Hello dahlings, look at this, I finished a new story. It's taken me forever to get this one done, months. It's a challenge repsonse which I'll put in the legal stuff.
Disclaimer: Nope, nadda thing 'cept the story. The title comes from a Bon Jovi song, but is not used in the story.
Rating: PG-13ish
Spoilers: Yeah, there is. Just go with everything to be safe.
Summary: What if Angel had left in Surprise?
Timeline: Begins with Surprise, Angel leaving, continues with the events between A New Man and The I in Team and so forth.
Author's Notes: Here's the challenge, it was issued in August (I think) by Sun Angel, sorry it took so long to get answered, but writer's block. What can you do?
-Set in 2000
-Angel leaves in Surprise, and returns two or so years later.
-He's kept no contact with Sunnydale, so everyone's shocked when he returns.
-The reason he was gone so long was because he ran into some demon business in some foreign country.
-Both B & A still have their claddaugh rings, and Angel still wears his. You can decide if Buffy does.
-Buffy is dating Riley, but they haven't had the big s-e-x. She's stilla virgin, because I think she should give it to Angel *hint, hint*
-Angel goes to Giles first to let his presense be known. The whole gangis there.
-Many confrontations ensue, especially one between A/B and A/R.
-Angel's cell has to ring at an inopportune time.
-Optional: Angel and Buffy try the friends thing, and during a patrol, they attempt to discuss their love lives while they were apart. Doesn't work.
-Angel is more like the Angel we know now. More confident, etc, etc. You could even have a scene where Angel retaliates at Buffy like he did in Sanctuary.
-Optional: Have a flashback or prologue of what happened when Angel left on the docks. They weren't interrupted by Spike's men, so Angel probably confessed his love to Buffy before saying good-bye.
-Optional: Make the introductions between Angel and others (Oz maybe, Tara, Anya, etc) interesting. And have Tara comment on Angel's aura or something.
-Mention Jenny. You could have her as a gypsy or not, Giles' g/f or not. Just mention her.
-Mention Spike and Dru too. You can have them dead, alive and elsewhere, or in Sunnydale, or you could have Spike chipped, and have them explain it to Angel after he acts rashly when he see's him.
-Angel *must* wear leather pants, and please have someone comment on how good they look or something. (Anya would be perfect for this)
-It takes a while for Buffy to get rid of Riley and be with Angel. In otherwords: ANGST!!
Author's Note 2: In my world, Oz never left, he and Willow are happy and she and Tara are just good friends. Just some things to clear up, too: Everything pretty much happens the same way, just take out all the Angel stuff (and Parker stuff). So, Faith evil, but no Angel drinking Buffy, etc. Riley doesn't leave the Initiative until it's destroyed, Prof. Walsh still gets killed, and while Angel was gone Jenny found a way to bind his soul, so there's nothing to worry about there and everyone knows (except Angel) that she was a gypsy and are over it.
Feedback: Yeah, baby, yeah! Please? engelchen@bolt.com

Chapter One

1998

The night was quiet. Buffy and Angel walked hand in hand in silence up the plank to the boat. He was leaving. It was her birthday and he was leaving.

"I should go the rest of the way alone," he said quietly.

"Okay," she managed as her eyes filled with tears.

"I'll be back," he promised, "I will.""When? Six months? A year? We don't know how long it's going to take. Or if we'll even—," her voice cracked.

"If we'll even what?" he prodded.

"Well, if you haven't noticed, someone always pretty much wants us dead," she answered.

"Don't say that. We'll be fine," he replied, trying to comfort her, even though truth rang in her words.

"We don't know that," she answered, refusing to pretend.

"We can't know, Buffy. Nobody can. That's just the deal," he stated with as much confidence as he could muster. They looked at each other, feeling the unspoken words as they flew between them. The needed each other desperately.

He reached into his pocket and pulled something out. "I have something for you. For your birthday. I was going to give it to you earlier, but . . . ," he said as he opened the box. He pulled out a silver ring, dwarfed in his hand. Two hands clasped a crowned heart as it glinted in the moonlight.

"It's beautiful," she said sincerely.

"My people," his voice was husky, "before I was changed, they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship. The crown represents loyalty. And the heart, well, you know . . . ," he smiled, "Wear it with the hear pointing towards you, it means you belong to someone. Like this." He held up his hand, revealing a ring identical to hers. With the heart pointing towards him. He belonged to somebody.

To her.

She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it gently, his eyes closing as she did so.

"Put it on," he urged and then slid it gently on her finger. She looked up at him, the tears pooling in her eyes again, knowing that it was time.

"I don't want to do this," she confessed as the tears spilled.

"Me, either," he answered.

"So . . . don't go," she begged even though she knew he had to. He didn't answer. Instead they kissed, holding each other, needing each other that night and every other night. They broke apart, but still holding to each other.

"Buffy, I . . .," he began softly.

"You what?" she asked.

"I love you," he replied and as he said it, her eyes lit up, knowing that he loved her, that he needed her as much as she needed him and then he confessed again, "I try not to, but I can't stop."

"Me, too. I can't either," she replied, her voice full of emotion. They kissed again, pressing into the other, wanting each other so desperately.

"Buffy, I have to go . . . ," he said using more strength than he thought he had as he pulled away from her. He picked up the box and looked at her longingly and then walked away as she stood watching from the plank, tears running down her cheeks in broken sobs.

2000

Angel trudged through the streets of Istanbul to the docks where a cargo ship was waiting. Waiting to take him home to Sunnydale. Home to Buffy. He'd been gone for almost two years.

Every sleep laden day was dreamt about her. Memories danced through his dreams. Of what was and what should have been. Mostly he just held her, held her close to him as she talked. Their connection was still there, that hadn't dwindled, but Angel had to wonder what would be there when he returned. If Buffy would be there.

He had only sent one letter, when he reached the first port in Panama after he'd left. After that, the letters just piled up in his bag, all voicing the same love, the same concern, the same desire. He didn't know why they didn't get sent.

That didn't matter though. He was going home and that was all that mattered

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The freighter pulled into the docks. The month long voyage was just that, long. Angel climbed the stairs to the top of the ship where the plank had already been lowered so the passengers could leave the boat. He looked up at the clear night sky, stars twinkling brightly back him as he could do nothing but smile at the thought of being home.

Yesterday was Buffy's nineteenth birthday. Two whole years since he had seen her last. How he missed her.

He grabbed his bag and ran down the plank. He was home.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

He stood at the door to his apartment, just looking at the door, relishing the memories of being with Buffy as she whispered goodnight. He opened the door slowly to find the room was just as he'd left it. The bed was made neatly and there was a thin layer of dust coating everything. But it was home.

The need, desire, to see Buffy was overwhelming, but the unavoidable exhaustion of his long journey was setting in. He laid down on the bed, still dressed, and slept.

Chapter Two

Angel stood in Giles' doorway. Undecided if he should just knock and make his presence known. He'd come to Giles' first, hoping that he could find out a little bit of what was going on. After he had woken up, the desire to see Buffy was filled with fear. What if she had forgotten him, what if she had moved on, what if she didn't love him? He didn't know how he would handle that.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Inside Giles' apartment she was uneasy. Buffy felt antsy and she couldn't explain why. She kept looking around, trying to figure out what it was, but to no avail. She sighed and turned her attention back to Giles.

The gang was there listening to what happened the last few days. Giles had been turned into a feoral demon by Ethan Rayne. And then, her birthday, considering her track record with birthdays, was the bestest Buffy birthday ever as she told Giles the night of her surprise party.

She couldn't believe they'd thrown her a surprise party. Not after the last one. She sighed at the memory, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ears and tried to concentrate again on what Giles was saying.

But he wasn't saying anything. The person knocking at the door had interrupted him. He walked and opened the door.

"Oh. Oh my . . . ," he began.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

He finally knocked on the door. He could hear footsteps. Had his heart been beating, it would have been pounding with nerves. The door opened and Giles stood in the doorway, taking him in for a moment and then his eyes registered in shock.

"Oh. Oh my . . . ," he began, "Come in." He stepped over the threshold into the apartment. He was met by twelve sets of eyes, all wide with shock. Buffy's brimming with tears already. She didn't say anything, only looked at him. He couldn't read the emotion in her eyes, whether it was happiness, anger, regret, he didn't know.

"Hey," he said softly to all.

"Angel?" Willow finally managed.

"Yeah. I'm back. Just thought you'd like to know," he replied, his eyes never leaving Buffy's. "I'm gonna go now. You guys look busy." He turned to leave when Buffy finally spoke.

"Oh, no you're not!" she answered, finding her feet and grabbing his arm before he could go.

"Why?" he asked quietly, finally eyeing the boy who'd had her hand in his.

"You think you can leave for two years, no one hearing from you the entire time and then you just show up to leave again without answering questions?" she yelled.

"Well, Buffy, it seems like you managed to get over any questions you had!" he spat.

"That's not fair! You left me, remember? You left me on my seventeenth birthday. I got one letter, Angel, one! You think I've given up on my questions? Think again!" she yelled back.

"Well, ask away," he sneered. She looked at him icily.

"Uh . . . I hope I'm not interrupting a personal moment, but I'm confused," the boy, Riley, interrupted. Angel looked hostilely at him.

"Ask Buffy."

"Oh, no, Angel, you are not doing this now," Buffy said evenly, "Don't you dare act like this is my fault." Angel turned to Buffy, his eyes full of anger.

"I didn't blame you for this, Buffy. I had to go, you know that, but if your beau here doesn't know about your past, that is your fault," he replied, glaring at her. She watched him, her eyes sad and hurt. When she finally did speak, it was a whisper.

"Why didn't you write me? Let me know that you were at least alive?"

"I did, but the letters never got sent," he answered.

"Why? Didn't care enough about me?" she said bitterly. He sighed, then realizing that they were not alone.

"Uh, I don't know some of you," he replied. Buffy glared at him.

"What are you doing?"

"Buffy, do you really want to get into this here? Do you want to rehash everything that has happened in the last two years with everyone?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered coldly.

"I didn't send them because I thought that I'd be keeping you from something. I didn't send them because going away gave me some perspective. That normal life you always say you want, you can't have it with a vampire boyfriend, Buffy. I didn't send them because you want that life so badly and I could never deny you that if you had the chance," he finally answered, his voice tired and sad.

He ran his hand through his hair, his silver ring catching the light. Buffy looked down at her own hand, remembering that her own ring was in her jewelry box, had been for a long time.

"Oh," she finally responded. Their eyes met, full of sorrow at what had been lost in the sands of time. Suddenly they were the only two people in the room, their eyes connected as did their souls. Buffy wiped a tear away from her cheek, whispering, "I missed you."

"I know. I missed you, too," he whispered before his cell phone rang. They were pulled down, with everyone again as he answered the phone, "Hello?" He turned away from everyone.

"Buffy, we need to talk," Riley said from behind her. She turned to face him.

"I know. I didn't think that he was ever coming back. I thought he was dead," she choked. Angel turned back around.

"I have to go, there's a problem with my apartment. It was good to see everyone again. If you want, we can talk later, Buffy," he said quietly, she nodded. He met her eyes one more time and quietly walked out the door.

"YOU DATED A VAMPIRE?!?" Riley exploded. She turned to him, eyes blazing.

"Yes. I told you there were things in my past that were hard to understand."

"But a vampire? You're the slayer! You're supposed to kill them, not kiss them," he cried.

"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think people have been telling me that since I fell in love with him? I don't have control over it, Riley. Love isn't rational and it's obvious I haven't been. I didn't know you were such a bigot," she yelled. He glared at her.

"I'm not a bigot. He's a *vampire* Buffy. You kill them. Or has being the slayer blurred your eyes between demon and human?" he said icily.

"Angel has a soul. There's a big difference, but you're too prejudiced to see it," she stated evenly.

"Th-tha-that makes sense," Tara said quietly. Everyone turned to Willow's quiet Wiccan friend, "his aura, it's not like other vampires. Most vampires, there is darkness surrounding their entire aura. His is very different. You can feel the demon, but his soul, it's very good. Very powerful."

They all looked at her quietly.

Chapter Three

Buffy patrolled the graveyard quietly, thinking about the two years she had missed Angel. Suddenly he was back in town and she could barely keep herself from throwing herself in his arms, but there were so many questions now. There was Riley and why Angel hadn't written and why he had been gone so long and so many more. There was a lot of anger inside even though her heart was always in her throat, he was home.

"Maybe we should talk," his smooth velvety voice came from behind her, startling her from her reverie. She turned around.

"Maybe," she replied trying to keep her voice as emotionless as possible. He walked towards her, leather duster flapping behind him. Her heart started to pound as he got closer, 'He looks so good...' she thought.

"So... ," he began.

"So... ," she repeated, then looked up at him, tears brimming in her eyes, "what took you so long?"

"Demons. All over Tibet. Besides, the arm, I had it cut into smaller pieces. I took them all over. Pieces in Columbia, Spain, Italy, Tibet, and Turkey. Then I ran into an old friend in Istanbul, when did Dru leave?" he replied quietly, repressing the urge to wipe away her tears, to crush her tiny frame against his and kiss her.

"She left a few months after you did, when I stopped her from raising Acathla. Spike went, too, but he seems to always find his way back to Sunnydale," Buffy answered, feeling his lips against her own.

"Acathla?" his eyes were wide as she nodded, "Sometimes I wonder how she survived this long. And why was Spike in Giles' living room? He is evil."

"He got this chip in his head. He can't bite people without severe pain," Buffy replied, a giggle threatening to escape her lips.

"Ahhh. And how did he get chipped?" Angel smiled. Buffy felt like her knees were going to give out, how much she'd missed his trademark smirk.

"There's this secret government branch called the Initiative. They capture demons and experiment on them. Spike got caught and didn't escape before they put the chip in his head," she answered.

"Let me guess, your... boyfriend is a member?" he said quietly.

"Yeah," she answered just as quiet. He just nodded. They stood there awkwardly for a few minutes.

"Well, I'm going to go," he started before she interrupted.

"Come back to Giles' with me. I didn't get a chance to introduce everyone to you. Besides, you helped patrol tonight, I'm sure Giles would like the report." He eyed her cautiously, but nodded and headed off to Giles'.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

They reached Giles' quickly. The group had assembled again to research the latest bad, a polgara demon. The Initiative had tracked it as well, but Buffy wanted to know the answers to the questions they hadn't been willing to answer, like why it was here and what it wanted.

Buffy opened the door and walked in, Angel on her heels.

"Hey Buffy," Willow said as she walked in, "and Angel." He smiled at her.

"Hey Will," Buffy replied, then adding to everyone else, "I know some of you didn't get the proper introduction last night, so everyone this is Angel." She gestured to everyone, "Angel, you know Giles, Jenny, Willow, Xander, Cordelia, and Spike. I think you met Oz the night..."

"Yeah, nice to see you all again," he said.

"This is Anya," pointing to the blond girl at Xander's side.

"Don't I know you?" he asked hesitantly.

"I would've remembered you," she stated matter of factly, watching him with lust in her eyes. He eyed her still before it dawned on him.

"Anyanka, vengeance demon... ," he said.

"You've heard of me?" she asked excitedly.

"I watched you once, a girl wished that her former boyfriend pull his brains out through his nose. It was rather disgusting," he grimaced, but remembering how he, as Angelus, had enjoyed the sight. Anya beamed.

"Anya's a former vengeance demon though, right, honey?" Xander asked.

"Yeah," she grumbled. Buffy shook her head.

"This is Tara," she said pointing to another blonde girl sitting with the group, "she met Willow through a Wicca group." He smiled and nodded at her, she smiled back, blushing slightly.

"This is Wesley. You missed out, last year Giles got fired on my birthday and Wesley got to be the new watcher for me and Faith," Buffy explained as he shook hands with a very British man.

"Faith?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah, when Dru was trying to raise Acathla, she killed Kendra. Faith was called after that. She's in a coma, now," Buffy explained.

"Buffy put her there," Anya stated. He eyed Buffy.

"She went evil and was trying to kill us and help the mayor with the ascension thing," Buffy exclaimed.

"Ascension? I thought it was just a rumor, didn't know it actually happened," Angel mused.

" Yeah, blew up the high school," Buffy shrugged. Angel grinned. There was that smile again, Buffy wanted to scream. Or smother him with kisses. She closed her eyes, trying to get a grip on herself. She opened them to find Angel watching her, concern emanating from the chocolate depths. She smiled hesitantly instead.

So... Polgara demon, what do we know?" she asked, turning herself away from Angel.

"Not much," Wesley began before the door opened again.

"What are you doing?" Riley asked from the doorway, watching Angel like he wanted to kill him.

Chapter Four

Buffy moved to the door, to Riley. Angel wanted to scream.

"What are you doing?" Riley repeated.

"Researching the polgara demon. Why?" Buffy asked.

"I thought we were going to let the Initiative handle the polgara," he stated, still watching Angel intently.

"Riley, your team couldn't handle it last night. If I hadn't been there... ," she began.

"We would've been fine, Buffy. Besides, the polgara's being examined and... ," he said before she interrupted.

"And what? Before they put some experimental chip in its head and set it free again? What if that chip doesn't work, Riley?" she glared.

"They work," he said evenly.

"You have no idea what you're dealing with," Angel said quietly. Riley turned to him, eyes blazing.

"And you do?"

"I've fought more of these things in the last two years than you could ever imagine, boy. A polgara isn't your run-of-the-mill demon. It's very different, stronger physically and mentally. You put a chip in it's head, it's gonna stab you through the heart," Angel snapped.

"Is that what kept you away?" Buffy asked quietly, "Polgaras?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"Too bad it didn't stab you in the heart," Riley muttered under his breath. Both Buffy and Angel heard him with their supernatural hearing. Buffy turned to him, her eyes shooting daggers.

"It's okay," Angel said quietly, grabbing her arm. She looked at him, her eyes apologetic. He smiled in return, it was a sad smile, though.

"So, what do you have to do?" Riley asked impatiently.

"You have to remove the daggers in the arms and then you can kill it. Their strength is dependent on that weapon," Angel answered. Riley nodded.

"I'll tell the Initiative," he stated before moving to the door. Buffy glance at Angel, again apologizing through her eyes.

"I'll go with you. You might need help," she said quietly. Riley nodded again and waited as Buffy moved to the door.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"So... ," Riley began as they walked next to each other.

"I don't want to talk about it, Riley," Buffy answered tiredly.

"About what?" he asked, even though they both knew what he meant.

"Angel. The past, now. I don't want to talk about it right now," she repeated. He opened his mouth to argue only to close it. In the few months they'd known each other he'd learned the hard way not to push her when she didn't want to talk about something. So they walked in silence.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The polgara was dead, Buffy made sure of that. Riley was walking her back to her dorm room after they'd gone to the Initiative and watched as they destroyed the polgara.

"We're here," Riley said shaking Buffy from her thoughts. She looked up to see her door. He looked down at her, smiling gently.

"Oh... ," she replied.

"Look, Buffy, I'm sorry about everything that's happened with... Angel. It's just awkward. A little bizarre, but your life is hardly normal," Riley began, she looked up, "Forgive me?" Buffy gave him a tired smile before he leaned down to kiss her. She broke away after a second and opened her door.

"Good night, Riley," she whispered before walking in and closing the door.

"Good night, Buffy," he replied to the wood in front of him. There would always be a door blocking him from her, it seemed. Sighing, he turned and walked away.

Chapter Five

In the two weeks since Angel had been home she had regularly patrolled with him. They were falling back into their old pattern and Buffy couldn't help but feel the comfort in that. Knowing that he was there to watch her back, to protect her, made everything better. Riley had come with her on patrol often after they had figured each other out, but she always felt that she was worrying about him more than the particular baddie they were after. She never worried about Angel; he could hold his own.

Tonight, however, she was alone. Riley was off doing some Initiative thing and Angel hadn't been around when she started her sweeps. It was giving her some much needed time to sort through her thoughts. What she had with Angel... had with Angel being the operative words. She didn't deny that she still felt the same way when he was near, her nerve endings buzzing, her spine tingling, but it was in the past. That was what she kept telling herself anyway.

What she had with Riley was now. He was her boyfriend. Even if there was a little voice in the back of her mind screaming out to her, screaming that her soul was complete now. Angel did that to her, Riley didn't. She sighed, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and sat on a cold tombstone, dangling her legs over the edge.

"Not much action?" he asked from behind her. He was always doing that, surprising her, jolting her from a world of thoughts. She turned on the headstone.

"Angel, hey. No, not much," she replied.

"Mind if I sit with you?" he asked, taking a few steps towards her. She smiled a bittersweet smile. Before he would've just come and put his arms around her, kissing her hair gently.

"Yeah," she answered, moving across the top of the stone so he could sit with her.

"So... how long have you and Riley been... you and Riley?" he asked. Buffy detected sadness in his voice.

"We've been dating since the end of November," she answered, giving him a smile, "And you? All those beautiful, exotic women throwing themselves at you, anyone special?" She already knew the answer to that question. He looked at her before answering, a piquant look in his eyes.

"You can't give your heart to someone when someone else already has it." She broke their gaze, looking at her hands guiltily.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Me, too. But you did what you had to. It happens," he replied. He wanted more than anything to take her in his arms, to comfort her, but that wasn't his job anymore.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes before they both heard movement in the nearby bushes. They slid off the stone together silently and motioned to circle it. Angel went left, Buffy right, waiting for whatever it was to come out and play. It emerged and Angel rolled his eyes.

"Hi Buffy," the tall blond boy said.

"Hey Riley," she replied, "What's up?"

"Thought you might need patrol help," he answered, eyeing Angel, "but it looks like..." Neither of them said anything, just letting it hang. "So..."

"Shh... ," Angel motioned, looking in the other direction. He crouched, listening, hearing movement.

"What?" Buffy whispered.

"I hear something... ," he answered.

And then they were jumped. Buffy and Angel immediately moved into defense while Riley fiddled with his taser gun. There were three of the demons, scaly and horned, armed to the teeth.

"Buffy!" Riley cried as one of the demons picked him up from behind, throwing him to the ground. It moved to hit him with the large sword in his hand, but he rolled away in time. Buffy looked away from her fight to see that Angel was faring fine whereas Riley was not.

"Crap!" she yelled before using the demon's momentum to throw him to the ground and snap its neck. Angel did a similar move to dispatch of the demon he was fighting and moved with Buffy to get Riley's away. Together the moved in, fighting in the rhythm they always had.

Riley watched in a haze as Buffy and Angel fought the demon they had ripped off him. They were alarmingly quick and incredibly powerful in battle, he realized in that instant that he'd hate to be the ones going up against them. Within moments it was gone and Buffy was at his side, helping him up.

"That's a nasty cut," Angel said pointing to the gash Riley had on his head, "it needs stitches." Buffy nodded, using her body as a support for Riley's limp and bruised one.

"I'm gonna... ," she began motioning in the direction of the hospital.

"Yeah," Angel replied. She nodded and began walking away, helping her boyfriend walk. Angel watched them until they had disappeared into the night and he couldn't see them anymore before slipping into the shadows himself and going home.

Chapter Six

Buffy knocked softly on the apartment door before letting herself in and calling out softly, "Angel?" She saw him standing in front of his bed, pants resting on his hips, silk shirt unbuttoned. He turned.

"Hey... ," he replied, a little surprised to see her.

"Hey... whatcha doin'?" she asked, motioning to the boxes strewn around the apartment.

"I'm moving," he said quietly. Buffy's eyes filled with dread, before masking them.

"Do you need any more space? You're the only one who lives here," she joked.

"I'm leaving Sunnydale, Buffy," he said gently.

"What? Why? You just got back!" she cried.

"I can't be here anymore. I can't be around you... and him," he replied softly.

"You're leaving because of Riley?" she cried.

"I can't do it, Buffy, I can't watch you hug him and kiss him, it's too hard. For both of us. If I go, you can build your relationship," he answered, moving to put the clothes on his bed in a nearby box.

"So, you're being selfish?" she spat. He turned towards her.

"Yes," he seethed, "Tell me that if I came into your life with a new woman by my side and I kissed her and hugged her and whispered things in her ear that you could stand it. Could you do it, Buffy?" She glared at him, but for a split second as he spoke, Angel saw the fear of the situation and the hatred she had for this imaginary woman.

"When?" she asked.

"Few days," he replied.

"And you were planning on telling me when?" she snapped.

"Tonight," he replied. They stood there quietly watching each other.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Los Angeles. Not too far away, I can come help if you need it," he answered.

"I always need your help," she whispered. He moved to her, gently caressing her cheek, wiping the tears away.

"I know," he replied. She leaned her head into his chest, breathing him in as he rested his own head on hers.

"I still love you."

"Always," he whispered. She lifted her head and their lips brushed in a bittersweet kiss. They broke apart and her tears kept falling.

"I better go," she choked.

"Yeah," he said as she moved to the door. They watched each other from the distance, there was nothing they could do, everything had already been decided for them. Finally, she broke their gaze and walked out the door, shutting it behind her. He sat down on his bed, his head in his hands, sorrow overtaking him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

She didn't know why she was going back to his apartment, but she was. She needed to talk to him, convince him to stay. He had to stay. Feeling like she was living a dream, she knocked on the door again and walked in softly when he didn't answer.

The apartment was bare, stripped of its linens and personal effects. The bed, desk, armoire, and the rest of the furniture was still there, but nothing that was him was. She moved to the bed, noticing a small bundle on top of it. It was a note from him.

Dear Buffy,

After our goodbyes the other night I couldn't bear it if we had to say them yet again. So I left. I'm sorry for the last few weeks, the confusion and anger. When I came back I hadn't intended that, I never intended to hurt you. It seems that's all I do.

I love you, Buffy. I think I always have, before I met you and I always will, after I die. Always know this. Cherish what we had, I know I will forever.

There is a quote that I heard long ago, by someone, probably wise, but it says, "I will greatly miss you, especially your presence in my life. Now my place in your book of life is gone and it is time to move on. So as time goes by, and there are more good-byes I hope that you remember me and the thoughts of our 'time.'"

Enjoy the love that he can give you. Never let go.

Always,
Angel

P.S. I've left the letters I wrote you; I want you to have them, something to remember our time.

She sat on the bed and cried. He left again. Just when she thought that she might have gotten her heart back, he took it again.

He would always have it.

Chapter Seven

Angel moved soundlessly through his office. He could hear Cordelia working in the other room and Wesley flipping through the pages of some old book. Both of them had moved out to L.A. before he had, Cordelia looking for stardom, Wesley a new job. Neither really found what they were looking for and each had come to Angel, looking for a place to crash. He'd hired them both and Angel Investigations was started along with Doyle and the occasional help from Gunn, a streetwise kid who fought vampires.

"Angel, man, you got anything to drink down in the bat cave?" Doyle asked. Doyle was an Irish half Brakken demon who had been waiting for Angel in L.A. He was their link to the Powers That Be and to the people they needed to help. Angel shook his head no.

He'd been here for four months, fighting evil and thinking about Buffy. They talked to each other on the phone often, discussing the latest bads in their respective cities. They never mentioned Riley or even the woman at the bar who had flirted shamelessly with Angel one night while he was undercover. They didn't talk about demons either, it was already too much a part of their lives. They couldn't talk about those things, they were the things that drove them there. They just talked.

The phone rang. Looking at his watch he was pretty sure who it was going to be.

"Hello?" he said into the receiver.

"Hey," she breathed.

"Hey," he replied.

"What's up?" she asked.

"The usual. Demons trying to kill me," he joked. Buffy smiled on the other end. Since he had come home and moved to L.A. Angel had joked more. She loved it.

"Well, sounds like the same things that are happening here," she replied.

"Everything okay?" he asked, Buffy detecting the hint of worry that he always had.

"As well as can be," she replied, "there's a new demon in town."

"What is it?" he asked.

"Adam," she answered.

"Adam?" he questioned.

"Yeah, my former professor and big-wig in the Initiative created this demonoid out of demon parts -including that polgara we killed, and machinery," she explained.

"Sounds bad," he replied.

"Yeah. I can barely fight him. He seems fairly unstoppable. We kinda need the extra resources," she said quietly.

"We'll be down in a couple of hours," he answered.

"Thanks," Buffy whispered.

"You know that I'd do anything to help you," he answered. She smiled.

"Me, too. We'll see you in a couple of hours," she replied.

"Yeah. Bye," they hung up the phone.

~ ~ ~ ~

"They're coming," Buffy said softly to the gang surrounding her. Giles nodded in answer as he kept looking for the spell he thought might work. "I'm gonna go get Riley and we're gonna do a quick sweep before they get here."

"That's would be good," Giles mumbled. She nodded and headed out the door. As she walked to Riley's thoughts invaded her mind. How much she missed him. Sooner than she realized she was standing in front of Riley's door. She knocked lightly before he answered the door.

"Hi," he said, grinning.

"You ready?" she asked.

"I wanted to talk to you first," he said, leading her through the door and up to his room. He opened the door slowly revealing candles burning everywhere through the room.

"Riley... ," she began.

"Shh. Let me talk," he said, "Buffy, I love you. I want to be with you." She looked at him, completely shocked.

"I'm not ready, Riley," she stammered, remembering a time when she knew she was. Angel left before they could seize it.

"You're not ready? We've been dating for six months. You seemed ready four months ago," he said quietly, referring to the night of her birthday when they had been very close to it before Willow interrupted.

"I thought I was, Riley. But the things that have happened the last few months, I'm still not," she answered.

"Things? Angel, you mean," he was getting mad, "You're not Angel's girlfriend anymore, Buffy. You're mine."

"I'm not anyone's, Riley," she spat, "I belong to me." He glared at her.

"Did you tell Angel that? I know what that ring means, Buffy. The one he wears, the one you have hidden in your jewelry box that gets put away every time I come over," he snapped.

"Don't" she warned.

"Don't what? Ask you, my girlfriend, if I mean as much to you as that vampire did? Does?" he cried. She looked up at him, her eyes full of hatred.

"I don't think we should see each other any more," she said icily. His head snapped up and he gawked for a minute.

"What?" he stuttered.

"You're right, Riley. It's not fair to you. I know what that ring means and no, I didn't tell him that because I was wrong, I do belong to him and him to me. It's over," she replied, moving to the door and leaving quietly. He stared at the door for a long time, unable to believe that he had just lost the love of his life to a vampire.

Chapter Eight

Angel dropped Cordelia, Wesley, Doyle, and Gunn off at Giles and Jenny's house, knowing that they would find everyone but Buffy there. He went looking for her. Roaming down an alleyway he turned, hearing someone behind him. He knew it wasn't Buffy, she knew how to be stealthy. Riley did not.

"Hello Riley," he said evenly as the boy came out of the darkness, taser gun in hand.

"Angel," he said hostilely.

"You want to put that down?" he asked.

"No."

"I don't want to have to take it from you," Angel replied.

"I can't imagine what Buffy'll think when her precious vampire has been dusted," the boy retorted.

"Try me," Angel growled. Riley moved to shoot the taser at Angel, but the vampire's speed was too great. He had the gun before Riley had a chance to shoot him with it. Instead he resorted to fists. Angel blocked his punch, throwing one of his own. They fought and before long Angel had thrown the boy into a wall, he could barely stand.

"Now, I'm going to go find an old girlfriend. You want to try and stop me?" he growled before leaving Riley in a heap.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Hey," Buffy said quietly before turning around to face him.

"Hey," he replied.

"So, where is everyone?" she asked.

"At Giles'. I came to find you," he answered.

"Oh."

"I would've been here sooner, but I met up with something," he explained, she nodded.

"We should probably head over to Giles' and see if we can help," she said. He nodded, following her.

"So, tell me about Adam," he said as they walked.

"I broke up with Riley," she confessed. Angel looked at her, surprised, not expecting it.

"Oh. Why?"

"He wanted... more than I could give him," she explained quietly.

"I'm sorry." She looked at him for a minute and then kept walking.

"I'm not," she finally said. This time, he looked at her and they just watched each other.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"So, that's the plan?" Buffy asked.

"Yes," Giles replied.

"Good. Let's move," she was all slayer now and she had demons to kill

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Buffy kicked the door open to Lowell House, moving fast with Willow, Oz, Xander, Anya, and Giles behind her. Angel's group along was going through the tunnels and meeting them in the main area of the Initiative. Tara and Jenny were waiting at a building nearby where they were going to cast a small protection spell on the group. The spell that Giles had found wouldn't include most of them, but they were going to be basically lookouts during the time the spell was going on.

Buffy had explained everything to Angel after Giles had explained it to her. They were going to go in and find Adam while the rest of them did the spell and did any demon killing they could. Buffy told them only if necessary, but she had a feeling they'd need to kill thus they were stocked with weapons and they were hoping that they could find some more... Initiative type weapons once they got in.

She kicked the mirror in and it shattered around her, sort of like her life the last few days. Months even. Shaking her head, she reached for the harness Giles had for her and grinned as they sent the two other groups before them.

"Giles," she began as they slowly made their descent, "I wanted to apologize for everything that's happened."

"Buffy, it wasn't your fault. We had no idea that Spike was working for Adam though we probably should have," he replied.

"No, not that. For the last few months. I know I've been really... distracted and what Spike said, I can't help but wonder if you believed it already," she said softly, casting her eyes down.

"Buffy, this is what happens. You're growing up and changing. Going to college is always a change and people always change there," he assured her.

"But I still feel bad," she whispered.

"There is no need. I've never felt anything but pride for you," he answered earnestly. She looked up at him and smiled. When they reached the bottom where the others were waiting she hugged him quickly before turning to the others.

"I love you all, you know that right?" she asked as they looked surprised before smiling.

"Yeah, we know, Buff," Xander replied as she moved to hug them all.

"I don't need to hug you, do I? I never was mad at you," Anya stated as Buffy grinned.

"Just wanted you all to know. Now, let's go kill Adam," she answered. They turned to the doorway and pried it open finding Initiative guards waiting for them.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Angel moved quietly through the tunnels, following Buffy's instructions on which tunnel to avoid because they didn't want to meet up with Adam just yet. Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn followed him, each silently moving. They reached the doorway that Buffy had told them about and Angel moved to open it, using the instructions Willow had given him to hack into the code system. He punched in the code and the door slid open.

"Look, intruders," a young commando said as the guards came into view. Angel instinctively moved in to fight when Cordelia grabbed his coat and pulled him back.

"Don't. They have those taser gun things that Buffy told us about," she instructed. Angel sighed, knowing that even if she had just saved their skin, she'd also ruined one of the only chances they might have to fight.

"Colonel doesn't want them dead. Bring them to the main control room," another commando replied. They motioned for the group to move through the corridor and they surrounded them, guns pressing into their backs.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A door slid open as Buffy and the rest of the group waited in the control room, arguing with the colonel, trying to get him to understand. She turned to see Angel and the rest of his group being guarded as well. Buffy swore under her breath as they were joined together.

"Hey," Angel muttered as he stood next to her. She grinned and turned back to the colonel.

"You don't understand! If you don't let us go, Adam will take over everything and you will lose," Buffy stated evenly, her voice cold.

"And you? Some little girl can defeat him?" the colonel mocked. Angel growled at her side. She put a hand on his chest, calming him a little.

"You have no idea what you're dealing with," she replied, silently adding, "They never know."

"Not only do you think your little band of renegades can stop him, but a hostile? You brought a hostile to help you," the colonel sneered.

"He's worth twenty of your Initiative boys," Buffy muttered. She rolled her eyes, turning to Angel. She looked up at him, her eyes hoping to see that he knew what to do. He smiled weakly. He didn't know either.

As if in answer to silent prayers they were all saying, the lights went out and the computers started beeping. The colonel turned angrily.

"What's going on?" he demanded.

"The power's been cut off," the boy at the computer said hurriedly as he tried to fix it or even understand why. Alarms began sounding and the colonel began to issue orders. Soon after all but two guards had been dispatched. Buffy and Angel glanced at each other, moving wordlessly and knocked the last two out. Willow moved to the computer.

"What do we know?" Buffy asked, looking around cautiously.

"We know there's an electrical source and air ducts running to there," she began, pointing to the screen.

"So?" Buffy asked.

"There's no there," the redhead continued, pressing another button, showing the rooms in the Initiative.

"And the government says they're honest with us," Xander scoffed, "I'm writing my congressman."

"It's Adam. Look, it's right behind 314. It's gotta be. Let's move," Buffy answered.

"Getting there may be a problem, Buffy," Willow said unevenly before continuing, "it goes through the main part of the lab. Where all the demons have been let loose."

"So, we'll kill them. Grab those guns. Okay, change of plans, I don't want you all coming, it's too dangerous. Angel, can you get them out?" he nodded, "Good, get everyone out, Willow, Xander, Giles, you follow me. Kill anything you can, but get out first. I want them all with Jenny and Tara."

"I'm coming back," Angel said quietly. Buffy turned to argue with him, but knew she wouldn't win.

"I had a feeling you would," she nodded and motioned to everyone to go, "Be careful."

"You, too," Angel replied, before exiting quietly with the rest of the group.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Angel led them far into the caves until he knew that they were save.

"Gunn, get them out. No casualties," he said before turning to go back.

"Angel!" Cordy yelled, he turned back to face her, "Be careful, okay?" He smiled at her and left, turning down the tunnel they had previously avoided, hoping to get caught. And he did.

"Adam, I presume," he muttered.

"Angelus," the demonoid replied. Angel's head snapped up as he realized that it knew who he was.

"How... ?" he began.

"You are well known in the labs. Killing the slayer, all my resources say, requires killing Angelus. You are quite famous," Adam replied.

"It's not something I'm proud of," he retorted. Adam laughed.

"Yes, of course. It's Angel now. You have a human soul. How... amusing."

"They are right though. You'll have to kill me before you can get to her," he sneered.

"Yes. Of course."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

They mowed through the main lab, Xander with a machine gun clearing the way, Buffy fighting. They reached 314 and as Buffy looked for a way into the other room the others began to set up.

"Okay, I think I can get in here," Buffy said as she pushed one of the wall panels away revealing a hallway.

"Be careful, Buffy," Willow said as she set a candle down.

"I will. You, too. Do it," she replied and then disappeared through the door. Xander and Giles hastily shut the door and sat down, waiting for Willow.

"Let's do it," the redhead said.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Buffy moved through the hallway, her spidey-sense on full alert. Turning a corner, Angel came into view.

"Angel!"

"I told you I would come back," he replied as he struggled against his captor, "So you know these people?" Buffy nodded, a look of disgust on her face.

"Yeah, Professor Walsh and Forrest, nice to see you again," she said to the figures in the room. A zombie Professor Walsh was moving around the room, Forrest was holding Angel

"Adam went that way," he replied, nodding in the direction behind her.

"You gonna be okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I can handle him," he quipped as he threw the now demonoid Forrest over his shoulder, "I'll come find you when I'm done." She nodded, smiling at him before leaving.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Adam threw Buffy across the room and she fell in a heap behind a control panel. Suddenly she felt the spell overtake her and the next thing she knew, Angel burst into the room as she pulled the power source from Adam's chest. She collapsed as Angel caught her.

"Forrest?" she said weakly.

"In pieces again," he answered, helping her up and moving to the door. She grinned as they headed back to the rest of the group, the fight wasn't over just yet.

Chapter Nine

They all watched as the smoke cleared away. Adam had finally been defeated and the Initiative was gone. The group had managed to keep casualties down.

"Nice work," Buffy said to everyone. She looked around for Angel but hadn't seen him since they completed the spell and went through the Initiative lab.

"Buffy... ," Riley's voice came from behind her, she turned.

"Riley, I didn't see you in the fight, are you okay?" she asked, noticing the cuts and bruises on his face and arms.

"I didn't fight in this fight. Your boy attacked me," he said icily.

"What?" she asked.

"Angel," he said simply.

"Yeah, right, Captain Commando," Cordelia retorted, "Angel wouldn't attack you."

"He did," Riley said.

"Why do I find that hard to believe?" Wesley asked, "Angel would not deliberately attack you unless he was provoked." Buffy was standing there, unable to hear anything but Angel beat him up.

"Riley, you'd better be telling the truth, otherwise, I'm gonna kill you," Buffy snapped. He didn't say anything.

"Oh, you're actually going to listen to the wanker?" Spike asked, unbelieving, "Even I know the Poof wouldn't hurt him unless he attacked first." All eyes turned from Spike to Riley.

"Get out Riley," Buffy practically growled. He looked at her, but she didn't care.

"Good bye Buffy," he said defeated and turned and walked away.

"Where's Angel?" Buffy asked hurriedly, hoping to find him before he left. No one answered, they were watching the figure behind her. She turned and there he was, standing in the smoky aftermath, watching her. He gave her his trademark half smile and nodded, then turned to go.

"No," she whispered, then yelling, "No, Angel!" She started to run after him as fast as she could. He didn't turn around until she caught his arm and pulled him.

"Just let me go, Buffy," he said hoarsely.

"Why? I want you to stay, I need you to stay," she cried.

"No you don't. You survived two years without me and then more. You don't need me," he answered.

"Angel, I don't need you to protect me. I need you to love me because I love you, I love you so much. Please don't leave me again," she begged.

"Buffy, I...," he started, but she threw her arms around his neck, kissing him with a passion she'd had in her for almost two and a half years.

"Please stay," she pleaded after she broke the kiss. He looked into her begging eyes, wishing he had more willpower, but instead he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her again. He started turning with her in his arms as a small giggle escaped her lips.

"I love you," he mumbled as he nuzzled her cheek.

"I love you," she replied.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Away from the two lovers, the rest of the group grinned.

"I don't know how she let him go. Look at his butt in those pants," Anya commented as the rest of the group laughed, "Xander, we should get you some leather pants." The group erupted with laughter again as they walked away, letting the lovers be.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Buffy slipped on the purple dress she'd bought earlier that day in preparation for her date with Angel. It was their first official date since he left. She pulled her hair out of the rollers she'd had it in while she did her make up and let the loose wave fall gently down her back. She added a touch of lip gloss and smiled in the mirror. Only one thing was missing. She moved to her jewelry box, opening the lid. She pulled out a silver ring, her eyes shown with tears as she slipped the missed claddagh back onto her finger.

He knocked at the door and she grinned. She moved, opening it and letting him in.

"You look beautiful," he whispered before placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Glad you like," she replied, answering the kiss with another.

"Shall we?" he asked, offering his arm.

"We shall," she grinned.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The dinner was superb, the moonlight walk uneventful vampire and demon wise, and everything was perfect. Buffy couldn't think of anywhere she wanted to be more.

They were dancing under the moonlight, her head leaning against his broad chest and his own resting gently on top of hers.

"I love you, Angel," she murmured. She could feel the muscles in his face move as he smiled.

"I'll never love anything more," he replied. She moved her head so she could see his eyes, her own filling with tears of joy. She smiled and reached up to kiss him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Later as they lay next to the fire in a tangle of blankets and limbs, Buffy ran her fingers up and down Angel's arm as he watched her.

"I love you," she mumbled again, she couldn't say the words enough. Too many times she'd lost him, too many times to be hurting.

"I love you," he replied. Hearing her say the words, being able to say them to her gave him a joy he never knew existed. He'd never leave, never say goodbye again.

Soon, they fell asleep in their lover's embrace, warmth emanating from their bodies, from their love. Theirs was finally a happy ending though it was a only beginning. .

Well, there you go. Fluff, as promised. Remember that I made an author's note at the beginning that Jenny found a way to bind Angel's soul while he was gone. So, what did you think? Let me know!

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