DISCLAIMER: Regretfully I don't own any of these characters.
SPOILERS: This is after the first 2 episodes of Season 6 BtVS, and before the last episode of season 2 Angel. Angel doesn't know about Buffy's death, apparently Willow didn't come and tell him about it after returning from Pylea. This also means no Connor or Buffy/Spike fling.
DISTRIBUTION: If you want it take it.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is my first story so bear with me. Also, I wasn't sure of the timeline between Joyce's death and then Buffy's, so I guess 4 months. Sorry if you know it's really something different.
FEEDBACK: Please!
RATING: PG

In Angel Investigations…

"Good morning Mr. Sunshine!" Said cheerfully by Cordelia to her darkly dressed friend.

"Hi. Any mail?" He asked, ignoring the teasing reference to him being a vampire.

"Yeah mostly junk though," she replied. "Two bills, one job offer, three ads, and a letter for you. I'm not sure who it's from though."

With that she handed him the letter and much to her displeasure, watched him walk out of the room. No doubt to read his mystery letter in private. She really wanted to know who it was from.

When he had successfully found an empty room to open his letter, he did indeed notice a blank space where the return address should have been. "That's odd," he thought. "Figures Cordy noticed that first." Once he had opened the envelope, he found a blank card with a message written in it. He recognized the neat handwriting immediately and slowly read the letter.

Dearest Angel,

I need to talk to you. Although it's not life threatening, I just need someone to talk to. I'll be arriving in L.A. in a few days.

Always, Me

He wondered what she had to talk to him about, whatever it was must be important enough for her to send a note before instead of just showing up or even calling. It had been four months since he had seen her last. He remembered it well, it was soon after Joyce's death that he had gone to Sunnydale to comfort the ailing Buffy. He vividly remembered kissing her and feeling that spark which only appears with the love of your life. He had left soon after that.

He still remembered feeling the same spark when he touched her then, as when he first touched her. It was like a surge of energy running throughout his body. That very first time, he had felt whole and strangely at peace. It was as if all of the pained voices in his head had just shut up. He always felt like that in the presence of his beloved. Being near her was too hard. There was always the guilt for leaving her but also, there was the urge to sweep her off her feet in a passionate embrace. He just wanted to touch her and feel the love that radiated off her. But, he couldn't do it.

Although still confused by the letter, he walked back into the lobby. There, Cordelia sat reading Cosmo, pretending not to notice him and the opened letter.

"So?" She asked fishing for details.

"Oh, it's nothing," he lied so he wouldn't have to hear another "Buffy bad" lecture.

"Oh God," she thought silently. "That letter's probably from one of the Scoobies or the slayer herself. Just peachy" She had spent enough time with Angel to know if something was up and whom it was about. When he walked out of the library she saw the look reserved for only those in or from Sunnyhell. It wasn't a smile, or a glare. It was more like a sad frown. "It must be from the slayer," she concluded in her mind.

"Oh well okay. Can you help me find this nest of vampires? Supposedly it's downtown." She said returning to a normal conversation. Lately she'd been trying to come up with ways to be around him. Often she would ask for his help or just start up a conversation with him. Anything for the closeness. It wasn't like she was head over heels in love with him, she just enjoyed his company. Deep down she knew he felt the same but couldn't ever look at her the same as Buffy. She even accepted that.

Two days later…

Angel was anxious for Buffy's arrival. He didn't exactly know how she was getting to L.A. but he still wanted to meet her when she did get there. Even the group noticed his attitude change.

"Angel is there something you're not telling us?" Wesley asked.

"Yeah man you're like tense." Gunn added in the predictable Gunn sense.

"It's nothing, I have an old friend coming to L.A." Angel stated trying to end the conversations without any more prying questions.

"Wait a second. You hung out with two groups before us, the vampires and the Scoobies. Which group is this friend from?" asked Cordelia. Secretly she hoped neither but still wanted to know. She never connected this old friend to the letter, which arrived only two days prior.

"It's none of your business Cord. When my friend gets here, I'll make sure you guys meet." He chose his words carefully so as not to let on the sex of his incoming friend. He knew they would freak out if he shared the identity of her with them. It wasn't a good thing to tell your closest friends that the love of your life who also brings you the most self-inflicted pain was coming for a visit.

At that very moment…

A train pulled into the Los Angeles terminal, arriving from Sunnydale. The beautiful blonde stepped off the train and made her way to a pay phone. As she moved with grace, all of the males within a close proximity all turned their heads towards her in awe. She had promised to call her sister Dawn, when she had gotten in. Even though Glory was gone, things were still after Dawn so she needed to check in. After that was taken care of she had hired a taxi to take her to the address of Angel Investigations.

When the taxi finally pulled up to the old hotel building she got out cautiously. Secretly she hoped that a strange demon would pop out of the shadows at that very minute, it would give her a reason to delay talking to Angel. Hell, she could even pretend to be weaker than the demon and have to chase after it. That would buy her some time.

"It's not like I don't want to talk to him, it's just how do you tell someone 'Hi! I died and was brought back to life. So what's new with you?'" She thought.

Before she could walk up to the front door, she felt his presence. She always remembered getting a tingly feeling when he was near. It was strangely reassuring. Just like him, she felt a surge of energy coursing through her body.

"Hi," she said without even turning around. "I'm such a fool," she thought.

"Hi," said a dark figure walking out of the shadows behind her. Silently he mouthed an "O" as she turned around. She was more beautiful than ever.

"What? No indoor reception for me?" She nervously joked to break the tension.

"I didn't tell them that you were coming. I wanted to talk to you first."

"Oh, but you'll tell them when I leave, right? The usual." She promised herself that she wouldn't get angry. After all, he was going to be the angry one in a matter of minutes, hopefully hours. It was just she never got to say hi to her past friends, he always greeted her by reminding her that she needed to leave.

"Right," was all he could say as he looked at her. "It'd be best."

A deep feeling of sorrow had suddenly hit him when she had turned around a minute ago. He regretted leaving her in Sunnydale alone, telling her that he didn't want to be with her, and seeing that betrayed look in her eyes. But she couldn't know, she had built a life without him and that's the way it would stay. Even if it killed him.

"Can we go somewhere private?" She asked. "He's going to hate me and then I'll never see him again. Oh God why did this happen?" She silently prayed but received no answer.

"Sure, I know a place."

And with that, he led her to his room in the Hyperion through a back way.

When they arrived, they both sat down at the kitchen table. Him on one side, her on the other. The distance was stifling even though they were only a few feet apart. He remembered when he became a human that they made love on a table like this, he also remembered the fact that she would have no recollection of that. Another pain that would haunt him.

"I guess you're wondering what's so important that I had to come her to tell you. Well… There's no easy way of putting this. I died." She let that sit a couple seconds before continuing. Just seeing the shocked look on his face had reminded her of why she needed to confide in him, she wanted him to comfort her. "You remember Glorificus? Glory as she so liked to be called don't you? The demon who was around when Mom died? Well she found out that the key to opening the portal between hell and earth was Dawn. To stop the opening of another dimension and ending the world, I jumped into the portal to close it. After all, Dawn and I share the same blood. But, I kind of died in the process." She said the last part quickly but he still heard it.

"How… How could you…What?" He couldn't make out any other words. He had never known that his one and only had died. Anger began to boil inside him. "Why hadn't anybody called? Couldn't anyone just have picked up the goddamn phone? Why was this just being told to him now? Why was she here?" All these question wanted to be asked but he just couldn't speak. He couldn't imagine life without her and yet he'd survived without knowing about her death.

"Well, my friends did a spell that resurrected me. They thought that I was in hell so they wanted to get me back to the better life on Earth. Only thing they didn't know was that I went to Heaven when I died." She hadn't told anyone this except for Spike. "He needs to know everything," she told herself.

"Buffy…"

"I was resurrected less than two weeks ago so this was the earliest I could come and tell you. I wanted you to know because we're friends." She regretted the last part. She wanted to be so much more with him, every moment apart was like a moment in Hell. But she also wanted to prove Spike wrong. They could be friends! He was the one who had told her and Angel many years before that "You'll never be friends!"

The last part really stunned Angel, friends she had said. Just friends. She didn't want to love him anymore, just to like him in an un-passionate way. He wanted to be with her so much.

"Buffy, I'm so sorry. I wish I had known."

"What are you sorry for? Angel, I'm the one who's sorry. You know what killed me the most, besides falling through the portal and all? I was in Heaven, with my mother, and even though it was supposed to be perfect, it wasn't. The only thing it needed was you."

She quickly added, "don't get the impression that I'm going to kill you to make Heaven perfect, but if you had been there with me, it would have been."

"Oh Buffy. I wish I could have been there with you. You have no idea how much I do." He reached out and placed his hand over hers on the table.

"That was just about the loneliest time of my life. I knew that you weren't there with me and it was painful. I wish you had never left Sunnydale. I miss and love you too much!" There, it was out now. It was his choice, let her go home empty handed or Carpe Diem. Seize the day as Willow had told her in high school.

She began to sob. Angel sat there as if confused as to what to do. There was nothing more that he wanted to do than go to her and put his arms around her, but he still remembered why he left. She needed a normal life, if that meant without him then so be it. But this time his heart got the better of him and he rushed over to Buffy.

"I'm so sorry Buffy. I never should have left, I didn't want to but you needed a normal life. I'll do whatever you need me to do. I just want you to be happy. Please be happy," he begged her. "I want you to be happy, if you're not, I'm not."

"Move back." She stated this and looked deep into his eyes for is decision.

The words confused him for a second, did she mean to Sunnydale or move back away from her. The loving look in her eye gave him his precious answer. "I'll do it."

"Oh Angel!"

She leaped into his arms kissing him passionately. He swept her into his bedroom carefully making sure not to bump into anything on the way and placed her on the bed. He wanted to love her and hold her until they would melt into one.

"Buffy, I want to make love to you so badly. But you know I can't." He said this softly while she kissed him all over his face and neck. Thoughts of leaving her those years ago and giving her the reason that he couldn't make love to her, came rushing back.

"I know, just be here with me right now. I love you." Deep down she knew that even if they never reached that step in the rest of their lives she would still be the happiest person on the face of the earth.

"I love you too, more than life itself. I promise to never let go of you, for all eternity."

He lay down next to her, his arm around her shoulders while she put her hands on his stomach and lay against his chest. His other hand stroking her cheek and hair. The feeling of perfection came to both of them that instant. Like they were always meant to be like this. Their bodies beautifully matched to the others.

"Nothing in the world could make this moment any more perfect." She said before snuggling even closer to her lover. Oh, how she missed this.

"Nothing."

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