Disclaimer: Song is 'Mirror Song' by LIVE, all BtVS and A:tS belong to Joss &co.
Timeline: After the B/A off screen visit in S6
Spoilers: Uh, S6 in general I think.
Synopsis: Buffy thinks at the Bronze.
Distribution: LoD, anyone else let me know.
Feedback: Please!!!
Rating: G-ish

Buffy sat in the Bronze, her usual table and a drink sitting in front of her. The band wasn't extremely hard core, kind of hard to dance to, so she watched and listened. She felt Spike nearby, but didn't give him the pleasure of her knowing. As the band played she realized that the lyrics were hitting home...

I know that I should think about giving
and think about
helping out
and think about
think about living
but I can't seem to rescue myself

After Buffy had come back from the dead, things had been different, she knew that. She knew how she acted just wasn't her, not really her. Her friends had acted sort of *stiff* around her. Spike seemed like the only one who understood, but even he treated her different, with a sort of reverence, Buffy didn't know what to really call it.

what about my bank account
and my holy desert shield
that keep me dry under that arms?
flags and mental jewelry's all I know
and they keep me happy and warm inside

Buffy wanted to just scream! They all expected her to be everything to them, especially Dawn. Hell, even Angel wanted from her. When he had came, she didn't have the heart to tell him she had been in heaven. After what he had told her, she felt like telling him would be like rubbing it in his face. "Oh hi Angel, guess what, I went to heaven while you got to wallow in your misery. Thanks for stopping by though!" Yeah, that would go over big. So she just listened to him, and told him what she had told every one else.

so I said unto this man
"who are you and where do you come from?"
and he proceeded to tell me many things

Yeah, that would go over big. So she just listened to him, and told him what she had told every one else. But, Buffy had a feeling that he knew! She didn't know where it came from, perhaps the look he gave her when she told her story. His eyes had screamed out to her: No!. Like he was telling her to stop this lie.

but I said nothing at all

But, she had done nothing, just told her story. Poured it out, shed a few tears, just like she had with everyone else. She had thought, that just maybe, he'd say outright that what she said was a lie. Or even objected that she went to hell. Just...Something!

for the flower in the corner, by the room,
in the window, and the sun
said it all

But, he hadn't said a word, just held her like she had told him the truth. God how she wished she had. She missed him dearly. And her mother. Mommy, why can't you be here now?

at least they said they would
said they could
mama said they would
do me good

Send feedback to LiveFan

Back to the Fanfiction Archive