DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, Joss does, lyrics belong to REM
SPOILERS: The Freshman for Buffy and City Of for Angel
SYNOPSIS: Buffy's thinking about Angel when he first left and afterwards
DISTRIBUTION: Please let me know if you want it
FEEDBACK: Please… I crave it
RATING: PG
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This id also based on a song by REM, so it kinda goes with The One I Love. My mom wanted another one, so here you go.

Did you never call? I waited for your call
These rivers of suggestion are driving me away
The trees will bend, the cities wash away
The city on the river there is a girl without a dream

I thought he would call me. The part of me that knows every inch of his soul hoped and wished he would call. Saying it was just some joke, or that he changed his mind and needed, wanted to come back. That was the hopeful part of me, because he never did. Everyone around me keeps telling me what to do. They can't realize that all I want to do it cry. Cry away all the pain and hurt and guilt that comes with your name. I don't have a life without you. My life is without a dream and empty. The city on the river there is a girl without a dream

I'm sorry

How many things those words can mean. They can hold life itself in its grasp, yet they can also mean jack. That's all it would take to get me back, if even that. Those two little words, that I can't get from you. I'm sorry.

Eastern to Mountain, third party call, the lines are down
The wise man built his words upon the rocks
But I'm not bound to follow suit
The trees will bend, the conversations dimmed.
Go build yourself another home, this choice isn't mine

I wish I could just be like you and not appear so vulnerable to everyone. But I'm not you. I'm so afraid that if I see you again one day we won't have anything to say to one another. Or that we will have so much to say, yet don't say anything, because of our pride. That's my biggest fear, well that and the fact that I might not ever get the chance to not say anything to you, in the chance that I might not ever see you again. Let's hope it doesn't come to that. So you went away to go build yourself a new home and I can't be part of that life. That choice isn't mine.

Did you never call? I waited for your call
These rivers of suggestion are driving me away
The ocean sang; the conversation's dimmed
Go build yourself another dream, this choice isn't mine.

I'm still waiting, and I probably always will be. You left me alone here, you didn't give me a second thought, or did you? You should have a good life, one that I don't think I can ever have now. You can have my dream; I don't have one anymore, so you can take it. If I did have one it would be that you had never left, but what are the chances of that? Slim to none. I'm sorry, so sorry. For both of us. Go build yourself another dream, this choice isn't mine.

Somewhere in LA a phone was being dialed, but would never come through.

I'm sorry.

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