Summary: A letter to Angel

Time line: Future, not that far.
Spoilers: A tad bit for the S5 Buffy finale. The ending is pretty much the spoiler, so if you haven't seen the season five finale, or rather, you don't know what happens..don't read.
Rating: PG, I really always just guess on these things *g*
Feedback: If it deserves feedback, yea I'd love it!
Disclaimer: We all know that I don't own the characters :) Please, if I did I'd give them all you wonderful writers and we'd just have plain naughty fun!!! Hehe. The song is "Promised Love" by Keahiwa. (Pronounced K. a he vI) One of my local bands :0) Super awesome song. Though my fav by them is "over" and I'm gonna shut it now :p
A.N. Lyrics in // so if you want you can just skip over them, though they're really the center point of the fic. Oh, and I'm tired, but still kinda hyper from the concert I was just at. Which had choke pakalolo (the hawaiian equivalent of weed) and despite the fact that I wasn't smoking any, there was so much around there's the slight chance that I might just be kinda cooky. Just a little bit though :D hehe. If this doesn't make much sense, je suis desolé. Hehe, funny funny! Sorry, i told you, I'm kinda out of it. Anyways, the french means, I'm sorry. Which I am. I'm also sorry if I spelt it wrong...*sigh* my french teacher would be so proud. *sarcasm* Ok, now I know no one's reading anymore.

I used to not believe that you were mine. The concept was just too hard to grasp. Being with you...I couldn't have asked for anything more. You loved *me* Me, and no one else. Why? I'm still not sure if I know the answer to that. But, god, I loved that we were together. I would of rather been in your arms than anywhere else in the entire world. My safe haven from the worlds and demons of darkness. My angel.

//As I lay in your arms at night
I thank god for the gift that was you.
And as I slowly drift into the world of dreams
I saw my dream had already come true//

Remember that night in the graveyard? When I told you when I looked into the future, all I saw was you? That was true for a really long time. Even after you left. In my dreams, I always had this image that you would be there with me later on in life. We would be together, no matter what. I guess reality hit this time. Back then, I think that a lot, if not most of it, was centered around my naivety. I just assumed that you'd always be with me.

//Promised me honesty.
Promised me happiness.
Promised me you'd always be there.
Made me all these promises.
But you couldn't keep your promised love.
Promised love//

I never forgot you. I never will. There's nothing that could ever make that happen. Even if I wanted to, which sometimes I do, I couldn't forget you. Your smile, your eyes. I could stare into your eyes for an eternity and be happy. You always look at me with that intense gaze. I'll always remember that. I'll always miss it. I'll miss you. Even if I end up with someone else, they'll always be compared to you in my mind. And every time I'm walking through the night, I'll remember you walking there beside me.

//Constantly reminded of the hurt inside
Forced to be without you here.
Now I can stand and live for myself,
I no longer need you here.//

I can't do it anymore. When I came back...it was so confusing. And you were there, you wouldn't let me out of your sight. I thought everything was gonna be ok because you were constantly there with me. Every step of the way. But you left...again. How many times now? I know that you want me to have the more normal life. At least, that's what you say. I know that's not what you want, it's just what you think is the right thing to do. I don't, but I can't fight you anymore. I can't let my heart be broken again because of you. I can't open up again.

//Promised me honesty.
Promised me happiness.
Promised me you'd always be there.
Made me all these promises.
But you couldn't keep your promised love.
Promised love//

I cried myself to sleep since the month that you left. It was like the summer after graduation all over again. But worse. It was better in a way because I wasn't as young, but worse because I knew that nothing could stop the pain. Worse because I knew that was the last time I would be with you. So many tears. I don't regret them. Regretting them would be regretting you, which I don't. I just can't do it anymore. This was the last time.

//Now that my tears have stopped
I can see that I'm better off on my own.
And when you realize what you've lost
Please don't come back cause you're on your own.// I know that somehow our paths will cross again. They always do. We're the star-crossed lovers, obviously something's gonna end up happening. But I'm not waiting anymore. In fact, I'm not hoping anymore. As far as you and me, I've given up.

//Promised me honesty.
Promised me happiness.
Promised me you'd always be there.
Made me all these promises.
But you couldn't keep your promised love.
Promised love//

I love you, always. That has never changed, and it never will. Kind of a switch of roles, isn't it? I'm ending it this time. That's what this is. I'm ending it. Whatever we had, whatever we could have had, and whatever we might have, it's over.

Always,
Buffy

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