Disclaimer: No. Not Mine. Don't sue; all I have is a bunch of CD's.
Rating: G
Distribution: Want it? Got it.
Authors Notes: 2nd in my Simply Human Trilogy. This is the companion piece to "Light Me." Thanks, as always to Heather for Betaing. If for some reason you want to read the Buffy view of this email me and I will send it to you, or just go to the BA Fluff site. Thanks to April, although she probably doesn't know, she helped me get back into writing this story, which I had abandoned because I was having trouble with it. But the third, and final, part of this trilogy will be coming eventually.
Feedback: Lisagaill@yahoo.com

I dreamt of you tonight. But then again I always do. But this particular dream has plagued me for several nights now. I can no longer sleep without dreaming. You come to me in my dreams, or I go to you, it doesn't matter, we are together. That's what I long for more than anything in this world.

I can't sleep anymore. Not without you.

I know you think I blame you for sending me to hell, for breaking the curse.. But I don't blame you at all. I don't regret any of it. I regret that you feel responsible for what happened. It wasn't your fault. There wasn't anything you could have done to prevent any of it. I would do it all over again if I had the chance, because I know that eventually we will be allowed to together. I just hope its before you stop loving me completely.

You think I don't love you anymore, that couldn't be farther from the truth. I could never stop loving you. I meant it when I told you that in 250 years I have loved exactly one person. That hasn't changed in the last five years. You are the only one I could ever love. It amazed me everyday that you loved me back. I understand why you don't love me anymore. I understand why you trusted Riley and not me. I will always love you, and on that terrible day when you leave this earth, as will I.

I am writing to you because I do not have to strength to come tell you in person, yet. But then again I've never been strong, I wasn't out on that cliff and I am not now. Only the thought of you keeps me strong.

Buffy, I'm human.

Yeah, I was shocked too. I'm not sure why it happened, or even how. All I know is that one-day I woke up and I had a heartbeat. It was very strange. I questioned it continuously, I even went to the New Oracles, but they were vague as always, saying, "What was done was meant to be done." Didn't help at all.

In fact, I kept getting Cordelia to pinch me to make sure I wasn't dreaming, after the fourth or fifth bruise I thought maybe I wasn't dreaming after all.

That was a little over a week ago. I am still astonished. The first thing I wanted to do was run to you. But I stopped myself. I didn't think you would want to see me. I didn't think you would take me back. I was afraid that you would close the door in my face, or even worse, tell me that you don't love me anymore. I wouldn't be able to handle that.

The more days that go by the more I rethink my position on telling you, running to you, begging for forgiveness. But I am still just not strong enough. I am scared. Scared that you will hate me, for everything I have done to you. For everything thing I took from you. I couldn't stand it if you hated me. So I just go on living in ignorance.

As much as I hate to admit it, I think the time apart was good for us. It allowed us, or me at least, to realize just how much I love you. That, yes, I can live a fully functional life without you, but I don't want to. For me a life without you, can't ever truly be full.

I miss you more and more every day. I used to sit in my office and think about what you were doing at that exact moment. Were you thinking of me? Or were you trying to forget me, and everything we had. Cordy calls it brooding I call it reflecting.

I remember the first night we met. You seemed so confident for such a little thing. I was enamored from the start. Perhaps even before that, when I saw you on the day that you were called. I wanted so bad to help you, to protect you. I didn't want you to know about the evil in the world. I certainly would have never anticipated you falling in love with me, the very evil in the world that you were to destroy. Sometimes I think it would have been better for everyone if you had killed me that night in the Bronze. But then I would have missed out on the greatest love in my life, and I am thankful that you were so accepting. Your capacity for love amazed me everyday.

He heard the door open, "Angel?" The pen fell to the floor.

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