Rating: Watch the show? You can read this.
Summary: Buffy and Angel's meeting in LA, goes wrong when she wants to
have
another try at their relationship and he doesn't think it's the right
time.
IMPORTANT Author's Note: This is set in S6/S3. Instead of Cordy coming
out
to Angel and telling him that Willow's on the phone in "Carpe Noctem",
Buffy
shows up herself and they meet. Then it skips to "Entropy" in S6 of
Buffy.
Author's Note 2: Connor NEVER happened. Also, in result of his
Epiphany,
Angel's soul is permanant.
"Angel! You have a visitor and you need to come in here. Now!" Cordy yelled rushing outside. Angel looked at Fred and then rushed into the hotel to see his guest.
"Alright, Cordy. What?" He didn't even notice the blonde haired woman standing ten feet away from him. Her head was turned back so he couldn't see her face.
"Can I help you miss?" he asked coming over to her. He didn't know what but he got a familiar feeling around this woman. Buffy? No, it can't be. She's gone. "Miss?" he asked once again.
This time the woman turned around and saw Angel. Angel's jaw dropped a thousand miles when he saw her face. It was Buffy.
"Buffy?" he asked hardly getting the words out.
She shed a few tears herself, nodding to him that yes, it was her.
"Angel." Her voice sounded so happy to see him, and yet so sad at the same time.
Not fighting the tears anymore, he asked "Is it really you?"
"It's me." She replied and took him in an embracing hug. They both never wanted to let go.
Angel kissed the top of her head and said her name like he'd said it when he'd gotten his soul back a second time. "Oh, Buffy."
"Welcome back Buffy." Cordy and Wesley greeted.
"Thanks you guys." She gave them hugs too.
"I don't understand this though. Willow told me-" Angel sounded confused.
"I know. I was dead, but she- she messed with some pretty powerful magicks and brought me back."
"Did she-" he continued "Look, Angel, do you think we could do this in private? It's not that I don't want to see you guys it's just-"
"We understand." Cordy and Wesley said in unison.
"Thanks." She said not leaving Angel's eyes with her own. "My room is just upstairs." He pointed to the right staircase and led her there.
In Angel's room, Buffy sat herself down on his bed and didn't say a word. She finally broke the silence with "This room fits you."
"That's why I chose it." He came closer to her and sat down next to her. It had been just like on her birthday three years ago. "So, tell me. How long have you been back?"
"A couple of days. I figured I might want to be able to recognize your name before I came and saw you so,"
"What exactly did Willow do?"
"I don't know. All I remember is being in hea- hell and suddenly being pulled back into my body. The next thing I remember is clawing my way out of my grave and asking Dawn if Earth was hell. That's about it."
"You were in hell?"
"Yeah." She lied.
"Come on, Buffy. Tell the truth, I know you didn't go to hell. That's for creatures like myself, not good people like you. They go to Heaven and we both know it." He finished.
The look on her face told him everything. All the pain that she was going though, all the confusion, but most of all, all the while knowing that she had something so wonderful and pure and good, ripped away from her by her friends. "Shh, shh. It's okay, Buffy." He said comforting her. "Just tell your friends. They'll understand."
"Angel, they won't!"
"Sure they will-"
"Angel, how do you think you'd feel after you brought me back from the dead, thinking you saved me from eternal pain and then find out that I was having eternal peace?"
"I see your point." He said after a few moments of contemplating this. “So, what did Giles say all about this? Surely, he must've had some tension over letting Willow perform such a highly dangerous and stupid spell." He concluded.
"He didn't. Giles left town after I died. He went back to England. He should be back in a few days though."
"I'm sorry Buffy."
"Why? You had nothing to do with this. It's been better knowing that you weren't around for this. I never wanted you to watch me die, even though it could've been with a simple patrol one night. I never wanted you to go through the pain of watching me die and not help in some way."
"Kind of like the opposite of me three years ago. I was so depressed and so suicidal that I didn't care if you watched me die or not. All that matter was that I was gone."
"Angel, that wasn't you. That was the First. You can't blame yourself for my death not when it was you who I was thinking of my last few moments alive. Don't let those thoughts be wasted away to nothing." She pleaded.
He stroked her hair with his hand, just like he always did. It always calmed her down when she was stressed or worried.
"Angel?" she sounded scared and lost.
"Shh. No more tears Buffy."
"I just need you to know something. Something that will ease my soul."
"What?" he asked softly.
"I love you. I never stopped. I'm not trying to guilt you into anything, but I just need to- feel- something. Anything." She planted soft kisses on his cheek and on his face and finally his mouth.
"Buffy we shouldn't-"
"I just need to feel something." She tried to continue kissing him but he stopped her.
"Buffy, I understand that you feel vulnerable and I'll be here to help support you, but we both know it can't go any further than that." He hated breaking her heart all over again.
Most importantly, lying to her. He knew perfectly damn well that if he wanted to take her right then and there, he could still keep his soul. He found out that having an epiphany had a lot of great benefits as well as common sense. It granted him having a permanent soul. He couldn't tell Buffy right now. She was so fragile and knowing this might make her feel obligated and push her into doing something she might not be ready for emotionally. He was going to tell her a couple of months ago, but then her mom died and Angel knew it wasn't a good time. Even though that kiss in the cemetery had proven his thoughts if she still loved him.
"Angel, would you listen to me for once? I need help and right now you're the only one who can help me. Well, it's either you or Spike and I don't see it being Spike to save me."
"What are you talking about?" "You and Spike are the only ones who know I've been in Heaven all this time and you understand the whole 'life to death to unlife' type of thing. As much as I know you're right, I need you in my life right now. Can you do that?"
Ten minutes later, Buffy walked out of the Hyperion Hotel, intending on never seeing Angel again. If he didn't want to help her now, or put his own worries aside, then he never would be able to. She walked back to her mothers car and got in. She put the keys in the ignition and stopped for a second. She started to cry, and she never wanted to stop. The love of her life, just rejected her from his life. Again. Oh, she felt something now. Now she felt exactly like she had after he'd first broken up with her. Crappy. She got a hold of herself a few minutes later and started the car and headed back to Sunnydale.
Over the next few months, a lot of events occurred in both Buffy and Angel's lives.
First, Buffy literally became a no one, (thanks to Willow), had a couple of musical numbers and spilled the beans to being in heaven all those months, had Giles leave her yet again as well, started a 'hate/need' relationship with Spike where they'd have sex and both got what they needed for a certain amount of time, and to top it all off, she had a new job at the Doublemeat Palace and had to deal with Dawn's recent klepto issue.
Oh, not to mention Riley coming back in town with his new wife, and Xander leaving Anya at the altar and then having hallucinations of a 'normal life' inside a mental institution. Then there were those pesky nerds trying to pin her down for murder as well as just piss her right off.
Now she was dealing with a problem she'd never had before. She was jealous. It's not that she loved Spike or anything but watching him and Anya in the Magic Box a few minutes ago, was just driving her mad. Here was another guy telling her that he loved her and then he goes and screws her. Not literally. She'd never questioned Angel's fidelity. Okay, there was that one time with Faith, but she never actually believed that Angel would do that. Then Parker Abrams had just told her it was all 'fun' and that's it was supposed to be. Then Buffy finally thought she'd found a good guy. Riley. She knew he loved her, but he was just too stupid to acknowledge that she was stronger than he was. So he went out and had vampires suck his blood to see what the rush was.
Well, he left, and Buffy tried to stay away from the dating scene for a while, but then after Angel ripped out her heart again a few months ago, Buffy was so desperate to feel something, anything that she sunk herself to be with Spike and being with him did take the pain away for a while, but she didn't love him and never will love him. Now he too was screwing her over by screwing Anya.
Now Angel's wasn't that eventful, but still. Darla had come back into town and he had dusted her before she could do any damage, he had been possessed by dead lovers (yet again) and had an interesting 'scene' with Cordy that it was now weird being around her. He too was having jealousy issues a few months back when Groo had returned from Pylea and whisked Cordy off her feet yet again. Groo was just as strong, just as good looking, and he was able to go in the sunlight to catch dangerous demons while Angel can not. Plus, Groo ended up getting the girl at the end of the story. Angel himself would have too if he wasn't such a dumb ass. All he would've had to do was keep his cool for a few months and help Buffy, but no, he couldn't do that because he didn't want to pressure her. In not wanting to pressure her, he lost her. Most likely for good this time too. He had pushed her away again, and this time he'd pay the consequences for it.
Two days had passed by after Buffy watched Spike and Anya at the Magic Box and was now dealing with absolutely nothing. She'd caught Jonathon a few days ago and was now up against Andrew and Warren. They had a few tricks up their sleeves, but in the end, Buffy prevailed over all. After getting Warren and his partner in crime to the police station she headed home and got the shock of her life. "Angel?" she asked him when she stepped into the house.
"Buffy. I'm sorry for barging in but Willow called me and told me to get my ass over here as fast as I can. I really don't want to mess with Willow so I complied."
"Oh." Was all she could manage to get out. He truly was the last person she'd ever expect to see again.
"He's telling the truth Buffy. I called him here because I couldn't stand to see you moping around the house like you do, and besides you needed some help that we couldn't give you if you were sleeping with Spike."
"You were sleeping with Spike?" he demanded.
She looked at him in awe as if he should've expected it. "Well, what did you think was gonna happen? You heard me when I came back to see you seven months ago. I said it was either you or Spike that could help me and you didn't help me. I needed to feel something, anything at all, hatred, pain, suffering, love, anything from that constant emptiness. I'm not saying that I love Spike, because I don't, all I'm saying is that at least he didn't walk away from me." She in turn, walked away from him.
"Stop!" Willow commanded. "We are going to fix this relationship right now if we have to lock the two of you together in a room for a week! I want all of my friends to be happy and I know I can't make up for what Xander did, but it's the least I can do for Buffy after helping me get off the magicks. But when I went to do a spell, I found out that it was already taken care of. Angel, why don't you tell Buffy what I'm talking about."
"Fine. My soul is permanent. I can't lose it."
Buffy's jaw dropped at his confession. Then her expression because angry. "Why did you not tell me about this?"
"I was going to but then-"
"It's always something isn't it, Angel?"
"Your mother had just died and I didn't feel it was the right time to tell you."
"You know what our problem in our relationship is, Angel?"
"What?" (That you screwed other guys?)
"You don't talk to me."
"Wha-"
"No, I mean really. You have never once consulted with me on anything in our relationship. You've made all the decisions that's what's pulling us into the ground."
"Besides me breaking up with you, when have I not consulted you on a decision for the two of us?"
"Thanksgiving my freshman year of college. When you snuck behind my back and was here without telling me, and ah when you were human for a day."
"What? How did you find out about that?" he was becoming very nervous.
"Funny things happen in Heaven. You get all your memories back from your life. All." she glared. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Why didn't you tell me about your soul being permanent?" she retorted.
"It hurts finding out you've been lied to, doesn't it?"
"I get your point."
"No, see I don't think you really do. I don't need you to tell me what's best for my life anymore because I've had a glimpse into what my 'normal life' would be like and let me tell you, it isn't very pretty. I'm a big girl, I can make my own decisions."
"Then why did you come to me to be saved?"
"Because sometimes asking for help is the most adult thing you can do. Plus, at that point, you were the only one who could really understand what I was going through and you lied to me, again."
"I'm sorry. I can't be sorry enough. What else do you want me to say, Buffy?"
"Say that you'll help me." She stated.
"I'll help you." He said confidently that this time, things would be different for them.
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