Spoilers: Up to and including Sanctuary for Angel and whatever the corresponding time in BtVs is (i think it's wild at heart)
Rating: An Angsty G
Distribution: If you've got the first part, then feel free to take this one also. If not please ask and you shall receive :)
Disclaimer: Nope none of the characters or situations outlined in the story below, belong to me. As you all know if they did they'd be happily getting all touchy feely and we'd all be happy campers. No they belong to Joss Whedon, WB, Fox Mutant Enemy and probably lots of other talented people too. JUST NOT ME- OK WE clear
Author's Note: Ok I know I promised those lovely people who gave me wonderful feedback for Release me, another part soon and it's coming this just kept popping into my head, thus it gets written first. This is after Buffy left the police house in Sanctuary and is angel's POV on their relationship. Let me know if you haven't read Buffy's and i'll send it your way :)
Feedback: Please, I have been reading lots of conflicting perspectives on the B/A relationship this is just my view, I'd love to hear some others :)
Dedication: To the Cat's, firstly cat in Glasgow cause your birthdays only 3 sleeps away sweetie :) and to Sydney Cat whose still fighting off a cold. Also for Suja and Freda who are still patiently waiting for fluff, sorry I am all angsty at the moment so I hope this will tide you over :)

POLICE HOUSE

I can't believe she would leave it like that, every cell within my being is screaming at me to go and follow her to wipe away the pain and betrayal I saw in her eyes. The foundless emotions that I see in her everytime I shut my eyes.

But despite the longing that intensifies with each second I stand, still watching the night rush past me as we wait for news of Faith. As much as I would love to, she is not my first priority right now, I have responsibilities just as she does and tonight they will prevent me from following. I only pray that they will not prevent my following later, that she will understand.

I never thought I would question her understanding of my actions, we used to be so attuned to eachother that words were not needed. I know it sounds like the line from a soap opera, but for us from the first time we made eye contact she could see into my soul and I hers. We never had to justify our actions to eachother, only to those who surrounded us, those who never really understood what we shared.

Faith needs help, regardless of whether she finds the salvation she is searching for or decided it is not worth the pain the fight. I can help her through this I know I can, why am I so sure you might question? Why would a vampire who has fed off human misery and pain for centuries be able to show another the value of their being? Buffy, she is the answer, it's quite simple you see. The fact that she was able to show me the importance my being had in the world, to other's, to her. That is why I thought she would be able to understand why I had to at least try. I owed it to the souls of those I destroyed to try and help Faith find her salvation, I owe it to Buffy to be the person she convinced me I was.

I know she feels betrayed and a small dark shadowed place in me is slightly pleased by her pain. Not the demon, no a deep place within the man, because that way she may feel a small sliver of what I did when I heard about Parker, or Riley. When I think of her in the sunlight with her new love, the one she trusts. What a joke, she trusts him more than me, I wonder if he would close his eyes for her. I would in heartbeat if she asked even knowing what would follow. For her alone, not for Cordy or Wesley no matter how close they have become, no she is still the only being on the dimension which I trust with my soul and life completely.

I thought she knew that, that's why I figured she would understand my actions. A year ago she would have known, without a doubt, but I guess time changes everything, at least for her.

Okay I feel better for writing that :) I have to convince myself that there's still love there for both of them, under their pain for my own sanity :) But it's just my opinion, feel free to agree or disagree, but I would appreciate anyone else's point of view.

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