Series: LoveOdyssey
Distribution: Anyone who has permission for any of my other stories may have this too. Others, ask and I will most likely give permission.
Feedback: I love it more than I love Angel chained to my, um, I love and desire feedback.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to God (aka Joss), the WB, Mutant Enemy, FOX, Sanddollar, I guess UPN now too, and whoever else came up with them. If they belonged to me the show would be drastically different. Songs belongs to NSYNC, who perform them wonderfully, and whoever wrote them for the group. Please don't sue, I'm only a high-school grad without a job anyways.
Rating: Same as the TV show.
Spoilers: This takes place the summer after the fourth season. None of Buffy S5 or Angel S2 has happened. Parts from BtVS's or Angel's might be mentioned, but they will be brief references with no real spoilery issues.
Author's Notes: This is my newest series. It begins a few weeks after "Restless" and "To Shanshu in LA" and goes on from there. Stories will sort-of be self-contained, meaning that none will end with huge, huge cliffhangers, but you're gonna get confused if you read some and not others. As is probably obvious from the name of the series, I had a huge inspiration for this series. I went to the NSYNC PopOdyssey concert in Milwaukee, WI on June 26, and realized for the first time just how many of their songs can be used in some way to fit B&A stories. So each story in this series will be based on and quote one of their wonderful songs. And yes, I realize that some people don't like NSYNC, maybe even hate them, but that doesn't mean you won't like this series. I'm not gonna use the whole songs or anything, and the lyrics are really very beautiful if you just listen to them and get over your dislike of the boys themselves. I hope everyone enjoys these stories.
--Buffy's thoughts of her Angel

'Riley's picking me up for our date in a few hours, and I know I should be running around getting ready, but I just can't seem to care.'

Buffy re-read what she had just written in her diary, realizing how harsh it sounded. She was about to cross it off, but decided not to. If she couldn't be honest in her diary, where could she be honest?

~And you know that I miss you~
~And you know I can't live without you~
~I'm praying each day that your love will come back my way~

Closing and locking her diary with a sigh, she flopped back on her bed and daydreamed. As always, Angel popped into her mind.

Buffy felt a momentary flash of guilt when she thought of him, as she always did, as if somehow she was cheating on Riley by thinking of Angel.

'But you're cheating on Angel by being with Riley.'

'Whoa! Where the heck did that thought come from?' Buffy wondered. 'Angel left me!' She told the little voice in her head.

'But he still loves you.' It argued.

Buffy rubbed her temples; these internal debates always gave her a headache. She tried to turn her thoughts back to Riley, tried to make herself think of his muscular body or his cute face or his spikey brown hair…wait, ack. She was doing it again.

For some reason she just couldn't get Angel off her mind.

She always thought of him a little; he was always in the back of her mind. But recently, ever since school got out, she had found herself thinking of him more and more.

~In my dreams I still hold you~
~In my dreams are you still with me~

She didn't think of Riley at all, actually. She had at first; her dreams of a normal boyfriend were realized and she was very pleased with herself.

But then she started to realize that the dreams couldn't live up to the reality.

Sure, she had always dreamed of being a normal girl with a normal boyfriend. But that boy had always been Angel, miraculously human and normal.

The reality of Riley just couldn't live up to the dream.

She liked him, she really did. She was pretty sure that given time, then could end up as close a friends as her and Xander were. But she knew, somehow, that she would never love him any more than she did Xander.

And that thought was sobering, because he was exactly what she had wanted. Exactly what she looked for when she tried to get a college boyfriend. And if he couldn't make her happy, who could?

'Angel.' That little voice spoke up again.

With practiced control, she silenced it. She had gotten good at that, shutting out her feelings and just pretending to be whoever her friends wanted her to be.

She barely mentioned Angel; she hadn't ever since he left. They assumed that out of sight was out of mind, but if any of them had really listened to her or watched her they would have known just how much she had been hurt. Still was, if the truth was known.

She had given Angel everything, and he had almost destroyed her by leaving.

~I will give you~
~The best of my life~
~Yes, I'll give you~
~All that you need~

The phone rang, and Buffy picked it up, slipping the wall back into place around her heart as effortlessly as she slipped on a new shirt.

"Hello?"

"Hey Buffy, it's Riley."

"Oh, hi honey." She replied, peppy and full of life again.

"I just wanted to make sure you remembered that I'll be there in about an hour, at one-thirty."

"Sure I did." Buffy replied. "I was just getting ready."

"Oh, then I won't keep you." Riley said sweetly. "See you in an hour."

"Yeah, see you."

"I love you." Riley said.

"Mm-hum." Buffy mumbled. "Bye."

"See you." Riley echoed. If he was disappointed by her lack of response he didn't show it.

~Anything you want~
~I will give it to you~

Buffy set the receiver in the cradle, her hand stopping there for a second. She suddenly got the strangest feeling. It felt like Angel was in the room. Closing her eyes in concentration, Buffy reached out with her feelings, trying to locate what was making her feel like Angel was around.

For another brief second she thought she felt him. "Angel." She whispered.

Then the feeling was gone.

~Lord, tell me please what can I do~
~Where is the love that we used to know~
~Our love~
~These beautiful days we used to share~

Walls firmly in place again, the shell of Buffy Summers began to get ready for her date.

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