Hey Everyone *cowers* I know that my last fic was heavy on the angst and I am warning you right now, this one isn't any better! I've worked through my I hate Buffy issues, but this story had to be written. Thank you to all gave feedback (Leonie, your email won't let me send anything to you!) even if a lot of you threatened me. It's okay, I would've threatened me, too. Anyway, on to the story!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I still own Chloe and in the last story I said I own Corbin and there wasn't a Corbin, well I meant Aidan. I changed names and forgot. I also own Shannon. Joss and Co. own the rest of the peoples. Again, the Dixie Chicks own the song, Cold Day in July.
Rating: PG (again, high on the angst!)
Distribution: BA_Fluff, Leonie, B/A Coalition, anyone else, ask and it shall be given.
Thanx: Everyone
Spoilers: Mentions of the entire B/A history.
Author's Note: There is one more sequel and I've just finished it and it's high on the angst as well.
Feedback: Please? Even if you just want to say I hate you.

Angel sat at his desk thinking. It was pretty close to brooding, something he hadn't done in a long time. Buffy had come and he didn't know why. All he knew was that she had gotten out of there as fast as she could after meeting Chloe.

"Angel?" Chloe's voice came from the elevator entrance.

"Hmmm?" he answered.

"What are you doing?" she asked, moving closer to him.

"Thinking," he answered, smiling softly at her.

"Me?" she asked hopefully.

"Always," he answered with a laugh.

"Liar," she teased. He didn't answer. "Tell me about her."

"Who?" he asked surprised.

"Buffy," she answered.

"Buffy," he repeated.

"Mmhmm. Tell me about her," she prodded, "I won't get mad! A gorgeous guy like you, I'm not afraid to hear about your past. You know that."

"Well, my life with Buffy is heavy on the tragic love story," he said.

"Well, you know me, Romeo and Juliet all the way," she teased.

"We could've been, ya know, Romeo and Juliet," he replied, she looked at him questioningly. "When we met I was an incredibly broody vampire with a heavily guilt-laden soul, but you knew that I was. She was the vampire slayer. The one girl in all the world to stop the forces of evil until she died for a minute and there was two. Anyway, I saw her called and I loved her. She was this incredibly shallow blond girl who didn't know a vampire from a clothes rack, but I loved her anyway. By the time we actually spoke to each other she had changed. Gone was the vapid valley girl and she was, she was Buffy. The vampire slayer. And we fell in love. Star-crossed lovers in every sense of the word. We were supposed to be mortal enemies, not lovers."

"There must have been huge obstacles," she said gently, shifting in his lap.

"There were. On her seventeen birthday, we made love. Little did we know, the gypsies who wanted to torture me with a soul had a little clause put in. One moment of true happiness, of contentment and the soul would be sucked right out of me and the demon would run free," he continued.

"She gave it to you, didn't she? True happiness?" she asked.

He nodded. "Angelus, my demon, was let loose and no truer words than all hell broke loose could explain it. He taunted her, tortured her, killed her friends, everything you could possibly think of and more. He was the worst vampire to ever grace the earth with his presence," he said bitterly and then his voice changed to admiration, "but even he couldn't break her. I, well, he tried to open a portal to hell. He was successful and then her friend, Willow, recursed him and I was soulful again. But the portal had to be opened with my blood and closed as well."

"She sent you to hell, didn't she?" Chloe asked gently. He nodded, the tears began to well a little in his eyes.

"She did. And then I came back. We've never really been sure how, but I came back. We tried different arrangements for about a year. Friends, a couple, avoidance, none of them really worked. And then I left for L.A. After she graduated from High School I left and the few meetings we had after that didn't go well. We had very little contact for about a year and then absolutely nothing until I got her wedding invitation. I was honestly happy for her. It was at that moment that I realized that I had finally moved on and I was granted my humanity," he finished.

"And then you met me," she said lightly.

"Right," he answered, smiling.

"You didn't tell her about us, though did you?" she asked.

"I didn't think that she cared any more. I hadn't heard from her in so long, I thought she was completely happy with Austin and I didn't need to wedge myself back in her life," he answered.

"I think you need to go talk to her," she said quietly. He looked at her questioningly, but she just nodded her head lovingly, "Go. Make things right."

"Where did I find you?" he asked lovingly.

"I just popped into the world and you loved me," she teased, pushing him out the door as she kissed him lightly on the cheek.

* * * * *

He found her. It took him a couple of hours, but he finally found her. She was sitting on the beach, watching the waves crash against the shore. He walked quietly and sat down next to her.

"Hey," he said.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Looking for you," he answered, watching the waves.

"Why?" she asked, her voice tinged with the slightest bit of bitterness.

"We need to talk," he answered quietly.

"About?"

"Everything."

"You promised forever," she said bitterly.

"So did you, if you recall," he replied. He understood where her bitterness came from and was trying to be as gentle as he could.

"When?" she spat.

"You still my girl? I believe 'Always' was your answer," he replied, as that bitterness he was trying to avoid crept up on him.

"You left me!" she yelled, standing up.

"I know! Do you know how hard that was on me? I know how hardit was on you because I never stopped hearing the anger in your voice whenever we talked, but it was just as hard on me! Maybe harder, I had to do the leaving. I had to be the strong one, do you know how much that hurt?" he retaliated.

"You wanted to be strong, remember?" she said icily, referring to Christmas.

"Could we not do this? I wanted to make it right, Buffy. Not start World War 3," he sighed.

"What did you want to tell me?" she replied, her voice still hard.

"I still love you. I think I always will," he said quietly.

"But . . . ," she whispered, trying to stop the tears.

"But I love you like I love Shannon," he answered.

"Who's Shannon?" she asked, giving him a look.

"I never told you about Shannon," he muttered

"No. Would this be in the past before me or the past after me?" she asked.

"Before. I was married before I was turned," she look amused at this confession, "I was eighteen. She was my childhood sweetheart. We wanted to have a baby, but she didn't get pregnant and didn't get pregnant for about four years. Then she finally did and we were thrilled. The pregnancy went well, no problems, no complications. And then she went into labor. She died in childbirth, as did our son."

"Why didn't you tell me this?" Buffy whispered.

"I couldn't. My past was, well, my past. It consisted of pain and heartache. Things that I wanted to spare you from because you had enough of it everyday. After she died, I moved home and that's when the drinking began and the disappointment from my father. Then I was turned and you know the rest. I think about it now and I realize that if they hadn't died when they did, I would've killed them. I think their blood on my hands would've been the worst of all, knowing that I had killed my love and my child. Someone was watching out for them and I'm grateful for that," he answered, "But the point is, I will always love Shannon, Buffy. And I will always love you. You will always be a part of me and I can't and won't deny it. But . . . ,"

"You love her," she answered for him, "Chloe." He nodded. "I understand. Go home. To her. She needs you and so does that baby."

"I still love you, Buffy," he whispered as she moved to him, kissing him quickly on the cheek.

"Always," she whispered in his ear. She turned and walked down the beach, letting him go. A few moments later she heard his footsteps leaving. She turned back around to watch him go.

The moon is full my arms are empty
All night long I've pleaded and cried
You always said the day that you would leave me
Would be a cold day in July

Her tears were falling freely now as she watched him go. There were things that she wanted to say, beg him to stay with her, but for the first time in her life she understood exactly how he felt when he let her go.

Your bags are packed not a word is spoken
I guess we said everything with good-bye
Time moves so slow and promises get broken
On this cold day in July

Sun's coming up coming up down Main Street
Children shout as they're running out to play
Head in my hands here I am
Standing in my bare feet
Watching you drive away
Watching you drive away

The were children playing all around her, she watched them. Imagining that one of them was Angel's unborn son and he was playing with him. She couldn't help but wish that it was their child. She heard his car start and he drove away.

You said that we were gonna last forever
You said our love would never die
It feels like spring and
It feels like sunny weather
But it's a cold day in July

Sun's coming up coming up on Main Street
Children shout as they're running out to play
Head in my hands here I am
Watching you drive away
Watching you drive away

The moon is full my arms are empty
All night long how I've pleaded and cried
You always said the day that you would leave me
Would be a cold day in July

Here comes that cold day in July.

"Watching you drive away, watching you drive away," she whispered. "Here comes that cold day in July."

Well? *runs and hides*

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