DISCLAIMER: Are they still Joss'?
DISTRIBUTION: Tell me first.
SUMMARY: Oooooh... that's a difficult one... Oh well, here it goes: Buffy will try to convince Angel to marry her... But considering that this is an AU fic (NO vampires, NO Slayer!) I guess everything can happen...
PAIRINGS: B/A and slight reference to K/A... Eeeww...
RATING: This one goes with a nice PG-13. Believe me! It's a very nice one!
FEEDBACK: You write and then send it to me!
It's preferable if you don't like Kate if you are to read this fic. There's no serious bashing or anything but... Oh well! Just read it and find out what I mean!

You always knew people would talk. So what? People talk all the time. Nothing could stop them so you better stop worrying about it. Why should they matter? It is not as if they were your friends or your mother repeating over and over that you are crazy if you decide to continue this path.

Are you really crazy?

Maybe. But at least you are not alone. Not really. And it doesn't matter if said friends and family don't believe you because you know that he is somewhere in that building and that you'll be there with him in few minutes. Just some steps further, an elevator, another little walk and you'll see him waiting for you between cold sheets that won't be cold for a long time.

He is thinking lovingly of you right now, too, but you will never know that.

Love should have been an easy story in your life. Buffy Summers meets nice guy. They kiss and smile and everything is cliché and the dress is always white...

It should have been easy.

But luck was never yours and you are thankful that at least there had been a story between you two. A story that began the day you met him at the cafeteria of the university six years ago. He told you his name and you didn't giggle because you never like it when they laugh at yours. He told you he wanted to take some advanced courses and you encouraged him. He told you he was lost in the paperwork and this time you did laugh but offered your help anyway. Who would have thought that an executive would be lost in paperwork! Talk about irony!

Ever since then he has always been lost and you've always helped him.

But your dress has never been white.

Green isn't a bad choice for now...

If only people were staring because of your dress!

***

Just in front of a stories building stands a young woman. She is barely twenty-five, or at least so she seems. She has been looking at the building for some time and people are beginning to stare at her.

She doesn't seem to notice yet.

She looks down at herself. Her two-pieces suit is green. Dark green to go with her eyes. Her blonde hair could be the cause of the curious gazes she was receiving but everyone knew better than that. Her blonde hair and green suit were never the cause for such a welcome.

Nearly everyone here knows exactly who she is and what she does. Some of them know even more than there really is. They know that she will take the elevator, go to the highest floor and then fuck their boss senseless.

People are already beginning to talk...

***

Yes, you are her lover. And the redhead over there is his wife's best friend. So what? Let them talk all they want to. Soon enough you will be his rightful wife and they will have to shut up or look for another job. That or they won't see you anymore. You are not planning on coming back if his response is a negative.

And you know that something here is wrong. And you're sure that he knows it, too. But he cares about it even less than you do. He always says 'Let people talk.' and so far you've heeded him. You accepted that something here was wrong the first time you stepped into this building in his arms and he forbade you of letting the rumours come between you. Now you finally have the courage to forbid him of letting his wife get there.

If only you could maintain that courage until you're by his side!

So you hold you head high and don't even spare a look to the secretary that is gawking at you from afar. One word from your lips and said secretary would be out of here. You can't help but smile at the thought.

The bellboy at the elevator just grins and whistles softly but he doesn't say anything. Maybe he is the only one here that likes you a bit, but then he is the only one here that ever talks to you.

"Where to, Miss Summers?" he says as always. Today you are too worried about you next actions and their possible consequences in your life to think of answering what he already knows. He notices your grim and absent mind-set and doesn't say anything. You have never been so grateful to a stranger. Seconds pass and finally the elevator stops.

"20th floor, miss." He states. You smile at him fleetingly and step out.

Time for the truth, Summers. You better take a deep breath and prepare yourself for the worse.

Or maybe he will say 'yes'?

***

She walks the well-known corridors. Down the hall to her left. Greets Marcel, Angel's new bodyguard. Smiles sweetly and doesn't stop to see his knowing look. Then right and left again.

She is already there.

Takes out her key and enters. Goes to the bathroom and changes. Sexy underwear? Check. Condoms in her purse? Check. Favourite cologne? Check. Courage to give an ultimatum...? She crosses herself quickly. Check...

Time for the truth.

***

His wife or you. That's all there is to it.

Really simple when you first thought of it. Simple and fair.

You remember being sure that he would choose you. When did so many doubts come into play? Why would he prefer the woman he hadn't loved for years? The same one who adores him even knowing of another certain blonde woman - namely *you*? The same one whom he shared vows and dreams and beds with? Yeah, you are doubting him now... and you can only hope that he will see that you also love and adore him and that you have also shared all your dreams and hopes with him. And you wish that he will take you because you know you won't have the heart to carry out your threat...

And what would become of you without your heart?

You finger your ring nervously now. He gave it to you a year ago. He mentioned 'Friendship' and 'Loyalty' and 'Love' and you thought you were going to faint. But you didn't. You fainted that day in the library when you were researching some Irish customs and suddenly learned that you were already married. Married! And you realised then that it couldn't be an error because Angelus O'Connor never got anything wrong.

Even less when it involved ancient Irish customs and Buffy Summers, the woman he had said he loved.

It was then and there that you decided that you wanted a little more. He said you had his heart, and you knew you had his wallet if you really wanted it. So the last thing you want is just one day. A day where you can wear white and he, a tuxedo, and be husband and wife just as you have dreamed it for four years.

***

She doesn't look into the mirror. She just doesn't need to. Another deep breath and she is out again.

The first time she was here she was surprised at the signs of wealth. Everything elegant and fairly expensive. For her inexperienced eyes this apartment had been a piece of heaven. She had been a virgin, too. Many things change over the years, she muses now.

***

At first he hadn't believed that you were a virgin. Well, you can understand that, who would believe that twenty-year-old girl is still a virgin? And worse yet, who would believe that a virgin would come to a man's penthouse even knowing that he is married?

But you were. And you did. And you did it because you were deeply in love. You had been in love with the brooding and dark man even before he told you that he was desperate because he couldn't break off his wedding. You had been sorry for him and especially for the baby his wife carried but you couldn't help but wish the baby were only yours.

But that was weeks before Kate had an incident and nearly lost her life because of the miscarriage. Months before he finally invited you to his apartment and you said yes.

You knew he was only looking for shelter when he took you. And you also knew that he wouldn't leave his wife alone. And knowing all that you didn't hesitate to offer him your love and your body. You embraced him and kissed him and looked after him as if he were just a little boy.

He never promised anything. And of course you never asked. But now you have decided that enough is enough. Four years of hearing the people and your family and your friends talk is enough, too.

His wife or you. That's all there is to it.

***

She doesn't waste time checking the new accessories of the pent-house. She already knows that they will be expensive and unique. Turns right here and doesn't bother to knock.

A step more and she is in front of her lover again.

He isn't smiling at her this time.

She screams.

The sound of a revolver being fired resonates through the whole building.

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When Marcel, the new bodyguard, managed to get into the master's bedroom it was only to be greeted with the worst sight he could have imagined.

A girl dressed only in her underwear was lying at the door in the middle of a scarlet pool. It was the same girl he had seen barely some minutes ago. He checked her pulse just on impulse and wasn't surprised when his fingers couldn't find one. A clean shot through her chest was apparently the cause. Her eyes held a surprised and unseeing gaze. He closed her eyes and stood up looking for the murderer. He had to be still in the penthouse.

He didn't need to look for anything.

Mr O' Connor, his boss, was lying peacefully on his bed. Well, as peaceful as a corpse could be. A revolved rested inches next to his right hand. The next thing Marcel noticed was... that the body was being cradled in the arms of a blonde woman.

"Mrs. O'Connor?" He asked hoarsely, even if he already knew the answer.

The woman didn't seem to notice his presence, or the accusing presence of the two corpses in the room. She appeared too busy rocking back and forth with her husband's body still in her arms.

"I was his wife." she murmured. The guardian was about to say something when she began to speak louder. "I was his wife. His wife" She chanted over and over.

After some moments she calmed and began to speak softly under her breath. The bodyguard had to strain his hearing to understand the words. "I was his wife. She was nothing. She could have never filled my place. I was his only love. His only chance... He was mine. Mine."

The guardian shook his head and finally pressed the button that would call the police.

Kate O'Connor continued mindlessly of his actions. "I couldn't let her. I just couldn't." She shook her head vehemently. Tears began to form at her eyes. "He didn't understand it. He wanted to leave me to be with her..." Her voice now held a childish tone. " Eight years of marriage and he wanted to end it because of that skinny bitch..." She turned to the man in the room. For the first time she actually acknowledged him. "I couldn't let him. Angel was only mine. He won't leave me now, will he?" She asked with supplicant eyes.

Marcel just whispered a soft "No." The only thing left for him to do was to wait for the police.

In the background the woman sobbed bitterly.

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She sees him lying on his - *their* - bed and screams when she notices that the cold sheets are now red. Red with his own blood.

A shot is heard.

She doesn't find it in her to move and dodge it.

***

And the last thing you see are the vacant eyes of the same woman you wanted him to leave. And in that moment you know that all is lost and you last thought is: "Doesn't she know that we will be together now?"

***

She screams and falls.

***

But you never answer your own question because then there is only darkness surrounding you. And when you finally see a light you know well who is waiting for you at the other side.

And the only thing you regret is not having made small talk with the nice boy in the elevator...

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