This is the sequel for 'The Woman Before Me'. I'd suggest reading it before you read this one.
THANK YOU so much to the ones who wrote all those nice words about TWBM. Some of you asked for this sequel, I just hope you will like it.
DISCLAIMER: Angelus is mine. If someone wants those leather pants, I'll gladly give them to you. I prefer him *sans* them, anyways... *g*
SUMMARY: I am in denial. This fic is, too. Some nights after TWBM,
RATING: I will go with a nice PG-13 here
AN: I wanted to write this from Willow's POV. My muse thought otherwise. Uhmm... again, the poem is mine (Hey! Don't run!). This time it's called "In Memory Of..."
FEEDBACK: *puppy eyes*

You are my bestest friend. Sweet, courageous girl. The one who opened her arms and her house after I came back to my senses last July. Did I ever than you for that? For forcing me to speak when no one wanted to even hear me? For letting me cry and swear against my destiny on your lap? For welcoming a girl who had been destined to die?

Did I ever thank you for being my bestest friend, Willow?

No, and as I stand her I regret that.

What would you do for me now?

// Tell me, dear friend,
Can you remember the days,
where we used to be just girls?

Can you remember the talks,
the chatting and the games?
Do you still see the dreams,
we used to dream over the phone? //

Would you still open your arms for this girl? For the one who accepted and kissed and drank sweet Death? For the one who sleeps with a demon and screams in the ecstasy of his arms?

Of course you would.

As always, you would open you doors for me and let me pass and hear me out.

Did I thank you for that, Will? For opening your doors and letting me pass and not screaming in shock?

I did come for you again, dear friend. You were my bestest friend, how could I ever let you live in the world we will dispose of? Could I let you see death and watch me imparting it? Could I let you bury your dear ones and cry for their loss? I could not, dear friend.

That is why I came to you last night. The reason why I stayed so quiet while my lover drank from your veins.

Can you forgive me for being so slow? For letting him put his wrist on your dying mouth? For letting you drink of his blood? Can you forgive me, dear friend?

Maybe you cannot. Maybe I never thanked you. I am planning to do it tonight.

// Tell me, dear friend,
do you watch all those films,
where we used to be just girls?

Do you watch me being happy,
you, so lovely and full of life?
Can you remember the dreams
between school and the lost date? //

While I am standing here, waiting for you to reappear before my eyes, I can remember the conversations we had. Just two more teenagers laughing and joking about life. I remember you and your smile, the look you would give me when life was too hard.

The same eyes I can see now.

There you are, as beautiful as ever, with those clothes which were your favourite and the earrings Xander gave you for your last birthday. Don't worry, you won't miss him for long.

"Is that you, Buffy?"

Your voice retains its sweet tone. Will it sound the same way when you call your prey to you?

"Forgive me." I'm not sure if you've heard me. The stake in my hand is now on your chest. One last shocked glance before dust settles on the ground. Why is always shock the last impression you have of me?

// Tell me, dear friend
can you forgive my dark world
for making us more than just girls?

Can you forgive this dark girl,
whom you took as your dear friend?
Can you forget this nightmare,
I had to give you in exchange? //

"Why did you do it, Buff?" Death is calling me now. I belong to the world. The world belongs to him. This is the only calling I could ever be true to.

"She had a crush on you. I didn't want her making herself any illusions."

His laugh is harsh and loud. It used to make me tremble. Now I only remember that I never heard Angel laugh.

"Don't laugh. I won't share you with anybody," I snap half angrily.

His hand grabs me roughly from the waist and in a second I am in his arms again, my body flushed to his. For some reason, though, the stake is just some inches in front of his chest. It would be so easy...

I cannot take my eyes from the wood in my hand. Just a little more force... a small impulse... I would be free.

I let him grab the stake from my trembling hands and I can feel the pointy end trailing across my cheek. I smell the blood before his tongue licks it away.

His kiss is slow and goes from under my eye until my left ear. He kisses the last drop of blood and murmurs softly, "Having naughty thoughts, Buff?"

I moan and before I can fully register it, the stake falls against your tombstone as we are falling on your ashes.

Falling and falling

Can you forgive me, Will?

"I love you, Angelus."

Do you want to know a little secret, bestest friend? You always shared my secrets... This will be the last one I tell you. Vampires don't lose their human souls. The demon just keeps it dormant. Angel's curse was not to give him a soul but to strengthen his. Tell me, Will, what is stronger than a Slayer?

I am still the Slayer. Angelus knows it as well as I do. We are enemies, and yet our passion would not be resolved with a stake.

Is there a greater sin than murmuring each other's name in the throes of passion?

Is there a greater sin than making you witness it?

Can you forgive me?

Ashes to ashes

Dust to dust.

Slayer to Darkness

Please forgive me, Will.

"ANGELUS!"

Is there a greater pleasure than awakening in his arms?

DEDICATION: To Jaime, for writing such nice fics and always hearing my rants. I still didn't drive you crazy? Wow, that's a first... As you wouldn't put the redheaded witch as a voyeur, I decided to go for it myself. Of course, my little muse could not do it the easy way and created this fic. *sigh* What am I to do with her?

Go to the next story Sister of Mine

Send feedback to Leni

Back to the Fanfiction Archive