Rating: umm...I'm thinking along the lines of PG...in the meantime. Who knows what the future might bring:).
Disclaimer: nope, last time I checked, nothing was mine.
Spoilers: well...better safe than sorry: everything up to the end of season 3 can be spoilery.
Synopsis: I have a strange drive to rewrite season 3 of BtVS. I just don't seem to like the way it ended...beats me why. Anyway, so despite the fact that the original plan was to begin with "Helpless" (that's around the time everything really started getting screwed up B/A-wise), as you can see, plan's changed and I'm going to start with "Anne". If you expect to find in this series events/quotes from the original season....I seriously mean it - I'll try my hardest keeping them to the very minimum. But all in all - it's probably a yet another attempt to end the season on a more "positive" B/A level. See how it goes:).
Pairing: the conventional ships: B/A, W/O, C/X. If I decide to torture any/all of them, you'll be the first to know:).
Distribution: ask first.
Feedback: please, yes, please.

Close your eyes
Let me touch you now
Let me give you something that is real
Close the door
Leave your fears behind
Let me give you now what you're giving me
You are the only thing
That makes me want to live at all

- Vast, "Flames"

*************

"Well?!" Willow seemed to be far more anxious than Buffy as the blonde was tarring with opening the envelope.

Finally, the Slayer tore it open and pulled out the piece of paper.

"Well?" the witch hissed nervously, practically jumping on the spot.

"Will!" Buffy gently pushed her away. She unfolded the letter and let her eyes skim over the written. By the time she looked back at her best friend, Willow was all but jumping out of her skin.

"You're in!" the witch threw her guess, trying to read the answer in her friend's profound orbs.

Buffy was silent, for only a moment, during which she managed to strain Willow's nerves even more than she already had. Abruptly, she hopped off the table she'd been sitting on, wrapping her arms around the redhead's neck, "I'm in!" she yelled, as both girls started jumping in the air, "I'm *so* in!"

"What is going on here?" Giles emerged from his office, interrupting the two bouncing friends.

"She's in!" Willow cried happily, grabbing the letter from Buffy and skipped over to her former Watcher.

"Into what, for Heaven's sake?" Giles took the letter from her.

"UCLA," Buffy announced proudly, as he was reading the written. "I'm accepted to UCLA."

"Buffy, this is wonderful," he smiled, handing the paper back to her. "I'm very proud of you."

"You understand you can't go, however."

The blonde Slayer rolled her eyes, and whirled around to face her Watcher. "No, for just one second, I thought I'd pretend I could, but then you popped up to remind me." She turned back to Giles as though waiting for him to comment.

The elder Watcher could merely sigh and look away.

"Look," she looked back at Wesley. "I know I can't go. In spite of what you seem to think, I'm *not* living in a 'Buffy dream world', where everything's shiny and I'm not the Slayer. I get it. I get how the world works and I get how my life works, and I *don't* need you to constantly remind me. Besides," she shrugged, grinned, a bit derisively, "who needs LA when you got your own Hellmouth, right?"

Willow walked up to her and put her hand on her arm in a silent comforting gesture.

"Why did you apply then?" Giles removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "Why did you try out to begin with if you weren't planning to go?"

Buffy smiled, glancing down on the envelope in her hand. "Angel's idea, actually."

Both Watchers frowned at that, but each from a different reason.

"He told me I should apply," she supplied a rather lame explanation. "Anyway, to make a long story short, he was right. It's not about being or not being able to go. It's about knowing that they want me," she grinned. "And it's good."

"You seem to refuse to understand your responsibilities," the younger Watcher remarked gravely. "As a Slayer, the fate of the world relies on you, you can't go about doing whatever you want, whenever you want. Your duty lacks that privilege. *And* you most certainly can't do anything like that behind *my* back again."

The Slayer peered at him for a moment, appearing deeply impressed. Giles knew that face only too well, and chose to disappear back into his office before he would be unable to repress his grin.

Ultimately, she spoke, her expression solemn, but her orbs laughing, "Is that the point when I salute you?"

Willow covered her mouth with her palm, sniggering behind her friend's back.

Wesley looked at her, appearing dumbfounded with her response, but in truth, not even a little surprised.

"Are you coming over to my house tonight?" the witch changed the subject once she was able to steady her voice. "History marathon. Final. Remember?"

"Wow," the blonde mouthed. "I totally forgot all about it…Will, I can't tonight, I'm sorry."

The redhead pouted. "But you said you could…and everyone's coming, Xander, Cordy, Oz…hey, you can bring Angel!" she suggested, as though grasping at straws.

Buffy chuckled. "I don't think he's gonna be bouncing off the walls from the idea of a history study-session with a bunch of kids. He's pretty much been there…" she pondered for a moment over the best way to continue the sentence. "Well, been there. Literally."

"Right," Willow acknowledged with a sheepish grin.

"But either way…Angel is the problem. I have a date tonight," she beamed excitedly.

"With Angel?"

Buffy gave her a look.

"I-I mean…I know. I just...he really asked you out? On a date?"

"Out," the Slayer confirmed with a nod. "And on a date. Though that was more or less my reaction, too. Last night, just before we fell asleep, we were just…talking, and he brought it up, completely out of the blue. He said he wanted to take me out tonight."

"Did he tell you where?"

"Nope," Buffy shook her head. "He said it's a surprise. Bearing in mind it's Angel, this should be interesting…"

"Bearing in mind it's Angel, the fact he asked you out to begin with should be interesting," Willow corrected playfully.

"May I ask something?" Wesley cut into the girls' conversation.

Buffy groaned impishly and reluctantly turned to look at him.

"Do you remember your duty to say…patrol, tonight? Or has that slipped your mind?" he asked, sounding angrier than usually.

"Wes," she sighed, smiling, "*I* have a date tonight. I know how to do my job, and have probably been doing it longer than you've been doing yours. And I'm *doing* my job. And I *don't* need your approval, or your opinion on *how* to do it better. And tonight, I have a date. Deal."

"I beg your pardon?" the Watcher looked like he couldn't believe his ears.

"You got it. But I'm still going on my date. Angel and me haven't had a night for ourselves only in months. And I *don't* think the Hellmouth is gonna pick tonight of all nights to open...actually, with my luck, it just might..."

"Giles, talk to her!" Wesley implored.

"I'm not her Watcher, as I can recall," followed the reply from inside the librarian's office.

"You think maybe you can come afterwards?" Willow suggested an alternative. "After the date, I mean?"

"Maybe," the Slayer considered for a moment. "Depends. How late are we talking?"

"We'll be hitting the books into the night, so you can basically come whenever you want. Just as long as you-"

"Come through the window," the Slayer completed. "I know the drill," she smiled.

"Sorry about that. It's just…my parents…aren't aware of anything that's going on in the house as long as you don't come through the front door in the middle of the night."

Buffy nodded. "Deal. No front doors."

"Is Angel gonna be okay with you staying in my place overnight?"

"I don't think I'll stay that long...and...not really," Buffy admitted after a brief reflection, "but I'm not sure I will be either. It's just…it's gonna be the first night in months we're gonna spend apart from each other. It already feels weird."

"Sweet," Willow beamed.

"Yeah, I guess 'sweet' could work, too," her friend observed. "I don't know, just…whenever we're separated, even for a little while, I feel like a part of me is ripped out. I can't even explain it, it's a cliche, I know…but I can't stand it when he's not right next to me, when I can't just…reach out and…touch him, only to make sure he's really there," she beamed. "And it's the same for him, I know."

"It's sweet," Willow smiled. "You two are sweet."

"Yeah, we have our sweetness moments, too," the Slayer laughed.

*******

"Well," Buffy remarked, after a long silence from both her and the vampire by her side, unsure of what to make of their date.

"Well…" the vampire picked up the lead, also unsure of what to say. "That was…a good movie."

"We didn't see the movie, honey," she reminded him. "We were busy."

"And God knows there was a lot to…*see* in it."

"Angel!" she shot him a mischievously astonished grin.

"It was a horrible idea, wasn't it?" he finally made up his mind. "I just wanted to take you out, you know…to do something different for a change…something fun…you know?"

"Do define 'fun'."

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

"No, Angel, don't!" she stopped, and faced him sharply, putting her hands on his chest. The fact he had asked her out alone meant to her so much more than she would ever be able to express with words, and it didn't even matter to her *where* said date would take place. And leaving him feeling that bad about that gesture was simply unacceptable. "That was…that was a good…a good thought. It was a nice thought, I enjoyed it. I really did," she smiled.

He smiled, too, more at her attempt to make him feel better than due to sharing her opinion.

"I'm just sorry that…I'm sorry it got us worked up, that it got *you* worked up and…wait, I'm *not* sorry, I…"

"I know what you mean," Angel grinned feebly, gently stroking her cheek with his knuckle.

"I know it made you worked up, because I know *for sure* it made *me* worked up," Buffy muttered, "which is…" she gazed up into his dark fathomless orbs, suddenly feeling herself drowning in their depth, "completely out of place…for…for us," she whispered inaudibly.

The vampire looked down, gulping. "What if it shouldn't be?" he wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and drew her closer.

"What do you mean?"

He held her gaze for several moments, not saying anything.

Eventually, the Slayer wetted her lips, averting her eyes from the vampire and pulling out of the circle of his arms. "Maybe it's a good time for me to go," she observed breathlessly.

Angel swallowed, reluctantly releasing her from his embrace. "Go…" he echoed softly.

"Yeah," Buffy sighed, growing even more uncomfortable.

"Yeah," Angel nodded. "You really-you really should go."

They were standing together for several moments, before Buffy stood on her tiptoes and perked a kiss on his lips. "I'll be at Willow's if you need me. I'll get back soon."

Angel nodded, and after she had already slipped out of earshot whispered, "Okay."

*********

When Buffy entered the mansion over three hours later, she was welcomed with a sight she had never seen before. Various burning candles were scattered allover the place, and were the only light other than the flaming logs in the fireplace. Two parallel rows of candles framed a path that started almost right at the door, and led further into the mansion, towards the bedroom.

"Angel," she whispered, gazing about herself in utter astonishment, her eyes lingering over each white burning candle in awe, amazed by the enchanting romantic glow they all spread about their surroundings. She seemed to have never seen anything more beautiful.

Suddenly, two arms snaked around her from behind, surprising. "Don't turn around," he whispered in her ear.

Buffy giggled, covering his hands with hers. "Okay."

"Close your eyes," he asked softly.

"Okay," she beamed, instantly complying with his request.

Once she was ready, Angel released her waist and walked around her. He took her hand, leading her blindfolded to the bedroom.

*************

"Can I open them now?" the Slayer inquired, when they stopped.

No reply followed for a short while, then Angel spoke again, "Yes."

She did, and her mouth hanged slightly open in awe, when the room came into her view. It, just like the hall they'd just left, was filled with dozens of burning candles. Her eyes wandered over to the king-sized bed and she found the cover had been lifted and the neat white sheets and cushions had never appeared more tempting. In the middle of the bed, there lay a single long-stemmed delicate white rose.

When she was finally able to uproot her feet from the floor, she made a few steps towards the bed and picked up the flower, bringing it to her nose to inhale its aroma.

Angel came up behind her, and put his hands on her shoulders, making her turn around.

"Why did you do that?" she finally asked the question, the sparkle in her orbs reflecting the amazement she still was unable to shake off.

"I want to…I want to wake up next to you tomorrow," he said, obviously searching for the right words as he attempted to verbalize his thoughts. "And I want to make love to you tonight…" he swallowed, pausing for a moment. "I don't wanna be afraid to make love to you, and I don't wanna be afraid to wake up with you in my arms after that. I want tonight to be something we never had before. I want tonight to be the first time when everything that's so right wouldn't feel so wrong. I want you to let me love you tonight," he stroked her cheek as he looked intently into her glazed eyes.

Buffy raised one hand to cup his face. "I love you," she whispered, putting the rose aside and taking his hand. She made a few steps backwards and sat down on the bed, reaching for Angel's other hand and drawing him over to her.

He stilled above her for a moment, then leaned down and met her lips in a kiss, urging her chin upwards with his index finger.

She moved back a little, allowing him space to climb over her on the bed, and without parting their lips, Angel gradually lowered her on the sheets, positioning his body on top and wrapping her in his arms.

And for the rest of the night, they lost themselves in each other.

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