Rating: PG
Summery: Takes place 8 months after IWRY, something's happened to Buffy.
Disclaimer: Nothing's mine. All belongs to Joss.
Distribution: Cynamin, Rae, Alicia, Rave, Serena, Cavlise, anyone else, just tell me where it's going.
Feedback: As always, greatly appreciated!
Notes: I'm writing this when I'm extremely depressed. I lost a good friend a few weeks ago and I think some of the major details have finally hit me. I feel rather sick, I know now that she was in a coma for 4 days before she died, and before that, drugged so much she barely knew her own family. I never had a chance to see, or say good-bye to her, and that I'll always regret. But I'm going on now, I'm sorry. If the story seems depressing, you know why.
Dedication: To my friend, I'll always remember you.

I sit here beside her bed now, staring at her, and the swelling of her 8 month pregnancy. I know who's child it is, I think I always have even before I was actually told. The others, even Riley, know as well, though Riley is in denial. I would be too.

I didn't truly know she was pregnant with my child from that one glorious day at Thanks Giving until a week ago. A week ago my world was together, and I thought everything was fine. Buffy had moved on and was happy and I, well I was feeling less pain. I think that day kept, no keeps, me going. But a week ago, both mine and Buffy's worlds fell apart. A week ago, Buffy slipped into a coma.

No one knew exactly how it happened. All knew of her pregnancy, and all knew that I was the father. Buffy had told them of dreams she had had, and at first they'd thought she was just doing that, dreaming. Then, to prove her point, Buffy had a test run to determine the origin of the child and the DNA wasn't Riley's. I have to admit, he took it well, though right now he's saying that I must have done some sort of spell to make the child mine.

I don't care what they think, really. All I know is that Buffy is carrying my child, and now both their lives are in danger. She was put into a coma by a serious battle with, not a demon, but a car. As Willow tells it, they were walking home together when a car sped out of no where and hit Buffy. I didn't get specific details accept that amazingly, the baby wasn't hurt. Buffy, though, was another story. The doctors had had to operate on her to repair some broken bones and her liver had been damaged. They had thought, at first, that she would be fine with a little down time. But as time past and she didn't wake up after the surgery, they realized that perhaps, she wouldn't be okay.

I faced a dilemma now, as the father of the child inside her. They had asked the gang if they should go ahead and C-section Buffy, to at least save the baby. They, amazingly, told them that it wasn't their decision. So it was mine. And I knew what I had to choose. I bent down to kiss Buffy's forehead softly. Maybe, just maybe, the Powers That Be would bring her back to me. Just maybe.

***

I'm back where I was previously sitting, only now, I hold my baby girl in my arms. Buffy made it through the surgery, though the doctors had warned us that in her present condition, she might not. I look at her face, expressionless and pale. I can't help but begin to talk to her.

"Look, Buffy. Look at what we made huh? She's ours, every inch of her. I wish that you could see her, she looks just like you. Please, Buffy, don't leave me alone, I don't know if I can stand it. I don't want to raise our daughter without a mother." I stop and wipe tears from my face. "I don't know if I can. You're what's kept me going since the first day I met you. Even in LA, the thought of you always made me continue on with my life. What am I supposed to do without you?" I look at her, as if expecting an answer. God, and I get one.

I stare in amazement as Buffy's eyes slowly open and she smiles. Her eyes are feverishly clear and they shown with a light that seems to radiate from her very soul. I feel tears run down my cheek, but they aren't happy ones. Somehow, I know that she is going to leave me after she says what she needs to. So I hold our daughter and wait.

"I think you'll make it Angel. In fact, I know it. I'll always be there, just behind you, watching you like you used to watch me. You'll always have me in your memories, and our daughter will keep my memory alive as well. I, I don't want to leave you and her, but I have to. I know, though, that we'll meet again. Maybe not soon, but we will. I have a name for our daughter Angel, I thought it up long ago. Her name is Julia. Take good care of her, and don't forget me, okay?" Her eyes suddenly fill with tears, and I know that I will take good care of Julia no matter what. "I love you." she whispers, her voice horse. She reaches out her hand one last time to me and I take it, holding it to my cheek.

"I, I love you too, Buffy." I hoarsely intone back. "Do you have time to hold our daughter?" I choke out. She nods, and gently I place Julia in her arms. I see joy shine in her brilliant green eyes for a second as our daughter looks up at her and makes a small noise.

"Hi, sweetie. I know you won't remember me, but I hope you'll always know that I love you, just as much as I love your daddy." Fresh tears run down her cheek and she holds our daughter close, closing her eyes.

I watch, feeling my heart break in a million pieces as my love dies, holding Julia in her arms. I hear the steady flat drone of the monitors, but don't bother to call anyone. I gently take my daughter from her mother's arms and as if realizing what has just happened, she begins to cry. I sob out my sorrow as well in that little hospital room, my dead lover only a few feet away. "I promise, I'll take good care of her, my love." I whisper through my tears.

***

It's been five years since Buffy's death. I'm here in the cemetery with a single white rose, my daughter's hand clasping mine. "Where are we going, Daddy?" she asks innocently.

"To visit your mother's grave." I tell her. She's been here before, but I doubt she remembers.

We approach a small, grassy plot with a grave marker carrying Buffy's name. The few words written on it saying that she was a good daughter and friend don't seem enough to describe her. I lift my daughter in my arms and she looks solemnly at the stone. I lay the white rose on the stone gently and spend a few minutes just standing there silently. Julia seems to understand, and is also quiet. I tell Buffy what's happened since I last visited. Suddenly, Julia pulls on my sleeve. "Daddy, tell me about Mommy." she says.

I smile and carry her away from the cemetery, sending a silent good-bye and a promise of another visit soon, to Buffy. "She was a beautiful woman, who cared a lot about everyone she knew...." I begin the task of telling my daughter about her wonderful mother who still holds my heart.

Okay, I know it was probably poorly written, sorry. It was just away to vent my depression.

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