This is the IWRY story, it slightly adjusts "I Will Remember You" for
the Phone Buddies Angel & Buffy, as opposed to the Angel and Buffy on
the show who hadn't spoken to each other in six months.
This is a rewrite of "I Will Remember You" to mesh with my
phone
calls series. I don't own anybody. I didn't change
"Pangs" one bit,
and only slightly adjusted IWRY, cuz even though it was heart-
breaking, it was still good. Can soulmates be just friends?
`Course
not. They're soulmates. To paraphrase Spike, "[They'll]
be in love
until it kills [them] both." If you see brackets [ ] within
quotation marks " " it means I have taken a line from the
show and
changed it. In the brackets is the changed text. THANK GOD FOR
CLOSED CAPTIONING, AND THE FEBRUARY 17TH RELEASE OF ANGEL SEASON
1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (can you tell I just watched that
episode?)
'Idiot, idiot, idiot,' Angel thought to himself as he drove back to LA in Thanksgiving traffic.
Rubbing his forehead with his left hand, he rested his elbow on the windowsill. His claddagh, covering the Ring of Amarra, sparkled as the sun caught his fist, wrapped around the steering wheel. He kept it in his glove compartment now, and generally wore it only when he had to drive in the sunlight.
He never should have gone secretly like that. Now Xander wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut, and Buffy would be upset.
Hell, Spike had been able to sense his presence there. Surely Buffy, with whom he had a more intense bond, had felt something was off.
There's gonna be hell to pay, he thought.
*****
"Look, Buffy will always be a part of me, and that's never going to change. But she's human and I'm … not … and that's also never going to change. [She's moving on in her life,] no need to stir up [her feelings for me again.]"
"You don't want to stir, but … if my ex came to town and was all stalking me in the shadows and then left and then he didn't even say hello, I'd be …"
"… a little upset," a new voice said, interrupting their conversation. Buffy Summers continued, "Wouldn't you?"
"Buffy!" Cordy exclaimed. "Buffy's here! In town. What brings you to..."
"I came to see my father," Buffy said looking at Angel. "Thought I'd stop by."
Cordy laughed. "What a surprise!" she said dryly.
"Cordelia, how are you?" Buffy asked politely.
"Good, I'm good," she answered. "You?"
Buffy looked at Angel. "I've been better," she answered.
"Uh huh," Cordelia said. "Well, this is Doyle. And he gets visions of people in trouble."
Doyle smiled at her. "Nice to make your..." he started.
Cordy grabbed him and dragged him out. "And this is us leaving you two alone," she said.
Buffy closed the door after him and turned to Angel who seemed to have some trouble meeting her eyes.
"Well, umm," Angel started nervously. "It's good to... Can I get you anything?"
Buffy looked at him.
"How about," she said, "an explanation?"
*****
"So that's the Slayer?"
"That's our little Buffy," Cordelia replied to Doyle's question.
"Well, she seemed a little-"
"Bulgarian in that outfit?"
"No, I was going to say hurt."
"Yeah, there's a lot of that when they're together. Come on."
"Where are we going?"
"Oh, they'll be into this for a while." Cordy pulled Doyle out of the office, saying, "We still have time for a cappuccino – and probably the director's cut of Titanic."
As they approached the door, they heard sounds of fighting. Doyle turned, "Did you hear that?"
"Oh yeah, the Buffy and Angel show. First they talk out their differences, and then they punch them out."
Doyle didn't like that explanation. "Shouldn't we-"
"Stick our noses where they don't belong and get them flattened?" Cordelia scoffed. "No thank you."
*****
"Why'd you come back to town?"
"Doyle had a vision of you. I couldn't stay away and leave you facing that alone."
"I face danger alone all the time. I'm the Slayer."
"Yes, and I've answered Doyle's visions a couple of times, but the Powers have never told me, through him, to race back to Sunnydale to fight at your side. But that happened a few days ago. I was doing my duty. I answered a vision, then came home. Ask Doyle, it's happened before," he said, more harshly than he intended.
She uncrossed her arms and stepped closer to him. "Why didn't you say hi? I mean, I couldn't wait to get through dinner to call and tell you all about it. Then I found out you were there."
"You said you started seeing someone. I didn't want to be in the way. You know, `Hi, Riley' or whatever Willow said his name was, `this is my ex-boyfriend Angel and he's stalking me.'"
"You could have stayed for Thanksgiving dinner. You're always welcome. For God's sake, I had Spike there, and I hate him."
"You looked happier without me there."
She stepped next to him, turning his head to look in his eyes. "Don't you think it's possible I looked happy because I knew subconsciously you were there? I'm a Slayer, I have a sixth sense about when vampires are near. But you set off the radar … differently. It's a quirk I'll never forget."
She kissed him gently. "I'm not mad at you. Not anymore," she whispered.
"Táim doiligh." He put his arms around her.
She smiled and kissed him again.
Just then, a demon crashed through the window.
*****
Angel gave Buffy a light kiss from underneath her on the floor. She stood and looked after the demon.
"Friend of yours?" she asked.
"Never saw it before," Angel answered.
"It was rude," Buffy decided. "We should go kill it."
"I'm free," Angel told her.
"Got somewhere I can change?" she asked.
*****
The walked slowly in the sewers, Angel following the scent. "It's heading towards the ocean."
"Are you sure?"
"It's wounded, I can smell its blood."
"Oh. Great. Handy skill." As she passed him, she remarked, "Maybe if [your staff hadn't run off to leave us be], they could have helped us with some research. Find out what this thing is and why it wants to kill us." She whirled at some rustling, but it was only some sewer rats. "Are you getting anything? `Cause I sure smell sewer."
Angel walked over to a green spot on a wall. He placed his fingers in the substance, smelled them, then walked down that passage.
"Tunnel number one it is."
When Angel paused up ahead, Buffy asked him if he was okay.
"I feel weird."
"It's because of me, isn't it? I feel it, too. I want to kiss you and forget this stupid demon, but that would lead to bad things. This is all just so confusing."
"No, I meant I felt weird from the demon's blood. It's powerful."
"Oh. Okay."
"It is confusing. When we're apart…" He trailed off as she turned to look at him. "It's easier," he finished. "It hurts, every day. But I live with it. Now you're – you're right here, and I can actually reach out and-" he reached for her. "It's more than confusing. It's unbearable."
"But we have to bear, right? I mean, what else can we do?" They stepped closer to each other. "It doesn't work with us in close quarters. It can't."
"No, I can't give you a life or a future or anything a real girl would want."
"No matter how much we miss each other."
"Or what we feel in the moment."
"If we let something happen here, we'd want more." He leaned his head down. She continued, "And nothing's changed. We'd only end up having to leave each other again."
He straightened up. She was right. No matter how many phone calls they exchanged saying how much they loved each other and missed being together, when they were face-to-face, everything was still the same as it had been. They couldn't be together. That was that. "And that's the best case scenario."
At the ladder, they agreed to split up, Buffy heading to the Lone Bar near the beach on Second. She started up a few rungs, then Angel pulled her off. She spun, falling into his arms. He kissed her passionately, and she responded eagerly.
He broke off the kiss. "That doesn't mean I don't love you. And that I don't worry about you all the time, big girl or not." He set her back on the ladder. "Be careful."
"I love you too." She turned and climbed up some rungs. "And sometimes, I like that you worry," she said as she neared the top.
He smiled and moved on.
*****
She was walking in the park, looking out over the sea when she felt him. Buffy turned and saw him, stepping through a shadowed arch in a hedge. She watched as he walked out in the sun. Then he arrived to her and they kissed.
"You're wearing the Ring," she whispered when they broke apart.
"Nope," he grinned. He placed her hand above his heart, watching her eyes widen as she felt the strong pulse under his chest.
"You're … You're…."
"Yep." His grin widened, making him even more handsome than she had ever seen him.
"I don't understand." She looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes. "You're human? Really human?"
"Looks that way."
"Oh, god." She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. "Oh, God, thank you." She squeezed her eyes shut, tears of joy and relief slipping between her eyelids. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."
*****
He placed a small box next to her hand.
She stared at it, then set down her teacup. "What is that?"
"I want you to do the honors."
She opened the blue ring box. Nestled inside the creamy velvet was an insignificant-looking gold ring with a reddish pearl. "Is this the…"
"The Gem of Amarra," he finished for her. "I don't need it anymore."
She smiled and took it out of the box. "Got a hammer?"
He stood and fetched a meat tenderizer from a drawer. "Will this work?"
She took the metal cooking instrument from him gently. "You sure about this?"
"Of course."
She lifted the heavy, metal tenderizer and brought it down on the ring with force, smashing it to pieces. She held the hammer out to him.
He put his hand around hers to take the utensil. They stared at their hands, then Angel grabbed her and pulled her into a kiss. Together they stumbled into the fridge, and she jumped up to wrap her legs round his waist. He carried her to the kitchen table, swept the stuff on it away and laid her down on it.
*****
She was lying peacefully in Angel's arms with her head on his chest.
"It's a good sound," she said sleepily, tracing her hand over his heart. "Thump-thump. Thump-thump-thump."
Angel smiled. "It feels pretty amazing," he told her.
"I'm so glad we didn't logic ourselves out of this. We'll make it work, right?"
"We will."
"Angel?" She began a long while later. "This is the first time I've ever really felt this way."
"What way?"
"Just like I've always wanted to. Like a normal girl, falling asleep in the arms of her normal boyfriend."
*****
"I went to see the oracles," he told her. "I asked them to turn me back."
"What?" She exclaimed. "Why?"
"Because more than ever I know how much I love you," he said with pain in his voice.
She backed away from him.
"No," she said. "No, you didn't."
He followed her.
"And if I stayed mortal one of us would wind up dead," he said, "maybe both of us. You heard what Mohra said."
"Mohra is gone," she said desperately. "We killed him."
"He said others would come," Angel pointed out.
"They always come," Buffy said. "And they always will. But that's my problem now, not yours, remember?"
"No," he said in a pained voice. "I won't just stand by and let you fight, maybe die, alone."
"Then we fight together," she replied.
"You saw what happened last night," he pointed out. "If anything I'm a liability to you. You take chances to protect me, and that's not just bad for you, it's bad for the people we were meant to help."
"So what?" She said in a strangled voice. "You just took a whole 20 hours to weigh the ups and downs of being a regular Joe and decided it was more fun being a superhero?"
"You know that's not it," Angel said. "How can we be together if the cost is your life, or the life of others?" Buffy just stared at him a moment and he embraced her.
"I know," he said sadly. "I couldn't tell you. I wasn't sure if I could do it if I woke up with you one more morning."
Buffy sniffed. "I understand," she said. "So, what happens now?"
"The oracles are giving us back the day," he explained. "Turning back time so I can kill the Mohra before his blood makes me mortal."
"When?" She asked.
"Another minute," he answered.
She started to cry.
"A minute?" She cried. "No. No, it's not enough time!"
"We don't have a choice," he told her. "It's done."
"How am I supposed to go on with my life knowing what we had?" She asked, crying. "What we could have had?
"You won't," he said. "No one will know but me."
"Everything we did," she started.
"It never happened," he continued for her.
She frantically shook her head. "It did!" She cried. "It did! I know it did!"
She put her hand on his chest. "I felt your heart beat," she whispered.
"Buffy," he started.
They kissed and Buffy looked at the clock.
"No," she exclaimed. "Oh God, it's not enough time!"
He was crying too. "Shh, please," he whispered. "Please."
They held each other close as they cried.
"No," she whispered in his ear. "I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget."
There was a flash of light. Angel dimly heard the conversation from the previous day, overlapping her mantra. He heard her voice, the softly whispered words she was almost afraid to utter: "You set off the radar … differently. It's a quirk I'll never forget."
Her hands were on either side of his face. She was close, so close to him. Had the Oracles done it? He wasn't too sure.
Buffy kissed him gently. "I'm not mad at you. Not anymore," she whispered.
Oh, gods, how she would be, if she remembered what he had done. But her tears were gone, his heart had stopped beating. And there, again, in the back of his mind, were the soft whisperings of Angelus, his demon. He would cherish the relief from those whisperings, if nothing else from that day.
"Táim doiligh." And he was. He was so incredibly sorry for making the decision without her. But it had to be made, and fast. Before he lost his resolve, or worse, before one of them got killed. He looked at her with sadness.
She smiled and kissed him again. Her lips tasted different now. No less sweet or desirable, but different.
Just then, a demon crashed through the window.
Angel hesitated a moment as Buffy intercepted it. He grabbed the clock off his desk, lifted it over his head, and brought it down on the demon's forehead, smashing the jewel.
And that … was that. He turned and looked at Buffy. She was watching him with curiosity. "That was unreal. How did you know how to kill it?"
"It's a Mohra demon. I um, I've had a lot of time to catch up on my reading."
"Good to know." She stepped into his arms again, but he held her at a distance. "Look, I don't want you to stalk me again … unless you're evil."
He snorted in contained laughter. "No more stalking," he promised.
"I love you. Call me?" She gave him a short kiss.
"Yeah," he said shortly.
"Dad'll be worried. I gotta book." She kissed her fingertips, then held her hand up in the air, palm facing him. He gave her a short wave, and she was gone.
Angel look down at the clock. It was stuck at 9:02. He took it downstairs and put it next to his bed. He stretched out over the covers, buried his head in a pillow, and let the emotions sweep him away.
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