Disclaimer: I own Jessica that's it. If you recognize 'em, Joss owns 'em. I'm just borrowing them. I promise that when they are returned, they will be in tip-top condition.
Spoilers: This takes place after "Becoming", but before "Anne". It uses some info from "Anne" though. Also has a spoiler for "Helpless". You'll know 'em when you see 'em
Dedication: To my school, Marshall University, home of the MAC Champs! If you guys hadn't given us the week of Thanksgiving off, I wouldn't have been up at 4:00 in the morning watching Buffy reruns. Consequently I wouldn't have been inspired to write at 7:00 in the morning after watching Becoming I and II, and Anne. Without that, I wouldn't have been tired enough to let my thoughts ramble, which almost always results in sad angsty fics.
Distribution: Anyone who is crazy enough, and so desires to may post this, just send me a link so I can see my name and fic on a page! It gives me a happy.
Summary: Angel has somehow gotten out of hell, don't ask how! He finds his way to LA and into a small diner. Happiness ensues!
Rating: PG or PG-13
Feedback: Yes! In fact it's required! If you want me to write more, send feedback. Wait, scratch that, and send feedback anyway.

Angel:

What am I doing in LA? Back in the place that started my demise. The City of Angels, the city where my angel was raised, was forced to accept her destiny, and where she truly grew up. My angel, who sent me to Hell. But with the burden of the world on her shoulders, can I really blame her for what she did? Of course not, how could I?

After I regained my memory of what I did to her, I'm glad for what she did. No amount of suffering could be penance enough for what my demon did to her. But I digress, as I often do, so bear with me please, and you'll understand why LA was my demise.

It was here, I saw my beautiful angel for the first time. I sat outside her school and watched her come down the steps of Hemery and I loved her. I saw her be expelled and I wished that I could make everything better. I saw her cry as a result of her parent's divorce and I wanted more than anything in the world to lift the pain from her heart. I wanted to shelter her from everything that might have ever harmed her, and most of all I wanted to make things the way they were before she was the Slayer.

If only I had refused Whistler's offer to become someone. Maybe then I could have sheltered her from the immeasurable pain she had to bear; her punishment for the simple crime of loving me.

I found out that she had gotten expelled yet again, this time for toting a sword around school. She was wanted for murder, was thrown out of her house, and even forced to ally herself with Spike. She ran away from her whole life because of me. For the love of all things Holy, I wish I had possessed the will power to stay away from her. Her life would at least be better.

Buffy:

Back in LA, my hometown, it hardly seems like home anymore. The other day, after my shift was over, I went to look at my old high school. It hasn't really changed, other than the fact that they've built another gym. I wondered what anyone would do if they saw me. Probably laugh at me. Standing in front of Hemery, I couldn't help but think of all the things that happened there. My being crowned Homecoming Princess, May Queen, Fiesta Queen, Cheerleading Captain, God the list could go on for hours.

I remember being called as well. It was such a nice day. I was sitting on the steps after school, and Merrick came up to me. At first I thought he was a loon, but that night I slayed my first vampire, the first of many.

After that day, my memories aren't as happy. My parent's impending divorce, losing all of my friends, burning down the gym, and getting expelled. When my mom said we were moving to Sunnydale, I thought great, now I can go back to being normal! Hah! Life in Sunnydale was far from normal! I've dealt with witches, a giant praying mantis, found out my boyfriend was a vampire, and I've even died!

The night Angel lost his soul, God why did I have to think of that? It was the best night of my life, but it made it spin totally out of control. Theresa, Ms. Calendar, Kendra, Angel, and every life that Angelus took because I couldn't kill him. They're all blood on my hands. It's blood that can never be washed off.

Now I know how Angel felt, if only a little bit. Feeling guilty for all the death he caused, I feel guilty for all the death I couldn't prevent. I wonder if Angel forgives me for sending him to Hell. I don't know, maybe someday I'll run across a spell to get him out. I'm rambling now; it doesn't really matter because my break is over. Back to work.

Angel:

I'm in what Buffy would have called my "brooding moods". I wish I knew where she was, if not only for me to see her, but so she could go back home, where she belongs. I would give anything in the world to see her truly happy, she deserves it.

She's been through so much, and most of it was my fault. It's my fault she's in so much pain, if only I would have stayed away from her! Damn it! It's so hard sometimes, wondering whether she's dead or in jail. If she's in jail it's my fault; I helped to set it up so it looked like she murdered Kendra. If I hadn't tried to awaken Acathla, she wouldn't have been thrown out of her house. Her mom wouldn't know she was the Slayer either. All my fault, damn it! What does it matter if it's my fault or not, if I could I would change it, but I can't so I have to live with the fact my true love's suffering because of me. All because of me.

Buffy:

God, I wonder if I screwed up everyone else's life as much as I screwed up Angel's. It was my fault he lost his soul. He said maybe we shouldn't, but I had to push until I got my way! And look what my way got me! I'll regret that decision for the rest of my life. If it wasn't for me, Angel wouldn't be in Hell. I wouldn't have endangered my friends, my parent's wouldn't be divorced, and Jenny and Kendra wouldn't be dead.

I hope my mom understands why I had to leave, to save the world and royally screw up my life even more.

Oh great, now I'm brooding! Angel's gone so I have to take his place. I hope he knows no one will ever take his place in my heart, I'll love him with my last breath, and beyond.

Both: (Angel's thoughts are in * *, Buffy's thoughts are in < >, Jessica's are in //

*Helen's Diner, I guess it won't hurt to go in here for a cup of coffee. Maybe they can tell me where I can stay for the night. *

Angel walked into the small dingy diner and immediately could sense a change in the air. It was thicker somehow, more tangible. Not really paying attention to his surroundings Angel sat down at an unoccupied booth. A young brunette waitress came to take his order, "What'll you have?"

Without even looking up at the girl he ordered a cup of coffee. He handed her a five-dollar bill, and she left to fill the order.

"Anne, oh my God you have got to check out this awesome specimen of manhood. Damn, I wonder if he's single?" Jessica said.

Anne smiled at the antics of her compadre, but she refused to take the obvious bait the girl was feeding her. She had told Jessica numerous times that she just wasn't ready to date yet, but obviously it went in one ear and out the other.

She smiled, "Oh really, if he's so great why are you standing in here talking about him when you could be flirting?" Seemingly having stumped her friend, Anne went back to the task of filling the salt shakers.

"Because I have a boyfriend, you don't. And that is why you are going to go out and bring this guy his cup of coffee."

"I dunno," Anne replied, although her curiosity was enflamed. Usually Jess was unflappable when it came to guys, nothing ever seemed to impress her a great deal. This guy must be something if she was this excited over him.

"What does he look like?" Jessica smiled before she told Anne. She knew when she had won.

"Well, he's tall, and you should see the way clothes hang on him! Dark brown, spiky hair; deep, brooding brown eyes; he's definitely your type." she trailed off, looking to see if Anne was interested. She was.

"Okay, I'll take a look," Anne said, moving towards his table.

"Wait!" Jessica hissed, "You can't go over there looking like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you don't care how you look. Don't move." She ran to get her purse, and motioned for Anne to join her.

"I thought you said not to move," Anne quipped, feeling a little bit like her old self. Wait, don't even go there! She scolded herself mentally.

She dutifully closed her eyes as Jess applied a light dusting of powder to her face, then a small amount of eye shadow, and finally topped off the look with a pearly pink lip-gloss. Before Anne knew what was happening her companion had taken her braided pig tails out and was hurriedly running a brush through her hair. She stepped back and looked at her quick handy work.

"Voila, cuteness in under 3 minutes." Jessica quickly poured the cup of coffee and sat it on Anne's tray, "Now go!" she finished, giving her comrade a little shove.

Anne walked out of the small space that served as a waitress's pantry and over to the table where the man sat at. Anne plastered on her best flirting smile and sat down the cup of coffee. She noticed the man had on a Claddagh ring just like her own.

"Can I get you anything else?" Anne inquired, wanting the man to lift his head so she could get a look at his face.

A familiar voice rang in Angel's head, "Can I get you anything else?" it inquired, it almost sounded like, * No it can't be, I just know it. * But curiosity got the better of Angel and he raised his head to look at the waitress. He found himself staring into the eyes of his Buffy.

She looked beautiful, her hair lying in wavy ringlets, her face absolutely glowing as she stared back at him, eyes transfixed with his. Buffy appeared to be ethereal, almost goddess like, and Angel could not tear his gaze away from hers, even if he wanted to. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. When he was finally able to form words, he found he had nothing to say except "Buffy?" With that, Buffy startled out of her reverie, and remembered it wasn't possible for Angel to be there.

"No, it's not really you," she said, as tears ran dejectedly down her curved cheeks, "you're in Hell and it's my fault."

Angel stood up and took Buffy into his arms, crooning nonsense words and stroking her hair, not caring about the scene they were making in the middle of the small diner. Jessica walked out of the pantry, wanting to see how Anne was getting along with the handsome stranger, and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the two of them in a lover's embrace. //How does she do that? I *so* need to dye my hair blonde.//

"Buffy," he said, tilting her head so she could look in his eyes, "I'm here, I'm mortal, and I'm never going to leave again."

She sniffed, "Mortal? How?"

"I'm still sort of fuzzy on the details, but I am. And I've spent the last month of my life looking for you. I'd dreamed about what I'd say if I ever found you, but I can't remember any of it."

"Shh," she comforted, "you don't need to remember. Just kiss me."

And with that, their lips fused together in a mix of such love and passion that the other patrons could feel the emotions brightening dark forgotten corners of their hearts and awakening jaded memories of their own neglect loves. Dimly, Buffy and Angel heard the clapping and cheering that was going on, but none of it mattered. In each other's arms, they were back in familiar territory.

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