Rating: umm...I'm thinking along the lines of PG...in the meantime. Who knows what the future might bring:).
Disclaimer: nope, last time I checked, nothing was mine.
Spoilers: well...better safe than sorry: everything up to the end of season 3 can be spoilery.
Synopsis: I have a strange drive to rewrite season 3 of BtVS. I just don't seem to like the way it ended...beats me why. Anyway, so despite the fact that the original plan was to begin with "Helpless" (that's around the time everything really started getting screwed up B/A-wise), as you can see, plan's changed and I'm going to start with "Anne". If you expect to find in this series events/quotes from the original season....I seriously mean it - I'll try my hardest keeping them to the very minimum. But all in all - it's probably a yet another attempt to end the season on a more "positive" B/A level. See how it goes:).
Pairing: the conventional ships: B/A, W/O, C/X. If I decide to torture any/all of them, you'll be the first to know:).
Distribution: ask first.
Feedback: please, yes, please.

I looked into your eyes
And saw a world that does not exist
I looked into your eyes
And saw a world I wish I was in
I'll never find someone quite as touched as you
I'll never love
someone quite the way that I loved you

- Vast, "Touched"

"Buffy," Giles attempted to touch her shoulder, but she darted back from him.

"Don't touch me," she muttered, without looking at him. "Don't you dare to *ever* touch me."

"I-I wish I could turn back time, Buffy, I wish there were something I could do…say-"

"I don't wanna *hear* whatever you have to say, and I don't *care* what you can do, I don't give a damn!" she spat, holding out her hand, indicating for him to stay away from her. "I don't know you anymore!" she whispered hoarsely.

The Watcher beheld her painfully. "I-I'm sorry-"

"How could you?"

Both Slayer and Watcher turned to the entrance to the library, when Angel was standing.

"Angel," Giles gasped, turning his eyes away from the piercing dark ones of the vampire, who that moment, started towards the Slayer, suddenly, appearing completely unaware of the man's presence. "Angel, I…" he tried talking again, not at all knowing what he was going to say, or rather, what he *could* say, but he wasn't heard anyway.

"Are you alright?" Angel asked his girlfriend, reposing a comforting hand on her shoulder from behind.

She didn't even look at him, only winced his hand off of her. "Do I *look* alright?" she inquired, and he could easily detect the sarcastic mockery in her voice.

Angel looked up from her at the Watcher, all traces of softness vanishing from his eyes and being instantly replaced with composed fury. "How the Hell could you?" he hissed, but didn't move from the Slayer's side. "You were her Watcher, she trusted you! She put her life in your hands and you fed her to the Council on the first chance you got!"

Giles could only gape at the vampire, completely dumbfounded by his outburst. Angel had been staying away from him as though he was fire ever since he had returned from Hell, and only came to see him once, even then – only for Buffy's sake. Though he couldn't possibly guess how Angel would react once knowing what he had done to Buffy, given the last time Angel visited him regarding the very same subject, he shouldn't have been half as surprised. All in all, the *last* thing Giles had *ever* thought he would do was excusing his actions before the vampire. He hadn't even expected Angel to be there, he hadn't known he had heard probably everything he had told Buffy, and now that he w as in front of him face to face…he felt something he'd never thought he would feel – he felt lower than Angel. To position himself beneath the vampire on his own scale of appreciation was not only the strangest feeling, but it also frightened him, like nothing ever had before, once he realized just how true it was at the moment.

"Angel," he began, picking his words carefully, but still not able to level his gaze with the vampire's. "I understand you're upset…"

"*I'm* upset?!" He never got to finish his sentence. "What do *I* even have to do with it?! You betrayed *her*!"

"I'm not trying to excuse myself-"

"Don't bother! You put her life in danger, you're *still* putting her life in danger, it's *still* not over, there's *no* excuse for that!"

"And I'm not making any!" Giles exclaimed, involuntary endeavoring to find *something* to defend himself with. "But there is nothing I can do now! There is nothing I can do on top of what I already did." He sighed, removing his glasses and reposing them on the desk next to him. "The last thing I wanted is for everything to come to that…"

"What did you think it would come to?" the vampire asked, his voice low and loaded with anger. "You are her Watcher-"

"It's *because* I'm her Watcher that I had to do it!" the Englishman interrupted him. "The Council ordered…"

"The Council?! I don't give a damn about the Council, it's her life you put at stake here, do you even realize that?! I thought you cared about her, that you would show better judgment than a blind obedience to the Council's orders…"

"You are *not* in the position to question my feelings, or emotions, for that matter, Angel," the Watcher hissed, for the first time genuinely standing up for himself. "You, of all, have done more than enough to prove yourself unworthy of that," he scowled pointedly, without even realizing what he was saying and caused the vampire to flinch back for a moment, and allow the agony to flash briefly through the anger in his orbs.

Buffy sharply looked up at her boyfriend, and then her Watcher, and was about to say something, just when Angel spoke, both his eyes and voice reflecting guilt and disbelief at the man's choice of argument. "Whatever I did...you *don't* need to remind me. But it will never cover for you," he firmly held Giles' gaze, fortifying his words.

If it did anything other than brutally shake the Watcher back into the harsh reality he was in, it proved him once and for all there was nothing he could possibly say to his defense. "If you were standing there long enough," he sighed, "you must also know that the test is now officially cancelled. Since I told her all about it, it doesn't matter anymore."

"I've been around for a while, Giles," the vampire asserted evenly, "I know what the Watcher's Council is capable of. It's not over, and you and I both know it." He then turned his attention to Buffy, studying her for a moment, while she was doing all she could to avoid his gaze. "I'm taking her home now," he addressed the Watcher, without looking up from the Slayer . "And later, I'll figure out what to do."

The Englishman nodded, and silently retreated into his office, shutting the door behind him.

Angel put his hand on Buffy's shoulder again, peering at her tenderly. "You're ready to go?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

****

"How did you know I'd be in the library?" Buffy was the first to break the silence on their way home.

"I didn't," her boyfriend replied, then sighed. "I came because I wanted to talk to Giles again about what was going on with you."

"You knew, too?!" she stopped her walk and sharply looked up at him, her eyes wide with disbelief.

"I didn't," Angel said firmly, stopping too, then resumed his pace, and the Slayer by his side did the same. "I came to him before…I thought he knew something, but I wasn't sure…"

"Well, the way I see it, you can stop not being sure," she grinned derisively.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, but didn't look at her.

Buffy flashed him a strange look. "What are *you* sorry about? You didn't exactly screw up here."

Angel chuckled, shaking his head. "I should have picked it up before, and I didn't. I should have seen it coming and I should have been able to protect you from it."

"Newsflash, Angel, no one can't protect me from *it*." She took a deep breath, then whispered, "Not even you."

"I knew my share of Slayers," the vampire explained, "and I should have expected it from the Council."

"*Knew* your share of Slayers?" Buffy smiled maliciously. " Weren't you kinda busy killing them all?"

Angel swallowed, at loss of words, glancing at her as if she were a stranger, instead of his girlfriend. "I-I…"

But before he could say what he wanted, assuming he would be able to say *anything*, Buffy stopped and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, pressing her face into his chest, and that gesture alone proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that sometimes words were really superfluous.

Angel planted a gentle kiss in her hair, and secured his arm around her, as the two silently continued their walk.

"I didn't try to make my mark in the world by killing Slayers, as opposed to what my reputation might point at. Maybe it's because I was smarter…maybe just because I was more careful, I don't even know anymore. All I know is that I stayed away from Slayers." Angel glanced down at his girlfriend, and she leaned her head on his chest, reposing one hand by her face. "I did make it my business to learn as much as I could about them though, and the ways of the Watcher's Council, given the possibility there would come a day when facing a Slayer would be unavoidable. And I wanted to have advantage over her, when that day would come. I wanted to know my enemy," he concluded with a shrug.

"Did you also ever get to put all that knowledge into action?" she inquired quietly.

"No," he shook his head, then looked down at her, pressing another kiss to her skull. "When I finally met my first Slayer, I fell in love with her."

"Must be a lucky gal," Buffy mused.

Angel smiled. "Let's just get you home, okay? We'll decide what to do once you're somewhere safe."

"You want me to hide," she smirked. "Great."

"Staying at your mother's for a while is hardly what I would call hiding…"

"My mom?!" her head snapped up. "Now you're kicking me out of my house?! Good we're not exaggerating…"

"Buffy, what do you want me to do?" the vampire groaned. "You can't stay there."

"Why not?!"

"Because a vampire has no problem entering another vampire's home. In case you forgot that, I'm a vampire. Into your mom's home, he can't come in uninvited, hence for the time being, you're safe there."

"Let me get this straight; and with my boyfriend I'm not safe?" she gave him a look.

"Buffy…"

"No," she held up her hand. "You're not locking me inside my mom's house, or any other, and waiting for the 'big bad' to go poof on its own, it doesn't work that way! This it my fight, and like it or not, but I'm gonna fight it. And I'm gonna do it alone." With that, she accelerated her walk, leaving Angel standing speechless behind her.

****

The vampire ceased his restive pacing in front of the fireplace only when the door to the mansion opened and the Slayer silently walked through it, and closed it after her, appearing utterly oblivious to the presence of her boyfriend. Angel's eyes rested on her, and wordlessly followed her form until she disappeared behind the bedroom's door, unable to do anything but watch, inwardly trying to determine whether she was beaten more physically or emotionally.

****

When Angel entered the bedroom, several minutes after Buffy had, he found her sitting on their bed, both hands firmly clutching the linen, her glazed eyes boring into the floor. He swallowed hard and came closer, pulling a chair and loading it with a bowl of tepid water, clean bandages and tape, since he had brought with him everything he could find, not even thinking whether he would need that much of it or not. Then he walked to the closet and retrieved one of his shirts, which to a first sight appeared large enough for the small Slayer to disappear in it, and returned with it to the bed.

Angel sat down next to Buffy and unclasped her overall, and after removing it, and her shoes and socks, carefully pulled her shirt over her head, as her limbs collaborated lifelessly, and replaced it with his.

"Lie down," he prompted, and when she did, he began tending the laceration on her brow.

Buffy grimaced slightly, as he was washing away the still remaining clotted blood and dirt, but other than that, didn't make a sound.

After he had taped the gash, he gently cleared the hair away from her face and put a cool wet cloth over the welt in the corner of her left eye, but Buffy moved it from there and replaced it with his hand, closing her eyes. "Your lack of body heat can actually become handy," she murmured.

Angel smiled, stroking her face with his other hand. "What happened?"

The Slayer sniffed, wiping tears away with her knuckles. "I killed him," she said simply. "I passed the stupid test. He had…he had my mom… and he *wanted* me to come after him," her voice cracked as she brushed away more tears.

Angel didn't say anything, just watched her.

"They fired Giles," she went on, like he'd known she would. "They didn't want him to be my Watcher anymore, because he cared too much about me…and it was wrong," her voice broke into a sob. "Because I'm just a Slayer, so caring about me is *wrong*…and you get punished. They fired him because I mattered to him."

"You still do," he found himself saying, in spite of how hard it was for him to pronounce these words, given the fact he still hadn't established an opinion about her now former Watcher, following the latest turn of events. "And you always will. Him not being your Watcher anymore will never change that."

"Won't it?" she looked up at him, her eyes all but pleading with him to lie to her and promise her the last several days had been nothing but a cruel nightmare she would soon wake up from. "Is there *anything* in my life my calling didn't take from me yet?"

"What about the things it gave you?" Angel asked, offering her his trademark half-smile.

Buffy beamed feebly, covering his hand on her face with her own. "Just another 'Happy Birthday, Buffy'. I'm starting seeing the pattern here , don't you? First my dad cancels what I've been waiting for for weeks, then Giles, of all people, sticks a knife in my back…not necessarily in that order, and to top it all, Giles' fired. The Powers that Be, whatever or whoever they are, did a Hell of a job this time, too. Sure, they couldn't possibly top last year, but as far as I'm concerned, they came pretty close."

After a spell of silence, Angel pulled his hand from under hers, causing her by that to raise her head in surprise and sit up, when he suddenly left the room. But before she could do anything further, he was back, and reoccupied his former spot.

"What is that?" the Slayer inquired, referring to the book in his lap.

Angel picked it up and handed it to her. "It's…unwrapped. I'm sorry. It's for you."

Buffy eyed him inquisitively for a moment before accepting the gift, then opened the first page.

"Angel," she whispered, almost in awe, when her fingers delicately picked up the small silver Claddagh ring, lying next to the word 'Always'.

"Always," she voiced it softly, her eyes tearing up as she clenched her fingers about the ring.

"Happy birthday," Angel smiled. Buffy sniffed back her threatening tears, repaying him with an equal beam of her own. "Put it on for me?" she opened her palm, offering him the Claddagh.

Angel picked it up, and gracefully slid it on her finger, heart pointing in. "You're mine now," he whispered, and brushed his lips over the ring, just like she had done to him exactly one year ago. "Always."

"Always," the Slayer echoed, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you." She pulled back and handed him the book of sonnets, "Read me your favorite?" she requested.

Angel climbed into the bed next to Buffy, and wrapped one arm around her. She snuggled closer and rested her head on his chest, as he was leafing through pages in search for the one he was looking for.

”The face of all the world is changed, I think,
Since first I heard the footsteps of thy soul
Move still, oh, still, beside me, as they stole
Betwixt me and the dreadful outer brink
Of obvious death, where I, who thought to sink,
Was caught up into love, and taught the whole
Of life in a new rhythm. The cup of dole
God gave for baptism, I am fain to drink,
And praise its sweetness, Sweet, with thee anear.
The names of country, heaven, are changed away
For where thou art or shalt be, there or here;
And this . . . this lute and song . . . loved yesterday,
(The singing angels know) are only dear
Because thy name moves right in what they say."

"It's beautiful," Buffy mused, tracing the words with her fingertips.

"*You're* beautiful," Angel kissed the top of her head.

"I like my present," she looked up and grinned amusingly. " But I think I'm gonna need you to explain me a few words here and there."

Angel snickered at that. "It's a deal. But it's not all of your present."

The blonde peered at him questioningly. "It's not?"

The vampire shook his head. "You think you'll feel better in…three days?"

"What's in three days?"

Angel smiled, and leaned in to meet her lips in a kiss. "Tuesday."

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