Part 5
Angel and Harker sat at a table in study. They were richly ingrossed in their discussion about the trading market. Atleast Harker was, Angel had not listened to a word he said. His body was here, but his mind was on Buffy. She and Mariah had been gone for a while, he was starting to worry, and it wasn't because she was gone. It was worry about what would happen when Buffy came back, now that he knew the results of what his actions had done to Buffy, he was furious at himself. By leaving her he had hurt her more than he ever could by staying with her.
Angel knew it in his heart it would be hard to leave her, one look in her eyes and he would back down. But to give her the life she deserves, he would push all the selfishness of desperately wanting her. Angel was so wrapped up in his guilt trip, he never heard Harker calling him.
"Adam...Adam?!" Harker called, repeatedly
"What??"
Harker frowned. "Are you OK? Did you hear a word I said?"
Angel looked guilty. "I'm sorry." He said, turning his head away. "I've got other things on my mind."
"It's Elizabeth isn't it?" Harker analyzed
Angel snapped his head back to Harker, he didn't expect this man to know him so well, or the man he was trying to portray.
"What's happening between you two? Two days ago you two were inseparable, now you act so tense around each other, as if your strangers." Harker said, wanting to know what was going on with his best friend.
"Nothing" He said, trying to drop the subject.
"It's something." Harker insisted.
Angel sighed, seeing no other way to get out of this conversation. "We had a fight." He said, resigned
"What about?"
Angel stayed silent, he wasn't used to just pouring his heart out to anyone, and he was trying very hard not too. But this man was stubborn.
Harker wouldn't take that. "Come on Adam, this me you're talking too."
"I..I don't deserve her." Angel said, dropping his eyes to the ground. "I think she'd be better off without me."
"Adam, not again!" Harker replied, tossing his hands in the air. "Let's not go through this again!
Angel was now confused.
Harker breathed a sigh. "Adam, as I said before, if she didn't want you, why is she still here, why does she put up with things just to be with you?"
Angel considered the man's words. "Maybe, but..."
"No buts. I swear Adam will you ever get over this insecurity, the last time you were like this was right before your wedding."
Angel frowned just a bit, he found that he and this man he portrayed had a lot in common. Too much in common. Angel took Harker's advice, obviously breaking up with Buffy had not done either of them any good, he wanted her but his fears still clouded his mind.
"Adam just talk to her, you know she loves you, if she didn't want you she wouldn't put up with you, and believe me that's a hard task." Harker said, smiling
Angel couldn't help but smile.
Part 6
Mariah and Buffy decided to come back into the mansion, the sun was setting, and they had been out in the garden for a long time; long enough for them to finish their girl talk. When they walked back into the study, Buffy immediately made eye contact with Angel, and froze. All the emotions she pushed aside came rushing back, she wanted him, she wanted him to love her again, and prove that his devotion was just as great as hers. But Buffy couldn't understand what was holding him back, Angel was good at hiding his true intentions, but she could see right through him, and he was asking himself that same question.
Angel stared with a longing in his eyes, the kind of longing that never ceased when Buffy was near. The emotions he was hiding threatened to show, as she looked at him with the same yearning Angel had for her, if only he wasn't so afraid to show his vulnerability.
Mariah saw the look Buffy and Angel were giving each other, she decided it was time for them to be alone. "Darling." She said to Harker. "I think it's time we get home."
From the look on Mariah's face, Harker knew exactly what she meant. "Yes, you're right. We should be going."
Harker stood up and walked over to his wife, taking her arm. "We'll see you another time." He said, he leaned over and kissed Buffy on her cheek, and shook Angel's hand. Mariah gave her hugs and kisses as well.
Angel ever the gentlemen, escorted them to the door; Buffy followed only to the stairs and headed to the bedroom.
After Harker and Mariah exited the Mansion, Angel journeyed upstairs toward the bedroom. He paused for a second before going in, he found Buffy sitting at the vanity table brushing her golden tresses, now that it was no longer confined in it's restraints. Angel stood behind her looking at her reflection in the mirror, as well as his own. After making eye contact with Buffy, he walked out of sight and stepped onto the balcony in the night air. He had to get away from the look in her eyes, fearing the agonizing emotions in him would show. The moon glowed on Angel's face, reflecting the pain he felt, Angel was trying to come to terms with himself and the aching in his heart; he tried to ignore it, and pretend to enjoy his time here, but it wouldn't go away. Angel needed Buffy, only God knew how much, the raw emotions she evoked in him was like no other and if he couldn't control those emotions, the urges his heart demanded would intensify beyond return. No matter the desire to do so, Angel wasn't sure he wanted that to happen, but it would feel so right; now that nothing was holding them back. But there was.
A pair of arms encircling his waist, and the scent of strawberry and jasmine assaulting his senses brought Angel out of his deep thoughts. He glanced down at Buffy, their eyes locked, and the truth was evident between them. Unable to resist the question in her eyes, Angel pulled away from her, until Buffy's petite, yet strong hands grabbed his upper arm.
"Why are you doing this to us?" She asked softly
Angel pulled away roughly, and walked back into the room. The softness in her voice had unnerved him. He began to pace. "Don't ask me that."
Buffy had followed him back into the room, he looked like he was near the point of breaking down. "Why?" She demanded. "Why are you putting us through this?! After everything we've been through, why would you just break it off like this!!"
He stopped pacing and stood in front of her, his back to the fireplace, making his form glow throughout the room. "You know why Buffy, we can't be together. Not when I can still give you the life you deserve, a life without me."
"What if I don't want a life without you?! Did you ever think about what I want?"
"Buffy please, don't make this harder." Angel pleaded, he was so close to breaking down in front of her.
Buffy stared at him disbelief. "I'm making this harder?!" She looked him dead in the face and saw something she never seen before; fear. "What are you afraid of?"
Turning away from her, Angel look into the roaring fire. "Stop."
"No." Buffy's voice began to choke. "What are you afraid of !! Damn it Angel tell me!!!"
Angel turned quickly and grabbed Buffy by her upper arm, his fingers digging into her flesh. "YOU!! I'M AFRAID OF YOU!!" He confessed, tears rolled down his cheeks. "Everytime I'm around you, all I want to do is take you in my arms and claim you as mine!! That's why I'm leaving, I can't be around you and not be able to loose myself in you. And that feeling won't go away." Angel let go of her, and walked to the other side of the room, leaving Buffy to wrap her arms around herself.
He looked back at her, pain written all over his 'angelic' features. "I...I'm afraid of you." He whispered. "You're the only one who could ever make me feel like this, so vulnerable, and passionate at the same time. No one could ever make me feel the way you do, and if I stay near you any longer, I won't be able to control myself; it's even harder, now that nothing's holding us back."
Tears ran nonstop on Buffy's face, his agony was just as great as hers. She walked away from him, and sat on the edge of the bed. "I can't." She whispered, glaring up at him. "I can't control how I feel either, but that's how it's supposed to be. Isn't that what love is? Something you can't control...you can't control what you feel Angel."
Buffy watched him as if he was a stranger in front of her, and not the Angel she once knew. But did she really know Angel as well as she thought? "Or do you feel anything at all? Do you feel anything for me? Do you love me?
Angel glared at her in shock. "You know I love you."
Raising an eyebrow. "Do I? Obviously you don't, if you truly loved me, you couldn't hurt me like this."
Angel shook his head no, and he stormed across the room; pulling her into his arms. "I do Buffy, don't you ever doubt how much I love you. I never wanted to hurt you, I wanted to do what's right for both of us." He said, trying to convince her. Buffy's belief that he didn't love her anymore, stirred a rage in him. How could she believe that he did not love her? Angel glared into her eyes, almost warningly. "You may question a lot of things Buffy, but never question my feelings for you." He may have wanted what's best for her, but Buffy will never forget that she was his girl, always. And he will never let her forget it. His possessive nature reflected in his features, Buffy knew she had gotten to him.
"Never." She replied, Angel shook his head no. He was going to make sure she knew, she was loved. To hell with everything else.
Buffy and Angel stared into each others eyes, and were both mesmerized by the utter devotion that shone through them, silencing every doubt in their minds. Looking into her eyes, Angel could no longer deny her. The uncontrollable feeling of desire and unconditional love flared in him. He was tired of coming up with excuses, tired of doing what's right. It did them no good, they were miserable because Fate has a vendetta. But no more, it was time to take back the time Fate had stolen from them.
"Maybe we need to stop doing what's right." Angel said, he pushed his hand into her hair, and kissed her with all the pent up passion and frustration he felt. Buffy responded immediately, putting all her love and devotion into that kiss alone. That kiss promised much more, and it didn't cease until the need for air came over them.
She brought her hand up to stroke his cheek, feeling the warmth he now possessed. Angel went in for another kiss, but Buffy placed a finger over his lips to stop him, "If you ever try to leave me again, I'm gonna kick your ass." She said smiling.
Smiling back at her, Angel leaned down and lightly brushed her forehead with his lips. Pulling her chin up so he could look again to her eyes wanting her to know how truthfully he spoke. "Forgive me, I'm sorry for hurting you. I just thought that you would hate me for keeping you from the things you should have, like a normal life. I couldn't give you the things you deserve, and it killed me to know that I never could.
She traced his lips lightly with her finger. "I don't care about that, all I care about is you." She gazed up at him with intense passion. " You're all I want, all I ever wanted." She smiled as he kissed her fingertips. "Its enough, knowing that you never stopped loving me..."
Angel pulled her into a fierce kiss. The moon shone through the high window and bathed them in it's glow as the two lovers stayed locked in a passionate embrace.
Part 7
Still locked in a lover's embrace, Angel led Buffy towards the bed. He started undoing the strings to her bodice, while Buffy pulled Angel's jacket from his arms. Buffy moaned softly; as Angel began kissing a trail across her jawline. The bodice began to loosen, and fall off her shoulders. Angel raised his head looking Buffy in the eyes, silently asking did she want to continue. Tears sprang to her eyes, as she nodded her answer. It had been so long for them, and now that they could finally indulge into their passions; it was pure bliss.
"I love you." Angel whispered.
Before Buffy could reply, she was interrupted by Angel's lips on hers. Angel eased her down onto the bed as he deepened the kiss. Buffy moaned at the return of her lover's lips, and began undressing him, as he undressed her. When clothes were no longer a barrier, their souls became one, once again.The light of the moon washed over them, as the lovers lost themselves in a world of intense desire and unconditional love; the intensity ravished them to the point beyond return.
**
Angel awoke slowly, adjusting his eyes from the embrace of sleep. He laid in bed, contentedly. He was wrapped with silk, but wrapped in his arms possessively, was the woman he cherished more than his own life. Angel felt invigorated, he felt free; like he could do anything. He felt Buffy's heart beat speed up, and she stirred in his arms. Buffy raised her head, and looked into her lover's eyes. Her heart soared at the thought, she now could once again call him her lover, once more. Laying her head back down upon his chest, she pressed into his body, causing him to tighten his hold on her. No words were spoken, no words needed to be spoken between them; their bond had gotten stronger, and words were not needed to express their love. Anything that needed to be said, was said the night before. Whatever happened, was in the past, and it was going to stay there, without regrets or doubts. It was evident to them by the look of their embrace.
"I'm hungry" She murmured, that was one thing that needed to be said.
"Me too." Angel said, and he began kissing along her face.
Buffy smiled demurely at his teasing, but hunger was really plaguing her. "For food."
Angel nodded, he too was starving. But he could bring himself to leave the bed, and her embrace.
Eventually the lovers retreated from the bed, to dress and have breakfast together, both enjoying each others company. They didn't think about what would happen when they went back to the future and they didn't think of how their relationship would be either. Instead they concentrated on the now, and the wonderful feelings they evoked in one another.
The day was pure heaven for Buffy and Angel, time seemed to go slow for them, just to enjoy the moment. Realizing it was past breakfast time, the lovers decided to enjoy a meal outside. After telling Sarah their plans, she smiled, and went to prepare a basket of fruits, sandwiches, and bread.They went and found a secluded spot with a lake, 2 miles from the mansion. The sun shone brightly, as Angel laid the blanket out and the couple sat down, basically in each other's laps. They ate their sandwiches slowly, every so often feeding each other, and giving each other a gentle kiss.
After they were done, Angel laid back, and Buffy laid down with her head on his chest, entwining her hand with his. He wrapped his arm around her and lightly stroked her arm with his other hand.
"I love you Buffy," he said quietly.
Buffy closed her eyes, those words had given her more pleasure than any amount of intimacy they shared. "I love you." She whispered. Now was the time for peace between them, not heartache, and pain.
When they knew their food had digested, Buffy began to lure Angel into a game of cat and mouse. "How much do you love me???" Buffy said teasingly
"I can't really say...why don't I show you?" Angel teased back
Moving away from where Angel sat. "You have too catch me" She sang
Angel jumped up and the chase began. Buffy and Angel forgot everything, except each other, to them they were a happily married couple.
Part 8
Giles frantically looked over all his volumes, to make sure the spell was correct. They didn't have much time, they still needed to make sure the demon would stay dormant and right now it was only frozen; for the time being. Willow came from Giles' office with a look of relief.
"I found the correct spell, it's the same as the first spell, only the wording is different, we need Buffy and Angel here; now."
Giles nodded and took off his glasses to pinch his nose, a sign that he was thinking under major stress. "Um..I think I found a way to bring Angel and Buffy back sooner than tomorrow night." Giles took a book from the other pile, and showed Willow the page. "If we perform this spell in the view of the sun, it will substitute the power of the moon...it makes sense, the moon and sun have equal power."
"Then we have to do it now!!!" Willow said, hurriedly. "Does the spell need anything?"
"No...we can do it now." Giles got out of his seat to light candles.
**
Angel traced his hand along Buffy's side, after their little game; the two settled down on the blanket, where they eventually made love in the sunlight. Buffy sat in his lap fully clothed now, as Angel was enjoying the aftermath of their union, kissing each other passionately.
Buffy pulled away first breathless. "Should we head back?" She asked, his mouth returning to hers immediately.
Angel didn't want to speak, he wanted to enjoy the moment with Buffy. Kissing her in the sunlight, watching the sunlight glow on her skin; Angel wanted to savor every moment as he savored the feel of her in his arms. He pulled away, ready to give Buffy his answer, until a dark cloud shadowed over the sun, and the sky became a pale gray...
**
In Sunnydale.. Giles and Willow held each others hands while they both of chanted in sync... "Gods of Time, hear our prayer..."
**
Buffy and Angel got up from their spot, and looked around, they both had feelings that something was about to happen.
Taking her hand." Let's go." Angel said, pulling her from their secluded area, leaving the things they came with and headed back toward the mansion.
Angel and Buffy began to pick up the pace, as the sky got darker. Buffy found it hard to run, she kept tripping over the skirts of her dress, and she was unable to hold them up like before. Angel noticed this, he stopped and picked her up into his arms; and ran back to the mansion, it was in his sight.
**
Giles pulled Willow's hands in the air along with his and chanted louder. "Guide your travels through your passage...let the light shine their way!!"
**
When they reached the garden of the mansion, Angel set Buffy down, and they rushed to the door of the house, and a light blinded their eyes...
Buffy and Angel found themselves on the floor of the library, with Willow and Giles leaning over them.
Willow scrambled next to them. "Are you guys ok??" She said, pulling them both into a fierce hug, she was worried about them, and she was glad they were safe. "I'm so glad you guys are all right."
Buffy and Angel returned the hug, while staring at each other the entire time, behind Willow's back, and the tears began to form in Buffy's eyes.
Giles breathed a sigh, when they acknowledged they were all right, he helped Willow and Buffy get up off the floor, and encased Buffy in a hug of his own. "Welcome home.." He whispered, extending his hand to Angel, for a handshake; also acknowledging the now ensouled vampire his relief of his safety as well.
"I'm sorry, I must cut this short, but the demon we originally tried to stop, isn't dormant."
Buffy and Angel looked at each other, silently and nodded. They walked toward each other and entwined their hands. Giles and Willow began performing the correct spell, as Giles chanted louder, Willow pulled out the same dagger as before, and struck their hands. As their blood mixed, and ran down the danger onto the floor, the portal closed; the demon was dormant, permanently.
Buffy pulled from Angel in tears. In the back of her mind, she had wished that she and Angel could go back to their little world, where nothing existed but them, where nothing stood between them, and their love was free. She wobbled slightly, but Giles held her up. "You alright? What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm just tired..." She said, avoiding his eyes, she looked to Angel and he avoided her gaze, a look of pain crossed his features. Willow noticed this as well.
Giles nodded. "That's understandable...Let's get you home; so you can rest."
Buffy nodded, and Giles and Willow helped her to the door, she was a bit wobbly. Buffy looked backed in search for Angel, but he had disappeared, without a word, and dread once again clutched Buffy's heart.
Part 9- epilogue
The next morning at the mansion, Angel sat in front of the fireplace, mesmerized by it's flames, remembering the light of the flames glowing on Buffy's face. She was on his mind heavily, and visions of her came to him every moment. He was pulled from his thoughts, when the smell of jasmine and strawberry assaulted his senses once again, Angel turned and there Buffy stood by the couch, fiddling with her hands. She didn't look so good, her face was pale, and she had black circles under her eyes. It was obvious she didn't get any sleep last night.
He stood up and walked toward her. "How are you?" He whispered
"Not good."
Angel took her hand in his. "I know." He said, pulling her in his arms, he needed to feel her in his arms.
The tears began to form again, Buffy held him tightly. When she pulled away, she looked into his eyes, and reached up to caress his face. She wondered where they were now in their relationship, now that something was holding them back.
Angel saw the questions in her eyes, and led her to sit on the couch. "Buffy...I know we have to talk, but I don't want to talk."
Buffy listened closely.
"There's nothing to talk about, I said I was never going to hurt you again, and I won't."
A smile crept on Buffy's face, through the tears. She pulled him into a hug, and breathed a sigh, she was afraid he would just dismiss there time together and leave her anyway, because it was the right thing to do. But he didn't, and she loved him even more for it.
Pulling away. "I was afraid, you would pull a 'I'm leaving for your own good' speech" She said, sniffling.
Angel wiped her tears, and kissed her on the forehead. "No...you're stuck with me." Getting more serious. "Buffy those days were the happiest days of my life...well not the fighting, but spending them with you, made feel so blessed, and I'm not gonna let you go, I couldn't.
"Me too." Buffy said, and she kissed him gently, and pulled him into another hug, she knew they could make it.
Send feedback to Krystal
Back to the Fanfiction Archive