Disclaimer: I only own the kids. And it is so NOT my fault that theynamed the Wiccan chick Tara. I so used that first ...
Distribution: Um, okay. The first little holiday fic is at http://members.dencity.com/Megg/aperfectholiday.html ... it'sThanksgiving happy fic!
Notes: Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, and various othernondenominational holidays! Or something like that.
Couples: B/A, C/D, X/A, G/J, W/O
"We wiiiiish you a merry Chriiiiistmas, we wish you a merrrrrryChristmaaaaas, wewiiissssshhhhh-"
"Kelley! Shut up!" Christopher demanded.
"Why should I?" Kelley asked defensively.
"For one thing, we're Jewish!"
"Nah-uh. Daddy's Christian. Or he was!"
"But we celebrate *Hannukah*, which is over."
Kelley frowned. "Well, I know it's over, but that's why we should singfor Daddy. Daddy!Daaaaddy!"
"Mom! Make Kelley shut up!" Quinn begged, coming into the family room."Tell her wedon't celebrate Christmas!"
Willow quickly descended the steps, kissing each child on the forehead.
"Morning. Didyou sleep well?"
"I was fine until Kelley woke me up!" Quinn whined.
"Stop your complaining," Willow scolded him. She looked at Kelley. "AndKelley, whydon't you tone it down until your father at least wakes up."
"Well I was going to wake him up." Kelley jutted out her lower lip.
Willow laughed. "I think you were going to succeed, too, but I wouldn'trecommend it. Doyou have all your presents for the cousins, Sweetie?"
Kelley nodded vigorously. "I made an ABC book for Daniel, cause soonhe'll be able toread."
"Really," Willow said, amused. "I'm glad. Now, since everyone else willbe busy thismorning with Christmas-y celebrations, I promised we'd bring fruitsalad."
"We don't have any cans," Christopher cut in.
"We're making our OWN."
"Hey, Mommy?" Kelley asked. "Is Aunt Buffy pregnant?"
Willow frowned. "I don't think so ... why?"
"Because I called her up one night and she got mad. She said she was*very* busy withUncle Angel and she kept breathing funny and could I please call backlater?"
Willow's mouth dropped open. "A-And you think she was ... gettingpregnant?"
Kelley's mouth dropped open. "No! Mommy!" Kelley shook her head. "It'sjust that AuntAnya was really mean like that when she was in the hospital with Daniel,and even whenshe wasn't, so I was just thinking-"
"Uh, Honey, let's go make salad. And from now on, don't call Aunt Buffyat night."Willow shook her head, her cheeks still tinted pink, avoiding the annoyedlook she wasgetting from her son.
"Why not?" Kelley asked.
"Because she's a nymphomaniac," Christopher muttered.
Willow shot her soon a look. "Don't ever say that again," she snapped.
"What's a nymphomaniac?"
"A ... uh ... um, a very nice person."
"Oh! I have to tell Aunt Buffy and Aunt Anya and Uncle Xander and Daddyand-"
"No!" Willow cried. "Y-You can't."
"Why not?" Kelley frowned.
"Uh ... it's in Swahili. They won't understand and they'll think it's aninsult."
"But-"
"No buts. Come on."
*****
"Mommy ... time t'get up!" Tara squealed, rushing into her parentsbedroom.
"Tara ... go back to sleep ... it's too early."
"It's at nine-zero-two! Time t'get up!"
"Nine-zero ... oh, nine-oh-two? That's too early. Go back to bed."
Tara disregarded her mother's comment, climbing up onto the bed andjumping up anddown. "But now I'm *four*!"
"So?"
"So you should get up for my birthday."
"Your birthday was three days ago," Cordelia informed her daughter. "Andyou gotpresents."
"But for a bweeated ... berlated ... belarked ... uhh ..."
"Belated?" Cordelia suggested.
"Yeah! For *belated*."
Cordelia sighed. "All right, Tara, Miss Four-Year-Old. Let's get yourdaddy up and godownstairs and ... where is he? Doyle ..."
"Downstairs!" Doyle called back.
Cordelia sighed. "Earlybirds, the both of you."
"Is that bad?" Tara took her mother's hand and nearly pulled her down thestairs.
"I suppose not." Cordelia sighed.
"Of course not," Doyle cut in, wrapping an arm around Cordelia andtwirling her aroundwhile Tara laughed gleefully.
"Hot chocolate?" Doyle offered mugs of hot chocolate to both Tara andCordelia, both ofwhom accepted with a smile.
"Daddy? Is it present time? I made you a T-shirt!" Tara ran to grab ahalfway wrappedpackage from under the tree. "It says 'World's Best Daddy', an' on theback it says 'ILove Ireland'. I wrote it allll by myself!"
Doyle smiled and took the present from his child.
*****
"Wow, thanks, Mom!" Lucia said, looking to her mother.
"You're welcome." Buffy smiled from her place on the couch in Angel'sarms.
"They smell nice," Casey said with a smile, holding up a basket of blackand red candles.
"They better! I had to go all the way to Los Angeles for those. Cinnamonand ...something."
Casey looked for a label, didn't find one, and shrugged. "So we're goingto Grandma'slater, right? And Aunt Willow and everyone will be there?" she askedanxiously.
Buffy smiled and nodded. "Yes. Everyone will be there. Even Christopher."Casey blushed, but shook her head. "I don't care if Chris is there ornot."
Buffy gave her a knowing look. "Okay, Casey. Why don't you go get readynow?"
"I'm *not* wearing another flowery dress. Not even for Aunt Anya."
"Wear something decent, at least," Buffy instructed.
Casey shrugged. "Fine. I guess."
"You could wear the pants that match your hair!" Lucia suggested.
"You bought red pants?" Buffy asked.
"I've had them since before I dyed my hair red."
"Your hair is a different color every holiday, Casey." Buffy sighed andshook her head."I'm trying to be supportive. Really, I am trying. Just go get ready."
"*I'm* going to wear my pretty blue dress," Lucia announced.
Buffy smiled and nodded, curling closer to Angel. "That's a good idea.,Luci-a. Lucia."
Lucia nodded and scurried up the stairs after her sister.
Once they were gone, Buffy turned to give Angel a lingering kiss. "MerryChristmas."
"Merry Christmas," he responded, grinning.
"Maybe we can stay here for Christmas," she paused to kiss him, "And thekids can go toMom's," she kissed him again, "And we can just have our own Christmascelebration.What do you say?" She gave him a pleading smile, fiddling with thebuttons on his shirt."Please?"
"Sounds like a great idea," Angel responded, and Buffy grinned. "But Ithink everyonewould wonder and Xander would probably come and get us and drag us toyour mother's..."
Buffy sighed in defeat. "You're probably right. Damn it."
"There's always later," Angel reminded her. "Aren't the kids going toWillow's tonight?"
Buffy's smile widened again. "That's right ..."
*****
"Waaaah!"
"Shhh, shhh," Anya whispered to the baby in her arms. "It's Christmas.Stop crying."
"He's four months old, Anya, I don't think he understands."
Anya shot him a look. "He has to learn sometime!"
"But I doubt this will be the time. Do you have the diaper bag and thepresents?"
"Do I *look* like I do?"
"Uh, no. I'll get them."
Anya nodded, rocking Daniel in her arms. "We're going to see Grandma!"She turned tocall to Xander, "Hey, Xander, how come we don't ever go see anyone else'sparents?"
"Because everyone else's family is dysfunctional!" Xander called back.
Anya frowned, then nodded. "Oh. Yeah."
Xander finally found the bag of presents and help it up triumphantly."Ready to go?"
"Uh ..." Anya made her way over to the mirror. "Yeah. Yeah, all ready togo!"
Xander opened the door and made a face. "It's raining."
"What?"
"Rain. It's pouring."
Anya growled. "It's Christmas! It can not be pouring!"
"I'm sorry, Sweetheart, but it can and is."
Anya stamped her foot. "Not. Fair!"
Xander winced. "Come on. We're going to be late."
"I don't want to go out in the rain."
"Close your eyes, grab an umbrella. Either way, we're going. Clear?"
"Clear," Anya agreed, sighing in defeat.
Xander grinned. "Good. Now out the door."
*****
"Good Lord, Joyce, what are you doing?" Giles frowned, watching herattempt to string aset of lights around the window. "Isn't it a little ... late to be doingthat? After all, it isalready Christmas."
Joyce turned to frown at him. "It is not and I'm hanging up lights!"
"The children ... er ... the adult children and their children ... er ...the *family* will be oversoon and the dinner is not ready."
"Cook it yourself," Joyce suggested. "I put lasagna in the oven. There'snothing for me to*do* with it, anyway. It'll be done when it's done, and until then I havepretzels andHo-Ho's."
"Xander?" Giles asked.
"Xander," Joyce confirmed. "Now, help me string these up."
*****
"Mommy, there's no other cars here. We beat them all and Grandma isn'teven *our*Grandma!"
Willow smiled at her daughter. "Probably because they're still openingChristmaspresents."
"Shouldn't we get presents on Christmas *and* Hanukah?"
"I don't think so," Oz said. "You get presents for eight days, remember.They only get itfor one."
"Oh ... yeah ... but ..."
"Go ring the doorbell," Willow suggested, trying to balance bread and thebaby while Ozheld the presents.
Kelley ran over to the door and leaned onto the doorbell, sending a long,shrill soundthrough the house.
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Joyce chirped from inside, pulling open thedoor and running ahand over her light hair. "Willow! It's so good to see you." She huggedWillow. "AndOz!"
"What about us?" Kelley demanded.
Joyce knelt down to hug her 'grandchildren' as Giles came into the room.
"Grandpa!" Kelley yelled, leaping into his arms. "Lucia and Casey aren'there yet? I have a*big* secret to tell Lucia! And," she added in a stage whisper, "I thinkChris and Caseyshould hook up for Christmas."
"Shut up," Christopher demanded.
"You don't have to be mean!" Kelley said, running into the kitchen."Oooh, cookies! CanI have one, Grandma?"
"Be my guest." Joyce smiled.
"I brought you a present," Quinn said shyly, presenting Joyce with alumpy package. Hekissed her on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, Grandma."
At that moment, the doorbell rang and the oven buzzed.
"Rupert, will you get the door?" Joyce asked, setting the present on thetable and hurryinginto the kitchen.
Giles opened the door to find Casey and Lucia, both wearing winterjackets.
"It's c-c-cold," Lucia shivered. "I'm c-c-cold."
"Well come into the house, then!" Giles smiled at hisalmost-granddaughter.
Joyce set the lasagna on the table and held out her hand. "Coats?"
Everyone took off their coats and handed them to Joyce. She frowned."Casey, where inthe world are your parents?"
Lucia cut in to answer. "Right there ..." she pointed out the window.
Everyone turned to look out the window, only to see Buffy and Angelstanding closetogether on the porch, their mouths melded together.
"Oh." Joyce nodded quickly, then hurried off to hang up the coats,muttering somethingabout, "Acts like a teenager," to herself as she went.
"Hey ... look what we dragged in!"
Kelley and Lucia both whirled around. "Uncle Xander!"
Xander put the car seat holding Daniel on the floor and scooped up Luciaand Kelley asthey came flying at him, twirling them around in the air before settingthem down.
"Mommy!" Lucia suddenly cried. "You came in!"
Buffy smiled, her arms around Angel. "Xander made us come in."
"I didn't want you two to pass out from lack of oxygen." Xander shruggedinnocently asAnya picked up Daniel, rocking him back and forth.
"Cordelia and Doyle aren't here yet?" Buffy surveyed the room, findingGregory crawlingacross the floor, Quinn playing on the computer, Kelley trying to dragLucia out of theroom, and Casey and Christopher sitting together on the couch, she noted.
"No, they're running late, I guess. And they're closer than us," Willowshrugged.
"Hey ... what are you two whispering about?" Xander asked Kelley andLucia.
Kelley giggled. "It's a secret!" She grabbed Lucia's hand, dragging herinto another room.
"What's the secret?" Lucia asked when they were out of earshot ofeveryone else.
"A secret word. I'm not supposed to tell, 'cause it's in Swahili, andsome people thing it'sbad if they don't understand, but I'm going to tell you what it means, soyou won't thinkit's bad and mean, okay?"
"Okay!" Lucia agreed.
"Ever heard of a nymphomaniac? It means a really nice person," Kelleysaidmatter-of-factly.
"Who told you that?" Lucia asked.
"Christopher said it and Mommy explained the meaning. Chris must *really*think AuntBuffy is cool 'cause he was saying good things about her. In Swahili!"
"Ohhh really?" Lucia grinned. "I didn't know your mom spoke Swahili!"
"Me neither!" Kelley shrugged. "I guess so. But don't tell anyone, okay?It's supposed tobe a secret."
"But can't we say it to grown-ups? 'Cause they'll know it's good."
Kelley frowned. "I guess so, but Mommy said not to. Maybe we can tellthem before theyleave or something, but not yet. That way I sort-of kept my promise!"
Lucia nodded, giggling. "Okay."
"Girls? What are you chortling about?" Willow called. "It's dinner time!Aunt Cordeliaand Uncle Doyle and Tara are here!"
Lucia and Kelley hurried down the stairs. "What does 'chortling' mean?"Lucia asked.
"Giggling. What was that all about."
"Nymphomaniacs," Lucia supplied.
"Lucia!" Buffy snapped, surprised. "Where did you learn that word?!"
"I ... um ... I ..."
"Casey! Your hair! It's red!" Cordelia suddenly cried.
Casey stopped her conversation with Christopher to reach up and touch her"blazingcherry" hair, which she had reluctantly let her mother curl and style ontop of her head."Yeah ... I guess it is ..."
Cordelia shrugged. "Oh, well, I think I like it better than the black ...and you aren'twearing black for the second holiday in a row!"
"Sure I am," Casey protested. "My tank top is black."
"Yeah, but it's under a red shirt so you just look ..."
"Normal?" Casey suggested.
"No, that sounds mean ... different," Cordelia suggested.
Casey shook her head, smiled, and stood up to hug Cordelia. "MerryChristmas."
"Merry Christmas. Are we ready to eat? I'm starved, and Tara talked myear off the wholecar ride."
"Sorry, Mommy," Tara said.
"No, it's a good thing," Doyle protested, and Cordelia nodded.
"Dinner!" Joyce called, and everyone hurried to the table.
"What about presents?" Tara asked.
"Tara," Cordelia scolded.
"Afterwards," Joyce promised, serving slices of lasagna.
"So," Buffy said when everyone had been served their meal, "What iseveryone's favoritepart of the holiday season? *Besides* the presents."
"No school!" Quinn piped up.
"It's my birthday," Tara murmured.
"We get to spend time with our family ... and friends ...and significantothers ... and Mom,stop giving me that look, I meant about *you* ..."
"Do you have something you want to share?" Buffy looked from Casey toChristopher,who were playing footsie under the table, and grinned.
Casey immediately pulled her legs under her, fixing her eyes on her food."No, nothing,why would you say that?"
"No reason ... but that was a good reason you had for the holidays,"Buffy said. "Lucia?What about you?"
"I'm thankful for ... um ..." Lucia trailed off, looking at Kelley.
"Luci?" Buffy picked up her wine glass and took a sip.
"Lucia," Lucia corrected. "I'm glad that ... um ... we have a big familyof nymphomaniacsa-"
Buffy choked on her wine. "EXCUSE ME?!" she sputtered.
"Kelley!" Willow hissed, although she was glaring at Christopher.
"It's Chris's fault! He's the one that said that Aunt Buffy --"
"She thinks it means 'nice person' in Swahili," Willow supplied,embarrassed.
"Why would she think that?" Buffy frowned and rubbed her throat. "Ouch.Wine wentdown the wrong thing ..."
"I told her --"
"That Mom what? What did you tell her?" Casey demanded of Christopher,glaring at him.
"I ... uh ... I ..."
"He said Aunt Buffy was a nymphomaniac ... I guess he thinks you're*really* nice tospeak in a whole nother language about you!"
"Why would you do that?!" Casey demanded. "You damn --"
"Kelley called her up and she got mad because she was trying to havesex!" Christophersaid defensively.
Buffy groaned. "Oh gosh ... Kel ..."
Kelley's eyes widened. "REALLY?"
"N-" Buffy began, but Quinn cut her off.
"Of course, that's what grown-ups *do* at night because they want to makeus sick."
"Quinn," Willow snapped.
"What? That's how babies are made!"
"Really? See, Mommy, I was right!" Kelley said.
"Right about what?" Casey asked, alternating between glaring atChristopher and glaringat her mother.
"I said she was pregnant cause she was being mean like Aunt Anya whenAunt Anya waspregnant and --"
"I was not!" Anya cut in. She turned to look at Xander, but he had gottenup to get thenow-crying baby. "Xander! Was I mean?"
"Yeah ... no! No, Honey, of course not, you were perfect."
"See?" Anya said triumphantly.
"So I get a little sister?" Lucia asked. "Cool!"
"No!" Buffy cried.
"A brother?" Lucia sighed. "Okay."
"No! I'm not pregnant, okay?" Buffy growled.
"Shhhh," Angel soothed her, kissing her hair. "She's just curious."
"Yeah, well --"
"SILENCE!" Giles yelled.
The room immediately grew quiet, everyone looking at Giles.
"It's Christmas and here we are giving everyone headaches because therewas a slightmisunderstanding of a word."
"Lot more than that," Casey muttered.
"Dinner is getting cold," Giles continued as though he had not heard,"And I would like todistribute the expensive presents I paid for."
"Oooh!" Tara squealed. "Yay!"
*****
"Is that it?" Kelley asked.
Willow yawned. "That's all, Kel, and it's about time to go. I'm beat."
Oz nodded in agreement, wrapping an arm around his wife.
"Tara, ready to go?" Cordelia asked, slipping into the jacket Doyle heldout for her andthen kissing him gently.
"Ready!" Tara agreed, grabbing a plastic bag with presents in it.
"Race you to the car," Kelley told Lucia, and they both took off runningfor Willow andOz's van.
Oz picked up the remainder of the bags belonging to their family andkissed Joyce on thecheek. "Thanks," he said, before ushering Quinn out the door.
"I'll see you guys in a week!" Xander called. "New Years!"
"Out, out, out," Anya demanded good-naturedly, grabbing the handle toDaniel's car seat,and following her husband out the door.
"Ready to go, Sweetheart?" Angel whispered to Buffy, pulling her closerto him.
She nodded, looking up at him with shining eyes. "Merry Christmas," shewhispered back,leaning up to kiss him.
"You two have a good night," Willow ordered with a smile, picking upGregory, who wascrawling across the floor in his pajama's.
"Do you have everyone?" Buffy asked, her fingers laced through Angel's.
"Just have to get Chris and ..." Willow trailed off, smiling broadly,when she sawChristopher and Casey. They were both asleep on the couch, and Casey hadcurled upagainst Christopher in her sleep.
Buffy grinned. "That's a Kodak moment."
"I'm a Kodak person," Joyce supplied, snapping a picture.
"That'll either be blackmail or a keepsake," Buffy said as she and Angelmoved to leave.
They looked at each other, then said in unison, "Blackmail."
Go to the next story Luck O' the Irish