Year: 2004

Xander and Giles had been knocked out of the fight early on. Giles had taken a bad hit and Buffy had ordered Xander to get him out of the line of fire.

Xander hadn't wanted to leave, "You're just distracting us," Buffy had said. "Get out before you get us all killed."

Xander did what he was told. He took Giles to the hospital, but he couldn't stay away. Xander had to know how the battle had turned out.

Cautiously he crept into the High School. He knew the fight was over, the quiet told him that, he didn't know who had won.

The library was a disaster, but the first thing Xander saw was the big gray scaled demon, lying on the steps, one of Buffy's stakes protruding from it's eye.

Xander sighed in relief; Buffy and Angel had won once again. As he looked up his breath froze in his throat. In the center of the library Buffy and Angel lay together, a thick river of blood connected them to the demon.

Slowly, reluctantly Xander walked to Buffy's side. Sleepily she looked up at him. "I'm dying," she said calmly.

Xander had wanted to argue about that, but the volume of bright red human blood told him she was right.

Buffy looked back at Angel, reluctantly Xander's glaze followed hers. The way Angel's head rested on the floor was wrong. Xander didn't want to see why, but Buffy's hand was gently turning Angel's face toward hers, revealing the damaged right side of his skull.

Xander found himself wondering if the dull color of Angel's blood came from him being a vampire or if it were due to the brain matter mixed in. Xander glanced briefly at the heavy library table beside Buffy and Angel. The corner nearest them was covered in Angel's darker colored blood.

"Xander." Buffy's voice wavered. Swallowing hard, Xander looked back at them. "Take care of him for me, okay?"

Buffy's eyes had remained locked on Xander's until he nodded. "I promise," Xander said kneeling beside them.

Once she had his word Buffy relaxed, seconds later she was dead.

Numbly Xander moved Angel to the school's boiler room, then he called the police

The police arrived with Principle Snyder. Xander watched them scurry around the library, carefully avoiding looking at the demon Buffy had killed and he had to suppress a sick urge to giggle. Sunnydale's finest would have been right at home in Hazard County. Except no one ever got murdered there, Xander thought, no one ever had to sacrifice themselves so that the forces of good could win out there.

Xander looked to the center of the room where the medics where placing Buffy's body in a heavy black bag. It wasn't right Xander thought fiercely, Buffy was supposed to be invincible, she couldn't be dead.

"She always was a trouble maker," Snyder sneered. "I knew she'd come to a bad end."

"Shut up!" Xander yelled. "You and every other person in this god forsaken town owes her their lives a dozen times over." He towered threateningly over the shorter man like a storm cloud. Nervously Snyder backed away from his enraged former student.

"Sir," one of the police officers said preventing Xander from following Snyder. "We need a statement from you."

Xander turned his pain and anger on the officer. "Why do you care, isn't it easier to cover up the truth if you never knew what happened in the first place?"

______________________________

Year: 2004

Xander had ended up spending that night in jail, he never would remember what they'd charged him with. In the end it didn't matter, the charges were dropped.

The days that followed Buffy's death passed in fog. Xander had provided Giles with emotional support when they went to tell Joyce Summers how her daughter had died. Joyce had screamed and cried, and blamed them. Giles had tried to comfort her, Joyce responded by ordering them out of her home. After she backed up her request with several thrown objects Giles and Xander left.

Hank Summers arrived in town the next morning. Talking to him was all but impossible for the Slayerettes, Hank never learned his daughter's secret, was never any part of their group. He believed the police's theory that a transient had killed Buffy.

Oz and Willow dealt with their grief by caring for everyone around them. Willow's hospital room rapidly became the center of all activities for Buffy's friends and family.

Xander relocated Angel to the apartment he maintained in Sunnydale. Giles had stopped by to examine Angel, he wasn't certain that the vampire would ever regain consciousness, given the degree of brain damage he'd suffered. Xander tried to convince himself that he wasn't jealous of Angel, but he wasn't having much luck. Xander wished he had the option of never knowing Buffy had been killed.

In addition to jealousy, Xander was also fighting equally irrational surges of anger that Angel hadn't done a better job of protecting Buffy.

No matter his feelings about Angel it never occurred to Xander to abandon the injured vampire.

Willow's daughter was born two days before the funeral. Oz and Willow named her Elizabeth in memory of the woman who should have been her godmother.

Funerals were supposed to bring closure, but Buffy's couldn't do that. There were too many lies told there. Joyce stood by herself, too angry to allow Buffy's friends to offer comfort and completely unable to deal with Hank's ignorance.

The Slayerettes choose the inscription on Buffy's head stone. Hank didn't understand it, but the others had been insistent, they needed some recognition of what Buffy had accomplished in her life, even if it was only a cryptic inscription.

After the funeral everyone drifted apart. Cordelia returned to her modeling career in LA. Joyce moved out of Sunnydale. Oz and Willow were quickly absorbed by the demands of a new baby. Giles somehow recovered the body of the demon that had killed Buffy and began an exhaustive study of it.

When the Watcher's council questioned his motives Giles told them he wanted to learn more about it, so that if another Slayer encountered one of it's species, she wouldn't be as defenseless as Buffy had been. Still when Giles pictured that future Slayer fighting the demon, she always bore Buffy's face. Giles couldn't quit imagining what might have happened had he been able to better prepare her for the battle.

Xander threw himself into caring for Angel and took up patrolling Sunnydale. He was supposed to return to England to continue his studies as a Watcher but he couldn't find the motivation.

For a few months the council left him alone.

____________________________________

Year: 2005

"Mr. Harris," the annoyingly calm voice said over the phone.

"That's me," Xander replied abruptly, "What do you want?"

"You've used up you leave time, the council requires your presence, immediately."

Xander rolled his eyes; he should have recognized a council flunky by the stuffiness factor. "Screw the council," he almost smiled, knowing how the watcher's representative must be struggling to come up with an appropriate reply.

"Alexander," the other man said finally. "You knew this would happen someday. I know Buffy Summers was your friend, but Slayers die, almost inevitably they die young. It's unfortunate but it's the way things are.

"You've impressed many people with the dedication and energy you've brought to your studies. Alexander, you have a bright future with the Watchers. An opportunity to help another girl like Ms. Summers. Don't throw that away."

"You know what?" Xander replied slowly, as if he were just realizing what he was saying himself. "I never wanted to help another girl like Buffy. I just wanted to help Buffy herself. You know, when Giles got old and had to retire from the active helping category. I never pictured a future with Buffy dead, but not you guys. To you Buffy dying before her twenty-third birthday was just a statistic. Slayer's die young, but that's okay because there's always another one to replace them right?"

"Each Slayer's death is regretted, but necessary for the safety of the world."

"Buffy wasn't just the Slayer!" Xander exclaimed. "She was a person too. She didn't ask to be chosen she had her own plans for her life. Plans that would have gotten her killed when she should have been graduating from college!"

"Alexander, calm down!" The watcher said. "You know we don't control who is chosen. We prepare them, help them to deal with their destiny, but we don't make the choice."

"Their destiny, right, one born in each generation with the strength and skills to fight the vampires, what a load of crap! You've known about Angel for years now, why haven't you been trying to figure out how to make more vampires like him. They'd have the strength and skills, and they'd deserve that fate too.

Given what he's done Angel deserved to die trying to make amends! Buffy didn't.

Or better yet, why doesn't everyone on the council get off their butts and help? You know Giles and the rest of us were just normal people, well pretty much, but we've all bagged our fair share of monsters over the years, even Cordy. Is the whole watcher's organization comprised of cowards who have to hide behind a teenaged girl?"

"Mr. Harris, this conversation is accomplishing nothing. I'll call back when you can be more rational."

"Don't bother, I'm not interested in the job anymore." Xander hung up the phone and returned to collecting his slayage equipment for the night's hunt.

With Buffy gone and the new Slayer sent to some other Hellmouth, someone had to pick-up the slack, Xander thought, lovingly running his hand over his crossbow. It was a damn good thing he was a decent shot, Xander reflected. He just couldn't manage the up close and personal like Buffy had.

________________________________________

Year: 2006

"Xander, Angel's getting a lot better," Willow said, balancing her two-year-old daughter on her knee.

"Yeah the hole in his head closed up real nice, now Deadboy looks just fine. He's still brain dead Will," Xander said without interest.

"I don't think he is," Willow replied.

"Don't Will, it's just wishful thinking," Xander said. "There's nothing separating him from a corpse anymore. Except he doesn't rot, thankfully."

"Xander I used a spell, Angel is in there somewhere," Willow stared intently into Xander's eyes. "I think he knows something happened to Buffy, when he's ready to face that he'll wake up. Angel isn't human, Xander."

"Big new flash there, Will," Xander snapped.

"Right, vampires heal, given enough time. Not just their muscles and bones, nerves tissue heals too. Physically there nothing wrong with Angel," Willow insisted.

______________________________________________

Year: 2007

Xander smiled as he watched Beth pull herself into a standing position.

Willow and Oz were attending a retirement dinner at the college for one of Willow's professors. Giles was busy, so Xander had baby-sitting duties for the evening. He couldn't have been happier. Since Buffy's death he hadn't been able to let anyone new get close to him. At times he knew he even tried to shut Willow out, thankfully she'd never let him do that.

Still Xander wondered if it wouldn't be for the best if she did. He never wanted to hurt anyone the way Buffy's dying had hurt him. He wasn't even the Slayer, which never stopped him from going out hunting. Xander was careful, he knew he wasn't Buffy and he wasn't suicidal. Unfortunately the law of averages didn't give a damn about careful. Xander knew if he kept putting himself in danger he'd loose one day.

Maybe he hadn't realized it at first, but the scar bisecting his torso was a constant reminder of what could happen. He'd gotten lucky that night, several times. Lucky that he had managed to shoot all the vampires he'd been stalking before the one stalking him had pounced. Lucky that the vampire had dropped him near one of his spent crossbow bolts after ripping his stomach open. Luck the vampire had been careless, had assumed that Xander didn't have any fight left in him. Lucky that Mr. Cateran had come to visit his wife's grave that night and had called the ambulance. Xander knew, by all rights, he should have died that night. He's couldn't hope to be that lucky again.

He would die and the people that cared for him would pay for the choice he'd made the night he decided to try to fill Buffy's place. All Xander could do was try to make sure that he kept down the number of people he hurt.

It was a lonely way to live, but Willow wouldn't let him shut her out and no one could shut Beth out. The tiny red haired child was so certain of her welcome; it was impossible to let down her faith that everyone loved her.

"Xan," Beth demanded tugging at his pantleg.

Xander smiled, then leaned down and swept the tiny three-year-old up into his arms. "How's my favorite girl?" he asked.

"Hungry," Beth declared firmly.

Xander laughed softly as he asked, "Doesn't your mother feed you?"

Beth put on her most serious face. "No," she said plaintively.

Xander smiled Will would give him hell later, but a little junk food never hurt anyone. If it weren't for him Beth would probably have entered grade school without ever being introduced to the wonders of Hostess snack food.

__________________________________

Year: 2007

"Xander?" Giles called hopefully, walking through Xander's front door.

When he realized Xander had taken over patrolling Giles had been adamant that he quit before he got hurt. Over time Giles had been forced to admit he couldn't stop Xander from going hunting, so he'd asked Xander to call him before and afterwards, so if he were injured or taken captive they would know to look for him that night.

Xander had agreed to the precaution, but sometimes he forgot. Giles prayed that that was what had happened tonight.

A quick examination of Xander's apartment convinced Giles otherwise. Xander's weapons were still missing from their customary spot.

Giles went to the phone and dialed Willow and Oz's number. "It's Giles," He said to their machine. "Xander didn't come back from a patrol, I'm going out to look for him now."

__________________________________________

Year: 2007

".didn't come back from a patrol..."

Buffy? Angel wondered hearing the brief snatch of conversation. Who else would go on a patrol?

Where was he? How'd he get here? The last thing Angel could remember he'd been in LA there'd been that minor problem with a chaos demon. He'd taken care of that right?

He could vaguely remember the fight but after that things got foggier.

Angel opened his eyes and glanced around himself. The bad he was laying on was the only furniture in the room. Angel still didn't recognize where he was, but it was safe, the windows were boarded up. Then Angel noticed the blood bag hanging on a rack near the bed. Idly his eyes traced the tubing down to a needle in his arm.

Why would anyone do that? He wondered pulling the needle from his arm as he sat up. Carefully Angel stood, his balance felt off somehow. When he tried the door he was irritated to discover it was locked form the outside.

Angel frowned then placed one had against the door jam and tugged, the wood around the lock splintered, easily giving way.

He didn't recognize the rest of the apartment either, except for a picture of Buffy, Willow and Xander that had been taken in High School. Buffy kept a copy of that photograph in her room too. From the picture Angel assumed that the apartment belonged to one of Buffy's friends, but why would one of them try to lock him up? It didn't make sense.

It was secondary, Angel decided. Buffy had gotten in trouble on a patrol; he needed to find her.

It was really late, Angel realized, well after midnight. He'd have to hurry if he intended to find Buffy before sunrise.

Angel headed for the cemetery; it was a common place for trouble in Buffy's patrols. Once there he found that he wasn't the first person to think of looking there. Giles had beaten him to it.

Silently he glided up beside Giles. "Did you find anything?" Angel asked.

Giles jumped, and then he just stood there staring.

Angel felt mildly confused and worried; Giles looked old, much older than Angel remembered. Humans did that Angel reminded himself. He had been out of Sunnydale for awhile, but he didn't think it had been that long.

"Angel?" Giles asked absolutely stunned.

"Yeah, I don't know how I got back here, but I guess it's a good thing, since Buffy's gotten into trouble," Angel said.

"It's not Buffy," Giles stammered. "It's Xander."

"Why was Xander patrolling?" Angel demanded. "Doesn't he know how dangerous that is without Buffy?"

"Angel, Buffy is." Giles began, but Angel cut him off.

"I guess it doesn't matter," he said. Buffy must be looking for Xander too, he thought. Angel considered asking Giles where Buffy was, but something stopped him.

"We better hurry," Angel said instead. "There's no telling what sort of trouble Harris has gotten himself into."

It wasn't long before they found the clues they were looking for: Xander's crossbow, gym bag and signs of a scuffle.

"Whatever it was it must have drug Xander off with it," Angel said. "He's lucky it's been damp lately, we can follow the tracks."

Giles nodded. They followed the drag marks to one of Sunnydale's many crypts; the door was broken open. Angel motioned that he wanted Giles to stay behind. If Xander and his captor were in there Angel wanted the element of surprise and Giles just wasn't that good at sneaking.

Angel recognized the bleached blond vampire standing over Xander immediately. He quickly grabbed Spike by the collar of his duster and spun him away from Xander.

Spike stared at the older vampire in surprise. "Well that's what I get for listening to rumors," he said.

"What rumors?" Angel asked.

"That you've been out of the picture since your girl bought it," Spike answered. "Thought it would be fun to visit Dru and I's old stomping grounds."

"What girl, Angel thought. Buffy wasn't dead.

"Yep," Spike continued blithely, "I thought Sunnyhell would be a right nice town with your Slayer dead."

"She's not!" Angel yelled slamming the younger vampire into the wall of the crypt. Behind him Angel heard Giles assisting Xander to his feet.

Angel pulled Spike away from the wall just so he could slam him back against it harder. "Buffy's fine," he shouted.

Spike was looking at him oddly, "Funny thing, you getting so upset, what with her being fine and all."

"He's right Lover."

Angel felt a soft touch on his arm and glanced away from Spike to see Buffy standing beside him. She looked exactly as he remembered her, not a day older, not changed in any way. After Giles that was almost a surprise.

Well, Angel rationalized; he didn't spend the long hours when he was trapped in his apartment by the sun drawing Giles' picture after all. It was only natural his memories of Buffy were more accurate.

"You really are over-reacting," Buffy continued. "Just stake him then give Giles a hand with Xander."

"You go on," Angel replied. "I can deal with Spike."

"Um Mate?" Spike said tentatively. "Who are you talking to?"

"Buffy," Angel answered looking for a stake.

When Angel reached back for a huge splinter of the broken door Spike twisted free from his grasp.

At the door Spike paused looking back at Angel. "You know I think you've gone as loopy as Dru. I hope it doesn't run in the family."

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