Meant For Each Other I: Promises

by Shining Star

E-MAIL: ralph8401@juno.com
SERIES: "Meant for Each Other"
GENRE: Romance mostly, some action, lots os angst.
CLASSIFICATION: Buffy/Angel. The entire is mostly B/A fluff stuff.
RATING: PG/PG-13 for major angst.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters or that one unforgettable scene that makes me cry every time.
SPOILERS: "IWRY" and "Earshot"
FEEDBACK: Please, oh, please! Don't make me get down on my knees!
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just ask first. Automatically for the B/A fluff site, Serena.
SUMMARY: Buffy's going through some changes, and while she tries to figure out why, she finds out some pretty important truths.
DEDICATION: To all of my beta-readers, and to every B/A shipper who has been torn in two these past months.


~*~*~ "PROMISES" ~*~*~

The seasons changed. Summer melted to autumn, and autumn gave way to winter. And winter brought with it changes. Small and settle, unnoticeable at first. She hadn't even so much as identified them; yet she knew something was different.

On the inside. That was where the changes occurred. She felt them rumbling inside her veins, boiling her blood. They heightened each of her senses to the point of almost perfect clarity. No whisper went unheard, no movement unseen. Each shadow had depth, and each breath of air was alive.

She wasn't sure what had brought about such changes. The fact disturbed her as much as it intrigued her, if not more so. The new perspective made her feel superhuman and immortal; she had to remind herself every few minutes of who she was and what her purposes were. No matter what powers came her way, she was still human - capable of making mistakes.

Nothing could change that.

The experience was both humbling and confusing. She felt all alone and scared. Before these changes, she had been blind. So blind. And in all honesty, she wished she still was. Heightened clarity only exposed her to a world worse than the one she had known. She wanted it to stop.

So she went to the only person she knew had the answers. He always did. Giles. She knew she was growing desperate. Desperate enough to show up on his porch at seven AM on a Monday morning.

He opened the door, still half-asleep. She could see that from the blank stare in his eyes, he had yet to fully come to his senses. There was a dreamy way in which he moved. "Buf-fy?" he asked, pronouncing each syllable with great difficulty.

She didn't even wait for him to invite her in; she simply barged on through. Once she had reach the couch, she whirled around, arms crossed in front of her. "Giles, I need help," she declared in a tone that meant business. She began to pace back and forth nervously. "I've been feeling things differently. More clearly. Everything is itself. times one hundred." She rubbed her head and groaned.

Giles studied her closely, but she had the feeling he didn't know why. He had yet to close the front door. Facial expressions still had not formed on his tired face.

"Giles?!" she cried, exasperated.

He must have snapped awake by the sound of his name because all at once, his body was full of movement. He quietly shut the door and leaned against it. Giles pulled his glasses off and rubbed his nose, a habit of his when times were bad. "This. um. this could mean several things, Buffy. Y-y-you could have. well, you could have a-acquired a power of a demon."

"I haven't battled any demons lately," Buffy admitted. She was rather relieved they could rule out that possibility. Last time she had received an "aspect of the demon," it had resulted in a migraine that could only be relieved by drinking a demon's heart. She didn't want to go through all of that again.

Giles paused a moment to think. "Your powers could have grown," he suggested weakly.

"Any way we can find out for sure?"

************************************

Buffy stood at the stone gate and for a split second, hesitated. The Gate of the Lost Souls. Conveniently located underneath the LA post office.

Giles had sent her here, of all places, to search for her answers. The Oracles. He had explained rather plainly that if anyone knew what was going on, it would be them. From his sketchy description, she had managed to gather that they were God-like beings who only communicated with Warriors. Since Giles was not considered to be a Warrior, he was forced to send her to fetch the information.

Of course, neither of them could ignore the area she would be in and who also resided there. Giles gave her firm direction not to make any "social calls" while visiting the nearby city. She told him in return that she was not a little kid anymore and that she had moved on.

Now at the opening to the Oracles, she repeated the ancient words reputed to unlock the gate and stood back, waiting. But only for a fraction of a second. In mere moments, heavenly light replaced the wall covering the entrance and illuminating the entire underground cavern. She was frightened of the overpowering light and drew back. But from somewhere deep inside, it beckoned to her. The rays of light reached out for her heart and drew her in, almost involuntarily.

Without noticing the difference, the room around her changed. The realization startled her, and her instincts drove her to look for some exit or possible escape route. But there was none. Unless one could count the hall behind them. Them. Male and female. The beings Buffy could only assume were the

Oracles. They were studying her carefully. The man seemed skeptical, while the woman peered at her with genuine curiosity. They resembled human beings in many ways except for their skin. It was the color of heaven itself and radiated love. Their eyes held wisdom no human could possess.

Buffy shifted uncomfortably under their gaze. She felt like she was under a microscope. Perhaps she was, just not the kind she knew of. "Um, I need some information," she declared.

"I assumed so," the man said with his arms folded unwelcomingly over his chest. "What gift have you brought?"

"Gift?" Buffy echoed with raised eyebrows. Giles had forgotten to mention that to her. Buffy searched her pockets. Just her luck. Empty. Sighing, she pulled a ring off her finger, not even caring which one it was. All she cared was that Giles reimbursed her.

The ring flew from her hand to the woman's. The woman inspected it closely. Her eyes lit up, and her entire face brightened as she identified it. She turned to the other half and told him excitedly, "Look! She brought us love! *His* love."

The man turned towards her to see what she could be talking about. The gift softened his face slightly and he faced Buffy.

"His?" Buffy repeated with wide eyes. "You mean Angel's?" Angel was the only one who had ever given her a ring. But she didn't understand. She had lost that ring over a year ago. But there it was, resting gently in the palm of the woman's had. "How do you know Angel?"

"We have talked," replied the woman, slipping the ring onto her finger. Though her fingers were bonier than Buffy's, the ring was a perfect fit. She held up her hand, admiring it proudly.

"About what?" Buffy was simply and innocently curious. She expected to hear that he had asked about some local demon or something. Never in her wildest dreams - okay, so maybe in her *wildest* dreams - had she expected to get the answer she was given.

"He asked that we spare your life in return for him," the man explained, stepping forward. "To take away his gift of humanity."

"Wait a minute." Buffy paused for a minute to steady herself. "Angel was human?"

"For a day," the woman agreed with a nod of her head. She cocked her head to the side and glanced at the Slayer thoughtfully. "You don't remember."

"Am I supposed to?"

"No," the woman answered. She shook her head slowly. "Only he remembers." She fell silent, then added, "But you made him a promise."

Buffy's heart began thumping loudly in her chest. She brought her up to her heart, laying it on top to feel each beat.

<< "I felt your heart beat." she declared sadly between tears, her hand resting gently over his heart. It beat in time with her own. >>

Buffy shook her head to shake away the vision. Whatever it had been, it was full of sadness and sorrow and loss. And sacrifice. She was in the vision. She and Angel. But those words had never passed her lips. She was sure of it. She looked to the Oracles for help.

The woman gave in. "He asked us to turn back the day," she explained. "To stop himself from being turned human again. And only he remembers the day."

Buffy finally understood. The Amora demon. She had always suspected there was something off about the easy defeat. It was as if he had killed it before. She looked into the Oracles' godly eyes. "Then I ask you to give us the day back."

"What?" the man cried, although he had heard her perfectly.

"Send me back there, let me remember," she replied. "I want to remember."

*****

A bright flash of light.

Suddenly, Buffy was standing across from Angel, down in his LA apartment. He had his cryptic face on, which automatically gave away that he was hiding something from her. "Where have you been?"

"I went to see the Oracles," he answered. Their eyes met each other's, and he looked away. He couldn't bring himself to look into those innocent eyes. She had no idea what was about to happen. No idea. "I asked them to turn me back."

"What?" Buffy wasn't sure whether to laugh, scream, or break into tears. He couldn't be serious. "Why?"

"Because I finally know how much I love you," he declared. As if that were excuse enough to take this away from her. Hadn't he already known his love for her?

She backed away from him as he advanced to comfort her. "No, no, you didn't." Buffy knew the only person she was trying to convince was herself. She knew Angel wouldn't tell her such a thing if he had not followed through with it. She started into the next room, needing to escape from the anxiety and tension. He followed.

"If I stay mortal, one of us will wind up dead, maybe both of us," he tried to reason with her. The night before had been proof enough of that. "You heard what Amora said."

Buffy whirled around. "Amora's gone!" she cried desperately. "We killed him!"

"He said others would come," he reminded her quietly. Pointedly. The fight was never over, and with one of them out of play, the statistics didn't look good.

"They always come!" she exclaimed. Buffy could feel tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. She knew she was fighting a no-win battle, but she fought anyway. She wasn't going to let Angel do this without rethinking it, without hearing her views. She couldn't just give in. "But that's my problem now, not yours, remember?"

"No," Angel argued firmly. "I won't just stand by and let you fight, maybe die alone."

"Then we fight together!"

Angel brushed past her. He knew this was hard on her, and his only source of comfort was knowing she wouldn't remember. "Buffy, you saw what happened last night. If anything, I'm a liability to you. You take chances to protect me. That's not just bad for you; it's bad for the people we were meant to help." Somehow, everything always boiled down to her being the Slayer. This was the side of slaying that was never explained when a young girl was called. It was a place which she had to stumble through blindly.

"So what?" she accused angrily. "Y-y-you just took a whole twenty-four hours to weigh the ups and downs of being a regular Joe and decided it was more fun being a superhero?" Buffy knew she was being unreasonable, blaming him for things beyond his control. But she felt her control over her life slipping from her grasp, and she was making every attempt to hold on.

"You know that's not it. How can we be together if the cost is your life? Or the lives of others?"

She couldn't say anything. Everything he said was true. But how could it be? How could the world be so unkind? So cruel? She looked up at him with her tear-stained face.

He opened his mouth, not believing everything he had just said and done. He had recognized the hurt he caused. Slowly, he walked towards her, wrapping his arm around her and letting her fall against his chest. "I-I-I couldn't tell you," he whispered softly, stroking her blonde hair. "I wasn't sure I could do it if I woke up with you one more morning."

"I understand," she replied, still crying into his chest. Buffy drew back and looked up at him. Her eyes were glossy with tears. Her world was being taken away by the cruel hands of fate. Yet she tried her best for him, she tried to be strong. "So. what happens now?"

He took in a deep breath, tenderly stroking her cheek. "The Oracles are giving us back the day. Turning back time. So I can kill Amora before his blood makes me mortal."

"When?" she inquired in a tiny voice. Maybe there was still time.

He glanced over her shoulder at the clock and drew in another breath. "Another minute."

She felt all air escape her lungs. And for the first time, she felt what she truly thought was her heart breaking. "A minute?!" she echoed. No, there has to be some way. Oh, God, only a minute? "No, no, it's not enough time!" she cried, shaking her head furiously. Her heart rate quickened considerably in anticipation.

"We don't have a choice; it's done," he stated quickly. He felt time closing in on them. Oh, God, less than a minute.

"How am I supposed to go on with my life knowing what we had?" she more of stated, trying her best not to break into hysterics. "What we could have had?" she added in a whisper. Buffy's entire body trembled.

"You won't. No one will know but me," he explained. His only comfort was knowing that the pain would be over for her once the time was up.

She shook her head in disbelief, furrowing her eyebrows. "Everything we did?" The concept seemed impossible to her. How *could* she forget?

"It never happened."

"It did!" she protested. Buffy tried to hold on to her last shred of sanity. Heaven was being stolen away from her. "It did! I know it did!" She gaped at him, at his heart. It beat in time with hers. It never would again. "I felt your heart beat," she declared to herself, her chin quivering.

"Buffy."

She gazed up at him with longing eyes. Her eyes pleaded with him - with God, even - that this not happen.

He started to speak, but she brought him to silence with a kiss. Their last kiss together. How could she forget? She pulled away, looking at him, and then casting a glance at the clock. Their minute was almost spent.

"Oh, God!" she trembled, whirling around. Her face was distorted with anguish. Only mere seconds left with the man she loved more than the world. It wasn't. they couldn't. "It's not enough time!"

He tried to calm her. "Shhh." Angel shook his head. "Please, please, please," he whispered over and over as they wrapped each other in their arms. He prayed to God for a miracle. To unsay what he said.

"I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget," she vowed, her nose brushing his ear each time she said it. Maybe if she made her point clear enough to God, He could grant her the memory of the day.

"Please." Angel felt a tear slip down his cheek.

"Never forget. never forget." she continued, her voice growing more distant with each repetition. They squeezed each other tightly, their heart beating its last beat as one.

*****

"So. Then let's just stick to the plan. Keep our distance until a lot of time has passed. Given enough time, we should be able to-."

"Forget," he finished for her.

Their eyes met each other's in a moment of seriousness. The sound of her pounding heart filled her head, and she clutched her chest.

<< "How am I supposed to go on with my life, knowing what we had?" she demanded. She felt as if she was a cat and their love a cat toy. She kept reaching out to grab a hold of it. But she could never keep a hold. It always slipped from her grasp. "What we could have had?" >>

Angel was studying her closely as her vision faded away. She placed her hand on her forehead. Everything had come back to her in an overwhelming rush. Everything they had said and done. Every feeling she had felt. Everything. She stared at him blankly. "I forgot what I'm supposed to say here."

Buffy watched his eyes grow big. His mouth tried to form comprehensive words, but no sound would come out. Finally, he managed out, "Y-y-y-you remember?"

Before she could respond, the window broke as Amora leaped in. Angel shoved him away and was ready to smash the gem, when Buffy suddenly cried, "Don't!"

Both demon and vampire halted and looked at her with confusion. She took the opportunity as her advantage. Charging at the two, she vaulted onto the demon's back, causing its arms and legs to thrash out as it tried to throw her off.

Buffy pulled a knife from her pocket (hey, she always had to be prepared) and slashed the demon's throat. It cried out in pain, and its left hand flew to its throat. Satisfied, she grabbed Angel's hand, sliced his palm, and was ready to jam it up against the demon's throat.

Angel resisted, throwing her off and sending both her and the demon back against the wall. "Buffy!" he exclaimed, rushing over to help her up. "What are you doing?" he questioned, grabbing her arms and shaking her.

She threw off his grip. "What am *I* doing? What am *I* doing?" she echoed, matching his angry shouts. "What are *you* doing?"

The demon bolted, hurdling out of the window again. They could hear its wails of pain as it sprinted down the street.

Angel was exasperated, gesturing at the broken window through which Amora had escaped. "Look what you did, Buffy! I was trying to save us!"

Buffy reeled back her wrist and let it sail. It landed in his jaw with a "thowk." He cowered, but looked to her for an explanation. Buffy was breathing heavy, not just from anger, but from the tears she could feel coming. "You're not trying to save us!" Her voice grew a bit softer as she told him, "You're tearing us apart." By then, all the anger was gone from her voice. "I *told* you I wouldn't forget, and I didn't. How could I forget the day my dreams came true?"

He stared into her eyes, his right hand gently stroking her cheek. She grabbed onto his hand gently, but her attention never left his face. He saw everything in her sad eyes. The love. The loss. The loneliness. He realized then that her eyes reflected his own.

"I love you *so* much, Angel," she whispered. "And I can't do this anymore. I can't stand leaving each other."

"Me neither," he agreed, shaking his head, feeling tears trickle down his face. He rested his forehead against her own, and they let each other shed tears silently. Once both had calmed down considerably, he pulled back, gazing from the broken window to his love. "We still need to find him."

She nodded and wiped off her face, drying her tears. "Do you have-?"

"-anywhere to change?" he finished for her, as if reading her thoughts. Both of them smiled as their eyes met. They had been here before. Angel nodded. "Dress appropriately. We're hitting the sewers."

*****

The sewer was dank and dreary, yet much cleaner than the sewer tunnels in Sunnydale, They ventured down there, flashlight in one hand, each other's hands in the other. It didn't take long to locate the demon, for as they had pointed out, they had already lived through all of this.

The demon was waiting in the shadows. Angel knew that from last time. He simply strolled over, grabbed the demon on the back, and threw him to the ground. The demon stared up at him with fear, yet it climbed back to its feet for another fight.

Buffy snuck up from behind, grabbing the demon's arms, and pinning them behind its back so it couldn't move. "Now, Angel!"

Angel swiped his bloody hand along the demon's throat, making sure to soak up some blood. The other hand soon landed in the demon's power center - the jewel on its forehead. Amora stumbled backwards, and Buffy let go. Amora burst into light.

Angel was on his knees, feeling the change wash over him. It was a settle change, his heart gradually picking up the pace. He began breathing heavily. He stared up at Buffy, who was observing him expectantly. Ever so shakily, he climbed to his feet. "I. I'm human."

She rushed up to him with a sudden burst of emotion, and wrapped him in a hug. He did the same. Both of them were crying, but they were tears of joy. He stroked her hair firmly, rapidly. "And this time, things won't change."

"Promise?" she asked.

"Promise."

The End

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