Rating: Pg13-R. It deals with major character death.
Spoilers: None that I know of, I guess just general BtVS-A:tS spoilers.
Feedback: Yes please! Send it to
Distribution: Anyone who wants it (Cause that'll happen and all) can have it, just email me and tell me where it's going.
"Authors Notes: It is scary what my mind dreams up sometimes. I wrote this instead of sleeping through English Lit and I think I probably should have slept. This kind of sucks,so…
Dedication: To Michelle, Cass, and Kate foralways supporting my writing, and staying Die-hard B/A.

I numbly stood looking at the small white tombstone marking the final resting place of my beloved.

I found it rather disquieting that someone who risked her life every night battling the forces of darkness could succumb to the ravages of something as normal as a brain tumor.

A month before the tumor made itself known, the Powers That Be granted me my soul, for good this time. It seems I had finally paid penance for my numerous sins, and I was released from my duty as a warrior for light.

That month was the happiest of my unnatural life. I had the opportunity to see my love graduate college, the first slayer in history to accomplish this. The pride I felt for my beautiful slayer was such that I felt I would burst. When she accepted her diploma, tears of joy fell from my cheeks. Life was perfect. Then the headaches started.

It is ironic that the very same slayer healing that saved her life so many times would also be the very thing that killed her. Her advanced healing kept the symptoms of the tumor to a minimum; until it had grown so large, the doctors were unable to treat it.

The diagnosis came as a shock to all of us, but we kept it together, for Buffy's sake. She gave us specific orders not to cry for her, but how could we not? She was the center of all our lives, and when we were alone, anguished tears made their familiar paths down each and every one of our cheeks.

I sat by my beautiful Slayer's bed, listening to her moans of pain that not even the strongest palliative could comfort.

Joyce was kind enough to arrange the funeral after dark so Spike and I could be in attendance. Afterwards I sat by the fresh grave, not in fear that she would rise, but because I couldn't bear to leave my beloved.

That was a year ago, and since then, the pain hasn't gotten any easier. The ache of despair and loss still burn tears in my throat. My grief is still as strong as the day my angel died.

She was meant to live in the light, but her being the Chosen One often prevented that. I was meant to live in the darkness, but the first time I met her, I felt as if the sun's very rays were shining on me, just for me. We completed each other, of that I am sure, even in death she inspired me. For the first time in 250 years, with her name escaping my lips, I greeted the dawn, and I rejoiced

Send feedback to Juliet

Back to the Fanfiction Archive