DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, I don't want them, they make me cry too much. Joss and his people do the owning thing
TIMELINE: Right after Restless.
SPOILERS: Everything on both shows to be safe.
DISTRIBUTION: Great, just let me know where.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: A modern day fairy story.
FEEDBACK: Yes please.
RATING: PG for now.

Prologue.

Once upon a time in a land far, far away lived a beautiful princess with hair the colour of sunshine.

*****

Part one.

SUNNYDALE.

Buffy had often wondered what her death would be like; it wasn't morbid curiosity that brought out these thoughts. It was because, ever since she had learned she was the Slayer, Buffy had expected death to come early; she also expected it to be painful.

She was right on both counts.

Buffy pulled her broken body up onto her hands and knees, slowly adjusting her breathing to accommodate for the wave after wave of pain now flooding her whole system.

Turning her head slightly, she glanced at the defeated creature she had just fought to the death realising, sadly, that it had also been her own death.

The pain in her head turned into a dull throbbing and a warm, sticky, flow of fresh blood now seeped through the light material of her trousers.

Buffy watched in fascination as the deep red stain slowly spread, snaking down the inside of her thigh.

She pulled herself to her feet and leaned heavily against the wall.

She would not die in a sewer no matter how much it hurt, Buffy was determined to get out of there. Sewers were bad places, nothing good ever happened in sewers.

Pulling herself along the dirty slimy walls, inch by painful inch, she finally reached the surface. Next, she made the grass verge; if only she could get home, she kept repeating to herself, get home to say goodbye. Just let her mother and her friends know what had happened to her.

Buffy tried, with what little strength she had left, to make it to the roadside - only a few more feet to go.... She felt her legs stumble and then it was as if she was travelling in slow motion.

Death was watching her, laughing at her, waiting for her.

"Here it comes", Buffy thought as the darkness wrapped its arms around her, she greeted it calmly. She was the Slayer after all she wouldn't panic.

As the coldness seeped in to her very soul she thought of Angel, his beautiful brown eyes, his soft tender mouth, the way she felt when he touched her. It wasn't her life that was flashing in front of her eyes it was all the memories she shared with Angel. She held on tightly to a picture of his eyes and death didn't frighten her any longer. She only felt sadness and loss.

With the last of her strength exhausted, she lay her head down on the cool damp grass and felt her eyes slowly close, her breath now reduced to short, sharp, gasps.

"I love you, Angel" she whispered as the darkness almost won its battle.

Then there was a bright light. Buffys' last conscious thought was....

Is this heaven?

Part 2

Two years later...

With the *End of days* defeated and the hell mouth closed for ever Sunnydale had become a much quieter town.

****

The party.

"So good to see you again Mr. Giles and how is the new slayer working out?" Wesley held out his hand.

Giles shook it and smiled "Fine, she's working out just fine."

"I must say she looks a little young, then again that must be a blessing from what I remember, it's so much easier with the training " Wesley reminisced.

"Yes, yes indeed, although she is in fact leaving for England at the end of the month, seems a new hell mouth has opened, a new watcher has been assigned " Giles looked over at the young girl, she was still only fourteen and the responsibilities she held were truly frightening.

" A slayers' life is never easy"

Wesley agreed, he then carried on talking but Giles' thoughts had already turned away from the conversation. His eyes held that far away look that always appeared when he thought of the last slayer, the daughter he would never have, oh how he missed Buffy. He realised Wesley was still talking to him and he forced himself back to reality.

" Will Angel be attending the party? " Giles tried to change the subject.

" No, I'm afraid that Angel couldn't make it, so very busy at the moment, not fighting demons anymore of cause, lots of divorce cases and such" The truth was that even after two years Angel still couldn't face returning to Sunnydale, it held too many memories for him.

"And how is he coping with his new found humanity?" Giles carried on with the conversation; at least they had stopped talking about Buffy.

"He seems to be adjusting........ quite well, he doesn't share very much, some things never change." Wesley gave a small smile, then carried on "He still keeps a lot inside, especially since Buffys death....." Wesley stopped, seeing the terrible look of grief appear in Rupert Giles face.

" I think we all suffer in our own way" Giles added quietly.

Wesley viewed the older man with understanding, then asked" And Mrs. Summers, how is she?"

Giles removed his glasses then rubbed the bridge of his nose slowly as he thought about Wesleys' question.

" Poor Joyce, I guess she felt it harder than anybody, it was never finding the body that hurt the most, then the police closed the case as just another runaway. We all tore the town apart looking for her and even then we held onto the hope that Buffy was............. but, when the new slayer was called, we had to accept it was hopeless. With Faith still alive it could have only meant one thing, Buffy was never coming back." Giles glanced over at Joyce; the woman had aged ten years

" It was good of her to travel back for the party, she lives in N.Y these days, couldn't face living with the ghosts I expect" Giles eyes misted over.

" I think we both need a drink Rupert", this time it was Wesley that changed the subject.

Giles gave a weak smile "Why not after all this is supposed to be a party, oh it looks like they're about to cut the cake......."

*****

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you......." A large circle of family and friends gathered around and sang happily, everybody joined in except the birthday girl and her closest friends.

"I still can't believe that Buffy's not here " Willow sighed sadly, as she leant over to blow out the candles.

"I think you're supposed to make a wish now " Oz softly kissed her head, he knew how much pain his lover was in. Willow hadn't wanted this party, none of the old Scooby gang had felt like celebrating their 21st birthdays, knowing their friend had never reached hers. But life had gone on and now, after two years, they were each making the best path forward they could.

" I don't believe in wishes anymore" Willow whispered sadly

Oz just nodded, he saw no reason to push the subject any further.

Later that night Willow stood saying goodbye to her quests. As parties go it had been a success, but she was relieved it was now over, she wanted to get back to her nice safe life as soon as possible. As much as she loved seeing all her old friends it was true to say that they had drifted apart this last year, without Buffy to hold them together they had all headed off on their own.

Now with her party over Willow and Oz would be going to Europe for six months.

She glanced over at Xander, her closest childhood friend, she now loved him like the brother she had never had. He was involved in a deep conversation with Cordelia; a sight unthinkable a few years earlier even more unthinkable was that Anya was more than happy to just leave them to it. Xander and Anya were now so comfortable with their relationship that all, long ago, jealousies were forgotten.

Willow watched Cordelia laugh at one of Xanders lame jokes and she smiled. To an outsider they both looked like they didn't have a care in the world. Only Willow knew the pain they still felt over the loss of their friend, because that same loss still haunted her.

"Are you ready to leave yet?" Oz's gentle voice broke into her thoughts "

The band had packed away and there was only a handful of guests lingering on.

"I just want to say goodbye to Cordelia and Wesley" Her eyes caressed him with a gentle promise.

Oz didn't need anymore words to understand, he had always been able to read her every expression.

" So are you heading back to L.A tonight? Willow asked.

Cordelia looked at Wesley and he nodded his head. "I'm afraid so, we really can't leave Angel on his own too long, research and all that you know............"

"He gets lonely " Cordelia replied more truthfully.

" I really wish he was here tonight, we all miss him so much " Willows eyes misted. She felt as if she had lost two friends the night Buffy died.

Cordelia once again checked with Wesley before speaking."Maybe it's better he didn't......he's changed a lot. Not just the humanity, .........he had to let her go once and for all, the blame and grief was tearing him apart so now it's like Buffy never existed for him, he's even dating again," Cordelia stopped, seeing the look of horror in Willows' eyes.

" Yes, well, I think we better be going now, thank you again Willow" Wesley escorted Cordelia out of the room.

Xander walked over."You O.K Will?" he asked with concern, noticing the frown on his friends face.

" It's just something Cordy told me, took my breath away for a moment"

"You mean about ex deadboy dating? Bit of a shocker I agree but, then again, he has only just got his life back Will. How can you expect him to throw it all away again, nobody should grieve forever, should they? " Xander asked softly.

Willow stared at him as if seeing him for the very first time.Xander was defending Angel; tonight it was one shock after another.

"Poor Buffy, she would have been devastated by all this"

Xander thought hard for a moment then replied." Then maybe things are better as they are, I mean how would Buffy have coped if she had still been dating Riley when Angel received his humanity? I'll tell you it would have torn her apart trying to do the right thing by both of them. I guess there really is a reason for everything, if nothing else it saved her all that pain and confusion." He finished, hoping Willow understood what he was trying so hard to explain.

"When did you grow so wise?" she smiled and hugged him

Xander laughed."I used to be such a jerk, no don't agree to that" he laughed again and then continued " I think I just stopped feeling so angry, I let it all go, maybe I just grew up full stop." He returned the hug.

"Oh! speaking of Riley, did you hear he got married, looks like he moved on pretty well too, looks like everyone just did the moving on thing."

Willow felt so sad, nothing was the same anymore, the hellmouth was closed, Riley married, Angel dating and Buffy dead. Her whole world had changed so much in such a short time.

"Life tends to do that, the moving thing, we can't stop it we just have to move along with it. There will never be another Buffy, not for any of us, but that was the past we have to think of the future now" he kissed her hair softly.

Part 3

"ANGEL are you still in bed? You better get your sorry ass out of there, right this instant!"Cordelia flew into the room like a mini tornado. Almost stumbling in the darkness, she made her way across the room and pulled open the drapes.

"God it stinks in here! Now that you're alive again it wouldn't hurt to let in a little sunlight..." she wrinkled up her nose, "and a lot of fresh air"

Turning back, she picked up a pair of discarded trousers followed by a wrinkled shirt, you *so* need to get yourself a clean...WHO ARE YOU?"

The girl lying by Angel's side slid one very long leg over the side of the bed; she lent down and gathered up the remnants of her clothing.

"Hi, I'm afraid he's still out for the count, had quiet a long night and he got a little bit..."

"STINKING DRUNK?" Cordelia finished for her.

"Yep, stinking drunk will cover it." The girl laughed as she pulled what could almost pass for a dress over her shapely figure, Cordelias' eyes never leaving her for a second. Then finally repeating the question "And you are? "

"Me, oh sorry didn't I say? No of course I didn't, I'm Candy, we met last night at the E club. What's his name again?" The girl turned and looked back at the unconscious, naked, body still lying in the bed she had just vacated.

Cordelia glared at her "What's his name?" she muttered under her breath as her anger grew, the dumb bitch couldn't even remember his name.

"ANGEL, his name is Angel" she answered coldly.

Candy appeared to take no offence at Cordelia's manner, she just gave the same sickly smile. "Yes that's it. Well, Angel honey asked me to stay over since he was too wasted to drive and how could I refuse, seeing as he is such a hottie and..... you're not his wife are you?" The girl suddenly took a closer look at Cordelia; she saw the expression on her face and feared that this could turn nasty.

"No I'm not his wife, sometimes I feel like his mother." Cordelia raised her eyes, finally running out of patience.

"Mother? Yes, right, well I'll be on my way now." Picking up her shoes, the dishevelled Candy headed towards the door.

"Maybe that's for the best" Cordelia replied sarcastically

On reaching the door the girl threw a backwards glance and, as an afterthought, asked "I left my number by the bed, tell him to give me a call sometime?"

She gave Cordelia one last sickly smile and walked out of the door.

"Sure, no problem" Cordelia muttered, then turned her attention to the still sleeping Angel, softly snoring happily in oblivion.

Angel gingerly opened his eyes, noticing how light the room was he pulled the sheet quickly over his head then lowered it again, remembering he was now human and that sunlight could no longer hurt him.

He was to be proven wrong. As the daylight passed behind his bloodshot eyes, pain attacked every nerve in his body.

"Good morning boss and how are you feeling?" Cordelia's voice was too loud and way too sweet. She then walked over and pulled the sheet off his head.

Angel squeezed his eyes closed tighter, trying desperately to keep out the deadly light. Holding his head in his hands, he first made a few grumbling noises then finally turning them into English he moaned. "I think I'm dead " self pity poured through each word.

" No Angel, you're hung over, that's the feeling that tells you you're not dead, so get your pathetic ass out of that bed NOW!" Cordelia's last strand of patience snapped.

"Do you have to be so loud?" he pleaded as the new demons in his head danced without pity.

"Do you have to get so stinking drunk? Angel you missed that appointment again, there's no more work, there's no more money." Cordelia's anger slowly subsided.

"Oh...... Guess I better apologise, but later, now my head hurts"

Angel turned over, only then noticing how empty his bed was.

"When you first came in here was there......er....?" he stopped.

" A bimbo with a bad dye job and the I.Q of a daffodil? Sorry, she left. Asked you to call her... if you can remember her name that is?" Cordelia finished the last part under her breath.

Angel's expression informed her that he'd heard, as if she cared.

"Right... er didn't leave her name by any chance?" he asked hopefully, casting her his little boy lost look. Hey, it had worked in the past.

This time it failed.

She shook her head and sighed. Pulling up a chair she sat down, her face filling with concern, she then looked right at him. "Angel, we really need to talk about this, ever since you regained your humanity it's like..." she shook her head in bewilderment. "What happened? You're granted something you always wanted and yet you seem hell bent on throwing it all away. You're burning the candle at both ends and you're still not happy."

Angel pulled himself up, ignoring his semi nakedness, he just shrugged his shoulders and hung his head." Just trying to catch up on all the things I've missed " When he looked up at her again there was a forced smile on his handsome face.

" You have to slow down, all this clubbing and one night stands. It's too much too soon, what would Buffy think...?" Cordelia stopped immediately, realising her mistake, as a flash of intense pain passed over his blood shot eyes, then just as quickly it was hidden.

" I don't want to talk about that, it's over, leave the past in the past Cordelia, I have." His voice was hardly more than a whisper.

" Angel I think you *so* need to talk about it but I will not push you. There would be no point, not when you're like this." She got up from the chair but she hadn't finished with him yet.

"You can't leave it like this, there has to be closure before you can truly start your new life. You're not going to live forever any longer Angel and you're running out of time"

She waited but he made no reply.

Cordelia knew the discussion was finished with for now, Angel pulled the sheet back over his head with a groan. Closing the drapes, she left Angel to his hangover and his pain.

Two hours later.

Wesley handed Angel his third mug of black coffee. "Did you apologise to Hardcastle? Do we still have the case?"

Head hung over his coffee Angel muttered a simple "yes" to the first part of the question and "no" to the last"

"What did he say? " Wesley pushed on and waited for an answer.

Angel finally looked up at his friend and suddenly laughed. "You really don't want to know" he stopped when the pain hit his head.

" What are we going to do with you?" Wesley and Cordelia exchanged looks.

" I give up, what's the answer?" ignoring the pain, Angel laughed again.

Go to Part 4