RATING: PG 13
SPOILERS: Everything through season 3 is game. This takes place in season 4 but I wrote it a year ago.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. The two song lines belong to Sarah McLachlan.
NOTES: I haven't sent this to the list, but now I am 'cause Rose asked me too. Love ya, girl!
SUMMARY: The gang plays the infamous gang and secrets are revealed.

Willow Rosenburg looked at Buffy Summers in surprise. "Are you sure? 'Cause Angel hardly ever visits, actually, this is like the first time, I thought you two would want to spend it alone..."

"He'll be here all weekend. Saturday'll be alone time. Sunday'll be alone time. Friday night is gang time. All of us."

"That's great!" Willow squealed. "I missed Angel and Cordy. Er, but, not like you. Right."

Buffy laughed. "Right. See you my place, tonight, 10?"

"See ya!" Willow agreed.

*****

There was a knock on the Summers' door and Buffy hurried to open it, finding Angel standing on her front porch in the light drizzle that was threatening to become more.

"Angel!" she cried, launching herself into his arms. "God, I've missed you."

"I missed you, too," he whispered, holding her close to him. He leaned down to kiss her, but stopped and pulled away, getting a sigh from Buffy.

"I know, I know, we shouldn't."

"Right," Angel agreed, shutting the door behind him. "How's college been for you?"

"Thanksgiving vacation!" Buffy declared.

"That wasn't the question." Angel smiled.

"It's been fine...it's hard. Really, really, really hard. Did you go to college?"

"As in, did I go to night school in the New York ghetto? No."

"Well it's hard," Buffy reiterated.

"I got that part."

"Oh, and I...um, invited the gang over. Is that okay? Just for tonight. I want to spend the rest of the weekend with you."

"Sounds fine. I wonder where Cordelia is? She was following me..."

"Probably broke a nail," Buffy muttered, walking towards the kitchen, where her mother was standing.

"Oh, uh, h-hello, Angel," Joyce said nervously. She hadn't talked to him since their May conversation.

"Hello, Mrs. Summers," Angel responded politely.

Buffy grabbed a bowl of chips and a six-pack of Pepsi. "Chips?"

Angel shook his head. "No, thanks."

Buffy shrugged. "It's past 10. They should be here any minute." A crack of thunder was heard outside.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. A moment later, the door flung open and Cordelia stormed in, drenched, with Xander, Willow, and Oz on her tail.

"They showed up at the same time," she fumed.

Buffy came into the hallway. "Chips?"

Cordelia opened her mouth to spit out an insult, but Xander saw that as the opportunity the stuff a chip down her throat. After much coughing, she choked out, "Creep!"

"Snob," he replied cheerfully. He looked at the rest of the gang. "Wanna do something?"

"No!" Cordelia declared. "I'm soaked!"

"Why did you even come?" Xander asked.

"'Cause...'cause Buffy's my friend," Cordelia grudgingly admitted. "And so is Angel."

"Ohhhh," Xander replied knowingly.

"Do you guys want a towel or blow-dryer or something?" Buffy offered.

"Yes! Preferably a nice, big, fluffly towel..." Cordelia stripped out of her long coat. "Uh, never mind. Not wet anymore."

Buffy sighed and Willow giggled. Joyce came in from the kitchen, where she was cooking herself stir-fry, and hung up the five coats.

"Buffy, I'll make you and your friends some popcorn, and after that maybe I'll cook up some hot chocolate. With the little marshmellows, I know how much Spike loved 'em..."

"Speaking of which..." a British voice said from the doorway.

Angel groaned. "Spike!"

"Hey, I'd watch it, Uncle Tom. I've been watching your girl's back."

"Yeah, literally," Angel muttered.

"Angel, Spike, enough!" Buffy demanded. She turned to Angel. "He has been. Helping, that is. And I can't kick him out, so I guess he's here to stay." She turned to Spike. "And you be good, or you're going to regret coming here!"

"Fine," Angel and Spike hissed in unison.

"Hey!" Willow suddenly cried. "I know what we can do that we can all agree on!"

"Seven Minutes In Heaven?" Xander asked hopefully.

Willow sighed, then perked up again. "Truth or Dare!"

Everyone looked doubtful, but Willow continued. "We'd fine out surprising new stuff about everyone or watch them...watch them quack like a duck!"

"A duck," Buffy repeated, and Willow blushed.

"I think it sounds like a great idea," Oz declared, and Willow grinned.

"Me too," Cordelia chimed in, mentally plotting Xander's downfall.

Buffy shrugged. "Okay. Truth or Dare it is."

The gang made their way into the living room and seated themselves in various places. Buffy sat at Angel's feet, silencing his protests with a look.

At that moment, Joyce walked in, arms full with popcorn. "Here you guys go. I'm going to put some laundry in the machine and then make hot chocolate."

"With lots of marshmellows, right, Mum?"

Joyce sighed and smiled. "Right, Spike."

Buffy looked ready to yak. "Game?" She turned to her mother. "Thanks, Mom. Flip on the CD player on the way out, will you?"

Joyce nodded, glad her daughter was having fun, even if it did involve that...that man.

Buffy grabbed a handful of popcorn and passed the bowl to Xander, while Willow and Oz munched on the other one.

"So...who wants to go first?" Willow surveyed the group.

Buffy shrugged, grabbing a can of Pepsi.

"I will," Spike finally said, sighing. "Red, truth or dare?"

Willow looked beyond nervous. "I, uh, I, uh, truth." She figured there was nothing major in her life, therefore nothing could be embarassing.

She was wrong.

"So, Red, how far have you and Wolfy gone?"

Willow wanted to curl up into the ground and die. Buffy, seeing her friend's embarassment, quickly cut in. "Now, Spike, that's not fair..."

"It is so fair!" Spike said, sounding like a little kid.

"We, um, we, um, we..." Willow trailed off.

"Oh, ew!" Xander cried in disgust.

Willow, although blushing to the roots of her hair, was determined to hold onto some dignity. "Faith," was all she said. Xander immediately shut up.

"You and the old slayer?" Spike asked in disbelief. "I never-"

"Spike. Shove it," Buffy demanded. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare. Never could pass 'em up."

Buffy smiled wickedly and leaned over to whisper something to Xander, who began laughing. "Spike, come here."

"Aw, Slayer, come on! Couldn't it be a sit-down dare?"

"Nope. Now come here." She looked at his polished nails. "Maybe this won't be so much of a change." She dragged him into the bathroom, returning a few minutes later, after much screaming.

Spike looked like a woman.

His hair had been highlighted, his eyelids were purple, blusher covered his cheeks, and blue mascara was visibly noticeable, contrasting bright red lipstick. Topping it all off was the smell of peach body mist.

Everyone's jaws dropped to the ground. Then the laughter began.

"All right, Slayer," Spike growled. "You've had your fun."

"No," Buffy choked out hysterically. "Wait a sec." She pulled out a disposable camera.

Spike sighed with relief. "Won't work. Vamps can't show up on film."

"Don't bet on it." She snapped a series of pictures before eventually taking pity on the vampire and allowing him to go back to the bathroom, which he did eagerly.

And bumped into Joyce Summers, carrying hot chocolate with extra marshmellows.

"Mum! You made hot chocolate with those marshmellow thingys!" Spike said happily.

"Yes," Joyce said. She looked up and nearly spilled the drinks on the ground. "My GOD! Spike! What happened?! Buffy, what have you done?!"

Buffy couldn't stop giggling enough to answer her mother, who set down the hot chocolate and hurried off.

Joyce stumbled into the kitchen, apparently unnoticed by the group. She sat herself down at the table, quietly sipping a hot beverage. The sounds of the game could be heard from the living room. Appearently, Spike was cleaned up and back.

"So, Soul Boy, truth or dare?"

Angel, weary over Spike's dare, chose truth.

Spike contemplated his options for a moment, glancing from the slayer to Angel, before grinning wickedly. "So, Angel, ever been married?"

Buffy's soda hit the rug, and she had to cover the rug in napkins, trying to soak up the mess. She sat back against the chair, the remainder of her soda in her hand. What had possessed Spike to ask a stupid question like that? Sure, way back when people had gotten married young. But not Angel, never Angel...

"Yes."

Buffy's soda hit the rug again with a loud thunk, and this time she went to get a sponge.

"Slayer!" Spike called. "Get back here! This is your boyfriend we're talking about!"

"Ex," Buffy hissed from the bathroom, returning with a sponge to mop up the spill.

"Angel, you've actually been married?" Spike asked. He hadn't intended for that to be the answer. It was just to frazzle Buffy, the question was...

"Yes. But no legally."

"Oh, look, it's an illegal marriage. Thanks for sharing that when we were together," Buffy muttered.

"Buffy, let him finish." Willow looked sadly at her friend.

"It wasn't official. Because I never fully explained it."

Suddenly it dawned on Willow. "You married Buffy! You guys got married!"

"Let Buffy claim amnesia here, because as nice as that sounds, it didn't happen." Buffy cut in angrily.

"I said I didn't explain it," Angel said.

Buffy, still hurt over his earlier confession, turned to look at him. "What?"

"The Claddaghs. They're Irish wedding rings." Angel glanced at the ceiling and then back at her.

Her eyes were filled with tears. "Oh Angel..." She threw herself into his lap, crying against his chest.

"Arg!" Spike cried in disgust. "If I had known this would happen, I wouldn't have asked that."

"Everything comes back and slaps you in the face, doesn't it, Spike?" Cordelia asked.

Spike growled at her.

*****

Joyce had trouble not dropping her coffee on the floor. She had been sitting quietly in the kitchen, just sipping her drink. She didn't know if her daughter even realized she was in there.

Her daughter, her sweet, innocent baby, had married that...that demon? She was going to have to have a talk with her.

She glanced into the living room and all her resolve broke. Her sweet daughter was curled up in her...her husband's lap, crying softly against his shoulder.

Joyce sighed. She hated Truth or Dare.

*****

"Angel, you're supposed to ask a question," Spike finally announced, snatching Cordelia's cup of hot chocolate, much to her protest.

"Uh, Xander, truth or dare?"

Xander knew Angel could probably come up with some pretty good dares. "Truth."

"What's the biggest lie you've ever told?"

Xander stopped cold.

"Kick his ass."

Had Angel somehow figured it out? Did he know that Xander had lied to Buffy?

With a glance at Angel, Xander was pretty sure he didn't. He wasn't even paying attention to Xander, he was concentrating on stroking his...wife's hair, whispering softly to her.

"I, uh...I..." Xander trailed off. Cordelia and Willow were looking at him expectantly. "In fifth grade, at, uh, the...the amusment park, I..."

"Xander, be honest," Willow scolded. "You know I can see right through you. And we all told the truth. Well, except Spike, but hey, he dressed in drag, so..."

"Yeah, Xander," Cordelia cut in. "So what was the biggest lie you ever told?"

Xander took a deep breath, trying to think of something believeable. "Kick his ass," he blurted out, then clamped a hand over his mouth. He hadn't meant for that to slip out.

"What?" Willow asked in confusion.

"Oh, uh, in, uh, eighth grade, I kicked this guy's ass."

"No you didn't," Willow said. "And I told you, I can see right through you. So what are you talking about?"

Xander wished desperately that he had the ability to control his mouth. Unfortuneatly, it seemed implausible, because the next words out of his mouth were, "That's what I told Buffy."

"What?" Cordelia asked, throughly confused.

"I need to go. Baby-sit. My cousin. Now." Xander stood up, only to be pulled back down by Spike.

"Oh no you don't, you...what was the word Slayer told me...Zeppo."

Xander looked fearful. He glanced at Buffy, who had lifted her head from Angel's shoulder.

"That's what you told me...when I went to send Angel to Hell..."

Xander was silently wishing Buffy to shut up, wishing himself to shut up, wishing them all to shut up.

"You said kick his ass?" Willow asked, not comprehending, to Xander's relief.

"Yeah, 'cause that's what you said, remember?" Buffy explained.

"I never said that," Willow told her, slowly piecing the puzzle together. "Xander told you that I said to kick his...Angel's...ass?"

"Yeah. Remember? You sent Xander to tell me."

"No." Willow was turning red with anger. "I told Xander to tell you I was trying the spell again." She paused. "And he didn't, I can see."

Buffy stopped cold. "You lied to me?"

"Buffy, I had to..."

"You didn't have to do anything. All Willow asked you to do was tell me one simple thing, and you couldn't even do it?"

"Buffy, we would have gone to Hell!" Xander cried desperately.

"You're full of it, you know that?" Buffy stood up, face to face with Xander.

"Your mind was clouded by-by him! You wouldn't have been able to do it, waiting for the curse to kick in!"

"Where do you get off, telling me what I would and wouldn't be able to do?" Buffy hissed.

"You couldn't kill him when he went bad. You couldn't do it. Just remember that."

"Do you remember when that vampire Willow from another universe ended up here?"

"Yes," Xander said softly.

"You couldn't kill her. She wore Willow's face. And you had the real Willow right beside you. Well just pretend for a minute that that was the only Willow, the vampire one. What would it mean, if you killed her?"

"That I could never get Wills back," Xander whispered.

"Wow, you're catching on. If I killed him, I couldn't get him back."

"Maybe you should have dealt."

Buffy placed her hand on Xander's chest and shoved him up against the wall. "You don't get it, do you? Of course you don't. You don't know what it's like to be so deeply in love that you can't see anything else. You-"

"Yeah, and look where it got you."

Buffy pressed him more firmly against the wall, but continued as though she hadn't heard him. "You don't know what it's like to wake up on your own and not know where the hell they are. You don't know what it's like to find out that they've 'been around.'"

There was a collective wince at that.

"You don't know what it's like to know what happened, and know it's your fault. You don't know what it's like to have hundreds of deaths weighing on your shoulders because you couldn't do what you were supposed to do. Because you fell head over heels for someone, and by the time you found out the truth, it was too late. You don't know what it's like to cry yourself to sleep every night because you lost the one person you love more than the world. You don't know what it's like to have to kill them, to save a world that gives jack shit about you, because your supposed best friend was too much of a selfish asshole to give you pivotal information. Do you?"

"No, I don't," Xander admitted.

"You made me kill my lover," Buffy hissed.

"You never should have been lovers in the first place," Xander said harshly.

Buffy pushed him so hard to the wall that he could barely breathe. "Where do you get off telling me what I should and shouldn't do with my life?"

"When it affects everybody," Xander seethed.

"You just don't get it, do you? Maybe telling me wouldn't have changed anything. Maybe it would have made it worse. But no matter, the fact still remains that it was my decision, not yours. It was not your choice to make. The information was supposed to come from Willow to me, and let me decide what to do."

Willow cut in. "You hate Angel, you've always hated Angel. I guess I just thought you could put your petty differences aside in the name of friendship. Obviously I thought wrong."

Xander was getting desperate now. "How am I getting the blame? If you hadn't been doing the nasty with your vampire boyfriend in the first place, Buffy, none of this would have happened."

"How the Hell was I supposed to know?!" Buffy cried. "How was I supposed to know that an intimate act of love could cause complete chaos?"

"He was a vampire," Xander hissed. "You are the slayer. You shouldn't have been involved to begin with."

"Are you completely missing what I'm saying?! I already went over this, it was too late. It was too late when I found out, I was already in love with him. Look, I'm sorry if you can't handle that, but that's the way it is!"

"You screwed your boyfriend," Xander repeated. "And made the rest of our lives Hell."

"I didn't know!" Buffy cried. "And you yelling at me won't change anything! I loved him, I still do, and as I just found out, we were married! I want you to tell me what was so wrong in what we did."

"You were too young. You shouldn't have been doing that with anyone."

"Oh, so now you're going to play my mother? Mr. Linoluem-makes-me-wanna-have-sex- and-I-screwed-Faith."

Xander merely growled.

"It's not your business. Maybe you're right, maybe you're not. How close Angel and I get is none of your business, no matter what. We're on a Hellmouth, Xander, if you try you can pretty much blame it all on me. But I wish you wouldn't. I made a mistake, I know that." Tears were streaming down her cheeks. "I want forgiveness, from everyody. But from you, I want an apology. I'm sorry, Xander. Are you?"

Xander didn't say anything for a long moment, during which everyone stared intently at him.

Buffy released her grip on him as he began to speak.

"I am sorry," he said hoarsely. "I was jealous, and I was selfish, and I didn't think. I made a huge mistake that I've regretted ever since. I want you to forgive me. I forgave you long ago."

Buffy stood there for a minute, unmoving. A single tear dropped town her cheek and hit her shirt before she moved to embrace Xander. Burying her head against his shoulder, she whispered, "I'm sorry."

Xander wrapped his arms around her and whispered into her hair, "Me too. I didn't mean to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you."

Buffy sniffled and finally smiled, moving away from Xander and glancing at her friends, who were silently watching with wide eyes. "Um...hi?"

"That was interesting, Slayer, it really was," Spike declared.

"Come here," Angel whispered, catching her by the hand and pulling her back into his lap. "I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered back.

"So...wanna finish the game?"

"Actually," came a voice from the kitchen. "I need to confess something."

Everyone turned to see Joyce Summers.

"Mom?" Buffy asked wearily. "What's wrong?"

"I-I was in the kitchen, and I, I couldn't help overhearing, and it made me...I need to tell you something I did."

Buffy didn't like the sound of that. "What?"

"I...oh God, Buffy, you'll hate me for this."

"What?" Buffy repeated, her eyes penetrating her mother.

"I....I lied. No, that's not it. I didn't lie...I...ItoldAngelheshouldleave."

"What? Mom, that sounded like gibberish."

But Angel had picked it up. He began to soothingly rub Buffy's back.

"I told Angel he should leave," Joyce blurted out.

"What? Mom, what are you talking about?"

"Before your prom, I-I talked to Angel. I-I suggested it would be better for you if-if he left. I...I heard how upset you were at Xander, and I...I had to get that off my chest."

"How could you?" Buffy spat out, tears welling up in her eyes again. "How could you do that to me? To us?"

"Shh," Angel whispered to her, kissing the top of her head.

"We were doing better, we were doing so good, we were going to make it, Mom, we were..."

"I know, Baby," Joyce whispered. "I know."

"Then why..."

"I thought it was better. I wanted you to have everything Angel couldn't give you, and I thought if he left you could have it. I figured all he needed was the extra push, and everything would work out."

"Oh, Mom," Buffy sobbed. "You thought wrong."

"I can see that now. I keep hurting you, Buffy, and I don't want to. You're my only daughter, I just want what's best for you."

"I know you do," Buffy whispered. "I know you were just trying to help. But I wish you wouldn't. Everything was finally working out, we were finally doing well together...and then...and then..."

"I know," Joyce whispered. "I was only trying to help, Buffy, you have to know that; I was only trying to help. But I only succeeded in hurting you. God knows that's the last thing I ever want to do, you mean so much to me..."

"I know you don't want to hurt me, Mom," Buffy whispered. "But you have to let me make my own decisions. I won't be happy without Angel, I can't be happy. I love him so much, I don't know what to do without him."

"I know. And I'm sorry. And I hope Angel will come back, for you. Listening to you all tonight, it made me realize what I couldn't see before. That you love each other, that you belong to each other, that you need each other."

"And I'll find a way to fix the curse, I will!" Willow piped up. "I can do that, you know! I bet I can, I'm sure I can..."

Buffy gave her a small smile, brushing away tears.

"I'm sorry, Buffy," Joyce repeated.

The air was silent for a moment, and the song on the CD player filled the void.

Mother can't you see
I've got to live my life the way I feel is right for me
Might not be right for you
But is right for me

"You're forgiven, Mom. You're forgiven."

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