Disclaimer: Not mine.
Rating: G
Authors Notes: Thanks, as always to Heather for
betaing and telling me that it was ok even though I
bug you etc. etc. Again, thanks to April and
Sara-Lee, feedback feeds my ego :) 'nother note to
April, where or where is the next part to your story
< G > I am working on a second trilogy to go with this
one, sort of a sequal trilogy, I'm wierd I know.
"Angel?"
Angel slowly turned around to reveal the love of his, previously undead, life. There she was standing in the doorway, looking at him with a small smile playing on her lips.
"Wha-, Why," he paused, took a breath to organize his thoughts before continuing, "Hi."
Buffy laughed slightly at his inability to speak, "Hi."
"Not that I mind at all, but why are you here?" Angel asked, getting straight to the point, he didn't think his newly reborn heart could stand pleasantries.
Buffy didn't answer him, but rather walked the short distance between them, stopping, then placing a hand over his heart to feel the faint thump thump of his heart beat, her eyes filling with tears.
She cocked her head up at him, to look in his beautiful eyes, which were also brimming over with tears, "Why didn't you tell me?"
Angel placed his hand over hers before answering, "I don't know."
They became silent for a minute before he timidly questioned, "You're not mad?"
"No."
"Not even a little."
Buffy was amused at the fact that he worried whether she was mad.
"No, not even close. I am more amazed than anything."
"Well that makes two of us."
They both laughed slightly.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked again.
"I'm not sure. I was scared. Afraid that the Powers That Be would take it away---"
"Angel, why would they do that? You deserve it. You have paid your dues, redeemed yourself. Can't you just be happy?" Buffy asked, exasperated that he still thought he wasn't worthy of, well, anything. That he didn't want this precious gift that had been given to him.to them.
"I have felt so unworthy for so long that I can't just accept it," he told her.
Buffy could see the honesty in his eyes. She knew that it was hard for him to just let go of his past, all two hundred plus years of it. She knew that he still didn't feel like he had paid the world back for all that he took from it. Yes, she decided, she knew all of this even after not seeing him for five years and she was certain that he knew almost exactly what she was thinking.
Buffy looked down at their joined hands, still resting on his chest. Finally she looked up at him through her eyelashes, "I could help."
Angel tried to turn away, but she held a firm grip on his hand, forcing him to look at her, "Buffy---, I-"
"You what? Figure since you're human that you still can't have anything? That we can't be together? Angel, we couldn't be together before because of the curse. What is the problem now? What would it take for you to realize that we are meant to be together.I think it is written somewhere," joked.
She received a small smile for her efforts, but not much else. This time when he tried to turn away, she allowed him, but frowned at the loss of contact nonetheless.
Buffy sighed and went to sit on the couch located in the center of the room.
Facing the window, Angel began to speak, "It's just so hard, you know? 100something years of feeling sorry for my self and not feeling worthy is a hard habit to break. I can't just turn it off, and say 'hey it's ok.' I have redeemed myself for all the people I killed, for all the people I tortured. What I did to you alone was enough to make me live in hell for several hundred years."
They both grimaced at the memories of those years.
"And you have. You 'served your time' so to speak. You aren't supposed to be able to turn it off. It's not like a light switch. We of all people should realize that feelings do not just come and go as we please, although life would be much easier that way. Besides, that isn't what I'm asking. I'm asking that you let me help you become human. You've been a vampire for so long I doubt you know how to just be human. Angel, I want to go out into the sun with you. I want to see you experience that for the first time. It's been, what, a week, week and a half that you've been human?" She questioned his back, as he still was looking out the window and not at her.
"A week today."
"That was five years ago from the day we made love," she whispered to herself, all the while he was thinking it.
They both realized that was more than a little symbolic.
"I bet you haven't even seen the sun yet. You've been in this room brooding since then haven't you?"
He finally turned around to look at her. He couldn't help but be amazed at how demanding she was being. He thought for sure she would be mad, that she wouldn't want to have anything to do with him. But here she was, demanding that he let her help him become human. He honestly couldn't see why she wanted to help him, or even more importantly why he was telling her no. Ok, so he hadn't said no in so many words, but she knew him well enough to see what he was doing. And she wouldn't let him get away with it. In that moment, he fell in love with her all over again.
"No," suddenly a thought dawned on him, "how did you know?"
Buffy averted her gaze, "I don't know. I just did. I had a dream when it happened. It was like I could see what was going on, like I was here."
"So why didn't you come earlier?" He inquired with a smile.
"I was scared," she responded as he did.
"Ok, so we were both scared, what do we do now?" Angel asked, more to himself than anything.
"We live, Angel. Let me help you learn to be human. Let me be with you. I miss you. I always have. I miss your company," Buffy stopped and contemplated whether she should tell him the next part. This was, after all, the first time they had seen each other in five years, she wasn't sure that he even felt the same way anymore. Finally Buffy decided to just go for it, what did she have to lose.
"I miss your love."
In two strides Angel was across the room and on the couch sitting next to Buffy.
He quickly gathered her up in his arms, holding her to his chest, "I missed you too, I love you."
They both had tears falling as Buffy responded, "I love you, Always."
She lay her head on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart, within seconds their hearts began to beat as one. Buffy and Angel sat that way for what seemed like eternity, but in reality was only several minutes.
Suddenly a light began to creep across the floor, Buffy, noticing it first, jumped up and grabbed Angel's hand, pulling him to the door.
"Buffy, where are we going?"
"We are going to start your life."
The two made it to the roof in under a minute. Together they watched the sun rise. And as the sun was dawning on a new day, it was dawning on a new life.
The only noise being made was that of the people leaving to go to work early in the morning, the hustle and bustle of daily life for everyone, but the couple on the roof. Life would never be the same for them.
"You are more beautiful in the sunlight," Angel whispered into Buffy's ear.
Buffy stood, wrapped in Angel's arms, leaning into his chest thinking of the days to come, she knew they would be well worth what it took for them to get there. She turned to look into the eyes of her beloved and knew that he felt the same.
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