It Hurts

by Marieta

Disclaimer: `Buffy' Franchise belongs to Joss and whichever network has happened to bid the highest this season
Rating: Watch show, read this- PG15
Summary: Buffy season six diary entry. Angsty. Depressing.
Spoilers: Minor S3- Amends, S6- all
Distribution: Mine
Dedication: Everyone who made Buffy what it is/was
Feedback: PlZ PLZ PLZ Anything back I can get I WANT:P PLZ PLZ PLZ
A/N: Buffy POV
A/N2: This is the second thing Ive had the guts to post so please be kind, un-beta'd, Here goes…



You can stay here if you want
You can go from me
The sadness deeply rides me
I find it suffocating


I want to fly
I want to leap
I want to love, but I die from hate
I hate myself, what I've become
Everything is consuming- everything is hateful
It seeps here to me, inside my core


I get so sad and I try to cry but I cant
I never do
I store my tears


This loneliness is harsh
And I have only myself, my supposed strength
Strength from Slayer
Strength from girl
I honesty don't know anymore


They talk all to me, ME the girl they know, love, embrace
Sharing, weeping, smiling
But it does nothing for me
`Oh', how I wish I were not there at all, for their
indifference
tears me

I over exaggerate and want too much but doesn't everybody?
`And I hate it! I hate that it's so hard, that it hurts so
much'
Those lines ring true again


In silence I stay
It goes on all around me
They never know what they do to me
They can talk, tell jokes and laugh until stitch
Bringing my emotions to fevered pitch


They talk more and I listen intent
I am drawn and pulled
To them
To their humanity
It hurts my heart to be so dependent
And I hate myself just a little bit more


Kill me now thrice someone please!
So that my soul can FINALLY be soothed

The End

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