Part 17

The two small golden rings danced as they hit the hard wooden desktop, each reverberating in a spiralling circle before coming to rest in the silent room.

Gripping the now empty envelope tightly in his hand, Angel stood quietly by his desk. He knew this was a pivotal moment and his dark enigmatic eyes swept eagerly over his wife's face, searching for any sign of recognition that the two rings had triggered a memory.

From the second he had taken Buffy's small hand and led her into the study, Angel knew that there was no turning back. This was the moment he had waited for, dreamed about for weeks and yet, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that Buffy knowing was for the best, a tiny voice deep inside his head protested that this was possibly the biggest mistake of his life.

If the information Buffy was about to learn upset her and she ran away again, he would never forgive himself.

**But how could they continue to live in the dark**

Angel already knew the answer.

**They couldn't**

If he and Buffy were ever to have any kind of a future together, they had no choice but to confront the past. No matter how painful.

As uncomfortable seconds slipped into eternity, Angel's heartbeat thundered in his ears and a thin sheen of sweat coated his palms.

Taking a deep breath that did little to ease the tension knotting his insides, Angel nervously licked his lips.

The truth was so close now he could almost taste it.

Confronted with the sight before her, Buffy found she could no longer breath. When a surge of fear and anticipation swept over her shocked body and threatened to send her spinning towards a black, silent abyss, she reached out a trembling hand and gripped the edge of the desk to prevent herself from toppling in.

Struggling to stay in the land of reality, her horrified eyes froze, mesmerised by the two tiny bands of gold that now lay glistening on the dark wooden desk.

Next to the folded sheet of writing paper, the simple wedding band and a diamond solitaire engagement ring called out to her tormented mind to remember.

For a moment, flickers of something resembling pain danced behind Buffy's eyelids as her memory taunted and teased her. Emotions she didn't understand rose to the surface of her consciousness only to submerge and leave her feeling confused and bereft.

The rings called out to her, tiny whispers floated inside her head like a lost dream, but no matter how far Buffy reached, the memories slipped through her fingers like the early morning mist.

Looking for something to cling to, Buffy thought back to the day she had woken up in the hospital. She had questioned her lack of rings then but at the time there had been so much confusion following the accident that nobody could confirm ever seeing them. Not wanting to make a fuss about a little bit of jewellery when so many of the other passengers had died, Buffy accepted the loss without question. Once she had returned home the subject hadn't rose again.

Until now.

Almost too afraid to hope, Angel's heart leap as Buffy moved her right thumb over the naked third finger on her left hand.

As he stood watching the turmoil play across her features, he relived that last fateful day over and over in his own memory, The day when his once perfect world had cracked and splintered all around him.

~*~*~* Four months earlier~*~*~

6. 45 am

Slinging out a long muscular arm, Angel cut off the annoying buzz of the alarm clock that had not only jolted him awake from his slumber, but had also ripped him from the most wonderfully erotic dream. Laying back against the soft fluffy pillows, a large satisfying grin crept across his handsome features as the last fragments of his night time fantasy lingered on the edge of his memory.

**He and Buffy would definitely have to put that little dream into practice sometime in the very near future**

As his thoughts turned to the sleeping woman by his side, Angel turned his head and the smug statement was quickly replaced with a tender smile. Softly reaching over, he swept a stray lock of silky blonde hair away from Buffy's cheek and thrilled at the smoothness beneath his fingertips.

Even after almost two years of marriage, Angel still marvelled at how fortunate his life had become. Meeting Buffy Summers and making her his wife was his greatest blessing.

Although he had an early breakfast meeting planned with Lindsey, before a full day in court, some things in life really were more important. For a few blissful minutes, Angel was content just to watch his wife sleep. Stirring slightly, Buffy looked so utterly adorable that he felt his heart constrict as he was swamped by a whole range of emotions.

Love, loyalty, passion and pride. She touched him in ways he couldn't even begin to explain. From the first moment the petite blonde girl had breezed into his life, she had changed it forever.

And that was the blessing Angel thanked God for every morning he woke up.

As the digital seconds on the bedside clock, flashed by far too quickly, and unable to put off their inevitable parting any longer, Angel leant forward and brushed his lips softly across Buffy's rosebud mouth.

Still happily in the land of dreams, Buffy sighed softly in recognition of her mate and parted her lips, inviting his tongue deeper into her mouth. For Buffy, this really was the greatest way to wake up.

Smiling at her response, Angel dropped a feather light kiss on the tip of her nose.

"Wake up sleepy head, its time to get up"

Keeping her eyes firmly closed, Buffy snuggled in to his side and pretended not to have heard the wakeup call. She adored the warmth of his hard body pressing against her skin and always made waking up last as long as possible.

"I know you're awake" Angel's soft voice teased. It was the same game every morning. Both were putting off the separation for as long as they could.

Buffy snuggled closer.

"Just a few more minutes" Her warm breath brushed against his shoulder.

With a groan of disappointment, Angel started to sit up.

"As much as I'd love to spend the whole day in bed with you, It's almost 7am "

When Buffy felt his warm body moving away from her, she finally opened her sleepy hazel eyes.

"You could always ring in sick" She smiled seductively.

Angel quirked an eyebrow

"Then we could stay in bed all day" Buffy was teasing him and her eyes sparkled, because she knew for a split second that he was actually considering the idea.

**Maybe they could try that dream?... No.. ** Angel silently groaned again.

As work commitments returned to his mind, he knew as tempting as a day in bed with Buffy sounded, this time he would have to regretfully pass up the offer.

"I'm sure you have a hundred things to do today. You haven't forget that Cordy is flying in this weekend?"

Buffy rolled her eyes.

"How could I possibly forget a visit from your dear sister" She sighed but her voice was full of mischief.

Buffy didn't really resent Angel's sister paying a visit, she just hated having to share him with anybody. With Dawnie away at school now, their weekends together had become a time they both cherished. They would lock the door to the outside world and just focus on making each other as perfectly happy as was humanly possible.

"She's only in town for a few days"

Angel smiled, he then slipped his hand beneath the sheets and ran his fingertips across the naked flesh of his wife's tight stomach.

"I guess we could pretend to be out when she calls" Buffy grinned this time and Angel started to chuckle.

"You are so evil " His fingers continued to caress her skin with feather-light circles.

Buffy gave a little moan as her blood started to flow faster along her veins.

She loved it when he flirted with her.

"I know, but that's why you love me" Buffy flirted right back.

"Oh, really. And there I was thinking I loved you because you were smart and sexy and funny and beautiful and ..." Angel's fingertips moved slowly up her ribcage, brushing against the skin in away he knew would drive her crazy.

When he purposely missed touching her breasts, Buffy gasped.

"Okay. Stop crawling. Your sister can stay "

With a chuckle, Angel levered up on one elbow, leaning forward; he used a slow, deliberately sensual smile that he knew always melted Buffy's heart

"Well.. " His soft velvety voice started with a purr that sent shivers through his wife's blood. She knew immediately that he wasn't playing fair.

" Because Cordelia's going to be here all weekend, how about I spoil you tonight instead. A romantic dinner for two, followed by a night at the bronze. What do you think?" Bringing his hand from beneath the sheets, he reached up and softly stroked her cheek

Buffy lifted her eyelashes and her eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Throw in a night of red hot sex and you have a deal"

"You're insatiable "

"What can I say, I love your body." Buffy snaked out a slender arm and running it over the firm abs of Angel's muscular chest, she felt her lover shiver in anticipation. " Especially when it's inside of mine" The smoky passion reflected in her eyes was too much for her husband's restraint.

Angel groaned and rolled her over on to her back.

"God, you're going to make me *so* late this morning"

As their lips met in a deep searing kiss all thoughts of court cases, sisters and the outside world were temporally forgotten.

For the young lovers, their time together was far too short and making love far too much fun.

Thirty minutes later Angel laid back against his pillow and letting out a deep sigh of contentment, closed his eyes

"I love you" Buffy softly kissed his shoulder.

"I love you too"

For a moment the two lovers lay silent, content just to hold each other as the world passed them by.

When Angel finally turned his head towards the alarm clock, reality kicked back in, and he laughed.

"I'm going to be so late"

***

Later that night

Closing the door of his car, Angel muttered a silent curse as his eyes caught sight of the time. He had promised Buffy a night out and he was already two hours late.

**Bloody Darla Penn** Angel cursed again as he struggled with the most enormous bunch of yellow roses.

The damn woman always called at the most inconvenient times. Instead of having a romantic meal with his wife, Angel had spent the last two hours calming a nearly hysterical client, who swore her ex-lover, was trying to break into her house. If it had been any other client, he would have handed the whole matter over to the police and let them deal with it, But Darla Penn was an old school friend of Buffy's and she and her brother William, were both valued clients. The small Law practice he and Lindsey ran was just beginning to make a profit and, as much as Angel hated spending the best part of the evening with Darla, he knew they couldn't afford to lose her as a client.

"Buffy! I'm home" Angel called out as he walked through the front door but much to his surprise and disappointment, there was no reply.

After searching the kitchen and lounge, he walked into his study. That was where Buffy would have left a message if she needed to go out in a hurry. Angel noticed the envelope immediately but as he approached the desk, his concerned eyes focused on two small gold bands, shining in the fading evening light. Reaching out, he ripped open the envelope and five seconds later, Liam Angelus' whole world fell apart.

~*~*~* End of flash back *~*~*~

While Angel relived the last day of their marriage, Buffy's eyes were still mesmerised by the folded sheet of paper and two golden rings. As she took in the painful evidence, fear - as cold as winter - wrapped its icy claws around her heart, and squeezed with all its might.

The first time she tried to respond she couldn't, her voice was paralysed by the nightmares her brain was trying to deny.

**She really had left him** It was no longer just a possibility, it was a fact.

Everything William and Darla had told her was true. In the space of a heartbeat she had become the woman she despised.

**A cheat and a liar**

"So, it's really true. I did leave you" Buffy's hand reached out towards the contents of the envelope. Her small fingers trembling in both anticipation and fear.

Angel stared down at her, his chocolate eyes almost changing to black. For a second Buffy saw a flicker of despair in his gaze, but it was quickly hidden.

"You remember?"

The air seemed to crackle between them.

After what felt like a small lifetime, Buffy finally shook her head sadly as her fingers slipped over the first gold band, a beautiful solitaire engagement ring. Although she felt a flutter deep inside her head she failed to place ever wearing the ring, let alone removing it and leaving it behind.

As Angel watched the confusion build in his wife's eyes he shuddered as his own memories kicked in and his tormented mind flashed back to the night he proposed. Buffy had been so happy when he slipped the ring on her finger that she cried.

**Yes! Yes! I love you, Angel. I want to spend the rest of my life with you..**

As the words echoed around his mind, Angel felt as if somebody had pushed a stake through his heart. Within two years, his wife had thrown the ring back and walked out on their marriage without a word of explanation.

Bringing his mind back to the present Angel repeated his question.

"Buffy... Do you remember? "

Buffy nervously moistened her lips .

"No, I wish I could tell you that I did, but I just can't.. I don't "

As the disappointing words slowly sank into Angel's head, the glimmer of hope in his chocolate eyes died.

**It was too soon.** Angel silently cursed and knew matters would now go seriously downhill.

Buffy's fingers moved away from the rings and lifting the folded sheet of paper, she opened it. She immediately recognised her handwriting.

**It's over. Don't even think of looking for me because I'm never coming back. I never want to see you again, not as long as I live. I'll never forgive you for this... Buffy**

As the contents finally sunk in, her bewildered eyes shot open in amazement.

"What the..." Buffy swallowed. This was the last thing in the world she had expected to read. As she struggled to control her trembling fingers her mind surged with confusion. The letter almost burned with anger, each tiny word was written with such bitterness. It simply didn't make sense.

From the gist of her words Buffy realised that she certainly hadn't left Liam because of William. The bitterness screaming from the letter was completely out of context.

"I don't understand what this means. I thought.. I thought I was... " She stuttered slightly

Without warning, Angel laughed and the sound sent a sliver of fear down her spine. " You don't understand?." He snorted, his voice tinged with months of suppressed anger.

There was no justification for Buffy's actions that night. All he had ever done was love her.

"You just left, Buffy.. You didn't give me a chance to understand"

But William said.."

"Pennington" Angel's dark eyes flashed dangerously and Buffy stepped back.

Consumed by a wave of guilt, and afraid of what Liam might see in her eyes, she lowered her lashes.

Angel was too incensed to notice.

"You've seen Pennington?"

At the high level of anger in his voice, a peal of warning bells rang loudly inside Buffy's head. This was certainly not the time for a confession

"William called in at the gallery when I was waiting for Darla" She took a deep breath before continuing with her explanation, but she never got the chance.

"So he came back here after all?" Angel demanded. His voice was so cold it sent a chill through the whole room.

Buffy blinked.

"Back?.. I don't understand "

**William hadn't been with her, he hadn't said anything about being away.**

When she looked up at her husband again she hardly recognised the man in front of her.

"Don't worry about it, Buffy.. This time I'll kill him"

"Liam" Buffy gasped.

She looked horrified. Shock had stolen every vestige of colour from her skin, making her eyes even more brilliant.

"I promised that bastard if he ever went near you again it would be the sorriest day of his life"

**Oh God... So much for him not knowing ** Buffy started to realised her greatest fear but Liam's next words contradicted everything she had started to believe.

"Did he hurt you?"

"Hurt me?" Buffy gasped in confusion. This conversation wasn't going anywhere near the direction she had expected.

She could no longer read the emotions blazing from Liam's face.

"No! He was just worried about me, that's all. He said we were close friends"

Buffy hated lying, but from the hatred she felt emanating from her husband, she truly feared for William's safely if Liam knew the truth.

" *Friends* That's a laugh." Angel spat the words in disgust. " Buffy, William Pennington is nothing but a stalker. He made your life hell for weeks and I promised him that the next time I saw him, I'd send him all the way back to the Mother country in a wooden box"

Without another word Angel snatched up his jacket and marched from the room.

As the front door slammed, Buffy stood motionless in the middle of the study. All around her, the walls of the small room started to close in. Everywhere she looked there were contradictions. So many lies. One minute she was led to believe she was the one having an affair and the next..... Blinking back a sudden rush of tears, Buffy picked up the sheet of writing paper once more and carefully re-read every word.

As a single tear escaped and slipped down her cheek, she curled her fingers around the note and crushed it into a ball.

Part 18

With the slamming of the front door still echoing loudly in her ears, Buffy stood trembling in the now deserted study. Standing alone with just her troubled thoughts for company, hot tears pressed behind her eyelids and her throat grew tight with frustration as the nightmare that had become her life since the accident, grew even darker.

Once again, the fragile world that she had awoken to just a few weeks earlier, had crumbled into total confusion, suffocating her with new deceptions.

For a short period, Buffy had really tried to believe that the worst part of losing her memory was finally behind her, that her life couldn't possibly get any more surreal. What a mistake that had been. In a single second, a blink in time, her troubled world had once again been turned on its head.

**You just left, Buffy. You didn't give me the chance to understand. You. Just. Left. **

As Buffy stood listening to the sound of her own heartbeat, Angel's sad words echoed through the room and reverberated right into her soul.

**From the pain reflected in his dark, lonely eyes, Buffy was shocked to learn that her husband really didn't have any idea why she had abandoned him three months earlier. Liam Angelus seemed as much in the dark about her reasons for leaving him as she was**

As the frightened young woman struggled to come to terms with the new turn of events, Liam's small study seemed to close in all around her, mocking her with its familiarity.

A familiarity that, try as she might, she still couldn't place ever being apart of. At that moment in time, all Buffy could feel was an awful emptiness, as if her brain was hollowed out and that this was as good as it ever gets. Once again, the fear that she would stay like this for the rest of her life returned and immediately all the colour drained from her face, leaving only a ghost of the beautiful young woman she had once been in its place.

Apart from her dreams of burning alive, this was the nightmare that haunted Buffy's sleep night after night. The real terror that if her memory never returned, the rest of her life would be lived in limbo.

Buffy trembled; just the realisation that part of her life could be forever shrouded in darkness, sent a cold shiver down the length of her spine.

Desperately trying to shake the icy visions from her head, Buffy fought to pull herself together, but the small study surrounding her had other ideas. Slowly, from every corner of the room, subtle images of the happy life she and Liam had built together over the last two years silently called out to be remembered. Photographs and mementos from a lost past did their best to jerk a reaction from the frightened girl, but no matter how many smiling faces called out from their frames, each failed miserably to bring a response.

**The nightmare was indeed coming true, she was going to stay lost in this darkness forever**

Standing all alone in the now empty room, Buffy suddenly understood what it felt like to be abandoned.

**What if this time it was Angel who didn't come back? What if William told him the same story he had told her?**

With the idea of losing her husband, Buffy found a deep ache form in the centre of her chest. Liam had only been gone for a few minutes but already she was missing him. As her eyes once again drifted to the two golden rings lying abandoned on the wooden desktop, Buffy swore a light of recognition fought its way through the darkness.

Deep inside her head the sound of trapped memories, lost in a distant corner of her mind rattled angrily against their prison walls, desperate to be free.

While struggling to hold on to her sanity, tiny whispers from Buffy's past teased her tired eyes with flashes of colour. Without any warning, feelings of anger and bitterness shot to the surface of her subconscious and her slight body shook with the force of their escape.

**I'll never forgive you for this**

With a gasp of disbelief, the blackness that had filled her mind since the accident momentarily lifted and Buffy actually tasted the hatred she had felt writing those very words. Gripping the edge of Liam's desk for support, she watched her shattered mind replay the events of a few months earlier. Buffy witnessed despair as she ripped the gold wedding band from her third finger, she felt both anger and betrayal flow though her veins like iced water, as she had turned on her heel and walked out of the front door for the very last time. With a flash of pain, her heart was flooded with a terrible sense of loneliness as she then watched herself sitting on a greyhound bus heading for a new life in New York.

As the vision before her faded Buffy realised she had been very alone on that bus. She fought to hold onto the picture for as long as possible, but just as suddenly as it had started the memory was over.

On reflection it had only been the briefest flicker into her past, but Buffy staggered as she realised the memory was real. It wasn't wishful thinking any longer; she really had started to remember.

**For a split second It was all there in black and white, She really had left him, but...** Buffy shook her head trying to break through the fog that had returned to cover her mind. From the words she had written in her note, the reasons for her leaving were still not explained. All Buffy knew for sure was the pain she had felt in her heart that day had been unbearable.

Dropping her eyes, Buffy looked down again at the crumpled note lying abandoned on the study floor. At last the first tiny piece of the puzzle had started to fall into place and with that realisation, a shudder of fear ripped right through her heart.

**It wasn't love that had chased her away that day, it was pain.**

Struggling to come to terms with this new information, one thought refused to leave Buffy's head ** Someone had to be lying to her**

**Only three people had entered her life since returning to Sunnydale, and for whatever the reason, Buffy knew one of them had to be lying**

Liam, William Pennington or Darla Penn

One of those was an outright liar, but who? And more importantly, why?

Buffy closed her eyes as the question she couldn't even begin to answer pounded at her exhausted brain.

Her husband was the first person to slip into her mind.

**No. We're not friends, Buffy... You're my wife...**

Liam was the most complicated of the three to understand. One moment he was so cold and the next...

**Buffy I want you so much I'm physically in pain.**

Buffy had felt the emotion of their past radiating from his body like heat on a warm summer's day. At times, when he spoke, there was real passion in his dark eyes, both passion and tenderness. When Liam touched her skin, her mind might not remember him but her body did. His kisses were remembered, not in her memory but deep in her heart.

Buffy sighed; she still couldn't remember falling in love with this man the first time he had entered her life, but she certainly knew the second time it had happened. Looking back, she realised with a shudder that it started the instant she had opened her eyes in that hospital room. Whatever fate had in store for her, it seemed Buffy was destined to love Liam Angelus whether she wanted to or not.

But Liam wasn't the only man in this equation, there was also William Pennington and no matter how much she wished she could deny it, Buffy knew that the sweet looking guy, with the shock of bleached hair and mischievous blue eyes, seriously cared about her. The hurt look on his face when she failed to recognise him was genuine enough, Buffy was positive about that, if nothing else.

The thing that scared Buffy most about William was, if she believed the story he had told her, not only was she an adulteress, it also proved that Liam Angelus was certainly no Angel**Buffy, I think that knock to your head did more than just wipe out a few memory cells. What on earth's gotten into you? I've already told you that we're lovers, I've had you on that office floor more times than I can count and now suddenly you can't bear to even kiss me.....

**When you come to your senses, hopefully you'll remember that I love you much more that he ever did, and when he breaks your heart again. I'll still be here and Buffy, I'll still love you.** As Buffy shook her head to clear William's declaration of love, her thoughts then turned to her so-called best friend.

**Darla**

Buffy still didn't trust the blonde female, who Liam swore was her best friend, as far as she could throw her. But sadly, whether she trusted her or not, Darla Penn backed up William's story to perfection and William's story destroyed any future she might have with Liam.

**Buffy, my brother loves you and inside your mind, underneath all that confusion, you feel the same way about him**

Buffy shook her head again and ran her fingers through her silky blonde hair in frustration.

"But that's the trouble, I don't. I don't love William, I love Liam." A soft sigh slipped into her voice as she picked up the rings again from the desk and held them in the palm of her hand. As Buffy started to slip the gold wedding band back over her finger, her words from her past came back with an icy blast.

** It's over. Don't even think of looking for me because I'm never coming back. I never want to see you again, not as long as I live. I'll never forgive you for this... **

Buffy's heart sank as the rings once again fell to the desk.

"Or at least I thought I did..." As she regretfully accepted that Liam was the one most likely misleading her, Buffy remembered where her husband was heading.

**Buffy, William Pennington is nothing but a stalker. He made your life hell for weeks.

This time I'll kill him. I promised that bastard if he ever went near you again that it would be the sorriest day of his life**

"Oh God!"

Finally realising the seriousness of the situation, Buffy pulled open the top desk drawer and removed a large address book. As her slim fingers quickly skimmed through the pages, she didn't even question how she had found the book so quickly. Turning to the page marked with a large dark P, Buffy knew in her heart that the name Pennington would not be there, but as her fingers slid down the long list of names, the second name on her lips was..

Penn.

Darla Penn.

Snatching up the receiver, Buffy pushed the numbers and waited with panic building as the phone continued to ring unanswered. Then, just as she lost all hope of preventing a bloodbath the sound of an annoyed female screeched into her ear.

"This better be important, I was in the shower"

Buffy sighed as she recognised Darla's voice.

"Darla, Thank God you answered, I didn't know who else I could ask"

"Buffy? Honey, I'm soaking wet here. Ring me back in an hour will you?"

"I need to find William, like yesterday" Buffy demanded, ignoring the other woman's request

At the other end of the phone line, the dripping wet female smiled as she clutched her towel closer to her body. The panic in the Buffy's annoying voice wasn't missed and a warm glow of satisfaction started to spread slowly through her cool veins.

Although Darla had planned for Liam to eventually find out about her brother's *affair* it seemed the news had broken much quicker than even she had thought possible. After her lunch date with Buffy, Darla had been worried that all her scheming had been for nothing, but now, much to her delight, it seemed the stupid little bitch hadn't keep her mouth shut after all.

Studying her reflection in the bathroom mirror and taking a deep satisfying breath, Darla transformed herself into Buffy's sympathetic best friend

"So, you finally came to your senses and realised where your heart really belonged " She started softly, her voice laced with fake concern.

Buffy was too worried to notice the treachery in the other woman's voice. All she could see was Liam and William coming to blows and she was terrified of the outcome.

Real fear started to twist knots in her stomach as her patience ran out.

"Darla, I haven't got time to go into the full story, I need to find William immediately. Liam knows I've seen him and he wants blood"

At the increased panic coming from Buffy's end of the line Darla grinned and played the part of a worried sister to perfection

"Buffy, what the hell have you done? Will's no match for Liam. Why on earth did you tell him, why couldn't you have just disappeared again?" Slowly, Darla's voice started to rise as she acted out her concern for her brother's safety. Not that William needed her concern. William Pennington had a strong reputation of being able to look after himself, not that Buffy remembered. If anything, Liam was likely to end up on the wrong end of a real beating.

Darla grinned. **And I'll be the one to kiss him better**

As the evil smile on her face widened, on the other end of the line, Buffy's beautiful features creased into a worried frown.

**This was all her fault. If either man was seriously hurt she was the only one to blame**

"I.." Buffy started.

But Darla didn't give her victim time to think about an answer, she continued her attack, wearing the already guilt ridden girl to the bone.

" William would've happily given up his life here in Sunnydale to have gone away with you. When are you going to accept that you don't belong here, Buffy? You should never have returned"

Running her fingers through her hair with frustration, Buffy shook her head. Darla was right, she really should never have come back to Sunnydale.. It was a mistake, and now blood was going to be spilt.

As the consequences pounded her head Buffy finally snapped.

" Dammit, I haven't got time for this now. Look, I still can't remember where William lives and Liam is already on his way. Just give me the goddamn address"

Darla paused for a moment for effect and then reluctantly answered

"Crawford Street. William owns the large mansion on Crawford Street...." She didn't have time to finish her sentence before the phone was slammed down in her ear. Buffy had all the information she needed and didn't have time to waste on long *good-byes*

The blonde, wrapped only in a towel, replaced the receiver while a large satisfied grin covered her smug face. Everything was going better than she'd ever dreamt possible. This time the little cheerleader's marriage was well and truly history.

Meanwhile

Back at Ravello Drive, Buffy was out of the front door and half way down the road before she'd even released that she didn't have the slightest idea where Crawford Street was.

Part 19

"Stop! Dammit, stop"

After running in circles for at least four blocks, hoping that something familiar would trigger her memory and point her in the right direction, Buffy reluctantly admitted defeat. It was useless. Her poor excuse for a memory wouldn't play fair and even though she'd been born in this small town, and supposedly lived here all of her life, it made no difference. In her present state of mind, and just four blocks from home, the troubled young woman was completely lost.

Feeling bitter, angry and frustrated, only one thought kept Buffy searching. Sadly, she was almost certain that Liam knew exactly where Crawford Street was and from the look on his face, her enraged husband could be carrying out his threat against William Pennington's at that very second.

**Don't worry about it, Buffy.. This time I'll kill him**

**I promised that bastard if he ever went near you again it would be the sorriest day of his life**

Feeling the panic in her stomach start to spread like a forest fire, burning out of control, Buffy knew she had to do something and she had to do it fast. With every wasted minute that swirled past her, the prospect of stopping the violence between the two men in her life grew less likely.

**Two men in her life? **

As the words throbbed inside her brain, Buffy's head began to hurt.

Deep inside her mind forgotten memories were surging to reach through the black abyss that kept them trapped. Fragments of her lost life teased and tormented her as they fought to return home, and the more she questioned her past, the more she knew she was being lied to.

Tiny flashes from somewhere deep inside her subconscious continually echoed that there was only one man in her life. Only one love had ever reached out and truly touched her heart.

**But was it William or Liam?**

**William Pennington is nothing but a stalker. He made your life hell for weeks**

Liam's angry voice broke through her thoughts, but only to be counter attacked by Will's

** When you finally come to your senses, you'll remember that I love you much more than he *ever* did, and when he breaks your heart again**

More confused than ever, Buffy struggled with the two faces dancing before her eyes.

William was, rich, good-looking and he seemed genuinely found of her. But it felt wrong. There was something missing with this man, heat - fire. There was simply no spark when he kissed her.

Liam on the other hand was a different story. He not only sparked; he sent shock waves of electricity right through her body. He held the missing element. When Liam touched her skin he set her blood on fire. Buffy still couldn't remember falling in love with the man she had married, but if she really searched her heart, she didn't need her memories to know the answer. She belonged to Liam. She didn't have a past and until it returned her present was stuck in limbo but when Buffy thought of the future, if she was truly honest with herself, all she could see was Liam. All she wanted was Liam.

**But would he still want her? After this night was over would he be the one leaving this time?**

As her thoughts snapped back to the present, and to the look on Liam's face when he first heard that William was back, Buffy knew she was wasting precious time. She had to find both the mansion and Pennington before Liam did... For all their sakes.

**If only these streets didn't all look the same**

Turing her head one last time for inspiration, a flash of blurring yellow on the horizon answered her prayers.

**She might not remember the way to the mansion but there were others that did**

Stepping off the sidewalk, Buffy stood in the middle of the road and holding out both of her small arms she waved frantically, forcing the approaching taxi to stop in its tracks. With a slight screech of rubber tyres the car came to an abrupt halt and the bald headed driver shook his head in amazement as he glared out of the side window.

"Lady, have you got a serious death wish or something?" Charles Gunn demanded as he watched the small blonde waif step closer to his cab. It was his last run of the night and the last thing he needed was to hit a pedestrian, especially a crazy one.

Relieved that the car had stopped for her, Buffy was too immersed in her own troubles to notice the sarcasm in the driver's voice. Her only concern was getting to William Pennington's house as quickly as possible and putting an end to the nightmare that had taken over her life. Her first priority was stopping any bloodshed, but while she was heading in that direction, Buffy also knew there was a second reason for seeking out the English poet. She was no longer taking *no* for an answer.

With the two men in the same room, if Liam couldn't or wouldn't fill in the lost pieces of the puzzle, then maybe William would. And if they didn't, maybe it was time to make them...

**That's if they hadn't killed each other first **

"Hey! Do you want a cab or not?" The rich masculine voice of the driver broke her out of reverie.

Leaning forward, Buffy peered into the side window and gratefully nodded her head.

"I need to get to Crawford Street. I'm looking for a mansion " She asked as she flung open the car door and after closing it behind her, dropped wearily into the back seat. "Please, as quickly as possible"

"Sure, I know the place you want. That's where that poet lives. My wife reads his work all the time. A bit hearts and flowers for my taste but she likes it" The driver chatted happily as he pulled back out into the road. Although it was getting dark, he was surprised the girl needed a cab, it was such a short distance and every person in Sunnydale knew where the English writer lived. After all, how many celebrities were there in Sunnydale?

Raising his eyes to his mirror, Charles Gunn studied his passenger sitting quietly in the back seat. She was an extremely attractive young woman, although a little on the thin side if he was honest, but it wasn't her looks that caught his attention. The girl's eyes were so troubled, the sad hazel orbs almost looked haunted.

Turning on to main Street Charles tried to strike up a conversation.

"I guess you must be new in town" He asked, not believing a local wouldn't know where Crawford street was.

Buffy was looking out of the window at the passing houses, at the question she sighed sadly.

"I've been away for a while, I guess my memory's not what it used to be" She tried to act calmly but the tension in her voice wasn't missed on either of them.

" Don't worry, It's not that far, we'll be there in less than ten minutes"

"Good... That's good." Buffy turned her head away from the window as her gallery flashed past and closed her eyes.

It seemed the longest ten minutes of her life...

*****

Crawford street, it turned out, was just on the outskirts of town and much to Buffy's surprise, it seemed that every person in Sunnydale knew of William Pennington and the large mansion he kept on in Sunnydale. Everyone that was except her.

The journey seemed to last forever and as the cab turned down the impressive street in question, Buffy's eyes nervously flicked from one large building to the next, hoping that one of them would jump out at her and shout its recognition. In the end she didn't need to be told that they had arrived. When the car pulled up in front of the most impressive building in Sunnydale, Buffy went cold. Looming up out of the dark night, the cold gray structure seemed to whisper out her name from every nook and cranny.

"This is Pennington's place, but it doesn't look like anyone's at home" the driver said offering his opinion as he glanced up at the tall building, blanketed in total darkness.

This part of town was so isolated; he didn't like the idea of leaving the young woman all alone. There was something very vulnerable about the small blonde girl in the back seat of his cab and the thought of leaving her stranded went against his better judgement.

"I can wait for you if you want" Charles asked over his shoulder.

Buffy smiled her gratitude but refused the kind offer. "Thanks, but I'll be fine"

Climbing from the cab, she watched the taillights disappear back up the street, and turning towards the mansion, Buffy shivered and felt the small hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. There was something evil about this house. At one time in her life this house had caused her intense pain.

**And you want to go right back inside? Great idea** Buffy tried to reason with herself about going inside, but she already knew she would lose that argument.

**Liam's inside that house. Liam, William Pennington and the secrets from my past.. **

It didn't matter how afraid she was; there was no going back..

*****

Climbing the stone steps that lead to the front door, Buffy took a deep breath and felt a needed rush of adrenaline wash through her tired body. She was through with all the lies, all the bullshit she had been spun since she'd first woken into this nightmare of a world. It was time to take charge of her life and stop being the victim. It was time to fight fire with fire and at that very moment Buffy realised that maybe it was time she used a few dirty tricks of her own.

**You just left, Buffy. You didn't give me the chance to understand. You. Just. Left. **

If what Liam had told her was true, he couldn't help her; so, she would just have to help herself.

On reaching the top step, the first signs that Liam had reached the mansion before her was clearly obvious. The large front door was left ajar and as Buffy pushed it open and walked in, she immediately noticed the sound of broken glass snap crisply beneath her small feet.

**Oh God, Liam. What have i done**

Buffy felt her stomach nosedive and it took every ounce of strength she had, not to turn around and run as far away from the house as possible. Only the knowledge that if she did run, it wouldn't just be from the house stopped her. Buffy knew if she didn't confront her demons now she wouldn't stop running until she could never be found again.

As a vision of soft brown, enigmatic eyes rose up and teased her memory, she finally accepted that she didn't want to run any longer. She wanted answers. Straight answers. What ever happened next she was finally taking back her life.

"Hello?.." Buffy waited for a second but there was no reply. Only faint echoes of her own voice accompanied her footsteps.

"Liam?" She called out louder this time but received the same response.

Continuing to walk through the impressive hallway, the sound of shattered glass was the only noise that broke the eerie stillness. The hall was in darkness but even still, Buffy couldn't fail to notice other telltale signs of a fight. On noticing a splintered table blocking her path a sliver of fear crept slowly up her spine.

**This was all her fault and if Liam was hurt...** Buffy shut that thought down as quickly as it flashed through her head. The thought of her husband suffering pain because he thought she was an unfaithful bitch was more than she could bear.

"Maybe I should reconsider that running away option again" Buffy tried to joke but it fell flat.

Following the trail of damage, she eventually noticed a small glow coming from under a door at the far end of the hall.

With a small push the large door opened without a sound. Buffy stopped dead still in the doorway and peered inside.

The room was beautiful. Heavy drapes hung across all the windows and although the only light in the room came from a small over turned lamp, the uninvited guest had little difficulty making out the lone figure, leaning drunkenly against one wall at the far end of the sitting room.

As she stood in the doorway William Pennington made no attempt to look up. His thoughts were far too immersed in the bottle of bourbon that was happily slipping down his throat, trying to numb the burning pain that shot behind his bruised eyes.

His whole body ached but that wasn't the pain William was trying to wipe out. He had been so close, so bloody close to taking Buffy away from that bastard Angelus that he could almost taste it. But suddenly it didn't taste so sweet. It wasn't supposed to have happened this way. When Darla had first asked him to help her get rid of Liam's wife it had all seemed so simple. He wasn't supposed to care about her, just break them apart.

**That stupid bitch of a sister should have warned me. ** William inwardly cursed as he once again raised the bottle to his lips and tried to numb the pain in his heart.

** Nothing about Buffy Angelus was simple, she had away of getting into a man's blood and once under his skin, there was no way of getting free.**

For the first time in his life, William was hopelessly in love and there was nothing he wouldn't do to keep her.

The fight had been wonderful; Liam had played right into his hands and as soon as his bruises were at their best, he would put a call into the cops and have the loser arrested.

At the though of Buffy's husband behind bars and finally out of his hair, Will smiled. It was at that point that he felt her presence.

"William.. " Buffy's spoke quietly but made no attempt to enter the room.

Lifting his head to the sound of her voice, he didn't answer at first; he just let his eyes drink in the contours of her face.

Under such an intense gaze Buffy felt her cheeks flush and her throat go dry. On closer inspection, the room was a real mess. As her eyes scanned the damage, Will's head turned a fraction and the light from the lamp lit up the full extent of his beating. Both his eyes were beginning to swell and there was a thin line of blood smeared beneath nose, which by the shape of it was possibly broken.

"Oh, God.. Are you all right?" With the shock of seeing the good looking face, battered and bruised almost beyond recognition, Buffy took her first steps into the room.

Yet again broken glass cracked beneath her feet.

At this second question William shook his head, slightly amused at her concern. At the sudden movement a searing pain shot through his battered body and he quickly lifted the bottle he was still holding to his split lips and knocked back what was left of the contents. The cool amber liquid burned with a welcome fire as it slid effortlessly down the back of his throat, but even though most of the alcohol was now swimming happily through his blood stream, it so far hadn't numbed the pain.

"I hope your husband knows a good defence lawyer, he's certainly going to need one"

William looked up and his hungry gaze bore directly into Buffy's eyes. For an instant, she felt an unreasonable tremor of fear flutter through her body but it was quickly pushed a side.

"I think it's safe to say Liam has that covered" Refusing to let herself feel intimidated, Buffy's voice hid her fear well.

As she studied the damage her husband had left on the younger man's face, strangely, her first thought was for Liam's safety.

** Liam might be an excellent attorney but If Pennington pressed assault charges against him...** Buffy tried not to think of the consequences. Trying to ignore the deep purple swellings now covering what had earlier been a devilishly handsome face, she tried to change the subject.

"You told me we were lovers.. I want to know why you lied to me."

"I never lied to you, pet."

Buffy didn't move.

"Angelus got to you, didn't he?" Pulling away from the wall, William snorted in disgust.

Buffy still didn't move, although her heart was beating so hard she thought that it would break her chest she stood her ground.

"He's a clever sod, I'll give him that much" William spat a mouthful of blood towards the floor and dropped the bottle he was holding into the nearest chair.

"It never crossed your mind that he's the one telling the lies. No, you'd rather believe what that smarmy bastard fed you than follow your own heart" Shoving his hands in the front pockets of his tight, faded jeans, Will slowly sauntered forward.

As the tall, slim figure moved through the dim light, Buffy tried not to notice how his jeans sheathed his lean hips or how his white T-shirt hugged his well-developed chest. Tilting her head slightly, their eyes met and for a second she almost swore she saw a flicker of despair in his penetrating gaze, but only for a second. When she looked again it was quickly replaced with an arrogant gleam.

**Sexy, arrogant bastard**

Even on the wrong end of a severe beating William Pennington looked hot, but no matter how much sex appeal he radiated, Buffy didn't feel the attraction. Even with amnesia she knew he wasn't her type

**He wasn't Liam**

**You'd rather believe what that smarmy bastard fed you than follow your own heart**

"But that's where you're wrong. It's my heart that knows you're lying." Buffy snapped back the reply with cool certainty.

William laughed

"Am I? And why would I lie Buffy?" he asked as his hungry eyes slid insolently down the full length of her body. She was still wearing her new dress and it was having the same effect on him as it had earlier worked on Angel

Buffy stood frozen to the spot as William continued to close the distance between them. As his tall lean body moved ever closer the air between them seemed to crackle. Anticipation, fear, love, hate. The emotions being exchanged between the two of them with each new step were almost tangible.

"Someone is lying to me" Feeling uncomfortable by his closeness, Buffy tried to retreat but her progress was stopped as she felt her back hit the cold wall

"Like I said before, why would *I* lie? You might not remember yet but when you do you'll know that you belong to me, Buffy. You love me" William's grin was so smug Buffy would have given anything at that moment to knock it right off his face.

Coming to a stand still Will placed his hands on each side of her body, trapping her small frame up against the wall. He leaned forward, his nose nearly touching hers. Buffy swallowed, she could almost taste the alcohol on his breath, as she took a nervous breath, she could smell his blood

"Trust me, pet. I'm the good guy here"

He was teasing her now and his eyes glinted seductively as his body pressed even closer.

Buffy nervously bit into her bottom lip.

"I don't believe.. " she didn't get a chance to finish her sentence. William grabbed her; his long slim fingers gripping her thin arms so tightly they bruised the delicate flesh. Buffy struggled but before she could breakaway he clamped his hot mouth over her lips and kissed her with a desire so passionate that the girl in his arms almost forgot how to breathe.

"Buffy. Oh, God, Buffy." William whispered fiercely as time after time, his hungry mouth tore at her lips

Caught completely off guard, Buffy's mind whirled as her blood pumped wildly through her veins. The kiss was rough, almost violent and as William groaned deep in his throat, his arms tightened around Buffy's slim shoulders pulling her body into his. The kiss grew more intense but even as Buffy's heart thundered against her ribs she knew that it wasn't passion she was feeling.... The kiss was wrong, in every way possible it was wrong.

This man could never have been her lover; he didn't come near to touching her heart the way Liam always did. He might be touching her body but he could never reach inside her soul. William Pennington was a fraud, a liar and that was the truth. She didn't know if it was a just a gut feeling or a lost memory trying to break through, but she knew it was the truth.

**This man wasn't the reason you left Angel**

With the realisation set in stone, Buffy finally yanked her head away. Her large hazel eyes flashing with emotion

"Let go of me. It's not you, it was never you"

For a moment only the sound of hard breathing separated them. In an instant, the temperature in the room seemed to drop to freezing and both occupants knew their lives would never be the same again.

"It was never you" Buffy whispered again as she fought to control her breathing.

The harsh words stuck home and stole every vestige of colour from the blonde man's cheeks. Standing in the dim light, his skin took on the deadly white appearance of the dead.

"Your memory's returned" It was a statement, not a question. One glance at the fire in her hazel eyes told him without doubt that the deception was over.

Buffy just continued to glare and played her own charade for all she was worth. Whatever happened next, she knew it would once again change her life forever.

For the longest moment of William Pennington's life there was no sound in the room.

If he were completely honest with himself he would have admitted that her kiss had already told him everything he needed to know. She didn't love him, even in a complete state of amnesia Buffy couldn't return the feelings his heart overflowed with and, now that she remembered her past, she would never be his. It was over.

The bluff was called and he had lost.

Fooled into believing that the woman he adored now knew who really was lying, William felt his happiness slide away. He'd always known the game he and Darla were playing was dangerous. There was always a strong possibility that Buffy would remember their so-called love affair was only in his head, but it was a chance he accepted willingly. Stretching the truth a little or even a lot if he got the girl of his dreams wasn't a problem. And it had almost worked. Just a few more days and the Angelus' marriage would have been destroyed forever. The look on the old sod's face that night had told him that much. Liam Angelus had walked from his house a shattered man.

** If only the bloody amnesia had lasted a few more days**

Cursing under his breath, and knowing he had nothing left to lose William took a step towards Buffy.

"I might have lied about our affair, Buffy, but it doesn't change how I feel about you." He started softly and nervously ran his hand across his bruised jaw.

Buffy moved away from the wall, but as the realisation of William's deceit sank in, her anger started to spin out of control. Thinking she was being lied to was one thing but hearing somebody admit that they had purposely tried to ruin her life was very different.

"Oh God, I was right, it was you all the time. Everything you told me was a lie... I almost believed you"

Too late, William realised his mistake. Buffy hadn't remembered her past at all. She had played him for a fool and he had let her trick a confession from his stupid mouth.

**Fuck it**

At the look of horror that crossed her beautiful features, Will quickly tried to justify his actions.

"I only did it because I love you, Buffy. You have no idea what it's like watching you, day after day, being so unhappy. I've had this ache in my chest ever since the first second I saw you. You were in so much pain...The way he treated you.. I just wanted to save you " William's jaw tightened and his skin drew tight across his chiselled cheekbones.

Holding on to the back of a chair for support, Buffy closed her eyes as a single tear slipped beneath her dark lashes..

"I love you" He tried to reach for her but she pushed his hand away.

"You bastard. You low-life lying bastard. I've been in hell for the last two weeks and all the time you could have ended it. That was when you could have saved me " Buffy cried out as the pain and confusion trapped inside her head exploded. She wasn't a cheat or a liar. He was.

To her surprise, William started to laugh but there was no humour in the cold sound

" You're not the only one, luv. I've been in Hell now for the last two years. I didn't want to fall in love with you. I knew it was wrong, but I had no choice. You're in my gut, in my throat, I'm drowning in you Summers, I'm drowning in you" Before she could move further away, William's fingers clamped around her wrists, once again pulling her body up hard against his chest.

" Just give me a chance to explain"

Leaning his face close to her ear, Will's hot breath washed over her cold skin in shuddering waves.

"No" Buffy gasped

She tried pulling her hands free but his long fingers bit deep into her flesh.

"Stop fighting me, I won't hurt you"

"You already have"

"Please..."

Buffy refused to listen as renewed anger burned through her veins.

"After what you've put me through there's nothing you could say that I would believe. I could never love a man like you..." She raised her head and stared straight into his cool, dangerous eyes.

William smirked, but her next three words cut right through his heart and shattered the four beating chambers into a million shards.

"You're beneath me"

Pennington jerked as if she had physically slapped him but continued to grip both her small wrists in his large fingers.

"You bitch. You bloody bitch.. I'll show you who's beneath who"

Before Buffy could move, the handsome features facing her changed into an almost unrecognisable mask of fury. With a violent jerk, once again Will's lips firmly moulded over her mouth. Gasping in horror, Buffy tried to break free, but he was too strong. Continuing to struggle, hot tears of anger welled up in her eyes but it was only when she tasted blood in her mouth, where his teeth had bitten into her lower lip did she finally find the strength to push away

"Let. Me. Go. " The sound of her voice sent a chill right through the room.

Still locked within the circle of William's strong arms Buffy glared at him with stormy green eyes

"Buffy, please" William pleaded as he tried desperately to hold onto the struggling girl's wrists. The situation was getting out of control and he had to try and make her see sense.

Buffy was now beyond listening to anything he said. Her bruised lips throbbed and her wrists stung with the pressure of his finger.

"Get the fuck off me" Without another word, Buffy kicked out her foot and nailed his shin as hard as she could.

"Bloody Hell" William jerked back in shock, releasing Buffy's wrist at the same time. For a second, a look of sheer disbelief flashed across his face but it was quickly dropped. Knowing that he had burnt all his bridges the handsome young man's heavy shoulders finally sagged in defeat and he stepped back.

" You bastard, I could have you arrested for this" Buffy's voice was so quiet he almost missed the threat.

When she lifted her hand to her mouth and ran her trembling fingers across her swollen lips, William sighed, letting out a deep ragged breath.

"For what its worth.. I'm sorry"

Even as the words slipped over his lips he knew in his heart that he wasn't sorry for lying, just sorry it hadn't worked.

Not wanting to stay in the same room as Pennington for another second, Buffy shook her head and turned to walk away, but as she went to walk out the door, she stopped.

"Just answer me one question honestly.... Darla... Darla told me the same story... Why? " That was the one part of this charade that Buffy still didn't understand. Darla had almost convinced her that William was telling the truth.

At the sound of his sister's name, William suddenly saw one last spark of hope. As long as Buffy thought it was only him plotting against her, Darla still had a chance to break them wide apart. Buffy might hate him at the moment but if she thought Liam was screwing Darla, maybe, just maybe he could still save something from this disaster. It worked like a charm the last time they had tried it. Buffy was so angry she ran all the way to New York. As long as she still had amnesia there was no reason it wouldn't work again.

William inwardly smiled. If he couldn't have Buffy he would do everything in his power to make sure that Liam never could.

Turning his head he let his eyes shadow with guilt.

"Don't blame Darla, she's my sister and she believed what I told her. Darla has nothing to do with any of this "Even as the lie was growing William started to feel that there was still a chance. Darla would save the day; she always was the stronger sibling.

**Besides, she had got him into this fucking mess in the first place**

Lowering his eyes and looking as sad and pathetic as he possibly could, the young poet was already working out his next move. He took a slow breath, fighting to keep his tone as level as possible.

" Tell your *husband* I won't be pressing charges" Will rubbed the large purple swelling that covered his jaw and winced slightly with the pain. There was still a hint of bitterness in his voice but that couldn't be helped. After all, he was a poet not a bloody actor.

Relieved that Liam wouldn't get in trouble, Buffy nodded. She still wasn't sure if she believed William, especially the part about his sister not knowing, but when her gaze finally settled on his battered face all she could read was pain in the depths of his troubled eyes. Pain and a deep sadness.

Moving through the doorway Buffy realised that she still had so many questions unanswered but now was not the time or the place to ask them. Taking one final look at the man who had tried to destroy her marriage, she left William Pennington with a final shot.

"Maybe its time you took a trip back to the mother country.. And stayed there"

******

William dragged his bruised body up the stairs and headed straight for the bathroom. As he switched on the light he caught his reflection in the mirror and winced. Both eyes were now nothing more than swollen slits and the best part of his jaw was purple. It was definitely not one of his better nights. Turning on the shower spray, Will kicked off his boots, carefully pulled his blood splattered T-shirt over his head and dropped his jeans on the bathroom floor. His face was a mess, his dreams of a life with Buffy were in ruins and there was no hot water.

Stepping under the spray the water was ice cold and it stung.

Go to Part Twenty