Disclaimer: Not mine. Nuff said.
Spoilers: Vague AtS up to 'Dear Boy'
Summary: Angel decides to give Buffy a call after all the recent
Darla frustration. Stupid semi-fluff.
Distribution: Just ask, I'll say yes *g*
Author's Notes: This is a semi-companion piece to a darker
Angel/Darla fic called "Kiss me, Kill me." If anyone's interested in reading it, give me a shout =)
Feedback: Is very welcome, please... =)
Rating: Eh... PG
Don't do it.
Don't even think about it. You're only setting yourself up. You can deal with this alone. Oh yes, of course you can deal with this alone, that's why you're *talking to yourself!*
Angel buried his face in his hands, tearing his gaze away from the telephone. His life, to put it plainly and immaturely, really *sucked* right now. His mind wouldn't stop for one second and all his thoughts revolved around was Darla.... he was suffering with his surrogate and family and his job because of it, and everyone around him was convinced that any minute now he would snap and turn evil.
And Angel well remembered that there had only ever been one person that had trusted him with that whole 'not turning evil thing'. Which was why he had been staring at the phone for the past half hour.
He had to call her.
No, he couldn't.
Yes, he could.
DAMMIT!
Growling irritably, he picked up the phone and dialed without thinking the number to Buffy's dorm... he couldn't quite remember how the hell he managed to get it in the first place, but he just considered himself a lucky bastard for remembering it. Any minute now he'd be able to talk to his Buffy and everything would be okay. His Buffy?! Dangerous territory...
*ring ring*
//Hi, Buffy! No, too chipper...//
*ring ring*
//Hello, Buffy. No, too brooding...//
*ring ring*
//Buffy. Nice. Very caveman.//
*ring- "Hello?"
"Hi B-"
That wasn't Buffy.
It was *him*.
"Hello?"
//Come on, talk to the shrimp, you're two hundred and forty years old for Chrissake!//
"Is Buffy there?"
"Who is this?"
"I want to speak to Buffy."
Silence. "Oh. It's *you*. Look, Buffy's not here right now... and-and I don't think she'd appreciate you just calling like this out of the-"
"Riley, who is it?"
Angel's heart froze in his chest. He knew exactly what that tone of voice meant. He'd heard it for one blissful day as they'd drifted off after.... Oh, God. He shouldn't have called.
"It's nobody, Buffy."
"BUFFY!!"
//Oh God. You are a moron.//
On the other end of the line he heard a muffled gasp and a few stray curses coming from Riley. There was a faint rustling, and suddenly there it was, the beautiful voice he knew would calm him and bring him peace out of the hysteria of the past few days.
"What the HELL are you doing calling me?"
Or maybe not.
"Buffy, I... I need to talk to you. I'm sorry I called... there's no one else."
He almost heard her heart soften at his words, and was glad that he still had a marginal effect on her.
"Hang on one second, Angel."
He was aware that she clasped her hand over the receiver, but he still heard the words she said next loud and clear, and it was enough to make his heart spin.
"Riley, I need you to leave."
Muffled protestations were heard, but eventually after a loud rustling she lifted her hand from the receiver.
"Angel?"
"Buffy." //What did I tell you about caveman??//
"I'm sorry, that must have been awkward."
"Um... yeah. I'd rather not-"
"I know, I'm sorry."
Sorry? Angel's heart softened a bit. After their last exchanges he never expected to hear those words again. Perhaps there still was something between them. He knew there always would be on his side... but he had doubted for a while her heart still held what it had for him. Maybe someday they would -
"Angel?"
"Oh. Buffy! Sorry, I was-"
"Thinking. I know. I've been doing that a lot lately."
"About what?"
Suddenly it was very quiet. "About.... Riley. And.... and us."
"Us?"
A sad sigh was heard. "You know what I mean, Angel. This is hard for me to say, but I've only just been realising... I've been so awful to you.... and I've lied to you... but I miss what we had. I'm so sick of hiding it, and Riley.... he's nice, he is. But... he's not you. No- one ever will be."
Tears came to his eyes. She knew. She always knew the words that would calm him and reassure him, and... "Oh God, Buffy...."
And then all he could do was sob openly. "Angel? Oh, Angel, are you all right?"
"Buffy.... I need you." //Tell her, tell her everything.//
"Angel, what happened?"
"It's... it's Darla. She's alive. As in human alive." A gasp was heard and then the words came flooding out. "I don't know what to do, she had me obsessed and stalking her and I can't think straight and... and I couldn't stop *dreaming* about her and she's using these mind games... and everyone around me seems to be so far away and for a moment it was though she was the only one there for me. Buffy... I felt like I forgot about you. And I didn't even realise until we were kissing-"
"Kissing?!"
"Buffy, please let me just finish, I have to tell you everything. And this is hardly everything, I kind of have to sum up, because if I told you in detail about those dreams I had you might never speak to me again."
"Oh... okay."
"So... I was kissing her, and then I remembered everything and it was still so hard to fight her, but the thought of you was the only thing that had me hanging on by a thread. There's no-one else that really trusts me anymore and I knew I had to talk to you. I'm sorry if I'm intruding again, it's just God, I miss you and I... I *need* you. So much."
"Oh... Angel." He heard a small choked sob. "What happened to us?"
The tears found their way to his eyes again, and he tried not to think about how badly he wanted to hold her. "I don't know Buffy... I don't. It was everything and nothing and it was the biggest mistake of my life and I'm so sorry."
"No, Angel, I'm sorry too. I tried to forget about you all last year, and now I'm in this awful place, and I feel obligated to Riley even though I don't love him, I'll *never* love him and..." Suddenly there was silence. "Angel, I need to see you."
"What?"
"We need to really talk about this. Face to face. Talk through everything, Darla.. Riley... I'm not saying it'll magically fix everything, but-"
"It'd be a start."
"Right."
He heard a small sniffle, and he imagined being able to wipe the lone tear from her cheek. "Buffy?"
"Yes?"
//Say it!//
"I love you."
Without so much of a pause he heard what he'd longed to hear for months.
"I love you too, Angel. Still so much..."
"I'll come up tomorrow to see you then."
"Tomorrow?"
"Why, is that too soon?"
He heard a blessed laugh from her. "Angel, you could be here in five minutes and it wouldn't be too soon."
He had to smile at that. "How about I meet you at Restfield after dark?"
"Sounds like a plan."
"I'll see you then, Buffy. Thank you."
"Thank you, Angel. For knocking some sense back into me."
The smiled widened. "You're welcome Buffy. I'll see you soon."
"Goodbye."
*click*
It's amazing how a simple click can flip your life back the way it's supposed to be. To make everything just... still. Completely tranquil. Completely at peace with -
"An-geeelll! Wesley's trying to invade the personal bubble again!"
"Will you shut up Cordelia, I'm doing nothing of the sort!"
Thank God there was only 20 hours until the next sunset.
Comments, good or bad? I might write a sequel - is anyone interested? Please let me know (off list of course *g*) Thanks for reading =)
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