COUPLES: Main story B/A but S/D are hinted at.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is a B/A story with a little bit of a difference. It starts off in real life and is set 7 years into the future. When Sarah is critically injured only one person can save her. Buffy. But who is really saving who? This is my version of a Buffy quantum leap.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, I don't want them, they make me cry too much. Joss and his people do the owning thing
SPOILERS: Everything in the B/A history.
TIMELINE: Seven years into the future and two years into the past.
DISTRIBUTION: Great, just let me know where.
FEEDBACK: Yes please or I'll convince Joss to keep Riley *grin*
RATING: PG
DEDICATION: Rosi, Leisa, Deirdre, a bathroom and a closet: What a summer that was.
A leap for love... When Sarah's life hangs in the balance only one person can save her..... Buffy.But who is really saving who?
Prologue
Seven years into the future and both BTVS and ATS have ended; both shows were left without any real closure.
Sarah puts Buffy firmly behind her and goes on to receive an Oscar nomination.
TV interview
" And finally, tonight's star guest is none other than Buffy herself, Oscar nominee. Miss Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Sarah walked across the studio floor smiling brightly; she waved excitedly as the audience's applause grew to almost fever pitch. On reaching her seat she accepted a kiss to the cheek and sat down.
As the audience cheering died down the interview began.
" Welcome, Sarah. Now before we concentrate on this weekends Oscars I have a few questions I simply must ask about Buffy*."
Sarah laughed, crossing one perfectly tanned leg over the other. She then attempted to erase a non-existent crease from her skirt before continuing.
" I guess I'll never live that part down" She tucked a loose strand of light brown hair behind her ear and smiled showing perfect white teeth.
It was true, no matter how many years passed - or how many parts she played - all people still wanted to talk about was the legendary Vampire slayer.
" Well the first question has to be, is it really all over and if yes, is that the last we ever hear of Buffy and Angel?"
Sarah chewed slightly on her bottom lip; she looked to be deep in thought before replying.
" I'm afraid the answer is yes to both questions. There was talk of a film at one point, to tie up all the loose ends, but it never materialised; so, sadly, B/A has been assigned to the history pages of science fiction."
She finished her answer with an apologetic grin into the right camera.
" So, no big B/A reunion in the foreseeable future?" the interviewer continued to push the subject.
Sarah tried to stay as polite as possible, even though the topic of Buffy bored her to tears these days she was far too professional to let it show.
"No. I can say quiet positively that there will be no B/A reunion"
As the audience sighed with disappointment Sarah made it clear with her eyes that the subject was now closed. She was here to talk about the Oscars and not some old TV show.
"Well people, you heard it here first. Buffy and Angel are well and truly over... So Sarah, what do you think your chances are of winning this weekend&"
*~*~*~*
Part 1
The Oscars.
The limousine swept slowly down Hollywood Boulevard, following a procession of similar, sleek vehicles all ready to shed their beautifully groomed and nervous inhabitants. Sarah looked out from the tinted windows, breathing slowly - in and out, in and out, trying to quell the flight of butterflies who had taken up residence in her stomach.
A firm hand reached over, gently unclenching her fingers and soothing the back of her tiny hand.
*Relax, honey, this is your night! Got your speech all ready?*
Sarah turned, giving her companion a grateful smile *Oh Ian, I can't remember EVER being this nervous, I can't believe that I might have a chance*
He chuckled, *Sweetheart, you have a good or even better chance, your performance was outstanding! And I'm thinking that it's an omen when you look at who will be presenting the Oscar*
She smiled at the thought of her friend and old co-star being on stage to present the *Best Performance by an Actress* award. After winning the Best Supporting Actor Oscar the previous year, it was tradition that David would be presenting at this years' awards. When the announcement came through that Al Pacino was unable to attend, due to work constraints, the Academy nominated the BSA winner to present in his place.
Her thoughts came to a sudden stop as the limousine smoothly pulled up in front of the red carpet that cut a path through hordes of television crews and interviewers from all over the world. The new Center had been built in 2001, next to Graumans Chinese Theater and across the road from the first venue for the Academy Awards.
As the door flew open she took another deep breath....**Right girl, you're ON** smoothly stepping from the limo a big smile lit up her face. **Big wave, that's right. Smile and acknowledge the fans in their tiers and tiers of seats, they've waited for days for this. C'mon, one step after the other, back straight, stomach in.....**
She made her way slowly up the carpet, chatting to other guests, stopping every two or three feet to speak to another TV crew, questions about her dress, jewellery, hair. Were she and Ian going to set a date? What did she think her chances were....on and on, the never ending questions. Finally, without even being aware that she had reached her destination, Ian gently held her arm and steered her into the Foyer.
********************************************
David stood proudly reading the nominations for best actress in a leading role. He quickly reeled off the list of actresses and secretly smiled when he reached his friend's name.
" And the award for Best Performance by an Actress goes to&" he carefully opened the golden envelope and removed the small card inside. One quick glance brought an enormous grin to his handsome face.
" Sarah Michelle Gellar for Always" he announced with real pride in his voice.
Immediately the music from the movie soundtrack filled the air along with thunderous applause.
Sarah rose slowly from her seat, her face a picture of pure shock. Of course she had dreamed of winning this award for weeks now, but when she had looked at the fierce competition it had always brought her back to earth.
Now as her name was called out the realisation of that dream sank in.
Sarah turned, kissed her partner and carefully made her way up onto the stage.
Meanwhile David led the rapturous applause as Sarah slowly climbed the steps. They hadn't seen each other in almost a year and David was genuinely excited over his ex co-star's success.
Finally, reaching the podium she kissed David's cheek and their eyes held for a second.
On seeing how nervous Sarah was David took her hand in his and whispered something amusing, Sarah laughed and relaxed. Then, feeling more at ease, she accepted the golden statue and turned to face the world.
Under the bright lights Sarah sparkled like a million stars. Her dress, pure white and low backed, completely defied all laws of gravity.
Talking a deep calming breath, she smiled and began her acceptance speech.
David stood quietly to one side as Sarah thanked all the right people; he waited patiently to escort her off the stage at the end of her speech.
But then, right in the middle of a night full of dreams, a nightmare begun.
Sarah's speech was violently interrupted as a single gunshot exploded across the room.
The bullet caught Sarah straight in the stomach, the force knocking her clean off her feet. Without a second thought David threw himself forward, his strong arms catching her as she fell.
Pandemonium broke out as fear and confusion led to panic. Guests in full evening attire scurried for cover, some tripping, some crying but nearly all screaming. Making matters worse was the fact that nobody knew where the first shot had come from or if the attack was over.
Meanwhile, on the stage, Sarah lay trembling in shock. She stared down at the deep red stain on the front of her designer dress and watched in fascination as the gown changed colour. David frantically pushed his hands over the wound, he had basic knowledge of first aid but this was way beyond him. He had never seen so much blood in all his life, not real blood. Looking into his friends frightened eyes brought the real horror home to him. Sarah could be dying right in front of him, as the blood pumped through the material of Sarah's dress David pressed his hands harder and screamed for help.
The Hospital&
The ambulance siren wailed through the air as Sarah was rushed to the nearest emergency room. David and Ian watched as the paramedics worked frantically on the small, almost lifeless, body before them. Reaching the hospital, a practised team of professionals helped the medics unload the gurney as vital information was passed between the two groups. Leaving David and Ian to follow on, they moved briefly into the ER and then straight into the operating theatre.
The two stood hesitantly inside the entrance, confused and stunned, then slowly moved forward, unsure of their destination. Behind them, the entrance doors flew open again revealing the President of the Academy and several officials who were soon joined by the D.A. and senior police officers, then the Director of the hospital. Gathering the two younger men into the group they were ushered into a private waiting room.
As they waited for the director to speak, Edward Nabb, an academy official informed David and Ian that Mrs Gellar was on her way, they would not receive any information till she got there.
********************************************
Hours passed by, the group sat and waited. Occasionally, a police officer or another official came to the door spoke briefly to one of the pale and drawn inhabitants, then quietly departed. Everyone was aware of the ticking clock on the wall as time dragged interminably.
Finally, the door opened and a surgeon entered, removing his cap and surgical gown as he surveyed the tense faces before him.
The good news - after hours of surgery she was amazingly still alive. He held his hand out to Mrs Gellar to take her to her daughter, informing the group another staff member would bring them through to ICU shortly
**********************************************
While the officials and police sat in a tight group, heads together, discussing the situation, David waited anxiously outside intensive care, he watched Sarah's partner Ian pace nervously back and forth slowly coming apart.
" She's dead, I know she's dead" he repeated continually.
" For God's sake sit down!" David lost his temper, the situation was long passed serious and this fool was making matters worse, if that was at all possible.
Ian ignored David and carried on pacing.
" All that blood, did you see all that blood?" he continued to mumble to nobody in particular.
David glanced down at his own hands, they were still covered in Sarah's blood, he didn't need to be reminded of how much blood she'd lost, most of it had flowed though his fingers. He leaned up against the wall and took a long deep breath trying to calm his erratic heartbeat; it was still racing at twice the normal speed.
" What if she dies?" Ian's voice filtered into David's mind, he ran his hands through his hair in despair as his own thoughts echoed.
** What would he do if she died? **
Sarah was his best friend, a long time ago she might have been more but something had always stood in the way of them getting together, they had both accepted that years ago, and through everything they had remained the closest of friends.
David closed his eyes and shut Ian's annoying voice out of his head; he tried to focus on happier thoughts and years of memories flooded over him. Scenes of B/A played out in his head and it suddenly worried him that they had never really brought the series to a happy ending. David knew he wasn't thinking rationally, at that moment in time he was too frightened to think rationally.
**When Sarah was fit and well again he would discuss a new show with her, that was it, a new show they could do together** David tried to comfort himself with that thought and for a few seconds it seemed to work. He then noticed the blood on his white shirt and real life came crashing around his ears.
Sarah's doctor walked out of intensive care looking incredibly tired.
"She'd dead, " Ian cried hysterically.
The cry broke into David's thoughts causing him to look up.
The doctor ignored the panic stricken man in front of him and walked slowly towards David.
" She's holding her own, the next few hours will be crucial. Although the bullet miraculously missed all of her vital organs it still did a hell of a lot of damage, the blood loss was also a enormous problem for a while, but the transfusion looks to have taken. If she has enough strength left, enough reason to live, well we'll see."
" Can I see her please?" David asked keeping his voice as low and calm as possible. Now was not the time for hysteria he thought as he glanced again at Ian.
" No! I'm her boyfriend, you're not even family" Ian shouted.
As Ian glared at David, Mrs Gellar came out of the room. Laying her hand on Ian's arm and soothing him, she turned to David. *The only word she has said in all this time is your name. The doctor thinks if she recognises your voice, it might be a way to bring her out of her unconscious state.* Her eyes blurred with tears again, *try to understand, please Ian*.
The doctor then turned his attention back to David.
" Mr. Boreanaz, five minutes" he nodded.
****************************************************
David walked into room and carefully made his way to Sarah's bedside; the whole feel of the room reminded him of how serious her condition was.
He pulled up a chair and sat quietly by her side.
Beep, beep, beep, beep
David lifted her tiny hand a few inches and held it between his, she looked so small just lying there covered in tubes and wires. There were machines helping her breath, machines checking her blood, IV's replacing fluids and blood bags replacing blood. He'd never seen anything so terrifying in all his life.
Sarah didn't make a sound she just continued to sleep. David sat there watching as her small chest took each new breath and with each breath a small flicker of relief touched his heart.
" Come on Sarah, you really have to fight hard this time, your whole life depends on it " David whispered and softly caressed her fingers.
*~*~*~*
Sarah's eyes flickered, her head screamed with pain as she struggled to remember exactly where she was and why she was there. Everything seemed a bit of a blur as her eyes slowly focussed on her surroundings. Even when her eyes fully opened she wasn't quiet certain where she was, there was something familiar about the room but she couldn't quite place it.
Sarah then realised somebody was holding tightly onto her hand, she rolled her head to the other side and stared.
" David" she sighed as deep brown eyes full of concern met hers, then for a moment those eyes showed confusion.
" Buffy" he softly kissed her hand, the corners of his mouth lifted in the sweetest of smiles.
" Funny. Very funny. God David, your hands are so cold " her voice started to fade away as sleep attempted to drag her back.
" Buffy, can you hear me?" David's voice asked again.
Sarah fought the tiredness and forced her eyes back open.
" How are you feeling?" his soft voice was still full of concern.
Sarah had a flash of memory and pieces began to fall into place, on reliving the shooting she groaned.
" For somebody who just got shot I guess I'm feeling pretty good" Sarah yawned. She then placed her hand gingerly on her stomach; confusion crossed her features when she failed to find the bandages.
" You didn't get shot, Buffy. It was the demon's blood, remember?"
Sarah's head began to hurt more, everything seemed so wrong here; David looked so pale and his hands were so cold.
**Where the hell was she? Because one thing was for sure, this wasn't her room**.
" Why are you calling me Buffy? It's not funny" Sarah's voice became aggravated.
** She was sick and David was making dumb jokes**
" It's your name, silly" David smiled or at least it looked like David, Sarah was growing more confused.
" Duh...The names Sarah, Buffy's only a character, you should know that better than anybody" at that point a terrible thought crossed her mind.
" I'm not dead am I?" she asked hesitantly raising her eyebrows. She didn t feel dead... then again what did dead feel like because she had been shot and&. Her mind was running away with her.
David smiled.
" Looks like you're still feeling some of the effects of the demon blood, it will wear off soon. Are you still hearing voices, Buffy? " He asked softly, there was so much emotion in his voice it made Sarah tremble.
Sarah rubbed her tired eyes.
" Voices? No voices, I think I need some sleep though" she whispered and laid her head back on the soft pillow.
** If she just went back to sleep this whole episode might prove to be nothing more than a bad dream, that was it, a nightmare.
Sarah closed her eyes as sleep started to claim her, the last thing she felt was cool lips press a tender kiss to her forehead.
" Sleep" he whispered.
Then as an after thought Sarah swore she heard.
" Who's David?"
*****************************************************
The next time Sarah opened her eyes the room was empty, she knew she wasn't totally alone because she could hear muffled voices coming from down stairs.
Gingerly, she moved one leg over the side of the bed; she waited for the pain that was certain to follow and was increasingly suspicious when she still felt nothing. Swinging the other leg over Sarah slowly sat up.
** What on earth was she wearing**
Sarah slowly opened the black and white silk pj's and stared down at her perfect stomach, not so much as a scratch marked her skin. She ran her hands over the soft flesh in wonder.
** Where the hell had the bullet hole gone? She knew it had hit her, she remembered all the blood and the fear in David's eyes. **
She stood up and walked around the room, there was such a familiarity about it, and somewhere buried deep in her subconscious she knew she'd been there before.
Standing in front of the mirror she carefully studied her reflection, relieved at first to find she still had one, she smiled.
** A reflection, that was a good sign, ghosts didn't have reflections, or was that vampire's? ** Sarah's mind was rambling again. Her memory felt like a jigsaw puzzle with all the important parts missing, If she could just find the corner pieces, it would be a start.
On returning her thoughts to the mirror Sarah watched as the reflection stared back at her. It didn t take her long to realise that although it was her face, her body, something was not quite right. Her hair was longer and a lot blonder; she ran her fingers slowly through the long silky locks, that had been cut off years earlier, in disbelief. Sarah then noticed something else, she raised her hand and traced the contours of her face. Her skin...her skin felt..softer, younger. That was it. Sarah stared in amazement, she looked almost ten years younger.
Pressing her hands up against the cold glass she shivered.
"What the hell's going on, what's happened to me?" she asked in utter bewilderment.
" That's not your reflection.... it's mine" a voice spoke from behind her.
Sarah spun around and came face to face..with herself. Her eyes bulged and her mouth dropped almost to the floor.
" Oh shit"
Part 2.
Sarah turned and came face to face....with herself..
*~*~*~
" I knew it, I just knew it, I'm so dead" It was the only logical conclusion Sarah's brain could comprehend.
" You're not dead, well not yet anyway. I should know I'm stuck in your body at the moment and it's still breathing" her double replied.
" OK, this is *so* not happening" Sarah refused to acknowledge the ghostly figure. If she ignored it long enough it would either float away or her alarm clock would start ringing and she'd wake up from this nightmare. *Nightmare* that was the key word here, just keep thinking nightmare and it'll all be over soon...
The image continued to speak.
" The only problem with this little scenario is that you won't wake up, you're completely unconscious. It must have something to do with all the pain relief they keep pumping into you. You have no any idea how boring it is just lying there"
When the room finally went quiet Sarah reluctantly returned her eyes to where the apparition had been standing, unfortunately she was still there.
Sarah knew that she was now in serious trouble, whatever the explanation for this latest development, it was bound to be bad news.
Once again the other girl's voice broke through Sarah's reverie.
" You think you're the only one confused by all this, *Ha* " The small laugh she gave held no humour.
" One minute I've got a million voices inside my head and the next.... I wake up in a strange bed inside somebody else's body.... Hey!....But that's not the best part, believe me. I'm then vaguely informed by something called *the powers that be* that they are the ones responsible for all this, then off they go with no other explanation... The better keeps coming though.. What other lovely surprise do I find, oh yes *my* Angel sitting by *your* bedside, holding *your* hand..... Excuse me but why is my lover there holding your hand?"
*~*~*~*~
Sarah listened as the apparition finished her heated speech, trying to process the information into some sort of rational order.
" Let me get this straight, you are trying to telling me that you're Buffy Anne Summers, the vampire slayer, right? The very same character I used to play in a TV show." she asked sceptically.
Buffy nodded.
She didn't understand what the problem was; It was a simple enough explanation, nothing too difficult.
" But you're not real" Sarah continued slowly.
Buffy quirked her eyebrows.
" I think you standing here talking to me makes me pretty damn real" Buffy was starting to lose patience with her doubles' inability to accept the obvious.
Sarah closed her eyes and shook her head.
" I can't do this it's not real, you're not here and I can't talk to you". She moved agitatedly around the room, trying to process the situation and trying desperately to hang on to her sanity.
Buffy sighed.
" Sarah, I wish you'd stop freaking. Weird things like this happen to me all the time, I mean it's an every day occurrence, in my world it's normal"
" Shut up! Will you just shut up, I'm talking to somebody who doesn t exist, in your world it might be called normal, but in mine its called schizophrenia" Sarah's voice just stopped at hysterical.
" Oh god now I'm arguing with myself." she whispered as an afterthought.
Buffy continued to grin.
" That's what I'm trying to explain, Sarah. You're not talking to yourself at all, we are completely separate people, we share the same face but we come from different dimensions. I've only ever been Buffy I'm not you, I never was. The powers that be have done this for a reason. We just have to find out why"
Sarah stopped her nervous pacing and faced the apparition "OK, let's just say, for arguments sake, you are real. Not just a figment of my complete nervous break down" She mumbled the last part under her breath in sarcastic disbelief.
Buffy waited.
" So, why are we both here?" Sarah reluctantly considered the ridiculous situation and started to accept it. What other choice did she have? Well at least until she woke up.
" We're not both here, you re the only one of us that's physically here, in Sunnydale at least, watch.
Sarah watched as Buffy crossed the room and moved straight through a table.
" Wow! And you're not a ghost" Sarah tried to reason with what she had just witnessed.
Buffy sighed; this was such hard work it was almost one step forward three steps back.
" I don't understand why this has happened any more than you do; these *Powers That Be* work in strange ways but I believe we should trust them. All I know for certain is this is my bedroom and that's my body you're wearing. For some unknown reason we swapped places and I ended up in a hospital bed. Hey! did you know you've got a really big hole in your stomach&of course you did, sorry. Buffy apologised for her lack of tactfulness. She shivered seeing the terror reflected in identical eyes to her own.
Sarah sat heavily on the side of the bed. " Maybe that's why we swapped places. Isn't it possible you were meant to save me with your slayer's healing? " There was a slight quiver to her voice. The confirmation that she had indeed been shot filled her with anxiety.
" I thought that too at first. Of course it's possible, but I feel like I haven't brought all my powers with me; it looks like my body still holds a great deal of my strength. I'm sure the powers that be will make everything clear in their own time"
Buffy watched as the other girl struggled to accept this theory. She knew she had to stay as calm as possible for both their sakes. She also knew showing her own fear and confusion would only make matters worse.
Then she remembered the most important question of all.
" I'd still like to know why Angel was there?"
Sarahs' face broke into a small smile for the very first time. She stood and moved toward toward the Slayer.
" That wasn't Angel, that must have been David"
" It sure looked like Angel" Buffy suspiciosly looked at the person who had taken her place.
Swapping bodies to save the girl's life was one thing, sharing Angel was another. Buffy would never share Angel. She shuddered at the memory of seeing him pretend with Faith. There was no way she could face that much pain again.
" Believe me it had to be David, he was there when I was hurt" Sarah couldn't bring herself to use the word shot. Just thinking about it terrified her. She looked back at Buffy and knew the slayer wasn't quite convinced.
" It's a long story, but if you can believe that you and I are separate people you will just have to accept that David is not Angel" Sarah tried to explain but she was still having difficulty believing any of this nonsense herself.
" And is this David your lover?" Buffy wasn't quite satisfied, the guy was holding her hand as if it was the end of the world.
" NO! We're just friends" Sarah replied quickly.
This time Buffy laughed.
" Friends, yes I understand. Friends like Angel and I, *look but don't touch* friends"
" No, not like you and Angel.. Friends like... FRIENDS...Oh I don't understand anything any more" Sarah sat down on Buffy's bed again, thoroughly confused.
At that moment the bedroom door slowly opened.
"Hey! You're up" Angel's soft voice spoke as he entered the room.
Buffy automatically walked towards her lover but he passed right through her and wrapped his arms around Sarah, hugging her close.
Sarah looked frantically toward the Slayer. Angel hadn't seen Buffy at all, he'd walked straight through her and hadn't noticed a thing.
" Angel" Buffy called gently.
Sarah realised, to her horror, that Angel couldn't hear his real love either. As far as he was concerned, she was the only other person in the room, she was the only *Buffy* there. Her heart went out to her double as the implications registered.
Angel took Sarah's face in his large cool hands.
" You're awake, good. And no more voices?" His voice was as soft as a caress and his eyes; Sarah had never seen eyes so full of concern of an another being in all her life.
"Only one" Sarah was amazed she still had the power of speech.
This wasn't David, this was a real vampire and he was looking at her with such unadulterated love and longing that she found she could hardly breathe. This was Angel, in the flesh so to speak. Sarah's blood ran cold as she accepted Buffy's story completely. She really had changed places with the slayer. Even Angel couldn't tell the difference and they were soul mates.
**Then again, Buffy's soul was still in the same room ** Sarah corrected her self.
Angel tilted her head towards his and she knew he was going to kiss her. Sarah's eyes flew over towards an extremely jealous looking slayer.
" Don't you dare" Buffy whispered. It might be her body but the thought of Angel kissing it without her inside was unthinkable.
Sarah recognised the pain in the other woman's face; she placed a palm on Angel's chest and gently pushed away.
The look that appeared in his eyes made her feel dreadful, as far as he was concerned his love had just rejected him. Whichever way Sarah turned somebody was going to get hurt.
" Angel I have to..."
" No Sarah!" Buffy's voice interrupted her confession.
Startled by the tone of Buffy's voice Sarah looked up again.
" You can't tell him, I don't know why yet, I just know it's important you don't tell anybody." As Buffy said the words her heart reached out to Angel's sadness, but there was no way she comfort him with the truth. The one thing TPTB had been very clear about was, apart from Sarah and Buffy no one else was to know about the leap.
Sarah looked back into Angels sad eyes; he was waiting patiently for her to continue speaking.
" I. Um, I better get dressed. I'll see you downstairs" she tried to smile.
She knew deceiving Angel was going to be the most difficult part of all. Until they learned more about the leap she would have to stay as much in character as possible. But also, for Buffy's sake, she would have to keep her distance from Angel. Saying that, even the staying in character part wasn't going to be easy, especially with a memory still resembling a swiss cheese.
Sarah watched Angel turn and leave the room. At the same time, Buffy's eyes stayed rivetted on the brooding vampire's back until he quietly closed the door behind him. When she was certain that Angel's footsteps had taken him down the stairs Buffy turned her attention back to Sarah.
" Just keep your hands off my lover " Buffy's warning was very clear. Sarah could almost feel the jealousy radiating off the slayer.
She knew she had to try and break the tension that was building between them.
" Technically they are * your* hands" Sarah offered.
By the look on Buffy's face she knew the slayer hadn't appreciated her attempt at humour.
" I'm being called" Buffy turned her head as if listening to somebody else.
" Don't go" Sarah felt the panic in her stomach start to grow, she was terrified at the thought of being left on her own again.
" I'll come back when I know more, just go about my life as I would. I can't remember properly but I think there's something at the school that needs me. Damn, my memory is as jumbled as yours." Buffy started to move away.
" Just remember what I said about Angel!" she shot her final warning and faded completely away.
Sarah stood in the middle of the room feeling totally abandoned. She struggled to remember what Buffy's instructions were.
** Just go about my life as I would**
Sarah then searched the depths of her fragile memory for the story line; it was so long ago. Angel was still in Sunnydale so it had to be season three&Voices, he'd spoken about voices&Aspects of the demon&YES.
It came back to her in brief flashes but it was enough. First she had to find Jonathan, Buffy had believed him to be the killer but she'd been wrong. That was the plan, she'd first stop Jonathan and then find the real killer&
" Oh shit" " Sarah cursed.
She ran her hands thorough her hair in frustration.
" Who the hell was the real killer again? "
Sarah knew she would have to play it as she remembered it and just hope Buffy would make a reappearance as soon as possible. The fact that she was inside the slayers body would help, she could feel the extra energy already coursing through her veins. Reluctantly she was the slayer for the time being, and even at half slayer strength Sarah knew she had to be better than nothing.
She walked over to Buffy's closet and started pulling out clothes, cringing at a style she'd not worn in almost nine years Sarah selected an outfit and quickly dressed.
Taking one final look in the mirror Sarah sighed deeply, she would now have to play the role of her life, and this time her life really did depend on her getting it right.
Just when she thought she'd never play the part of Buffy again the damn character comes back and bites her on the arse.
Part 3
Sarah slowly walked down the stairs of Buffy's home; it seemed so strange seeing the place as an actual house and not the studio set she remembered.
She quite expected Joss Whedon to pop up at any moment and start screaming cut or maybe David would jump out and pull one of his dumb jokes or....Sarah pulled her thoughts away from her real life, the possibility that she may never return was too painful to contemplate. For the time being she had other issues to deal with so, taking a deep breath, Sarah switched into character.
After reassuring Giles, Wesley, Joyce and Angel that she had completely recovered from her ordeal Sarah begged Giles to drive her to school, she knew she had to stop Jonathan before she did anything else. The killer would be next if only she could remember who the hell it was.
Angel had taken her to one side and made her promise to be careful, he then softly kissed her forehead, Sarah's first instinct had been to push away again but she couldn't bear to see the hurt she knew would appear in his eyes. Instead of pulling away she pretended the vampire was still David and smiled softly into his eyes.
Angel had looked so relieved it was heartbreaking, Sarah saw at that moment just how deeply the vampire loved his slayer, the look in his eyes told her without question that Buffy Summers was his whole world.
Sarah had never seen devotion like it, even when she and David had been filming those scenes she'd never truly got how deeply Buffy and Angel had loved each other. This was overwhelming to her. She vowed to ask David about it when she got home, if she got home.
David was the only other person she could talk to who could possibly understand.
**David and maybe a few thousand B/A shippers** at that thought Sarah smiled again, without thinking she reached up on tiptoes and kissed Angels cheek. Sadly even that simple gesture left her burning with guilt. She was truly thankful that the bright sunlight out side would prevent the vampire from helping her further that day.
Pushing her guilt to the back of her mind she smiled one last time then quickly followed Giles to the car.
LA.
THE HOSPITAL
As the taxi slowly approached the main entrance to the hospital, David peered out of the window. He had only been away for an hour; he'd taken just enough time to shower and change his clothes before returning. The last forty-eight hours had been pure hell for all of them, and as much as he didn't want to admit it, he feared things could still get a lot worse.
The sight that greeted him made his blood run cold.
" Oh God just look at that" he muttered more to himself than the driver.
A news crew from nearly every TV station in the country had now converged outside the hospital entrance adding their numbers to the herd of newspaper reporters and Sarah's fans already gathered there..
It seemed as if the whole country was waiting for the latest information on Sarah's shooting.
" Do you want me to try and find another way in?" the driver asked helpfully.
David agreed that would be the best idea, but sadly it turned out to be impossible, the media had staked out the whole hospital. Finally, resigned to running the gauntlet, David stopped the taxi and climbed out.
The press recognised him immediately. Cameras flashed in his face as question after question was screamed about Sarah's condition,
When a microphone suddenly appeared under his nose he turned and glared in disgust, his only response was an extremely aggravated * No comment *. David then pushed past and continued to fight his way inside.
Outside intensive care David found Sarah's mother crying her heart out.
" What is it, what happened?" he was almost too afraid to ask.
" She crashed, the doctors are in there now" Sarah's mother continued to sob. " It all happened so quickly, one moment she was sleeping soundly and the next, alarms started ringing and the crash team pushed me out of the room"
David wrapped his arms around the poor woman and tried to soothe her with any words of comfort he could find.
" She's going to be alright, she has to be alright" David wasn't sure if he was comforting Mrs. Gellar or reassuring himself. He just had to try and stay strong for all their sakes.
ICU...
Buffy appeared back in Sarah's room.
" Oh well, boredom here I come! " she sighed miserably at the prospect of spending more time with her unconscious double.
The scene that greeted her was far from boring.
A doctor stood beside Sarah's body with two shock paddles in his hands, he looked frantically towards the heart monitor but It was still flat lining.
" Again! " he shouted.
As the medical team moved away from Sarah they confirmed they were all well clear. Once again the doctor hit Sarah's small chest with the paddles, her body jerked violently as the current entered her, it then slumped back onto the bed.
Buffy watched the events unfold with horror, she'd only been away a short time, she checked out the large white clock on wall and was amazed to find she'd actually been gone hours.
Within seconds Sarah's condition changed, her heartbeat returned and she started breathing normally. The medical team looked at each other in astonishment; they then breathed a collective sigh of relief.
Buffy felt Sarah's heart beat return to normal as she closed her eyes. Her last conscious thought before sleep took her was of Angel.
SUNNYDALE
The short journey to the school seemed to last forever, Giles made small talk for a while and Sarah prayed she nodded in all the right places.
" Buffy are you sure you are quite recovered? You seem, well a little preoccupied"
" What? oh sorry. Just trying to work out how to stop a physco I guess" Sarah replied hoping she still sounded like an eighteen-year old school girl.
Giles nodded that he understood and accepted her reason without further question, they drove the rest of the way in silence.
On reaching the high school Sarah made her way straight to the clock tower. After assessing the situation for a couple of seconds she felt Buffy's slayer instinct kicked in, as if switching over to automatic pilot she started running up the side of the stairs, she leaped onto the roof with a somersault and landed perfectly on her feet.
" Wow!" Sarah breathed deeply as her energy increased. She made a mental note to send a letter of appreciation to her old stand-in when (no, *if*) she got back to her own life.
She didn't need to think anymore, the moment she had started to run she had become the Slayer in her own right, it was as if Buffy was working with her, every step of the way. Her legs then sprinted over the red slate tiles of the roof, Slayer power once more moved up a gear as her body went crashing through the wooden shutters of the clock tower.
Standing slowly she face a loaded riffle.
" I'm thinking deja vu for reasons you're never gonna understand" she almost laughed at the irony in the situation.
" Get away from me"
" Hey, Jonathan. You want to point that somewhere else" even the speech came naturally.
She turned her attention back to Jonathan when she realised he was still talking.
" Don't you try and stop me.."
Sarah resisted telling him just what she thought about arseholes with guns, the fact that in a different dimension she was lying with a hole in her stomach wouldn't help matters.
Closing her eyes and drawing from her memory she played the scene exactly as she remembered it; the words came back to her as if it was only yesterday. It was only when she was walking over to the cafeteria a while later that she realised *this* Jonathan had been playing with real live ammunition. She then broke out in a cold sweat at the thought of being shot again.
*****
Sarah arrived in the food hall just in time to catch the school cook raise a meat cleaver to Xander head, she quickly grabbed the crazed woman's hand and sent the weapon flying across the room
" Damn it! Now I remember" she cursed her scrambled memory, disarming the woman into unconsciousness hadn't been a problem
" Just like the good old days" she joked as she held out an arm and helped Xander to his feet.
With a quick reminder that this wasn't her friend Nick, she smiled and stayed in character. She waited nervously for somebody to point out that she was an impostor, but nobody did.
**This is just so freaky** Now she had met a real live Xander and the weirdness kept coming.
LA (Hospital)
Buffy felt like a lost soul, she spent hours lingering around Sarah's intensive care room, just waiting for the powers that be to show up again and tell her what they wanted her to do. So far there had been so sign of them at all.
Buffy was bored, lonely and she missed Angel dreadfully. She'd discovered after the first few days that she could leave Sarah's body for a short time without it getting too distressed. The only time she'd had any real trouble was the first time she'd visited Sarah, then she must have stayed away too long because on returning she found the girl having a seizure. Once Buffy had returned to Sarah's dimension the body had calmed down and things when back to normal, well as normal as completely unconscious got.
With nothing else to do Buffy studied Sarah's visitors. The mother seemed nice, a bit over protective * but that's mothers for you* Buffy smiled as she thought of her own mother.
Then there was a skinny guy that came in and just stared at the clock on the wall, Ian something or other. He seemed uncomfortable talking to an unconscious girl, Buffy didn't like him much, and she wasn't too upset when his visits became less frequent
And finally there was the Angel look-a-like.
**What was his name again? ** Buffy wondered as she watched the tall good looking man take his usual seat and hold Sarah's hand.
**David** that was it, Sarah had called him David.
Buffy watched him with curiosity; he looked a lot older than Angel did.
**Well, being alive would do that to a man** she smiled. There were of course other small differences, David was tanned and Buffy could feel the warmth of his body whenever he was close. There was also one other thing she noticed, when the doctor had informed him there was a slight improvement in Sarah's condition he had smiled, his whole face had just beamed. Buffy had never seen Angel smile like that, she wondered sadly if she ever would.
Watching David made her longing to see Angel intensify. She had accepted that first day that Angel and this David were not the same person, but when she looked really closely she saw the same eyes, the same mouth. Buffy's heart longed for its mate, they might not be lovers in the physical sense any longer but they were still lovers in her heart.
The undeniable urge to see him grew too strong, once her mind was made up there was no stopping her.
*~*~*~
Buffy wandered through the mansion feeling lost and disillusioned, she felt as if she hadn't been there in months.
She'd left Sarah's body sleeping soundly and rationalised that she could be away at least an hour without any harm being done.
The powers that be wouldn't be happy but she didn't care, she needed to see Angel, even if he couldn't see her. The pull of her soulmate was just too strong.
She found Angel asleep by the fire; a book of poetry lay open where it had fallen.
Buffy moved closer and watched him sleep. To this day it still amazed her how still his body was when he slept, he was so pale, so cold and his chest made no movement or sound. She reached out to touch him but her hand moved straight through,
" I love you" it didn't matter that Angel couldn't see her, it didn't matter that the words would never be heard, Buffy just needed to say them.
" Buffy" Angel murmured in his sleep.
Buffy watched his sleeping form stir slightly.
" Love you " he sighed softly still in sleep.
Buffy was now content, Angel couldn't see her, he couldn't hear her, but he could feel her soul reaching out to him and it reached right back. Maybe not when he was awake and working with Sarah but at times like this, that's when it mattered most.
With that thought warming her heart Buffy returned back to Sarah's dimension. She had a strong feeling that things would become clear really soon.
*~*~*~*
Sarah lay back on her bed; she just wanted a few minutes peace and quiet before she headed back out on patrol. She'd promised to meet up with Angel and now she was trying desperately to prepare what she was going to say to him.
Keeping up the pretence with the scoobies was one thing, Sarah knew they had no idea of the swap, but Angel? Angel was a different story.
The more time she spent with the Vampire the harder it became to deceive him. She knew he was worried about her, no he was worried about Buffy Sarah corrected.
**All I have to do is keep my distance** she reminded herself **Keep my distance without hurting his feelings**
" Yeah, easier said then done" she moaned as she pulled the pillow over her face.
** Thank God for his curse **
" Hey! I'm back"
Sarah almost jumped out of her skin
" I wish you wouldn't just appear like that"
" Duh! I don't really have much choice do I? It's not as if I can knock on the door" Buffy asked a little sarcastically.
" Thank God you're back it's been a nightmare here, you wouldn't believe the things that have happened . First the mayor and Faith kidnapped Willow and then we had to swap her for a box of these spider things *yuck* and then..." Sarah stopped, there was something about the look on Buffy's face that filled her with dread.
" What? What happened" ice ran down her spine.
Buffy's eyes glared at her.
"What have you done to my body?" Sarah glared back.
" Nothing, your body's healing nicely, thanks to me. You haven't woken up yet and your Angel is there everyday, holding your hand ever so tightly." Buffy's voice was deadly calm.
When Sarah looked up, the coldness in Buffy's eyes made her shiver.
" I haven't got an Angel. David remember"
" You split us up, we never got back together, did we? " Buffy finally let go of her anger.
Sarah realised at once what her double was talking about.
" No, there was no reunion" she replied softly unable to meet Buffys eyes.
" HOW could you do that to me, how could either of you two do that. Angel is my life, my soul mate I would never have let him go" Buffy cried in frustration.
"It's only TV, it's not rea..." Sarah started to explain but then she realised how stupid that sounded. The living proof was standing right in front of her.
" You have to help me get him back. Angel hasn't left me yet, you have to stop him! It's all perfectly clear now, all this time you thought we swapped places for me to save your life...Well I think you were meant to save mine, well at least my life with Angel. You have to help me. Sarah. I don't care what it takes, please don't let Angel leave me, he's the reason I breathe" Buffy's tear stained eyes pleaded.
Sarah had never witnessed anybody so devastated, the girl was obviously so in love it was heartbreaking.
"Please" Buffy asked again this time her small voice sounded pitiful.
" I'll try" Sarah finally found her voice.
Buffy nodded, she straightened her shoulders and took a deep breath.
" Good, then I'll continue to * try* and save your life"
The two girls both stared at each other, both understanding exactly the importance of the others task.
" Buffy, I've been meaning to ask, how can you cross into this dimension? and why can't I cross back into mine?" Sarah had been wondering about that ever since Buffy's first visit.
" Maybe because I'm a Slayer with supernatural powers and you're just an actress" Buffy offered.
Sarah nodded, she couldn't really argue with that.
" I have to go now" Buffy started to fade.
" Wait! Is my An..I mean David really holding my hand? What about Ian?" Sarah asked.
" Oh yes, he hardly leaves our bedside, how do you think I found out about all this. He talks a lot" Buffy almost smiled
" He always did have a big mouth, and Ian?"
" The skinny one? Oh, he stopped coming awhile ago. I don't think An..David likes him much, it's funny you say he's only a friend but sometimes he looks at you like Angel looks at me" Buffy faded away leaving Sarah feeling even more confused. She thought of her friend and smiled.
Sarah then started to remember what was coming next; dropping down on to her bed she laced her fingers together behind her head and stared at the ceiling. Her memory was still totally jumbled as if she was only allowed to remember one episode at a time but the next few days were now clear in her mind.
"Oh great, not only have I got to live all through the Prom again, I've got to stop Angel dumping me"
As the enormity of the task slowly began to sink in Sarah closed her eyes
" Oh hell"
Part 4
Sarah swung her arm over the side of the bed and switched off the alarm with a single swipe, instead of hiding beneath the sheets as she normally would, she threw them back and leapt out of bed.
She showered quickly, brushed her teeth and then attacked Buffy's closet with renewed curiosity.
** Hey! This could be the last time I get to wear clothes this young ** Sarah smiled as she pulled out a microscopic pink skirt, then after a second thought replaced it. " No, that was way too season one" she laughed.
Realising that not everything about this leap was as horrific as she'd first feared, Sarah decided to make the most of it. She knew that when she got home, and yes she was thinking *when* now and not *if* life would be very different.
She grabbed a hair brush and twisted her long hair up on top of her head, it was only as she wound the silky strands through her fingers that she noticed just how much she liked being blonde again. Maybe some things back home would change after all.
Adding the finishing touches to her outfit she grabbed her bag and hurried down the stairs.
For the first time since this whole nightmare began, Sarah felt she knew where it was heading.
Buffy had been right, she must be there for a reason and that reason was most probably to put right something that had once gone wrong. And, if stopping Angel leaving was her way of getting back home, she would give it her best shot. Wincing at her poor choice of words Sarah walked into the kitchen.
" Buffy" Joyce Summers sounded surprised at seeing her daughter.
" Hi mom" Sarah walked over to the refrigerator, removed a large carton of orange juice and poured it in to a glass. Draining the cold liquid in one go she refilled the glass and turned to face Buffy's mother.
" I didn't hear you come in last night, how did patrol go? Did you see Angel?" Joyce Summers looked up from fixing breakfast and gazed at her daughter. checking Buffy for cuts and bruises had become a habit she couldn't break, she was relieved to see nothing new.
" Patrol was good Angel was good too"
Sarah thought back to patrolling the night before, apart from killing a couple of over confident vampires, the night had been really quiet. Sarah had dismissed the mayor's talk about how bad Angel was for Buffy and hoped Angel believed it too. When he had suggested going back to the mansion Sarah quickly feigned a headache. She remembered only too well the post slayage nap episode and the last thing she wanted was to relive the whole ** let's get a couple of mirrors and a drawer talk** that had nose dived the first time and Sarah thought better of it. Also the thought of sleeping in the same bed as the vampire was far too risky, if Buffy found out she might kill her, literally.
Angel had insisted on walking her home and she leaned into his strong shoulder as they talked about her Prom. Sarah smiled as Angel agreed to buy a tux and she kissed his cheek goodnight before climbing to her bedroom window,
As she lay in bed that night she made a mental note in her head, first thing on that list was stopping Buffy's mother from talking to Angel. It wouldn't be easy but as sleep pulled Sarah down into its dark warmth her determination to succeed was set in stone.
Sarah pulled out a chair and sat at the kitchen table facing Buffy's mother.
" Angel's taking me to the Prom" she watched the happy expression in Joyce's eyes change.
" Oh, that's nice"
" Could you try that with a little more enthusiasm next time? Mom, I know you worry about Angel.....l... "
" I worry about you" Joyce corrected.
" OK, I know that too, but I'm a big girl now " Sarah resisted the smile that threatened with the irony of that line, this was too serious a subject for smiles.This was also going to be a lot harder then she first believed.
" Buffy, you will always be my little girl no matter how old you are, my wish for you is something more... more *normal* for lack of a better word. A husband, a few children, a bright life"
Sarah studied the woman carefully, she knew she loved Buffy more than anything in the world, but she was looking at Buffy's world through rose coloured glasses. Buffy's world could never be normal.
" It's funny, I once dreamed of normal too, but I guess I missed the boat on normal when they made me *Slayer of the Year*"
" That doesn't stop me wishing you could find it!" Joyce wouldn't give up. Angel was simply the wrong choice for her daughter. She knew they could never be happy, happiness for Angel meant the end of the world for the rest of them. Buffy would never survive Angelus again.
" Angel's a good man" Sarah didn't need to be Buffy to understand that much, her own heart told her that Angel was truly a good man.
" Buffy, Angel's not a man at all, he's a demon, admittedly a demon with a soul but he's still a demon"
" Who happens to love your daughter with all his heart and soul" Sarah almost lost her temper, the woman was so biased.
" Honey, other boys will love you, nice normal boys who will offer you picnics and parties and days in the sun....all Angel can offer you is a world full of darkness" Joyce hated hurting her daughter but this had to be said, it was time to get her feelings out once and for all.
" Stop! I think a reality check is needed here. Look, I understand you don't want to hear about how a vampire makes your eighteen year old daughter feel" Sarah remembered the look that appeared in Buffy's eyes when ever Angel was around, the way she trembled with passion, ached with longing. No, it was not her place to tell Buffy's mother these things. She continued with the more practical issues.
" But as far as a world of darkness is concerned, that s the world the slayer *has* to live in. I've lived in that world since I was fifteen, a world where demons. destruction and death follow my every movement, a world where almost every inhabitant wants me dead. And in this dark and desolate place the only light I see is Angel, I know without a doubt that as long as Angel walks by my side in that darkness my back will always be covered. He's my shield, my armour. Angel would give his life for me without question as I would for him& Can't you see what would happen if I lost him&?" Sarah stopped.
** Wow! Where had that come from ** she suddenly felt as if Buffy had spoken those words and not her.
** Well, stranger things had happened, so why not** she reminded herself
She turned her attention back to Mrs. Summers and saw immediately the effect it had made on her. It was as if a light had gone on in the woman's head.
" Then we better make sure he never leaves " Joyce reluctantly gave in to all her prejudice, it was true, as long as Angel was in her daughter's life her daughter would have a life. Maybe it wasn't the life she'd wanted for her, but it was better than nothing.
Sarah kissed the woman's cheek and headed off to school.
**One down, one to go ** she smiled
***************
Angel lurked in the shadows of the Bronze, the air was not only filled with music it held all the sounds of humanity. Peoples' laughter, friends talking, lovers whispering Angel heard it all, and the closer he got to these people the more apart from them he knew he was. He always felt most alone in a crowd.
" Hey! Willow, all on your own tonight?" Angel spotted Buffy's best friend sitting all alone in a side booth.
" Hi Angel, I'm just waiting for Xander, he's late" Willow smiled up at the vampire. She could see his eyes already searching the darkest corners of the bronze again.
" I'm looking for Buffy, have you seen her?"
"No, I think she might be patrolling still" Willow shook her head and for the millionth time thought how perfect Angel was for her best friend,
**Well apart from the whole * Vampire* thing and then there was the *Curse* and the fact that Giles and Xander didn't really trust him any more and oh&**
" I just checked all the usual places, maybe I missed her" Angel went to walk away.
" You could wait here with me if you want, Buffy might come in with Xander"
Angel thought about it and decided that it was a possibility, Buffy could well be patrolling with Xander. He offered Willow a drink, which she declined and sat down opposite her. After a few minutes small talk Willow noticed Angel's mind was preoccupied.
" What's with the dire Angel?" Willow looked concerned, it hadn't taken her long to realise that something was really troubling the vampire.
" Nothing, really I'm fine" Angel quickly dismissed the question but he failed to hide the sadness that briefly appeared behind his eyes.
" And that nothing would be Buffy?"
Angel almost smiled, his whole life revolved around that very special *nothing*
**Was it so obvious? ** he thought sadly.
He was about to change the subject but then changed his mind; he felt he really did need to talk about what was worrying him.
" Willow is&.is Buffy seeing somebody&somebody else" he finally asked the question that had been haunting him for days.
Willows eyes widened in surprise. Angel just waited.
" Angel, Buffy thinks the sun rises in your eyes, she would NEVER look at anybody else" Willow finished, this was the very last thing she thought would worry Angel. Buffy loved him completely, faults and all.
Angel didn't look so convinced
" Owen, Tom, Scott..." Angel started reeling off a list of Buffy's past admirers. It wasn't just these *boys* that bothered him, he'd watched Buffy dancing from the shadows and seen how the young males of Sunnydale lusted after her.
Buffy had always dismissed the attention she received
**Them...Boy's... I like you**
Sadly, Angel knew that any one of those so called boys could give her a better life then he could, a life in the sun.
" No. No. No. Angel I'm so positive, there's no one else in Buffy's life, only you. Why would you think such a thing?"
Angel stood up and paced for a moment, he suddenly looked really vulnerable as he left himself wide open.
" She keeps calling me *David*, three times that name's come up " Angel turned to face Willow and she was shocked to see the heartache in his troubled face.
" Angel, I've honestly never heard of a David. She replied truthfully.
" I don't know what it is Willow, but there's some thing different about Buffy theses days, she's been so distant lately. At first I thought it might have something to do with the Mayor's speech, but it goes back further than that. Buffys changing, I can see it in her eyes, I can't give her the life she wants, I'm just holding her back."
"Angel, what the Mayor said was wrong! He's just a big stupid demon wannabe he doesn't know what you and Buffy have, he's the bad in all this. Just remember that Buffy loves you" Willow tried her hardest to pacify him.
" Yeah, the Mayor's evil all right" Angel agreed but he couldn't help thinking that he might just have a point, a valid point.
**Maybe Buffy would be better without him, especially now she was going to college in Sunnydale**
" Willow I'm going to do another sweep of the cemetery, I'll try the sewer as well" Angel turned and disappeared into the shadows.
The thought of Buffy and a normal life continued to plague his thoughts, after twenty minutes of searching and intense brooding he finally found Buffy.
Chasing a vampire into the sewer.
Part 5
Sarah stood by her bedroom window staring up at the full moon that illuminated the night's sky. A warm breeze filtered in through the window and wound its' way around her shoulders.
**Shooting stars and moonlight the perfect sky, a sky for lovers ** Sarah reflected sadly.
She didn't need to turn around to know that Buffy had appeared in the room, she just felt the connection between them now, and it grew stronger with each day. They might be separate souls from different dimensions but they shared an unknown destiny, and at this moment in time it was on very shaky ground.
Without a sound Buffy stood next to Sarah.
" I failed " Sarah didn't move her head she just continued to stare at the vivid craters on the moon.
" I know" was the only reply.
The two girls stood in total silence; neither questioned the other, the implications of what had happened in the sewer that night were still sinking in. They knew without words that they were now possibly damned, damned to walk in the wrong dimension and damned to walk alone.
After what seemed like an eternity, Sarah turned to face Buffy.
"Were you there?"
" No. I didn't need to be there, I could feel Angel's pain in here" Buffy raised her hand to her chest, her eyes looked lost in thought.
Sarah watched in admiration, she'd expected the Slayer to take her failure differently.
" I passed through the mansion before coming here, Angel looks so.."
" Heartbroken?" Sarah offered up the only word that seemed appropriate,
Buffy's bottom lip trembled; she only managed to nod her head before breaking down in tears.
" I feel like I can't breathe" she cried, her small shoulders shaking with each sob.
" I tried so hard believe me, every reason he gave to leave I hit straight back with a reason why he should stay."
She had as well, and not like the last time, this time Sarah had hit back hard.When Angel had started his noble *better then this freak show * speech Sarah then remembered every word that would follow, she took a long deep breath and counter attacked.
** CHILDREN**
"I can never have children, Angel. A pregnant slayer, I can see it now, I might as well wear a button that states * I'm now completely helpless, bite me*. Or maybe I could get a two for the price of one sticker?" she asked sarcastically.
Angel glared at her but Sarah was only just beginning
" But, just for arguments sake, let's say by some miracle I did manage to live through the pregnancy. That's when my nightmare would really begin, the child would be hunted by every evil creature on the face of this earth. Every vampire in town would see it as a personal challenge"
** IN TO THE LIGHT**
" Yes, just what I need when I spend most of my life in the dark."
Sarah dismissed that issue as insignificant she then turned her attack to more intimate matters
** SEX**
"Angel, making love with you was wonderful but I'm happy to wait, wait until a cure or a spell can be found. We never once checked your curse for a loop hole we just took it for granted it was the same"
When Angel still refused to listen, Sarah became more desperate. She couldn't let him leave Buffy; all their futures were on the line here.
" Or maybe I should find myself a nice college boy? A tall blonde hunk to fuck me silly while I forget all about you. Is that what you want?...Is it? "
For a brief moment Sarah thought she had won, Angel physically flinched, the expression on his face changed to agony at this prospect but then his sad eyes looked straight at her.
" That's the life you would have had if I'd stayed in the shadows like I was suppose to. You have to do what ever it takes to make your life happy, Buffy." Angel stood very still.
" You make me happy, I want my life to be with you"
" I don't "
*~*~*
Buffy's heart continued to break.
Sarah desperately wanted to comfort the distraught girl, but it was impossible, she just didn't have the words to help. Buffy really needed Willow at a time like this but, of course, that was impossible too.
" How long before he leaves?"
Sarah closed her eyes and reached deep into the recesses of her memory, small flickers of confusion was all she could find.
" He said he'd leave after the Ascension. I can see him dressed for the Prom though, I'm sure he still goes to the Prom I just can't remember, sorry. Buffy, I'll do everything I can to make him change his mind" Sarah offered hopefully.
Buffy seemed to take comfort in that thought.
" You have to make this work, Sarah. I want to come home" With no more to say Buffy faded from the room.
Sarah looked back towards the large full moon and sighed
" I want to go home too"
~*~*~*
After the prom...
Sarah took one last look at the beautiful pink dress and hung it away in Buffy's closet
"Hey!"
Sarah jumped, as always. She still found Buffy's sudden appearances hard to accept; then again she'd been expecting a visit from the translucent slayer for days now, ever since the prom ended.
" Well, what happened at the prom? Buffys voice was over excited.
Sarah immediately felt guilty.
The prom had been a really lovely evening, well apart from the hellhounds but even they were easily disposed of. Angel had arrived and swept her off her feet, she had found the vampire both intelligent and charming as they danced the night away. So charming that for a while it almost slipped her mind who she was really dancing with, *Angel* the vampire with a soul and not her friend David. Sarah thought fondly of her co-star and wondered if David was still visiting her in hospital, then shaking stupid thoughts from her head she put her mind back to the task ahead.
Angel had made it perfectly clear from the start that he was there for one night only. Sarah hoped as the night wore on that a chance to change his mind would materialise, but it didn't. She resisted the urge to push the subject any further for fear of making Angel's determination to leave even stronger and also she hated ruining such a perfect night. So they danced and they talked and when it was time to leave Angel had just disappeared silently into the darkness when she was saying goodbye to Willow and Oz.
Sarah understood his reluctance to say goodbye she just hoped he would keep his promise about not leaving until after the Ascension.
As the memory of the prom faded away, Sarah looked back into Buffys eyes, complete replicas of her own eyes in every way. The only real difference was Buffys eyes were so full of hope, hope Sarah knew would soon drain away.
" I'm sorry, Buffy. He's still leaving."
Right on cue. the light in those hazel eyes dimmed with disappointment only to be replaced with frustration.
" Did you really try?" Buffy demanded. She had put so much faith in Sarah's ability to change the past that the thought of failure was unacceptable. Buffy knew that the Prom was possibly the last opportunity they would get, after the disappointment of the sewer talk this was just too hard to accept, Sarah had now failed twice. The possibility of spending the rest of her life in a different dimension was becoming far too real, so was the possibility of spending that life without Angel
Sarah seethed at the injustice of Buffy's statement, she'd worked her ass off everyday since she'd arrived in this hellhole and this was the thanks she got. Buffy moved forward
" I'm so sorry I didn't mean that - of course you tried, it's just that I feel so helpless here. I'm used to kicking ass and getting what I want. If I was still there maybe I could....."
" Buffy, why the hell do you think I'm here, this has already been played out in my world, you didn't stop him then so what makes you think you could do any better this time?" Sarah interrupted her voice still tinged with annoyance.
" Angel is still leaving me even with your help, so could I possibly make it any worse?
" Fine! Just tell whoever's pulling our strings to switch us back right now, you can make the same mistakes all over again" Sarah was growing angry herself now. She hadn't asked for this leap, she hadn't asked for any of this mess. Sarah would be more then happy to go back to her own world and **Lay in intensive care with a bullet hole in your stomach** she reminded herself with a grimace. Things here were bad but, without Buffy's Slayer healing, her own body might have failed by now. Which ever way you looked at it they still needed each other whether they liked it or not.
Buffy was quiet for a moment as the impact of Sarah's unexpected outburst filtered through.
"Sarah, I want to know what happens"
" Your guess is as good as mine I still have no memory of fighting the Mayor" Sarah walked across the room and sat down on her bed.
" No, not the Ascension, I mean what happens in the future, once Angel leaves? I know you remember something about it because you told me there was never a reunion, how was that possible, how did we never work out our problems...what I'm asking is, what happens to me? Buffys voice was full of resentment and fear.
Sarah deliberated the question carefully.
**How should I start... Well first there was Parker and then Riley and..**
It was true she did remember the future, well large flashes of it at least. It was tomorrow and the next day she had the most trouble with. Sarah was convinced that TPTB that Buffy swore were responsible for all this had messed with her head, letting her remember only enough about the past to get her safely through each day. She remembered that there had never been a reunion quite clearly and she also remembered the reasons why. But when it came to pulling out images from this part of her past her jumbled mind failed to comply, leaving her with no idea how to stop the Mayor or Faith.
She considered the consequences of answering Buffy's question
** Did she really want to tell the girl the truth, was Buffy capable of handling such painful news.** Sarah wasn't at all sure.
**Do I tell her that after Angel leaves Sunnydale she forget about him in a heartbeat and moves on with her life as if he had never existed.... How about the part where she finds a nice normal guy and turns in to *Pod* Buffy for a couple of years, neglecting all her friends and her sacred duty. Oh, and there's the part where she goes to see Angel in LA and rubs Mr. Normal in his face and breaks his heart with her lies of trust and love. Then, finally, there's the part where Angel becomes human but never tells her, that was how the series ended, so yes there was never a reunion. **
It was a lot of pain for one person to have to live with, the knowledge that you had ruined your own life. That bitterness had been the downfall of B/A. Buffy's bitterness and the failure to understand the real reason that Angel had left her, because of that failure she had never truly forgiven him.
" Sarah?"
" I'm sorry but I can't tell you, the information you need just isn't there " Sarah lied. It was true; sometimes lies really were necessary.
She wasn't sure if the Slayer believed her or not, at that moment in time it really wasn't important. What was important was changing history so she could get the hell out of there and back home as soon as possible.
" Buffy, I'm obviously here to put right something that once went wrong, the PTB could easily change things without us being here if they wanted to, the trouble with this is, would lessons ever been learnt?. We have no choice except to play our parts and wait and see. And, as long Angel is still here in Sunnydale, there has to be hope, I'll just keep trying" Sarah rubbed her tired eyes and when she looked back she wasn't surprised to find that once again she was all alone.
~*~*~
Sarah walked slowly away from the murdered professor's home; she turned and glanced back at Angel
" You know what, thank you I can take it from here" Sarah reached out to retrieve the box full of research material. Angel's unexpected appearance had thrown her completely. She hadn't seen him for days and it had crossed her mind more than once that he might have left town already, and then with no warning what so ever he had *crashed* his way back into her life.
Angel, always the gentleman, had insisted on carrying the box and Sarah at first gave in, she simply didn't have the energy to argue with him. Sarah was just so tired, tired of tearing herself in two. Trying to fight the Mayor and his madness on one level and then fighting desperately to save Buffy and Angel's future on another. It was no wonder she felt so worn out; she had hardly slept for days. And that lack of sleep was beginning to have a real negative effect, twice she had come close to being overpowered by a vampire, and both times a scoobie had saved the day. Whatever TPTB wanted from her she hoped they made it clear soon because she was in serious danger of burning out.
" Buffy? Angel's voice broke into her deepest reverie.
" Sorry?"
" You looked to be somewhere else for a moment, miles away"
** That's got to be the understatement of the year** she almost laughed but then a strange feeling of foreboding washed over her.
Sarah immediately looked at Angel and saw he was still waiting for a response, the fear wasn't coming from his direction. She then warily turned her attention towards the street they were standing on. A terrifying fear of the unknown started creeping along every nerve ending in her body causing the tiny hairs on her arms to rise.
" Buffy, what's wrong?" Even Angel sounded slightly uneasy with the situation.
" I'm not sure exactly. There's something about this street, something I should remember...Come on we better get this information back to Giles as soon as possible"
Angel nodded his agreement, turned and started walking across the main street. Sarah went to follow but took one last glance up and down the street. This time her eyes were drawn to the illuminated cinema sign in the distance, the large, green letters *S U N* glowed brightly in the darkness.
**OH GOD. FAITH**
" ANGEL !!" Sarah screamed out the warning
The terrible cry stopped Angel dead in his tracks; he instinctively turned back towards the Slayer. As his eyes met Sarah's an arrow passed straight through his shoulder, just missing the vampire's heart. Angel gasped in surprise as the pain engulfed his body; he gripped Sarah's tiny shoulders for a few seconds before collapsing to the ground.
"Angel. Angel, oh God it was Faith" Sarah watched in horror as the whole shooting replayed in her mind
" Why do you always let me remember too late? How can I possibly change any of this" she cursed bitterly without thinking of the consequences.
Angel was in too much pain to notice Buffy's strange outburst; he lay trembling on the ground while a small crowd of on lookers watched with curiosity.
" I've got to get you to hospital" Sarah's was so frightened, although she knew he wouldn't die, the whole experience just freaked her out.
"No, Giles. Get the box to Giles; I'll be fine " Angel gritted his teeth as a fresh wave of pain hit him. Sarah nodded and slowly helped Angel to his feet
*~*~*~
" It was Faith" Sarah informed the two English Watchers as she carefully applied a dressing to Angels wound.
Wesley, the younger of the two, was already trying to decipher the professor's notes. Giles looked up at Buffy with interest.
" Are you sure? Did you happen to see her?"
" I didn't need to see her believe me I just know, call it Slayer instinct if you like. It's all part of the Mayor's plans" Sarah pulled another strip of sticking plaster and attached it to the dressing. She caught Angel's eyes for a moment and he smiled.
" But what I don't understand is, why they would go to so much trouble and then miss. Faith is a crack shot she really shouldn't have missed" Giles was confused, none of this made any sense to him.
" Oh no, it's poison" Sarah whispered.
At that very moment Angel had attempted to stand only to collapse to the floor once more.
Sarah flew to his side. The vampire was already burning up with fever as the poison quickly spread around his body; beads of perspiration now covered his handsome face.
Sarah gently stroked his forehead and whispered words of comfort.
" You're gonna be OK." She repeated
Angel's eyes stared deeply into hers causing Sarah to shiver. Emotions of sadness and longing mixed with deep regret reflected back at her. Her heart started to break for him
**Buffy** Sarah's mind called out to her dimensional twin. She felt the real Slayer should be there, Angel needed *his* Buffy at a time like this, not her. She tenderly stroked his face again in an attempt to ease his fear.
" You'll be fine, I promise" any other thought was unacceptable to her. In the short time she had known this beautiful man, Sarah had come to care for him in her own way. She felt his loneliness and it was something the actress in her understood only too well. As she slowly came to understand the deep love these two soulmates held for each other, she re-evaluated her own life and knew that when things changed, and she went home, she would never settle for second best again. Sarah would search for her own Angel, because somewhere out there she knew a soulmate was waiting for her.
" Right let's move Angel to the safety of his own bed, call the others it's going to be a long night " Giles said bringing things back into perspective
Sarah was relieved when the ex watcher took over the practical issues, now all she had to worry about was getting through to Buffy.
Part 6
" Buffy, Buffy" Angel thrashed wildly about in his bed continually calling his lover's name .
" I'm here" Buffy whispered softly into his ear.
Sarah sat quietly by the side of Angels bed. She gently bathed his head with a wet cloth hoping to break the raging fever that was attacking his whole body. She had to try something, anything to ease the vampire's pain and stop her feeling totally helpless.
Angel had been calling out Buffy's name for hours, so far everything Sarah had tried to pacify the dying vampire had failed. If was as if his unconscious self knew the difference between her and the real Slayer, he didn't want Sarah, he wanted Buffy. Sarah feared he was holding out just long enough to see Buffy before he died.
Just when Sarah had given up all hope of Buffy showing in time the translucent slayer appeared.
As soon as Buffy's soul had entered the dimension and softly whispered into Angel's ear, his body had responded. The thrashing slowed and he murmured quietly as sleep calmed him.
Buffy's terrified eyes had then turned back towards Sarah.
" It's poison and it's deadly" Sarah replied to the unanswered question, she then proceeded to explain all the events that had led to this tragedy.
" Help him, you have to help him " Buffy begged as she stared back towards the bed. Angel was dying right before her very eyes and she was powerless to save him herself.
Suddenly Buffy's expression changed.
" Did this happen before?" she asked still confused, This didn't make sense, there was no reason for Angel's poisoning that she could see .If they wanted a vampire dead there were far easier and quicker ways, poison wasn't one of then.
" It did, I remembered too late to save him, Faith wants you and Angel both out of the picture when the Mayor ascends. What better way than to poison your lover and leave you hunting for a way to cure him, even a Slayer can't be in two places at once. The little bitch was really clever this time, I should have known earlier"
Sarah felt the guilt start to grow again.
" You're always too late" Buffy replied bitterly, she was so angry she had to take her frustration out on somebody and sadly Sarah was the only one around. Buffy wanted to kill something, anything. No, Buffy knew exactly who she wanted to kill, a certain dark haired slayer.
" Maybe I'm not too late, I'll not let him die Buffy, I know the cure, Slayers' blood. I'll fight Faith" Sarah's voice grew stronger with determination, she too was angry now, angrier than she had ever been in her life.
By the time the scoobie gang had discovered the only cure, Sarah had already remembered. The prospect of fighting Faith had terrified her but, sadly, she knew it was the only choice they had.
" Sarah you can't fight Faith, she's a real Slayer and she's at full strength. I'm not sure I could even take her, although the way I'm feeling I'd have a really good try. But you... you have to remember you're not really me, you only have part of my strength and its nowhere near 100%. Faith will kill you"
" Maybe, maybe not. I won't let Angel die and do you really want to stop me?" Sarah knew from the look in Buffy's eyes that she was truly worried for her double's safety, she also saw something else in the slayers eyes, a look of hopelessness. If Angel or Sarah died nothing would ever be the same again.
They both looked down at the deteriorating Vampire and knew there was very little time.
" Good luck" Buffy didn't know what else to say.
" It's not luck we need, Buffy. It's a miracle".
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Buffy watched Sarah leave the room she then sat down on the side of the bed to watch Angel sleep. She knew it was dangerous staying in this dimension for so long but quickly pushed the thought away. Sarah's body was stronger now, she should be able to leave it much longer.
**Besides, did any of it matter anymore? If Sarah was killed by Faith they were all damned anyway** Buffy wouldn't leave Angel's side until she was sure one way or another.
After a while the sound of small footsteps entered the room, Buffy nearly smiled at the sight of her best friend. Willow walked over to the bedside and perched timidly on the side of the bed, she picked up the damp cloth and bathed Angel's head as Sarah had done earlier.
As the cool water soothed Angel's aching head he started to call out again in delirium.
" Buffy"
" I'm here " Buffy tried desperately to reassure her love.
" You've been looking over me?"
" Always" Buffy breathed deeply she wasn't sure if Angel could hear her but she was certain he could feel her presence.
Willow looked down at Angel, he seemed to be staring straight through her. She jumped a little as the vampire caught her hand in his and pressed his cool lips to it.
" Well, we've been taking turns" she mumbled feeling a little awkward.
" I thought I'd never see you again" he continued to caress Willows hand.
In his delirious state Angel had confused the words in his head with the girl holding his hand, he knew Buffy was there he could feel her everywhere.
" Please, Angel don't say that. I'm coming home soon just hold on" tears ran freely down the Slayers face.
" I can't leave you. I was wrong, I need you"
" I need you too" she was sobbing now and longed desperately to hold him one last time.
" Oh, you mean you need Buffy"
Willow's voice brought Angel back to reality, he struggled for a moment to focus on the redhead holding his hand, he had been so sure he was talking to Buffy, he had felt her, heard her words.
"Willow?"
" Yes, right Willow" she gave a small apologetic smile.
"Where is she?"
" I'm still here. Rest now beloved, please rest" Buffy's sweet voice soothed into his head again, Angel lay his head back on the pillow and, with Willow's reassurance that Buffy would be there soon, he drifted off to sleep.
Gently climbing off the bed Willow walked outside to tell her boyfriend how Angel had mistaken her for Buffy, a few moments later Sarah looking very much the worse for wear walked through the door.
Oz was the first to ask the question.
" Did you find Faith?" he really wasn't surprised with the answer, it was written all over *Buffys* face.
"How is he?"
" He comes in and out, I think the pain is&less now"
At that point Sarah had asked Buffy's friends if she could be alone with Angel, they agreed to the request promising they would do everything in their power to find another cure.
*****
" You couldn't do it could you?" Buffy walked away from Angel's bedside and towards Sarah.
" Actually I think I might have, if the fates hadn't stepped in. You were right of course I was no match for Faith" Sarah absentmindedly rubbed her split lip.
" Faith would have killed me I have no doubt about that. Oh, I gave as good as I got at first, I seemed to frighten her for a while but then she threw me through the large glass windows and everything changed. We were fighting outside and Faith's strength seemed to grow as mine gave out. I soon realised it was all over"
" But you re here, you're alive. Where's Faith now?"
Sarah shook her head as she continued to relive the horrific experience, her hands trembled slightly confirming she was still slightly in shock.
" We ended up fighting on the roof, I knocked her down twice but she threw me against the outside ledge and it stunned me for a moment, when I looked up at her she was just standing there gloating. I think we both saw the knife at the same time, when Faith tried to reach for it she lost her balance&she just fell." Sarah took a deep breath and tried to steady her shaking hands.
" She seemed to fall forever and then there was this sickening thud as her body landed in a passing truck. By the time I climbed down the side of the building the truck was long gone"
All the time Sarah had been retelling her story Buffy had remained remarkably calm.She had hoped, prayed even, for Sarah's success but in all honesty she knew it was destined to failure. Faith was simply too strong and if the fates or whatever hadn't intervened Sarah would be dead by now.
" Well, it looks like door number two"
Sarah looked up
" Pardon?" ** Didn't Buffy understand, Faith was their only chance and that chance was now long gone. There was no door number two**
" Angel needs blood, Slayers blood. And Faith's not the only Slayer in town, Angel can feed from me. In a way this is probably for the best; Angel has enough guilt without adding Faith to the list."
Sarah watched as her double's light flickered, then her eyes widened in disbelief as she asked.....
" You mean me?" the true implication slowly sank in.
Buffy simply nodded.
" It's still my body Sarah, it's my blood, Slayer blood. You said yourself that this has all happened once before, we know in that dimension Angel left me, so in your world he couldn't have died. Look if we want to save him there really is no other choice, we've exhausted all our options." Buffy waited, giving Sarah just enough time to accept the inevitable
It was true Angel must have survived before so the chances were that he would survive again. The only difference this time was that he would be feeding from her and not Buffy. Sarah knew she had inherited some of Buffy's powers, she just prayed it was enough.
The two girls then turned and looked towards Angel, they could see he was growing weaker by the minute. The poison spread, continuously working it's evil. At this rate Angel would be dead by morning.
" It's all up to you" Buffy told the actress truthfully.
" Then let's do it"
******
"Get away from me" Angel staggered, with the little strength he still possessed, to put as much distance between him and Buffy as he possibly could. What Buffy had just suggested was unthinkable.
** Drink, drink me**
"Get away from me" he begged as his legs gave way.
" Hit him!!" Buffy, shouted.
"WHAT?" Sarah couldn't believe what the Slayer had ordered her to do.
" Angel will never feed from me by his own free will, we need to release the demon. Hit him!!"
Sarah smashed her fist straight into the startled vampire face. The force knocked him back for a moment but then Angel's head jerked back his face was a picture of confusion.
" Again! " Buffy shouted.
Once again Sarah repeated the strike and once again Angel's head snapped back.
" Harder, damn it!!" Buffy was almost screaming now. She hated seeing her lover hurt but she knew it was the only way to save him.
The third strike felt different, the vampire growled and when Sarah looked up she came face to face with glowing yellow eyes.
For the briefest moment Angel fought the demon but the struggle was in vain. The smell of Buffy's blood was too intoxicating, the need too great. Sarah pulled her top to one side to expose Buffy's slender throat ,she gripped Angel's neck firmly in her hand and forced his head down with all her might. The battle Angel bravely fought was lost.
Sarah was terrified and yet at the same time she knew it was the right decision, the only decision. As Angel's cold lips closed on to her neck she shivered with anticipation, braced herself for the pain and prayed one last time that Buffy was right.
Razor sharp fangs then sliced into her neck. The sensations she felt were indescribable, first pain surged over her in agonising waves and then as Buffy's blood flowed in to the vampire's mouth she felt something change. The pain was replaced by new feelings, a strong sense of peace calmed her fears and a warm dizziness made her feel like she was floating.
Sarah didn't remember falling to the floor or crushing a jug that lay nearby. Her head was filled with images, everything she had seen these last few weeks flashed in front of her. Buffy's life jumbled up with pictures of her own life. David changing into Angel and then changing back into David. Image after image danced around her eyes until her head was spinning and she no longer knew who or what she was.
As the pictures faded from her mind Sarah shot her leg out so hard it smashed a small table into firewood.
She then lay trembling as Angel's cold mouth continued sucking at her throat draining her blood.
**No. This is Buffys blood** her head screamed out in denial.
A final wave of dizziness then covered her whole body leading her into unconsciousness.
******
Sarah slowly opened her eyes and saw she was in a hospital room. At first she felt relief, thinking she had made her way back home, but then she raised her hand slowly to her neck and found the fresh dressing there, she wasn't home at all. The wound beneath the dressing was painful but it had already started to heal, she looked around the room for Angel but knew he wouldn't be there.
That wasn't the only thing Sarah knew, she now remembered the whole accession, everything she needed to fight the mayor right down to the last detail. Slowly pulling herself from the bed, Sarah walked gingerly through the curtain dividing her cubicle with the adjoining one. She moved over to the bed where a still, dark haired, figure lay. Casting her eyes over the tubes and monitors softly beeping their sad lullaby, Sarah reached out and held Faith's hand. She remembered Buffy's dream talk with the coma bound girl, she remembered *the key* - human weakness, the Mayor's human weakness
"Thank you Faith, someday we'll make this right for you, I promise."
Swiftly, she moved back to her cubicle and looked around for her clothes and dressed quickly. They didn't have a second to lose.
With the battle plan firmly printed in her head, Sarah walked out to face Buffy's friends. There was one small detail she had to put right before she left the hospital, Sarah had to make each and everyone of them understand why Angel had fed from *Buffy*. They had to know that Angel was a dying man and * Buffy* was the Slayer, he couldn't have stopped her even if he'd tried.
**And he had tried** Sarah thought sadly, she could only imagine the guilt that Angel would have to live with now, **Well that was something Angel and Buffy would have to live with**.
Her job now was convincing the scoobie gang that Angel was still the good guy here and once that was accepted and understood, they could all get ready..... FOR WAR
Part 7
Once the ascension started Sarah's only thoughts were of staying Alive.
Each of the students had an important part to play and if the Mayor thought they would simply lie down and die, he was in for the shock of his long life.
The Scooby gang had brought all their classmates together; old rivals stood side by side in their determination to stop the Mayor and his ascension.
Earlier that day in the library, Sarah had come face to face with Angel for the first time. Her heart sunk again with disappointment when he confirmed he was still determined to leave. Secretly she wondered if feeding from Buffy had been the final straw. Pushing that disappointment to one side, she continued with the battle plan. She would worry about Angel later, fighting the ascension now had to take priority
** What good would it do if they were all dead** Sarah thought realistically as she planned each detail.
They discovered the Mayor's weakness was for Faith, Angel explained how he had witnessed the mayor seriously grieving over the dark-haired Slayer at the hospital and how he had attacked Buffy. Sarah, of course, already knew exactly how to use this information.
So Graduation Day came to pass. The class of 1999 took their seats and, as the approaching eclipse darkened the sky, they each faced their destiny.
There had been casualties of course. As in all wars, casualties were a fact of life and Sarah knew Buffy would grieve the loss of her classmates deeply. In her own way, Sarah knew she would grieve as well.
After the transformation Snyder, the Head Master had been one of the first victims. He had shouted and cursed with each bite. After that hell on earth had taken over.
In the turmoil that followed Sarah lost track of everybodies' movements and went after the Mayor himself.
The Mayor, or the gigantic demon he had changed into, towered above her with what seemed to be a gleam of satisfaction in its eyes.
Sarah called out catching his attention.
" Hey!...Dick! ... Shame about poor old Faith, I pushed her right off that roof. Boy did she bounce" Sarah sneered.
It had only taken him a second to take the bait, the chase was on, and then the dynamite had taken the Demon Mayor. It was as simple as that.
With the Ascencion defeated, what remained of his minions soon fled the high school and the class of 1999 started to pick up the pieces.
Xander had been the first to confirm that Angel had survived the battle, Sarah smiled her thanks and continued her search. She watched as Wesley was lifted into an ambulance and then spoke a few words to Giles.
The *fire bad, tree pretty* speech made a lot more sense to her now
" Where is he?" Buffy appeared out of the smoke, it was the first time Sarah had seen her since Angel had fed. From the look on her face, it was obvious that the Slayer had been watching the recent events.
She watched as Buffy frantically searched the devastation for signs of Angel and she turned her tired body to help the Slayer.
Sarah was exhausted; she had never felt so tired or depressed in all her life. She had fought, with every ounce of strength she had, to keep Angel from leaving Buffy, but she had failed. Despite everything, Angel was still leaving now the ascension was over. The victory had been won but neither Sarah or Buffy could find any reason to celebrate. As far as they were concerned, they were both now doomed to walk in each other's dimensions.
The smoke cleared a little, Sarah turned her head and saw him, standing between two fire trucks, just staring at her.
Her heart jumped, there was one last chance, and it was now or never.
" Please do something " Buffy had also caught sight of her lover and was begging Sarah to help.
Sarah looked over at Angel and, as their eyes met, she shivered. She saw all the love, longing, torment and pain and her heart broke into a million pieces for the lonely vampire. Sarah recognised in that one glance that Angel was fighting the hardest battle of his life, all it would take was one step.
"Please" Buffy sobbed desperately.
** A chance to put right something that once went wrong** the voice in her head told her
Sarah's foot moved forward.
Slowly she covered the short distance between them, coming to a stop mere inches away. She looked up into his eyes.
" Buffy" the word was whispered in agony.
Sarah gently ran a finger down his beautiful face
" This is so hard" Tears ran freely down his pale cheeks
" I know " Sarah whispered trying desperately to control her own feelings.
" I have to go, please understand" Angel pleaded, he knew he had to be strong and fight the pain that was begging him to stay.
Sarah looked at him, he was almost destroying himself by leaving Buffy but he really had no choice. If he stayed he'd destroy them both Then as if from nowhere everything became perfectly clear.
She moved her hand to his face and softly brushed away a stray tear.
" I know and I do understand" she admitted.
Everything was so clear now; it was as if TPTB had finally given her the answers she'd fought so hard to find. Angel had no choice, he had to leave not just to keep Buffy safe from the demon inside him, not even to give her the chance at a normal life he thought she was desperate for.
No, Angel had to leave if he was ever going to save himself.
Sarah knew that if the lovers were ever to be together again, Angel had to leave.
She wasn't there to stop him, **oh God** she was there to set him free, set him on the road to his destiny. The road that would one day, hopefully lead right back to here.
" Sarah! No!" Buffy 's tormented voice called out from behind her.
" It's not that I don't lov.."
" She knows" Sarah stopped him, she tried so hard to smile but couldn't stop the single tear running down her own face.
She'd completely missed her own mistake, but Angel didn't question it.
Angel then took a step back, he couldn't kiss her, and he couldn't hold her, he was too afraid he'd never let her go.
Meanwhile, Buffy's heart was breaking at what she first thought was Sarah's betrayal. She moved until she was standing right next to them. Buffy watched as the look on Angel's tormented face almost changed to relief. She closed her eyes and seemed to breathe deeply; then her own expression changed as she turned to Sarah.
" I understand...Now. " Buffy said sadly
Sarah's eyes filled with sympathy for the heartbroken girl and wondered if she really understood the message The Powers That Be had been working overtime to get through to the two girls.
Buffy tried to touch Angel's face but it was impossible.
" Tell him that" her voice trembled slightly
Sarah looked at Angel and her voice became so gentle as she spoke
" You have to go, I understand.
" Always watch your back" Angel's voice was almost at breaking point.
" Hey! Slay girl remember supernatural powers, just make sure somebody watches yours " she whispered.
Angel nodded that he understood, the relief shone brightly in his soulful eyes. He simply wasn't capable of speech any longer. He leaned forward and, just as his lips touched Sarah's, an uncontrollable impulse overtook her. Placing her small hands on either side of his face, she kissed him - really kissed him. Sarah felt him start with surprise, but she deepened the kiss. Drawing back, she saw his eyes open wide in surprise. At some level, Angel recognised Buffy was different, her kiss was different. Not giving him time to question her, Sarah placed her hands firmly on his chest and pushed out. As the tears slipped down her face she whispered brokenly...*Go, go now*
As he moved away, he took her hands and held them as the distance between them grew. As the slow seconds passed, the contact was broken and Sarah watched Angel merge with the fog and smoke surrounding them.
She took a deep, shuddering, breath and turned - to face a Slayer in full rage. Buffy's face was contorted with so much anger, she couldn't speak. She turned on her heel and sped away from Sarah, in the opposite direction to Angel.
Sarah sighed and walked slowly to join Xander, Willow, Oz and Cordelia. After surveying the burnt shell of the school behind them, the group gradually made their way home.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Arriving back at Buffy's home, Sarah slowly dragged her body up the stairs, needing to hang on to the bannister for leverage all the way. Shudders wracked her slim frame as her body screamed for an end to this weariness. She was aware of pain starting to radiate through every cell, seeming to centre on her stomach.
Moving into her bedroom, she came face to face again with a Slayer whose rage hadn't abated.
*How dare you? What game are you playing? How dare you kiss my lover like that?*
As Buffy screamed her fury she struck out at Sarah, but her arm passed straight through the exhausted actress.
*Listen to me, Buffy*
*Listen to you, Listen to You?? What game are you playing? I don't think you ever intended to help me at all!*
"Buffy, be quiet a moment and listen, I know how you feel....."
Before she could finish, the out of control Slayer launched into another tirade. But Sarah had had enough..
*WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TO ME !!* holding her stomach, Sarah gingerly lowered herself onto the bed, her outburst taking her last ounce of energy.
*We haven't got much time and there are things that need to be said* she watched the open mouthed girl and realised that TPTB were playing their tricks again, they hadn't made Buffy understand.
*Buffy, Angel had to leave to find his way in this world, He needs to find the reason for his existence and why he was brought back from hell. He needs time to learn to live in this world and you need to grow up*
With the last comment, Sarah could see the young Slayer fill with rage again. She held out her hand in a conciliatory gesture.
*You need time too. Buffy. I know you find it hard to believe, but it's not that long since I was eighteen.* Sarah's voice softened.
*I know what it's like to be different, to not be able to live a normal life. I know what it's like not to have your father around and to watch your life crumbling about you. You might think that you're the only one who fights demons? Come and live in tinselltown and see what I fight every day......and yes, I know how you feel right now. That gaping hole where your heart used to be? Believe it or not it will heal - in time.
And meanwhile, you need to live your life and, as you do, you'll learn and grow. You'll make mistakes and you'll make choices, not always the right ones but..........*
*~*~*~*~*~*
Sarah opened her eyes.
" Hello sleepy head"
Sarah blinked a couple of times before her eyes fully focussed.
" Angel?" Her voice came out as nothing more than a croak.
David quirked his eyebrows.
" Angel?" he laughed.
Sarah pulled her hands to her sides and struggled to sit up.
" Hey, not so fast, you've been asleep a long time, if you're not careful you'll tear out your stitches " David voiced his concern
" No, I feel fine" Sarah reassured him
" You had me worried sick, Sarah"
She looked at the dark rings underneath his eyes and a warm feeling filled her.
" You don't look too hot yourself " a small smile played around her lips.
David's soft laughter filled her head again as he gently laid her back into the pillow.
" Come on be a good girl and behave yourself, you'll get the doctor yelling at me if I let you undo all their hard work" he suddenly smiled brightly.
" Angel never smiled like that" for a moment Sarah's eyes held a faraway look.
" That's the second time you've mentioned Angel" David asked with curiously
" David, I've got to talk to you. It's so important"
" Nothing's that important. You rest now, we will talk later" David softly stroked her hair.
" I had the strangest dream, David. A dream about Buffy and Angel... We must do a reunion " Sarah yawned as her eyes started to droop again.
" That's strange, I've been thinking a lot about them too, when you're better I've got this great idea" David stopped speaking when he noticed Sarah was fast asleep.
He straightened the sheet over her body and then pressed a soft kiss into the top of her hair.
" Sleep, Sarah. Buffy and Angel are not going anywhere for the time being, but when you're better we'll put it right, I promise." He whispered.
Epilogue.
Sunnydale... 9 years from graduation day.
Buffy stood outside the ruins of the old high school, reminiscing.
Graduation day now felt like a lifetime ago, and what a lifetime it had been.
She thought back to her college years, her beloved friends and smiled. Her life had been so full and yet at the same time something had always been missing.
After Angel and Sarah had both left that fateful night Buffy had reassessed her life and learned a lot. She had thrown herself into becoming the greatest Slayer of them all. Surrounding herself with family and friends, Buffy had gone on to defeat every threat the evil dimensions had thrown at her. With each new victory she had grown stronger, stronger and wiser.
Two years after the Ascencion, Buffy took her courage in her hands and visited Faith at her correctional facility. The serene and compassionate young woman she met there was a far cry from her fiery Co-Slayer; they fell into each others arms, crying and laughing, apologising and reminiscing. The regular visits continued until Faith's release and she joined Buffy in Sunnydale, sharing the battles and slaying.
As the years passed Buffy changed, she grew more beautiful and lovesick young men lost their hearts all over town. As much as she found the attention flattering , except for the disastrous relationship with Riley, she never forgot Angel. She'd followed his progress over the years, always keeping to the unspoken rule, distance, nine years of keeping their distance. It had hurt but it had also worked.
Buffy stopped complaining about how unfair her life had become and just got on with living it. She tried to combine the supernatural side of her life with the normal and in most parts it clicked.
A few men passed through her life, she dated, she danced and she laughed but she never really loved. Nobody ever found their way into her soul again.
Buffy knew that Angel had pretty much done the same, the fact that Angelus had never returned to kill her was a pretty good sign that the curse was still intact.
It comforted her in a strange way to know that in their hearts neither had recreated that one moment of perfect happiness again.
So the years had passed. Battle's had been fought, wars won, Armageddon defeated at least a couple of times and each time the world kept turning, each time Buffy and Angel had given the world a brand new day.
In the last battle they lost Faith. As Buffy knelt and cradled the dark haired girl, her tears dropped softly to merge with the blood seeping through Faith's shirt.
Her sister Slayer reached up to brush the tears from Buffy's face.
*Hey B, don't cry! I'm going home........but I'll come back to watch over you*
With her last words, Faith's hand fell and Buffy heard the final sigh of life leave her friend. She raised her eyes to see Angel standing before them with indescribable grief ravaging his beautiful face.
He bent and lifted the dead Slayer in his arms, waiting for Buffy to rise to her feet. Silently, the three friends bound by destiny, made the final journey home.
And finally after all the dedication came the reward.
As she stood at the top of the steps, she remembered Sarah's words.
*You'll learn and grow and you'll make choices. Not always the right ones*
A wry smile quirked Buffy's lips, *Yep, you had that right Sarah*
*But each choice you make, each step you take will make you stronger*
Buffy turned away from the high school she waited patiently as Angel slowly walked towards her, his tall handsome body bathed in golden sunlight.
After all the fighting, all the pain, *Shanshu* was achieved and granted.
Buffy's smile grew with every step he took because every step brought him closer, closer to that happy ever after that was now awaiting them.
And she remembered the very last words she heard Sarah say....
".....and with each step you will grow into the woman that the *Man* Angel will love...*
" Thank you Sarah " she whispered as Angel crushed her into his large arms.
At that precise moment in another dimension.
David wrapped Sarah into his arms.
" CUT" called Joss " That's a wrap"
Sarah looked up and smiled into her co-star's eyes, they had kept their promise and delivered the closure that was needed. Needed for Buffy and Angel but also needed for them.
** Thank you Sarah** the voice was whispered in the breeze but Sarah heard it all the same. Not only did she hear it she understood it.
She felt the most wonderful feeling of gratitude flood over her, it reached right into her soul and she knew somewhere out there in a place called Sunnydale a vampire slayer and her Angel would be together forever.
David raised a thumb to her face and wiped away a lone tear.
" Sarah? Are you ok?"
She breathed deeply and smiled.
" I feel wonderful" she replied truthfully.
" Hey! I was thinking, now this is all over what do you say you and me go get some coffee, sometime ?" David waited.
Sarah smiled and remembered the promise she'd made a long time ago to find her own *Angel*.
Leaning forward she softly kissed his mouth.
" That sounds pretty good too"
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