giles smiled at her, "is there anything I can do for you?" he asked, then turned to Angel and Spike again, "We're done for now?"

"Yes, we are," Angel said, and then remembered something, "See you later at the Splash, Lieutenant."

"The Splash?" Giles asked confused.

"Yeah, you know. Because of the celebration."

"The... what?" the older man still didn't get it, then he saw Willow gesturing wildly behind Angel's back, signing with her hands. "Oh, the celebration, of course," he exclaimed and saw the redhead exhaling a relieved breath. "Yes, see you then."

Angel nodded, then turned, silently discussing if Giles was already old enough to start forgetting things easily.

As soon as the door was closed, the Lieutenant raised an inquiring brow at Willow, "And now, Detective Osborne, I would really like to know what this was all about," he demanded.

*****

"Don't you think you've tortured us enough already?" the beautiful young woman sniffed, drying her eyes with a handkerchief of white silk. "We answered your questions again and again, Detective Summers." She directed her gaze at Xander and sent him a look pleading for help and understanding.

He suppressed a grin and cleared his throat, "I know Miss Philips," he said, liking the bad-cop-good-cop-routine, especially when he was the good guy for a change, "how hard this is for you. Your mother was killed-"

"She was murdered," Sarah Philips interrupted him, her voice so laced with pain that he was almost tempted to believe her. Almost. But he saw her shouting at her mother's husband, at her sisters and raging when her dead mother's attorney had announced the will that left almost the whole estate to her husband.

"She certainly was," Xander said gently, "And that's the reason we have to do this. To find out who killed her."

"What's there to find out?" she argued, her eyes suddenly clear and dry, her mother instantly forgotten, "We already know who killed her. The one who blinded her with passion, who made her believe that he loved her. We tried to open her eyes, but she wouldn't listen. And he killed her." The tears were back now.

It wasn't the first case of this kind Buffy had seen. In L.A. younger husbands, who inherited wealth from older wives weren't that uncommon, what made this case so special was the fact that  Aurelia Philips had three daughters from three different marriages. Aurelia Philips had been filthy rich, the money partly inherited from her father but also earned with her stunning career as a Hollywood actress. She'd been almost fifty but looked at least ten years younger.

For Buffy it wasn't hard to see why Cameron Graham had been attracted to her. He was an actor as well and they'd met during a film shoot three years ago and the newspapers had announced the love affair of the century. They were obviously in love with each other if you could trust the pictures Buffy had studied since the day she and Xander had been called when Aurelia's body was found with a fatal stab-wound through her heart.

Sure Cameron and Aurelia where top class actors and certainly able to fake their feelings for the cameras, but Buffy had met the widower and to her there was no doubt that he had been in love with his late wife. He'd always seemed so full of life in his films, but now there was just emptiness in his eyes and bone-deep grief. She could relate, she felt the same four years ago.

"We know nothing of the kind," she said now, looking at Sarah Philips, "*You* assume it might have been your... Mr. Graham. But he swears he didn't do it and I'm tempted to believe him."

"Of course you are," she snorted, her pretty face contorting in disgust. "They all do. They all fall for him, for his good looks, his blue eyes. My mother did too. She was a fool like all of them."

"All of them?" Buffy raised a brow, "Does that include you, Miss Philips?"

"You... you," she sprang on her feet, her eyes blazing, "you are... disgusting," she sputtered, her body trembling with rage. "To imply that I lusted after my mother' husband!"

"I didn't imply anything," Buffy replied mildly, "I just, asked a question. You said all women are falling for him and I was interested if that included you. So," she said, crossing her arms, "Does it include you?"

"No, of course not," Sarah Philips retorted, slowly calming down. "I never would've betrayed my mother. I never tried to steal her husband."

"Implying you could," Buffy muttered, then said loudly, "That's not what I asked. I wanted to know if you were... interested in Cameron Graham."

Sarah's eyes narrowed slightly, but this time she had her temper in check, "I won't deny that I thought him attractive. Hell, the world sees him as a sex symbol. I'm female - I'm not completely immune to his charms either. But I never tried anything."

"We believe you," Xander said gently, smiling at her, satisfied when he saw her smiling back. She trusted him. A good sign. "But we still need to have answers to some questions. So would you give us five more minutes of your time?"

"Alright," she replied, giving Buffy a nasty look, "I think five minutes won't hurt."

*"God, what a bitch," Buffy said when they finally left the Philips estate half an hour later. "She certainly is an argument for birth control."

Xander laughed and patted her shoulder, "Don't exaggerate. She isn't that bad."

"Not that bad?" the blond stopped in her strides and stared at him as if he'd grown a second head, "She's worse, Xander. She lies, she tries to manipulate you, and she's a mother's nightmare. And on top of it she's spoiled rotten. She never learned how to lose. An explosive combination."

"I still can't see her shoving a knife into her mother's chest in cold blood," he argued.

"Well, maybe not in cold blood," Buffy replied and continued to walk towards their car. "But what if Mom told her little daughter about the changes in her will. I'm sure it would've caused hot blood."

"We don't know that. You're just assuming things," Xander said.

"And you let yourself impress by that huge-eyed tortured look."

"No, I didn't," he grabbed her arm and forced her to look at him, "I know exactly what kind of woman she is, Buffy. I'm 34 years old, I have a wife and child at home, whom I love and I have more than ten years of experience as a cop. I'm not some fool who falls for a pretty face."

She looked at him for a long moment, then sighed, "I know. I'm sorry, Xander. I didn't want to imply you... well, you know."

"Yeah," he grinned. Starting to walk again, he asked, "The divorce getting to you, huh?"

"That and... other things."

"Those other things being tall, dark, and handsome?"

She sighed again, Xander knew her far too well, "Yeah," she admitted. "God, it's so hard being near him again. I hurt him, Xander. I really hurt him four years ago. And I have no idea how to apologize, I'm not sure there *is* a way to apologize at all. Not after what I've done." They reached the car but Xander didn't climb in. He stood by his door, his arms propped on the roof, he looked at her, "There is always a way to say you're sorry, Buffy," he smiled slightly, "Just go and do it."

"I wish it was that easy," she replied, her own smile incredibly sad.

"Maybe it's easier than you think," he said. "Maybe you're in for a big surprise if you just jump in and try."

Go to Part 13