DISCLAIMER: I am not Joss. Though it might seem a lot like it when you finish reading…I am *not* Joss.
RATING: PG to PG-13
CONTENT: swearing…even a rumored Tissue Warning
SYNOPSIS: Sequel to Numquam Iterum, Dawn’s POV
SPOILERS: The B/A canon…Most of Buffy and Angel.
DISTRIBUTION: Land of Denial. If you want it…ask me. I’ll say, yes, but I wanna know where it’s posted.
AUTHOR’S NOTES: I wanna thank Sara Lee, Mexx, Jaime (I know you asked for a *happy* ending), Morgan, MM, Star, and the people who reviewed it at fanfiction.net for their wonderful feedback. I’m sorry it took so long to punch this out. I couldn’t stop crying like a moron…my keyboard’s all wet.

It looked like it came straight out of a romance novel.

Against the rising sunrise, Angel came towards us, Buffy in his arms.

I thought they’d finally gotten their happily ever after. I could picture smiles and happiness—the fluffiness of the moment…how much they both deserved it.

Even after all those years, I will never be able to forgive Willow for bringing my sister back. It cost us more than a demon. It gave us all more grief…it gave Buffy grief.

As Angel came closer, you could see the pain in his eyes and rivulets of tears that tracked down his cheeks.

You can only inflict so much pain on one person…Angel is of the strongest, most human people I know.

But when you find your one true love’s corpse sprawled over you just after you receive your Shanshu that took you 5 fucking years to get…you’ll have to break eventually.

I know I would.

She looked just like she was sleeping…finally resting soundly in Angel’s arms after all the battles were over and done with. Peaceful.

She never looked that way—not since Angel left so long ago. I don’t think Willow or Xander ever saw that…it took a ball of energy with the mentality of a 14 year-old to figure it out.

Willow wanted to bring her back again. So, I burned it all—the books, the spells. I think she resents me a little for that. But she dealt.

He sat down on the grass under a tree with her still in his arms. Angel brushed a stray hair away from her cheek gently…as if even the lightest touch could wake her.

He dug her grave himself. It was raining that day. Connor wouldn’t stop bawling…who couldn’t when they’d lost their only mother? Angel came back in the middle of the night, wet and dirty…still filled with emptiness.

There was no more sunlight for Angel, no matter how bright it was outside. But I’m not saying that he abandoned his son…never smiled or laughed.

Connor was the reason for everything. The reason why Angel didn’t kill himself. The reason Angel still made pancakes. The reason Angel smiled and joked.

He pressed a kiss to her cold cheek and laid her down in the grass just before the ambulance came.

Buffy’s second death was more than enough for Angel. He was afraid of forgetting. Forgetting who she was…what she’d done.

Every one of Connor’s bedtime stories were and still are about the brave princess that saved the world and loved a beast. We both can hear the affection in Angel’s voice…the almost in audible crack in it as he painted a picture of her face with words.

“She had hair of golden sunshine…soft and silky. And hazel eyes you could drown in…”

I stay with them. *They* are my sister’s real family…

Her image has faded from the memories of the very people she’d given up most of her life…her love for.

Willow denies ever knowing a girl who sent her only love to hell to save the world. Xander and Anya have left California—they’re somewhere in New York. Giles and Wesley are in England. Faith is the Slayer now. Even Buffy’s memory slipped her mind. Spike ran off with Dru…it’s not like I expected him not to. But Cordy and Gunn still visit, though. They still remember.

Whenever Connor or Angel smiles, I see her in them. Don’t get me wrong—I know that Connor isn’t hers. But I think she’s there somehow...we just can’t see her.

And when I think back…she deserved more than the freak show of a life she was given. She at least deserved a happily ever after. Rest.

But she wasn’t a fairytale princess…doomed to scream in the face of evil.

She was more.

No matter how many times Angel kisses her, she’ll never wake up.

Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White can kiss my ass.

There is no happily ever after.

There are no Prince Charmings…at least ones that aren’t idiots.

The bad guys don’t stop coming, ever.

The Powers That Be screwed my potential brother in-law and my sister fifty times over. Why the hell should I believe in them, much less a stupid fairytale?

I’ll never believe.

Ever.

Send feedback to Laka

Back to the Fanfiction Archive