Disclaimer: I don't even want to own them now. (You know what I mean)
Summary: Buffy writes a letter to Angel to apologize.
Spoilers: uhum Sanctuary and the Yoko Factor after that it's different.
Distribution: What, take, have, you lemme know where it's going.
Dedication: To Alex, who beta'ed this fic for me and who came up with the name of this fic..Thanks sooo much! :)
Feedback: Puhlease.feed me! I'm starving.
Author's Notes: I'm Dutch, so English isn't my main language.

Dear Angel,

Wow I can't believe I'm actually writing you! But something in me said I had to.

First of all I still need to say sorry about all the horrible things I said in LA and then you came to apologize to me... Why did you do that? If there was anyone who needed to apologize it was me.

It's just.. After you left I was an empty shell. For weeks I sat in my room moping about us. But as summer ended and my Freshman year at College began, I made a promise to myself to do what you wanted me to have: a normal life. Oh and I worked hard on that, in fact I "jumped the bones" of the first guy who showed interest in me. And when I figured out that he only used me as a one night stand, I was only hurt for a bit and I didn't really care. After Parker came Riley. He loved me and he was my normal life you wanted me to have. I was so engrossed into getting my normal life that I slowly drove away from my friends and changed into a new me. A bitch me. You will probably think that I shouldn't talk like that about myself, but it's the truth. The new me was a bitch and a slut. I acted bitchy towards you in LA. I hurt you on purpose with my "so called normal life" and I rubbed my relationship with Riley into your face. Only because you helped Faith! Now the old Buffy would have understood the situation better. But not the new Buffy. No, the new Buffy said she found someone new and that she loved him!

Let me tell you this: I don't love Riley. Not now and not then. I only love you. He knows it too. That's why he broke up with me. I'm glad he did, because that made me finally come to my senses and I realized how much I've changed. I didn't like it for one bit. That's why I'm writing you now. I'm kinda making Amends towards you. I already did that for my friends. Last week I spent a lot of time with Will, Xander, Anya and Giles. I also visited my mother, I hadn't visited her since after the Faith fiasco. See how terrible I was??

I hope you can forgive me.

Truly Yours,
Buffy

Send feedback to Leonie

Back to the Fanfiction Archive