Part Ten

"Hi, mom," Buffy sat on the ground next to the gray tombstone, holding two white roses in her hand, but still not putting them down. "How are you?" she spoke to the stone, not really looking at it though, concentrating more on the ground she was sitting on.

"I know…I haven't been here in a while. A long while, actually. I'm sorry. There are so many things in my life I have to tell you about, mom. I'm not sure you would be happy or not if you were here now, but…I know I would want you to…to be happy, because I am. I'm so much happier than I ever thought I could be. I'll be twenty-seven in two months, mom. God, it only makes me think…I haven't been to your grave for almost two years. I'm sorry," she sniffled, "but I swear, there wasn't a moment in my life I haven't thought of you. You're always with me, in my heart, and you will always be there. Always, I promise you." She reposed one hand on the tombstone, as the other was still holding on to the flowers.

I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate?
And do they know the places where we go
When we're gray and old?
Cuz I've been told that salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head and I feel that love is dead
I'm loving angels instead

"I don't even know where to begin," Buffy took a deep breath. "It happened, you know, the end-of-the-world fight, the last fight that would close the Hellmouth for good. It took place two years ago. We all fought, and as you can see, I'm still here. So are the others. Everyone is okay, mom. Willow, Xander, Giles, Anya, Oz…they all survived. Cordy and Angel came from LA to help us, and they brought Doyle and Gunn with them. You don't know them, but they're cool guys. Gunn is Cordelia's fiance and Doyle is Angel's best friend. I like them both. Riley was there too, he came back a couple of years after you had died, we tried it again, mom, but it didn't work. It was never meant to be, and though you liked Riley, I think that deep inside…you knew that too," she smiled to herself.

"Well, anyway, it's not worth lingering on. So, back to the battle. We won. We saved the world, yada yada yada, having been the mom of the Slayer, you know the drill only too well. Angel received his Shanshu, do you know that? He received his reward from The Powers That Be, and he became human, but…but something else happened too. He lost his sight at that fight. Could you imagine, mom? My Angel, my sweet, dear Angel, after all he'd sacrificed for others, after all the torture and agony he'd been through, they throw THIS on him. I guess it's really true, then. The most horrible things do happen to the best people. Well, it has been almost two years, and he's still blind. The doctor told us the very first day he would never see again, but I guess I was just denying it. I guess I couldn't believe that someone with a heart as good and pure as his would deserve such horrible fate. But I see it's true, because, as I said, it's been a very very long time."

And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me when I come to call
She won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead 

"I've been with him from the start. I came back to him, mom, and it was the wisest decision I've ever made, because for the first time in so many years, I could wake up in the morning, see him by my side, and know I have something, or rather someone, to live for. It'd been terribly hard on him for the first few days, and on me too. But I suppose it's the kind of things you really need to be there to understand. And I was there, mom. I was there, every step of his painful way. It's still hard. I suppose, in an aspect, it will always be that way, but we're coping. And we're doing great, and we're so happy," she grinned, glancing down on the wedding ring on her finger.

"I love him so much, mom. I love him more than words could describe, more than it's possible to love someone. And the most wonderful gift is that I somehow deserved this extraordinary man to love me just as much. I'm so sorry you never got to really know Angel. It's one of the things I'm sorry the most, because you'd never know how much you've missed. There's no one out there like him, no one. He's certainly is one of a kind…and what's better, he's MY one-of-a-kind. He's my dream came true, he's my Angel. That's pretty much sums it up, I guess.

"So, it's not Riley I'm married to, mom. Its my Angel. Could you believe it? Could you believe it's really true? I know that I've been living in this fairytale for over a year, and I still have troubles digesting it's my reality. I guess it's just too perfect. I sometimes…I sometimes wish he could see me. I don't know, I guess, I guess I just want him to look at me the way he used to. He still does, but it's not the same when he doesn't see me. I want him to see the sunlight too. He never got to see it, do you know? They never let him see the sunlight." Buffy wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.

"We don't have a house with a picket fence, mom, but we do have a house. A beach house actually, and we love it. It's great, because we have the ocean as our back yard, and you have no idea…I think it's only once you've lived there for a while, you find out just how beautiful the ocean can be. Angel loves the sea, and I have a very strong feeling it's contagious, because ever since I moved in with him, I love it just as much. We can spend hours outside, and never get enough of it. We got married on the beach. It was a simple, informal wedding, just our closest friends, and the ocean. But it was beautiful. We didn't go on a honeymoon. Angel offered to take me wherever I wanted to, but I knew he preferred not to go out, and I understand. So, eventually, we just didn't have one. But I don't care. As long as I'm with him, it doesn't really matter to me in which part of the world we are. Every day I spend with him is a honeymoon for me anyway. 

"Angel said we couldn't have children, because he was infertile. It saddened me, of course. You have no idea how many times I dreamt about being the mother of his children. But I felt even worse for him, for the good man he was, the good man who had suffered way more than anyone could ever deserve, and was now forced to endure even more. My Angel didn't deserve this. No one deserves this, but especially, my Angel. I had to accept it though. Just another aspect of the fate, proving once again how cruel it can be to the righteous of people."

When I'm feeling weak and my pain walks down a one way street
I look above and I know I'll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
She brings flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead

A smile crept to her face when she spoke again. "But you know what? I guess I misjudged fate after all," she caressed her round abdomen. "We're having a baby, mom, our first baby, in less than a month. You have no idea how happy we both were when we found out I was pregnant. Poor Angel, he couldn't believe it at first. Only after I saw three doctors, he was finally convinced I was pregnant. I think this pregnancy took much more endurance from him than it did from me. When it was conclusive, when he finally believed it was conclusive, he just dropped to his knees, wrapped his arms around my waist and cried more than I had ever seen him cry. God, mom, I…I think that this baby means to him so much more than I would ever know, and I love him so much just for that. He's always been careful and gentle with me, but ever since I got pregnant, he's been treating me like I'm a porcelain doll. And if I could only count the so many times I fell asleep having his face next to mine, and woke up having his face next to my abdomen, with his arms gently wrapped around it," she bit her lower lip. "God…mom, you know, the only thing that I would never understand is how the Hell could anyone up there ever even think of depriving him the privilege of having a child. They obviously had no idea what an outstanding father he can be. Our baby will be the luckiest baby in the world. She's not even born yet, and she's already loved so much.

"Well, we haven't decided on a name for her yet, but I'm sure we'll have found the perfect name by the time she will be born. I promise I'll see you soon, mom. And this time, it really WILL be soon. I'll even bring our baby the next time I'm here. Well, right now, I have these for you," she reposed the two long-stem roses on the ground. "I hope you like them. There's one from me, and one from Angel. Goodbye," Buffy brought the inside of her hand to her lips and kissed it, then brushed it against the tombstone. "I love you, mommy," she said softly.

And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me when I come to call
She won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead 

After about a minute, she, struggling, pushed herself to her feet, and hugging her enormous stomach with one hand, toddled towards the nearest bench, that maybe wasn't so far away, but it seemed to her it was miles.

Angel instantly stood up the moment he heard her approaching footsteps, and was ready to take her into his arms when she finally reached them.

"Are you alright, love?" he asked, tenderly brushing her hair.

"Yeah," Buffy sniffled, but still remained in the safety of his loving arms. "Don't take it wrong that I wanted you to wait here, I haven't been here in a while, and...I just wanted a few minutes alone with her," she whispered against his chest.

Angel kissed her head, cuddling her closer. "I understand. It's okay. Do you feel better now?"

"I do," Buffy smiled, "I promised her we'll come again after our baby is born."

"Of course, we will," he smiled, taking off his jacket and replacing it around her shoulders. 

"Thanks," Buffy grinned, "it really was getting chilly around here. You're sure you're not cold?"

"I'm okay," he kissed her forehead.

Buffy sighed, leaning into his warm embrace. "I hope she's happy for us, Angel," she mused, "wherever she is, I hope she's happy for us. I want her to be happy for us."

"She is happy, my love," he tightened is embrace. "I'm sure she is."

And from above, an Angel smiled down on the two of them, and she was happy.

And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me when I come to call
She won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead 

****

Part Eleven

"Where am I?" Buffy gazed around her in wonder.

"Slayer," she perceived a strange male voice. It sounded as if it were coming from afar, while in fact, it was so near. She rotated in the direction of said voice.

"Greetings, Warrior," a female, who was standing next to the male who had spoken earlier, said. Her voice too possessed a similar reverberation.

Buffy embraced herself, her eyes once again scanning the room. I was a marble hall, gleaming in tints of feeble azure, pink and white. It was misty, and the fog granted it a certain similarity to clouds. It was, in a way, somewhat enchanting…it threw her.

The two images before her threw her even more. In a sense, they resembled people. Or at least, they were wearing a human form. However, on the other hand, there was nothing human about them. The magic and mystification radiated from them, and even without knowing she was standing before the Oracles, Buffy was in awe. Their eyes were wise and sagacious as they beheld her, toned in the most unequaled tinge of blue Buffy had ever encountered. Their bodies, covered with nothing but black satin togas, were glowing in their own light, and were patterned allover with golden-blue ornaments Buffy couldn't quite grasp the meaning of, but they undoubtedly were the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

"Warrior," the male spoke this time, "step forward."

Figuring he was obviously referring to her, since there was no one else but the three of them in the room, Buffy did as told, moving closer to the two magical beings.

"You don't know…" he began.

"Who we are," the woman took it from there.

"It is the first time…"

"You are being summoned…"

"Is it not?"

"You are standing before the Oracles, Slayer,"

"The knowing ones,"

"And you are here for a reason."

*The Oracles?* Buffy strove to search back in her memory to where she heard that word before. *The forgotten day…are these the same Oracles who?…*

"Indeed, warrior," the male spoke, as if after reading her thoughts.

"But it is not the reason you were summoned before my brother and I…"

"Therefore will not be discussed."

"We have summoned you…"

"To warn you…"

"Warn you…"

"Warn me from what?" Buffy didn't understand. 

"Pick your wish carefully…"

"Make the right wish…"

"It shall have an impact on your…"

"Entire life…"

And then, the dream was over.

With the voices of the Oracles still echoing in her head, Buffy woke up.

****

"Morning," she murmured and stretched, opening her eyes only to find her most beloved smile.

"Happy birthday, my love," Angel leaned down and met her lips halfway in a mild kiss.

"Not special yet," Buffy complained playfully, "I'm lucky enough to wake up like this every morning."

Angel beamed, cuddling her on his chest. "So…how does it feel being twenty-seven?"

Buffy peered up at him for a second, then nestled back in the coziness of his embrace. "Please, don't talk about my age," she moaned, her lips brushing his chest as she spoke, "or at least, not out loud."

Angel laughed.

Buffy had to smile at that. It was so rare to hear him laugh, even though he had been doing it so much more frequently since after Alyson was born. His laughter had always been the most beautiful sound to her ears, mainly because she knew his blindness caused him to hold so many laughs back.

Buffy was aware of that she and Alyson were practically the only reason he was laughing at all these days, and that having her and their little daughter could almost amend for the lack of eyesight at times.

*And sometimes, it was the exact opposite,* Buffy cogitated sadly. She recalled the so many times she entered their bedroom, and found their daughter lying on the bed, with Angel sitting next to her, his gentle fingers tracing her face, her little hands… And she laughed, the entire time attempting to catch her daddy's finger, while Buffy, who was standing at the door, had to conjure up all of her strength not to cry.

And albeit normally, he would cooperate with Alyson's exuberant will to play, his expression remained somber, somewhat melancholic, as he kept tracing her features, in another hollow attempt to see his precious little baby. 

"I'll be right back," Buffy sniffled, pulling out of his arms and climbing off the bed.

"Are you crying?" Angel inquired, concern and misunderstanding coloring his tone.

"No, honey, I'm not." Buffy hastened to wipe away whatever tears she might have. She knew that even though he couldn't see, he could always sense whenever she was upset. "I'm okay. I just wanna get Aly," she said, while carefully picking up the baby from her crib by the window.

"Oh," he emitted, not really convinced though. "I wanted to ask you to bring her."

"Well, you've been awake for a while, obviously. Why didn't you do it yourself?" 

"You know that I can't," he mumbled.

Buffy sighed, gingerly reposing the tiny infant on her husband's chest, and she quietly continued sucking at her thumb, instantly recognizing her most favorite resting place, as her father wrapped his arms protectively around her small body.

Buffy curled up next to him, and he removed one arm from around Alyson, to encircle it around her.

"You know perfectly well what I'm afraid of," he spoke sadly, gently caressing the baby's back. "I never want to carry her from place to place, or to pick her up, because I'm scared I might drop her, or I might trip, and…"

"Angel, you're incapable of harming her," Buffy assured him.

He smiled weakly. "Buffy, I can't see where I'm going, or where I am. When the only thing you have around you is blackness, it's a little hard to keep balance. If I can drop a glass of water, I can drop a child. And I'm not risking my baby."

"Angel, do you even know how it appears from a point of view of an observer? How gentle and careful you are with her? You couldn't harm her even if you tried…"

"Buffy, please. Don't. I'm perfectly fine, just holding her like this, when there's no risk for anything to happen."

She sighed, kissing his shoulder briefly, and he squeezed her waist. 

"You know…I was wondering, in some point through your pregnancy…I was afraid, of what would happen if she were…born blind. I think I would kill myself if it happened to her."

Buffy looked at him, stroking his face gently. "Honey, it has no chance to ever happening, stop looking for things to blame yourself for, okay? In order for a baby to be born blind, one of her parents must pass on to her the impaired gene, which none of us has. You aren't blind since birth, so you can't possibly pass it to any of our kids. And I don't want you to ever torture yourself over it again, you understand me?" She kissed his jaw and reposed her head back on his shoulder.

Angel offered a weak smile, kissing her hair. "I wish I could see her," he said abruptly.

Buffy bit her lip, trying not to cry, knowing his skin would be the first place her tears would touch, and there would be no way she would ever be able to conceal them from him.

"I wish…I wish I had only one chance. Just to take one glimpse at her, this is all I want. I can live with being blind for the rest of my life, if this is really my fate, but…but I just want to see her, just once. I'm sorry," he pressed her closer to him, the second he felt her warm tears dropping on his shoulder. "I didn't want to make you cry. I won't talk about it again, I promise."

"Angel, no," Buffy brushed her tears away, "it's not that. It's me…I…I can't stand seeing what it's doing to you," she buried her face in his neck. "I love you so much."

Angel responded with a kiss on her head.

"I…you know," she sniffled, "I had a dream tonight. It's just…what you said, it reminded me of it."

"What was it about?"

"I'm not sure it was a dream at all. I think…I think I was kinda summoned by the Oracles. Could it…could it be?"

"It could," Angel nodded. "The Oracles and The Powers That Be work in the strangest ways I've ever known. Predictable or
explicable are the last words you can put in the same sentence with them. Do you remember what they told you?"

"Yeah. But I didn't understand it. They mentioned something about a wish."

"A wish? What wish?"

"That's just it, I have no idea. Do they always so cryptic? You're the expert here."

Angel grinned. "Well, as I said, they certainly are difficult to comprehend."

"Tell me about it," Buffy groaned. "They told me something like…that I have to pick my wish carefully, and that it will have impact on my entire life…I don't know."

"I honestly have no idea what they could mean by that. But you know, maybe you should ask Doyle. He still receives visions from them on rare occasions. Perhaps, he knows something we don't. He'll be here tonight for your birthday dinner, anyway."

"And here you go about my age again," Buffy rolled her eyes teasingly.

Angel laughed, planting a soft kiss on her temple.

****

"So, Cord, how're you doing?" Buffy asked Cordelia during dinner.

Cordelia sighed dramatically. "Having the pig next to me as the future father of my children, not so good," she gestured towards her fiance.

"You know you love me, darling," Gunn kissed her cheek.

"Do you know that I asked him to get me strawberries last night, and he dared to say he was tired?"

Buffy and Angel both giggled at that.

"And where was I supposed to get you your strawberries in the middle of the night?" Gunn questioned.

"Excuse me?" Cordelia dropped her fork and turned to face him. "This is your kid in there, you know," she pointed on her slightly bulging abdomen, "if he wants strawberries, it's your duty as a father to go and get them."

"Not in the middle of the night, it's not," Gunn argued.

"Angel would go if Buffy asked him to," Cordelia asserted.

Angel rose his eyes from his plate for a moment, then went on eating.

"You know, I can actually identify with you," Buffy said, "I remember how it was like to ceaselessly crave for food." 

"You never wanted something in the middle of the night," Angel pointed out.

"If I didn't tell you, it doesn't mean I didn't want," Buffy said softly, instantly regretting it.

Angel sighed silently, and Buffy covered his hand with hers on the table.

"There are so many things that are so much more important than bringing me food in the middle of the night, Angel, and believe it or not, but you were a tremendous help." 

"But I couldn't do as simple thing as to bring you food when you were hungry," he said quietly to himself.

Buffy brought his hand to her lips and gently kissed it. "I wasn't that hungry," she smiled.

"Hey, Buff, when's the cake coming?" Xander's voice broke into their private moment.

Willow nudged him in the ribs. "Do you EVER have anything on your mind other than food?"

"Hey, that's my boyfriend you're talking to!"

"Do you plead otherwise?" Willow challenged.

Anya shrugged. "He never talks about food when we have sex."

Xander choked on his chicken the moments these words left his girlfriend's lips. "Anya, honey," he looked up at her. It was unclear whether he was crimson red because of what she'd just said or because he still maintained troubles breathing properly. "Could you please not mention our sex life in public?"

Anya beheld him for a long moment. "Sorry," she said simply, and went right back to her dinner.

The rest of the table, except for Angel, who was eating quietly, a lot more concentrated on not dropping his food that on what was going on around him, stopped giggling at Xander's deadly gaze. They were all more or less used to Anya's not-so-subtle comments, but they still couldn't help themselves.

"By the way, where is Aly?" Willow asked her friend.

"Angel and I put her to sleep just before you guys came," Buffy replied.

"Oh," Willow sounded slightly let down.

"Why? What's up?"

"Will and I bought her another teddy," Oz informed.

"I couldn't help it," his girlfriend defended herself, knowing there wasn't a single time she and Oz came without a stuffed animal for Alyson, and the baby was a little more than a month old. "I just saw it in the store and I just knew she had to have it."

Buffy grinned. 

"You guys should seriously start thinking about getting one of your own," Cordelia observed, "cuz if you're gonna keep it up with the way you're spoiling Aly, you'll wind up next to them," she motioned towards Buffy and Angel. "And to think THEY'RE the real parents."

"I don't think there's a chance anyone could spoil her more, Delia," Doyle smiled, glancing at his two friends. 

"Buffy, how are you feeling?" Giles inquired, in his typical British manner. "You were rather ill after the birth, weren't you?"

Buffy smiled, rolling her eyes. "Let's not overreact, Giles. And besides, I wanna see you try to push a whole baby out of you. You won't feel so peachy after that, I assure you."

Giles blushed slightly.

"Anyway, thanks for asking," she beamed at her ex-Watcher, who was always more of a father to her, then turned towards the rest of her friends, with a false berating expression. "Nice to know someone other than my husband actually cares."

"We care!" Cordelia defended herself. "I even care the most, considering in less than six months I'm about to go through the same."

Buffy grinned knowingly. 

"I think it's the perfect time for that cake," Xander reminded.

"God, Xander," Buffy stood up. "I'm just thinking, will you ever grow up?"

Her childhood friend returned her a goofy grin.

"I'll help you," Cordelia started standing up too.

"Sit," Gunn put his hand on her shoulder, rising from his chair.

"What's gotten into YOU?" she speculated out loud.

"I'm on a crusade to prove you how much I love you."

"Is that the same crusade as 'I don't wanna sleep on the couch tonight cuz I know you're still mad at me'?" she demanded with a smirk.

He encircled his arms around her neck from behind, and plated a kiss on her temple. "When have I sinned to deserve you?" he whispered to her smiling.

"I was just wondering the same about me," she replied, unable to keep the smile off of her face. 

"You know I adore you anyway," he kissed her lips.

Cordelia grinned. "Just get the cake."

"As you wish, princess." He followed Buffy in the direction of the kitchen, but in the last minute turned around. "See? I do bring you food," he told his fiancée.

Cordelia rolled her eyes, but beamed nonetheless.

****

"Well? What are we all waiting for?" Xander questioned.

Buffy beamed, looking around at the smiling faces of everyone she had always known as her family, then her eyes set on Angel. She took his hand in hers and clasped it gently. 

He smiled. "Make a wish, my love."

She inhaled a deep breath, and closed her eyes. Then, she let the air out, blowing out all the candles.

****

Epilogue

"Well…" the female Oracle spoke.

"You picked it carefully," the male completed her.

"No, I didn't," Buffy smiled. "What I wished for was what I wanted the most."

"Indeed, it was," the female agreed.

"But it was not your wish."

"It was," Buffy asserted. 

"I any rate," the female Oracle smiled.

"It shall be done…" her brother said.

"Your wish…"

"Will come true."

"You shall have what you both desire the most."

And again, the two vanished, and Buffy woke up.

****

She opened her eyes and smiled, praying to whatever gods or powers there were that what she had just had was not merely a
dream. 

Her eyes lay on the sleeping form of her husband, who was still serenely slumbering next to her. Buffy reached out her hand,
tenderly brushing his cheek with her knuckles.

Angel beamed and rotated on the his side. Now, facing her, but still sleeping.

Buffy grinned at him, stroking his cheek. She moved closer to him, her lips almost brushing against his, when she whispered a barely heard "Wake up." 

Angel moaned. Clearly, not entirely willing to comply.

Buffy giggled at that, brushing his cheek again. "Angel, open your eyes," she whispered again, "I want you to look at me,"

The smile faded from his face, and his eyes slowly fluttered open. The moment he opened them completely, he darted backwards, half out of fear, half in surprise, and would have fallen from the bed, if Buffy wasn't much faster and pulled him back before anything like that happened.

Angel, now a lot more sedate, closed his eyes, merely to open them again only a second after. "Oh, my God," he gasped, looking at Buffy, who had tears of utter happiness shimmering in her eyes. "Oh, my God." He pulled her into his arms, and held her tightly, now crying too.

Buffy wound her arms around him, burrowing her face in his chest.

After a long moment, Angel pulled away, peering at Buffy for what resembled a forever. "You're so beautiful," he whispered,
caressing her cheek, "just like an angel."

Buffy beamed, leaning her face into his hand, and covering it with her own. "You like my birthday present?" she asked. "It might be my birthday, but the present is especially for you."

He couldn't believe her. "You…ho…how?"

She shrugged, grinning. "Thank the Powers That Be. They obviously decided to make my wish come true. I think they finally realized they owed me one, instead the one I wasted. Ever since my seventeenth birthday."

"This…was this what you wished for, when you blew out the candles?"

She nodded. "I wished you could see our baby. Guess they added a little to that," she smiled. "You know, I think we both finally need to stop crying."

Angel giggled, despite the tears that still streamed down his cheeks, and pulled her back into his arms. "My God, I love you," he kissed her neck, "I love you so much."

Buffy was the one who drew back eventually. She stood up from the bed, pulling him after her, towards the baby's crib.

She picked up their little daughter, carefully holding her out for Angel. "Take her," she urged, "you can hold her now."

Angel took the infant from her, gingerly cradling her in his arms, unable to tear his eyes off of her small beaming face. 

"Well?" Buffy questioned, encircling his waist.

Angel finally looked away from Alyson, and at Buffy, still crying. "She's an angel," he said, completely in awe from the tiny creature he was holding in his arms, "just like you." He released one hand from under the baby, and cupped Buffy's chin in it, angling her head up, and meeting her lips in a tender kiss.

"I love you," she whispered, sniffling, after the kiss had ended and only their foreheads touched. 

Angel encircled his free arm around her waist, and she clung to him. "I love you too," he replied, "I love both of you, so very very much."

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