DISCLAIMER: All right. Joss + FOX = Owners. That is all.
SPOILERS: This is during "The Yoko Factor." And some hints of it's predecessor "Sanctuary". And honestly that's it. It's just Buffy/Angel. Well, Buffy's in the dorm so I guess I could say "The Freshman"... I'm just wasting time now.
SIDE NOTE: This is one of those "What if's" things. I don't think I've read a Fic like this.. -.- So, this is a "What if Riley hadn't walked in on Buffy and Angel's conversation?" And like.. none of the dialogue is the same, so no worries. And is there angst? Well I DID write it...(Take that as a yes. ^.^)
RATING: I'd say PG-ish. Nothing too scary, except for Buffy's mind..
DISTRIB': 'Ask and ye shall receive.' If you dare want this. Heh. It's goin' up on me an' Shasti's site(Yo gurl-ay! Thanks for the encouragement!) ~www.crosswinds.net/~onbrokenwings/broken.html
FEEDBACK: I think I have enough from Shasti to last me a lifetime. . .no wait, I don't. *G* Pleaaase?

Part one

She felt him. Through the stonewall barriers and layers of plywood, she had felt him. His presence creeped through her system like wildfire. He was the knotting sensaton within her stomach. He was the way her legs went weak in the knees. He was her past. The fallen rays of light buried in the darkest folds of her soulless mind. She felt the awakening. And before she knew it, he was there. Behind that closed wooden barrier. All she had to do was open it

Eternity could never feel like this. The approach to the door was in trepidation. In fear what she would be opening, was the window in her mind. The Hand latched itself upon the handle and gradually it was twisted. An arcane wind seemed to pass through the doorway as her eyes laid upon him. Angel. Without thinking, she stepped aside saying, "Come in."

Over the threshold he gratefully stepped. Doors were closed and souls locked together in a heated stare. She would speak again, though not from the heart. She was still too weak to fight. Like the phoenix, only buried too deep under the rubble of broken dust to rise.

"What are you doing here?"

He flinched. His soul receded from her grasp and he erected the necessary barriers to get through this conversation. "I..."

She cut him off. The minute her eyes set upon marred flesh, she became protective. Another thoughtless gesture was made. One hand extended she stretched her fingers delicately across the blemishes and again he flinched. All there was between them now was the empty, painful silence. Nothing else had to be said. She understood. She always understood. But still hidden in her mind was confusion. Everything she left behind was disclosed. It made her tremble. Raw lust resurfaced as thousands of old wounds seduced her abstract mind. And then she blinked them away with a sharp growl and step back. This was business as usual. Pure in its own rite

"You what?" The voice that escaped her seemed rugged and pained. She sounded just like a lifeless vessel courting a fruitless cause.

"I'm sorry," it came out almost as a plea. Though she took it as the easy way out. At first. For him to steal into the night once again and perhaps never return. She almost broke down, but as he grasped her small hands within his own, she hissed. But this time, he wouldn't let go. And so began her familiarized confusion. "What? Tell me what."

"The phone," she spat. "Ever tried it?"

The topic had to be changed. "You're different--"

"I'm stronger. I've improved."

Though inside she felt like a small little girl, waiting to exhale. Fear clutched her heart as he shook his head. The bitter swam back and in its place formed simple remorse.

"No...I'm sorry."

She could feel it. The way he brightened at her words. She felt it too. Her hardened features dropped to that of the face of the girl he left behind to fend for herself in the great, big bad world. "I guess I forgot."

"This thing...you can't forget."

He winced. The reaction was evil. She thrust his protecting hands away. Anger only flowed through her. "What is that supposed to mean? I forgot! I always forget. I am littered with broken promises and a life I can't keep. So tell me, what -can't- I forget?"

She wasn't helping. The emotion was then balanced with his own temper. "Do you think this was easy for me? To come here? Lay myself at your feet for forgiveness? I don't know Buffy, maybe it should be the other way around."

Buffy rose again, crestfallen. "I lay at no one's feet. I've already forgiven you. I never could hate you forever."

But he wasn't finished. Maybe it was the demon calling him, but now his focus was to destroy her emotions. It was the only way. She always came out victorious when given grief. And he hated himself for just that.

"You were born to hate me. Part of you does. We're not 'one' anymore."

Eyes cast themselves down to view shuffling feet. "You're wrong."

Off guard, she caught him. He had to leave it like this again. With the sour truth holding a young girl's shattered heart and soul. But he knew he would be back to pick up the pieces. For that he always would be. In a turn of the heel to the left, he went to that closed door, hand set on the knob. He took one glance at the poster and chanced looking back. Just one more picture of a forlorn girl.

"I don't like the poster."

Satisfied with the confused mien she gave, he departed with one more lasting phrase that brought her hope.

"I'll be around."

The door was shut soundly behind him. She forgot again. Nothing happened. All the memories ran away.

--

part two

No energy ran through her body as she trudged through the cemetery. As usual. It was too "early" anyway for new vampires to rise. Those that already had were now seeking shelter from dawn. Except for the two creatures approaching her and the two behind. No she didn't have energy for this. But quirky remarks were never necessary in a routine patrol anyway.

Two quick solid-planned moves accompanied by a stake dusted the first vampire. Retracting the wood from its falling ashes she sent it back behind her to catch another between the ribs. It was approaching with its gone unnoticed friend. So she still had an easy two left. Then the game heightened in difficulty. Grabbed from behind, arms were pinned and kicking legs gave no aid.

And it was then that he helped. One hand clutched around a lampost no more than a foot away and one shoe used for leverage; he swung around the poll and sent a powerful kick into the nearest vampire foes' head. It went sprawling forward, knocking both Slayer and vampire to the ground. She disentangled herself from the demon and readied herself to stake it when one clear word cut through the growling.

"Duck!"

Obediently, she crouched down. She felt something hit her. Inside, that is to say. She found help. She found trust. And as she looked behind her, all she saw was Angel running towards the one remaining vampire. Lids closed simulataneously as she fought an inner battle. She escaped into her own wonderland, lost only in the horror of realizations. And everything clicked. His hand set itself gently on her shoulder and as her eyes opened, she covered what was given with her own hand.

"Are you with us?" His own shy smile gained a sheepish giggle. He seemed pleased. "Now that's not something you hear everyday."

"Me either."

"You've gone through a lot."

The reply was easy. "Apparently not enough."

"You've changed," he offered. He wasn't going to bring her back with force. She was winning this one just fine on her own.

"Too much."

"It's healthy."

"Not for me."

"Are you sure you're all right?" He had to question her. All that he was feeling and gathering from her could very well be hopes gone too high.

"I think I finally am."

Pride shimmered through crimson tiers. He understood, now. "Good."

She turned slowly, still crouched and allowed him to pull her up to her feet. Only this time it was literally.

"Thank you."

"I have a confession to make."

She didn't seem phased. "Go on."

"I met Riley."

"Did you kill him?"

"Well, no." She tried not to giggle at his rueful tone.

"Then there's nothing left to say."

He traced over the gash on her forehead, mentally kicking himself for missing it before. "I guess not."

She grasped his hand. "We'll make it. We just have to be strong."

"And we will. Just don't go marrying anyone on me..."

She began to back off, a grin settling itself on her glowing face. "How could I? That'd mean I'd have to divorce you. I can't do that. It's against my religion."

He laughed. And they parted their separate roads until they would cross again. That next time together, when she would be safe.

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