Part Five

**Who are you?**

Buffy ran, she didn't know where she was going and she didn't care. Her blood was on fire, as it rushed through her veins at a thousand miles an hour, roaring its outrage into her ears. Her small feet pounded along the crowded pavement as her flailing arms pushed out at anything that dared to stand in her way. People in her path soon stepped back when they realised that she had no intention of stopping, if they didn't move they feared the deranged looking woman would go straight through them. They weren't wrong.

Buffy was running blind, there was only one thought seeping through her mind as her chest began to ache with the exertion…...She needed to put as much distance between herself and that alley way as was humanly possible.

**Who are you?** the rich husky voice inside her head just wouldn't let her go, it clung on to her memory like ivy, continually twisting it's torment.

**I'm Buffy, the vampire slayer.... AKA the chosen one.... I'm the bitch that sent you to hell.... I'm the one girl in 243 years.... I'm nobody.........I'm the girl that will love you forever** Buffy's heart sadly cried back, but she knew it would never make a difference.

** I'm the girl you must never remember **

With that last thought taking over from all the others, Buffy ran until the rational part of her brain screamed * That's enough* *its safe to stop* *nobody chasing you, dammit*

Gasping for breath and holding the stitch that was burning her side, she stopped.

The running was now out of her system but, the trouble was, by then it was already too late. Looking at her surroundings, Buffy discovered to her horror that she was hopelessly lost. She then made another discovery, somewhere on her flight to escape she had dropped her bag, meaning her keys, money, cell phone, driving license, and all her personal belongings were now long gone. Luckily her passport and ticket home were locked away in the hotel safe; the loss of those items would have caused serious problems, especially as she knew she would be heading for home the second she found the hotel.

When she finally came to her senses, Buffy found herself standing on an unknown street, in a strange country, in the middle of night. Without her bag she had no money, no phone and no way of calling for help. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Lost and desperately alone, the floodgates that had been holding back the dam of her desperation burst open, causing Buffy to sob her heart out. Her small frame shook violently as all the pent up rage, confusion; loss and unfairness of the last five years bubbled to the surface and erupted into an explosion of uncontrollable weeping.

Passers-by immediately stepped across the street to avoid the traumatised woman; compassion after all, was a thing of the past.

With no more tears left to cry the exhausted Slayer sat down on a small garden wall jutting out from behind her and dropped her head in her hands.

Buffy was tired, not everyday tired, not jet lagged tired, Buffy Summers was *stop this life I want to get out* tired. She couldn't believe that TPTB had been so fucking evil. After making the most difficult decision of her life and letting Angel go, they waited five years and then dangled him on a piece of string, right in front of her eyes but always out of her reach.

**That was the Buffy and Angel Show all over, one of them was always just out of reach.**

Sitting there in the dark feeling totally forgotten, the Slayer found herself making futile wishes.

She wished the meteorite had hit the earth five years ago as she slept in the arms of her lover. She wished she could be sixteen years old again but, this time with hindsight, she wished for one more day with her dear friend Willow but, more than anything, she wished that when Angel had turned to her in that alley tonight and asked *who are you* she could have replied *I'm the girl that died inside the day you were reborn, I'm Buffy Anne Summers and I love you* But wishes didn't come true, not for Buffy, not ever for Buffy.

"Miss, are you all right?" a quiet female voice asked as Buffy felt a soft hand brush lightly against her left shoulder. Looking up, Buffy notice a smartly dressed middle aged woman in her early fifties, with a face filled with concern looking back at her.

"Are you hurt? Did somebody hurt you?" the gentle voice asked again, clearly distressed for the younger woman's plight.

Without knowing why Buffy found herself replying.

"I dropped my bag, and I'm lost and....." **my heart's in a million pieces** she silently added, but knew this was not the time or the place. The kindly woman didn't need to hear her problems.

"You're an American, I recognise the accent. I have a son living there, he's out in New Mexico at the moment." The woman stopped when she saw that the girl wasn't really listening.

"Let me help you? Just tell me what do you need?"

At this sudden unexpected kindness Buffy felt fresh tears blurring her vision.

"I need to get back to my hotel, I'll be safe there. Giles will know what to do" she whispered more to herself than her good Samaritan.

"Do you know what the hotel's called? What street it's on?" again the gentle concern shone out like a beacon in the night.

Buffy nodded slowly getting to her feet, she was beginning to feel slightly foolish telling her troubles to a stranger but, somehow she got the feeling that this motherly figure really seemed to care.

"Good, then we don't have a problem any more" the woman raised her hand and brought the passing black cab to an abrupt halt. Guiding Buffy forward, she opened the back door and watched as the small blonde girl almost disappeared into the large leather seat. She then pulled a twenty-pound note from her purse and passed it to the driver.

"I think she's had a bit of a shock, get her home as soon as possible" she nodded and then turned back towards Buffy

"Tell him where you need to go, you'll be there in no time at all" the woman then started to close the door. Buffy reached out and touched her hand.

"How can I ever thank you?" she whispered in genuine gratitude at the unexpected kindness. Buffy realised that she didn't even know the stranger's name or where she could return the money.

"There's no need for thanks, you take care of yourself" the door was quickly closed and the cab drove off.

Maria Temple watched until the black cab was completely out of sight before turning for home. It was strange, she was never usually out this time of night and she rarely walked this way home.

** It must have been fate** she smiled as she thought of her good deed. The girl had looked so lost and so frightened that she really had no choice but to help her. As she walked to her front door, Marie's mind was working overtime.

**She was a pretty little thing too, too bad she was only here for a visit. ** Always happy to play cupid, Marie had already decided that the girl would have been a great match for her boss….* Liam*

****

Giles was having the most wonderful dream. A beautiful red headed woman was feeding him grapes and softly caressing his chest while he quoted passages from Wordsworth, Keats and Shelley. In the background the soft strumming of a classical guitar only added to the perfection of his restful slumber. Even as he lay there, Giles knew he was dreaming, but that didn't matter, he was still happy to be pampered by the illusion. That was until something resembling World War Three broke into his bliss.

The pounding coming from his door was enough to wake not only him but also the dead in the cemetery five miles down the road. That was a thought he didn't want to consider, luckily they hadn't encountered a vampire for the whole of their visit.

"Alright, alright keep your hair on" Giles swung his legs over the side of his bed and after dropping his feet into his slippers, he reached hastily for his dressing gown. The small lights flashing from the clock on his bedside cabinet read 1.45am.

Buffy rushed into the room in a whirlwind of blind panic

"Good lord, what on earth is the matter?" Giles watched in amazement as she dashed past him and threw open the closet door. Pulling his large suitcase from the top shelf, Buffy proceeded to drag her Watcher's clothing from its hangers and pack his case.

"We have to get out of here. TONIGHT" there was urgency in her voice that left him with little doubt that something was dreadfully wrong.

Giles immediately crossed the room and when Buffy made no attempt to stop her packing, he grabbed her arms and pulled her towards him.

"What happened?" a small particle of fear was already slipping down the back of his spine as he looked deep into her troubled eyes. These were not the eyes of a few hours ago, the last time he had witnessed pain as raw as this was…**Oh dear God**

"Angel" Buffy whispered the word that Giles' brain had already suspected.

"That's impossible" Giles replied with his head but just from the look on Buffy's face he knew that it wasn't.

"Did he see you?"

Buffy thought back to how Angel had pinned her up against the alley wall, how the cold brick work had pressed into her back as his hot tongue had ravished her willing mouth.

**Did he see you**

She slowly nodded her head

"I think you can take that as guaranteed."

"Did he recognise you?"

Buffy shrugged her shoulders; she had no idea what was going through Angel's mind when he had almost ravished her into the cold hard wall. Secretly she hoped that on some level that he had known it was her, that his soul had unknowingly reached out in the darkness for its mate. The alternative was too awful to comprehend, the alternative was that Angel had turned into some kind of pervert, somebody that followed women into dark places and… that was something she could never accept.

** Her Angel would never have done that** she angrily defended the man she would always love. A chilling voice struck her right back

**BUT…He's not your Angel anymore**

Giles picked up the hotel phone and asked for an outside line, when the dialling tone came on his fingers quickly pressed the buttons

"Who are you calling?" Buffy asked running a tired hand through her tangled hair.

"The airport. We need to get out of here as soon as possible, we have to find out what this all means and then we have to deal with the consequences."

*****

Angel knew Wesley was home by the slamming of the front door.

"Well, what happened to you? I waited for hours…." Wesley's annoyed voice trailed off at the sight of their living room. There were phone books and torn out pages everywhere.

"Wh..... What on earth" he stuttered slightly as he looked around the room. Something had managed to get his friend/cousin extremely flustered.

"You're quite sure there's nobody staying at the hotel with that name?" Angel's face frowned with disappointment as he hung up the receiver and tore out yet another sheet from the yellow pages. Crushing the useless paper in his large fist, he threw it across the room with temper. There were so many Hotels in London he knew that this was going to take forever. He suddenly understood that old expression *pissing in the wind*

"I met a girl" he offered up the only explanation for missing their meal. By then, he was already dialing the next number on the new page and drumming his fingers with impatience.

"So what's all this litter for, are you planning a paper chase?" Wesley couldn't resist the small snigger that slipped over his lips. He had never seen *Liam* act so irrationally before. He'd never known Liam show that much interest in a girl before and, after that nightmare last night, Wesley believed that this new girl couldn't have come at a better time.

"Come on, pick up the phone, damn you" Angel demanded impatiently as the ringing went unanswered.

"I lost her and I'm trying to find her again" he muttered back at Wesley's stupid question before being drawn back to his call.

"Yes, hello. I'm trying to find out if you have a Miss Summers staying at your hotel. That's right, S.u.m.m.e.r.s. first name is Buffy"

Wesley felt as if he had stepped into the twilight zone, any moment now the haunting music would start playing and the room would fade to black and white.

As Angel replaced the receiver with fresh disappointment, Wesley knew he had to speak, he just didn't know what to say.

"What do you mean you lost her?"

"This is going to sound insane, but " Angel didn't even know where to start he was still having difficulty trying to believe it himself.

"Do you remember that girl I told you I dreamed about last night?"

Wesley nodded; he remembered that dream only too well. An icy feeling resembling frostbite started gnawing away at his toes.

"I was walking down the street on my way to meet you, and there she was, as large as life" Angel's whole face came alive as he smiled.

**Have we met? **

**My names Liam and you are?**

**WAIT!**

The smile didn't last.

"And then she was gone, but she dropped her bag and this fell out" he held up an American driving license with a small picture of Buffy clearly in the corner. Wesley almost swallowed his tongue

** What the hell was she doing here in London?**

"Liam, the woman is clearly a tourist, just another American over to see the *Changing of the Guard*. It sounds to me like you've been working too hard at the office. You see a pretty girl in the street and you think she's the same as this gypsy dream nonsense. Can you hear yourself for God's sake? It's preposterous. " Wesley replied desperately clutching at straws.

But Angel wasn't buying it

"She was the same girl. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. And what's more, I'm sure she knew me too "

**She had to have known me the way her arms had slipped so perfectly around my neck**

Wesley's frostbite was now travailing up his legs with the speed of light

"You didn't. Tell me you didn't pester this poor woman"

**Dear God. Poor Buffy** he would never know how he kept the panic from his voice.

Angel stood very still as he remembered the fear in those breath-taking eyes. **She had looked so upset and...**

"She ran" he whispered sadly.

**Ran was the understatement of the year. The girl took off so fast she could have taken the one hundred metres gold medal at the Olympic games**.

With that last statement Wesley felt the feeling return to his legs

**Buffy had run, the damage wasn't that bad** He knew by now that the Slayer would be on the first flight out of the country. Buffy knew the consequences only too well, she would never risk another encounter.

"Well, if you just want to return her bag I can drop it into the police station for you " Wesley offered quickly, hoping there was nothing more incriminating inside.

Angel picked up the driving license and gently ran his finger over the blurred picture; it really didn't do her justice.

**His Angel**

No matter what Wesley had said, he knew it was the same girl. Running his eyes lovingly over the photo he committed her name not only to his memory but, also to his heart.

**Buffy Anne Summers…** The name sang sweetly as it flowed through his veins.

Angel handed Wesley the bag, but palmed the licence. He then made himself a promise.

**No matter what, he was going to find this girl if it was the last thing he ever did.**

Part Six

"I do hope I'm doing this right?" Giles' forehead crinkled into small lines of concentration as he read from an ancient book held in one hand, while scattering a fist full of herbs with the other.

"We beseech access to the knowing ones" he called out as a lighted match was added to the blend. A flash of brilliance ignited the herbs and instantly the porthole to the other dimension was opened. Giles blinked uncomfortably at the intensity of light coming from the other world and placed an apprehensive hand on the Slayer's small arm

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he turned to Buffy but, sadly, already knew the answer to his question. There was a deep-set resolve imprinted clearly over her tired eyes, a resolve that spoke out loud and clear. Nothing on earth could stop her.

The flight home had been extremely difficult. Within seconds of the plane taking off, Buffy had feigned a deep sleep, Giles accepted that this was her way of avoiding any more difficult questions and he let the masquerade continue all the way to LA.

**Besides, this whole mess was all his fault** Giles was consumed with guilt for bringing the girl to England in the first place, he should have known better than to have taken such stupid risks. Even though he truly believed that Angel was safely out of the country, he should have realised that he was tempting the hands of fate by bringing Buffy across the ocean.

**Fate had never played fair where Buffy was concerned**0 he looked into the shattered face of the girl *sleeping* in the next seat and mentally kicked himself for his stupidity.

Giles knew he had gambled heavily with fate and had lost. Because of his carelessness, he was being forced to pay the price and watch the surrogate daughter he loved so dearly suffer all over again. Only in some ways, this was far worse. The first time Buffy had let Angel go, it had been for an honourable reason, and although it had almost killed her, she had managed to do it with her head held high. The last thing she had ever expected was to have to do it all over again. Giles' worse fear was that Buffy wasn't strong enough to walk away twice. Not walk away and survive intact that was.

The long journey continued in silence and, by the time they had reached LA, Buffy had already determined her next move. After grabbing one of Angel's old books and paying a quick visit to the local magic store, the enraged Slayer and her loyal watcher headed straight for the Post Office sewers.

*****

**We beseech access to the knowing ones**

Buffy hated that goddamn flash of light, it always left her feeling slightly disorientated, and that made her vulnerable.

**Both these feelings really pissed her off** and In her present state of mind, that alone could've been fatal.

Taking her anger in both hands, she marched forcefully into the bright marble chamber, raring for a fight.

"Come before us, Slayer. What have you brought us?" the female Oracle was there in an instant, her pale blue eyes flickering over the troubled human.

**What have *I* bought you** The slayer's wrath multiplied with each arrogant word, she folded her arms across her chest as her fingers itched to rip the Oracle's smug painted head off its shoulders.

"How about a fistful of Buffy, if don't get the right answers?" she replied dangerously, her large hazel eyes flashing the extent of her hatred.

Buffy could feel the tension flowing all around her, it was so potent it almost crackled in the air above.

At that point the male Oracle joined its' sister and the two higher beings turned and faced each other.

"She is still so full of rage" the male spoke ignoring Buffy completely. The very fact that the Slayer had once again forced her presence before them was far too irksome for their liking.

"Some things never change" the sister haughtily agreed. Neither Oracle showed any surprise at the Slayer's presence, in fact it seemed they had almost anticipated the visit.

Buffy was almost spitting venom she was so angry with their apparent lack of interest

**Some things never change?**

"Oh, you got that one wrong" her voice dripped in sarcasm at the irony. **Things had changed big time**

The Oracles both turned their expressionless eyes towards the Slayer, neither making any attempt to question her statement

"Five years ago you made me a promise, you said that if I let Angel go he would live a perfect life with no memories of the past. " Buffy's own hazel orbs stared straight back, with a look so cold it could have frozen time itself.

"And he is" this time the Oracles defended themselves. Liam Price was living an almost perfect life, just as they had foretold.

"The memories of Angelus can never return, the crimes have been washed clean from his soul." the male added for extra confirmation.

Buffy moved slowly forward, her whole body was buzzing with pent up emotion, just longing for an excuse to open the release valve and blow.

"So how do you explain what happened in that alley way in London? Does this perfect life include turning my lover into a crazed stalker that jumps on women for no apparent reason?" she blazed back at them barely holding temper

**How many other girls had he… Stop… Bad visual**

"What happened between the two of you in that alley way has nothing to do with the existence we created for Angel. We washed the soul clean of all the demon's crimes but traces of the soul's heart remained. Traces we have no power over and, if left alone, these traces would have stayed dormant for the rest of his natural life"

"I don't understand" Buffy hated how these creatures always spoke in riddles. **Either Angel remembered or he didn't, and what the hell was a trace?**

"His soul was unknowingly reaching for yours, Angel doesn't have any memories of you but he can still feel you. In its' truest form, real love can never be forgotten, it's the strongest emotion in the whole universe and it leaves it's mark on the soul. That was the trace of emotion we couldn't remove. When you were thrown together the soul recognised its mate and tried to reach out for it"

Buffy felt a deep sense of relief that it was indeed her soul that Angel had reached for and not just a body. But the relief was quickly pushed aside by anger, somebody had to pay for the pain she was suffering

"You should have warned me this could happen." she knew the moment the words passed her lips that the argument was pointless What could she have possibly done to prevent it?. There was always the slightest possibility that one day their paths could accidentally cross again, it was after all a very small world.

For the first time the Oracles actually looked flustered.

"We didn't see it coming. A gypsy blessing has been attached to his soul, It had enough power to awaken his deepest emotions and disturb those traces we couldn't remove" The Oracles reluctantly admitted their failure.

"Gypsy?" Buffy voice wavered slightly at the implications.

"He saved a life and received a Romany blessing. The new life we inlaid for Angel has now drastically altered direction. This soul is now following an identical cycle to his past life. The gypsy blessing has started this cycle and it can't be stopped. Meeting you, loving you… "

"And let's not forget leaving me, that's what always happened next" Buffy interrupted bitterly. That was how the cycle always ended, she really didn't need that part spelled out for her.

**Angel always left**

"If that is his destiny, that is what will happen, you can not prevent it"

Buffy looked at both the Oracles without hiding the deep contempt she felt for their lies, despite all their promises they had messed up again.

**But no more**

Buffy was sick to death of the PTB screwing with her life. Taking a deep breath she vowed it was time to take her destiny into her own hands

**Nobody would ever hurt her again**

"You're wrong, I can prevent it and what's more, I will"

*****

"Buffy? What did they say?" Giles' voice was so full of love and concern that Buffy just wanted to sink into his arms and hide from the world.

"Cliff notes version, it's all been for nothing, the last five years of hell, everything, for nothing." Buffy bit her bottom lip determined not to cry. Tears had no part in the new Buffy's make up, tears were a thing of the past.

"But, but how can he possibly remember?" Giles asked, flabbergasted that the Oracles could have gone back on their word.

Buffy shrugged her shoulders, no matter what the Oracles had explained, none of it made any sense to her. Angel would never remember her and yet he was destined to find her.

"It seems yet another cosmic fuck up has started the ball rolling all over again and, here's the best part, it's heading my way. It's called *let's rewind and play out all the heartache again*" Buffy laughed but the sound was almost hysterical in its' bitterness

"Angel is once again destined to find me, love me and.....Well, you know what comes next…." Buffy trailed off unable to continue.

Giles held the small girl in his arms and softly stroked her hair.

"Buffy, destinies are not always written in stone. Circumstances are different this time, who knows what the outcome will be" Giles offered as helpfully as possible. He hated to see such despair in those beautiful eyes. It just wasn't fair.

" Angel leaves, that's what he does, that's what he always does. It doesn't matter if he's a vampire or a human, in the end he can't help himself" Buffy sadly remembered the conversation she and Angel had shared the day they had laid in each others arms waiting for the meteorite to end the world. Angel had told her all about her own forgotten day. The day he had found himself human, the day the world had been theirs for the asking, only Angel gave it up albeit for her, but in the end he still gave it up.

Giles placed his hands on top of Buffy's shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes, past the pain, as if trying to connect with her very heart.

"It doesn't necessarily have to be that way again. You and Angel were never meant to find life easy, you were always expected to fight, maybe you still have a chance to fight for each other. I'm serious, Buffy. Destinies are not always written in stone" Giles replied truthfully and hoped with all his heart she understood his meaning.

Buffy sighed, but she simply didn't have enough strength left in her to believe any longer

"I wish with all my heart that was true. I want to believe in forever and soul mates and everything that accompanies that dream but, it will never happen. You seem to have forgotten one tiny thing, I'm allergic to happy endings"

*****

Four months later

Wesley pushed open the front door and rushed to answer the ringing phone.

"Cordelia, God it's good to hear your voice" he sighed sinking into the nearest chair. He was shattered, both physically and mentally and just the sound of Cordelia's sweet voice filled his heart with comfort.

"How's Angel doing?" Cordelia asked coming straight to the point.

She was far too worried these days for both of her friends to waste time with idle chit-chat.

The last four months had been hell on all of them, it was as if they were all sitting on a hidden time bomb and nobody knew the exact time of detention. Once again their lives had been thrown into complete chaos.

After returning from London, Buffy had decided she could no longer work for Angel Investigations. Cordelia and Gunn could hardly believe the change that had taken over the Slayer; it was almost too painful to watch. Buffy had closed down, she became cold and hard and built a high wall around herself guaranteeing that nobody would ever be able to touch her again. It was only after Giles had explained what the Oracles had foretold, that they finally understood the change. Buffy might not be able to stop Angel finding her, but she could prevent him from getting close. After making her decision to leave, Buffy had kissed her friends goodbye and returned to the only place on earth that she could possibly hope to find the support she would need. She was finally going home, back to Sunnydale where her family and friends would cocoon her and protect her from the outside world and more importantly, from Liam Price.

The only thought in Buffy's head as she drove the two hours back to Sunnydale with Giles, was that fate wouldn't break her heart a second time, she wouldn't give it the chance.

*****

"I just don't know what to do for the best anymore "

Cordelia immediately became concerned by the tone in the Englishman's voice. There was genuine despair hidden between his words.

"Angel's completely obsessed with finding Buffy, it's taken over his whole life. The dreams are becoming much stronger and clearer; it's as if they are draining the life out of him. He wakes up each morning exhausted and then spends the rest of the day trying to decipher their meanings. Of course, It's getting him nowhere and it's ripping him in two but he doesn't seem to care." Wesley shuddered as if a cold breeze had rushed over him but, it wasn't a nip in the air that had chilled him, it was the fear in his heart, fear that was increasing with each new day. Wesley knew only too well that something was about to break

"Giles has been helping me research and despite what the Oracles said, Angel knows that something is wrong. Of course, he'd heading in completely the wrong direction. The other week I caught him researching reincarnation and then I found a book he had hidden on schizophrenia....He's just so confused" Wesley closed his eyes and wondered what on earth to do next.

"This has got to stop"**Reincarnation** **schizophrenia** Cordelia sounded even more shocked as she took in this new information.

"I was hoping this obsession with finding Buffy would die out but its not, if anything it's getting worse. Angel's tormented and he doesn't understand why and dammit , it's not right. Wesley quickly brought his anger under control for fear of frightening Cordelia any further. When he continued it was in a much more rational tone.

"I wish I knew what to tell him, I wish I knew what would put his mind at ease" he exhaled with a deep rattle of frustration that nothing could prevent.

"Well, maybe it's time he was given the choice, maybe you should just tell him the truth?" the soft female voice made so much sense that Wesley wanted to cry with gratitude. He had been having the same thought for days but Giles, for his own reasons, was staunchly against the idea. One wanted to protect Buffy and the other was desperate to release Angel from his torment. The two Englishmen had argued the pros and cons for hours but still they couldn't agree. Now, sadly, a cold stalemate had resulted.

"I'm so worried, Cordelia. I haven't seen him for two days" Wesley replied sadly and thought for the hundredth time about going behind Giles' back and to hell with it.

**But what would you possibly say that would sound sane?** he repeatedly questioned. Turning his attention back to Cordelia, Wesley noticed that the line had gone very quiet; all he could hear was the sound of the woman's heavy breathing.

"Sweetheart, are you all right?" Wesley asked, feeling a slight panicking sensation as the silence continued.

When Cordelia finally returned to the phone her voice sounded strangely quiet.

" I think you can stop worrying about where Angel is, he's just about to walk though our door" came the very hushed reply.

Part Seven

Angel turned his hire car into a small side street and switched off the ignition. Running his hands through his hair; he sat quietly for a few minutes trying to make sense of the madness that, over the last four months, had consumed his life.

**What the hell was he doing still chasing this dead dream? ** He asked himself for what felt like the thousandth time that day.

Sitting there alone with his thoughts, Angel knew that he'd been asking that same question now for weeks. On one side of the coin he was desperate to put his life back on track, concentrate solely on his work at the museum and forget this mystery girl nonsense once and for all. But, every time he tried, the dreams returned with a vengeance. Angel was instantly haunted with images so breathtakingly beautiful that his resolve to find Buffy Summers became even stronger than before.

But despite the strength of his determination, he had failed and failed miserably. Weeks of long distance phone calls and continuous visits to the US embassy had resulted in nothing but dead ends and frustration. So, after four months of searching, the only information Angel had in his possession was that the girl in the picture lived and worked in LA.

**Los Angeles, a city he had never been to in his entire life.... A city that held the answers to his nightmares**

Angel was torn, torn between wanting to find the girl and wanting to rediscover some sort of peace of mind. These days, he had almost forgotten what it felt like to feel at peace with himself, what it felt like to wake up in the morning feeling refreshed and ready to face the challenges of a brand new day.

Nowadays when he woke each morning, he was already exhausted from the hours of cryptic dreams that spun around his subconscious night after night, refusing to release their hold on his soul.

The dreams had slowly changed direction and over the last few weeks they had been filled with images so horrific in their detail that he was almost afraid to close his eyes. Yet, in the middle of this madness he would always find her. Swirling slightly out of his reach, his fingers would stretch out and just as he was about to touch her, demons and darkness would rip her away from him. That's how it ended, night after night, beauty, demons and darkness. It was all insane.

Something had to give.

Something did.

Angel found himself sitting on a flight to Los Angeles before he even realised what he was doing. Phone calls were simply not enough, if he was ever going to find this girl and take back his life, he knew the only person that could do something about it, was him.

So, with nothing more to go on than a blurred photograph, a strange sounding name and the city of LA, he made the decision and went for it.

Struggling with a large complex street map, a city that drove on the wrong side of the road and a strong feeling of deja vu, Liam Price left the airport and started his search.

*****

Angel was lost, tired, hungry and extremely pissed off by the time he pulled his compact hire car off the main street and parked to re-check his map .

Looking out of the car's side window for directions, his eyes caught sight of a small office with a large silver angel hanging over the door's entrance. Drawn by curiosity, Angel left the car and walked across the pavement to take a closer look.

"Angel Investigations " he read the sign aloud and liked the way it sounded.

**Angel**

In his heart he knew that Buffy was somehow tied up with the name Angel, that much he was sure of.

**Angel Investigations.... Well if that wasn't an omen, nothing was**

Angel smiled, feeling that things might just be looking up after all. This place had a good feel about it, and maybe an American detective agency would have better luck finding Buffy Summers than he ever would.

Slipping his hand in his jacket pocket, Angel pulled out the small plastic card he carried with him everywhere he went. Gently stroking the fading features that were now printed on his heart, his lips twitched into the tiniest of smiles.

"Soon, beloved" he whispered softly as his thumb brushed over the flat surface of the card.

**Beloved**

Angel wondered where such a strange expression had come from, it was weird, because he had never used the word *Beloved* in his all life.

**The sooner this was over the better**

Angel pushed open the large glass door and walked in.

*****

Cordelia Chase would never know just how talented an actress she really was. Her performance was flawless as she ended her conversation with Wesley and calmly replaced the receiver. Not a single flicker of recognition crossed her beautiful features as she looked up, through long dark lashes, and smiled through her statutory greeting.

As the words left her lips she was torn between the desire to hug her friend with sheer joy after so many years apart, and the need to slap his face for putting Wesley through so much worry over the last few months. Cordelia resisted both urges and continued to play out the masquerade.

"Can I help you?"

Angel felt strangely at ease as he walked closer and held out his hand

"Hello, my name is Liam Price and I'd like to employ you to find somebody for me" he waited for a few seconds and when it became obvious that the young woman behind the desk was not going to return his greeting he lowered his hand feeling slightly embarrassed.

**So much for American hospitality** he thought as he studied the woman behind the desk. There was something about her eyes that fascinated him, Angel found the woman incredibly beautiful but there was no physical attraction, she wasn't Buffy, she was lovely but, she wasn't Buffy.

Cordelia looked at the outstretched hand and swallowed hard, making no attempt to move. She might have been playing the part of her life but even she couldn't risk touching his hand. The way her fingers were trembling at that moment would have been a dead give-away that something wasn't right.

"I'm afraid we don't do missing persons" her voice responded so normally that, for a second, she had serious doubts that she was the one speaking.

Unwittingly, Cordelia then found herself staring; she simply couldn't help it. For the very first time in all the years she had known Angel she noticed changes - subtle things - but there were definitely changes. And then it struck her; it was the sunlight enhancing his appearance, it reflected off his body lightening every aspect of his being.

That was the main difference, Angel now radiated light. His skin, his hair, even his clothes, were alive with a flash of vibrant colour.

And then there was his voice, it was the same rich husky tone but, he now spoke with an English accent. Her old friend might have only said a few words so far but it was very clear, Angel sounded a cross between Giles and Spike with a little Wesley thrown in for good measure. Cordelia resisted the smile that accompanied that thought. If Angel decided to stay in America that accent would definitely have to go.

"Excuse me?"

When she realised he had asked her a question Cordelia pulled her fascinated eyes away and turned back into the actress of the year.

"I thought the sign said investigations? So what do you investigate?" Angel asked looking back at the sign painted right across the window.

Cordelia chewed nervously on the pen in her hand as she considered her reply

"It's complicated" she started but decided that telling Angel anything more might be a mistake. Although he had been in the office now a full five minutes and she was sure by the look on his face that he clearly hadn't recognised her, Cordelia really didn't want to say anything more until she had checked back with Wesley and Gunn. She snapped her head up on realising that Angel had continued with his questions.

"Then maybe you could suggest somebody else that could help me, I need to find this girl" Angel opened his hand and offered a small photograph.

**Oh, shit** Cordelia silently muttered as the image of the one girl she could never help him find, came into view.

**Wesley hadn't told her that Angel now had a picture of Buffy** At that point Cordelia's brain went into overload, knowing that if they didn't offer to take the case, Angel would just turn around and find somebody else who would, and knowing their luck....

"Mr. Price, please take a seat, I'm sorry. Of course we can help you, let's get some details" she dropped down into her own seat and smiled until her cheeks hurt.

Thirty minutes later...

Cordelia picked up the phone and quickly dialed the number committed to memory.

"He's just left the office. No, of course I couldn't stop him leaving. What do you suggest, that I tie him up? He wants us to find Buffy for him. No, I didn't turn him down, I told him we'd take the case and then I gave him the address of a convenient Hotel, that way we know where he is and what he is doing" Cordelia quickly volleyed back the answers to Wesley's onslaught of questions.

After a few minutes Wesley’s panic attack seemed to die out and he admitted that under the circumstances, Cordelia had handled the situation amazingly well.

"Thank you, I agree. I was pretty damn convincing" she finally laughed as a little of the tension, she too had been feeling, started to slip away.

Cordelia then stopped congratulating herself as she realised they were far from out of the woods. Angel was now waiting for them to get in touch with him and from the impatient look on his face, he wouldn't be waiting too long.

"Okay, so that was the easy part out of the way but, Wesley, What the hell are we going to do next?"

Go to Part 8