Timeline: Buffy S4/ Angel S1... Takes place during IWRY
Spoilers: Sing it with me: "I Will Remember You..."
Synopsis: When the Oracles turn back the day, something goes wrong.
Disclaimer: While this is angsty, I am in no way a man named Joss who creates wonderful characters whom he destroys in an attempt to support his acid habit. Really, the characters are all his, even if he abuses them horribly.
Rating: PG
Distribution: The Land of Denial is welcome to this fic. Anyone else: Please ask. It's good for the ego.
Feedback: Yes please!
Dedication: Everyone who offered feedback for my last fic. You all know who you are, and your support has certainly encouraged me to keep sharing! Also, to Physics Class, where daydreams come fast and furious!
Author's Notes: This takes place during IWRY. It's another rewrite of the ending, because I always had qualms with the way they ended it. This is horribly vague I know, and there are hundreds of touch ups out there, but just read it, already! If I say anymore, the whole premise will be ruined!

Buffy stared at Angel, absolutely shell-shocked. She felt as though the bottom of her finally stable world was dropping out beneath her, and once again there was nothing she could do to stop it. Whenever life had lulled her into a false sense of security, that was when it ambushed her from the bushes and stabbed her in the back. But now that she had actually found the blessed normality she had always craved, with Angel no less, how could her dreams be ripped from her once more?

Logically, she understood why Angel had acted as he had, but her heart refused to be consoled. In matters of the heart, the mind was not a powerful ally. It ached and burned for a love it had once more been denied. Part of her demanded that she be angry at Angel for acting as he always did. This was not the first time that he had made an important decision, a life-changing decision that affected both of them, without her. A tumultuous rage was storming inside her, abated only by the breaking of her heart. The part of her not governed by emotion knew that he was right; they couldn't forge a life together if it meant the sacrifice of others. She knew it was wrong, but still her heart pleaded that just this once she be selfish. As the Slayer she gave up so much, as a woman all she wanted was this one true love.

Through the hazing agony, she dimly registered his words, mournful as a dirge: "The Oracles are giving us back the day. Turning back time so I can kill Mohra before his blood makes me mortal."

Tearfully Buffy mustered her courage and pierced Angel's beating heart with the sorrow reflected in her huge eyes, pools of miserable acceptance. She looked like a meek doe, caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck, unable to remove herself from a potentially deadly situation, numbed by fear. Tearing her eyes from his own, she turned in his arms, clinging to him as a lifeline, her unfaltering gaze directed at the clock mounted on his wall. "When?" was all she could choke out, a note of desperation seeping into the simple word .

Angel glanced quickly at the clock's face before meeting her questioning stare, trying to mask the torment in his liquid chocolate eyes. He took a deep breath to steady his tattered nerves, before he whispered, "Another minute."

In an act believed impossible, Buffy's eyes widened even more, panic causing her heart to hammer painfully in her chest as though attempting to jump from the shackles of her body onto the slick wooden floor, facilitating its demise at Life's heel. Her body was no protection to destiny's cruel onslaught, an attack bent on pulverizing the muscle into a quivering pulp. She gripped him closer to her, frantically, as though she could frighten the truth into being more favourable, "A minute? It's not enough time."

"We don't have a choice," he countered with a voice raw with emotion. He was pleading her to find some kind of solace in his words, in his tone, silently begging her to share the burden of her pain, of which he was once more the cause. "It's done."

Her resolve wavered at the finality of his words. She tried to absorb what he had said and make her mind understand what her heart could not. She was drowning in a swell of despair, struggling to break the surface and cling to the faint remnants of hope. All her life, she had wanted exactly one person, and he had always been denied to her. Standing so near to him, unable to separate herself from him knowing that this could very well be their last moment together, was unbearable She wasn't ready to give it all up. She never would be. As the tears began to fall, the words rushed forth like a dam bursting, "How am I supposed to go on with my life knowing what we had, what we could've."

Angel's eyes bore into her, his expression growing darker still, "You won't. No one will know but me."

"But."

"It never happened," Angel murmured, in a vain attempt to silence her attempts to dissuade him. He felt as though he were being ripped apart, and his heart would only cease beating once more when it had been eviscerated from his chest. Even if he wanted to, this was out of his hands now. There was nothing he could do.

Buffy clung to him like a lost child, her fingers biting into his arms. How could he stand there so composed and tell her that everything they had shared hadn't happened? Memories of this day would keep her warm, and maintain the fires of hope burning, long after it had faded from existence. Frenzied, she cried, "It did! I know it did!"

Clumsy with need, she threw her arms about him in an embrace to halt time. Her eyes were wet, as she placed a tentative hand against his warm chest, unable to meet his anguished gaze. The rhythmic pulse felt so perfect against her trembling palm. Choking on a sob, she mused, "I felt your heart beat."

Her words evoked tears which threatened to spill from his muddled eyes. He whispered her name, begging her to stop, as her eyes meet his own, silently asking how he could deny her this last real emotion. She was trying so hard not to fall the ground screaming, trying to remain brave for him. Tears would win her nothing, and when this was through, this was not how she wanted him to remember her. Both moved at the same instant, their lips seeking the solace that soon only one of them would be able to recall. Their kisses stung with desperation and longing, their souls fighting to conjoin. Breaking apart, the two gasped for air, unwilling to provide a distance greater than a few inches between themselves.

"Oh god," Buffy moaned, her voice cracking with anxiety, struggling to breathe "There's not enough time."

"Shhh," Angel pleaded, "please, please." He never wanted to let this woman he gripped in his arms go. The curve of her waist seemed molded perfectly for his firm hands, as he drew her even closer, shielding her face from the relentless ticking of the clock's second hand. He couldn't stand knowing he had caused this pain. Time too short, seemed insufferably slow, and a miniscule portion of himself willed this day to end right then, so as to end his beloved's suffering. They were supposed to have spent a lifetime together; instead, ten seconds were all that remained.

Through their kisses and tears, he heard her breathless mantra: "I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget." Unable to withstand the torment, he clenched his eyes shut, knowing what was coming, but incapable to face it. Buffy was his strength, his motivation, his light. It was too much, knowing that what they had was being torn from him, from her, and he was the reason why.

Holding her near, he loved her with his entire being, neither lover aware of the bright flash of light that eclipsed them.

* * * *

The two faced one another in Angel's office, exactly as they had 24 hours prior to their day that never was. Time had been erased in an effort to save humanity, which seemed like a trifling matter to the member of the party who remembered what had actually transpired.

"Keep our distance until..." Buffy faltered, as her face paled. What was going on here? This was what had transpired a day ago, which wasn't what was really wigging her out, so much as the fact that she realized that this was the past. Her memories were supposed to have been robbed from her, so that she could move on with her normal life. Now she was in his office reliving the pain of breaking his dormant heart and all communication with one another.

She stared at Angel, trying to ascertain whether he had picked up on the fact that she had not forgotten the day. He looked puzzled, but certainly not noticeably different from the first time this had happened. His eyes were relatively calm, albeit guilty, but they reflected none of the pain that he should have felt. Was he really that good of an actor, or did he just not care? How could he stand there instead of dashing to her side and taking her in his arms, allowing the passion that smoldered between them to consume them both whole? Gripping the door frame, Buffy narrowed her eyes, her inherent stubbornness kicking in. Fine. If that's how Angel wanted to play this, then she would give him a run for his money. She'd show him who the better actor, or actress, really was!

She cocked her chin in defiance, and continued her speech, grateful that she had rehearsed it in the car on the way over to his office, and recited it to him once before, "a whole lot of time has gone by. Given enough time, we should be able to."

".forget," he supplied, just as she had expected him to. Only this time, Buffy felt the word cut the quick of her soul, allowing icy bitterness to steal through her tense form. Forget. She bit back a hollow laugh, as she mused at the fact that if everything had gone according to plan, she would have done, and would do just that. But then, when did her life ever follow a discernible set of rules? In the end she suffered, she'd practically been chosen to do just that, and that was really all that mattered. She would never forget, what they had shared, and while she faintly remembered thinking that she would not part with those memories for anything, she now understood the burden that they now proffered. She needed time to think, to remember, to fall into a dreamless sleep produced from hours of crying into her pillow. She had to get out of there.

"Yeah. Well, I guess I'll go start forgetting." As she turned to leave, the splintering of glass impeded her progress and drowned out her muttered curse. Throwing her arms in the air in exasperation, she turned to find Angel staring dumbfounded at the Mohra demon brandishing its sword, glinting in the sunlight. The shock wearing off, Angel sprang into action, countering the Mohra's attempts with hard blows and jabs. Buffy could read from the avid concentration marked on his face, that Angel was more concerned with defending himself than he was with defeating his able foe.

"Angel," Buffy cried, "you're supposed to kill him, not pummel him into a retreat!"

"I could use a little help," Angel grunted in response, as his jaw cracked as the Mohra's fist found it's mark. Lashing back with a fierce snap-kick, Angel seized the sword from his opponent's grip, steadying himself to run the demon clear through with the deadly blade.

Leaving herself no time to think, instinct told her what to do. Buffy swept Angel aside, jumping into the fray. Snatching the compact clock that rested on Angel's desk, she whirled about bringing the timepiece into contact with the shimmering jewel embedded in the demon's forehead. Screaming in pain, the demon stumbled backwards before exploding into a brilliant burst of light.

Only slightly flushed from the exertion, she turned to find Angel staring at from the floor in awe. "That was unreal. How did you know how to kill it?" he breathed, clearly taken aback by her performance.

"Angel, that was a Mohra demon," she said pointedly, no longer amused with his charade. It had looked like Angel was about to re-enact the day exactly as he had the first time round, completely willing to ignore the enormity of their sacrifice and make the same wonderful mistakes once more. This thought bothered her deeply, not only because made her wonder why erase the day in the first place, but also because she had prevented it. She noticed the confusion clouding his eyes. Clearly her explanation was lacking. Understanding of the bizarre situation she had found herself in slowly began to filter into her realm of comprehension. She remembered, but he didn't. He didn't.

"I've, uh. I've had a lot of time to catch up on my reading," she supplied lamely, mentally scolding herself for giving such a weak excuse.

Spurning his gaze, she glanced guiltily down at the clock she still gripped in her tiny hands. The face was cracked, the time forever frozen at 9:02. frozen too late. She doubted her decision to leave, but the awkward silence forced her to say something and end this, "So. Okay. I guess we covered it, right?"

"I guess we did."

"And - that's really all there is to say." She heard the words before she realized she had said them. Silently she prayed for him to disagree with her, even knowing that without memories he would still reject her, the fact that at least this time she would be the one to walk away a minimal comfort.

"Yeah. That's it."

Taking in his words, she nodded to signal that she had heard him. Turning, she walked briskly from the office, afraid that she would not be able to make this arduous trek if she remained near him any longer. With each step, her sobs augmented, but by the time they were loud enough to be noticed, Angel's office was nothing but another memory to add to the many she had already garnered.

Through her misery the memories lay, pearls of happiness veiled by the pain of the occasion. Her heart grieved for what it could not have, but she felt no real ill-will towards Angel. He had been strong when she would not have been selfless enough to do so. She had been granted these memories, perhaps as sign to never give up the fight. As long she remembered their day together, she could never move on with her life, but knowing the perfection the two of them could share, why would she?

As her own words haunted her, Buffy finally understood that while time could never make her forget what the Powers themselves could not, it would allow her to find solace in a day that never was, and a love that always would be.

O.K. So I know I didn't give it a fluffy ending, but the angst is important to the episode. Just thought I needed to deal with what would happen if Buffy remembered the day and Angel didn't. It was important to me that she wasn't angry and bitca-y about it, so much as understanding that now's just not their time, but that doesn't mean they can't love one another. Hopefully if you're reading this end note, you enjoyed the fic and have lot's to say, so please:

* Any resemblance to the actual dialogue in IWRY is purely coincidental... ;) It is a rewrite after all!

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