Series: Unnamed
Summary: Follows "Anything", "Can't" and "Lost", going to the funeral.
Disclaimer: in previous parts

"Why are you here now?" Spike demanded angrily as soon as he saw Angel at the funeral. "Why weren't you here when she needed you? When you could have saved her? Why come now?"

Angel shuttered, he'd expected this, but not from Spike. He'd been ready to face Giles, Dawn and Xander's hatred because once again he'd managed to fail Buffy, but he had hardly anticipated an attack from Buffy's long-standing enemy.

"Spike!" Xander said, his voice sounding surprisingly mature, but then death does that to people, Angel realized. "Go sit with Dawn."

The two traded glares for a moment, but it was Spike whose eyes dropped. Kicking the ground angrily the bleached blond stalked off.

"I'm sorry," Angel said, trying to rebuild his defenses for what would surely be the next attack.

"You couldn't have done anything," Xander said quietly. "Spike's just angry, he's lashing out at everyone except Dawn. He isn't even really angry at you. Mostly he'd mad because he couldn't save her. and because he cares in the first place."

Cordelia gave Xander a shocked look, but bit her tongue before she could say anything tactless.

Angel frowned in confusion, why was Xander being nice? Spike was right, he should have been there.

"How are Dawn and Giles doing?" Wesley asked.

"No worse than you'd expect," Xander said. "Dawn blames herself a lot, but Spike's good for her. He'll start trying to convince her it was all his fault, then she'll argue that it's hers. Eventually it gets so ridiculous that even they can see it wasn't either of their faults, at least for a few hours."

"Giles is being the responsible adult. I think that's all that's holding him together. I'm glad we still can't get a hold of Buffy's dad; cause if he were here Giles would come completely unglued. I really thing he'd kill the guy for not being here for Buffy and Dawn during Joyce's illness and afterwards."

"Anya and Tara are keeping Willow and I from falling apart and we're keeping busy helping Spike patrol. You know, I still can't believe that this isn't some awful nightmare. I keep expecting to wake up and Buffy will be alright."

Cordelia nodded in agreement, "It's hard to imagine that she could be. Buffy just seemed like she'd always come out on top."

Xander waited until Angel had gone to pay his respects then pulled Cordelia aside and asked. "How's Angel coping? Willow told us he just took off after she told him."

"We thought he was going to kill himself that night," Cordelia admitted. "I don't know what he did exactly, but it was some sort of an appeal to the PTB to get her back. They told him no. He's found a couple different ways to bring back the dead but they've all got loopholes. He's pretty obsessed, but he's not crazy this time. I don't think we need to worry about zombies or anything. There's no way Angel's going to risk something like Darla's being sick happening to Buffy. If he finds a way to do it, it'll be the real thing."

Xander swallowed harshly. "Is that possible?" he asked.

"I don't know. I don't think so, but Angel does. We worry a lot about what he's going to do if he runs out of possibilities."

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