DISCLAIMER: Angel is in L.A dealing with the bad guys. Buffy is in Sunnydale buried and mourned for. They aren't together. They don't have smoochies. They are SO not mine.
DISTRIBUTION: E-mail me. I'll say yes.
AN: I tried to write a sequel for 'Afterlife'. I ended up with this. I don't know how... blame the dark coffee. Anyway, I like this little story though it's a little strange, especially the first part. Enjoy it.
AN2: I need a beta-reader. Urgently. Are you one? Do you know one? Please e-mail me.
SUMMARY: Many centuries in the future two lovers are finally reunited. But will it be enough? B/A issues.
FEEDBACK: *Very* appreciated. So be nice and tell me what you think.

I don't remember how I appeared here. I was discussing the same as always... Well, maybe 'discussing' wasn't it. Pleading, begging, threatening and blackmailing would be more exact. But anyways, suddenly a bright ray of light appeared from nowhere and ZOOM here I was.

First I didn't recognize the place. I mean, it's been a LOT of time since the last time I was here. And then I realized: Wherever I was it was the place where I should be. I don't care why they finally agreed with this. Now I only know I have to find him. Only him.

I have been walking for hours, maybe even days. I've let my instincts led me, I've followed the little voice which always told me where he is. I'm hearing it for the first time since I was 18 and stupid. I'm hearing it with all my might.

But I still can't find him.

Where are you, love?

There was a time where I could find him in the most secret place of the world, where I knew his feelings as if they were my own. Then I shut down those feelings...and I still dreamt of him even when I swore I had forgotten his face. Our connection broke and I let it do so. Now I want it to awake anew. I'm letting it guide me and I know it is leading me towards him. But why is it taking so long?

Right. Left. Right. Left. I know that this path leads only to him. Every option I take will only lead to him again. It has always been that way. My entire life is a circle where he begins and ends it. He just didn't know it. The path I'm taking now should go to him too... but it's so long, when will I finally reach you?

I'm tired. Hour upon hour of unstoppable walking has finally taken its toll on me. I sit on a bench of this strange park. The green leaves are bright in the light of the new day. The flowers rejoice under the loving sun. They are lucky for they have everything they need right here. I must go find the one who would help me stay alive.

Where are you, love?

I know I must go on. I must find him. He is somewhere in this strange world and I can't stop until he is with me again. But

I am so tired. Just let me rest for a minute or two... I close my eyes and let my mind wander for a while.

I am dreaming now, I know it. I'm dreaming that we are together and that we are happy. We are sitting contentedly against a tree and his arms are tight around me. We are happy. He is telling me that he loves me and that he will never leave me again. I smile. This is heaven. It isn't real and it isn't enough. But it is still nice to hear him say-.

"Are you ok, miss?"

Huh? I must be dreaming again because I could swear that I heard his voice and I know it's impossible. I open my eyes slowly. There's someone above me eyeing me with curiosity and I know who he is and I know that I am still dreaming because I should be the one finding him and not the other way around.

"Miss?"

Brown eyes, dark hair, mild soothing voice. It's him. The same strong features I've longed to see for so much time. The cheek which I let myself trace slowly now. Soft, pale skin. The lips I want to touch with my own. Just a kiss and all this loneliness will go away.

I've missed you.

At last I found you, love.

"What are you doing, miss?"

Or maybe not.

You retire my hands from your face. Don't you know that they are begging for another touch? You look at me with those brown soft eyes. They are wondering. They want answers. They look at me searchingly and found none. Don't you know that there is no answer? Don't you know that I can't give you one? But your eyes still hold questions and the harsh truth comes down onto me.

YOU

DON'T

KNOW

"Don't you know me?" I ask in a whisper praying that your response will be the one I want. It isn't. I can feel the question lurking in your eyes. You are watching my eyes, my lips, the little nose you liked to kiss and you still don't know who I am. Where does that leave me?

"I'm sorry, miss. I think you have confused me for another."

"No." There won't be confusion anymore. It's been enough. How could I ever confuse you? You were always in my mind; you were the only one who could make laugh, who could make me cry... you just don't remember it. The Powers That Be warned me that this would happen. I just didn't believe them. I believed in you. Guess I was wrong. "Don't you know me?" I repeat. Please remember me.

"I have never seen you before, miss"

Never? You have seen me at my weakest; you have seen me at my strongest. You have loved me, you have hated me and you have ignored me. You really don't remember anything? Don't you remember the kisses under the moonlight? The words of love and hate... the smiles, the tears? Don't you remember *us*? Your eyes tell me you don't. They never lied before and they won't do it now. I just wish...

Do you even remember yourself? I would gladly tell you, dear. You are the one who swore to give me eternal love. How long does 'eternal' mean for you, love? Not even one millennium has passed and you have already forgotten me. Should I be mad?

"You promised. You promised and you forgot. I hate you" No, I don't. I always wanted to, though. Damn heart of mine, always loving you without caring for its own health...

"Are you feeling well, miss?"

No I'm not. I came back for you and you don't even remember. I managed to convince them to bring me back and you won't take me in your arms. I've been missing you for the last six centuries and you don't even know who I am. And you ask if I feel well?

I'm sorry. Maybe my reaction should have been better. It's not for nothing that they warned me. I just didn't want to believe. They told me oblivion was part of your reward. No more guilt over past faults. You wouldn't remember your own sins. Was I a sin, too? Is it the reason you've forgotten me? "No... I- I don't think so."

"Where do you live, miss? Maybe I should accompany you home."

"Yeah, maybe but-" But I don't know where to go. You are the one supposed to tell me what to do, you always did. I'm counting on you to do this one more time... even if just for old time's sake... "But..." But I never knew where to go except to your arms. What should I do when you won't crush me in them? What should I do here with -without- you? "I'm lost."

"Don't you know where to go, miss?"

"No." I never knew anything except to be with you. And now I only know you. Literally. Bad thing you don't remember me.

"What are you doing here alone, then? This is not a good neighborhood for a helpless young girl."

Always the gentleman. I should be pleased. I am not. Are you always this charming with strangers? Or just with blonde green-eyed ones? There was a time where you wouldn't speak to anyone you hadn't met, but then there was a time where I was the center of your existence, too. Those times are buried in the past now. I'm sorry. "It's ok. Don't worry."

"It's not ok, miss. You shouldn't be here alone."

No, I never should have come here. I never should have disturbed my own rest. But I wanted to; I needed to. Just to see you once again, just to feel your lips against mine. I decided to come back. Please don't make me regret my decision.

"What are you doing here, anyway?"

Looking for you. Waiting for you. Dreaming with you. And now that you are here I only want to stay with you. Would you let me even if you don't remember? "I need..." I need you to know who I am. I need you to share the memories of a time long gone. I need you to welcome me in your arms with a long sweet kiss and never let go. I need you to tell me this is only a bad joke. "I don't know."

It is not a joke, is it? It is reality. But I don't have to love it, do I?

"Come with me, miss."

Always the gentleman. Save the damsel in distress. Save her from yourself. I hated you then. But you are still a gentleman and I guess everybody loves you now. I should be happy for you. I'm not. I'm jealous. I want you for myself. So sue me.

Silence.

"Come with me, miss, I assure you I'm harmless."

"Maybe." But not for my heart, never for my heart.

"Don't you trust me?"

Forever, that's the whole point. A dream. A beach. A day so bright as the one today. Harsh words and tender kisses. Will you go away again?

"I just want to help you, miss."

And look where it got us to... You always wanted to help me. Help. Help. Your personal mantra. Your reason of being. The center of your universe. It always was more important than me. Your own Calling. Help. You helped them. You helped us. You helped me. You just wouldn't help yourself. Has that already changed, love? "Ok."

"I promise I won't do you any harm, miss"

Just as you promised to love me forever? Please tell me you'll keep your word on this one.

"Where do you want to go, miss?"

"Wherever you want." The words are out before I even think of them. But it is true. It's the only answer I can ever give you. Guide me. Let me follow your steps. Lead me through the bright light as you once led me through the consuming darkness. Just don't ever let me go. Loneliness is the scariest thing. I know it now. Please don't leave me alone again.

"Let me think of a good place..."

You look at me again. Your eyes are so different... where once was love and sadness now there only is faith and warm and... questions. Your brown eyes held questions in them. Will you be brave enough to ask them? I would answer you. I would need to because you don't know the answers anymore. You don't remember. You don't love me. You don't miss me. I've missed you. Does that count for something?

"Miss? I'm sorry. I... I don't know where to go"

Just as indecisive as always, I see. May I give you a little push?

"I trust you."

Trust. Five letters. One word. Once it was the base of our love, of our doubts, of our fears. Now it is only a little word. How could things change so much?

You smile. You have already decided.

"I just know of the best place... yeah, it'll do perfectly." Pause. Those brown eyes are meeting mine again. "Take my hand, miss."

I do. Your hand is warm. I take it and then it is you and me strolling down the park hand-in-hand under the bright sun. I never thought something so different could be so right. This is like a dream. But then you don't remember that this is different and this is a nightmare all over again. Remember, please; don't leave me alone with these memories.

"Are you ok, miss?"

I snap. "Don't call me 'miss', I'm tired of it. My name is Buffy. Buffy Summers."

You weren't waiting that reaction, were you? You let out a gasp. A real one. And that reminds me that I'm breathing the same air as you. Literally. It's nice.

"I'm sorry, mi-Buffy"

You voice catches a bit when saying it. It gives my name the same accent it gave it six centuries ago. Maybe... maybe your voice is remembering even if you are not. Maybe someday... "Don't worry. It's no problem. I just don't like formalities much."

Little smile.

There's a little cloud coming out of your lips. You are breathing. You are alive and I'm alive too. You are here and I'm here too. We could be finally happy. Fate is smiling at us. But maybe that's not enough.

"Would you like to go come with me for a coffee, Buffy?"

Or maybe it is.

"Of course."

Smiles.

"By the way, my name is Angel."

Go to the sequel Loving Again - Or Maybe for the First Time?

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