Rating: PG-14
Spoilers: I Will Remember You (The 'I' In Team NEVER happenend!!!)
Disclaimer: There not mine. They belong to evil-acid man Joss Whedon and Fox and Mutant Enemy productions. I'll be sure to put the nice people back where I found them when I have had my fun.
Feedback: Oh it's like candy!! Yes please!
Classification: Yay Buffy and Angel. Riley is..dumb.

Prologue:

"Angel? This is the first time I've ever felt this way," Buffy sighed as Angel rubbed his hands through her hair.

"What way?"

She hesitated, "Like a normal girl, falling asleep in the arms of her normal boyfriend," she smiled softly. "Its perfect."

Angel kissed her forehead and smiled to himself. *I've never been happier.*

* * *

"I wasn't sure I could do it if I woke up with you one more morning," Angel held Buffy to his chest as she cried gently.

"I understand," she sniffled. "So." she paused, "What happens now?"

"The oracles are giving us back the day, turning back time so that I can kill Morah before his blood makes me mortal."

"When?" She looked into his eyes dreading the answer.

"Another minute," He looked down at her regretfully.

"Minute? No. No. It's not enough time," She felt the tears begin to roll uncontrollably down her cheeks.

"We don't have a choice. It's done," Angel looked down at her, gently wiping her tears away.

Buffy paused, "How am I supposed to go on with my life. knowing what we had. what we could have had?"

"You won't," Angel stopped her. "No one will know but me."

"Everything we did."

"It never happened," he interrupted her.

"It did. It did. I know it did," new tears began to roll down her cheeks. She laid her hand gently on his chest. "I felt your heart beat," she looked up into his eyes.

"Buffy," Angel pulled her close and their lips met in one final desperate kiss. Buffy threw her arms around his shoulders and squeezed as tightly as she could, as if it would prevent him from leaving her all over again.

She glanced at the clock behind her, the seconds ticking by at a cruel rate. " Oh God. It's not enough time," Buffy buried her face in Angel's shoulder.

"Please, please, please." Angel pleaded with her to calm down although it was to no avail.

"I'll never forget. I'll never forget. "I'll never forget." Buffy chanted repeatedly, willing herself to remember the day's events. The lovers squeezed their eyes shut arms still wrapped around each other, not willing to let go just yet.

* * *

Buffy sat up in bed. "Ohmigod." she whispered before beginning to sob uncontrollably. Willow climbed out of bed and ran to Buffy's side.

"Buffy what's wrong?'

"I." unable to form words, Buffy just cried in her friends arms until her dream began to fade from memory.

Buffy had remembered.

Part I:

". he was alive. human." Having calmed down, Buffy relayed the events of her dream to Willow. "And we were finally together, but he gave it all up because he was afraid I was going to get hurt trying to protect him."

"Buffy," Willow rubbed Buffy's back. "Are you certain that all this actually happened? You're sure you weren't just dreaming?"

"No! It was real. It happened," she paused. "I remember," she whispered.

"Oh. Well don't you think."

"I need to see him," Buffy interrupted. She climbed out of her bed and pulled open her closet door searching for a nice dress to wear.

"Buffy, are you sure that's such a good idea after." she stopped herself. "Sorry. I just meant. maybe you should talk to Giles first." Willow stood and took the pale pink dress out of Buffy's hands.

"You don't trust my judgment?" Buffy questioned her friend and took the dress back.

"No I do." Willow stuttered. "Just um maybe you should make sure that Giles doesn't need you do anything around here before you race off to LA."

Buffy considered this for a moment. " You're probably right. Giles would want to know about this lost day thing."

"I'm sure he would," Willow sighed in relief, internally of course.

Thank goodness>

* * *

"Just a moment," Giles stood from his chair and stood to answer the rather insistent knock at his door. "Oh good morning," he said sarcastically. "Where were you two all evening?"

"Sorry Giles. we. um." Willow stuttered.

"Yea Sorry Giles," Buffy interrupted. She stepped passed Giles and threw her coat on an empty chair. "Willow and I were having a little girly fun and since there was no urgent need for world saveage we left the phone off the hook."

"Yes. Well while you were having your 'girly fun,' as you call it, I discovered something rather alarming."

"Oh?" Buffy actually seemed to brighten at the news. "Do I get to pummel something?"

"Several things actually."

"Oh yay!" she said in a loud and very sarcastic manner. "So, what's the disaster this time?"

"The hellmouth is going to open again."

"What? When?" Buffy dropped her bag and looked to Giles concerned.

"New Years Eve, I think."

"There goes my quiet evening with Riley," Buffy glanced at Willow who gave her a look of sympathy.

"Don't worry Buffy," Willow reassured her. "Everyone will be there to help out - including Riley I'm sure. Won't the initiative be involved in this too? Besides, he cares about you way to much to let you fight alone."

"I guess you're right."

"Enough with the party plans please girls. We need to discuss an offensive."

"Do you mind?" Spike stepped out from the bathroom, blood dripping down his chin. "I'm trying to watch 'Passions' in there and you people are making me miss it!"

"Well boo hoo," Buffy put her hands on her hips.

"Gee," he turned to Giles. " Does she know who's here?"

"Spike." Giles warned.

"Who's here? Huh? What? Am I missing something?" Buffy looked around Giles' otherwise empty apartment and then back to Giles. "What's going on?"

"I um."

"Oh goodie!" Spike clapped his hands and turned to Buffy. "I get to tell her!" he wiped the blood from his chin, then licked it from his finger. "Well. apparently something big is going down in ol' Sunnycal so Giles called your ex in to rescue you," he turned towards the kitchen. "Hey Angel!"

Angel stepped out into the hallway. "For the last time Spike! I will not watch that stupid soap opera with you! I." he stopped as he saw Buffy standing in the hallway beside Giles. "Oh. Hi Buffy."

Part II:

"Angel," Buffy walked toward her ex. "What are you doing here?"

"Giles called me last night and asked me to come. Thought you might need some help," he shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh." She turned to Giles, "Thanks for the warning."

"You unplugged your phone," he retorted.

"Never mind." She turned back to Angel, "So, how are things?"

"They're alright, I guess," he looked at the floor. "I'm ."

"I need to speak to you in private," she interrupted him suddenly. "Now." Buffy grabbed Angel's hand and felt the familiar spark.

"Buffy," Giles started, "We really must."

"Give her a minute," Willow stopped him. "This is important."

Buffy tugged Angel toward the stairs and turned to Giles. "You guys get started." Still holding hands, the two walked up the stairs to Giles' bedroom.

* * *

"So." Angel started. "What's up?" he sat on Giles' bed and let go of her hand.

"I um." not knowing quite what to say, she sat down beside him on the bed and looked down into her lap. "I remember."

"What?" Angel looked up at her, but Buffy could not meet his gaze.

"I remember. the ice-cream. the peanut butter. the kitchen table. You were human," she fumbled with her skirt. "I told you I'd never forget," she paused. "What we have. had," she corrected herself, "surpassed the boundaries of time. I told you I'd never forget," she repeated herself.

Not knowing quite what to say, Angel grabbed her hand. "Buffy I." she pulled away.

"Don't touch me," her voice stung. "This is hard enough already."

"I'm so sorry," he pleaded.

"Why? For what?"

"For giving up our only chance at happiness. For forcing you to forget what we had. what we could've had if I was."

Buffy looked into his soft brown eyes. "No," she shook her head. "You did what you thought was right. You did it because you loved me too much to put me in anymore danger," she could feel the tears begin to roll down her cheeks.

Angel grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips. "I love you. so much. If you were hurt because of me, I couldn't go on living. You understand, don't you?"

"I do," Buffy stared into her lap. "I know how hard that must've been for you. Going to the oracles," she paused, "telling me that we could never." she stopped herself and looked back up into his eyes. "I love you too. Always," she slid closer to him.

"We can't be doing this Buffy," Angel sighed sadly but did not move from his seat on the bed. Buffy didn't respond. Instead, she lifted his hand to her lips and wrapped her other arm around his shoulder, pulling him close.

"We can't." he protested one last time

"Don't. Shhh." As they stared into each other's eyes, the two lovers lost control and gave up trying to resist each other. Angel wrapped his powerful arms around Buffy's waist and their lips met in a passionate kiss. She let out a small moan she ran her hands though his hair and the kiss deepened. Gently, he lay her on Giles' bed and began to undo her blouse. After fumbling with the buttons, he pulled the shirt off her shoulders and slipped it down her arms, the touch of his hands on her bare skin intoxicating.

"Kiss me." Buffy pulled his head up from her chest and he kissed her more passionately. He lay feather-light kisses on her lips, nose, and gently down her neck. When he reached the scar, a reminder of her sacrifice for him, he stopped and sat up.

"Buffy. we can't do this. I don't want to..." Before he could finish, she hugged her shirt to her chest and ran from the room. "Buffy stop!" Angel called after her. She ran down the stairs and outside into the light, where she knew he couldn't follow. Angel stood at the top of the stairs, "Please stop," he whispered. Buffy slammed the door behind her.

* * *

Willow stood from her chair and turned to Angel angrily. "What was that?" she picked up Buffy's crossbow and fumbled with it for a moment. "Did you two... are you evil again?"

Angel sighed, "For the last time No! I'm not evil!"

"Well," Giles stood from his chair. "You could see how that conclusion could be reached considering the situation."

"What do you mean?"

"Buffy running out my front door without her shirt and sobbing uncontrollably is a pretty good clue."

"Oh that."

"Yea."

"What happened?" Willow demanded.

Not knowing where Buffy had told Willow about the forgotten day he simply said, "We were talking and things started to get out of hand. So, I stopped it and then she ran off crying."

"What exactly did you two talk about?" Giles asked.

"Um. it's private."

"Fine," Giles spoke in an obviously irritated tone.

"Willow," Angel started, "Can you please try to find Buffy? I really need to talk to her."

"And more importantly, I need to fill her in on the impeding disaster."

"Ok. I'm gone," she grabbed her shoulder bag and ran out the front door. I'll bring her back here as quickly as I can. Giles, try to call our room, maybe she's there."

* * *

Buffy ran from Giles' house, tears flowing in a tortured river down her icy skin. She made a feeble attempt to wipe them away with the shirt she still clutched to her chest. "I can't do this again. I can't!" she collapsed to her knees and her face fell into her hands. "I can't lose you again," she spoke to no one in particular. She thought only of Angel, his hands caressing her light skin. She could feel his lips on hers, laying gentle kisses on her face, down her neck and on her chest. "Stop!" she pounded the ground with her fists. "Please stop!" She pulled at her hair and pleaded with herself to flood the vivid images from her mind.

After a few minutes, she was able to get her breathing under control, although tears still blurred her vision. Buffy knew that Giles would send Willow to look for her and at the moment, she didn't particularly want to be found. Therefore, instead of returning to her dorm, she went in the other direction, towards the old mansion. As she stood, a voice in the back of her mind told her that she was acting irresponsibly, but her grief had shut down any rationale that remained an obstacle; she gave in to her tears.

When she arrived at the old mansion, she pushed open the main doors and let light fill the room. The sort-of chalk outline that was formed when Angel had made his unexpected return still lay undisturbed on the cold, stone floor. She could still smell him, the scent of his sweat assaulting her senses and making her think of the feel of his hands on her skin. As her mind began to shut down, she fled to his bedroom and collapsed on his bed. It seemed, to her, that the sheets were still warm from their lovemaking an eternity ago. She cried herself to sleep, clutching the sheets in a death-grip, as if by letting go of the simple fabric she would be letting go of him as well.

* * *

"Buffy? Are you here?" Willow pushed the door of their room open and stepped inside, closing the door behind her. "Buffy? Are you alright?"

No answer.

Sighing, she sat down on her bed and tried to think. "Ok. She's not here," she paused. "She'd want to be alone." Nonchalantly, she looked over at Buffy's desk and her eyes came to rest upon the photo of Buffy and her mother standing outside their old house. "Maybe she went home." she thought aloud. "Oh well," she stood from the bed. "It's worth a shot."

Just as she was about to leave, she heard a soft but insistent knock on the door. Cautiously she opened it. "Buffy?"

"Hi Willow," Riley stood just outside the door with some daisies that were presumably for Buffy. "Is Buffy here?"

"No, but come in," she moved out of the way, allowing Riley to walk past her into the small room. "You haven't seen her in the last twenty minutes or so, have you?"

"No sorry," he sat on Buffy's bed. "Is anything wrong?"

"Um." she hesitated, "No. I just need to ask her something."

"Oh," he knew she was lying. "Can I leave these here for her?" he motioned to the pretty daisies he had brought.

"Sure." Willow surveyed the room and pulled out the only glass vase they had. "Here." Riley put the flowers in the vase and placed them on Buffy's night table.

"Riley," she paused considering telling him about Angel, then deciding that it would be better to let Buffy tell him. "If you see Buffy, can you tell her that I'm looking for her?"

"Yea. Sure."

"And uh. send her to see Giles Ok?"

"Giles. is that her."

"Yea. Giles is her watcher." Riley and Buffy had eventually explained their situations to one another; she knew about the Initiative and he, in turn, knew about the 'Scooby gang,' as she called it.

"Are you sure everything's alright?"

"Yup. Sunshiny. The hills are alive."

"Ok Ok," he stood from the bed and headed for the door. "Well, I gotta go. The Initiative is preparing for the opening of the hellmouth," he paused, "You guys know about that right?"

"Yea. I'm heading over to the 'research party' now."

"Oh," he looked puzzled. "Ok," he stepped out the door but stopped before he closed it. "Tell her I miss her."

"Sure. Will do." He closed the door, leaving Willow alone in the room.

* * *

"Giles?" Xander and Anya stepped into his apartment.

"In here," he called. He and Angel were sitting among several huge piles of books. Giles was leafing through a huge book, while Angel sat quietly, looking somberly at the floor.

"Did you find Buffy?" Xander sat on the couch beside Angel. "Move over dead -boy!" Angel gave him a menacing glare and he backed off.

"Willow's still looking," Angel slid down the couch allowing Xander to sit comfortably.

"I don't see why you guys are worrying. Riley and his boys." she paused, "mmmmm.commando guys.." Anya got a faraway look in her eyes and she lost track of her train of thought.

"Hey!" Xander pouted at her. "I'm sitting right here ya know!"

"Right. Yea. Anyway," she continued. "With Riley and his boys helping we don't even need Buffy. I mean."

"We will always need Buffy," Angel's tone was full of remorse. He was very obviously speaking of himself and not the others who happened to be in the room.

"Yea, whatever," Anya crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Xander for support.

"Sorry sweetie, but Angel's right," he motioned her to sit beside him. "I will always need Buffy to feel safe from bad guys."

"You don't feel safe with me?" she pouted.

"No. You are the bad guys!" he laughed at his own joke, and out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Giles crack a smile.

"Fine," she sat down. "Just for that, I'm not going to be your orgasm friend anymore!"Giles started to laugh.

"So not funny book man."

"Yes well. Can we please get down to business? I'm sure Buffy will be back soon and we need to be ready when the hellmouth opens. That means each of you needs to do exactly what I say, when I say it."

" That's right! You take charge book man," Xander smirked.

"Xander, don't," Angel gave Xander a stern look.

"Oh yea. Book man and dead boy. What a team," he laughed.

"Xander!" Giles stood angrily.

"Sorry," he felt badly. "I was just trying to lighten the mood."

"Hey guys," Willow walked gloomily though the door.

"Did you find her?" Giles stood from his chair and took Willow's coat.

"No. I looked everywhere: our room, her house, the bronze, the coffee shop, the student center, everywhere, but there was no sign of her. I spoke to Riley and he hadn't seen her either."

"Who's Riley?" Angel stood from the couch and turned to face Willow.

"Oh.um. Riley is Buffy's new b. friend. They met in psych class."

"Oh," although she hadn't said it, Angel knew exactly who Riley was - his replacement.

"Look," Giles changed the subject quickly. "We don't need to get sidetracked. A lot is going to happen when the hellmouth opens and I want everyone to be ready. Willow," he beckoned her to the couch and handed her a book. "I need you to do a binding spell to minimize the number of demons that escape while Buffy is fighting. We only have one chance to close the portal so we need to get it right. Angel, I'll need you to go after these," he opened a large book to a marked page and handed it to Angel.

"COOL DEMON NAME? These guys look pretty nasty."

"Well don't worry. There should only be a few, and to kill them all you have to do is spear them right here," he pointed to a third eye on their foreheads.

"Alright," Angel agreed.

"Xander, I'll need you and Anya to help me fight anything else that happens to pop out. Because I'm not sure what else, or how many, I'll need you to be on full alert at all times."

"Kay. I'll try not to run and hide."

"That's my boy," Anya messed up his hair.

"Wait a sec," Angel turned to face Giles.

"What is Buffy doing?"

"Or should he say, 'what is she pummeling?'" Xander piped in.

"Buffy is 'pummeling', as you said, a INSERT COOL DEMON NAME #2 HERE. It has the physiology of your average African python, but with some exceptions. First, it's about one hundred times bigger. Secondly, it has seven heads, one larger one in the center, and six smaller ones surrounding it. It shoots acidic slime on its victims, blinding and incapacitating them, before, like the African python, it swallows them whole. The only way it can be killed, is by the decapitation of its center head, which is approximately two feet in diameter."

"Thanks for all the gory details, geez," realizing the seriousness of their situation, Xander again tried to lighten the mood.

"I won't let Buffy fight this thing alone," Angel stood up and turned to face Giles. "It'll kill her."

"Buffy's a big girl. She'll be alright," Giles tried to calm him down.

"It doesn't matter. I won't stand by and let her fight by herself, especially that thing."

"Giles," Willow interrupted. "Why doesn't Angel help Buffy. I'm sure Riley and his boys would be happy to help fight the COOL DEMON NAME #1s."

"Wait," Angel looked to Willow puzzled. "Riley knows that Buffy is the slayer?"

"Well. yea. See, Riley is a member of a group of super-strong army commandos called the Initiative. They fight demons like we do."

"Oh," Angel sat back down. 'Then Buffy really doesn't need me at all,' he thought. 'After the fight, I'll leave and let her be with this Riley person. I don't want to get in the way.'

"Giles? I'm going to need a few things from the magick shop. I can go and pick them up now," Willow stood and grabbed her coat from the rack.

"Hurry then," he checked his watch before Willow ran out the door. "Xander?"

Xander jumped out of his chair and put his hand on his head in a false army salute. "Yes sir, Bookman sir."

Giles sighed. "Could you please go to Buffy's and bring her weapons trunk back here? They're a few things in there I need."

"Sure thing." He stood and turned to Anya, "Lets go orgasm buddy!" Xander and Anya hopped off out Giles front door, unintentionally slamming it behind them, leaving Angel and Giles alone.

"Right. Angel, I need you to..."

Suddenly, Angel jumped from his seat on the couch. "I know where she is," he grabbed his coat and ran out into the night.

"Wait! Angel are you sure that's such a good idea?" Angel didn't hear him.

"Dammit," Giles closed his door and turned to face the piles of looming books. Instead, he found Spike standing behind him.

"Can I help too?"

Part III:

Buffy slept restlessly, tossing and turning in bed, having strange dreams.

"Don't give up yet," Faith walked over to Buffy, who was sitting up in Angel's bed. "He needs you. You need each other."

"I know. But we can't be together. There are too many obstacles. We don't work."

"There IS a way. Don't give up yet," she repeated herself.

"I don't understand."

"Make his strong, like you, like Riley," Faith lay her hand of Buffy's shoulder as she paused. "Make him human."

* * *

Angel walked into the mansion, taking shelter from the cool night air, although it was equally cold inside. "Buffy?" No answer. He walked through the main room into his old bedroom. He found Buffy sleeping restlessly in his bed, with a troubled look on her face. "Buffy." he walked to her and sat at the end of the bed. At that moment, she woke from her dream and sat up in bed, her eyes falling on Angel.

"Angel," she reached for him and he put his arms around her, pulling her close. I'm so sorry." she began to cry.

"Shhh." he rubbed her back. "It's OK now. It's alright."

Buffy opened her eyes as the images from her dream came back to her in a flash. She visibly tensed against him.

"Are you OK?" Angel looked to her concerned.

"Um. I."

"Look, about what happened.

"You don't need to explain. Things got out of hand. I know. I was there." Angel pulled away but kept his hands on her shoulders; Buffy didn't try to move them.

"I'm sorry."

"Why? Because you let things go as far as they did?"

"No," he paused. "But yes. I'm sorry I put you at risk by letting things go that far. I'm sorry because whenever we're together there is a risk," he let go of her and looked down into his lap "I don't know how I'll be able to stay away from you. I moved out of Sunnydale, and it hasn't worked," his eyes welled up with tears. "But this," he motioned to the lack of space between them. "You and I. we don't work."

"Look," she sniffled. "I have something I need to do. Could you tell Giles that I'll be back as soon as I can?"

"Buffy no. We have to get ready for-"

"I know OK," she interrupted him. "Don't give me the responsibility speech. I've heard it. This.

What I have to do, it's more important."

"What could possibly be more important?"

"Trust me?"

"Always," le looked at her sincerely.

"Alright then. I'll be back as soon as I can," Buffy turned and headed for the door, but stopped as she felt Angel approach from behind her; she turned to face him. "I love you," she threw her arms around him and kissed him passionately. The feeling of desperate passion, of his lips on hers, made Angel forget his own name. And, if only for a brief moment, the world dissolved away, leaving them lost in each other's arms. Finally, Buffy pulled away, breathless. She gently placed her hands upon his chest, where his heart should have been beating. She looked up at him, "Goodbye. I'll be back soon." She turned and ran from the room.

"Buffy wait!"

She didn't hear him and was gone, never to be seen or heard from again. (Just kidding ;) )

* * *

"Giles!" Angel burst through Giles' door. "Giles!" He came out from the kitchen holding a book in one hand and a cup of steaming hot tea in the other.

"Did you find her?" he put his book on the table and sipped his tea.

"I did," Angel spoke quietly.

"Good. Where is she then? I need to speak with her."

"I don't know."

"Pardon me?" he put his tea down.

"She ran off. I don't know where she went."

"Angel--"

"I'm sorry."

"Alright," she sighed. "What happened?"

"I found her asleep in the mansion. She woke up and we talked about what happened. She seemed find," Angel moved to sit down. "Suddenly she just ran off. I don't know why. She told me to tell you that she's sorry and she be back as soon as she can."

"Why didn't you stop her?"

"I tried but she...." realizing that he had not really done anything but let her go, he stopped mid-sentence. "I trust her. She said that she was doing something important. I believer her, and I believe she'll be back in time to help us. I trust her," he repeated.

Giles sighed, but realized Angel was right. Giles trusted Buffy completely; she was extremely competent and would keep her word. "Well, we'll just have to get ready without her. Tomorrow night is New Year's ever and we need to be ready."

Suddenly, his door swung open and Willow wobbled through the door. "Help! I could use some help please!" She carried with her several paper bags, one blocking her vision and rocking back and forth precariously.

Angel, (being the chivalrous hot sweet guy. mmmm Angel.Loo pauses. really really llloooonnnnggg pause. Ok done now.) jumped up and took several bags from Willow and placed them on the table. "What is all this?"

"Oh. These are my supplies for the spell," she put her bags down on the table beside Angel's. "Of course, I bought some extra just in case."

"Excellent. That's my girl," Giles began to leaf through one of the bags, pulling out several odd smelling items. Angel watched him quietly, lost in thoughts of Buffy. He couldn't figure out why she had acted so strangely.

"Hey book man! You wanna give me a hand here?" Xander came stumbling through the already open door carrying Buffy's extremely heavy weapons trunk. Anya walked in behind him, filing her nails.

Giles stood from his seat and helped Xander carry the trunk into the room. "Thank you Xander.""Sure." He turned to Anya, "Thanks for the help sweetie," he said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Hey," she stopped filing her nails. "Girl remember? I'm not a superhero like Buffy. I don't do lifting," she wined as she continued to file her nails.

"Oh gee, I'm so sorry," Xander pouted at her and Giles sighed.

"You town, we have no time to engage in one of your pointless arguments. We need to get to he school to set up."

"Wait," Angel stood and walked toward Giles. "What about Buffy? When she gets back from. wherever she is, she's not going to know where we are. She'll probably come back here."

"Good thinking," Giles put down the bags he had been carrying. "Perhaps we should leave her a note," he picked up some paper and a pen.

"I'll do it," Angel jumped in. "I'll catch up with you guys later."

"Alright," he handed the paper and pen to Angel and then turned to Willow. "Can you please carry some of those bags? And Anya, you too?

"Me?? But I have to-"

Xander interrupted, "You can file your nails later, kay? This is important," he took the nail file from Anya's hands.

She grumbled, but agreed.

"I'll help Xander with the trunk," Giles lifted one end on the trunk off the floor."

"Thanks G-man," Xander lifted the other end.

Willow and Anya lifted the bags from the table and walked with Giles and Xander out Giles' front door. "Bye Angel," Willow attempted to wave ands still keep hold of her bags.

"Go. I'll catch up," Angel closed the door and sat down on the couch. He lifted a heavy book off the table and placed a sheet of paper on it. After thinking for a moment, he began to write:

Dear Buffy,

I am writing you this letter because you ran off before I could talk to you, and we likely won't have time to talk during the battle. It's just easier this way. I will be returning to LA after the battle. No good-byes, like before. I can't control myself around you, as my desire for you is too strong. I'm so sorry I let things go so far. I don't know where you went, or understand why you had to go, but I'm certain you had reasons, and I'm sure they were good ones. I won't be coming back to Sunnydale again, regardless of the situation, because it is too dangerous for me to be around you. Although I will never see you again, know that what we have lives on in my in my heart, and I will always love you. I could never love another person with the true passion and feeling I felt for you. My heart is always yours, and I am with you in spirit. I will always remember our time in LA, through my newfound love for ice cream and chocolate-and-peanut butter. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me for causing you so much pain.

Yours Always,

Angel

P.S. Please come to the high school. We will be waiting there for you.

Angel signed the letter, wiping a stray tear from his eyes. He folded the letter, wrote Buffy's name on the front of it and placed it on the coffee table. He then to her claddagh ring (he had found it on the floor of the mansion when he had first returned), kissed it, and placed it on top of the letter. "Goodbye Buffy."

Part IV:

"Did he ask you to come here and speak for him?"

"No. He doesn't even know I'm here," Buffy had asked Doyle to help her gain access to the oracles and he had reluctantly agreed. However, she told him only that she was seeking their help for the New Year's battle, not that she planned to use them to make Angel human again.

"Then why have you come?"

"I'm here to beg for his life, for our lives."

"You want Angel to be granted the life of a human again, after he asked us to take it back?"

"Yes."

"We do not get involved in matters of the heart," the male oracle turned and walked away, leaving his partner standing with Buffy.

"He is right. Matters of love are not our business," she looked at Buffy sadly. "I am sorry," she turned and began to follow her brother into the brightly-lit doorway.

"Please," Buffy sobbed, beginning to cry. Perhaps it was her tears, or maybe it was the way she pleaded in such a desperate whisper, but something made the female oracle stop and turn around.

"You would put yourself in grave danger, just to be with him," it was a statement.

"Yes," Buffy wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Why?"

"Because I love him," she said simply. "Haven't you ever felt love for anyone?"

"No. I have been an oracle all my life. The feeling of love does not exist within me," she paused. "Why do you let it control you so?" she asked.

"My love for Angel is my asset. It's part of me, it always has been. It doesn't control me, it makes me stronger."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because without Angel, I can't love. That asset is gone, as if a piece of me is missing. I can't fight. or even form rationale thought. I need him."

"I would like to help you," she paused. "But Angel is an important asset to us as well. He is one of our strongest warriors, and his dedication to our cause is immeasurable. As a human, he could no longer fight with us, and our cause would most certainly be lost. He will get hurt, or worse."

"He won't get hurt," she said sharply,

"How can you be so certain?"

"Do you know of the initiative?" Buffy asked.

"Yes. Are they not a group of demon fighters, much like yourself."

"Sort of," she paused as she thought for a moment. "Their warriors have the strength of three grown men, and the speed of some kind of wild animal. I mean, have you seen that Guinness book of world records show? And there was this guy could lift up a minivan all by himself?" Realizing the absurdity of her question, she continued without waiting for an answer. "Never mind. Anyway, a member of the initiative would be a great asset to our team. What if I could get the leader of the initiative to agree to make Angel a warrior? Then he'd be even more valuable to you. And he and I could fight together."She thought for a moment, "Well, it certainly sounds like a feasible option. Has the leader of the initiative agreed to make Angel a warrior"

"mm. well. not really."

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't exactly asked her yet."

"Why not?" she asked.

"I.um. well because of Angel I."

"It's alright. No need to explain," she paused for a moment to think. "Alright. The powers that be will allow us to make Angel mortal, BUT he must become a member of the initiative or he will be returned to his previous state of existence."

Buffy couldn't thank the oracle for her help because she had burst into tears and was on her hands and knees on the floor. After a few minutes, she regained control, stood and turned to the oracle. "I can't possibly thank you enough for what you're doing for us."

"Do not thank me yet child. Remember your promise. Angel will become mortal on New Year's Day at noon. We expect him to be a member of the initiative within 24 hours of that time. IF not, he will again be a demon with a soul."

"I understand," Buffy turned to go.

"Good luck my child," the oracle smiled, then turned and walked into the light.

* * *

When the Scooby Gang arrived at what remained of high school, Professor Walsh, Riley and the rest of the Initiative were already setting up.

"Mr. Giles," Prof. Walsh stopped giving instructions and walked over to him. "Where's Buffy?"

"Well. um. we aren't actually sure where she is. She should be here soon," he looked sheepishly at her.

"That's extremely irresponsible of both of you. Can't you keep your slayer under control?" she turned for a moment and called to Riley. "Agent Finn," she turned back to Giles. "Well Mr. Giles, she's not here is she?"<"Well, no but."

"Then I believe that she does need a watcher. Don't you think so?" she turned back to Riley and didn't give Giles a chance to answer. "Agent Finn, is you group ready?"

"Yes we are," he stood at the ready with his gun resting on his shoulder.

"Excellent. Please stay here with Mr. Giles and his "crew." Inquire about their plans." She took him aside and whispered, "Don't let him get in the way." She patted him on the back and walked a few feet before calling out shrilly, "Forest!" Prof. Walsh headed over to where Forest stood with a few other commandos, leaving Riley with the Scooby Gang.

"So," he started, "you still haven't found her."

"No. well. we did. Sort of," Willow looked up at him.

"What do you mean 'sort of'?"

"Angel found her, and then she ran off. She said she had something important to do."

"Oh. Well that's." he paused, "who's Angel?"

"I'm Angel," he walked up to Riley. "And you are?" he spoke to Riley with sarcasm in his voice, knowing full well who he was.

"I'm Riley Finn, a CLOSE, personal friend of Buffy's," Riley felt threatened by Angel's presence and spoke in his most powerful voice.

"Uh huh."

"You saw Buffy?"

"Yea. She was at my place," his voice hid his obvious disdain for Riley.

"What did she say? Did she mention me?" He moved his gun from his shoulder and rested the butt on the floor.

"Afraid not. She was a bit preoccupied with m..." he stopped himself, "with something. We talked a bit and then she told me she had some important things to do. Then she ran off."

"I see," his concern for Buffy was obvious. "I hope she's alright," he spoke to himself.

"Riley?" Giles spoke up. "Can you let us in on what the Initiative is planning?

"Um." he knew he wasn't supposed to tell them what was going on. He was basically to get them out of the way. "That depends on what you guys are going to do."

Willow spoke up quickly. "I'm going to do a binding spell," she was proud.

"Oh. A what?"

"Certainly you must know the basic spells? Magicks?"

` "Well yes," he lied, "But I didn't know Willow had a knowledge of them."

"Hey! Wiccan remember?" Willow raised her eyebrows.

"Sorry. I just thought.. Well I've seen you at the Wicca group and."

"I know," Willow sighed. "Bake sales. It's all bake sales."

"Willow," Giles stopped their awkward conversation. "We should get started.

"Kay." Willow picked up the paper bags she'd been carrying and walked with Giles to an isolated pile of Rubble, leaving Riley and Angel in an uncomfortable silence.

"So." Xander rocked back and forth on his heels. "This is the first time you guys have met huh?"

Neither answered.

"I should go help Willow and Giles," Angel turned and walked away.

"Yea. I should get back to my team," Riley turned and walked in the other direction.

"Well that was fun!" Xander grabbed Anya's hand.

"Yup. Eye candy." she got a faraway look in her eyes.

"Must you?" Xander let go of her hand.

"Oh yea," Anya shook her head and licked her lips. "Buffy's lucky," she pouted. "She's got two sweaty, rippling men swooning over her. Mmmm.. Rippley."

Xander sighed. "Frankly, I'm hurt," he turned and walked to Giles, Willow and Angel. Anya didn't move.

* * *

"Giles?" Buffy walked into his apartment. "Is anyone here? Hello?" she put her bag on a chair and walked into the main room. "Where is everybody?" she turned around and headed for the door. "Maybe they're in my room." Just as she turned to leave, she glanced at the coffee table and saw an envelope with her name on it. She walked to the table and sat down on the couch.

Buffy lifted the letter off the table and the Claddagh ring fell onto the floor. She bent down and picked up the ring, rolling it between her fingers. After thinking about its meaning, she slid it onto her finger and smiled. Slowly, she opened the letter and began to read.

When she was finished, there were tears streaming freely down her cheeks. She knew she'd have to stop him from leaving or he'd become mortal in LA without her and he wouldn't be able to join the Initiative in time. It wasn't his promise to leave that made her cry; it was his words of honest passion, a feeling that she returned completely. She folded the letter and slipped it into her pocket. "You're not leaving me Angel," she stood and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "You're not going anywhere.

Part V "Giles, it's 11:45. We have to get started," Willow grabbed his hand and pulled him to where they'd set up the binding spell. "I know," Giles looked out the hole in a charred wall that was once possibly a window. "I'm worried about Buffy." "I know. Me too," she looked at him sympathetically, "But she'll get here. And I'm sure she's fine." He sighed. "Alright. Let's get going." As Giles and Willow began to perform the complicated spell, Anya and Xander sat with Riley, who was demonstrating how to put together an M-16 in 57 seconds. Angel stood by himself, staring wistfully out the hole-in-the-wall. Without warning, the sky went black, as dark clouds covered the moon. Lighting colored the skyscape and thunder clapped so violently that it threatened to knock down the walls that were hovering protectively around them. "Its starting!" Angel ran towards Giles and Willow, "Are you guys ready?" "Not yet!" Giles yelled. Angel could hardly hear him over the roar of the thunder. "Bastards are bloody early!" The candles forming a protective circle around them threatened to blow out as a hug gust of wind swept through the remains of the building. The ground beneath their feet shook, and a crack flew threw their circle, splitting it in half. From the crack came a tortured roar as the COOL DEMON #2 lifted its heads from beneath the earth. "There the hell is she?" Angel yelled at Giles, who was on the other side of the widening crack. "Hey! You started without me!" The Scooby gang turned towards what used to be the entrance to the library and saw Buffy standing there with her hands on her hips. It was like a scene from a B-action movie; she stood up straight, crossbow in one hand, stake in the other. The moon behind her was peeking through the clouds and casting eerie pools of light around her feet. All that was missing was the cheesy "never fear, Buffy's here!" time to save the day music. "Buffy!" Willow called. The COOL DEMON #2 began to move in Buffy's direction. "Well hi there. I'm Buffy, and you, are about to die," she smiled sarcastically.

The demon growled in response. "When I'm finished with you, you're going to wish that you were never born… wait… how exactly… never mind. I don't think I want to know." Buffy ran at the demon at top slayer speed, letting out an 'I'm Xena, Warrior Princess' yell, just for the hell of it. Angel followed suit, but minus the yell. Riley and the Initiative went to work destroying COOL DEMON #1 as they had emerged from the crack while Buffy was punning. Willow and Giles began the protection spell again, hoping that it would prove Buffy with some safety. Angel and Buffy fought side-by-side, the way it was meant to be, in an almost mulling, rhythmic fashion; Buffy kicks a head to Angel, Angel punches it back to Buffy. Buffy punches head to Angel, Angel kicks it back to Buffy. The fighting went on for an hour; however, it seemed that they were making no progress. Every time they hit it, it hit them back, and harder each time.

Finally, Buffy aimed for its neck. She threw herself onto its back and tried to stab it, while Angel held it from below. Savagely, it threw her from its back, and she flew into the wall, head first, a few feet away. She fell into a crumpled mess on the floor below and curled up in obvious pain. Her brow furrowed in concentration as she tried to keep from passing out. Blood dipped from a rather large and nasty looking wound on her forehead, blocking her eyesight. A huge gash ran from her shoulder to her wrist and her elbow bone had broken the skin and was poking through.

"Buffy!" Angel ran to her to make sure she was all right. "I'm… fine…" she struggled to find her breath. "You have to finish it…" "Are you sure?" he bent down and brushed some hair matted with blood, from her eyes" "Yes. I'm … fine. Go…" she put her hand on her stomach and groaned in pain. "I love you," he whispered, before running to face the demon that had harmed his precious Buffy. His anger flared and his game face inadvertently came forward. He grabbed his 'handy fighting axe' from a pile of casually discarded stones, and glanced over to Buffy one last time. She lay in a contorted position atop a pile of ash. Blood trickled from her mouth and down her chin, where it mixed with her tears. She coughed and more blood foamed from the corners of her mouth. To see her so helpless and in so much pain angered Angel to the point that when he turned back to face the demon, he let out an inhuman growl. He ran towards the demon and launched at it, landing on its back. It roared in surprise and shook violently, trying to throw Angel of him. He held on though, refusing to let go, knowing full well that this would be his last chance. Finally, he raised his axe over his head and brought it down in an angry swoop. The demon screamed as its central head fell ! from its shoulders. The other six ceased their struggles, and everything was suddenly silent. Angel slid from the demon's back and began to run towards Buffy, when the ground again began to shake. Lightning lit up the sky and thunder shook the once-walls of the building once more. Slowly, the crack in the center of the floor began to recede. Willow and Giles crawled out from under a table and began to re-perform the binding incantation. Once they had finished, the demons fighting the Initiative were sucked back into the remaining part of the crack in the floor. Once the shaking had ceased, Angel ran to Buffy, who was finally unconscious on the floor. A pool of blood had formed beneath her and was beginning to snake across the floor. For some reason, her shirt was soaked in blood, although Angel couldn't see any injuries on her chest area. "Buffy!" Angel slid to the floor beside her and held up her head, but her eyes remained closed. "O God! Buffy!" No response. Angel leaned in and pressed his ear to her mouth. She wasn't breathing. "Giles! We need to get her to a hospital!" Angel lifted Buffy into his arms and ran towards the exit of the building. Tears began to stream freely down his cheeks as he stared at his battered love. "Please wake up Buffy. Please don't die…"

Part VI

The mood in the emergency waiting room was somber. Xander, Willow, Giles, and Anya sat together, providing each other with silent comfort. Only Angel had been aloud into Buffy's room, and that was because he lied and told the nurse that he was her husband. For more than three hours, the group heard nothing about Buffy's condition, and they hadn't been let in to see her.

Finally, a doctor walked in carrying a chart; he didn't look happy.

"What happened? Is she OK?" Willow stood and walked towards the doctor, her arms crossed over her chest protectively.

"Your friend isn't in good shape."

Before he could explain her condition, Xander stepped in; "I want to see her."

"I don't think that's such a good idea," the doctor frowned at him.

"Frankly," Giles stood, "I don't really care what you think. We all would like to see her."

"Alright," the doctor submitted. "But you aren't going to like what you see."

The group, led by the doctor, walked down the hallway of the emergency ward. Xander grabbed Anya's hand and Willow leaned on Giles for support. After following a passage of winding hallways, they stopped in front of a surgical recovery room. Slowly, the doctor pulled apart the curtains to allow the group to see in. "I don't think it would be wise to go in just yet." The four looked though the window and saw Buffy lying in a hospital bed hooked up to various life support machines. She had had a tracheotomy (a tube attached to a hole in her throat that's attached to a machine that sends Oxygen to her lungs.), and another machine was monitoring her heart rate. Her face was pale and littered with bruises and she had a thick, white bandage around her forehead. Her left arm was held in a cast and lay by her side. Angel was sitting beside her, holding her hand and whispering something they couldn't hear. His face was red, and his eyes swollen from crying.

"Is she going to be Ok?" Willow broke the silence.

"It's too soon to tell," the doctor opened her chart. "She's been through quite the beating. When we got to her, her body was effectively shutting down-so it was difficult to revive her."

"So," Xander swallowed, "What's wrong with her?"

"Well. She had a ruptured spleen, some broken ribs, a bad fracture of her humorous (bone going from her shoulder to her elbow), and a nasty concussion-all of which, we were able to correct. Unfortunately, one of her fractured ribs was pushed into unnatural angle, and punctured her aorta. Although the internal bleeding was severe, were able to fix the damage to the heart with few problems. We thought she was out of the woods, but there were complications."

"What do you mean?" Willow sniffled, trying to hold back tears.

"Because of the clotting proteins we had to use to stop the internal bleeding, and sew up the punctured aorta, she suffered a PE."

"A what?" Xander too began to tear up. "Sorry, I don't speak doctor."

"A pulmonary embolism. There was a blood clot blocking the entrance to her pulmonary artery, which sends blood to her lungs. Because of it, her left lung collapsed. We went in and were able to remove the clot, and we re-inflated her lung-I only hope we were fast enough. We'll know within the next few hours."

"So, there's a chance she might not." Willow couldn't even finish the sentence. Her head fell to her hands and her body shook with her sobs. Xander walked over and enveloped her in his arms. "Shh." he tried to comfort her. "It's Ok. Buffy will be Ok. She's strong Will; she won't end up like Faith. She won't," he tried to convince himself.

Giles took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I can't believe this is happening." he turned away from them for a moment. Without warning he whipped back around, yelled something incomprehensible and threw some equipment off an undeserving medical cart. Needles, gauze, and Band-Aids scattered around the hallway like a startled flock of pigeons.

"Dammit!" he yelled.

"Giles," Willow pleaded. "We're all upset. Please calm down. You're scaring me." He took a moment to catch his breath before turning back to the window. Angel was still hovered over Buffy's bedside and continued to whisper to her. "I don't know how he's going to leave again-after seeing her like this. He saved her. He saved all of us."

"It's not the first time," Willow agreed. "Poor Angel. Every time he's around her disaster seems to strike," she looked through the window. Angel was gently kissing Buffy's forehead.

"It's sad," Xander agreed.

Willow waited for the inevitable sarcastic comment; it never came. For once, Xander felt genuinely sorry for the two star-crossed lovers.

"Let's leave him alone with her for a while. We can go get some coffee," Willow pulled Xander off down the hallway, and Giles and Anya followed closely behind them.

* * *

".I remember the first time I saw you," Angel sat by Buffy's bad and was gently rubbing her hand. "I remember being able to see the person that you were going to become; the Buffy I love more than life itself. Those strong feelings were with me even then. It was strange to me, to have lived for so long and never felt love. I thought I had, but after seeing you that day, I realized I was wrong."

Buffy sighed, seemingly peaceful.

"I remember our first meeting in that alley way. I was terrified of you; I wonder if you knew," Angel smiled for a moment. "My back was sore for a week after that. I was surprised at how strong you were-I mean, you left high heel shoe marks in my back."

Buffy sighed again.

"So much has happened since then. So much for me to be sorry for. And I am sorry. I hope you know that," he paused for a moment as he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it gently, before laying it gently back on the bed.

"I remember," he continued, "when you found out who I was, what I was, and that first kiss in your bedroom that night. I was lost to you even then. When I lost control and the true me came out, I was afraid. I was afraid of myself and that I might hurt you. I couldn't stand that. That look of betrayal on your face when you saw who I really was destroyed me. My heart broke, I could've died right there," he began to cry. He made a feeble attempt to wipe the tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand.

"The next night, at the Bronze, it was my intention to say goodbye; I was going to leave Sunnydale. As soon as I saw you walk towards me, I knew I wouldn't be going anywhere. To hold you in my arms, if even for a little while, was exquisite torture-I know we could never be together, and yet I still held you. I still have a scar from that night; the cross you were wearing left a burn imprint on my chest, but I still refused to let you go," he resumed brushing hair away from her eyes. "I still do. No matter how hard I try to leave, somehow I always end up back here with you-and you always end up getting hurt. That's why I have to go. And that's why I can't come back," looked at her face-hoping to see some sign of life-there was none. She slept peacefully, her chest rising and falling in a rhythmic fashion. Angel decided to stay with her a little while longer. He couldn't say goodbye just yet.

"Remember that night-on your birthday? With the judge? I never could have left you, not then. That ring I gave to you-my mother gave it to me when I turned twenty so long ago. She told me to save it and give it to my true love. It took me 241 years to find her, but I did. The night-at my apartment," he paused, "I was scared. I was afraid you would regret was we were going to do. That's why I hesitated. And I was right. You did regret it. But before I . changed . and I was lying beside you-I'd never been so happy. I remember wishing you'd wake up, so I could whisper that I loved you and kiss you gently; but seeing your peaceful sleep, wishing that you slept a little longer. And them after-I don't even want to think about it. To think about what you must've gone through. In those months. And having to kill me-I hope it was easy for you. I hope it didn't cause you any pain. You have to know you did the right thing."

He paused for a moment, and leaned in and kissed her forehead gently and pulled the blanket up closer to her chin to make sure she stayed warm.

"While I was in purgatory, the first few hundred years thoughts of you were all that kept me sane. I could hear your voice in my head and I could see you smile at me. Eventually, I forgot everything-my name, who and what I was, and where I had been. But, I still remembered you. I remembered exactly what you looked like, the smell of you hair, and the color of your eyes. You were always with me, my guardian angel.

"I don't know why I'm telling you all this. You probably can't even hear me, but sitting and talking to you provides some small comfort.

"Please Buffy. you have to wake up. Giles and everyone really need you. I need you." When she didn't respond, he continued to whisper to her.

"Do you remember Christmas last year? You saved my life that night. I had been driven to the point of insanity, and again, you were all that kept me from it. If you leave me now, who will keep me from going crazy? There is nothing left for me in this world without you-without your love. You told me that you loved me, and that you couldn't stand to see me go. My feelings for you are the same. If you leave me, my life on earth is meaningless."

Angel paused for a moment and let go of her hand. He stood and paced her hospital room for a minute before stopping on the other side of the bed. This time, he lay down beside her, being careful not to disturb any tubes. He took her hand in his and pressed it against his cheek. "That Christmas wasn't the only time you've saved me. You've saved my life, mentally and physically, more times than I can remember. And when Faith," he paused. He hated thinking about the sacrifice Buffy had made for him that day. "When she tried to kill me, you were right there. And you were willing to sacrifice your own life to save me. I didn't want you to do it. I just wanted to give up; I wanted to die in your arms, but you wouldn't let me. I still feel guilty about that. I know you'd tell me that I shouldn't, but I can't help it. The idea that I put you in danger, makes my heart stop. Or it would if my heart was still beating. I remember running to the hospital with you in my arms, just like tonight, and I couldn't give you your life back. After all you'd given me-I couldn't grant you your life. I desperately wanted to, just like today. "Well, I've put you in danger for the last time. This is my last goodbye. I hope you can hear this. If you can, know that I will always be with you in spirit, and know that I will never love anyone else. I couldn't. Now you better wake up and get better soon," he sniffled. "Everyone's depending on you." He stood from her bed and looked at her one last time. He leaned in and gently kissed her, "I love you. Always," he brushed some stray hairs away from her face. "Keep fighting the good fight."

He turned and walked to the door, "Goodbye Buffy." As he opened the door, he heard an almost inaudible groan. He whipped around to see Buffy's eyes fluttering open.

"Buffy!" he ran over to her bed. She looked up at him , her eyes filled with terror. "You're going to be Ok Buffy."

"Somebody get a doctor in here!" he called out the door.

Buffy began to pull at the tube coming out of her throat. "Don't, baby. It's helping you breathe.

She nodded at him.

All at once, a doctor, some nurses, Willow, Xander, Giles, and Anya came running in. Buffy didn't seem to notice. She grasped Angel's hand and let herself drift into his eyes. The doctor finally pulled her from her reverie.

"Miss Summers, it's good to see you awake. You had us all rather worried."

"Yea," Willow ran in front of Angel. "You did amazing Buffy! And you should've seen Angel!

He wailed on that dem.biker guy for hurting you! It was absolutely the most romantic thing I've ever seen and." Realizing that the room was full of people, and that Angel was one of them, she stopped herself. "And I'll just be shutting up now."

"Buffy smiled at her, Before turning back to Angel and mouthing, "Thank-you."

Part 6B

"How are you feeling?" Giles questioned. Angel had gone outside to speak to Buffy's doctor, leaving the Scooby core alone with Buffy.

She gave Giles a thumbs down sign, indicating that she wasn't feeling well. She then waved her right hand over the places that seemed to hurt: head, chest, left arm, stomach, both legs, back, although she couldn't indicate the back part.

"Well it's good to see you haven't lost your sense of humor."

Buffy shook her head as if to say, "I'm not kidding."

"Oh. Well then, that's awful.

Willow stepped in front of Giles; "Do you want me to get you a doctor? Some happy painkillers perhaps?"

She shook her head again and pointed out the door to where Angel was talking to her doctor.

"You want to talk to Angel?" Willow followed Buffy's finger.

She nodded.

"Let's wait until he's finished scowling at the doctor evil (the doctor had a scar over his left eye as per Austin Powers' Doctor Evil)," Xander finally spoke. "We all want to talk to you too."

She smiled.

"Do you want to know what happened?" Willow seemed almost too eager to tell the story of how Angel went all-"ROAR! You hurt my precious Buffy! You must DIE!" and wailed on the Cool Demon #2.

Buffy smiled and nodded.

Xander laughed at Willow's enthusiasm. She jumped onto Buffy's bed, ignoring the machines and tubes, and grasped her hand. "Well, after you . went down, Angel went all, you know. GRR," she put her hands up like claws.

Buffy raised her eyebrows.

"Well not GRR like GRR," she made the gesture again. "GRR like." she put her two pointer fingers over her incisors. "GRR!!!"

Buffy nodded.

"Anywho, he jumped on its back," she was up on her knees now, and almost jumping up and down with excitement. "And POW! He lobbed of that thing's head like Ken Griffy Jr. at a baseball game."

"Who?" Giles wondered.

"American baseball is lost to you Brits huh?" Xander asked.

"Apparently," he scratched his head.

"Anyway, the demon went poof. only not. and Angel carried you all the way here!"

Buffy smiled-again. Her smile turned to a frown as she gestured to the tube coming out of her throat.

"You want that out huh?" Xander asked.

She nodded, a pained look on her face.

"I think you should wait until the doctor says it's alright," Giles patted her on the shoulder.

Always the sensible one. "Anyway, you must be tired Buffy."

She nodded.

"Well then-we'll be going, but we'll just be in the hall if you need us," the group turned and slowly retreated from the room. The last one out the door, Willow turned back to face her injured friend.

"Do you want someone to stay in here with you?" she meant herself of course.

Apparently, Buffy didn't get it. She pointed at Angel who was still outside with the doctor.

"Oh. You want Angel."

She nodded.

"Ok. I'll get him," visibly hurt, Willow headed for the hallway; a grunt coming from the bed stopped her. "What is it Buffy?" she asked.

Buffy motioned for Willow to come back to the bed. She walked slowly towards the bed, a puzzled look on her face.

"What?"

Buffy smiled and reached for Willow. She enveloped her in a hug as fierce as she could muster in her condition. After a moment, she let go. Willow smiled down at her. Buffy pointed to herself, made a heart shape with her hands, then pointed to her best friend.

This time, it was Willow's turn to smile, "I love you too. I'll go get Angel," she messed up Buffy's hair. "Too bad you didn't see him Buffy. He ran the whole way here with you in his arms and he hasn't left your side once in four hours."

Buffy actually grinned at this. She licked her lips and mouthed, "I know."

* * *

"How are you feeling?" Angel looked at his shoes, attempting to perhaps count the floor tiles. Realizing that she could speak to him, he looked up at her and her response was a simple smile. "You aren't in any pain?" he questioned.

Buffy thought about this for a moment. Finally , she brought her hands up to her throat and pretended to choke herself.

Angel laughed. To Buffy, it sounded like harp music. In the four years they known and loved each other, he'd hardly ever laughed.

"So-Willow said you wanted me to stay in here with you tonight," he sat in the chair beside her bed.

She nodded.

"Well, I'd like to, but the sun'll be up soon, and I wouldn't want you waking up next to a big pile of dust."

Buffy shook her head and pointed to the window. Lucky for them, the room had been adorned with extra heavy drapes to block out sunlight.

"Right. We can close the drapes."

She smiled again and pretended to clap her hands as if to say, "Why of course, you super genius you."

He walked to the window and looked down onto the street. The street lamps cast eerie circles on the pavement, and a lonely crow cawed from the edge of one of the pools. Slowly, he closed the blinds; he was so tired of the darkness. He turned back to face Buffy, who was motioning to a pad of paper and a pen on the table by her bed. Angel walked over and passed it to her. He waited a minute as she used her shaky hand to write him a message. When she was finished, she passed the pad to him to read.

Her message read, "Thank you for staying with me. I couldn't go through this without you."

"You're welcome. I wouldn't leave you alone tonight," he paused and grabbed her hand. "But Buffy, after tonight, after you get well again, I have to go back to LA. I can't stay here."

She took the pad and began to write again. "Please don't. I don't want you to go," she handed him the pad and her eyes filled up with tears.

"Oh Buffy, I have to go."

She mouthed, "Why?"

"Because. It's too hard for me to be around you. Every time I am-you end up getting hurt."

Buffy ripped the pad from his hands, her anger giving her back her strength. She wrote, "Put me in danger?! You saved my life today! If you hadn't been there, the world would be over run with seven headed snakes!"

"Still," he read the pad, "most of the time, you end up getting hurt because of me. Even when I was human, and especially when we slept together for the first time."

"I never regretted that! Never!" she wrote and held the pad out for him to see.

"But-I almost killed you."

She wrote, "I don't care! I loved you more than life. I still do. I don't want you to go. You can't leave me again."

"But Buffy think! The friends thing didn't work, and I can't give you anything a normal girl would want."

"I'm not a normal girl. And I don't want to be," she wrote and looked at him. If she could just convince him to stay until after noon, he'd be mortal, and he'd have to stay forever... or so she hoped. "I could hear you talking to me. while I was asleep. It was this commanding voice in my head. And when you were going to leave, I forced myself to wake up. I couldn't let you leave me again. I've been miserable without you. Please don't go," she pressed her lips together and wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

"I'm sorry, Buffy. I have to go. I'll stay with you for tonight, but just tonight. I'm going back to LA in the morning."

Buffy's lip began to quiver, and her eyes filled up the tears. She sniffled and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm so sorry," Angel sighed and walked the few feet to the bed. He reached out to touch her, and as soon as his cold hands touched hers, she began to sob, her tears flowing down her skin like a tortured river. "Please don't cry," he sat down beside her. Buffy reached for him and he enveloped her in his strong arms. She lay her on his chest, "Shh." he rubbed her shoulders and kissed her forehead

"I love you," she wrote almost illegibly, due to her fatigue.

"I know, baby. I love you too," Angel replied. He gently kissed her and she tried to wrap her arms around him, but was unable to due to the countless tubes protruding from her arms. Her inability to even hold him, made her cry even harder.

Angel stayed with Buffy, rubbing her back until she stopped crying, and eventually fell asleep. He gently moved her from her seat on his lap, to a comfortable fetal position on the bed. Hcurled up next to her, pulled her into his arms, and whispered words of love as she slept peacefully.

Part 7

At one o'clock the next afternoon, Buffy and Angel were still asleep. His arms were wrapped protectively around her, and the machines hummed and beeped continuously in the background. A nurse walked through the waiting room where Willow, Giles, Anya and Xander were still sleeping; it had been a long night. She carried a tray with a glass of water and some vials of painkillers and other medications into Buffy's room. She glanced at the bed and noticed the two sleeping lovers. Electing not to disturb them, she smiled and walked past the bed.

A single band of sunlight came through the space between the curtains and made a line across the floor, approaching the bed at a dangerous pace. The nurse put the tray of medication beside the bed and walked to the window. Thinking that the young woman would like to wake up to the sun shining and the birds singing, 'the hills are alive type thing,' and not knowing Angel's condition, she pulled open the drapes. Instantly, the room was alive with bright sunshine. Two birds sat singing on a nearby tree branch, and a gentle breeze tossed the leaves back and forth. The nurse opened the window and took a deep breath. After a moment, she turned and retreated from the room, leaving the couple sleeping soundly on the bed.

A few minutes later, Angel awoke from his peaceful sleep in Buffy's arms. He felt wonderful. Something was warming his face and his skin tingled with life. Slowly, so not to disturb his sleeping love, he slowly stretched his arms above his head and opened his eyes. As soon as he saw the sunshine lighting the room, he threw himself from the bed and covered his face with his hands, attempting to shield himself from the sun. For some reason, he wasn't a big pile of dust. The sun was shining directly on him, and it wasn't affecting him at all; in fact, it felt wonderful. He took a moment to look out the window into the sunshine.

"Rmmm." Buffy groaned from the bed. She awoke and discovered that Angel was no longer lying beside her. "Rmmm," she groaned again and searched the room frantically for him. Finally, she noticed him standing in front of the window.

"Buffy?" he turned around.

She smiled.

"Look at me. I'm human. I'm alive." he spoke in wonder as he moved his hand up and down, studying the patterns the rays light made on his skin.

She nodded, the smile not leaving her face.

"You knew this was going to happen? But. wait.how? Why? The oracles. and you? You had something to do with this didn't you?"

She nodded proudly and pretended to pat herself on the back.

"Buffy," he walked over to the bed, "How did this happen?" he gestured to himself and the light surrounding him.

Buffy reached over and grabbed the pad of paper and pen from the bedside table. "I kinda helped. Actually." Before she could write anymore, the nurse reentered the room.

"It's good to see you awake this bright morning Ms. Summers. Your husband was really quite worried about you," she gestured towards Angel before glancing down at the chart she was holding.

Buffy glared at Angel. His hands were suddenly in his pockets and he was staring at the floor. She raised her eyebrows and tried to look angry, but his "puppy face" couldn't keep her scowling for long. She smiled at him turned back to the nurse.

"Well," the nurse continued, "I can take that tube out now, if you're ready."

Buffy nodded fiercely. She'd been waiting to get the tube out ever since she'd woken up yesterday.

"Alright. But you can't talk for a while. You can only whisper Ok?"

Buffy nodded again.

"I want you to take a deep breath in and then exhale slowly," the nurse walked to the bed and unhooked the tube from the machine that stood just to the right of the bed. Buffy took a deep breath and as she exhaled, the nurse gently pulled the tube from her throat. Buffy began to cough violently, and Angel was instantly at her side.

"Are you alright?" he put his hand on her shoulder protectively.

"Yea," she spoke for the first time since yesterday.

"Now remember what I said," the nurse stepped between them. "Only whispering," she patted Buffy's hand and smiled. "I have some medication to give you, but it can wait. It looked like you two were about to get into quite the discussion before I came in.," she turned and headed for the door. "I'll be back in a few minutes to administer your morphine."

As soon as the nurse left, Angel sat down on Buffy's bed and grasped her hand. Before he could say though, Buffy spoke first: "Husband?"

"Well," Angel nodded sheephisly. "It was the only way they'd let me stay with you. I couldn't stand not being with you when I knew you were in pain. Sorry," he bent down and kissed her hand.

"Good excuse," Buffy smiled. His gesture, although it was technically lying, touched her.

"But back to me being human." Angel lifted his head and looked at her. "What were you going to say about being involved."

"Well ummm." she thought for a moment before explaining. "When I saw you at Giles' and we almost. well." she struggled to articulate her feelings. "When you stopped me from. at first I thought you didn't want me anymore. But after a while, I realized that it was because you cared about me too much to let me get hurt again. When I went to your old place, I kinda did a little soul searching, well actually, Faith kinda did it for me."

"Faith?" he interrupted her.

"Long story. Anyway, I realized that I was willing to be hurt, just to be with you. Any pain I endure because of our relationship can't compare, in a billion years, to how wonderful I feel when we're together."

Angel looked like he was about to interrupt , but she stopped him.

"And I know you don't understand."

"But Buffy," he put his hand on her cheek and she leaned into him, indulging for a moment. "I do understand, I mean, I feel the same way. But, in a few years, you'll want a family and you'll regret staying with me. And, you'll regret not."

She didn't let him finish. "Shut up!" she yelled. Her hands flew to her throat in pain.

"Are you alright Buffy? Are you hurt?" Angel put his hand on her shoulder.

"Stop asking me that!" she shook his hand from her shoulder. "I don't need you to come running to me every time I'm in pain."

Angel's face fell; her comment hurt him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It's just, whenever I'm in any physical danger you're the first to come running. But when I need you the most, when I need you to hug me, or rub my back, or just talk to me, you're never there," she calmed down a little. "That's why I did it."

"I don't understand," Angel looked puzzled. "What exactly did you do?"

"I ran off to see the Oracles. I begged them to make you mortal again. One of them-the guy, didn't want to do it, but the girl, she felt sorry for me, so she granted my wish."

"So," Angel stood and looked out the window into the sunshine. After a moment he turned to face her again. "You went to the Oracles and they made me mortal?"

She nodded, "Basically."

"And you did all this without even asking me?"

Buffy looked into her lap. "Yea," she thought for a moment. "I guess I did."

Angel didn't respond to her admission. The room was suddenly silent, and both felt rather uncomfortable. Finally, Angel spoke: " How could you do that? How could you do that without asking me?"

Buffy's chin began to quiver. Angel had never looked at her the way he was looking at her now. He looked truly angry: his eyes were dark and worry lines creased his forehead. It scared her.

"I'm sorry Angel, I." she paused and looked down into her lap. After a moment, she looked up at him. This time, it was she who looked angry. She quickly wiped a stray tear from her cheek.

"How can you be angry with me? How many decisions have you made without me. You never ask me what I want or what I need. It's always 'This is what's best for you Buffy,' or 'you'll thank me in a few years Buffy.' God Angel. Don't you think I'd like some say in my future. I think I know what's best for me. My feelings don't matter?"

"This is different," he still looked angry.

"No it's not," she interrupted him. "When you left me, you just left. You never even bothered to ask me how I felt about the whole thing. And again, you went to the Oracles and asked them to change you back, without even telling me. When I realized that our relationship was truly over, my heart broke into a million pieces. My body shut down. It felt like half my soul just decided to pack up and leave. I wasn't even a whole person anymore. I'd rather die, than have to feel that again. Those last moments in your arms, I was so angry with you, but I didn't have the strength to show it. If you had told me what you were going to do before hand, I wouldn't have let you go. We would have figured something out; I know we would have. But you didn't even tell me! So don't you dare get angry with me for doing this behind your back, because trust me Angel," she spat his name, "I've been on the receiving end many more times than you!"

Finished her speech, Buffy was breathless, and Angel was completely stunned. He had no idea how to respond. "Buffy I." he sat down again beside her and his frown of anger turned to one of worry. "I'm sorry. I had no idea. I." he looked into her eyes; they were bright with tears. "You shouldn't be getting so worked up," his thumb traced her cheek bone, wiping away a tear. "I know you want me to be your perfect 'normal boyfriend' but if it's going to cost you your life, or your future, then I can't do that. I can't be that perfect guy. And-I have to make that decision without you."

"Angel?" she sobbed, seeming to accept his answer.

He smiled sadly at her.

"What if, what if I could give you back your strength, so you could fight demons with me?"

Angel sighed and kissed her forehead gently, "If only."

"Yea. If only," she whispered.

Part 8

Willow suddenly burst though the door. She had been watching Buffy and Angel through the window, not wanting to interrupt, but as they drew closer to each other, she felt it was necessary.

"Buffy!"

Buffy pulled away from Angel slowly. "What?" she sniffled, looking at Willow.

"I need to talk to you," she glanced at Angel, "Alone."

"I'll just um. wait outside." Angel let go of Buffy's hand and looked at her sadly. "I be back later, okay? I still need to talk to you. to say goodbye."

Buffy bit her lip and hung her head. "Alright," she managed to choke out.

Angel walked out the door and turned to face her before she left. He paused, as if he was about to say something; he opened his mouth, but could find no words that would express his sorrow. He sighed and retreated from the room.

"What's up Will?" Buffy whispered.

"I um," she paused, not certain as to how to bring up her worries. "It's about Angel."

"What about him?" Buffy questioned.

"He's not good for you," she blurted. "Don't get me wrong, I love Angel, and I. we all want you to be happy," she gestured out the window to where Giles, Xander and Anya were still sitting. "But it's not worth getting hurt again."

"But."

"No Buffy, listen to me," she interrupted. "It's just going to end badly again. And then you'll get hurt and it gets worse every time it happens. I don't want you to get hurt," she finished her speech softly and sat down in the chair next to Buffy's bed.

"Uh Will," Buffy smiled at her friend. "I appreciate your concern for my well-being but, well, did you happen to notice anything. different about Angel?"

"What do you mean?" she questioned.

"The window's open," Buffy whispered.

"So?" she looked confused. "I don't get it," she stopped and thought for a moment. "What does that have to do with anythi. Ohmigod! Angel's alive? How? I don't get it. How? Why? How?" Willow's chin dropped as she stared at her friend, who hadn't stopped smiling.

"I went to see the oracles. They granted me my wish."

"Wow. I'm sorry. I had no idea."

"It's Ok. Everyone has been making my decisions for me lately. I'm used to it," Buffy sighed.

"I said I was sorry," Willow pouted in response to her best friend's comment.

"It's alright."

"So, he's going to stay with you?" she smiled happily.

"I. no. He's leaving soon, going back to LA."

"Why?" she frowned. "I don't understand. You two have been looking for a way to be together for as long as I can remember. or for 3 years. Why would he give up that chance?"

"He decided that because as a mortal he couldn't help me fight along side me, he'd blame himself if I got hurt-so he can't stay," she bit her lip and fumbled with a stray piece of hair hanging in front of her face.

"But Buffy," Willow's brow wrinkled in concentration. "He'd blame himself anyway. I mean, if there was a battle and he was there fighting with you, and you got hurt, he'd blame himself. What's the difference?"

"I don't know. It's Angel logic. I don't get it either," she paused. "But, there may be a way to change his mind; there may be a way to give me reason to stay with me."

"I don't understand," she frowned.

"Riley-he told me that the initiative makes their soldiers really strong and really fast, by mixing their DNA with that of a particularly strong demon. I mean, he's normal and all, he's just a really good fighter. Well," she paused and smiled. "Not as good as me."

"Oh," Willow understood. "I see what you're getting at."

"Yea. I want to make Angel like Riley. Only, not so pathetic, and dull, and boring, and not such a momma's boy girlie man."

"I get the idea," Willow interrupted.

"Anyway, then he could help me fight. We can fight demons together, like Batman and Catwoman, or Mulder and Scully, or Bonnie and Cletus."

"I think you mean Clyde," she interrupted again. "And they robbed banks."

"Well whatever. You know what I mean. It's just, I need him Will. I'm stronger when he's around. And when he's not, it's like a piece of me is missing, and little by little, what's left of me gets smaller and smaller until there's nothing left at all. And then I'm not even a person anymore. I'm just this hole and." she stopped. I'm sure you get the idea."

"Yea," Willow answered, thinking of Oz. "I totally understand the 'hole' thing. I've visited that scary country."

"Well, I've kind of been living their, Will. I've skipped right from tourist to permanent resident.

The point is, we have a chance to be together, and I'm taking it. But," she thought for a moment, "I need your help."

"Sure," Willow smiled at her friend. "Anything." Willow wanted Buffy to be happy; if that meant getting Angel back, then that's what she'd do.

"I need you to find Riley and bring him here. He'll have to convince professor Walsh that Angel would make a good commando."

Willow nodded. "That I can do," she stood and walked to the door.

"Willow?" Buffy stopped her.

"Yea?" she turned around.

"Hurry Ok. We only have a day to do this. If we don't make it," she shuddered at the thought. "Angel will be turned back into a vampire. And I'll lose him again," she bit her lip.

"That's not going to happen," she smiled.

"Thanks Will."

"I'll be back as soon as I can," Willow turned and walked quickly out the door, leaving Buffy alone for the first time since her arrival at the hospital.

Buffy curled up into partial fetal position, being careful not to disturb the tubes coming out from her arms. She closed her eyes and tried to drift off to sleep-her thoughts on Angel. "Please." she whispered. "Please don't let him leave me again." The last things she thought of before drifting into nothingness, were the feeling of Angel's arms around her, and the sound of his voice whispering in her ear; she would hear it again.

* * *

"Riley?" Willow knocked on the door to his room and peeked her head through.

"Hey Willow," he stood up. "Come in."

"Thanks," she walked in and closed the door behind her.

"Can I help you with something?" he walked over to her.

"Yes actually. I have a favor to ask."

"I can do favors. Except on Sunday mornings, because I have to go to church."

"Oh. of course." Willow frowned, puzzled by his comment.

"What can I do for you?"

"Actually, it's not for me. It's for Buffy."

"Oh," Riley paused, getting an 'I'm no longer a resident of the planet earth' look in his eyes. "Isn't Buffy lukewarm?" he sighed and smiled sweetly.

"Um yea, whatever." Willow looked puzzled some-more. "Anyway, she wanted me to come and get you. She needs your help with something."

"Ok sure," he grabbed his freshly ironed Gore Tex coat from the closet. "I'd do anything for Buffy. Except on Sundays. I can't miss church."

"Holy crap--what a loser," Willow muttered under her breath.

"Pardon me?"

"Nothing."

"So," he headed for the door. "Where are we going?"

"To the hospital actually."

"Eeeeeekkkk!!!" he let out a girlie scream. "What's wrong? Is my Buffy Ok?"

"Yea," Willow giggled. "She'll be alright."

"What happened?"

"Long story. I'm sure Buffy will fill you in."

"Ok."

The two were about to leave, when Willow remembered something important. "Oh and Riley?"

"Yupskies?"

"Yupskies? Oh god," she spoke under her breath. "She asked that you bring Professor Walsh along. It's important."

"Mommy? Why would. I mean," realizing his slip, he paused and corrected himself. "Why would Buffy want to see Professor Walsh?"

"I'm not at liberty to say," she did her best armyboy impression. "Something to do with the Initiative. She'll fill you in when you get there."

"Okie-dokey. I'm sure I can get mom-Prof., Walsh to come along."

"Great," Willow let out a sigh of relief. Everything was going according to plan.

"Hey Willow?" the two began to walk quickly down the hall.

"Yea?"

"Did Buffy tell you the story about me winning the Best Butter Churner and the Fastest Grain Harvester Awards in the same Pumpkin Festival back in Iowa?"

"No," Willow struggled to keep a straight face.

"Well," he began. "It all started back when I was a wee lad of four years old. For Christmas that year, my dad bought me my first cow, and naturally, I named her tiger. Tiger the cow. Anyway, Tiger's milk was great for making butter so it was really easy for me. Every morning at four am, dad would pull me out of bed and we'd throw on our overalls and head out to the cattle pasture. The cattle pasture was my favorite place to hang out because.." And he went on. and on. and on.

"God help me," Willow muttered.

* * *

"Agent Finn?" Professor Walsh walked with Willow and Riley in the direction of Sunnydale Hospital.

"Yes Ma'am?" he did a lame looking military salute.

"What exactly is going on here? I was engaged in rather important business when I was so rudely interrupted."

"I'm not sure yet, ma'am. Buffy will explain when we get there," he hopped down the sidewalk, happy that he was going to see his wonderful girlfriend. "I'm sure she has a good reason for calling us here,"

Willow winced as Riley continued to hop-scotch down the sidewalk in front of them. "Is he always like this?" she turned to Prof. Walsh.

"No. He used to be my baby G. I. Joe." realizing what she had just said, she cleared her throat and quickly continued. "Now he's just. giddy. I blame Buffy for this entirely; she's warped his programming. I mean his mind."

"Programming?" 'Ok, don't ask,' she thought. 'Riley is not important.' "Nevermind."

The three walked off down the sidewalk; Well, to be accurate, Willow and Professor Walsh walked. Riley seemed to prefer skipping.

* * *

"Good afternoon."

Buffy's eyes slowly opened and Giles and the nurse were hovering over her.

"You had quite a nap," Giles patted her on the head and sounded like her father.

"I was tired," she smiled weakly.

"Yea," the nurse passed her a glass of water and several pills. "I told you not to yell."

"Sorry," Buffy whispered between swallows. "I couldn't help it."

"It's Ok. Just try not to do it again. You could damage your trachea," the nurse warned.

She nodded.

"But otherwise, you're feeling better?"

"Yep. You bet. In fact, I could probably go home tomorrow."

"Miss Summers," the nurse smiled, "You have just undergone extremely invasive surgery. I don't think you'll be going anywhere for a while yet."

"But," she protested.

"No Buffy. I'm not letting you out of here if you're going to get hurt again. You can stay here until the doctor says it's alright for you to leave."

Buffy pouted. She crossed her arms over her chest and stuck her bottom lip out as far as she could.

"You can make that face for as long as you like, but you're not getting out of that bed until the doctor tells you to," he shook his finger at her and spoke in his most authoritative British fashion.

"Okay," Buffy recognized Giles' resolve face and knew not to object further.

"Enough conversation," the nurse would've ended her protests if Buffy hadn't. "I have to give you your meds." It took about twenty minutes. Buffy was poked and prodded in every possible place, and she was forced to swallow several uncomfortably large pills. Afterwards, the nurse replaced the empty bags of medication hanging from the stand by her bed, with fresh full ones. "There. All done," she picked up her tray and strode from the room.

"That was fun," Buffy spoke sarcastically as she gingerly rolled onto her back.

"I need to speak to you for a second," Giles sat down and fumbled with his fingers.

"Sure. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I um. I spoke to Angel."

"Oh," Buffy tried to concentrate on one of the several tubes exiting her arm.

"He told me what happened."

She bit her lip.

"I'm sorry."

She laughed bitterly. "There seems to be a lot of that lately. You know, being sorry. It's like everyone's finding a new and improved way to screw me over."

Giles frowned.

"I'm sorry. see!" she tried to smile. "I a-pol-i-gize," she sounded the word out in syllables. "I'm just upset, and worried, and upset. I said that already didn't I?"

"It's understandable Buffy."

"Yea well," she glared at nothing in particular.

"Um. Angel told me to tell you that he'd be back later," he reached out and grasped her hand, "To say goodbye."

"I know. I mean he told me. I just. I don't want him to."

Their conversation was halted by the entrance of Riley, Willow and Professor Walsh.

"Hello my sweet!!" Riley bounced over to the bed making a fish-like kissey face. "My, how I've missed you!"

Part 9

"Hey, Riley," Buffy greeted him with a false grin.

He ran over to her and leaned in to kiss her. Buffy quickly turned her head, and he missed and got her cheek instead.

For a moment, he looked disappointed, but quickly brightened again and began bombarding her with countless questions: " How are you? How did you get here? What happened? Did it hurt? Was there a lot of blood? Did your tummy ache? Does hospital food taste good?" and lastly, "Can I have your creamed corn?"

Once she had answered some-most assuredly not all, of Riley's questions, she set to convincing Professor Walsh that Angel would make an ideal commando. ". and yes, you may have my creamed corn."

"Miss Summers," Prof. Walsh interrupted Riley's second stream of questions. "I don't mean to be rude, but I have a lot of work to do and I'd like to be out of here by next week-so, why exactly am I here?"

"Well," she took a deep breath. "I called you here because of the initiative, and a guy." she preceded to tell Prof. Walsh and Riley (well mostly Prof. Walsh because Riley was too busy with his creamed corn to pay much attention) about Angel. She didn't tell them that she was in love with him, or about any of their past escapades. She only gave them the information on past experiences that would make Angel an excellent asset to their team.

When she was finished, an awkward silence filled the room. Buffy looked into her lap and rolled a tube, protruding from an angry wound in her left arm, between her fingers.

Finally, Riley broke the silence. Can I have your pudding too?" he indicated to her tray of food that hadn't been touched-except for the missing creamed corn.

Buffy didn't reply; she simply glared.

Riley shrugged his shoulders and picked up the pudding.

"The thing is Miss Summers," Prof. Walsh chose to ignore Riley's behavior. "Our men come to us after years of army training; they know how to take orders and act within army guidelines. This Angel person doesn't have any experience, and as such, I don't think it would be appropriate to."

"Mmmm, chocolate," Riley licked the spoon. The two women ignored him-again.

"But he has other experience. He knows how demons think. He can anticipate their every move. Plus, he's been around for 240 years or so, and he knows his demons; he's practically an expert!"

"True," Walsh pondered this for a moment, "But I don't think it would be right just to let him enlist, however."

Buffy bit her lip. She'd performed the act so frequently in the past week, that her lip began to bleed. She wouldn't give up this easily. "Please. He's already really strong, and he knows how to fight. He'd be an asset to your team. I know he would. he." she said, desperate to find more reasons for Prof. Walsh to give Angel a chance.

"What's going on?" unbeknownst to Buffy and Co., Angel had entered the room and was now standing beside Riley, who now had chocolate pudding all over his face. Angel glared at him, "Who the heck are you?"

"My name is Riley Billy-Bob-Joe Finn. I'm from Iowa. I like to harvest wheat, and milk cows. And eat creamed corn and chocolate pudding."

"Right. Ok." Angel thought he was a mental patient who had gotten lost on the way to the bathroom. Choosing, like everyone else, to ignore him, Angel turned to Professor Walsh. "And you are?"

"Angel," Buffy gingerly sat up. "These people are here to help us."

"What do you mean? What's going on?"

"Dr. Walsh, could I have a moment please?'

She sighed, "Alright, but I have to leave soon so please make it quick," she turned to Riley.

"Come with me, Agent Finn. The two turned and exited the room, leaving Buffy and Angel alone.

"Agent Finn? Who were those people? What's happening?" he looked confused.

Buffy thought for a moment, "I brought them here to help you and I."

"What do you mean?" he sat down beside her on the bed.

"Riley and Professor Walsh are part of a secret operations unit called the Initiative; they fight demons."

"Go on."

"Well, their men are really strong and really fast, because their DNA has been spliced with a demon's. I thought," she stuttered a little. "I thought you could join. Then we could be together."

"Oh Buffy. that's what this has been about all along , hasn't it. This has been the plan since the beginning."

She nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know," she couldn't look him in the face. "I guess I was just worried you'd be really angry with me. and that you wouldn't do it. that you wouldn't want to take the kind of risk just to be with me."

He lifted her chin with his fingers. "I would do anything in power so that I could be with you. I promise."

She pulled away and looked down again.

"Hey," he gently grasped her shoulders. "I love you, always. You know that."

"Then why were you being so stubborn?"

"I just. I couldn't stand to see you get hurt. I worry about you, you know," he took her hand. "When I was without you in LA, I had trouble getting to sleep at night because I couldn't get you out of my head. I was always worried that you were alone, or hurt. It's weird though, sometimes it was like I could feel when you were happy, or sad, or afraid. I missed so terribly. I won't go through that again. I'd do anything to be with you," he repeated, "anything."

"So. you'll?"

"Of course," he took her hand and gently kissed it.

She sighed happily, her heart swelling in her chest. The pain that raced through her entire body, was no match for the tingle of joy she felt. Quickly, she reached for him, and he enveloped her in his arms. He gently rubbed her back and she lay her head on his chest, her arms wrapped around her back, holding him to her. This is where she felt most comfortable; she felt truly loved, and cared for. Angel kissed the top of her head, the rested his chin where his lips has just kissed. They stayed that way for a few minutes, simply listening to each other's heartbeat; they were safe, and happy.

"What are you doing to my girlfriend?"

Angel lifted his head from Buffy, and although she was started to see Riley and Prof. Walsh standing in the room, she made no move to leave Angel's arms.

"Riley," Buffy looked at him sympathetically. "I'm sorry," she looked at Angel, who hadn't stopped smiling. "But, I can't see you anymore"

"What do you mean?" his chin began to quiver and he pouted.

"Well, I love Angel. I've always loved him, and I always will," she looked up at Angel, and he kissed her gently.

"But.But." he fell to his knees and threw his body onto the floor. "It's just not fair!" he began to kick and scream, flailing his arms about like a fish out of water. "Why me? Oh the horror! The horror!"

Buffy tried to be serious, but she failed miserably. First, she cracked a smile, which quickly became a toothy grin, which eventually became hysterical, and uncontrollable laughter. She laughed so hard, that she pulled over the medicine stand, which was connected to the tubes in her arms. "Ha Ha.ow! Ha ha. ow! Laughing is pain. ha.. ow. ha ow. I can't believe. ha ha ow I can't believe I actually liked you! Ha OW!!!!"

"Buffy stop it!" Angel tried to hide his laughter by attempting calm Buffy down. "You're hurting yourself. C'mon," he rubbed her back, "calm down."

After a few moments, she was able to get her breathing under control. Riley, however, continued to kick and scream in the middle of the floor."

"Riley!" Prof. Walsh finally stepped in. "Agent Finn!"

He continued his tantrum.

"Oh for God sakes, be quiet!"

"Wah! It's not fair!" Riley pounded his fists on the floor. After a moment, he slid across the floor and attempted to attach himself to the Professor's ankle.

"Just a moment," glanced at Buffy and Angel before grabbing the doorframe, and pulled her and Riley out of the room. Once the door had been closed behind her, Buffy and Angel could hear yelling and then whining; they ignored it.

Buffy looked up into Angel's eyes, and could see herself reflected in them. He slowly dipped his head in and kissed gently, yet with a promise of passion. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and moaned into his lips. He pulled away quickly.

"Did I hurt you?" he looked concerned.

"No," she smiled. "Definitely not."

"Good," he brushed some stray hairs away from her eyes. "The first thing we're going to do when you get out of here, is go on a picnic and watch the sunset. I've always wanted to see a sunset with you."

Buffy grinned. "Really? That's the first thing you want to do? I had other activities in mind," she looked mishcevious.

Angel laughed at her, before leaning in and kissing her again.

"Uh. I don't mean to interrupt but." Prof. Walsh was standing at the end of the bed.

"Oh. I'm sorry," Buffy reluctantly pulled away from her love. "This is Angel," she gestured to him. "Angel, this is Prof. Walsh."

Angel got up of the bed and walked over to shake her hand.

"Well Miss Summers, it turns out we do have need of a good demon hunter. It seems that Agent Finn is in need of some psychiatric attention."

"Really? That's awesome!!!" she grinned again. "Wait. not the part about Riley visiting the looney bin, the part about Angel joining. Wow! Thank you,"

"Yea," Angel sat back on the bed and grabbed Buffy's hand. "Thank you."

"Well Mr... Wait. What exactly is your last name?"

"I um. I don't have one. You know, like Madonna?"

"Ok.. Agent Angel. that could work."

"When do I start?"

"Tomorrow. We can begin the tests tomorrow." With that organized, Prof. Walsh turned and left the hospital room, leaving the lovers alone again.

"I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe we're actually going to be together," Buffy shook her head in wonder. Angel said nothing; instead, he let out a sigh of relief and leaned in and enveloped her in a giant bear hug. Buffy rested her head on his shoulder, thankful for the times they'd had, and would have in the future.

"Angel?" Buffy broke the thoughtful silence.

"Yes love?"

"I love it when you call me that." she lost her train of thought.

"What? Love?"

"Yea."

"That's what you are. You're my love."

"I know," she sighed happily as he began to trace a pattern of kisses down her neck.

"Angel?"

"Yes?"

"When I get out of here," she paused, "It'll be your turn to play nursemaid. Think you can handle it?"

"Yea," Angel didn't stop kissing her. "I'm up to the challenge."

They rested comfortably in each other's arms for a few hours. No one dared to come in an interrupt their quiet alone time; it was meant to be that way.

Epilogue (1 month later)

"Angel! Behind you!!" Buffy warned Angel of the vampire that had come up behind him.

With almost no effort, Angel spun around and staked the minion.

"That was fun," Angel smiled.

"You," Buffy walked up and poked him in the chest, "are good at what you do."

"I have incentive," he smiled at her before leaning in to kiss her. As the kiss deepened, the two fell, entwined onto the picnic blanket.

"Ow," Angel laughed into her mouth. Buffy pulled away from him for a moment, her desire for him reflected in her eyes. Slowly, she pulled her gaze from his face, and stared down at his chest. Her fingers worked precisely and at agonizingly slow pace to undo the buttons on his shirt."Are you sure you're Ok to do this?"

" I don't know. But I can't wait any longer."

That was enough for Angel. Carefully, he rolled her onto the blanket and showered her face with kisses. She arched her back into him, as he kissed her lips, neck and chest. His gaze never leaving hers, he began to slide his hands up the back of her shirt. Being careful not to bump the scar running down the middle of her chest, he pulled the shirt up over her head.

Seeing Angel look at her scar, Buffy tensed up.

"What is it?" Angel looked concerned.

"Nothing," she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Tell me," he demanded softly.

"It's just. the way you looked at me just then. the way you looked at my scar. I."

Realizing what she was thinking, he placed a finger to her lips. "You're beautiful even with the scar. You're perfect. And." he ran his finger over her stomach and up to her nose, where he stopped. "And, you're my Buffy."

She smiled radiantly. "Always."

Angel leaned down and began to kiss the jagged scar that ran from her stomach to her collar bone. She arched her back into him and ruffled his hair with her hands.

"Angel?" After a moment of indulgence, she lifted his head from her stomach.

"Yea Baby?"

"Promise me that it'll always be like this."

"Like what?"

"I know there are going be battles, but promise me that they'll always end up this way," she gestured to their position on the picnic blanket. "Promise me you'll always stay with me."

Angel rose to his knees. "I'll never leave you. No matter what happens. No matter how many seven headed snakes are in our future, I'll never run away again. I promise."

And with that, the lovers lay together on their blanket, lost in their own little world; together forever. Or- at least until tomorrow, when their next battle began.

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