Rating: umm...I'm thinking along the lines of PG...in the meantime. Who knows what the future might bring:).
Disclaimer: nope, last time I checked, nothing was mine.
Spoilers: well...better safe than sorry: everything up to the end of season 3 can be spoilery.
Synopsis: I have a strange drive to rewrite season 3 of BtVS. I just don't seem to like the way it ended...beats me why. Anyway, so despite the fact that the original plan was to begin with "Helpless" (that's around the time everything really started getting screwed up B/A-wise), as you can see, plan's changed and I'm going to start with "Anne". If you expect to find in this series events/quotes from the original season....I seriously mean it - I'll try my hardest keeping them to the very minimum. But all in all - it's probably a yet another attempt to end the season on a more "positive" B/A level. See how it goes:).
Pairing: the conventional ships: B/A, W/O, C/X. If I decide to torture any/all of them, you'll be the first to know:).
Distribution: ask first.
Feedback: please, yes, please.

And who's to blame?
I could assume
The loneliness of my white room
I saw the circles inside the squares
And yet it can be so hard to be aware

- Vast, "Three Doors"

The Slayer stretched like a kitten and burrowed her still sleepy face into her pillow.

"Want me to open it?" her ears perceived her boyfriend's muffled voice just as his cool hand lay on the small of her back.

Buffy tilted her head to the sides and moaned, "No." she rotated on her side to face him, and quickly learned he had mumbled the words still out of sleep. "Don't get up," she briefly kissed him on the temple. "I gotta wake up for school in half an hour, anyway," she muttered, and reluctantly pushed herself up from the bed, and after having grabbed a pair of sweat-pants, headed for the door.

*****

"Faith?" Buffy couldn't believe it when the person standing at the door turned out to be her sister-Slayer.

The brunette nodded uneasily. "Can I come in?"

"Umm," the blonde swallowed hard, averting her eyes for a second. "Yeah. I guess," she held the door wide open for the other girl to enter the mansion. "Sure, come in."

"I woke you up?" Faith asked, restively tugging at the hem of her shirt, as the two Slayers were proceeding towards the couches set in the main hall.

"No-" Buffy was intending to lie about that, but for some reason, unknown even to her, changed her mind in the last possible second. "Not exactly. Don't worry about it," she waved her hand. "I had to get up for school in a while, anyway, and Angel…he's still asleep and him being what he is, very unlikely to wake up any time soon."

"Oh," the brunette mouthed, her perplexed mind inwardly trying to make at least some sense from what the blonde Slayer had just told her as she sat down on a sofa.

"Can I…get you anything?" Buffy inquired, not really knowing how to handle the upcoming potential conversation. She hadn't seen Faith ever since the Slayer had disappeared, probably left Sunnydale, after killing that man in the alley. She had no idea in what state Faith was now and she had no idea what were her intentions, showing up on her and Angel's doorstep first thing in the morning out of the blue.

"What do you mean?" the brunette's head shot up.

Buffy eyed her as though she was from another planet for a moment. "You know, drink, eat…whatever you want?"

"Oh. Yeah…sure…I think so. What have you got?"

"Umm," Buffy tucked stray tresses behind her ear thoughtfully. "I have no idea, really. It was Angel's turn to do shopping yesterday...which means…I have no idea what he got." She offered a feeble sheepish grin, accompanied with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

"You got coke?"

"Maybe," the blonde shrugged again. "A second choice?"

"Water's fine," Faith stood up, looking down from the blonde Slayer.

"Okay," Buffy nodded. "Let me check." She turned to leave towards the kitchen and instantly knew the other Slayer did the same.

*****

The blonde opened the relatively small fridge and was intently eyeing its content.

"Doesn't it...freak you out sometimes?" Faith asked behind her back.

"What?" she retorted, without turning her head.

"The…blood. It being stored in the same fridge with your food. It could be…morbid," Faith grimaced. "In the gross kinda way even."

Buffy emitted a small chuckle. "Gross kinda way?" she retrieved a bottle of coke and briefly revolved to look at her sister-Slayer, her lips curved up in an amused grin. "It's not that big a deal," she turned her face back to the fridge, as if searching for something to go with the drink. "It's what Angel eats. So the blood stays. But that milk so flies," she grabbed the carton, which's date had expired long ago, and shut the fridge's door with her leg as she tossed it into the trashcan. "You get used to it, Faith, it's really not that bad," she continued, as she took two glasses from a cupboard and started filling them with coke. "Sure, it's not anywhere near my 'top ten things to keep in the fridge near my food' list, but it still happens to be what my boyfriend feeds from." She finished pouring the liquid into the glasses and closed the bottle, leaving it on the table. Then she took a pencil lying nearby and added 'milk' to the shopping list on the fridge's door. After another brief consideration, she also scribed 'peanut butter'.

After that, she picked up the glasses and handed one to Faith, motioning for the brunette to follow her back into the hall.

****

"So," Buffy sat down, and Faith did to. "Are you gonna tell me why you're here?"

The brunette looked up at her, appearing somewhat lost at the question.

"Come on, Faith, you took off without a trace…when? Like three weeks ago? You don't say anything to anyone, you don't talk to anyone, you just take off. I had no idea what was going through your head, but believe it or not, I might have not *done* it, but I was there too, and I was just as helpless as you were." She paused for a spell, taking the time to study the other Slayer. "We both saw him die, Faith," she whispered. "It wasn't just you. It was both of us. And believe it or not, I also didn't know where the Hell to put myself. I also was scared. It wasn't easy on me, if you think it was. But I didn't keep it inside."

Faith looked up in alarm.

"I talked to Angel. And he talked to me about it, he comforted me. He *helped* me. Don't you think you could have also asked for help, instead of running away? When you have someone to turn to, use it. You might not have that privilege for the rest of your life."

"*Turn* to someone?" the brunette mocked the advice she had been given. "*Talk* to someone?! To whom?! Who the Hell cares about me in this town?!"

The blonde peered at her for a long moment, somewhat in shock from her reaction, it obviously not being the one she had expected to hear. "I care," she said softly.

"Oh, really?" Faith smirked. "Why, cuz you're such a saint-Buffy?"

"What the Hell-"

"I got it, okay?! No need to rub it in my face all the time. Big deal, I *don't* have the perfect Watcher, and the perfect mom and the perfect friends *and* the perfect boyfriend! *You* do! So you can keep them, for all I care!" she exclaimed, aggravated by the Slayer's words, but mostly driven by jealousy. "I don't need no babysitting, okay? From neither of you, because neither one of you means it. If you had cared for me so much, you'd have at least made an effort to look me up!"

"You really think I didn't? How would I have known that you weren't in town all that time?"

Faith shook her head, brushing off the Slayer's attempt to reply. "You saw I wasn't at home and that was enough for you-"

"What the Hell was I supposed to do?!" now it was Buffy's turn to get angry. "Where was I *supposed* to look for you?! You trust no one, Faith, that's not everyone's problem, that's *your* problem! You're the one who screws everything up. People here could have helped you, and people here needed you to help *them*, while you took off for your little vocation!"

"You don't have the *right* to attack me!"

"I need a right?! The Hellmouth opened while you were gone, Faith, we *really* could use an extra Slayer, but *no*! she was too busy blaming others for her problems to be *available*!"

The brunette chuckled, her tone suddenly losing its angry note. "You think you're *so* right, don't you?"

"I don't wanna be right," Buffy shot back. "I'm trying to knock sense into *you* right now, but you don't seem to be interested in playing along. You say no one wants to help you? Well, I do. I wanna help you! But you're not gonna talk to me, because that would just break everything you've been working so hard to build. Running away from your problems has always been your choice, hasn't it?"

"I don't need help," she leaned forwards, closer to the other Slayer. "I'm fine," she hissed.

"Everyone needs help, Faith. But not everyone asks for it."

There was a silence for a couple of minutes, then Faith spoke again. "Do you know why I came here?"

"Enlighten me."

She let out a short laugh. "I didn't come here to hear a lecture from *you*. I came here to let you know I was back-"

"And then what?"

"You seem to have answers for everything, why don't *you* tell me?"

"That's not why you came here," Buffy shot her a knowing look. "You came here to see if you're still allowed in."

"Into *what*?" she ridiculed.

"You know what." The blonde replied simply. "So here's the news for you, Faith; you're not. You're *not* allowed in, until you pull yourself back together, because in your current state, you're causing more damage than you're helping. Until you don't understand you need help, you have nothing to do here." She eyed her pointedly.

The brunette laughed, and stood up. "You think if you give me the big-sister lectures and an ultimatum or two on top, it'll help your case?!"

"If I don't do that, you'll never understand."

"*What* do I need to understand?! That you waste so much energy on yapping about how important I am to you just to diss me on the first chance you get?!"

"I'm not against you. No one is. But I can't take that risk."

"What risk?!" she laughed. "What, you're afraid I'll bag one of your friends like I did that guy? Maybe you really should watch out then, B.." She made one step in the blonde's direction, but Buffy didn't look impressed even one bit.

"Get out," Faith heard a voice coming behind her, and turned around.

"Hello to the knight in the shining armor," she flashed Angel a grin. "I'm not hurting your girl, don't worry."

"Out," he repeated steely.

"You think I'm dangerous, B.?" the brunette ignored him and turned back to Buffy.

"More to yourself than to others," she replied evenly.

"No. To others," the brunette Slayer grinned devilishly and amusedly at the same time. "And you have *no* idea."

Saying that, she tore her gaze from her sister-Slayer, and stormed out of the door.

Buffy sighed, looking down on the floor in defeat.

Angel approached her and gathered her into his arms, stroking her back gently. "It's okay," he whispered. "It's gonna be okay."

"I don't know that anymore," his girlfriend murmured, hugging him back. "I wish I knew what I've just gotten myself into. I wish i knew how she could change like that within a few weeks."

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