Distribution: Anyone who has permission for any of my other stories may have this too. Others, ask and I will most likely give permission.
Feedback: I love it more than I love Angel chained to my…um…I love and desire feedback.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to God (aka Joss), the WB, Mutant Enemy, FOX, Sanddollar, I guess UPN now too, and whoever else came up with them. If they belonged to me the show would be drastically different. Songs belongs to NSYNC, who perform them wonderfully, and whoever wrote them for the group. Please don't sue, I'm only a high-school grad without a job anyways.
Rating: Same as the TV show.
Spoilers: This takes place the summer after the fourth season. None of Buffy S5 or Angel S2 has happened. Parts from BtVS's or Angel's might be mentioned, but they will be brief references with no real spoilery issues.

The gang stood staring at Giles' front door for several moments after it closed, the slam it had made with Riley's departure still echoing throughout the house.

"Buffy?" Angel finally said softly, coming up behind her.

She turned to face him, her look questioning.

"Can we talk somewhere?"

Buffy looked around the room abruptly, seeming to remember for the first time since the scene Riley had made that she wasn't alone in the room.

"Um, yeah, good idea." Buffy said after a quick look around. She caught Giles' eyes and he nodded his head, motioning towards the stairs.

Buffy headed up them at once, and Angel was left to follow. Buffy by-passed Giles' bedroom, heading into the only other room upstairs, one she knew her Watcher used as a library and study room.

Angel entered after her, closing the door behind them.

"So." They both said at the same time.

That produced a small smile on both their parts, upon which each then gestured for the other to continue.

"You really mean everything you said down there." Angel said softly, his voice full of awe and curiosity, but not a hint of question.

"Yeah, I did." Buffy replied with a small smile. "I'm a big girl now, Angel. And it took me lots of thinking, but I've finally figured out a lot of things. Like I said down there, I know why you left, and I know it was what you had to do. For both of us."

"Buffy, we've both said and done some things that…"

"We're sorry for." Buffy completed his sentence, causing him to give her another half-smile at the familiar mannerism. "In my case, Angel, I'm sorry for hurting you."

"You don't have to be sorry for that, I hurt you too."

"Let me finish." Buffy held up her hand. "Angel, I'm sorry because I hurt you. But more than that, I'm sorry because I was deliberately trying to hurt you. When you broke up with me I was too hurt to understand, I didn't even try. I just wanted you to hurt as much as I did, and I didn't think you were because you made it seem in some ways like it wasn't a big deal to you at all. I know I was being childish, especially since I know now how much you were hurting already, and…"

"Buffy, this isn't all your fault." Angel took a few steps closer to her.

"I did make it seem like it wasn't a big deal, even though it was the hardest thing I had ever done. You know I'm not, I'm not good at showing you how I feel, and for so many years before I met you I felt nothing that I just retreat to that whenever I feel threatened."

Buffy's eyes widened at his words, and for a moment she didn't say anything.

"Buffy?" Angel asked, puzzled by her silence.

"You really have changed. You're right about what you said when I was in L.A.; I really don't know you anymore." Buffy said sadly. She'd never, in a hundred years, expected to hear him admit something like what he just had.

"You do know me, Buffy." Angel hesitated, then reached out and took her hand. "Maybe better than anybody, because you saw me as a man, even when I couldn't see myself as one. And I know I'm not the person you see, not yet, but I know I'm going to be one day."

"You're going to be human." Buffy whispered, even after reading it downstairs it hadn't quite settled in. It did now.

"One day." Angel replied.

~When clouds above you~
~Start to pour~
~And all of you doubts~
~Rage like a storm~

"And you didn't want me to know because you knew I'd wait for you." Buffy repeated what had been said downstairs.

~Someday~
~Somewhere~

"I don't know when or how this will happen, Buffy. You can't waste your life…"

~And you don't know~
~Who you are anymore~
~Let me help you find~
~What you've been searching for~

"You have to save the world, right? Avert the apocalypse?" Buffy almost laughed. "Well, The Powers must have a really odd definition of saving the world, cause you've done that how many times now?"

Angel almost laughed as well. "That's the problem. They must have one specific thing in mind, and who knows when that will be."

"I don't care." Buffy whispered.

"Buffy…"

~Girl I know you think no one sees~
~The weight on your shoulders~
~But you can't fool me~
~And aren't you tired standing so tall~

"No, Angel, listen to me. There has to be a reason why The Powers sent you back here, and it can't be just for this one battle. It can't be." Buffy wanted to say more, but she had gotten so used to shutting everyone out of her heart that she couldn't.

She wasn't the girl he had left two years ago, she had lost any shred of innocence she still possessed during her time without him. She had learned to rely only on herself, and she couldn't bring herself to say that she needed him. She wasn't used to needing anybody.

~Let me be the one~
~To catch you when you fall~
~Let me bring you joy~
~Let me bring you peace~

"I want to stay, Buffy. I want more than anything to be with you." Angel trailed off for a moment, then went on. "But we'll only have the same problems we did before."

"But we've both changed, Angel. I think we could handle things now." Angel started to interrupt her, but she released one of his hands and put her fingers over his lips. "You left me so I could have a normal life, but I think you know as well as I do that a normal life is the one thing I can never have. I'm the Slayer. It's not a job I do, it's who I am. And a normal Slayer is the ultimate oxymoron."

"You know that's not the only reason I left."

"I know, but I think it's the most important reason. You thought that one day I would get upset that by being with you I couldn't have a normal life. You thought someday I would end up hating you for taking that away from me. But you didn't take it away Angel; my calling did that. You were the only thing that made it bearable." She admitted the last part in a whisper, the shell around her heart finally beginning to crack.

"Buffy." Angel tried again, but Buffy still had more to say.

"I know that was part of the problem. Co-dependence isn't exactly a great base for a relationship. But so much has changed since then."

"What's changed?"

"I used to think that I couldn't live without you. It's taken me two years, but I finally realize that I can. I just don't want to." Buffy said gently, taking his other hand again.

Angel looked deep into her eyes, seeing the strength and understanding in her soul.

"See, this means that you could walk away from me right now. You could walk out of here, you could leave me all alone again, and I wouldn't need anyone to rescue me. I wouldn't flit from guy to guy trying to find someone to replace that hole in my heart, because I would be okay on my own." Buffy reached up with one hand to softly cup the side of his face. "But I'd miss you forever."

Angel leaned his face into her hand without even thinking about it, closing his eyes to savor the familiar warmth of her fingers. "I'm not going anywhere."

Buffy's hand drew back abruptly, and he opened his eyes to find her staring at him in wonder. "You mean?"

"You might be okay on your own, but I'm not. As much as I try to be, it's just so hard to fight when it seems like I'm not fighting for anything. But if I'm with you, and if I see you every day, and know that one day I'll be worthy of all the love in your eyes…for that, I'd fight the devil himself."

~Let me give you heart~
~Let me give you hope~
~Be the one constant love~
~That you've never known~

"And you'd win." Buffy whispered, her hand again coming to his face.

Angel put his own hand over hers, caressing her fingers even as she used them to draw his head down and closer to her.

They kissed gently, softly, as if they were afraid this was too good to be true and their soulmate might vanish at any instant.

But neither of them did, and when they finally deepened the kiss, they came together with a frightening intensity. Hands and lips were everywhere.

Angel's hands trailed under Buffy's shirt, and just as each of them realized that this was about to go to far, they heard a voice from outside.

"Um, Buffy? Angel?" Giles was outside, and clearly had no interest on walking in on something he should not. "If you're through, I believe we've found what we were searching for."

Buffy and Angel broke apart, grinning like children.

"Duty calls."

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