Riley looked around himself with trepidation; even for Sunnydale this cemetery seemed threatening. The tombstones loomed tall in the icy moonlight. It was bright as day, but lacked any semblance of warmth. Even the thin winter sun at home provided an illusion of warmth, but this California night possessed a chill that went beyond any number on a thermometer.

The commando couldn't remember how he came to be here, but he was in full gear, down to the tazar rifle slung over his shoulder. Riley wondered why he still felt as if he were the prey rather than the hunter this night.

There was a noise behind him and Riley spun, dropped into a crouch and aimed his tazar at the darkness, his eyes darted frantically from one shadow to the next, searching for the threat.

A pale, cold hand closed over Riley's, pushing the rifle down. "Jumping at shadows?" a quiet voice, rich with ironic inflections asked.

Riley turned to face this new threat, his light grayish eyes meeting bottomless brown ones. "You're dead," he exclaimed.

A low chuckle greeted that remark. "Yes, most vampires are. Tell me something I don't know."

"I killed you," Riley continued, trying to pull away from the other man, at least enough to aim the tazar at him. Riley might as well have been arm wrestling with a statue for all he accomplished.

"That is something I didn't know," the vampire said thoughtfully. "But that's not exactly what happened, was it? You left me to die, then you used my lover's grief to worm your way back into her life."

Riley's eyes went cold and hard. "Spike and I left you, the building blew-up, there wasn't even debris after the explosion, you were atomized. This isn't real."

"You sound so very sure of yourself," Angel said, smirking.

A scream rent the night and Riley glanced around wildly.

"Buffy," Angel said. "You'd better wake-up and comfort her, tell her how she couldn't have known what a week's delay would bring, or maybe you could tell her the truth."

________________________________________________________________________

The dream world released its hold on Riley and he woke, as normal, to the sight of his wife deep in the grip of a nightmare. Riley shrugged off the disquieting remnants of his own dream and took her into his arms.

"Angel, I'm sorry Angel, I'm sorry," Buffy whimpered.

"You couldn't have known," Riley murmured. "And you had to fight Glory, it wasn't your fault, he wouldn't blame you."

Buffy shook her dead and burrowed closer to her husband of the last five years. Their marriage was a far cry from the one she once dreamed of, lacking in any real passion and strained by differences that couldn't be resolved, but at least she wasn't alone. Buffy knew she couldn't bear to be alone on nights like tonight. Nights when she could hear Angel's voice asking for her help and had to listen powerlessly as the dream version of herself blew him off.

Buffy knew she couldn't have left Sunnydale until Glory had been dealt with. As the Slayer she had a duty to protect the Key and there was no way Buffy could have abandoned her little sister. Still, Buffy wished she'd told Angel the real reasons she'd delayed coming to his aid rather than using his call as an excuse to get back at him for ordering her out of LA after the Faith disaster.

They'd made peace after that, but Buffy had held Angel responsible for her break-up with Riley and had been waiting for the opportunity to lash out at the souled vampire for months. Buffy wished now that she'd known then that that would be the last time she'd ever speak with Angel.

That was what haunted Buffy, that and the fear that her words might have disheartened Angel just when he had needed to be at his strongest. She thanked God that Riley had been there afterwards to pick-up the shattered pieces of her heart, and that Riley seemed happy, or at least content, with what he'd cobbled together from it's remains. Buffy couldn't imagine anyone else wanting what little love she had left to give. She couldn't even see what had changed to make them work now when they hadn't before.

Back then she'd been trying to forget Angel and move on. Maybe she'd been hesitant to risk her heart again, even if she had been eager for a relationship. Still that had to be preferable to what she gave Riley now. Now Buffy didn't even pretend that her heart would ever belong to anyone other than Angel. And yet Riley stayed, willing to share her with a ghost she would never forsake when he hadn't been able to share her with a memory she was trying to forget.

Buffy didn't understand it, but she was grateful. She didn't know how she would have survived the last five years without Riley and, oddly enough, Spike. The mismatched pair kept her from despair. Riley comforted her tears and Spike reminded her both how to laugh and how to call the fire she needed to fight.

Spike had always been able to see the truth in her heart and had no compunction about speaking it. And no matter how depressed she became the bleached blond could always find a way to annoy her. That spark of anger had kept her alive on more nights than Buffy cared to count.

As for teaching her to have fun again, Buffy remembered one night in particular. It had started with a conversation while she and Spike patrolled.

"I'm never gonna be rid of this bloody chip am I?" Spike asked rhetorically. "Well, then I guess I'd better learn to live with it. What do you human types do for fun? I mean other than wars, blood-sports or brawling?"

"You're asking me?" Buffy had replied sarcastically.

"I know you've been Miss Doom and Gloom ever since Peaches bought it, but you used to do a pretty fair job of enjoying life," Spike had said. "You're the only Slayer I've ever known who smiled. Besides, there aren't many humans I'd want to spend time with, so how do we have fun? I'm sure you remember something."

That's how it had started, after patrol that night Buffy had taken Spike to the Bronze where they hung out for an hour or so. The next time Buffy had invited Xander, Willow and their significant others to join them in this "rediscovering fun" project she and Spike had embarked on.

It didn't cure all her ills, but it had chased most of Buffy's nightmares back into her subconscious and if her dreams still plagued her with guilt, well, she had Riley to deal with that. Buffy didn't forget Angel, but she learned to live without him.

"Mostly," Buffy added to herself.

________________________________________________________________________

Spike's eyes flickered over Riley critically. "Not getting much sleep are you?" He said. "What's wrong your conscience keeping you nights?"

"You know how Buffy sleeps," Riley replied, casting a nervous glance toward the stairs.

"Oh, she's just getting in the shower," Spike commented, "I can hear the water. Tonight's demon was a real messy one. I appreciate the use of your facilities, my crypt doesn't have a bath."

"You're cleaned up now, so why don't you leave," Riley suggested.

"Because you and I have to talk," Spike replied. "Without the Slayer."

"About what?" Riley asked.

Spike rolled his eyes disgustedly. "You know what," he said. "You've been dreaming about him too."

"How did you know?" Riley asked.

"I can read the guilt on your face, it's gotten worse lately," Spike said. "You're just lucky Buffy's always been a bit dense."

"So, I've had dreams about him, it's normal. I have a conscience, I feel badly about what we did," Riley said.

"You weren't listening," Spike said. "I'm having dreams about Angel too, just like Buffy had dreams about him right before he came back from when she sent him to Hell. So let's play a quick game of what-if. Wolfram and Hart disappeared from the face of the Earth along with Angel, but what if it weren't destroyed. The building was already more in Hell than not, what if instead of vaporizing the building like we thought we had, we just pushed it the rest of the way in and closed the door behind it. Angel came back from Hell before, what's to stop him from doing it again?"

"And if he does we're in deep trouble," Riley said.

"You caught on quicker than I expected," Spike replied. "Course he'll probably be pretty weak when he first gets back, he was last time. I say we find Angel, before he can talk to Buffy, and we kill him. And this time we make sure he stays dust."

"We can't do that!" Riley protested.

"It's either that or we lose Buffy," Spike pointed out. "And probably our lives when she finds out what we did."

________________________________________________________________________

Cordelia shrieked as she stepped out of her bedroom to find a naked male lying sprawled on the floor of her living room. Her shrieks changed from alarm to joy as she recognized the man.

The former May-Queen carefully spread a blanket over Angel's shaking form then called Wesley and Gunn, both for advise and to share the best news she'd had in years.

The two men arrived at Cordy's apartment so quickly that she was surprised that they didn't have a cadre of police cars following them.

"We should call Sunnydale," Wesley said after checking Angel over for any obvious injuries and helping the dark-haired vampire to down as much blood as they'd been able to round up on such short notice.

"She doesn't deserve to know," Cordy said angrily.

"Buffy made a mistake," Wesley replied. "And she's paid heavily for it already. Her last words to Angel were spoken in anger, but it wasn't her fault that he was lost for the last five years."

"I think we should call," Gunn added. "That girl looked like she was in serious pain back when we told her Angel was missing."

"I think we should wait," Cordy said. "It should be Angel's choice to tell her. It won't hurt Buffy to wait another month or so till he's well enough to make that choice."

"Can't argue with that," Gunn said.

"I could," Wesley stated.

"Wait." Angel whispered hoarsely.

________________________________________________________________________

"Cordelia said she urgently needed to see all three of us," Buffy said glancing from Riley to Spike. "She didn't say what it was about, just to come."

The two men traded a quick glance; they shared a premonition about this meeting at Angel's old haunt, the Hyperion Hotel, which was still home to Angel Investigations. Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn along with a few others had maintained the agency all these years, despite Angel's loss.

For the last three months Spike and Riley had looked, without success, for any sign that Angel might have returned. Several weeks ago the dreams that had haunted both of them had abruptly stopped.

Spike thought it probably meant Angel was back. Riley just hoped that it was an indication that his life could return to what passed for normal. Then Cordelia's call had summoned them here.

Riley and Spike flanked the Slayer as they entered the Hyperion's darkened lobby. "Where is everybody?" Buffy asked looking around the vast, poor-lit room.

One shadow detached itself from the rest, resolving itself into a very familiar man, dressed in black. "Angel!" Buffy exclaimed, taking several steps forward as Riley and Spike both fell back, away from the souled vampire. Buffy stopped short of Angel, guilt over-taking the joy in her expression. "Angel," she said. "I'm so sorry, "I'd give anything to take back what I said."

"You're forgiven," Angel replied gently. "I never could be angry with you Buffy, and you meant no real harm, unlike them."

"What do you mean? Buffy asked.

"Ask them about the last time we saw each other," Angel replied.

Confused Buffy turned back to stare questioningly at her two companions.

"Ask them where they left me," Angel prompted.

"Guys?" Buffy asked in a frightened voice.

Riley looked away in shame, but Spike just shrugged. "We saw Peaches in one of the cells beneath Wolfram and Hart," the blond vampire said. "Right before we blew the place up."

"And you left him there," Buffy said, the volume of her voice rising with each word. "You left Angel to die, then you came to me offering comfort? You two-faced."

"Now, now Pet," Spike interrupted. "Watch with the name calling. You've always known what I am. Remember our first alliance?"

"You wanted to help me kill Angelus so you could have Dru back," Buffy said.

"You know what they say: 'All's fair in love and war', only it's you I love now, sweet Slayer," Spike explained. "I'd do anything, kill anyone to be closer to you. I'd have killed Captain Cardboard over there, except we've both taken measures to ensure that if one of us disappears you'd find out about Angel. When it comes to you, Buffy, the soldier-boy and I aren't too different."

"How could you hurt me like that if you loved me?" Buffy demanded.

"I did everything I could to make it better," Spike replied.

"Except tell me the truth," Buffy said.

"Would it really have made you feel better?" Spike asked. Or would you have just convinced yourself that Angel wouldn't have been in that place if not for your little delay? You still would have blamed yourself Buffy, only you wouldn't have had Finn or I to make it easier."

"Why didn't you just save him?" Buffy asked.

"I'm not the altruistic type luv," Spike replied. "That requires a soul."

"Riley?" Buffy asked plaintively.

"I'm not a Saint," Riley replied, not able to meet Buffy's horrified, tearful gaze. "I hate Angel, because you loved him in a way you could never love me. I was going to confess what I'd done, but after Angel was gone you needed me. That's all I ever wanted from you. I love you Buffy, but I couldn't be just another of your little sidekicks, I couldn't play Lois Lane to your Superman. You treated Angel as an equal, but you never did that for me."

"Buffy is the Slayer, you're not," Angel said coldly. "You aren't her equal."

"But you are?" Riley demanded. Angel just smirked.

"Riley, I didn't think of you as being less than me," Buffy protested. "I never thought that."

"Then why'd you keep trying to protect me?" Riley asked. "I was trained to fight demons, why couldn't you let me do that? You wouldn't even let me help you deal with your mother's illness. I meant nothing to you until Angel died."

"I always needed you," Buffy said. "I went after you that night, but you'd already left."

"You don't need him," Angel said.

Buffy took one last look at Riley and Spike then turned and went to Angel. "You're right, I don't need them, not if I have you."

Angel looked down at Buffy sadly. "You don't need me either," he said. "If you had you never would have made it through High School."

"Right," Spike agreed. "If she'd needed you, you would have killed her during that little glitch in your soul, the one that means the two of you can't ever be together."

"No," Buffy cried, clinging to Angel. "I do need you. I do. I do. Please don't leave me Angel."

Angel wrapped his arms around Buffy's shaking frame, pulling her tight against him. "I won't leave," he promised. "But you're wrong about needing me. Oh Buffy, when did you forget how strong you really are?"

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